The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - The Christmas Show | Ep. 2

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

In this special Christmas episode, DC Young Fly and Karlous Miller talk about Cold Christmas nipples, Bill Cosby, and how you know you're at a ghetto ass Christmas. Plus, DC tells stories about growing up in the church and dealing with crackhead family members. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Thank you for supporting IHart Women's Sports and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis. Just open the free IHeart app and search IHeard women's sports to listen now. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp

for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network, Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 85. 85. 85, hey.

Yo, yo, yo, it's your boy, D.C. on fly. Mr. Fock. You, man. You know what time it is. We are here presented to you by a comedyo hype.com. 85.com. It's your man. Carlos Miller. Catch us. Catch. Fuck it. Starting over again.

Merry Christmas. And it's Christmas, yeah, I, and I, hey, man, this is the Christmas show, man. You're a Christmas show. Hey, man, this is going to be, this is my Christmas outfit. You like it. I ain't even got no Christmas outfit, man. What did you get in your girl for Christmas? I bought some shit off the street.

You lying. And I told her that I spent a lot of money for it. You line, ass. You probably bought the Gucci bag that came with the birth certificate. Right out of the flea market. Yes, I did. Yeah, whatever. Yes, I did.

For $8.5 bucks. Oh, nice guy ass. That's me. That me. Man, you been in love all year. You got to get her something. You can't just break up with her two months before Christmas and act like you wasn't in love. You got to get her something still.

Hey, you know what I got my girl, though? I got a birth certificate because y'all wouldn't know who her dad was. For real? Like you got one of the little ancestor thing? It's still with Blank, though, so I wrote a nigga name in it. Damn. I wrote Jeffrey. You stupid.

You're dumb as hell, man. I wrote Jeffrey. You say you bought your girl a birth certificate. I bought a birth certificate. And you're trying to find who her dad is, right? Yeah, she wanted to know who her dad was, but it was blank, so I just wrote Jeffrey. That's a pointless gift, bro. No, it ain't.

Like, you just made that up? And I had to copy that one, so, like, a little official, you know what I'm saying? She was like, oh, my God, I never met Jeffrey. You gave it to me all right? It's stupid, man. Still ain't met him. What's you asking for for Christmas? I don't ask for nothing because I can buy whatever I want.

I just want somebody to buy me a bag of wheat. I don't care what size of it is. Like it would be a dime, but I just want somebody to buy me a bag of a week. I want a threesome. Yeah, but that's better in the spring. I mean, a Christmas threesome cool if y'all got like a cabin and a fireplace. But that's what I'm trying to go. You can't have a threesome in your house with the heat on, bro.

Yes, you can. You could, but I mean, it's not. That ain't cold. Have you ever lit on a car? whole nipples, bro. Yeah. The best. That's the worst to me.

No, it ain't. Coal, like, soft, soggy nils. So you like to put, like, your grapes to Eminem to the shit in the freezer up? Yeah. I ain't one of them tight. See what I'm saying? I like mine crunch. So you're trying to have a Christmas threesome?

Yes, bro. I want them to really be ho-ho-ho's. Oh, okay. I ain't never think of it like that. You feel what I'm saying? And then that's probably the only time you could call them out of your name. Y'all ho-ho-ho's coming up. You know what I'm saying.

Man, this is the perfect time to drop the word of the day. I mean, I know it's too early but you got to drop the word of it. What's the word of the day? If you're going to have some threesomes with some ho-ho-ho, you gotta give them the you'll log. You got to.

I got to. That's the word of the day. You'll log. Every time you hear somebody say, you'll log, we need to hear like a buzzer or something. She's like, bing. Give us one cat. We're still working on that sound of thing.

Ain't nobody got it on their phone? Somebody sent me a text so I could go off. A soft thing. You allowed. So since we got the word of the day, you use the word. use the word in the sentence.

You'll log. Like, a lot of black people well don't really know what a you'll log get. We're like, we use the word, but we don't use it in context. Like, hey, bro, your phone charged up? You'll log into my Facebook. You know what I'm saying?

Like, that's the you'll log. You're a log. You a log. See, I'm so X-rated. I tell, you know what I'm saying? Hey, you think you were a log. Cut it. They ain't going to keep it.

They ain't going to keep it. You too gross. I'm too gross You can use that in the strip club That's why I'm gonna keep my whole whole ho Hey you've been to the strip club For like Christmas season Man they'd be

They'd be dancing with the little Christmas hat on That's sexy a little bit That kind of sexed a little bit It'd be fun A little bit One girl had Since her because her teethers was sang She had like

A reindeer outfit And I think like They look like real reindeer The long teeth Like every pot to be like The eyes or something It looked like The reindeer were crying

Hey, it's been a ghetto-ass Christmas, though. A ghetto-ass Christmas. When do you know when it's a ghetto Christmas? When y'all got that little tree, that real little bit of tree. The little tree on the TV. That sit on the little shelf. It's an in between the city player and the tree. Yeah, and then y'all put the gifts like under the dress.

Yeah, that's some ghetto. That's when you know, did you know you had a ghetto Christmas when everybody sleep on the floor? I mean, everybody. Everybody. You're like, y'all ain't going home for your own Christmas? No, everybody. And they're on the one car outside.

You ever, uh, y'all ever ran out of wrapping paper and had to use the newspaper? We had to use aluminum four. Right. Luminum four. Wow. Hey, you know it's a ghetto Christmas when you be about to cry and your mama see it in your eyes. And she'd be like, come here. I'm going to get your bike when I get my income tax.

That's when you know it's a ghetto. Like if your parents ever, like, promised you some gifts later on, the ghetto Christmas. Now, you know it's a ghetto Christmas when. your parents hide the toys and you found them and they whipped your ass and gave your toys to your cousin. Right. But that shit hurt.

You know it's a ghetto Christmas win. The police knock on the door. The police knock on the door and take your daddy to jail. That's the worst. That's the worst one. Because he stole the Christmas gifts. My dad was DUI. He had hit some people on the way back from the store that year.

He locked his ass up and child support. Now, you know it's. It's a ghetto Christmas. When? When they take the Christmas socks and put them on their feet. See, you lost some people. Hold up. I'm talking about the Christmas Santa Claus.

Let me translate. I got to translate. Translate it to the white people. See, white people use stockings, right? Stockens. D.C. Youngflower from the west side of Atlanta, they use socks. And after you get your initial gifts, you put them on your feet. You put them on your feet.

You know it's a ghetto Christmas. the ghetto Christmas when you take real socks and you hang them over the fireplace. Yeah. And you're going to put nothing in them. Just socks. This is how you know it's a ghetto Christmas, bro. When your grandma show up at your house with her church wig on. And it's

backwards. All she came to do would make two sweet potato pads and she's about to go home because her feet swollen up. That's how you need. That's when you know it's the ghetto Christmas, man. All right, this is when you know it's a ghetto Christmas. When? When your cousin that said, dope, just pull up in the yard with the music playing real loud and sit out there for 20 minutes

and everybody like, Mark ain't coming in the house? Yeah. Yeah. Now, this is how you know it's a ghetto Christmas. When your stud cousin come over to the house dressing like Santa Claus. No, when your gay cousin show up with the new Jordan, that's when you know it's a ghetto Christmas. And she had that little chick with her. She'd be like, oh, that's my home girl.

Now, you know it's a ghetto Christmas when they paid the crackhead to play Santa Claus, but he still there by the toy. He fell asleep. I'm like, what Rion there? Ron got all these damn toys. Brough, you know it's a ghetto Christmas when you got to meet your baby mama a quick trip to drop your little boy toys off.

Boy, that's ghetto is hell, ain't it? That's ghetto is hell. That's ghetto as hell. Now, you know it's a ghetto Christmas when everybody arguing in the group text message about where the Christmas party gonna be. Oh, yeah, like, uh-uh, so we can't eat overshur how she got roaches.

That's when you know it's a ghetto Christmas. It's a ghetto Christmas, man, when y'all ain't got no cable and you gotta be on your phone all day to see what everybody else's on. But your phone off so you just got to stay on Wi-Fi. That's the you know it's a ghetto.

And when you know it's a ghetto ass-gris. And when everybody gets the fine. What's the Wi-Fi pad called? Hey, bro, you ever had an X show up at Christmas? Just show up. Not in my house. It'd go down, man. Now, you know it's a ghetto Christmas

where a nigga go outside in the yard and bust a pilster like 8th of July. Bo, boy, boy. Man, Crumman. Ain't crumble, Nick, wake up Then run in the house and hat You know it's a ghetto Christmas When you're popping in the show up

With them $250 60 and flat screen That's when you know It ain't Christmas until your boy be like Why? We got their ad this week It ain't Christmas in the city Then you don't hear that You know it's a ghetto Christmas

But you can stay up on criminal Ead but go to sleep on Christmas Yeah, can you? You ain't getting shit. You know that. Shout out to everybody who this is your first real Christmas and you're just realizing that you're getting up then age and you think you're getting something. And you ain't getting the damn thing.

Welcome to the real world. Welcome to the real world. Ain't nothing free in this world, man. It's a ghetto Christmas, everybody. You know what I'm saying? Man, what do you get for Christmas, man? What do you get your people for Christmas, man? You know what?

What? This year ain't nobody getting nothing but my son and my nephew. That right. Like, me and my brothers, like, we just give each other gifts, like, stuff that's been laying around all year, like, hey, bro, you need to take this with you. So we just, we give each other gifts that's already open. That's how I'm all right. We always make sure we get my little sister a lot of stuff. Come my mama, hoarder.

For real. So that's a lot of stuff that she ain't seen in years. So I ain't do nothing but, like, go over some junk, grab it, put it in a Christmas president. You got a lot of good Christmas ideas, man. You really be thinking about this stuff. No, this is stuff I've done, and I'm doing it again. Like, how you've been coming up with this stuff? Like, I'm just steal one of my mama old gifts and give it back to her.

It's what's what I do. Right. You know what I'm saying? If your mama is a hoarder, it's stuff she ain't seen in years. You just got to watch her expression. Like, she just, oh, my God, I always wanted this book. But now you got to tell them what a hoarder is. Because you know our audience, we got some dudes on who listening right now.

Like, what he called my mama? I slapped shit out flat. Oh, hoarder is a person who collects stuff but end up sleeping on stuff they collect. Bro, I ain't never heard you sound that smart before. I believe you. Because I don't try to go to people and try to help them, like, get my house clean. So they're like, so tell me what's going on. I'm like, listen, my mama collect a lot of things, and now she's sleeping on stuff she collect.

I ain't never met a black hoarder. Black people I use the meat don't have shit, and y'all got extra shit. Bro, we got to walk sideways in our house. Word. Word. You still on the west side? Listen, 1-800 hoarders is not picking up the phone for me. Oh, they're going to have to come set the little bin up.

in your yard throw that shit Don't you know We had a flood in our house And we ended up having to get all the stuff outside the house So my mom didn't want to take you the storage So it was in the driveway So people used to be right about like y'all moving

I'm like no That's just the living room Oh Hey I love when people get You ever see somebody get like evicted You know like in Georgia When you get evicted You got to leave right then

Like it ain't no I let me It's right then So I love when people get evicted And they set the living room up outside and their dude just be sitting on the couch like he had the crib. Let me tell you something.

My mama will pick the couch up and him. Mark. You feel him? Shout out to DC Youngflat mama. She's trill out here. She is trilled. She will pull over. Thank you.

That's my cry. That's my cry when she pulled over and going to get some old junk. Hold on. Hit that one more time, man. Stop it, Mama. We don't need them more. You feel?

It's terrified. It's terrifying. Amen. For My Heart Podcasts in Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so... sucked in by this man and in thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the

greatest honor. But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey. And then he became the prey. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health.

struggles and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories, I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets.

With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of FACTS.

Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, tell us about Christmas on the West Side, man. West Side of Atlanta. Why are you opening up Christmas? Straight like that.

Dicke that die, you know what I'm trying to ride that dirt bike. Hey, bro, on some real, ever since I moved to Atlanta, like on Christmas Day, I ride through all the hoods, bro. All the hood. Now, everybody be outside. That's why I do it, because everybody be outside. I love when you see the ghetto kids who got, like, some new skates,

but they got split them with their little brothers, so they just have one skate on. Bru, you see a bike with four kids on it. This only thing I like about in the hood when everybody's watching one person ride the bike because it ain't on him to get off. They're taking turns. Like, that's everybody by the bike. Hey, you're on some real ghetto shit.

You ever had, like, you'd be outside with your friends riding your bike there, like your older brother just grab your bike and ride at the green bike. Now you ain't got no bike. Your brother, like your brother really doesn't rode your whole bike? And now you see him on it.

Have you ever seen somebody on the expressway in the emergency lane around the bike? On 285. Man, that'd be the funniest shit ever, man. I'm talking about a hauling ass. On 285. On the easy gear.

So it looked like they're going faster than they're going. You know, you know. You're feeling. What's up, fool? What's up? Yeah, you know me Do a little crib of shopping

Bands and stuff All the on the handle balls That's what we do on the west side West side, bro Have you ever seen somebody Chained up a bike outside the gas station? Brough, yeah They chained up the bike

I love when you're in the hood And you see like the Jay who got a bike And he'd have made some rims With like some electrical tape And tape the radio on them No, I like the Js who put a steering wheel On the bike Hold up

Let me let Hold up A lot of people This Atlanta They don't know What the Jays are Crank-Head Yeah, the Jays

The Junkies The junkies Yeah Homeless people The most entertaining people In the world Have you ever

Have you ever heard A homeless people Talk about I'm just trying to get home? You ever seen A homeless person In two different sides of the city

Like I saw a nigga That was homeless Downtown And then he was in Duluth one weekend I'm like bro What you doing up here? Yeah my sister

Stay up here I come up here and be homeless sometimes I'm like Give me $3 and get back to the city. Hey, I hate the crackhead that the ones you used to serve, then you don't serve no more, and they still answer for money. Like, I know what you're going to go do with the money.

I used to serve you. Hold up. We got to translate. We picked up a lot of white people listening to the show. White people, when you serve somebody, that means you sold them some drugs. Yes. Sold them some drugs. They sold geek that they don't remember you sold them some drugs.

Sold them some drugs. Bray, you ever been to Agworth? But... Actworth, Georgia. They got the real meth heads. Yes. They look like the people off the walking dead. They got a whole bunch of chicken pops on their face.

Yeah, they'd be itching. As soon as you try to, you like, you stop to get some gas. Hey, man, hey, listen here. Me and my wife are stuck up here. And we were just trying to get a few dollars and gas. Trying to get some drugs. Trying to get some drugs. We're just warning you can give us a few dollars, try to get back home.

bro let me tell you so and then you give him the money you think that there's his car that ran out of gas but then you see that he don't even have no damn car he just ran game on you it's somebody else car let me tell you what the cracker did

to me the other day right so I'm right there trying to dream what you get you know what I'm saying he said man look I'm just trying to get something to eat so I know the meals and that probably like seven dollars

about seven so I gave him eight you know what I'm saying so I'm watching me and he watched me watch him you know what I'm saying so I'm like yeah I ain't going nowhere because I asked for my money back Or take it one. You feel what I'm right?

So you know what he do? He went and bought the cheapest thing, you know, some egg rolls. Word. Some 50 cent egg rolls and took the other money. I said, you know what player? I ain't going to knock it because you did. Everybody's something to eat. And I know what you're going to get a fix, aka somebody fin going to sell him some drugs.

Hey, hey, my uncle cheap is here, right? What do you do? My uncle cheap is hell. I'm talking about cheap, cheap. So, bro, we went to a Braves game. I bullshit you not. went to a Braves game, he made two baloney egg sandwiches, and he wrapped

them up in aluminum for, right? For some reason, he didn't eat, he didn't eat one of them at the game. Yeah. When we walk out, the homest dude, like, hey, bro, give me something, get something to eat. My auger ain't getting nobody, shit. He was like, I ain't got no money, but I give you this sandwich. I fell out laughing because I'm like, man, I don't about

want that damn sandwich. You didn't even want the damn sandwich. And the homes dude got mad, like, I eat it while you playing. I was just quiet. I was like, my bad, bro, because I don't, You know, when them hunger pains standing in, you're really not yourself. You're seeing the Snickers commercial. You turned to a whole new muffling with your own.

I eat it while you plan. Why you plan? I'm going to go ahead and eat this shit so I can have some energy to go get some drugs. Much more than everybody who's struggling with drug addiction. Yes, bro. Go get you some help. Hey, this from the 85 South Show to you. If you're struggling with addiction, hey, man, go talk to somebody.

But look, though, the crazy part about it, look, okay, before you give them a head clap. Oh, you're going to just stop my clap because... No, no, before you give them a hair to clap. All right. That's why sometimes I be scared to be successful. Why? Because all crackheads used to be successful. Bro, all you got, this is a trick to being successful.

I don't know. If anybody listening, trying to get on, trying to have some longevity, this is the first step. Because I don't know. I watch Anson. See, you grind your ass off. You be working. You be working. You're working them hits and murder.

the chart and everybody love you. Then this is where you fall off that. You be at a party, right? And something's like, hey, bro, wants some cocaine. As long as you can decline cocaine the first time, you'll make it. Don't ever start with the cocaine.

That's where you start falling off. Everybody who never fell off was on cocaine. See, I like how you skipped cocaine because you was about to be pooped. Listen, I was a step away. You was right there, bro. I was a thought away from being the crackhead. And I know you ain't washed your hands.

You just lick your fingers. Uh-uh. Yeah, you did. I knew. I gave a crackhead to bed. deal. I say, look, if you buy all these right now and you fix my alternator, you can get all this. He can fix the hell out of my own time.

I don't think he fixed the alternative. He was just looking and like, oh, yeah, I got it. He checked the oil. And that was it. Man. Happy holidays, all the crackheads. Happy house. Hey, the crackheads make the holidays interesting sometime.

They be security. It's been a lot of burglaries and robberies. It'd be them. Do you buy it like? They would steal your shit and and be security. Like, you know what? I'm going to watch your house make shit don't happen again while you sleep

they're the same like you buy stuff off the street from like boosters and shit don't even just be like

just blink if you ever have all right cool I don't want like this whole we ain't incriminate nobody but this shit

do happen you know what we live in a big city the crazy things I ever seen a crackhead try to sell around the holidays

is a leisure toothbrush I'm like bro you're fucking crackhead nobody a two brush that's been in your hand? You've been in the streets all day. I saw one try to sell, like, one of the big packs of screwdrivers

with, like, 40-50 screwdriver. Have you ever... He wanted $10 for him. That's a good deal for 40-screwdrable. You know what the best thing about crack is, like, they will come to you and you can make a list of stuff you want them to steal out of the stove. Like, look, go get some soap. You know, you know, you know, aisle eight.

You know, they don't never watch me on hour eight, so I can get a lot of stuff. I'm like, look, that rack up on hour eight. You ever have a crack-ass shit you ain't think of you a buy from? Like, yeah, I got 32 gallons of washing powder. How much you want for it? $28. I mean, maybe won't create the $7.28. $7.00 and $14.

I'm like, come on with it. Man, I know it's a crack. You got a drug crack people in your face? It's a crack. Yes. Yes. My brother is. Your brother is a crack.

He, look, I said my brother's a crack. That's a hard. That's how hard he's the rock. all the wake up when you pull baking pot on. Go on somewhere. Go! No, but see, my brother was a crackhead, man. He was or he is? Like, if you, I feel like if you were

crackhead... If you do it over 15 years, you're a vet. I feel like if you were a crackhead, you're always going to be a crackhead. Like, you can't never not be a crackhead. Listen to me. Because that shit is in your DNA. Crack gets in your roots. Let me tell you something. I did not know that my brother was a jacket because when my brother... When my brother used

used to come home, no, my brother's knocking my dad at dough. And he used to be like, who is it? I'd be like, in Mar, Daddy, he always be like, don't let him in my house. And I'd be like, all right, he said, I'm talking through the screen, though. I'm like, hey, what's up, bro? He's like, what dad at? I'm like, Daddy, no, he said, tell him to him, shoot me something. You know, I'm young, so I don't know what shoot me something in.

I'm like, dad ain't got no gun. He's like, no, he'll know what you're talking about. So I go back and I'm like, look, Ma said, he wants me to shoot you something. He said, huh, slide this through the door and tell, and, hey, remember what I told you, don't let him in my house. I'm like, it's our brother. Like, why you don't want him in the house? So one time I unlocked the dough My dad heard that door unlocked

Man came in up Slammed the door Boom Didn't I tell you not Let him in my house He's on drugs Somebody selling him Some drugs

I was scared I had auntie who was on drugs Real bad I remember one time She had got real high This is one I fell out of love With my crackhead auntie I was about

Probably four or five years old She came over our house And she ate like five boxes This is a series. And then she stole, like, my mama had some little kitty cats on the table. You know, I had like some little decor, some brass. They were brass. No, brass looked like gold.

So she stole the kid or cats thing. I was like, I came, I came. First of all, you came ate all my little breakfast cereal off the top. I'm mad. Took the toys. Then you're going to steal from a mama who then looked out for you and made sure you was straight and gave you four, five dollars before you left. Ungrateful at it.

But one thing I can tell about crackheads and your family, they will help you break the law. Yeah. You ever see your crackhead, like, your crackhead family member, and they've been like a good crackhead. Like, they got everybody laughing and they dance. He was like, hey, that's my cousin. Get it.

Yeah, he's been dancing. Yeah. He dances his ass on. Hey, I remember my brother. Go Willie. Go Willie. I. Go Willie.

I. Then he disappeared out of no one because he smokes with crack. Fall out. Have a heart attack. I'm straight. I'm back. What do? What he do?

What he do? I, hey, I remember my dad at a funeral, my brother, they were like, do anybody want to say something at the funeral? Not the crackhead, bro. Listen, my brother got up. Everybody was like, no, shit. Don't what he going to do? He got up.

He was like, I want somebody to say. He said, I got something to say. So we were like, we know you got something to say. You got the bite. He was like, oh, he's for all the times. And my dad wouldn't let me in the house. He didn't ever let that go. Papa was a roo.

He know I own it a part of dad of home I'm glad he died But we warped his ass You're telling me that your crackhead brother Go go up at your dad in funeral And saying Papa was a rolling stone Hey bro we whipped his ass I love you dad RIP

That one came from the heart I love you Rest and pieces of flat daddy Dad wanted me to say that Bro I remember one time My crackhead cousin Pio he broke it to the shoe stuff

stole all the display shoes and like brought him to the crib and I'm like hey cut get whatever you want out of there I was like these are all lefts anybody wear all these lefts he's talking about put the other one on he might walk fun but you still got it

bro hey don't drugs is serious hey don't drugs is serious man shout out to the crack heads who uh who's stealing puppies this this year amen and selling them for a low low

that's wild what else did we get everybody on Christmas yeah No, we didn't. You know who we left out? What? I mean, we were talking about gifts, a gift for your girl and shit,

but what about the side chicks? You already know what they get. Just what we said, nothing. Nothing. You ain't going to get your side chick, nothing? Man, give her a picture. You get my side chick. My side chick, holy dog.

For real. Yeah, I've been thinking, I'm probably going to get us something real sweet. My side chick, too busy trying to get in the front. I'm like, listen, we can't have two quarterbacks. For real. You know what I'm saying? You got to be the receiver.

You know what I'm saying? Play something else. She's trying to be hype. She's trying to tell me, look, Oh, the boy, you're my heart. Like, boom! I got this. Move!

Like, man. I got a good side show. She's been holding it down. For real, so what you're going to get? Probably give her some droves. Since that's mostly what I see her in anyway, I'm probably give her some growl. Some Victoria's Secret.

No, my side chick, she's down, so it don't really matter. I could get her some football cleats. She'll still be like, it's whatever. My nigga got me some cleats. You know what? Man, but guess what? I know we're talking about this Christmas stuff, man. How do you feel about Kwanza?

Do you even know what Kwanza is? I know Kwanza, too. Yeah, she's staying in Dakota, a big-ha-ha-booter. I know her Kwanza. She got one arm. Wow. Are you turned on by that? You get it because she got one arm?

All right, well, though. No, it's crazy because she got, like, them little four little fingers. Stop. Flat, fly. Stop. They call them finger balls. Stop. Finger balls.

You're going to get our show cut off, man. Cut that shit on. They got the fingerballs. They took a move. I was at the airport the other day. I saw a dude. He was like a little person, right? Like a little, like a, you know what I'm saying?

A little person. Yeah. But he had one real, real long arm. So he was like leaning on the arm when he walked, bro. He was like scooped itself. For real. But now, Kwanza with them little finger balls, though, bro. I don't know nothing about Kwanza.

We black. And I don't remember when they made up Kwanza. It was like 95, 94. Like, where is Kwanza? I don't know. All I know is you're supposed to say harrombie. Haramba. Haramba.

You like candles. It's like a red candle, a cup of green ones. Oh, buddy. I mean, when the lights shut out, but we had Kwanza all the time. Yeah, I think Kwanza is a real black holiday because I ain't heard. Nobody say you're supposed to give nobody nothing.

I think you're just supposed to show up with your family and eat. Well, shit, we need to start celebrating Kwanza then. I got it on Google right quick. You Google. Google, what it said? It is a secular festival observed by many African Americans. from December 26th to January 1st as a celebration of their cultural heritage and traditional views. I don't know if this is an accurate description because this says observed by many African Americans.

And anybody who lives in America knows that there ain't a lot of African Americans. It's a lot of niggas, a whole lot of black folks, but African Americans, fewer far between. And the crazy part about it who just looked that up? He's Chinese. He ain't even Chinese. What are you? I don't know. Guatemalas. He's from Philippines or something, bro. All I know is he puts saracha on all this shit.

That's crazy. He eats that saracha. So I guess we're going to have to start celebrating Quanza so we can... Next year, dog. So really, Quanza is like a Christmas... It's really... Black History Month. It's the exact week.

It's like Black History Week. Okay. I didn't know that. It started on December 26. I'm celebrating Quazza. What you mean? What year? It just said December 26.

Yeah, it didn't tell us the day that it was established. But trust me, I sent the commercial. I come my Martin Luther King, ain't I'm saying nothing about that. Because they wouldn't celebrate. We as a people have to start celebrating Kwanza because we

have to be united as the people Kwanza. Mm-mm. I told you. They made up Kwanza. Damn, I bet he probably was just tripping. They wouldn't make a Kwanza when I'm got the hell on.

Martin Luther King wanted a real thing. You ever see those pictures on the internet of Martin Luther King? Bro. But you know how strong-minded you got to be for you to hit Martin and Martin don't get back. Did you see the Mon Luther King movie?

I will not punch you back no matter how many times you hit me in the face. I did not know Martin Luther King was on them cigarettes like that. He had to do some, all them threatening and listen to me. Listen, Malcolm, I will not fight violence with violence. I don't care how many times I get hit in the face. Malcolm, like, fuck that shit. Man, it ain't hit me.

I'm hitting your ass back. Oh, MLK died of 1968. We just got an upload. So I did celebrate Kwanza. Maybe once. I got some head on Kwanza. Grasda had to get me right. Oh.

Well, I can't believe. I can't believe you disrespect to Mwarno of the King. I ain't disrespecting. That's really. Listen. Quans, bro, what are we doing with Kwanza this year? They said all you got to do is celebrate being black. J don't get locked up.

That's it. Hey. Everything all way up to that point, though. But it's like, what can we do to celebrate to be black? We got to have a cookout. We got to. I know a couple of people who barbecue on the summer time. No.

No, we got to do it. We got to do it. Let's do it at your, which one, your auntie got that deck on the back. On the barbecue, people only come when the food done. As soon as you upload, the food done, before they'll be pulling on. But see, that's the thing. It's not going to be like a cookout, cookout. We're not having a cookout.

We're not having a barbecue. Oh, and we got a really like food gays. I'm like, we got to have like a mini grill. Right. So you only bring what you want to cook. You know what I'm saying? They ain't going to get the food. We cook it's Kwanza.

Because it's Kwanza. That's what black people do. We stench. Hell, yeah. We got to go over our grandma house. We got to. Yeah. Got to go over your grandma house.

You celebrate Kwanza. I met with Kwan. It's going to be a lot of mid smoking on Kwanza, too. Ooh. Let me see. What else? What's some other real black shit that you could do to celebrate Kwan? You got to do the electric slat somewhere.

You got to do the electric slide. And somebody got to fight. That's black history. Somebody got to fight with a cigarette in their mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody got to get the fine. Or you got to fight.

Oh, you got to fight. For my heart a fight or something. Yeah, it got to be some, too. For My Heart Podcasts in Rococo Punch, this is the Turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man

and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor. But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey. And then he became the prey. Listen to the turning, River Road,

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction. abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer.

Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on the street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated.

Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

You know but you know how black people fight Because of the kids got to find Right Like no get off him No they're they little boy let them fight Yeah No because your son can hit headwood So that's why you're mad

My son can't I don't really take them around other kids He don't like kids like kids like kids like that. My little nephew's so crazy. He's friends. My son came. I took my son to one of them little park days, right? My son came back. He was like, Dad, I'm ready to go. I was like, what's wrong? He said, man, these kids got germs.

Your child, it's real child. I was like, what? He was like, yeah, Daddy, they keep coughing. They're nasty. I was like, right. Damn. So what you do? We had to leave, bro. I'm a good daddy, bro. A lot of dudes don't know. A lot of people, I'm like one of the best daddies ever.

I got I'm because I already got my son set up to succeed in like yeah sooner he was born guess what daddy did what happened got him circumcised right off the top no questions asked cash go on here get him straight I got circumcised too but I ain't know what it was I got I did that trying to get my son the advantages in life circumcised could they say sometimes you get circumcise sometimes you get circumcise it look like a slinky yeah you got to Hey!

Whatever am I going up? Some don't know they got a turtleneck. Speaking of turtle necks. Bill Cosby is suing seven of his sexual accusers. It's like how you you rape somebody and then accuse them for not giving you the person.

Okay, but see, this is what, this is the fraction that don't add up. Bill Cosby got like 50 accusers. Okay. That's a, it's, it's a question. It got to be so true because it's 50. That's, he got 50 accusers, right?

That's the equivalent of him coming out And saying, hey, I ain't rape all y'all I'm suing these seven Because they land But the rest of y'all Y'all got something little truth I don't know Shut out to Bill Cops

Shout out to Bill, man See, it's something in the pudding He's really going through it man And you know what Did you see how old Bill? Does he really think he'd give a fuck? I don't I really think

Bill probably like Tide to the bitch is that long They just got off the bill I really don't think Bill Cosby expected to live that long Bill probably got all... If he had all time, he might, you know,

10 on his cell because he might go back at time. Like, damn, Dick Cassandra, did Cassandra wake up? You remember when Bill Cosby first started getting accused? When?

Like, when, like, last year and when they first started bringing all the allegations out, he was like, he was looking for anything to be wrong with him. Like, is my heart still working? But he was perfectly healthy.

Like, he really thought he was going to be like a sick old man. And it was going to die before it made it to the... But you know what I think, like, now that everything started coming up, do you think he gave a little bill of that pill? You know what? The more you look at Bill Cosby now, like the guiltier he looked.

Like you watch an old episode of the Cosby show, it don't matter what you see him doing. You see him eating the sandwich. You're like, yeah, he did that shit. Look at the way he did that salmon. I saw one episode he had a headache. He took a pill out. Like, yep, he did that.

Look how he swallowed that pill with no water. He did that. He been doing it. Everything you see Bill Cosby did. And he always had the answers. He did. Listen to me because. And you know the crazy part?

The women who accused him said he ain't even asked for it. He just stole it. Nine times out of ten, they're probably going to get it. I mean, it's Bill Cosby. It was, it was, it's like the infatuation of you, you get something that you probably not supposed to get. Oh, man. I really hate to see that.

Because it's like, we don't have no black heroes left. Nobody good. Ain't took Bill. Bill Cosby. Bill was that guy back in the day. It was like, oh, Mr. Cosby, and now he didn't rate 50. Cousbitt taught me how to read a little bit. You remember he had the show with the pen?

Mm-hmm. Bebe, beep, beep, beep, beep. That was the coolest shit ever. I used to watch a little Bill, too. Fat Alba. Come on, man. He made all that. Bill Cosbitt taught me how to recognize when somebody getting abused at home.

You don't remember the episode? Now Bill Cosby is teaching people how to make my list. Man. Hey, man. I can't be in here with you. I'm dying last. And that's your dumb ass. This shit is ruining my life.

You got any personal news you want to drop today? Any promo? Oh, man, you know stand-ups on the way the movies and Mars Christmas drop. What made you want to get into some stand-up comedy? You already famous. It's fun, man. It's just getting on stand when you can actually talk shit,

you know what I'm saying? And just, you know how it is. When you can talk shit and they laugh about it, but you're really telling the truth. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, they think you playing, like, nah, I'm telling the truth. You know what I'm saying?

So it's just fun, just relieving your stress. You know what I'm saying? That is, that is fun, man. Like, when do you, like, when do you find time to, like, sit there and put your show together? It'd be, like, real-life moments. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, say, for we talking and I say something and everybody just crack up, I just jot it in my note. Like, up.

That joke you got about your mom taking you to church all the time, making you preach. I got a structure it right. I got a couple people who say that. I got a structure it right. That joke funny is here. I got a joke. Said like you got some sense A lot of y'all people don't understand that

So that's more of an older crowd Explain it to him It's um You know Because that joke is so fucking funny It's funny You know what I'm saying Like my mama

She used to make me preach Because my dad was a preacher Right You know what I'm saying So I used to be in the house With a long Like my daddy t-shirt on You know what I'm saying

I have a big chair And I used to sit the family down And I used to fake preach She used to make you do it Yes but I used to really be talking about The house You know what I'm gonna Mama ha

This house is too dirty God I want you to clean it up. But I act like I got it out of the Bible. The Bible says a junkie house. It's not a holy home. Right, right. Stop acting stupid and sad like you got some sense.

Sad like you got. For God. So love the world. Who gay? Man, I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you that it's the funniest shit. You don't understand, man.

You don't understand. I'm talking about, she used to make me see it in the funny. everybody I remember we was at chip play one time and she said I want you to order the food like god want you to order food so I was like okay mom I was like can I get a six piece nugget she said sad like you got some stuff god want me to get a six piece nut with some honey mustard sauce amen oh like love oh like love oh yeah I don't understand, man. Your dad was a pastor for a man.

Man, he was a pastor, man. What's something of the funniest shit you ever seen at church, man? Now, let me tell you. Now, you know my dad was a pastor. Right. So my crack-haired brother used to play the drum. Boy, stop, man. I don't air anything.

Listen to me. Bro, this is a show. Listen to me. My crack-haired brother used to play the drum. He used to leave. The church used to be on Simpson. Right. Called Greater Springfield, Beth Church.

He used to lead, go to the next block just to get some dope. So it'll be time for the choir to start singing. They'll look over and realize they ain't got no drummer. so he had to go to the other stuff We're just going to do this We're just going to The choir It's going to sing

Acapella Until the drama Get in And my brother just come in They all ready to sing He over there One, two, three He geeked up

Hey Hey, I'm done I'm done I'm done with you, man That's how he'd do it Hold on one more How he's doing? Here's that sneak head

I dance at me sing him. Emmanuel. No, I'm saying he just here. One, two, three, ready. Got, get, got, get, got, got, got, got. Oh, man. Oh, man. Boy, you funny as hell, man.

Everybody who tuned in, make sure you watch Wiling Out each and every Wednesday. Make sure you do that on MTV, too, man. Oh, boy. Oh, Mike Epps got a new show coming out. What is called? Uncle Buck. You remember Uncle Buck?

The original Uncle Buck was with John Candy. Remember John Candy? Nope. He's a fat white comedian who died doing cocaine. A lot of them died like that. John Candy was funny as hell. Don't be the funny one. The ones who got on cocaine.

Look at everybody who's on cocaine. Rick Jane, off top. One of the greatest people ever. Yes. Like I said, John Candy. James Belushi. Name somebody who great. Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen. He got caught with coke And laughed about it I'm like damn I really do There's something about that cocaine Though that make you good at stuff Tell you man

I'm kind of glad I didn't Grow up back in the day Cause like if you wasn't doing cocaine You were really lame You got to be snouting powder Right Like it was like hitting the blood Now I'd be like

Man try hit the blank Bro we got some of the best segways ever Speaking of cocaine Mike Epps is also doing a new biopic With the Richard Pride movie He's gonna be Richard Prime, man. Come on, I can't wait to see it.

They've been shooting for about three years. I think they just really officially start shooting, though, right? Somebody do a reference check. I think they just started actually shooting. They've been in the process for me. I just know they've been talking about three years. They got Mike Epps, Eddie Murphy, Oprah Winfrey going to be in there? All in it?

Who was the white lady who was going to be in there too? They got white girl. Who? Kate Hudson in there. She fine? Boy, just thinking. Just saying her name is bad. Kate Hudson.

Who you talk to, Kate Hussein? Ooh, can't listen. What? What? Hey, listen. Ooh. Hey, man. Let's do a drop right quick in the middle of the show.

Let's do it. What they're listening to? It's your boy at D.C. on Fly 85 South am I? Hey, man, it's your little sister's daddy. Carlos Miller. We're in here on the 85 South show. You're a dig. You know what I'm saying?

It's your mama's favorite son-in-law. Oh. Fly. What's up, fool? Who are you falling out right quick, man? This is one of our favorite. sections of the show. Favorite little signal. I'm trying to go to my timeline. You know,

we always check, what's on your timeline? What's pop said? What's on your timeline? What's popping? Who were you, tweaking back? Did you get a DM? Did she sing you them new hoots? Did she sing you them new hoots? Let me see what's popper. I'm gonna read the

Did you sing you them new Okay. Shout out to Cam Newton. That's your partner name. Yeah, I ain't got the number personally, but it's close. He's from the us He from over there about what you're from Yeah I don't know

But he's from the 8 He went to Westlake So that's close enough Shout out to Cam Shout out of Cam doing his thing You know what I'm saying Oh you saw the dude on the Knicks Who had all the jury at the house

He met some holes at the party And let them holes spend the night And they robbed him He played for the Knicks Is something Tell my darn wing What's his name? Who?

Derek Derek Williams Who the hell of Derek? He had met some holes at a party Brought him to the crib That's what was a problem So you gotta make a name How much was $750,000?

$750,000 worth of jewelry. Yeah, they stole $750,000 work for juror. Hey, man, that's too much money to be spent on Jewel anyway. I don't understand why people do that. Why don't you take your shoes? Well, I mean, it's an investment because, you know, the jury, it ain't going to lose the value, so if you don't, you could just go.

It's $750,000 in Jew? Yeah. I know he got some implying on his, on his juror where somebody was trying to. No. So, you know, stuff like that. You got to sell on the street. That's what I'm saying. Because he just, he's a regular baller, you know what I mean?

like he ain't really like famous he spent too much money on jury then to be a regular ball you know he ain't never really expect to have two holes is he on the star of the squad see that just go to show you though just because you got money don't mean you ain't no lame yeah i told you but it but how many how many budget too damn bro how you lead to two people that you don't know just unattended in your house oh you ain't that damn sleeper untended i thought he was like sleep then he woke up and all his stuff brook you ain't gonna let nobody rob you right in front he got blonde dress he's supposed to get robbed. I don't like that picture. I don't like that picture that they used.

All right, Derek, tell me this. If I find out who did it, let me get half of the money back. Nope. I'm not going to do it. I want to know what they look like. They probably look just like him. Look at him, bro. Let me tell you something. I wouldn't need to make no call. You don't got robbed by some chick? Like a chick ever, like, stole something from.

No, but I know stole something from chicks. That's what I'm saying? What? I make a motherfucker feed me something to eat. And get everything on the plate. I ain't going to eat. all of but i know that's about five minutes let me tell you how you do it fellas you make them fix you something to eat tell them to cook take a minute you want you want some water you want ice in it too you know what i'm saying that's about five minutes and 30 seconds get your ramble on bro are you really going to try to get them robbing in sh-no let's flip that get to robble on no we're not

promoting right tell them how to not get robbed since you used to rob people and not tell them what they need to do to not get robbed you don't want to get raw man you know what i said you heard that boy Fugge said, hey, man, I fucking with the pistol in my back pocket. We don't play. All right, bro. You'll get robbed, man. That's the easy. Let me say, that's horrible. Oh, surreal, though, I want all the young dudes who listen and watch

this show. Look, if somebody got that damn pistol in your face, just let just get it up, man. I hate let them hair that life is not a movie. You don't get me one chain. Get up. I ain't give you shit. Look, bro. You can't be doing this, man. Get these fuck what they want.

Right. I adore about my You a doll about your necklace I won't You a doubt about your $100 necklace You remember the Outcast The little drop on the Outcast song The best way to deal with the robber

Is to simply give them what they want Give them what they want And give them extra That's how I sound I don't want a nigga try to rob me Hey bro You can hair this shit man You're stupid

Yo yo yo What's your boy DC on Fly Mr. Fock you mean You're not listening to The 85 South Show Presented by comedy hype Yeah And I'm Carlos, and you listening to the 85 south show.com.

Yeah. If you ever want some exclusive bonus footage and backstage material, go to the 85southshow.com. Yes, sir. 85 southshow.com. 85 south show. Don't get pulled over. 80, 85. Don't get pulled over.

80, 85. Hit the gas on them. 80, 85, I don't go far 80, 85 If you keep going out 8, 85 Better have you some gas 8, 85, so

Merry Christmas And it's Christmas Hey man, this is the Christmas show, man This is a Christmas show Hey man, this is gonna be old This is my Christmas outfit, you like it I ain't even got no Christmas outfit, man It's all good

You get, wait, bro, it's coming I ain't tripping Merry Christmas 85 85, 85, high! Hey! This thing is ancient. Still using yesterday's tech, upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 Carbon,

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Join IHeart Radio and Sarah Spain in celebrating the one-year anniversary of IHeart Women's Sports. With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart of women's sports. In just one year, the network has launched 15 shows and built a community united by passion. Podcasts that amplify the voices of women in sports. Thank you for supporting IHeart women's sports

and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis. Just open the free IHeart app and search IHeard women's sports to listen now. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the Turning, River Road.

In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the young, escaped. Listen to the Turning River Road on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.