The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - The Durham Late Show Roast Session w/ DC Young Fly, Karlous Miller and Chico BEan | Ep. 193

Episode Date: August 2, 2019

On this classic episode, Durham brought everybody out to The Carolina Theater for the laughs. At this wild show, one lady snuck her new born baby in the show, Chico stole a wheelchair, and a 13 year old and his momma get roasted from the balcony all night long. Plus, Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean come up with an all-new TV show idea - Three Baby Daddies on The Couch! You gotta watch DC Young Fly doing his sex blow up doll impersonation! This is the coldest podcast! FOLLOW THE CREW KARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/ DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/ CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/ BILLY SORRELLS - https://www.facebook.com/billysorrells/ FAT AND PAID - https://www.facebook.com/Fatandpaid/ DARREN BRAND - https://www.facebook.com/darrenbigbab... CLAYTON ENGLISH - http://www.claytonenglish.com/ JOE T. NEWMAN - http://www.ayoungplayer.com CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/ LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/ J.O.N - https://www.instagram.com/heeeyj_o_n/ CRIAG GRAVES - https://www.instagram.com/craigshoots23/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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this is The Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.

Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Doorm, are you ready for the show? Say, hell yeah! I need everybody to go on YouTube. Subscribe to the Eddie Five South Show. All social media.

Make sure you follow the Andy Five South Show. You know what you're a witness in tonight? Do you know what you're a witness in tonight? Yes! This is the next Kings of Comedy! Go! Stand up. I need everybody up, Durham. Stand up, Durham. They need to know you ready.

Stand up, Durham. Up top, I need y'all up. Up tap, I need y'all up. Come on, Durham, up top. There you go. I need you all to stand up. The first member of the 85th South show, you see this man on Wild and Out. You see this man touring all over the country. He's out of Washington, D.C. You can see his Nike commercial all over the country. You're giving up for G-O-Vee.

Hell yeah, the next member of the 85 South Show. He's out in the West Side of Atlanta. You see this man on MTV Wild and Out. You seen him as the host on MPVTRL. You seen him in the movie Almost Christmas. And you can see them in theaters right now. And the movie, I've got to hook up, too, but Master Pete. Durham, bring that D.D. Youngblood in the house.

Durham, I'm going to need that energy. The next member of the every lifestyle show, he needs no introduction. But I'm going to give him one anyway. He's out of Atlanta by the way of Mississippi. He is the creator of Bradson's O.G. We're my single lady dead Ladies, he is the coldest in the game right now. Y'all makes a noise.

We got Carlos Miller in the building tonight. If you're ready to get the show started, say, hell yeah. Everybody, get your phones out, take your phones out. You gotta show somebody this. I'm gonna need y'all to get as loud as you can, y'all. Tonight is gonna be a baby. Do them. Start clapping right to fuck down. Start clapping right now. Make as much noise as you can. This is the 85,000 show!

I said Bull City in this bit Oh Bull City ain't in a bit Hey Oh I said Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Up top How to fuck you off there Up top on the third row I go

Oh up top on the third row Hey Oh up top on the third row Roll! Hang on top! On the soil, though! Oh! I see you.

What are you? I said, I see you, girl. Oh, shit. Hold on. What you want? What you want? Oh. Turn on.

Turn on. Turn up. Turn up. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Turn up. Turn up! Turn up! Turn up! Turn up!

Turn up! You're like, You got about your shoulder, ain't like, Hey! It's a girl right? How y'all feel tonight, Durham? How y'all feel tonight, Durham?

Y'all feeling good? Yeah. Now, we need more energy than now. How y'all feel the four-city? Oh! Oh! I like it! I like it. Sit y'all ass down.

Sit y'all cool. She goes. She go. You got to look at your lady Piggerwave, bro. Hold on, here I come. Here I come. I'm coming.

This shit looks like corner holder. I got to see it. Let me see that shit. Put a whole bunch of change. Put a whole bunch of change in her head. A whole bunch of... Hey. They made...

They made figure waves. That's what you're going. hold your keys on right there she got a bunch of keys good he got a quarter collect on her head no lord I don't want to have no shit like that before he never seen no shit like that house style her damn self what's got a whole bunch of change out here big man fuck him with a big man in that seat like they should have got another seat for me like this shit oh oh I lick your whole arm right now I lick your whole You better not. You better not. Oh, get your hands up.

Hey, Carlos, you know this nigga, gang, so he got on Frankie, Beverly and May's Essus Festival shorts. This thing, I don't know. That thing I don't know. Wade cap with no house. Stupid-ass, huh? That nigga got dandrum. Oh, that's let it deliver the popcorn.

There we go. Who wheelchairs this? The nigga left it? Oh, that's your wheelchair. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my bad. I thought, my bad, I thought the nigger left they will. the nigga left in wheelchair. I'm about to say shit, what fuck?

Oh, my boy. Oh, he gone. Roll his hand down. Go, go, go, go, nigga, go! You gotta be like a bobsled, you gotta push. Nick, if I let your ass go, you're gonna crash it to the stage. Your head better stop playing, sir. How you're going reverse? You gotta back up with your hands, stupid-ass, nigga. Nicky this is an incline that's gonna require a real push

Hey time on how you gonna remember remember on players club when they were rolling that nigga in the shoot the club Do something to make me feel better Yeah, we all up in this bitch Real game oh wait a minute hold up Hey wheelchair, nigga you don't want no smoke what you want to do? Oh You don't want no dance battle in the wheelchair Y'all, nigga, race, race! Oh, beat it.

Alright, come on, come on. I got it, I got it. That nigga can't Popper Willie, though. That nigga can't Popper Willie, though. Hold up, nigga, if you fall, that's on you. You ready? Here we go. Popper Willie.

That nigga must be heavy up top. Turn it up on your ass. Oh, flip. What? Ugh. Don't let a whoop you, nigga. Come. Dance, mika.

I got your heart. Ha! Ah. Ah. Smok. They're going to want those smoke, chico. Let's push on. Let's push on.

My God. With your pop on. We hit this bitch. You ain't never say no, niggas still a wheelchair before. What's up, boy? If you don't get your smock guy looking at that's out of here, who the hell you in here with? That, nigger, 9.

Boy, we do you look like Spike Lee. Boy, you look like you're supposed to be on grownish. Get your ass out of here, boy. This nigga, know all the chemistry. Hey, what's up? We're on the roll in this bitch. We're on the roll in this bitch. Say what?

Hey, I'm on the roll in this bitch. I'm on the roll in this bitch. Watch this goddamn spin. Watch this spin. Ooh. What's on, nigger? Ah, I mean. Up top.

Up top. Ah. Let that thing go roll back. Let that thing go get your roll on. She's go get your roll on. You had better stop playing. She got racing ties. She got...

Hold on, hold up, hold up, stop the music. Stop the music. Time out. Time out. You didn't brought the baby in here. You got the baby in here. You got the got-in' baby in here. She ain't her breastfeeding.

And the niggas smiling too. We had a goof-ass. This little snagg-a-toothed. What's up, little baby? Look. He's a breastbeam and some more pants. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hey. Scoo. Oh, shit. Scoo. Scoo. Hey, this is stupid. God.

Damn. Scoo. You. I need help. Code 9. What happened? Emergency. What happened?

This ass is tucking me under. What happened? I need help. What happened? This ass is sucking me in. Oh, God. Ah! Help!

Oh my God. Is that your mama? Oh, man. How you doing? You ain't know your mama. That's how you got there. My ass, ma'am. Look at this.

That is ass-ass, ass. ass, ass. I smell like booty. When you can put a hat on that ass. That is a lot of ass. We live. She got to get in the bed head first. That's her son right there.

That's her son. That's her son. That boy gonna grow up and work at Target. You're good. You ain't never seen your mama throw it back like that, have you? Well, welcome to the 85 South Show. We fought mama. Look at Mama.

school bus driver ass y'all too goddamn freaky up in bull city bull city freaky's hell i ain't know y'all just got damn freaking we got bomb molly here what's up what i'm gonna leave your mama long before i be over your house player madden with you to bar oh what's up jee how you know all the kids spoke with you i fuck with you but your dreams man let that shit go No.

That man ain't dreary. Them twist, they're gonna unravel in the morning. Boy, that shit's short in a bit. You need rubber bands on them stupid-a-boh. That name got a hand full of unwraught. Hershey kisses in this shit. What's up? What's up?

What's up? Huh? Oh, shit. What's up? Y'all going together? All the time. Y'all ain't got kids because you got Wi-Fi. They married.

Y'all married? How long? Since October. He said a year. Since October. That's not a year. That's for a couple months. They're lying. They're lying.

Think of you been bad about somebody stupid I already. You're talking about a year. Why you're moving fast and for? Yeah. Hey, third row, I wish I could come up there, but I wouldn't get up there till Sunday. Y'all are a little further up. I want to come fuck with y'all, but this theater too old.

This theater too old. I don't even know how to get to the third row. I don't know, I don't know. I don't even know how to get to the third. Your teeth is popping out, fam. Bro, I don't know. I don't know. You probably got to take the steps of the elevator.

You probably got to take the steps out of the aisle. My boy, Big. My boy, Big. Sing that shit, bro. Oh, my boy, Big. Big, what's your name, Big? Corey. Cory got his bill on his belly.

Cory. Cory. What's you do for a living, Cory? He's working IT. You work well? In IT. And IT? That nitty said he worked at IT.

What you do? I do it. What's the fuck? It is. Like technical shit. Got it. So you sit out and out. No, no.

No. No. No. Much of love, all the ladies who ain't got on no panace tonight. Be careful, this Carolina theater, oh, your pussy gonna catch a goddamn sinus infection if you touch to each chair. So goddamn, look at the people up there. Y'all can't even see the show. What's up to my niggins standing up right there with the peat shirt on? Your number 256.

What's up, bro? Boy, it looks like you got four tits under your shirt. That thing got exactly four tits. What is wrong with that niggins? You got two titties on your stomach. You must be from the fifth element. That thing, you got, like a pit bull. We got the KFC man back here in the Jensen.

Oh, the colonel. How long you been up here? How long you been usher? Three years? Three years. Is it many niggas you seen this? Is the many niggas you seen this in this building? That thing in the back, he like, fuck that.

Do not put me in the front, put me in the back? If anything, what the pop-out? I'm out of here, buddy. I will not be saving nobody life. Ooh, he got three little wrinkles. Gr-ha-ha-ha-ha. I got a coozy back now. That one can't sit around.

No sex offender. Boyd City, how y'all feel, man? Welcome to the 35 South Show, man. What's up, Bull City? That's what we like to see. You know we got to come out there and fuck with everybody. Right dude right in the front. What's going on? Who you in here with? That's your girl? That's your wife. She got that Pocahontas best home. Show on, bitch.

Sean, get up, Sean. That shit is nice. Let them see that shit. Look at that boy. You dressed like you in Houdini. I used to do downtown. That's cool. He's a barber. He got trumpets on there. Oh, yeah. Houdini is. The freaks come out of nothing. You a barber? He ain't got no customers. Oh, God. You want to cut? Okay. That nigga looked like John B. don't listen to what people say they don't know about about you and me yeah that bubble coat you stupid in here where you meet her in bro you meet your wife at the barbershop she got a little fade right here where that was before she could

live for real y'all swipe right on each other what the hair y'all met at what y'all meet at what y'all meet Online. Online. Like social media or one of the dating site? A white boy chain before a little. Oh, for real. Years ago. They probably met on Black Planet.

You weren't supposed to be on that motherfucker. You're cheating. He's like, I'm gonna get a Black Planet page. These white girls are just assholes, so... Who paid for the ticket? Who paid for the ticket? He did. It's his father's day.

Damn, that's how hard it is to be a father. You don't get your gift till July. I bet you late. I bet you late. Daddy. You is late, mate, bitch. You is late. Because you imagine if you tried to give you your Mother's Day gift in Motherfucking July, you gave what to him? Some more pussies that he had before? Yeah. That's how, look at the ladies, like, that's good enough of a gift. No the fuck it ain't.

I can't come in on Mother's Day with just some dick. You're going to be like, well, where's the rest of it? What is this, shit, fucking? Y'all in them little bad ass seats, y'all got stoos. Okay, look like this. Farned. God damn. Death jam booths. I like...

I like Bull City. What's that with timeout? Time out loads. I don't know if you have dumped. Boy, you know if we in the... of the Bull City. We got people that can bought their babies, their sons. Fuck that. I don't give a fuck.

It's a lady. Hold on. Hold on. I want to know how she snubbed parents security with your baby. They might thought it was her titty. No. You know what? She had the baby in one of the big bags like y'all sneaks in the movies. She has, don't want my bag.

She had the baby in the fainted bag. They're going to get on starting crying. Nah, he ain't going to cry. He's got damn people! He's sucking a titty watching a portable DVD player under a blanket. He got his headphones on and everything. That nigga on hit. Now what we're saying right now.

You know what he is here right now? Bub, bubble, got, got, got beans. Bubba, bab, bab, bab, bab, got, got beans. He don't hear nothing. That shit gangsters, salute. We don't give a dab. I like it. Shout out to all the niggas that just got out of prison.

This is your first summer free. Literally, like, you've been on for two weeks, bitch. You got two boxes. We know y'all need to, hell. Two boxes with a pair of socks. Like to do that. He got the rass right here. He don't know where y' out.

Yeah, still watching the bitches in the bathroom sink, hanging them up. You can stop eating noodles, too, nigga, you're home, all right? No, no, no, let me put you a spread together. Brother, give me the noodles, some Cheetos, some cheese. I did nobody eating that shit, nigga. We are free. I'm not about to eat a spread.

I got to get one more shout out. Shout out to all the ladies that broke up with a nigga, but he ain't moved out yet. Oh, my God. Still in that bitch. Slan down right now. That nigga at the house right now. Your mama thinks she could just stay out all goddamn night. I ain't even told out with babysit.

Man, man, bring me that other control at your room. My mama said you're not supposed to be here. Hey, this, that's the classic way of a nigga who won't pay no bill to be laying on the counter. This nigga just laying nothing like that. That nigga ain't got nowhere to go. He relaxed in a motherfucker. He wanna leave.

He wanna leave. They gotta leave. Can't do it. Every time you go to the door, you realize he ain't got no car. Yep. You gotta play this nigga game again. There's a lot of niggas out here fucking for shelters. Salute to all of y'all.

She ain't figured it out yet, but she figured out. I couldn't be them niggas, bro. They are one argument away from being homeless. Yep. They gotta agree with the bitch every time. Alright, I keep fucking up. You're right. She could be talking to you like a little boy.

I know it ain't no dishes in the motherfucking sink. I got it. You right? You right. It's some real as ladies out here who fuck with Brooklyn Nags. Who let a nigga take you on a date with your money? Ah! I got you, baby. I got you.

That nigga paid for that food with that $80 you gave him this morning. At least he tried, though. He tried. It ain't even his money. It's actually just you. change. It's changed from a bill he was supposed to pay. She don't know he ain't paid it yet. The energy grade hits you with that tape. She's laughing too hard. She didn't have been through this shit. Is that your son with you right there sitting in the booth? God damn. Nigel, we are positive black role models. You know what? We need to start a daycare this bitch. That's what we need. Right, the 85 South show daycare. Got a whole class full

of kids. Yep, so live. Would it be your first lesson you would teach your daycare DC? You 13. If you don't get your young ass to fuck out of head, but fuck wrong with you. Look, head, that boy, you ass, but what? You want some pussy bad at hair, but you're scared to show your dick, ugly, boy, won your ass. That nigga sat the fuck down.

You're right, you're right. That nigga said, I ain't no little kid. I'm 13. Don't get your young ass out of here, nigga. You don't have no real man, man. You know, you're 13. You know, you 13. putting condoms on for fun. I put one on. I fit it. I fit it. I do. I fit it.

It slipped out one time, but I fit it. I fucked two of them up, but that third track, got that bitch. Now I can't get it off. Hey, I said that shit, boy, that thing was like, but he owns himself, right? He on the son. Mama, boy, her son ain't here. That man, that's punishment. That's really a punishment when a black mama bring their kids to the show, because mama right here, this shook her ass on me and DC. That nigga is in trouble. What did you do? She was like, don't worry about it. You can go outside. Go and play with your little friends. I got something for your ass.

85 South Show coming. I'm going to make you realize you're going to fuck up ground in this house. Watch this. On that wagon. He don't even hurt right now. As soon as he gets to talking small, but you're at the show shaking your ass. And so the fuck what.

Big old ass, just ass, ass, ass, ass. Hell, yeah, big old dumb ass. That's a big, dumb ass. Did you see it? Yeah, it was, yeah. Big old stupid ass. You know that ass dropped out in the 10th grade. That's just some dumbass ass.

Don't even know his last name type of ass. Just stupid ass. I feel, you know, you're a single mother. I, man, salute to all the single moms in the builder, man. Love y'all. Hey, I feel your man. No, fuck that. What the dad is at?

All the dad is left. What the fuck the dad is at? That's taking care. Shout out to the baby daddy. You take care of your kids, though, nigger. Shut out to all the kids, Real niggas who was taking care of the kids, but she put your own child support because you got a new bitch. Nigger was doing everything.

Fucked around and found somebody to be with. Now you got a court date. It's fucked up. I feel your pain, no, Lord, man. I was raised by a single mama. Look, mama, real quick. Just a piece of advice to help your son's life go a little bit better. When you let them niggas come over there that you fucking with, make them be friends with them before you let them fuck, man.

That's very important. These niggis used to come fuck my mama and walk right past me. Every time, nigga. Every time, my mom, that's my oldest boy right there. What's up, little man? We'll be at, downstairs. They go downstairs. I hear motherfucking keep sweat playing.

I'm like, oh, my God. Make it last forever, no, but make it hurry up. Then get this nigga to fuck out the house. Yeah, and, uh. What's the whole time about? Exactly, I know. Look at my man, stop, fuck, hey. Make them niggas bring him some Jordan shoe strings and something to the house.

Hey, when he walk around the house and he's wrong, go in the room and steal some money out of their pants. Huh? He's that game of PlayStation? Oh, you know, that guy got some pussy ball PlayStation. That's fucked up. Hey, little dude, the next time somebody come over there and then walk up to him and be like, hey, bro,

you ain't gonna be up here fucking my mom. Right. Unless you got some games. No disrespect, though, little man. As a single, as a man that was raised by a single, Mama, if your mama got a nigga to get you a PlayStation, that pussy is superb. You blessed. You blessed. Hold up. What kind of PlayStation? Is it a new one or a reverberous one? It's a PS4. That is a PS4. Can you imagine you get some pussy so good

that you had walled my life? I'm gonna get that blood PlayStation. That pussy is ripping, boy. Hold up, no. What kind of, what kind of PlayStation is? Is it new or refurbish? PlayStation 3. That pussy is trans. That pussy is trans. That pussy is trans. That nigga was in there like, give me the cheapest shit you got. I got to go over there with something. Give me something. Just give me a Nintendo.

I got to go over there with something. The niggas just want to be in front of a TV. Give me something. This nigga can't even play new games. Bro, they're so fucked up. I'm mad as fuck. So when I fuck you, mom, I'm going to get you a PlayStation 4.

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be

told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of family secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember Vine? It changed the internet forever. and it vanished in its prime. I'm Benedict Townsend, and this is Vine, six seconds that changed the world. The untold story of genius, betrayal, and the app that died so that TikTok could thrive.

From overnight stars to the fall that no one saw coming, we're breaking down what made Vine iconic. Listen to Vine on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If a baby is giggling in the back seat, they're probably happy. If a baby is crying in the back seat, they're probably hungry.

But if a baby is sleeping in the back seat, will you remember they're even there? When you're distracted, stressed, or not usually the one who drives them, the chances of forgetting them in the back seat are much higher. It can happen to anyone. Parked cars get hot fast and can be deadly. So get in the habit of checking the back seat when you leave.

A message from NHTSA and the ad council. When I fuck you, Mama. And the Crave the bar and she got up like that pistol was good. Turn that on. Stop. Don't even contribute to that. We were about to get into it.

But now that prayer. Chuck it. Hit it. When I fuck your mama. You're going to get a new. When I fuck your mama. When you're making I'm dead. When I fuck your mama.

You can get an ass box. I'm going to fuck. When I fuck your mama. new game system all in your room uh how many games you want uh how many controls you want i said uh how many games you want to find a uh i make control if you want when i fuck your mama games you want All of the niggins that's gonna fuck I'm in control as you want

All of the niggins that's gonna fuck How many games you want? All of the niggins that's going to fuck I'm in a troll as you want Hey Wait I'm fuck your mom What you want?

That's a hit Stop, stop Stop, stop, stop, stop Laugh I'm in the game you won't Lachable I've been controlling you won Supreme song

I mean anything you want Real Serial I'm in control as you oh Okay When I fucking my fucking my Team Joyce. I'm talking about that hairy pussy. Yeah.

That's enough. Matter of fact, stop. Like, game stop. Oh. Okay. Good job. Shit. That little boy, listen, when the baby grow up,

he ain't going to even know he was a part of this shit. He's going to be somewhere watching YouTube. And he's going to be like, oh, what's this? The 80s and stuff show. People talk about when I fuck your mama. Yeah. When I fuck give my armor What I tell you?

Just a little move I like to call I'm about to come Now that baby knows exactly what's going on You see he don't switch titty You see that? That nigga looked up at the show and went to the other tip. This is bullshit. There's no more milk in this one, mommy

Boy, that's crazy. That shit crazy. She got up like she did. He got a place for shit. Three. He can't even play the new game. This nigga they're playing Crash Bandicoot. You like, man, that shit ain't even new, my nigga.

He's thinking he didn't put you on some new shit. Hey, man, you want to play Game Day 98? No. Nigger playing Donkey Cold, nigga. He got them in there with one controller. That's fucked up. And the bitch got a cord on it, so he can't even walk away from the game. Hold up, pause.

Snatched the whole goddamn TV there. It's all good, bro. Go crazy with your PS3. Hell yeah. There you go. Oh, look, you got two controllers and you play Maddie? Well, you know what that nigga did. That nigga went to game stop and got that.

Yeah, let me get that used PS3 with both controllers in two games. How much is that going to be $38? He got the refurbish. 38 bucks. I made a quick deal. You deserve better than that, bro. We're going to see about. We're going to have to get you on regular PlayStation.

You know what? I'm going to get you something better than a PS4. Hey, what's up, man? People have been asking me, what is the website that I can go? to make bets online and I'm telling you it's my bookie yeah that's M-Y B-O-O-K I-E that's the site to hit I'm telling you bro post a link so they can know where to go to they have live in-game bedding and they will match your first deposit 100% up to a thousand dollars flip your money right out the gate and for

all your fantasy players listen you can even bet the over under on how many points your fantasy player will score come on now get in the game use our promo code 85 South and get your first deposit match a hundred percent up to a thousand dollars tell him carlos sent you when you get there promo code 85 south we'll see you guys later because you're gonna get it a father he can take it on the run i thought she was about to say i'm gonna get yourself better than the ps4 we'll get you a father i'm gonna be your dad you're fuck out of here no i'm not gonna be your dad my nigger you too old already you know what we might fuck around

This nigga, goddabble up on a nigga at the house. And you can't beat the shit out of him because he ain't your son. You're going to jail for real. You fuck him up. I beat your aunt, sir. All right, come on that, little nigga. Then he fuck around and do it. Now, you can't fuck for the mama or him no more.

This little nigga here hard to the motherfucker at 13. Yeah, yeah. He knows how the arm rustle real good. Can you walk around doing this? Oh, man. So that little part, right, that real tight, real tight. He's gonna start cram before the fight start. I'm just safe.

No. That's what happened, bro. When you bring your kids to the show? Ain't no telling what we might say. We treat y'all like family. We're all family. Welcome! These black people are in Durham.

This goddamn city so kid old, nigger. They ain't shit, they ain't never heard. This Durham, the Bull City. First time I ever met some motherfuckers in Bull City, they were running. I said, that is a gang right there. What that means, Chico? That means Bull City. Bull City. Yeah, and then you you think it would be the niggas, but the women do it harder than the niggins do.

Look at that. You always start shit. I don't get no fuck. What you say? Hold on, wait a minute. I love him gang some shit. What you say, nigga? So goddamn.

You fuck I thought, nigger. Fuck I thought, d'all right with you, d'etka. I want to hear what you. I want to hear what he said. What'd you say? Everything, nigga. What do you say? What do you say?

He didn't say shit. He tried to whisper it. I didn't say anything. Hold up. What? Nigger, your car can start. Stupid-ass, boy. That was it took us so long.

But you're trying to crank it. Ugly, Nick. Fuck wrong with you. And how dare you talk shit from the goddamn Groupon seats, nigger? The fuck you took you so long. That's what you need to be asking. If it ain't take you so long, you'll be down here with the regular motherfuckers.

What the fuck took you so long? They ain't got no bathroom on that section. Ugly, boy. You need to tell me as a grown-ass nigga mad because of what time the show started? Right. What is making these niggas at? What the fuck took you all so long?

My feet hurt on time. She'll be wearing church shoes, stupid-ass. What y'all did start on time? My pussy hurt now. I could have still been in the hell playing the game. I'm cramping this shit. I wanted to start on time. My seat in the back, I still can't see. What's sake? Can he hear that shit?

Nick, boys travel. What? Shut up, nigga. I'm mad, man. You ain't tough. What type of nigger go to the comedy show and start some shit? Not a tough, nigger. That nigger.

ticklish. That nigga ticklish and weird spots up right here. Stupid. Fuck around that nigga be like, starve. Stop. Stop. No, I'm just saying. Why y'all stop so late, stupid age?

He said it loud. And when we say what? He tried to quiet down. No, fuck y'all. His girl said it besides. He said, fuck y'all, why y'all star so late. That was really her thought. She made him say that shit.

Go here. Go ahead. Now. Nobody get it, fuck you too. Fuck you man. A tennie sagging. Dude, it look like elbows. She can take her shirt off

and wave her titty around her head like a helicopter. Stop! Pablo Titty, haven't that? She ain't even put no ground. She just tucked them in her belt. Bill. Titty-took, titty-took, titty-took. What's that plan? No, we not.

Fuck out. No, it was taking a long time to get the other niggas out. That's what it started. We had like 800,000 pictures, bro. We're a real nigga, bro. We're going to sit in and take a picture, we're going to be like, hold up. We got another show.

We had to take pictures with the last boat. So they're like, y'all, we're going to make a picture. y'all we're gonna see you straight unless you got a ticket I obviously not so I think a picture bleary hand with that android yep I was just terrible appreciate you coming out though my nigga we wasn't goddamn we was back there trying to get no pictures and shit though you know we ain't booze bro we ain't like me back there with our leg grown man we ain't apologizing for that shit this niggas in here y'all act like y'all come on time the shit. Let you come to

late. You come to work late and it ain't the supervisor that see you come in and somebody say you late. Damn, bro. What took you so long? Man, you'll shut your motherfucking ass up. Boy, you don't right. Shit after you got a damn job, bud. Fuck you talking about that when I don't fuck with y'all like that. Don't worry about what the fourth time I came to work.

Nigger, I'm doing my motherfucking job. Don't say shit to me. For the rest of the motherfucking day, man. I come to this motherfucker. You ain't say that shit when I stayed the fire yesterday. Goof-ha-ha-ha-nig. I always, but be call to me. Hey, can you come here? I ain't helping shit. Lose my motherfucking number. Since y'all want to worry about what time I'm

motherfuckin' work, I stay 30 minutes of extra every goddamn day. Off the motherfucking clock. Don't even come by me. Don't say shit to me. Do your shit. I'm going to do my shit. Have a nice motherfucking day. I just got one thing. I just want to know who the fuck he's talking to. Hey, hold on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'll take care of this. Excuse me, Mr. Miller. Well, I see you're a little upset about me making a comment about you being late. But what I want you to know is this is your third write-up.

Motherfucker, you can't write me up. You ain't the motherfucker who write-up, you ain't the nigga that hired me. You know who my-man? I don't have no motherfucking boss. Frank ain't here. Assistant manager. You can't find shit. You can ask me to clock out.

And guess what I'm going to tell you? Kiss my ass. Fuck you in this job. I leave it, bitch. Fuck, Andy. You look at it. You better get your point. Little niggins be trying to keep their jobs.

Whole time, as soon as the supervisor come in. Mr. Mark, can I talk to you for a second? Me? Yeah, come here for a second. Yeah, here they go with this book shit. I'm not a racist or anything. I'm not a racist. I'm not a racist.

I'm not a racist. That Carlos Miller guy, he's very aggressive. Listen, when he came in, right, he came in late. He came in. 45 minutes. That motherfucker line. I wasn't late.

That's what I'm talking about, lying. I ought to whip your ass a line on me and this motherfucker. Don't do it. Don't do it, Joe. Think about your family. Think about your family. My family right there. That's my little boy and my girl right there.

I brought them to work with me. Stand up. Stand up right down. You're lucky my little boy. Sleepey shit at you, boy. Think about your family. Listen. That's what you were saying, sir.

He's very aggressive. And I don't want to have to call the authorities. So if you could just handle his attitude. It would be very easy. Call. Call him. Call him. Call him. I want you to call. No, don't call. Hey, bro. Hold on. See, now you're about to pick me on. Don't call him. Because I got weed in this motherfucker. You did what I'm saying?

So I'm gonna leave you to come. All that shit down. I'm bringing you here. You get hip. You get him. I just don't feel safe here. You don't feel safe. You're not. You're safe. You're not going to do none to you. We had a gross. It ain't safe. I'll bust your motherfucking shit. I bust your shit. I'll bust your shit. You might well fight. You might a well fight. You might a well fight. Bust your whole shit, boy.

See, I'm that type of nigga, uh-uh. I'm a supervising that y'all fight. Fuck it then, move, fight. Somebody gonna get knocked the fuck out. Go ahead. Cause I'm thinking this shit, go ahead. You know what it's next after that. Oh, so y'all team, Hello, Corporate?

Hey, how are you guys doing? My name is Bob. I worked downstairs. I ain't never had a job. At the CVS. Yeah, at the CVS. You didn't have a job. Never. That's a job.

I had a job. They used to hate on me when I used to try to do overtime all the time All the time. I never understood it. Why would they hate on you? I don't know. All because we only get four hours. So the overtime gets four. So I used to be like, excuse me, can I get my overtime?

So she let me do it one time. I come back to neck and I said, I want my overtime. She let me do it again. I come at the neck and she's like, no, sir. We got to let everybody take turns. I say, bitch, take turns. Fight for anybody about taking turns, bitch. I need this job.

So we used to go across the street. So we started going across the street, I just duck back off on. Look back off on her and start parking car. Fuck that. Here we go. Got my overtime. You stole some overtime.

I stole some overtime. I stole like eight hours. Man, having a job is, no. I used to work at Whole Foods. Whole Foods Market where all the white people come and shop after they gentrify your neighborhood. That's where they come. Dude, you worked at Whole Foods?

I worked at Whole Foods as a bag. I used to bag. I used to bag groceries at Whole Foods. And listen, white people have been spending $500 on grocery since 2000. True story. Their motherfuckers come in and buy some shit. They got some shit called 365. It's their brand. And they sell

like, it's like great value, but for some reason, white people buy you it more than great value so they get to charge extra money for this shit. So white people used to, I never forget, this white man came through and spent $600. I bagged all that shit. Then we had water these big cases of water outside with

six gallons of water and this nigga got 15 cases. I loaded all of them bitches into the back his truck. He said, thanks for your help, and flick me a quarter. Nick, I was like, oh, this, I would have done this shit like a plague. This nigga must think it's the 20s. He just gave me a fucking quarter. Nigger, after that, I was like, ooh, I'm still in now. We about to have 365 shit at my house. Hold up. So you said, I'm still at all, nigga. Boy, I'm talking about real tuna,

nigga. Me and my family, they ate real nice for me working at whole foods. After that that nigga gave me that quarter. Yeah, y'all got some flank steaks. I'll take two. Man, he ended up buying all that shit. Man, listen. By himself? Oh, the white people, that's what they do. No, he was doing human trafficking. What you say, baby?

They chicken salad is the mom? What chicken salad is the mom? You fuck with a nigga working Whole Foods. That's what it is. Nigger your mom in the gay that pussy up with some chicken salad. That nigga came... Don't say nothing else about his mom. He's going through a lot of them.

Whatever. I went through the same thing. Niggas used to fuck with my mom. My mom was freaky. I don't give a fuck. I want somebody to fuck my mom. I want somebody to fuck my mom. He was lonely. For real.

Listen, if you were single, if you were single mom in here, you deserve some dick from time and time. I can't believe I was a little hating ass nigger that used to stand in the way of my mama's blessings like that being a bad ass little boy. That's what you supposed to do. Because now I know that as a grown man who fuck with single mothers, how much joy you bring to the house when you bring some good dick through there and make the whole house better. She's going to give you some extra piece of nigger. you can stay up, fucking round to come to the 85 South Show, nigger, fuck your mama, right. Can't just allow air, a nigga, in your house.

Some of the niggas stink. Most of them niggas stink. What's your name, B-Man? Montana? That ain't your goddamn name. You nigger said Montana. That's your rap name. Which on your birth certificate, nigga?

Nika, four CD in the backpack. Yep, okay. Three of all right here. Do you rap? Well, how you get the name Montana? He's a street nigger. Oh, I play Spades, big. You got all gold teeth.

You know he is not to be fucked with. He goes from neighborhood to neighborhood. I'm trying to run the game. Professional card play. Montana. What's up, man. I didn't go to the casino. Everybody got my own dick.

Hey, what's the name of that chicken place in Durham? Everybody fuck with. Chicken hut? Chicken hut. Chicken hut. Ain't it turkey hut? Nah, it's chicken hut. It's chicken hut, right?

one of it's a damn hood what's the best what's the best it's another place that's we're churches bitch that's air well with so stupid ass churches they got biscuits and like me it's it's good I bet your stomach fucked up right now you've been some churches if it's churches like it's yellow it's outside and it's like a church but it don't be like no gospel going on like churches you eat churches that chicken is on perkinses. Ain't nowhere in the world you can eat no turkey. I love church. You have a boy to church. They can get a

19 piece for $3. You're like, nah, I'm good on that. I don't want that church. Church is so goddamn long. I bid a chicken leg. I couldn't even bite through the bitch. Just a bunch of grease spilled out and burnt my chin. You know that you're just chicken too greasy when the box wet as soon as

they give it to you. You're like, you pick your chicken up. Your chicken is fall through the bottom of the box. You're like, I don't want this no more. It's on the counter. I can't believe she said fucking church. I love churches, ma'am, I'm with you. I just hate when they try to give you them burn-ass biscuits. And you try to get them back and they be like, what? I'm like, bitch, no biscuits look like Michael Blacksie, bitch.

I want some mold. What do you say? Silver spoon? Who silver? She didn't name it all the shit by her house now. I got an app mattress. It's they float, too. I got a key size

that lady up there lit she's been sneaking and tracking since she got up here oh y'all man this is a bonding moment for y'all this is you gonna remember this forever this is lit the rest of your life she got her song with her like everywhere he was with you we got baptized too oh you know She'd be having that nigga, Ashley Stewart, sitting down watching her shop. You like this, baby. Yeah, they got the halter tops on sale. I think I'm gonna get the other one, though.

Oh, top. Where the ladies at, the single ladies who live by themselves? Yeah. Somebody lying. No real thing. And you're looking for somebody. You're stressful, bitch. You're stressing right now.

Where you at? They ain't in here. They're acting. damn scripts, go back home. Nobody want to talk. Go home and put that old lady house coat on. All her clothes on, bitch, you put on the band,

bro. He's depressed. Ladies, why y'all act like y'all don't be one in the fuck as much as we do? No way y'all do. Not you, Mama. We know what you are. You are the exception. You are fucking. We know that. But that's the thing, ladies. Let me tell you something.

And this is just my opinion. But do you know you don't know shit more about a man before you let him fuck than you will after you let him fuck like because he ain't showing you who he truly is until he fuck look at y'all like really yes that nigga don't show you who he really is because he can't if he told

you what the truth was when you meet him like hey what is your intentions with me uh trying to buy a PlayStation 3 what the fuck you think is going on you're gonna get mad and kick the nigga out but y'all be wondering because ladies y'all see a man and know whether not you would give him some pussy within the first five minutes of you

Not even that long. You look at his face, look at his shoes. Shoes, clean, teeth straight. Okay, he could get some pussy. Now we got to audition for the shit for the next six months. WB. That's what you got to do.

You got to turn to the WB frog. The WB. You got to act like you care about all that shit that she be hitting you. Look at that nigga. Man, he's going through it right now. You didn't have to buy it. That nigga stood up.

Tell me the truth. We'd be knowing y'all to be wanting it, ladies. y'all just got to come out your shell a little bit you'll learn a lot what if you wait for all that time and then you go to fuck and the nigga can't fuck that ever happened to you don't you be mad well let's just eliminate the bullshit

get straight to it look at her she laughing so hard that shit must have just happened to her last night you didn't wait at all that went to that fucking red lobster four times y'all didn't went to see the lion king last night you thought it was gonna finally get oh he could deserve some pussy now he took me to see mufazza died

and he pulled that dick out that bitch looked like the salt and pepper shaker and now you don't want to be with him no more but he don't want to leave you now it's a lot of bad pussy on the streets won't nobody to talk about uh-huh could have coochie mic could be stank now that did just he don't get up who nope going back down you ever had some pussy that just wasn't good yes that shit was dry it was just like why you keep spinning on it I'm like bitch you know why that terrible pussy that break the condo you like god damn yep you like pah you like yep that wasn't me that was you that time joe w ladies the niggas fake it too fellas you ever had to fake it to get up out of there

ooh that'd be cool you had to fake that nuts ah ah ha ha all right I hate when you fake it next to year trying to keep going he'd be like this bitch this nice what about the ladies that can't ride dick Oh, God. Listen, it's really in your legs, ladies. Your legs give out after the first... You acting like you can ready to do something. I'm going to get on my feet. Ha, ha. Oh, shit, hold on.

Wait, wait. Uh, it's my leg. Now you're in there like this. That shit don't feel good. What the fuck is you doing? She ran dick like she's scooting the chill. That thing is stupid. That feels horrible.

What is some terrible pussy out there, man? It is. They be kind of made it seem like it ain't. It is. Sometimes that cooge don't even want to open. I'm trying to stick that dick in. He'd be like, no! Nobody's been in here in years.

Got here. You see a little hand. Oh my God. Chico, would you have a bastard pussy? You say what? Would you have a bastard pussy? We all about pussy. Good catch.

We all about pussy. Time is money. I'm talking about. Like, I can't do it directly for consumer. No, I can't do it that way. Take this, give me my pussy. What bad? I'm bad.

I'm good for, I did for fun. Y'all niggas it bad, ain't you going on my boo? Who me? Not now. What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? I bad if I had to, like, if I was going to buy some, I would want to buy from somebody who didn't normally sell them. Like, I would want to catch, like, if she needed some money, she needed some money like a bill was due, then I'd do it. But I couldn't just like go find a prostitute, not a professional. That's not called prostitution no more, man.

They don't know about that. No, not from a professional. They're on Instagram. Yeah, buddy. You had to have something, but now they fucking for likes. My motherfuckin' fuck to say book me. Book you for what? Yeah.

Got quiet, him. I tell you what that. Hey, shit did get quiet, niggins is buying the headlines. Ladies, make some noise if you ever buy some dick. Yes, yeah. Uh-oh. Boy, you, nobody? So y'all are married, y'all just play, pler, plers.

Y'all ain't just pler, pler, p'all. Didn't tell me that one lady in this whole theater ever bought some dick. Dik ain't like they just pler, flair, flah, d'all, d'all. Ladies, y'all don't fly, blah, d'all. Ladies, y' y'all don't bought some dick. If you got that nigger riding around in your Nissan Altam all day, you paying for that dick. I am a pooh. They is being boozy.

What? Take your head of a hell of a goblin. That freaking, nigga. Look at them you, they buy us. They just put a deposit down on some pussy. Walk outside and come to make sure she's still up. It's just because the value of pussy is always going to be high. In the value of it.

Oh, that shit powerful, man. It's just always gonna be more, it's just always gonna be more valuable. Because, you know what I mean, I don't know why? Because without dick, what would the pussy be? They got toys, bro. Women got toys. Pussy is an independent superstar. Pussy don't need no help.

I mean, pussy don't need no help, but pussy need dick. Well, listen. Shit, they didn't figure out how to make two pusses work. Right. I don't know what the fuck they do. what the fuck they do, but in some way them two pusses get together. They call it the scissors. Their pusses get together form Voltron.

They don't know them are for them a bigger pussy, that's all. That's a bigger p... Because they got toad and shit. We ain't got no toy. They don't gave us a blow-up dog, dude. If you fucking run out of these, man, fucking... You better not ever get caught with no blow-up dog. She gonna talk so bad to you, you get caught with one of them.

Oh, you are... freaky nasty ass nigger. Who the fucking hit fucking toys? Who's been ass nigga? Ugh, you're fucking a goddamn. What you witnessed at the carnival, nigga? Get your freaky ass out of here. They're like, what did that big, like,

old flat? It just... Your entire. Your entire identity. Your entire identity has been, your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness

the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you remember Vine? It changed the internet forever, and it vanished in its prime. I'm Benedict Townsend, and this is Vine, six seconds that changed the world. The untold story of genius, betrayal, and the app that died so that TikTok could thrive. From overnight stars to the fall that no one saw coming, we're breaking down what made Vine iconic. Listen to Vine on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And here's Heather with the weather. Well, it's beautiful out there, sunny and 75, almost a little chilly in the shade.

Now, let's get a read on the inside of your car. It is hot. You've only been parked a short time, and it's already 99 degrees in there. Let's not leave children in the back seat while running errands. It only takes a few minutes for their body temperatures to rise, and that could be fatal. Cars get hot, fast, and can be deadly. Never leave a child in a car. A message from NHTSA and the ad council.

Hey, D.C. D.C. Then they put the air thing on the nibble. Now you're in there blowing the titty. But now it's a hole in it every time you stop blowing. Ah shit, it went flat again. ...hear... ...their...

...their... ...their... ...the... I don't even want to fuck no more after that. I'm going to sleep. A niggins go figure out just enough out of putting it in. We're both in that laid the fuck out DC. Dick out and everything.

Then you wake up like, I ain't finished. Oh man. All right, nigga, I'm tired now. You too, nigga. God damn. Oh, my God, I need to ask my pump. Nigger. Ooh. Boy, when you realize you was out of shape, niggas?

Like, what was that moment you realized you was out of shape? Nigger, going up some steps. For real? Nick, go up two sets and steps. I'm like, that damn, my thigh burn. You know when I realized I was out of shape? When you started hurting in a bitch-ass place that you ain't never heard it before, like right here on your hip.

Not even that. I knew I was out of shape when I had to carry that case of water in the house up to... Ooh, boy, that deer pop, the 24 case? I'm thinking I'm a man, nigga. I'm like, yeah, I got it. I don't kick that shit to the steps now. That shit is heavy as fuck. That's why ain't nobody water in the kitchen.

That's shit to be sitting on the floor somewhere. Yeah, I realized... I got old. We're walking the bathroom. It's one right over there. It's in the door. No, it's before you get to the bathroom, it's in the hallway. Let me tell you something.

I realized I were old, nigger when I ate a bag of house, I never chew over. I knew I was good. I was talking about 12 o'clock. I ain't a business, 12 o'clock, man. Went to sleep, Nick. Nick, about four o'clock in the morning, I woke on like this.

Hey! Before you know, that's it, I already going down my leg. God damn, what? Oh, yeah, boy. That ice cream, every nigga ain't hit lactose intolerant. You had that cookout milkshake, boy. It was, oh, who in for you? You had the light right before your house, nigger.

Like, shit, nigga, you're listening to some shit in the car. It's big feet, no pain. Yeah, that stomach hit your air. Oh, no. They don't be nothing of gas right there. Yeah, but that's the shit that make your whole body lock up. You lock up and you think it's gas. Then you're like, oh, I got a fart.

Then you go to fart. That goddamn... Nope, that ain't it. Oh! That motherfucker be ready, too. Hey. That goddamn Super Mario plot. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

Boy, boy, that shit is... I'm talking about real shit. That hr-r-r-r-r-t. It seemed like your mind, you tear your ass. Let it go! As soon as you see the toilet, soon as your draw, soon as your ass hit a little whiffle when. Ha, shit.

I didn't even make it to the toilet. God damn. When you already on the toilet but you're like this. Hey, somebody's going to check on me. Hey, buddy, you don't sit till your ass go in the toilet. You ever have one of them? Ha! Ha!

Ha! You got to sit your ass in the toilet. That shit burns so bad. Look at all the niggas in Durham got scared though that was a gunshot. Oh wait a minute. The white folks ain't going for that. They can't wait. Throw that out.

I love this shit. Bro, we got a dope-ass crowd in this motherfucker. Fucking right. This the Bull City, man. They represent the Bull City everywhere you go with them. You can yell out that Bull City. They get to throwing up them horns. What you say?

Bull City, bitch, I'm a Taurus. I love this shit, bro. We're just sitting on the couch over our motherfucking people out. Look at it. Don't you look like third lunch? They sure do, don't it though. Third lunch, lady hair, see, cafeteria. We're lit, bitch. Third lunch in the only African American school in Durham in the 50s.

That's how old this building is. This shit is old. shit is old you can smell the segregation in this motherfucker take a deep breath you can smell it they still got the roots you're walking here you here ain't gonna let nobody turn me round turn me round oh turn me round oh turn me round I'm gonna keep on to walk in keep on land ain't gonna let nobody turn me round turn me round turn me round turn me round ain't gonna let nobody turn me round no keep on to walk walking keep on talking marching up the freedom land walking saying right until the white full feet i ain't go let nobody turn me bitch we got to turn around

turn around amen this the coldest podcast that you just like a whole negro spiritual negro spiritual negro spiritual don't get the credit that they deserve Negro spirit is some classic black song you know another Negro spiritual that everybody know what I pulled at the club VIP gas tank on eBay everybody Know that's a Negro spiritual right there I love that shit

That is we got a lot If we ever have another civil rights movement That's what we're pulling up to Red bones caramels all love Stop and stare all love trying to My Underwell Wipe it out It's a lot of songs that every nigga know

It's a certain songs We would just talk about one backstage Right I want to move I'm going on a party ride. Hey, come on. I want to teach you, teach you, teach you, I'll teach you the electric slide. Oh, that one.

That's the old one. That's that shit right there, they. Yeah, that one. This man is still up there talking shit. He said, that's what took y'all so long. Y'all were doing an electric slide in the back. You motherfucking right. Me and your untie was right here together doing the electric slide.

That's what he's going to have to do to get down to the bottom. Ah, ah, ah. Still got three flights of stairs to go, nigga. I bet you got a hole in your sock. It's a breeze in your presence. What's the other Negro spirituals? The other Negro spiritual. What's the Negroes?

When you see my deep, when you see my death, I'm gonna be that, be, be, like, be on, be on, be ya, bea, bea, bea, bea, yeah, be ya. Everybody's favorite part. Mama, how you do it if you is D? Turn that shit off. That's crying. We lit. The old people, they're like, what he's saying? What he's saying?

Bitch, it's a whisper song, bitch. It's a rare condition from this day and age. That's a death of that Negro spiritual, right? That's beautiful. Oh, the new bag of a place. Love is distant and sad as high. So people say, it's a heart. Is he the heart of that I

Are you another? No, it ain't really never had no beats So I was like, okay, I ain't never, oh, I couldn't get it, oh You cold All I see Sing it P.A.3 Real love in an hour every sea Up, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, every see.

Every day goes by Another nigger bind you another T.S.3. You stupid in hell. That shit sound like a real fucking... Do that one more time. Hey man, this shit sounds like a real theme song. Oh, that's gonna be our name song. Everybody come in doing something different.

Then the retar, the one that's slow away. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Three niggas on the couch. That's how I said, Carl. On the next episode of Baby Daddy's on the couch. Hey guys, our baby mama's birthday is coming up. to get her.

Nothing. So typical. What are you going to get her? I've been looking at this PS3. I think I'm going to get the PS3 for a little boy. You know, I got Crash Bandicoot, and I think he's going to enjoy that. How about you? What's you going to get her?

I don't know, man. I mean, if you get him the PS3, it's not really much else I can do. You don't win high. You don't sit in the bar. You don't sit in the bar. I'm always trying to outdo us. How do us? Because I got him a PS2.

Did you find that? It's a service. I just found it. It was pieces and I just put it together. Oh, okay. Maybe we should just give them the PS3 and say it from all of them. No, I don't think she's going to accept that. Oh, she'll accept it.

How about we just go win? You just get the PS3, I get the game. And you get it before. Yep. That's right, man. That's it. That's it. Work at the team.

Go to commercial. And now a word from our sponsors. Brought to you in part by Lacefront Glue. If you can't keep your lace front on, up with us. Also brought to you by Waste Trainers. If you want to hide that fat, strap it tight.

Also, brought to you by a fuck dog. Batteries sold separately. You put some batteries in the fuck dog. We need a show bad as a motherfucker. Three niggas on the couch would be a great show for us. They wouldn't let us come on TV, but we can shit. Three niggas on the couch? Three niggas on the couch would be dope.

That shit to be lit. What would y'all want to see three niggas on the couch talk about? Bluechoo.com? Bluechut.com. Go get you some. I said bluechoo. Go get some. It makes you meet your meat get hard.

Come on y'all. It make you meet get hard. Come on y'all. It makes you meet get hard. That nigg got it works. It makes you meet get hard. Come on y'all. If you want to go home.

Fuck your girl. Hit the pill. Bluetooth.com. Exactly what it is. Go get your shit. Turn it on. Y'all still getting paid for that shit. We got to stop doing free commercials for that shit.

Yeah, we do. They fuck with me. I don't wrote a whole jingle, they're going to put that on the official commercial. Exactly. Whenever they make one, that's the one. As soon as I get paid, I'm going to be like, move, pill that guy.

Shout out to all the niggies. to be taking them gas station dick pills and fucking hell out these women. You're gonna have a heart attack at 27 you better stop doing that shit. Don't kill yourself. Nicking took two of them dick pills, drunk a red boy, wondering why you had

ICU, can't fill your feet. Nick, a dick still hard and his ears ringing. You better stop taking them goddamn yellow jackets and shit. Them goddamn rhinos. Pallographed. Then the nigga asked, let me get a, let me get two swish or sweets. Let me get one of rhinos. Like what?

Sir? You're sorry? I thought that that's stuff to you up to what? Hey, you haven't fucked the shit? other girl and shit like god damn you must be on the pill or something. No, this is natural dick. No GMOs, all organic. What's that, you on that goddamn, cut-tom, they're gladdy.

I took one, no motherfucker one time, but oh, we, that shit's gonna eat up. I don't think I took it too fair, or the castle pop, because you know I had the little one where it popped, so I, you know, they put the pop in your stomach. I think mine pop, my neck, y' y'all. Nick, throat got hard. But I was down to eat her pussy.

Long little mama. That's just make your hot beat fan. The longest I to ever ate some pussy. Long enough for her to find, for me to find out she wasn't going to give me no pussy after I ate it. That's the longest every man that ever ate some pussy. You like, she likes it a little bit longer. Okay.

Don't do me like that. You come up like, I don't really know if I want to go there with you yet. Bitch, you better go somewhere. Look at my beard. God damn. Don't look like me like me eating crispy cream donuts all goddamn thing. Don't do me like that. Don't do me like that.

You go on something. Stop blank. Wake up in your face. What you doing? You know what's happening. The little boy, he said, y'all stop it. We bring him back too many bad memories. That nigga came out the room with that crispy cream.

Hey, a little man. We y'all keep the waters that around this motherfucker. Oh, that little nigger, 13. He might have been an ace of hisself by now. Oh, shut y'all ass up. Like y'all wasn't trying. If you know, Shet Joe, I got pregnant at 15 and shut your ass up. I'm 10. Yeah.

I bet he probably fucking, though. He probably is fucking. He ain't fucking. He ain't fucking. He probably is 13, my nigga. You get played with but you can't play with. Damn. I don't be playing with. Yeah. Enjoy that. Don't rush it, bro. Just enjoy that. That shit lit, bud. It's gonna feel like a grown-in' man, but-

Yeah, times have changed. It might have been far-fetched a couple years ago, but these kids now, they got Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook, and all these different ways to see tithies and ass and shit that we didn't have. If we want to see tities and ass, we had to go find them. Find it. That shit is finding us. Ah, look a titty.

Another ass. Coochee. They could eat coocher early. All right. This is the best time he's ever had in his life. He ain't never heard so many curse words. Come on, nobody with his mama mouth in his life. Because you know she'd be cut out, you better not fall in the goddamn balcony.

And fuck my career, I'm gonna be mad as fuck. Sit your little bad ass back. Oh, dad. Oh, that you fall up that goddamn balcony. That nigga keep laughing. Exactly. Look, hanging off the balcony and shit. He think of the hilarious.

He don't even know what he laughing at. That nigga, ah. He said, bitch. He said coocha. They fucking my mama. Oh, wait a minute. Where you're gonna lean your bad ass back for you fall off that bitch and hear your mama insurance guy? He is bad as a motherfucker. Y'all seen that video of that little boy at the kid graduation.

That nigga said, no. She said, do you need to leave? Fuck you bitch. I was like, oh. You could tell he been saying it was too normal. He'd been calling her that. Who was at a graduation? It was at an elementary school grad

Like a pre-kindergarten going to kindergarten That thing was like two years old Said, no, fuck you bitch Told a shit to fuck up That nigga did not want to go to kindergarten, God damn You ready to go, bitch, I want to be a baby in my life Y'all think it's so stupid

I love this, I just got there I'm still, I can't get that. Y'all lit, y'all I can't get over. I can't get over that lady fingerways, bro. I'm still thinking about. Telling the quarters. Hell, yeah. It looks like quarterplace.

She got fishing. Then we had the white lady with the wheelchair who got up and got in her seat. Yeah. And cross her legs. Oh, like, bitch, what is this wheelchair for? That's the only reason why I took it because I know she can let me use it for a little bit. She ain't needed to that long, you get to roll on. This is another sign that you know you get old when you can't stay woke long.

Like, y'all. motherfuckers in the crowd it's a nigga sitting in the back right now to rest my eye no I fuck with him I'm just man I've been working out of y'all gonna be driving home with all the windows rolled down in the car radio turned all the way up don't walk away boy don't walk up who right 15 moments come on god damn what time it is Turn up, because the light's on, we gonna run these folks light build up. We don't give a buck. Come on, play.

Won't give a buck, play. Niggins in the crowd is tied to the bitch right now. Shout out to everybody who are already drunk a little bit. You ever try to drive home drunk for all the houses in your neighborhood look alike. You can't figure out which one yours. I have. I've pulled up to the wrong goddamn house. Shit, I pulled up to the wrong house coming to your house.

Knocked on them people's doing everything. Was ringing the doorbell that nigga. I'm like, Carlos, this ain't your house. That nigga said, man, you better get the fuck off that people porch, nigga. I'm like, oh, my bad. Yeah, the 85 South Show. You already know who this podcast is for.

Who is for? Shut up. It's for the ladies who don't have no lingerie. Just regular panties and t-shirts. Whoever? That's her right there. I don't expect nothing less from you. I know them too shy.

She walked around the house. She just flip her titty out of shirt pocket. It's in the cup. You know that couple right there, Tide. They leaning on each other in the seat. They in a seat like this. That's who you got to... That's who you got to find to be with.

We're singing and we're calling. Which one are you talking about, them right there? No, them in the corner right there. The ballhead dude on the edge of this girl right there beside my man with the white shirt on. Back scene in St. Clair right there? Look at the white lady, snitching. Yeah, them two.

Those, those. White lady, love to tell. He's talking about them right there. Overton and St. Clair. Everybody in this bitch. Shout out to my third-roled niggas. I'm talking about the people who are on the very last row in the whole theater the last row

The other motherfuckers who could decide if they was coming at night Somebody knows it bleeding In the last row Look at the nigg in the last row I see you, that nigga, ah You get this, you can feel the black tidesness Like black tiredness sweep the room It's all with one nigger

And next thing you know everybody in this big, God damn, whoa, who had to work today? God damn, y'all ain't anybody got a job, right? Five little raglan's people. What do y'all do? It's like nine of there. This niggins work for the government. These niggins. Worked at Dillips.

Had to hit that morning shift, 7 to 9. That's stupid as fuck. I'm so tired out, but reach for your drink. Leave my shit alone. How many y'all going straight to bed? when you get home. Who gonna fuck? Then go straight to bed.

Look, that's how they can think about. God damn, I'll try to get some push. Come on. Somebody gonna be hitting it from the back and think of one of them joke. Boy, D.C. stupid in hell, boy. Now, one of them niggas gonna go home, but we're in the closet and be like, shit.

tonight do me a favor bro if y'all enjoyed this show together suck her titty on the way home i'm talking about just at a red light just stop and lean over and suck and pull off and ladies if you got a big dude like that suck his titty on the way home there you go do something real different she stood up that nigga that nigga stood up he's ready to get his That was a freaking-a-dinger, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Sit your freak-hand down, y'all. Fuck, girls, with you.

I think I want to get your nass ass off. Man, you forgot this back. Much love to all the ladies who don't got no ass, but you still know how to twerk. It's too many, y'all. I ain't respect to me that, that goddamn, man. You're gonna break your tailbone, trying to shake that little ass. Shake a number of thighs.

Just. Oh, that bitch happened to see you over there, somebody. Yeah, much love to all the homeless, niggas. You don't look homeless, but you live with somebody. Get your shit together. That shit ain't on no leases. Niggins is sleepy. That's what it is.

y'all wake y'all ass up in durham niggie y'all ain't got shit to do when you leave here but try to be safe that's all you can do in durham is try to be safe that's me saying durr all right baby y'all be safe now all right now hey hey where you get in that car be safe he's safe baby i love you know you too baby yeah shout out to all the people in here that are not couples but y'all fucking like that Without y'all, none of this shit is possible. Every other weekend, y'all sticking to a different show, and we appreciate that. That shit be happening. We'll be taking the pictures.

The ladies will come up, you're like, this ain't my other nigga. Don't say nothing. Yeah. Don't worry about it. We be getting sexually harassed when they be taking pictures with us, Lord. You got sexually harassed? Oh, look, stop. They need to hear this.

Tell your story, bro. What the fuck happened? Hey. If you got that bitch voice recorder or something? But no, we're taking pictures, right? D.C. says something hilarious. He likes to do this impression of Urkel bot. It's a family maples.

The Erkel bot. You'll have to do it one time, D.C. Oh, Erkel bot. So I'm laughing at this nigga doing an Urkel bot. I turn around and laugh. This lady walked up behind me and grabbed me from my hand. Whole dick and balls and start going like this. I'm like, she's trying to fuck me, man.

What is going on? sexually harass the shit out me. I'm like, me too. What is wrong with you? I'm literally shaking right now. Saw it. I'm triggered. Why? Because I know that really hurt, girl. When she grabbed you from the, she grabbed you from the back to the front. And lifted the whole dick and balls up. I don't know about you, but when somebody lift my balls up, I feel too vulnerable. Listen, and in the crazy part about this is my phone. Don't go up. That's shit supposed to hang down. Don't lift my shit up like you're about to put a new diaper on me. This is a true story. After she did the shit, her boyfriend walked over. Like, yeah, man, I fuck with y'all. I'm like, nigger, what do y'all have going on? What type of freaky shit job in too?

That shit fucked me up. Because like he said, I was doing my Urkel bot. And then I said it, I was like, oh, this bitch is tripping. I know the fuck I didn't like it. I swear that thing turned around. I ain't never see that nigga ready to fight with it. Bitch. What is wrong with you? Don't sexually harass me. I have to give you consent to touch my dick.

Now, if I give you consent, grab a weight. Much love to all the ladies giving consent. Hey, we mama, listen, listen, mama. We're talking about verbal. We know you, bitch. We know. You are the VIP of the night. We know you fucking with everything.

Hey. Hey. Hey, I'm fucking that little dick right now. Look at me about that little dick right now. I'm fucking. I'm about to let y'all tired-ass niggas go lay down, so you keep... No, we not. Fuck it, that's on the part, too.

Oh, you, you ain't ready to go. Well, hey. She like keep them thing rolling, huh? Hey, hey, well, hey, look, ma'am, just because you ain't tired, the rest of these, look around you. Look around. Just turn around and look around. Do you see that?

some of this, these guys got to sleep on their mind right now. Somebody, what did you say, that this, nigga. Hey, company these bitch that took their lace from all. They like, fuck that shit. I have not. I am cute, and now I'm ready to go home. Hey, bro. Look, y'all look, they gave us a trophy for selling this bitch out.

So did. Y'all is part of that this trophy because without child wore me to get no motherfucker. I like, bro. Y'all gotta make some noise for y'all motherfucking shell, don't. Get dead.

Whoever made this trophy freaky as fuck, why they put the nuts on the bull? They put them on the bull, too. Niggas in there, like, yep, gotta put the... Oh, I gotta put the... Sold out two shows. Bull City. Thank y'all, man.

We appreciate y'all. We're then sold out two shows in the Bull City. now we got this little goofy ass bull with the nuts on it we gonna keep this forever who putting us on this board they gave my dick no you know what i'm gonna do with it they put a dick with the head on it and everything you know what i'm gonna do you know what i'm doing with this trophy hey mama you ever had a trophy before you want it you can't give my trophy to that late no she don't really want it she just want me to present something like y'all late guess what y'all just getting here show over motherfucker fuck

What did you do to the white woman? Did you kidnap her? Is you hiding her from somebody? Hey, white lady, wipe your mouth off. She just tried to show me a titty on a load. Stop playing. Oh, they all there. Gotta leave that white lady alone,

but we be charged with a song down this motherfucker. This is Bill Durham. Look, an auntie. She's about to fall out of that goddamn cubicle. This niggins stop playing. What's had the other side? Some disco music, niggins. You can tell y'all work hard for y'all money.

Why you say that? Because every time they think we about to go, they're like, no, they ain't leave yet. I would not leave until they leave. This shit sounds like we're about to go shopping as Zara, nigger. I like this shit. This is the shit that had that gay dudes singing on it. Everyone knows the time to find your body right.

That's the wrong music right there. I like this shit. Don't you do it. Two sold-out shows. Two coochers cut. Wake your last is up in the Bull City. Wake your last is up in the Boar City. Up top still line.

Up top. Look, hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Hold up. Oh shit.

Yeah, yeah. The real ticket holders are here now. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. The real ticket holder. She like, I told you. Bro, just come shit on the front room. She like, I told you that what I see.

They got a dilemma. No, man. How crazy is it that another black dude? Hey, look. Hey, look. Hey, guess what? Those people right here ain't called. Yeah, white woman, get out.

your seat for the black one. They sit on the front room. There you go. Look, her, she's trying to tell her like, we was here. How are you going to steal a seat? They're going to sit in the front, they ain't going to get here.

Look, everybody in Durham woke up now. Uh-oh, violence. Hey, man, hold the bull. Hold the bull. They're up here still in seats. Y'all so stupid. Stupid. The seat bandit.

Damn, they went to the bear from it came back. Your seats was gone. Oh, see, we got blood, how I seen place. She's like, hold my purse. And my wig. Where y'all come from? Y'all just show it up. How many for you to get?

You are, you a real low-down, nigga. I appreciate you. Oh, scumbang, nigga. Come on, let's go down now. Man, he's a real, nigga. He ain't, no smoke. He's like, hey, man, you need to get to fuck up, man. I, I, huh.

That's your neighbor? Oh, really? Who your neighbor? That's your neighbor? I look at my mom. man said, little man said, that nigga, that's your neighbor. Hell no, that nigga fucking in there, don't know. Y'all ain't ever fuck?

Go fuck tonight. You're lying. He didn't hit that. He didn't hit that, but he said we. He came over there with a bad. That's your neighbor. You bought your neighbor to the show? I don't believe that shit.

You bought him. Uh-uh. Yeah, here it is. Yeah, I don't believe that shit. There it is. Uh-uh. Nah. Look at all the black women.

I wish I would bring my neighbor to any motherfucker. thing calls me a goddamn mother something about that I ain't trusting I don't trust it you see how we both naturally just moved to the other side way from over there D.C. don't fall for it. Don't fall for it.

She tried to give it a pussy but don't get it. Don't get it. You're going to be fucking her. You're going to see this thing hanging out the closet. That's right. tear ass up D.C. We're your neighbors. We're your neighbor. We're

neighbors. Hey, D.C., the only way you can fuck her is if you sing, ain't gonna let nobody, turn me round, turn me round, turn me round. I heard that before. Man, we gotta get the fuck out of here, bro. That's the new rule, black men. If you fuck a white woman, you gotta sing Negro spirituals to her while you do it. Follow the drinking god.

No, you got to make a watch Hidden Colors One through five Make a watch We don't get a thug sit out bitch Hey man we gotta get the fuck out of here They ain't leaving man Look at this shit like church

Now I told y'all That we was about to lead But we gotta pass the collection plate Around one more time Yes, amen Amen We gotta get that collection up See, you've been sitting in this show holding the money.

Because they've been holding all. Come on, DC, let him use you. Let him use you. Let him use you. Glory! Glory! Glory! Glory!

Glory! Glory! Thank you all for coming out. Thank you all for coming out. 8,000. Come on, and we're like y'all, man. In Berlin.

Give it up. Give it up. Give it up, but 85 now show, give it up. Join We all these Give it up Sue's long

out of the show Get it all Go get it Oh my bitch Yeah Yeah You're going

Oh yeah Let's go Oh yeah Oh yeah Yeah I'm Yeah I got to get

I got to get I got to I got to I'm Join I heart Radio and Sarah Spain

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Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. is an iHeart podcast.