The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - THE FAMU HOMECOMING STAND - UP COMEDY SPECIAL | Ep. 151

Episode Date: October 5, 2018

On this special edition of the The 85 South Show, the entire original squad connect at FAMU for a homecoming comedy show like no other! Clayton English - a FAMU alumn - pops the show off with stand up comedy and karlous milller rips the crowd and educates. Plus, B Simone stops through to play a game of FIND MY BOO - because she's looking for a boyfriend! DC Young Fly was on the set of a movie earlier in the day but somehow made it to the show and piped it up. The school shut the lights and microphones off right before DC started the BBW twerk off! The 85 South Show literally shut it down and had your momma twerking! FOLLOW THE CREW KARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/ DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/ CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/ CLAYTON ENGLISH - http://www.claytonenglish.com/ JOE T. NEWMAN - http://www.joetoscano.tumblr.com CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/ LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_queso/ J.O.N - https://www.instagram.com/heeeyj_o_n/ CRIAG GRAVES - https://www.instagram.com/craigshoots23/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the show. the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. big, the longer the sentence goes, the smaller the words get. You know, he's being glad. And this is the first time that I show you right now what I have told you right. You think something wrong with your hearing. You're like, what the fuck? What did you say at the ear?

I told you when you came here right now that I do right now. And financial wage, y'all niggas can kiss a dig too, motherfucker. Nigger, how long do it take for my paperwork to get right? I need my refund check with your goof-ass, all right? Stop acting like you don't know my fucking name on that list. What the Mexican dude with no hat when? Where your fucking hat at, bruh? I don't trust this thing, bro.

Y'all watch him. You're going to be stealing all the black girls. Oh, y'all... What? We might have to jump him. You'll be stealing our women. Where are you from, bro? You're Palestinian?

Let me quit fucking with you for you blow this bitch up. They called his uncle, what the fuck did he say? What did he say? None. He don't embarrass my family. What do he say?

I'm bloody... Congratulations. Good trial. I'm 26 with a master's degree. That's coming December 4th. 14 and 9 a.m. Hey, well, nigga, I'm 30 and I'm rich. Congratulations, motherfucker.

Fuckers you talking about. Yeah, D.C. Appreciate you. All five of y'all. But whenever I come to an HBCU, man, I always like to let it be known and I'm a product of an HBCU. And I know everybody that's sitting there

Got some type of goal or some type of dream or some type of vision. Let me tell you something. I come from nothing. I grew up with nothing and everything that I got I made myself. But I made it right out of a building just like this one y'all sitting in right now. And everybody that's sitting here, we got a special type of power, man. It ain't usually that black people get to get together like this and build, man. We got the greatest energy on this planet.

So y'all utilize that energy while y'all here and make the best out of this shit and get out of the world and be great, my nigger. Because they try to play us like we ain't shit, but we're the greatest of, we the greatest period. So know that. No it. I got our contestants and I think we're ready to start the show off. Bispit Simone can't see him. No, you can't see them. All right.

So this right here is Find You a Boo, FAMU, all right? Find You a Boo to Fam U. Homecoming, 2018. Let me see your rage at hand. That's it. It's homecoming and it's big, everybody. It's homecoming that it's big. Everybody's safe.

It's homecoming that it's big. It's homecoming. Everybody say, it's home coming in a bitch, hey, it's that girl from the princess and the fraud. And you are? Imani, Hydea Cooper, the 112, Miss Florida, Agricultural, and Mechanical. Hell, yeah. Yeah, let's go! God dang! Give it up!

Woo! You just said that shit. And you all, don't sit down, who are you? Miles Millsat, the 19th, Mr. Florida, Agricultural, and Mechanical University. Yeah, yeah. Time out, time out, time out, everybody. This nigga forgot who he is. He said the 19th Florida Agricultural and Technical University. You're the 19th, what? Nick, what are you? 19th, Mr. Fam, you shout out to the good brothers, 06. Shout out to the gay brus. Is that what you're saying? Oh, that's not what that man's said. I don't find her. How are you beautiful? You got the money.

Wow. Damn, did she just hear you say you was rich? She said, do I got the money? So all it takes is the money to get that pussy? For real? Wow. What's your cash app? Buddy, what's your cash up?

I'm gonna see you the money. I said, hold up. If that's the only take is a couple of dollars for you to come to my place and put the booty on my bed, let me hit that. Nigger, sit the money, let him hit. Homecoming, fam, you. HBCU homecoming, Nick. Red line.

Anybody left so it's in the building. We're about to turn it out, y'all. I got Chief O'B. in the building tonight, y'all. I got Clayton English in the building tonight, y'all. I got my girl B. Simone in the building tonight, y'all. And I got the sensei, Carlos Scler, is in the building tonight. Did you guys come out here to have a good time? We're about to set it off.

Let me hear it one. time with my Rattler's at! All right, I need you to do one thing for me before we start this show. I want to thank everybody for coming out. This is the 85,000 shoe experience. I need you to go on YouTube and subscribe to the 85,000 show. We're about to get this thing starting. Y'all ready?

Fairview, where you at? Are you ready? This man I'm bringing out right here. You've seen him on Wilden Out. He is the winner of NBC. of NBC's last coming sannie. And most importantly, he is damn you alumni. Y'all, make some noise. Start clapping right now.

Give it up for Clayton English. I don't know. I call. College calling. Hey, there's you. Let's make some noise. God damn. Let's go.

Where's Ollie? What the fucking done? Cut that shit, cut that shit, man, goddamn. Fam you. Fam you, what we doing, man? We in here? Everybody good? All my Florida people,

where all the Florida people represent right goddamn now. Right, goddamn. Do what you do. Shout your county out. You know how you do it. Shout your county out. I ain't know what the fuck y'all was talking about

when I first came down here. Duvo. I thought that was a person. He was like, he's everywhere. Shot him out every turn. Mid-West people make some noise. All the Midwest people that sit here. All right.

Chicago people. Yeah, security. Pat them down. Pat them down. Right, goddamn now, man. He's shooting everybody. They go to school to steady guns. Sit your ass down.

Detroit people? Detroit? Yeah, okay. All right. Got down. Detroit got houses with no house. They just got porches. They'd be on the porch. Wait, like if the house gonna show up later on.

Shout out of here. All my Atlanta people, Georgia. Oh, oh, let's do it. Let's do it, now. I like it. I'm probably missing people. Where the goddamn, uh, pattyfoot people at? Yeah.

Don't nobody believe y'all leaving in school. You show them pictures. They're like, you locked up, ain't you? What is this? fucking be posted in the room this goddamn big you

you got to help your roommate get to bed who and the shit is oh man no fam you're the only place where

people go to school change clothes three times a day and the shit be fresher than before these motherfuckers got Beyonce wardrobe changes

in the middle of of the day. Look, I'm trying to let them know, man. For real. It's good to be out here, man. We got a new president. That ain't who I'm rocking with. I miss Obama, man. Let's get Obama round of applause just for showing me how to live my life the right way. For real. Obama taught me how to talk to women. For real, fellas, you get in trouble, you answer questions too goddamn fast. That's why you get in trouble. You come home late. Your girls started ask you question where were you who are you with you know what time it is you just started making all me and uh charles we went to the zoo and then we got stuck at the

now slow that shit down i talk to my girl like i'm the president of the united states i put her on my pace she asked me them questions where were you who are you with you know what time it is i just show up uh hold on first of all before i begin i'm like to start my say, uh, pay the bills in this motherfucker. All right. No, no, no, I understand. I understand you got questions. I want to get you some answers. Uh, seems to me, or you want to know where I was. That's a good question. I can see why you want to know the answer. I just want to make sure we're clear on the same page. So what you're trying to figure out is where was I? Well, all have you know, I was out.

Now I'm back. No further questions. Then you walk off. Walk the fuck off. Go think of some old lies. You ain't got to do your press conference immediately. Did I shout out all my, uh... Oh, Miami.

I'm sorry, man. God damn, man. God damn! How I forgot y'all? I don't even know what you... Hey. Hey, Miami, when y'all start playing them songs, y'all be playing too. leave.

I don't know what it's stick, stick, Steve, what? I ain't know what that meant. I was like, hey, hold on, I don't want to see no sticks. Don't put no stick out on me. Future had stick talk.

What stick we talk about? I rock with y'all. Who else I'm missing? You got to say it. I can't hear you. You got to hold on, hold on. New York, I heard New York up there. Yeah.

Yeah. Get y'all. ass out of here, man. Y'all, they never drove before. Want to come down here and get a license. Show ass off the road. They'd be speeding because they got on them heavy-ass timberland. Shit, son, I gotta get where I'm going, beat. Shit, it's crazy, son.

Motherfuckus put both blinkers on. I could go either way, son. She's crazy. Soft to hells a pup, son. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. New York people who make sure you know where they're from. Hold on You said Broward

Okay, there you go With the little crap I should have known Where ain't where Kodak from Yeah I was at the little block party last night They played Kodak they started shooting I thought it was part of the song

I'm too old to be out I couldn't even get low Everybody dropped down I was like well they just go have to hit me That shit is could have to walk to the car Hey, be running and jumping over shit. This shit out of hand.

All right. Any overseas people? Anybody from another country? Where my African people at? All the Nigerian people. Makes a noise you got a Nigerian English teacher. How are you supposed to take notes? You're Nigerian people, you can't never hear the end of what they're saying.

All they're saying. words start on big, the longer the sentence goes, the smaller the words get. You know, he being glad. And this is the first time that I show you right now what I have told you what you should be. You think something wrong with your hearing. You're like, what the fuck? What did you say at the ear? I told you when you came here right now that I do now.

You don't know what to write on the nose. All your nose end, dot, dot, dot, dot. I don't know what to show. That's the assignment to figure out what he said at the end. Well, I'm just playing, all right. Look, man, Fam U, this place is very special. It's super awesome because not only is it, no, no, for real,

not only is it people that's going to lead the future and it's people here see talent and other people. And that's what it helped me. Everybody told me I needed to do comedy. Stan, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to go about doing that. But people here believed to me before I even believed in me. So this place always got a special place.

And my heart. And I just wanted the goddamn 85 South Show to see how dope. This shit actually was. Because I don't think they actually believe me. And I think y'all are going to show them right now. If you can make a lot of noise right now, more noise than you have made all goddamn night. Make a lot of noise right now. Let them feel the energy all the way in the back, all the way in the back, let them feel the energy.

Who I'm bringing up is it? Wait a minute. All right. Okay. Yeah, see, what that mean? It's a dance or some shit to go with that. Y'all got to show me, man. Y'all got to show me, man. That's just y'all a little call. I don't know what y'all doing. Do it one more time? I can't do it. You see how deep my voice is? I smoke too much weed for that sound. Hey, hey, I didn't say that.

I don't smoke weed. I don't keep more weed on me than I can eat. Let's do this. Right now, y'all ready? Very funny dude coming to the stage. Y'all make all the noise. You've seen this man everywhere. You've seen him on MTV. You've seen him on wilding out. Probably one of the dopes motherfuckers that I know. And you got them in the building right now. Show your love. Make a lot of goddamn noise.

Make a lot of noise right now. Right goddamn now for my dog, Chico B! Had you by the pistol, it got 30 rounds in. Pull a vet your mom in my house and put some rounds in. Where the nigger block and wax them niggas drown in it. Hey, honey, hey, drunk. Honey. I'm on this slaughtered dine shit, shit.

Murder, dang shit. Yeah. Damn you, what's up? Murder, what's up? Murdered game. Cut it off, cut it off, cut it off. Fuck that, it's homecoming. Fam you, what's up?

Look at all y'all niggas in here, boy. This shit is dope. I love you too, baby. How you doing with the crown on in the front? Man, I fuck with Famu, man. Listen, man, this is my second time here. I came in like two years ago. But every time I come, this shit make me realize.

how dope this HBCU is man so make some noise for yourself I went to a HBCU so I know how tough it is to make it in one of these motherfuckers man first of all I went to Winston Salem State in North Carolina and I don't know if y'all know this if you ever been to any other HBCU don't feel bad fam you all HBCUs is in the hood nigger every last one you go to but this one right here nigger I fucked around and was on Houghton Street at that gas station. Oh, my God. How the fuck do you niggas learn at this motherfucker?

It was crackheads everywhere. I'm like, nigga, do they go to school here or do they just live in the community? What the fuck is going on? I don't know why they set us up like that and put all the HBCUs in the middle of the ghetto and expect us to be safe. You can't be safe with crackheads all on campus, locals and shit. Don't nothing be worse than the local niggas that be, oh my God. But ladies, ladies don't make too much noise. One of y'all didn't got caught by one of them niggas.

You didn't fuck the local. One of y'all that gave some locals and pussy. One of y'all are you, you mad and a motherfucker you did too. You thought that nigga really was a ball or nope. That nigger worked on Houghton Street at the gas station. You gave your pussy away for nothing. shit is crazy man all the pressure they put us on that these HBCU

they give you a little bit of money to get real food at the beginning of the semester you use all that shit the first week now you got to eat them calf eggs and shit on yourself every third hour of the day what the fuck are they putting in the eggs and the calf at HBCUs nigger first of all them shit

be chunky like motherfucking donuts. You'd be like, nigga, what kind of eggs is these? This shit thick like pound cake, nigga, I don't know. Then they got the motherfuckers that work in the calf. Oh, my God. These motherfuckers look like they supposed to be at the Waffle House, nigga.

That's what I got. Them calf workers, boy. Nigger be missing teeth and all that shit. Like, nigga, nah, don't scoop my eggs, toothless, man. I don't want you slob on my bacon. Nigger, get your loose mouth fans away from my train, Nick. HBCU problems.

And no disrespect. I respect what y'all do, but I say this, you know, with all due respect to all of y'all that's in here, I appreciate you doing your job, but fuck campus police. I'm sorry, I got to say it. I got to say it. Why the fuck do y'all take your job so seriously? They don't even let y'all in the real jail,

nigga, you got to drop me off at the front if you lock me up. Keep taking me that goofy ass holding the cell on campus. This ain't no holding sale. And parking's supposed to be free. Why the fuck do they keep doing this shit? Parker is supposed to be free. Nick, I pay a million dollars a year to go to this bitch. And you mean tell me I can't leave my car nowhere?

That shit like, hey, that's shit like God's plan with different words, Nick. Why is campus police always fucking with me? I pay my tuition Why it's Park and not free For real man Shit is ridiculous And financial wage y'all niggas can kiss a dick too

Muffer nigga how long do it take for my paperwork To get right I need my refund check With your goof-ass Alright? Stop acting like you don't know my fucking name on that list bitch You acting like you got an attitude with me

Motherfuck is my money Get my goddamn money. Got me standing all in line all along and shit. Acting like you don't know what the fuck I'm here for. Can I help you, sir? Yeah, bitch, you can help me. Give me my money. Shit is ridiculous, man.

Letting you know, fam, I feel y'all pain. Going to a HBCU is tough, man. They act like they don't know why we need that fucking money. We need that money. And I feel so if you ain't got your... refund check yet by homecoming, nigga. It's gonna be a long week. You ain't gonna know what to do at the door at the party. And to all you niggas that go here that's throwing the parties this week, uh, bitch-ass nigger, stop acting like you don't go to class with me every first and

second Thursday, nigga. Motherfucker get to the door and act like he don't know you. But like, what's good, bro? Yeah, uh, 35, bro. It's gonna be 35. My bitch-ass-nigger week. People don't understand the pressure of being an HBCU student, man, I do. Like, HBCU broke is a different type of broke. It ain't white college broke. They got regular shit like chick-fil-aes and all types of shit on campus. Y'all got a chick-fil-A? Word!

Oh, nigger, y'all turned up out this motherfucker then. I was, I didn't never think I would see a chick-fil-A on an HBCU campus. You know why? Because there's niggas here. And if I was in school and there was a chick-fil-A on my campus, bitch, you wouldn't have been able to tell me it was closed on Sunday. I've been that motherfucker frying the shit out chicken on Sunday. Nick, lock the door. They ain't going to catch us.

And they get some of them patties. But college broke a different bro, because even if y'all do got a chick-fil-A-on campus, you just swiped all your money away in a week and a half so you can't buy nothing. And that's the thing. College broke is a different type of bro, especially HBCU broke. Like HBC you broke, I had you ask me God for shit you know you're not supposed to ask him for. You be in a calf like, God, my Lord, save you, God. Please don't let them see me put this chicken breast in my pocket, God. Please don't let the grease soak through my jeans when I'm jogging back to my dorm room, God.

You be in a bookstore like God, my Lord, save you, God. Please don't let them see me rip these three pages I need for this quiz. out this book for the mom, because I'd be goddamn, if I'm going to pay $650 for a book I'm going to use one time. Then when I take that motherfucker back, they're going to give me 38 cents for it. Suck my dick, bitch. The worst part be when you call home, no, that place that you thought you wanted to get away from, it seemed like your people's be happy as hell you ain't there no more, don't it?

That shit crazy. I used to hate calling home. Like, first of all, my mother never cooked when I was in school. Like never when I was at home. She never cooked. As soon as I go to college, she didn't want to turn into fucking Gordon Ramsey and start cooking every day.

I used to hate calling home because I was in college struggling like a lot of y'all, like most of us is. I used to call home like, Mom, what's you doing? Oh, nothing, baby. Just baking some turkey wings and some macaroni and cheese and some hundred butter biscuits.

I'm like, Mom, put the phone in the oven. Please. Your son down here struggling. Shit is important, man. The dorm rooms be fucked up. Nick, ain't nothing like staying in a freshman dorm. I remember the freshman dorms my freshman year, nigger. First of all, I don't know how we managed to get bathroom so nasty, nigger, but I don't

know if it's like this in FAMU. Let me see how real this shit is down here. Nigger, do y'all had the shower curtains with the mold and shit on the bottom? Oh my God. I remember my freshman year, true story. I was taking the shower with one of the moldy shower curtains and the nigger walked too fast and that bit stuck to my leg. I was like, ah, my leg got AIDS down,

I got to cut my leg on. Scrubbed the shit out of my leg trying to get that mold. And you would think that it would just be the boys' dorms that be nasty, but hell no. Ladies y'all, ooh, I heard y'all got one here called Paddyfoot, nigger, that's real fucked up. I don't know what y'all be doing.

You go to that freshman dorm, it looked like bitches would be slinging pussy on the wall like Spider-Man. Just, ha, there it is. Yeah, that's ha, pussy juice on the wall. Yeah, ha. You be like, niggas, that a string of pussy juice that I see? How did she manage to get it in a straight line like that? She must be a professional. One thing I will say about fam you is that y'all

I got some of the most beautiful women in the fuck. Like, I haven't been to HBCUs all over the country. I don't been all of them down there. And I mean this, I'm not saying that just because I'm here. I think fam, you got the baddest ones out of all of them. Yeah, like you, sweetheart. Look at you, how you doing? Ah, dang.

You so pretty, I beat my dick to your student ID picture. Like, oh, shit. Oh, I bet you get good, great. grace oh yeah you got a 3.9 don't you oh you look like you ran for miss something in one with your pretty ass I'm very nut all on your face on this card pretty ass mothful okay this type of nigga I'm ears but ladies I'm gonna tell y'all something especially all y'all beautiful black women in this building tonight man me tell y'all something listen ladies learn to love yourself first I stop waiting on

niggas to validate who and what you are learn to love yourself first that's the best thing you can do and stop letting Instagram shape your idea what a beautiful woman is that shit ain't real it's still successful men like myself that like real women I pay I love a real woman but then I pay attention to detail too like for example bitch if your bra and panties match every day you ain't the bitch with me I'm sorry that mean you ain't never rushing the class or nothing you mean to tell me you ain't never got no victoria secret bra and no hangs panties on bitch oh no you ain't the type of you ain't the type of girl i knees you don't work hard

enough whole you too worried about who see your underclothes bitch fuck wrong with you i'm telling you ladies that shit y'all see on instagram ain't real i'm famous i'm around all the bitches you see with all the followers they is not living like that i went over this bitch house you got six million your followers this bitch sleeping on a pallet do you know what a pallet is famu that's when you lay the sheets on the floor you got to sit down three times to get on this bitch bed it's like I I'm down here now bitch we got a fuck I can't believe you made me tell my ACL to come over here and get this poor ass pussy hell wrong with you I thought you had followers you be posting to your

shit bitch you need to post a bed frame ho making y'all think y'all got to do dumb shit ladies like get ass shots you don't need no ass shots you got a pussy you win God has given you all the tools you need to succeed Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the stream to make it to the other side.

My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network.

Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful

new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious. One in ten kids vape serious, which warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure, like yourself. Not the seriously know-it-all sports dad or the seriously smart podcaster.

It requires a serious conversation that is best had by you. No, seriously. The best person to talk to your child about vaping is you. To start the conversation, visit Talk Aboutvaping.org, brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council. And I don't think it's fair, ladies. I'm going to speak on it. I don't think it's fair on behalf of all the fellas.

I don't think it's fair that y'all get to go add 14, 15 inches to your ass and expect us to still give you pleasure with the dick, God gave us. That ain't fair. My dick was big as a motherfucker. Last week, now you're talking about it. I can't feel it. I bet you can't. I can't feel it.

I bet you can't put a love seat between me and the pussy. I can't get to it now. And you don't know what the long-term effects of them big ass's ears, fellas. Them shit's look good now, but these holes got all types of shit in their ass, nigger. Cement, jello, calf, egs, nigger. It's all types of shit in these bitches' ass. Look good now, but in 10 years that whole ass going to drop like a mixtape, you're going to be mad as a motherfucker.

She's going to need a bra for her breast and her ass. She's going to be cursing around around the house. Bitch, put your ass burn on so we can go to the movies like a real couple. Stop dragging that motherfucker around the house. I just got the copy cleaned. And I'm just saying ladies, everything ain't for everybody. It's homecoming week, man. It's going to be a lot of shit going on this week, but if you learn the love was for you, you won't get caught up in a lot of bullshit. Like, for example, if you can't handle your liquor this week, ladies, just be careful, all right? Don't nobody want to see your pretty ass in the club with your shoes off, tampon, string, hanging out. You do fucking, nobody want to see that shit, ladies. Learn was for you. Everything ain't for everybody. Everybody ain't got to be drunk. And I'm gonna say some shit that I know my defense. Some of y'all are saying here, but fuck it, they gotta be said. That going natural shit is not for everybody, ladies. I'm sorry. No disrespect. Some of y'all look good with it. Some of y'all look good with it. But, whew, some of y'all be looking like you got holding street grass on your head, bitch. I'm just saying, ladies, at least consult your man before you do this shit. You've been getting perms and she was in the third grade. You don't know. your real texture your head look like no more. And you can't come to my house one day

looking like the doctor miracle box and then come back the next day with the motherfucking Kodak black and just expect me to let you in. Hell no. Hell you did. And weave ain't for everybody either ladies. If you're going to give you some weave, get you some bundles. Some of that Malaysian, Asian, Malaysian shit. Don't get that pack here. That shit for little girl box braids and that's it. And be honest about the fact that you got weave. Don't just get comfortable with a nigga and fucking come out the bathroom and scared of shit out the whole house. That ain't fair. I had this girl do that shit to me one time.

She took her weave off and came out, a real ponytail look like a zip drive. I was like, damn, bitch. You got a jolly rancher sitting on top of your shit. You need to cut that, what's wrong with you? All I'm saying is is is homecoming. Don't get tricked out your coochie this week, ladies. Don't. A lot of these niggas just look like they got money.

These niggas got ball of costumes. It's not real. True story. You fuck him if you want to because he got on a thousand-dollar outfit in a bottle of mow at the club. You're gonna be mad as hell come Monday morning when you check that nigga Instagram and see him in that Waffle House uniform will work flow under the picture. You're gonna be like, oh my God, you're gonna be on the phone with your home girl. Kisha, if I tell you something, you guys swear to God, you ain't gonna tell nobody else. Remember that nigga I fucked out to the club, girl. This nigga worked at the Waffle House. No, one of them eggs he made was so good. This nigga's a professional. Fellas, piece of advice I can get to y'all, man. If anything, this is a nigger that went to a HBCU and live through what y'all to live through. Listen, man, learn to be honest. Keep it 100, man. It's the best thing you can do.

Like, watch this, watch this. Ladies, make some noise if you just want a nigger to be a hundred with you and keep it 100. All right, well let me ask y'all a question then, ladies. Why the fuck y'all get so mad when a nigga tell you the truth then if that's what you want? I don't understand. I don't understand. Ladies, if you want the truth, you got to be able to take it.

You got to be able to take it. What you say? I said, you got to start with the truth. I agree. You got to start with the truth. But listen, fellas, the reason. Fellas, the reason why I'm telling y'all this is because these ladies is slick than the motherfucker.

It's not that they don't like lies, they just don't like it and told them. Because these motherfuckers lie better than we ever could, nigger. Guaranteed. Ladies, y'all are so good, you'll start lying to a nigger right now about some shit you're going to do next homecoming. That's how good y'all is. All your friends know the plan and everything. Shit don't make no sense. And I'm telling you, fellas, like women are way more slicker than you can ever think.

Like, if you heard that new card of five, Wayne tell you on more. tell you on Mona Lisa just how slick these bitches can be. Especially if you talk about what you're going to do to the pussy and then don't do that. Ooh, we. It get ugly. And then the crazy thing is, ladies, we tell stupid lies. Y'all tell wicked lies. This is the type of lie a nigger tell.

Where the fuck was you at last night? Did? Yeah. I died. And I seen I missed your call and came back to life because we was going to the shoulder. My mom died. We just say some shit like that. Ladies, y'all tell wicked lies.

These are the type of lies. Y'all tell, oh, yes. Oh, daddy. Oh, it feels so good. Oh, shit. This is your pussy. Oh, this is your pussy. Yes.

Oh, shit. It's in my stomach. Oh, my God. It's in my stomach. No, the fuck, it's not, fellas. You be in there believing that shit, too. Yeah, it's in her stomach, nigga. I got appetite dick.

No, you don't. The stomach is up here, young nigga. You do not have enough dick to reach up here. And if you was hitting her to which she felt like it was in her She would not be able to tear you in a complete sentence, nigger. You're fucking a bitch like that. She's going to be like, oh, sure. Take some more away, you fucking be like that.

You ain't never heard that, fellas. Your bitch is a liar. And then they keep the lie going. They keep it going. They be like, oh, my God. Oh, shit. Oh, I'm so sleepy. Oh, my God.

I might miss my 8 o'clock in the morning. Fucking with you, big man. And they can still be believing that shit. Yeah. I didn't fuck the education out this bitch. She don't even want to work no more because of this dick. She hit you with to text me when you get back to your room. Soon as you walk out the door, first thing she'd do was pick that phone up and getting that group chat.

We're all the home girls, nigger. And tell all your business. Girl, you ain't gonna believe this nigga came over here talking about he was gonna do to my pussy, pour this dick out. It looked like a salt and pepper shaker, bitch. I was like, oh, what you can't do with that little man? do with that low man what you're gonna seize in the pussy get your lord dick ass out here little short dick ass nick that's how they talk about you fellas but ladies i'm gonna tell y'all

something you this is not gonna be popular opinion but it's y'all fault we lie it's y'all because y'all lie to us about us and they act like you mad when the niggas start believing the lie that you tell think about it like i'll give you a perfect example of how y'all lie ladies And how fucked up this is that y'all do this and get mad in us because we full of shit when y'all full us up with the shit that we full of. Watch this. Real quick experiment on behalf of Chico Bean and Family Homecoming. All my niggins in the building make some noise. All right. Now I need all my niggas in the building and fam you to got a little dick to make some noise. Yep, that's what I thought.

Now watch this. Ladies, make some noise if it's some little dick niggas if fam, you. One of y'all bids about to get beat the fuck up. Who what the fuck you talk about? You said it was in your stomach. Now, who fault is it that we line? Ain't no nigger make no noise, but all y'all made noise. So either y'all ain't tell her niggas they shit little, or you're lying.

So ladies, which one is it? Exactly. So shut the fuck up. I'm getting lied too, goddamn it. But I'm out to get out of here, because we got a dope show on deck for y'all, but I want to leave y'all with something that's very, very important to me doing a homecoming. You know what I'm saying? This is very important to me.

Now, I'm from Washington, D.C., born and raised in D.C., appreciate you all five of y'all. But whenever I come to a HBCU man, I always like to let it be known and I'm a product of an HBCU And I know everybody that's sitting in here got some type of goal or some type of dream or some type of vision Let me tell you something I come from nothing I grew up with nothing and everything that I got I made myself But I made it right out of a building just like this one y'all sitting in right now and everybody that's sitting here We got a special type of power man it ain't usually that black people get to get together like this and build man we got the greatest energy on this planet so y'all utilize that energy while y'all here and make the best out of this shit and get out in the world and be great my nigger because they try to play us like we ain't shit

but we the greatest of we the greatest period so know that know that you know that you know what I'm saying whatever you want to do like I did a lot of shit in college I didn't think I was going to do I joined the fraternity I didn't think I would ever do no shit like that I'm a street nigger I didn't think I could be able to do no shit like that but I did it I'm an alpha I'm an alpha for those who want to know salute to all the alphas uh in here. Is the alpha's cool on campus? Cool. That's what it is. Y'all niggas be a little too cool sometimes, though, bro.

Like you niggas cannot dress up sometimes, nigga. You niggas will wear hard bottoms to play basketball. Like, bro, chill. What the fuck? Shit don't make no sense. Cappas? Any capers in the building? They don't fuck with you. Why they let you sit by yourself, nigga? What the fuck? God damn. Yeah, you're the only one in here, nigga. Noops. Fuck with noops. You nukes. You nigg. You nigg. loved with flip-flops, don't you, boy? You put your regular shoes on a date,

but you love them rainbow flip-flops, don't you, nigga? That move is so sensitive, you, nigga. Our niggas break out with that shit. Oh, oh, this nigga is twerking. in the club. Sigmas? Any sigmas in here? Uh, no sigmas? Oh, nigger, you came with us. Put your fucking hands down.

You don't go here. They're all wrong with you. Them niggas be too aggressive with that they call and shit. They call this fucking ridiculous. Blue, five. You, no, no, nigga, I don't know. And why the fuck are you yelling at me? Cues. I love y'all shit my nigger sound like you get your dick suck this you doing it good

What I old is that? All right. Deltas. Deltas. She don't fuck with y'all. A.K.A.A.s. Yeah. Y'all don't even realize that the K.S.

K's is saying skeet, n' ain't, nah, n' ain't, hey, n'ay. Every time I used to run up on a K, I'd be like, baby, I was wondering if you would make me skit. Zetas? All right, you've been waiting to do that all day, haven't you? S.G. Rose? She said, whirr.

Sound like you eat pussy with that tongue, man. Just plan. Just plan. When I called all them organizations out and say all of this, man, and just say again, man, fam you, I love y'all. My name is Chico Bean. And listen, man, this is the doping shit in the world.

Being at the HBCU and attending one and graduating from one and going to one and partying and living, this is the best shit ever. y'all part of that man salute to y'all happy homecoming fam you hold on hold on hold on hold on y'all thought i was leaving psych bitch this shit about to be lit lit nigga as fuck as you're talking about now i'm about to bring my partner up to the stage man my motherfucking brother man the coldest nigger doing this shit right now y'all about to see him you know what i mean if you watch wiling out

you know we do the old school battle If you watch the 85 South Show, you know the niggas the motherfucking anchor of the team. But if you're in this building right now at Famu at Homecoming, you're about to see him right here live on this stage. So Famu, I need y'all to start making some noise. Stop making some noise. Stop making some noise. I'm about to bring my nigga to the stage right now. So I need all of y'all niggas in here to get loud.

My nigga about to come up here and ride the damn stage. And I already think y'all niggas know his damn name. He outta Mississippi, and he'd be fucking with me My nigga got them jokes And I swear you gonna be giggily So with no further ado, I bring to you The motherfucking 85 South Show crew Make some noise for Palos, Moodoo!

Hey, that's it? Hold on, hold up, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's all the claps I get. Y'all clap like I rode to this motherfucker with y'all. What? Oh, that's some bullshit. I thought we was better than that, fam, you. Damn, I thought we was better than that.

No love. Y'all don't know what I've been through to get here. I drove all way down here from Atlanta with the weed stuffed in my shoe. And get here, and these niggas don't clap. Why y'all got so many police officers at the show? God damn. They back there threatening me and shit.

I lost where the weed in my body? What the fuck? I do not have none on me, Mr. Officer. Shout out to that one Miss Officer lady with that big ass bull. I might do something just so you can search me. God damn, ma'am. You ever seen an ass so big you have to say it two times?

Like, that's a big ass ass. She got one, too. I like it down here, bro. This is a strange little place, man. Yeah, this place strange as hell because everybody got a little attitude, bro. I went to subway and got into it with the little gay dude.

He behind the counter making the sandwich. You're going to ask, you want the extra meat. I don't even want the sandwich, bro. He's trying to start some shit. I don't usually talk about gay people. I almost got jumping by some gay dudes after one show. I came back.

outside they was laying on my car like this they was mad as he as soon as they saw me and they were like uh-uh say what you said say what you said uh-uh say the joke that you said say what the fuck you said the only thing that scared me with this little hand say what you said how they're going to put the school right in the middle of the hood You got crack heads walking around. I was outside smoking. One lady walked up to me. Young man, you want to buy some sexual activities.

Hell no. What are you doing out here, Miss Dirty-Azlater? I like this shit, bro. I can tell y'all been smoking, too. I can tell who high. I see you in here just doing the highland. It ain't stupid, hell, boy. Shit, I'm fucking, buddy, you know what I'm saying?

Man, if you in college, smoke weed, smoking weed make you smart. You ever get high and get smart, figure out some smart, don't shit? Like, hey. can you wear house shoes in the apartment the people you smoking with just as as you yeah because even though this an apartment this is your house you know because home is where your heart is I like to get high and figure out shit that's what I do you ever get high and figure out some shit like hey what color is a mirror Look y'all had that nigger

Why y'all got these crowns on? What y'all win? What the fuck is the woo? Homecoming court? The royal court? For what? All you need is a hat. So y'all like some... Y'all like about to win some shit or something?

Y'all already... What the Mexican do with no hat when? Where your fucking hat at, bro? I don't trust this thing, bro. You're going to be stealing all the black girls. Oh, yeah, what? We might have to jump him. You're still in our women.

Where you from, bro? You're Palestinian? Let me quit fucking with you for you blow this bitch up. They call his uncle, what the fuck did he say? What did he say? No, he doesn't embarrass my family. What do he say? I blow the bitch on today, I don't take no fuck.

All I know the Palestinians. I know the Palestinians, I know y'all. They can be working in the mall. My friend, come with for you. What do you want to pay? Me and you make deal. I'm just fucking with you, dog. Please don't blow me up.

Bro, this shit is so funny because I see some women in here can't even laugh at this shit because they got the waist trailers on. They ain't hit you're giggling. He's stupid. A little freak ass. Fellas, make sure you eat pussy.

Lay down. Don't put your ass in the air. Don't do that. What if somebody break in? You're gonna shoot your freaky ass and your booty out, my nigga. Real niggas, don't eat pussy with their ass in the air. Lay down.

Just a little advice I wanted to give y'all for home. coming. Where does white girl come from? You go to school here? Man, white girl scared a shit out of me. I did not expect to see no white lady to see that. Because y'all do backwards-ass shit. Like you'll be walking down the street

and you see a white lady coming towards you and she clutch her purse. That is the most offensive shit ever because this bitch thinks she's stronger than me. Allison, you're vegan. You're not stronger than a real nigga. Give me that shit see how easy that was let me stop this too real for y'all she go up hell telling y'all stupid shit like tell these women the truth bray you'll never get a woman telling her the truth

see a quiet shit got that's the real they're not telling us the truth that's not her the true? That's not a real hell, nigger, that whole shit. Come on. Shout out to all the women who got their homecoming lace front on right now. That shit looked like a real hairstyle. We don't even know that's a lace front.

It's about three weeks from now. When they got them forehead edge and start peeling off. It ain't even on her head no more. She's just wearing that bitch like a fitted hat. I'm talking to the girl backstage. She scratched her head. A whole hairstyle.

Oh, you're the dude all right now, ain't. They said y'all was coming. You stupid as hell. I guess she got hot. She was like, when is gonna be back on? Cause, well, whey your shit, bro.

Way your shit, bro. Talking about natural hair ain't for everybody. Yes, it is. Way your shit. Way your shit. You're a fuck. What it looks. like even if your pony tail look like the end of a blunt weigh your shit I'll tell you

what you can stop doing though y'all gotta stop wearing the fake eyelashes that shit is ridiculous yeah because y'all really believe that we believe your eyelashes this long shit gotta stop I let this girl spend the night over my house she gonna get up early and take her fake eyelashes off and try to sneak and throw them away but forgot them and left from on the bare room counter. I go in the bear from the peat. I think we got fucking tarantulas. And what kind of roach is that?

Okay. I'll have about a few minutes left. I gotta get... Who is that laughing like a nigga father? I don't like this guy. How has homecoming been going so far? Y'all have joined this shit? I heard you

had a shootout last night that bit lit already shootout on the first night niggas not playing is everybody all right what you somebody say yeah somebody said no

amen y'all avoid all that bullshit it's so much bullshit to get into this weekend make sure you do the right thing bro look out for your people you don't want your people to come up missing. Get shot. Watch out for your home girl now. Make sure don't

nobody fuck with a cup. There's a lot of weird shit going on, bro. And especially make sure you have safe sex this weekend. Especially if you're a young black person. Because they try to make it seem like we're the only ones who get AIDS. Have you ever noticed

that? You'll be watching TV in there, wrap it up commercial, come on, scare everybody in the house? Say some shit like, one in three black people have age. You're like, shit, it's two. people on the couch that means somebody in this house sick and won't say nothing what kind of shit it's funny but it's real okay because are you ready bro because we got a whole lot of show going on the night bro I don't know if these people even watch the 85 self-show

So you already know who this podcast is for. This podcast is for real hood niggas that go to college. They don't know how to fry chicken on a George Forman grill. This podcast that we're doing right now, this is going to be for all the chicks and fam you that keep snacks under their bed. Much love to all these kids. camera people right here who gonna be taking pictures that ain't nobody ever gonna see.

When the white niggas be stealing pictures. Uh-uh. Alright, pause. Met that nigger in my grandma church. What are seniors at, the people who bound to graduate and shit. Okay, what a two years there? They in here? We got any sophomores there? We got any freshmen?

I don't want nobody to feel left out. Is there somebody who just go to school? You don't really know what your class is. You're a full. few credits away from claiming a class you a grand student shout out to the grand students in there bitch and all the alumni amen I don't know if y'all know but this not just a comedy show right here this is the 85 South Show show This is a podcast right here, bro.

We got some special guests in the house for y'all tonight. To all the ladies in the place, let the ladies make some noise one time. Are y'all in here? Well, look, I bought one of my home girls out here with me tonight. And I know you may have seen her on Instagram talking shit real loud, looking for her long-lost boyfriend. She's sitting over here. I want y'all to show some love, welcome to the stage. My home girl, Ms. B. Simone.

It's the city girls, and you know where I'll fuck you so get my face. Before I touch do ho, don't you know, can't you understand if you fuck with me, I'll take your men. Bitch, I know I'll take your me at home. Don't play with me. Hold up, hold up. Talk some shit to these ladies. I look thick.

I ain't taking nobody's man. I cannot fight. Keep you in. Where my ladies at? Doesn't he say, baby, girl? I love y'all so much. It's my first time out here. Y'all came to fuck out.

I represent for the ladies. I'm the only lady on this day. So ladies, make some noise. Come on us. What? Stop looking at me like that. I was just letting them know you was in here and shit. What the rest of the game get?

Because we got a little game that we want to. Y'all want to play a game or something? Let me get the rest of the 85 South Show cast members out here. Shout out the Chico Bean, AKA Young Gucci, man. That nigga got on Gucci everything. What Clayton in? He's not over there? Yeah.

Turn that microphone. Yeah. We out here. Y'all still having a good time, fam, are you? It don't sound like it. I said y'all having a good time in this motherfucker? All right. Check, yeah.

Okay, so. You ready for this part? We're about to play a game right here because all of y'all that know B. Simone knows that she's looking for what? Yeah, my mom. Y'all better say you bitch, I'm looking for one. Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to play a dating game here at FAMU

and we're going to find one of y'all good fellas here at FAMU. Hold on, Chico, before we do this? Ladies, do y'all think it's some good men here or no? Because I'm scared. Damn. Stop hating. It got to be one out of all these niggas. You don't think it's one?

Let me see. Turn the lights up. Oh, there's one in here. Nigger, don't come up here if you got a bitch. I cannot fight. I'm not fighting the bitch, okay? Hey, man. My man.

Sir, have a scene, sir. Sit down, bro. You got too many holes in your jeans, niggas, sit down. But we need some volunteers. We need about, how many you think dudes? You think about four dudes? Probably three. Three dudes.

We need three dudes that would love to get an opportunity to date. They're going to date with, y'all already got them on. We already got them. your ass down my bad little man my band little oozy vert body go ahead sit down my yeah no paddock of my wrist why don't that's you built like you gonna lead them niggas alone the capers are already gonna beat your ass oh I know they gonna come up and be like this what you say you're gonna get beat up by a nigger with

chapstick oh they go right there I so where where fellas that so Carlos you kick the show all I'm gonna be the I'm gonna be the host that's over here on the side with the fellas let me go over here and meet the fellas they gonna sit next to you no I don't want them to sit next to me I don't know who it is yet okay so you just gonna send them back off real yeah you y'all stay next to me why you don't trust these thing bro you got some day some dating game music over here come on dating game yeah I can see no bitch is from here.

Y'all so classy. Hey, big glasses on. They can see germs. Ha ha! Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing

all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer.

Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated.

Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed, and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of Tangled Up

identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of family secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And here's Heather with the weather. Well, it's beautiful out there, sunny and 75, almost a little chilly in the shade. Now, let's get a read on the inside of your car. It is hot. You've only been parked a short time, and it's already 99 degrees in there.

Let's not leave children in the back seat while running errands. It only takes a few minutes for their body temperatures to rise, and that could be fatal. Cars get hot, fast, and can be deadly. Never leave a child in a car. A message from Nitsa and the Ad Council. He's going to take them off now. No, leave them shit alone. Who you got over there, Chico?

I got our contestants, and I think we're ready to start the show off. Miss B Simone can't see him. No, you can't see them. All right. So this right here is Find You Abu, FAMU, all right? Find you a boo, the Fam U edition. Homecoming, 2018. Do we got any game show music?

Oh, his shit ain't on? Turn my man's shit on. Fuck it, just place on. Come on, man. Who in charge? Play some. Place something. Chico, we got a dating show going on.

Welcome back to Fam U. Homecoming. addition of Find Your Boo. If you're lonely and need a friend, come to the show and we'll put you in. We know some dudes who don't have jobs. They go to college so they don't sell and rob. And introduce, let's bring them up, Chico.

Can we get them over here? All right, let's bring our three contestants up. First of all, before we bring you up, my name is Chico B, and I'm your second host here for Finds You a Boofamu. Your name, sir? Pierre Alcette. Hey, he don't talk like that for real.

Mr. Pierre. Mr. Pierre. Oh, wow. Oh, it looked like she want to meet him. You put a lot of bass in your voice there, sir. Good job. Who do we have here? Jordan Sealy.

Oh, wait a minute. Everybody quiet down. Everybody quiet down. At a second. Hey, look, I've got no, I don't got all that base, all right? You got the juice, right? He don't even speak English. I can't, what?

Your name is what? Jordan Sealy. Jordan. Okay. And then last but not least, we have. Kamal Presley. Comeal Presley. And these of our three contestants.

Okay. These are our three contestants that are going to be attempting to find love for Ms. B. Simone. Let's get you guys up here. Make some noise for your contestant. It is it. This shit gonna be ghetto is here. I could tell my god. Oh, they so fine. Stand behind this curtain, fellas.

I gotta be behind the curtain. All right, you gotta be behind the curtain, right? Two of them is they game to lose. All right. All right. So, Carlos, we have Ms. B. Simone here. You got the first contestant up there, shuffle them up so we can just ask them some random questions.

Okay, you guys, you guys are shuffled a little bit. Shuffle them up. All right. Shuffle them up. Hey, man, whoever's on the camera, stop showing these things. I know, I'm not supposed to see them, cameraman. Camera, dude. It's supposed to be suspense. This nigga doing the shit out his job.

He like, fuck that. They ain't fucking my checkup. Everybody getting shown. I knew he was gonna be serious because he got them leprechaun shoes on with the one buckle. Oh, yeah, them the Iqabod cranes. You got on them Frederick Douglaces.

They don't get your goddamn, fall and forth to carry me home. When you take them shoes off, you gotta put them in your pocket. your pocket. All right. Let's get to the first question. First question, B. Simone. Do you have any? If we were to go on our first date, where would we go? All right. First, we have John, correct? Jordan, my bad. Don't tell me the names, Chico. I'm not supposed to know who's talking. You can know the name. You can know any names. It's too late. It's your freak ass. I don't want to know his name. I just want to keep the suspense.

All right, so tell Ms. B. Simone where you would take her on your first date. It depends where I met her at. Nigger, you met her at Fam U on the stage. That ain't got shit to do with it, but behind a curtain. That's where you met at. Now what's your answer? It depends on where I met her at. It depends on where I met her at.

It depends on what kind of shoes I got on. Is it false? Shut up. It depends on what our favorite color is. What? Now that you know where you met her at, Where the fuck y'all going? You met her here at Famu, Jordan, okay?

So let's just say this. You met her here at fucking Patty's foot. I don't know. You met her here, all right? Yeah. Hey, if I met her in front of Patty foot, no, no, no. You met her here. Where would you take her on the first date?

You already talk too much. You're fucking it up. Talked yourself out the pussy. Hey, look, look, hey, I'm taking you to the cab first. Oh, baby. He said to the cab. You're going to the cab. I'm a swipe you in. No, I got you.

You talk about the cafeteria. All right. He said he's going to take you to the cafeteria. Hey, man, fuck y'all. This college, that's a date. I like to eat. That's good. Yep, it sure is a thing.

All I love them, Chico. All right. All right. So we got one cafeteria. One is going to take you on a date to the calf. And how about you, sir? The museum, probably. The museum?

What museum is in Tallahassee that you would be taking her to? I thought he was calling me fat. Like, bitch, we go into the gym. The Black Archives could work. Okay, the Black Archives. Oh, that's nice. Okay. The Black Archive, he would take it to the Black Archive.

Ladies, hold on, let me at you. You've been to look through George Washington Carver experience. Ladies, would that work if a thing that took you to the Black Archives? Yes. Yes. They like it. That's something different. That's just.

I'm tired of dealing with these hudels. I didn't know how you could transition from that. Yeah, they ain't had to do Rosa like that. Shit, what's up? All right, and last but Latinese, where would you take Ms. B. Simone on the first day? Four or three? Well, I know I go to share you.

I'm hasten, so I love to eat. And I would take it a chick for a link, spend a couple flex bucks, you know what I'm saying? Y'all work more than all the flex bucks in the world. world yes back snigger rich in college money first of all but take it down to chick-fil-a extra polynesia sauce big lemonade flex dollars all that algebra homework okay and uh and then out of the chick-fil-a there's a little walkway between fs u and fairview so i can take on the walkway and

sure what we could go and could be, you know, and then just take off from now. Okay. Okay. All right. Hey, man. Stop hating on my future. All right. And another quick note.

That must have been a good answer. The white girl went and set out. Oh, my fucking guy. I cannot. He is so cool. I love hikes. I love hikes. And all right. And just to let you guys, know the winner of this competition will get a hundred dollars they get a

date but they gonna get a hundred dollars to take you out with oh to take me out yeah so you don't just be in the cafeteria get bananas and turkey sandwiches exactly so miss be Simone you got your first you got your first answer okay we're gonna give them three questions and then we're gonna do our first elimination so second question okay second question what should I ask Second question? Oh, I don't know. What's important to you?

Like, Mitch, what you care about? Yeah. Um. I got a question to the contestants. If B. Simone called you and told you she might be pregnant. First response. What was your be your first response? Let's go.

That's why. See? What is your credit for? Put them on the clock. Put them on the clock. Put them on the clock. Wait, is this before or after we met? You pregnant?

How the fuck you get, man? Who the fuck is you? Never mind. Bro. This is why you don't have a boyfriend right here. Be so long. It's before, after we think. That's about chronological order.

First answer, you ready? Be Simone. What is your credit school? God damn. He said, what is your credit school? What does that have to do with the baby? fuck does that have to do with anything but you fucking are wrong you goofy hey man all right you got to strap it up buddy second answer second answer he just proved why you can't just be out here

fucking anybody second answer what would your response be okay that's a good if they know okay and last but last but what would your response be so you know I'm hasten so hey man you can't start everything with that shit My father, I was a Haitian soul. Wait, let him answer. Brough. Saq-Pase, let him answer. I will, you know, we'll be growing up about the situation.

I have to evaluate her again because I'm... Hey, that's the coldest nigger ever. I would have to evaluate her situation. A wise man told me, when you're looking to a woman in eyes, can you see a future with her? And if I see a future with you, DiSimon, hey, do what we do. So what you did? You fucked with your eyes closed?

You fucked with your ass closed the whole time? I'm not going to look. You're just not looking in the ass? Okay. Okay. All right. So we got our second answer. Now, final question before our first elimination.

Final question. Who you got? Oh, one more. One more. She said, what are your goals? No. You don't care about a nigga goals? I don't care about that.

I'm trying to get down the aisle. You don't care about a nudge? I do, but he obviously got goals. He in college. That don't mean, okay. Some of these motherfuckers out here still taking reading classes fucking around. All right, third question, Ms. B. Simone.

She said what the bank account looked like. Flex dollars. Pick, bank, take little bank. I don't know. How many kids do you want? No, fuck the kids. All right. Chico, you got one?

Yes. I actually, I'll ask, I'll ask the third and final question. Okay. All right. Now, Tico, be nice. I am going to be nice, but I want to see what these guys are going to do if they get the opportunity to take you on a date. A lot of people give bad men, I mean, black men, excuse me, a bad rap. And they say that black men aren't faithful.

Black men don't cheat. So, what would you tell B. Simone about your. ability to be faithful if you were with her you don't you don't have nothing to say you don't have nothing to say get me in trouble that's what you have a girl with you already have a girlfriend? What the fuck are you doing up here that, nigga? You're talking about somebody getting you in trouble. You got to scrap. What is wrong with this nigga?

Brow. That's the nigga that can't speak English anyway. His girlfriend must not know English. I asked him about being faithful. Didn't he want to be faithful? You reminded that nigga, he was like, bro, speaking of being faithful, my girl over there.

All right, so fuck it. Here you go, champ. What's it? I mean, once I give you the title, I mean, I'm gonna be faithful, so I mean, shit, before that. Man. All right, let's go to this guy right here. We already know you Haitian, so I'm hurt to me that out.

Just bring him around. I want that to be my end. You know, I mean, I'm hasten, so, you know. At the end of the day, you know, they say, Haitian men are the most faithful men in the world. So she already knew from the jump, who she's, knew from the jump who she was dealing with. Dee Simone, I'm your man.

Let's do that. I like him. I like him, Chico. Bring that nigga around, boy. I'm sorry, she chose my man right here, so I need y'all to make some noise for the winner. There you go. There you go.

Yeah, that thing is definitely Haitian, bro. Wait, wait, I didn't see the shoes. Go back. Ah! God, you got you. You're a pilgrim, sift. Okay, I'll shake my mind. This is a pilgrim.

Got me. Hey, hey. Well, y'all know I'm hate it, right? Wonderful. Hey, hey. Hey. Oh, I can't ever read. Hey, man.

I didn't even see those, man. You got on the African Uber drivers right there. Put in the fuck with that. Oh, I can't never have it all. Fuck. Let me tell you some. Let me tell you some. If you did me any off my shoes, I don't know if I can be with you.

Okay. Because at the end of the day. I don't know, hot, hot, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't know if I could be with you. We all know why you were behind that curtain. Yes, ma'am. Let's keep it cute. Yes, ma'am.

But we don't have to work on that before our first date. Of course. That's all I ask. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Do you have other options, my name? Of course. Be Simone, can you tap dance when he start tap dance?

At the end of the day, I'm Haysen. My name is Pierre Olsen, and I approve his business. Shut out. Wait, wait, wait. Before you go, time out. Before you go, you have been telling us that you Haitian and given a reason for why you do what you do and saying you Haitian. So could you please tell us why you pick those wallets?

where there's a motherfucker show tonight. Them the same shoe, Martin Luther King got shot in. Yeah. With the cuff on the answer. Listen, listen, listen. What? Then you got to go. James rode up like a sass-ass auntie.

What? Yeah, hey, Carlo. And they got the living single jeans on boy. We are living, hey, single. Ooh, in the 90, got a way. deep kind of world. I'm glad I got my... Ro, you cups up. That's right.

All right, so please tell your counterpart's hair family why you decided to wear the Jesse Jackson's to campus today. Well, any class of Haitian man always owns a pair of these. Is that then a day? I know every Haitian student here knows that their

dad owns one of these and he wears them with no socks on properly. Because Haitian, sometimes we don't wear lotion. You know what I'm saying? Because we got good ankles, and we're trying to show how we can support her throughout our journey in life. That's how we become faithful.

So your ankles off, brothers. So your ankles off. This man said I got... Shut out to all the Haitians who got church shoes on. Hell yeah. We fuck with y'all the long way. He's the only one.

You look like the nigga that came to fight to Chala in... I challenge you. Nah. So now that you have won a hundred dollars and a date with be Simone, where are you really officially going to take her to on your first day? Oh, we got $100. Oh, we got $100. The what? We got $100.

We're going to drop about two hours to go to the beach, you know, at night. Yeah. And then I'm going to bring the speaker in the light. And he's going to run on the sand with his pants rolled up. But no, I mean, honestly, I'm not really a guy that, you know, a guy that really focuses on the big things, you know what I'm saying? Oh. You about to fuck it up. That's what happened. Every time you be this close to get some fellas, you say something else, you get too deep and fuck it up. Well, basically,

what I want everybody to know is, I thought the nigga was going to say, well, you know, I'm Haitian, so I'm keeping that goddamn money. But ladies and gentlemen, look, man, make some noise for our winner and your fam, you. Find you a bull winner. Alright. Thanks, brother. Pierre. That's his name? Pierre.

Yeah, Pierre. Pierre St. Claude. Bitch. Chico, you was... Hey, both of y'all niggas got on old niggas shoes. Y'all need to hang out together. Get us... Whoa!

Y'all gonna turn into the nigger rangers if y'all put two more players. These things are gonna start this. Challenge! Chico, you were supposed to catch that before he walked around. Hey, hey, I don't know what you like. You might like niggins in old shoes. I don't know what you went to. He tried to sell us on the ankles, and that was strong ankles.

What? Clayton, didn't you used to go to school here, bro? Yeah, man. What type of shit you all used to get into? Not that. Didn't nobody do that when I was here. No, it's something to do every night if you don't want to focus on school. Like what?

Like, what is there to get into around? Shit, everything. All these little clubs and little parties. y'all be going to top flight that's for the that's for the old people that's where you go get you a cougar you get you a cougar at top flight you can meet a bitch name beverly two names shit the last time we came to tallahassee they had us at this club called play oh tell us about it nigger i thought i'm gonna tell you how i thought they was planned too true story fam you these motherfuckers had our food in the girls bathroom uncovered chicken

women walking in there pissing and everything I'm like you think I'm fin to eat some pussy wings you crazy as am that was a true story they had the food set up in the green room in the bathroom I was like I'm not eating that no man I hope you see fam treat you a little bit better they got more money

now this shit right somebody daddy somebody daddy sold me a fish plate right outside he didn't need masks for the money go here you straight I know what I'm about to do I'm about to go out here and see who the fuck we got in Man, start this thing. All right, let's go.

You need the spotlight. We got in here. Yeah. Oh, eh. Got my lab, man. See who we got in here tonight. Oh, hey, fucking wit, dude. I am you, what it do.

Hey, we out here with you. Uh, uh, all right. All right. All I smoke is get. Hey, that's the Royal Court right there. Hold up. We got the Royal Court right here. Y'all makes a noise for y'all.

That's the Royal Court. That's them. All right. All right. So what's your name and what is your position on the Royal Court? Alarja Case of Royal Escort. You are Royal Escort? Oh, man.

So you just got voted to walk motherfuckers around the parade, huh? All right, that's what it is. Well, Royal Escort, okay, and you are beautiful? My name is Crystal Hagan. I'm freshman attendant. Yeah. They like Crystal. They fucking with you, Crystal.

All right. Crystal? Crystal. Christel. Like the, Chris Steele, like the wine? Your mama must have been fucking a dope dealer when she named you. I'm gonna name my baby Christel, not Cristal. Now, what is your position in tell?

You're the freshman, what? Freshman attending. So you attend to the freshman? Yeah, I guess, yeah. Shout out to FAMU 22, yo. Oh, okay. FAMU 22? But that's like 700 people.

Did that mean y'all was born at like 99, 2000? Don't do that man, bro. Damn, I do that man, bro. Chico, so you saying these are back that ass up children? Yes. But a 99 and a 2,000. Yes. Wow.

Oh, my God. And you are champ? Adrian fine, a royal escort. Yo, new. Okay. He thought they was going to be louder than that. He did. He didn't know they were sitting at the time.

All right. All right, so, okay, you, yo, yo, all right. So, what is your position? What do you do? I escort my attendant, Kamaya. Okay, you're an escort. Okay, and you are all the fellas right here are escorts. Yeah, don't talk to them if they ain't got no crown on.

They're not serious. They're just a male gold digger. They just, oh, you won? Let me escort you. Let me walk with you. Okay. And you are beautiful? I'm Kamaya Miller.

Um, I'm Miss Junior. Salute all the juniors in the building. And you are beautiful. Jocelyn Binyard, Mr. Senior attendant. Okay. Yeah. Shout out to the dude from Pakistan.

That's what's up, man. He's about to blow up. And you are? I'm heima the schema. Heima the schema. That ain't how you say that shit. how you say that shit. What is there in Teela?

He, the schemer? Yeah. You know who he is? This is negative being in the mall trying to get you to put that shit on your skin when you walk past the kiosk. Please, please, please come here, please. Please, please. Please, did you wash your hand today? Please, please.

Don't walk away, man, please. Come, please. Let me please. What do you use on your skin? Please, please. Let me please. Stop that shit, man. All right.

And you are beautiful. Dominique Parks, the graduate attendant. Okay. Yeah. Like, you don't play no games, Ms. Donovan. Not any of them. Look at you, you got a boyfriend, Dominie? You do?

Is he here? No, well, fuck him then. All right. Shouldn't let you come out here by yourself with you looking all good like that. What's up with you? What's your name, champ? They called me Lewis.

I mean, they're real. What the fuck? What is he said? Goody Lewis, my name real. I kind of like that stupid shit, though. Man, you better talk how you talk. Shut up, baseball. Like, man, you 21, mess, no.

Yeah, yeah, go to be real. Ain't nobody understand. None, you say, Slim Jesus. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? All right, and you are, you have a big crown on. Big ground. Big ground. That's that girl from the princess and the frog.

And you are? Imani, Hydea Cooper, the 112, Miss Florida, Agricultural, and Mechanical. Hell yeah. Yeah, let's go. God, damn. Give it up. Whoa. You just said that shit.

And you are, don't sit down. Who are you? Miles Millsat, the 19th, Mr. Florida, agricultural, and mechanical university. Yeah, yeah. Time out, time out, time out, everybody. This nigga forgot who he is. he is. He said the 19th Florida Agricultural

and Technical University. You're the 19th what? Nick, what are you? 19th, Mr. Fam, you shout out to the good brothers, 06. Shout out to the gay bros. Is that what you're saying? Oh, that's not what that man's like that.

Hey, I don't know that one. And shout like he said that. Shout out to the gay bros. We are. Salute to the gay brus. No, man. Don't be star. He said, good brother. That's most. What the What the gay brothers say? They'd be like, wee, we!

Yeah. YAH! Yeah! Ice. Yoss. Yase. Wee-wee. All right, and I know you ain't nobody.

You're just sitting here. Niggins, stop playing. All right. All right, well, come on, Plas. What's up with you name? They don't get your, you on my rock, rock, rock, rock. rock rock rock rock rock rock hit like a block block block block block block block niggas get bop blah blah blah blah blah blah there's it talk talk talk talk hey hey hi now who are you who are you

fuck a shooter all my own shoe hey my name is percy henry the third percy henry the third from brookly new york crib all day all right and i'm the student advisor you see it look it right up oh oh oh oh no you talk about person with the oh oh no you talk about person with the cul-de-sac oh no you're talking about person he a pastor he a pastor he a pastor Y'all shouldn't do that, man. Who's no, person? We're just fucking with your person. Percy, I have a question.

Did you say from Brooklyn, New York, Crip? All right? So this is how it go, right? Who's from New York in the building? So you say, right? So if I was from Miami, I say I'm from the Old So Live 305. But since I'm from Brooklyn, I'm going to say, I'm from Brooklyn. Hey y'all ain't all of you made that up sir you made that up they don't know you made time out

that's what wrong with niggas y'all heard me fam you asked this nigga that he say crib and this nigger answered every question but the one i answered them you said the crib oh from the crib i thought you said crip like the game Percy, Percy, Percy, man. Your forehead too big for you to be so stupid, man. Forehead wide, man. Chico leave Percy alone. He got a spot on his mind, okay?

Leave that boy alone. Hey, man. You're right. All right, what's up, man? We got my man right here. Biggie Smalls in the motherfucking building. Biggie Small. Biggie Smalls.

I'm the endless. All right what's your name big home Christopher Dorisellis what do you do big Chris? All right so I'm a brother to bait a new chapter of Alpha File from attorney Incorporated shout out to the good bras all right big boy all right so uh what do you do they got you sitting right here big ass nigger who's gonna move I'm just telling I'm the bodyguard man you're the bodyguard with a coat like that on boy you yeah hey man he's supposed to He do blend in. He do blend in.

That's why the nigger dressed like bushes. But I'm clean, though. As a motherfucker, they don't never let nobody tell you that you ain't. Make some noise with my big homer right here. Who we got right here? Hey, I'm The Andre Peoples and I'm a third-year political science student from Saginaw, Michigan. And I start as a royal escort. Damn, DeAndre, you look like the old ditty.

Did he? Take that. And how about you, champ? Taran Hedgerton, and I serve as a royal escort for this beautiful sophomore attendant. He's a really... You'll get your sexy wannabe. He's a really nice guy. She's doing better than him.

He's trying to hold on it there with everything he got. All right, and you are beautiful? Greetings. I am Imani Thomas and I serve as your Miss sophomore attendant for the 2018-2019 school year. And I'm from Tallahassee Flores a game. There you go. I like her because she's small and hood. She's like, yeah, I'm representing.

Gang, gang, gang. I like that type of shit. Hell yeah. Like, she's going to do her homework, but she will fight a bitch when she finished. Dang, and she stood up, the floor. There is. Oh, I love Hood women so much.

And you are, you all, you are? First of all, before I speak, I just want to let everybody know something. There's only one real. crib and that's Day County in the building say yo woohoo let me get two caps in the strike I am Martin Nicholas King of Orange and Green from Miami, Florida

get it right ain't no chair in the building yeah Day County already ain't no cheer let's get right shout out of DC I went to McGillie Tech yeah uh huh that nigga plugged in on the streets did you see how they was like Hey, man

I don't know what the fuck Everybody else got going on But that nigga know the people that do this shit I tried to jump in He plugged all the way They even made the hissing sam That's their strike, that's that rattler He could, hey, I was wondering what you were doing do

Y'all make me wish I would have stayed in college And you are beautiful Hi, I am Erica Marie Tyler Your 2018, 2019 Queen of Orange and the Green Let me get two clips in a screwing. Yeah.

And you are beautiful? I'm Jalisa, Demetria Plummer, a third year theater performance scholar from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And I currently serve as a student life. All right. That's what it is. Y'all make some noise for y'all, Roy, you court, fam, you? They're in here. They look so good.

Now let's go ahead and address the elephant in the room, my nigger. Come on the elephant. Yo, who's popping? What's popping? What's popping? I don't lean on me, nigger, all right. I don't know you like that. I don't know you like that, nigger, but all right.

We don't know each other. Alright, what's your name, Big Home? I don't even got my name, but if you want to follow me on Instagram, Mr. underscore Findo, yo. At this point, I'm gonna block it. Bruh, that nigger said, I don't got my name. But if you want to follow me on the room. I said, I don't got no name.

There you go. Well, that means that nigga don't go to school here. Corrections. There's a degree in December 14th at 9 a.m., correction. All right, well, they're going to call something. What they're going to do? Just say, come get your degree. Fuck out of here.

They're going to say, Mr. underscore Findo, come and get your master's degree and sports ministrations. Oh, come through now. Come on. Well, you're going to get that degree online if it's at Mr. underscore any goddamn thing. They're going to send that shit to you. He don't go here. He's going to Phoenix University.

Those you know, I'm graduating with Summa Cumulata. That's all that matter. Well, they got to say your name. No, we love that. And that name going to come through as Mr. underscore Fend, don't act out the price in that office right there. Right there. My nigger.

East St. Louis in there, bet. Yo. Summa cum laude, that sounds like some. good coochie right there but she had that food only real people who went to graduate school or no understand that would understand but that god damn cheap ass aristocrat you've been drinking and kicked in or something man listen man yeah he on that cocaine uh leave him alone god damn it long as you know is height in six foot little ass nigger

Oh, he on your head. It took him a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let's go. Hold up. Let's go. Hold up. Hold up.

And now they're really grew up on a bunch of it. It's a back and forth like I've never seen before. Oh. That is why you do you. That was a good one. I am a little-ass nigger, bro. I'm a little-ass-nigger, but I got to ask you a question about your jeans, though. So you got a lot of holes in your jeans.

You let your thighs out and shit like that, right? So I just want to know what made you pick those? Actually, I picked those because... That... I was coming to that, but hey, I can't say too much because I only got a few more years in this her lining and there's her receipt and myself, so I can't speak on that. But I picked these jeans because, I don't know, but I'm exactly going to say I picked these jeans, God damn it. It was a flu. He got his thighs out. He wanted to win the Thaisman trophy. You don't shut your ass up, boy? Boy, your jersey pick as far. Get the fuck out of here.

I know you ain't talking wearing the last X section over there. your shit button down to your neighbor you don't want to be somebody be trying in walk around walk along the red for what you said lock alone shut up and maybe you can hit me there man I'm fussy to do I'm watching these spirits hey I'm gonna leave this nigga alone now when he started talking about Clayton he went

first of all bitch you need to shut your motherfucking mouth all right that's what my jeans like this nigga watch yourself Big dog in here. I'm a big man, not a low-ass nigger. You never had a load. Everyone is sweet shit. Nah, I pass on all that. I'm good.

I'm good, love. Enjoy. Let's go. All right, ladies and gentlemen. For real, tell the people your name, man. They need to know you, man. No, but all jokes aside. If y'all have been going here, I've been here since 2013, Patrick Martens finished.

I've been, I've been that live-ass, nigger. But everybody I already know me if you been going here. Patrick, motherfucking. big though that's me this niggas says he been it says 2013 this nigger is a super duper senior my name god the old oh he old oh that nigga old old is a mother this nigger been going here for years you 30 years old how you 30 years old sitting with the freshman nigga what's wrong with you congratulations um good trial i'm 26 with a master's degree that's come December 4th 14 at 9 a.m.

Hey, well, nigga, I'm 30 and I'm rich. Congratulations, motherfucker. What's you talking about, what you mean? Wow. Wow. That go. I'm 30 and I'm rich, bitch. All right, hold up.

I ain't hugging you, big ass, nigga. I'll hug her. All right, there we go. All right, now I ain't done. I'm about to go over here. Meet some of these beautiful fam, you ladies in this. Just because they got crown. They don't mean, go see you.

Hi, happy birthday, babe. Yes, your birthday, what's your name? It's my birthday. I'm Mariah Wigs for those who can't see or don't know. And I turned 19 today. You turn 19. Ah, alright, happy birthday. Hey.

Stand up, let me see you. Who you got out there, Burr? I got it. Oh, your ass fat basketball shorts. God. Time. Come here, baby. Come in.

Come in, sis. Big booty. Look at the booty. Oh, look at it hit the chair. Come on through. Come on, bring that big old motherfucker through. What's your name? Come on, don't be ashamed.

She got the girl with the big booty pony tail, I believe you. Every girl I'm on campus with the fat ass got that same ponantel. Hey. What's your name, babe? Jasmine Balloo. What you do, Ms. Jasmine Ballou? I played basketball here. Hell yeah.

Boots squad. Y'all good? Yeah, we're going to pretty good this year. Okay, you got a boyfriend? No. She's looking for a boyfriend? Uh-huh. Somebody just said, y'all nasty shit.

She is a boyfriend. She just said, pull that dick out. Let us see what she worked with. Shut the fuck up. That's what you just, man. What is wrong with this man? No, jug it's a little freaky ass. I'm going to ask about you next, pull a dick out.

All right, so it's a lot of things here. You're going to get the basketball girls in trouble. That's what the coach is going to name to play. Run, pull the dick out. Since y'all let the comedy show. Oh, you're still. So what you're looking for on the man? What these fam, you knickers got to do to get right with you?

I'm not really looking right now. Oh, well, fuck it then. Since your big butt, not saying that big old booty with nobody but nobody but you. Big stent your booty. Get out of here. All right, we're the one looking for some dick in. Bring your dick, look, no, all. You talk.

Come here, come here, come in, come in, come in, come in. Bro, we need a fucking show. Yeah. All right, come in. Oh, damn, she looked like the old chili. Where y'all find her at? How are you beautiful? You got the money.

Wow. Damn, did she just hear you say you was rich? She said, do I got the money? So I ought to take some money to get that pussy? For real? Wow. What's your cash app? Very, parry.

Boom. Fuck that, I ain't. That's all it takes. What's the cash app? What is it? What is it? Uh, hold up. Let me get a right.

I'm gonna see you the money. All right. What's the cash app? I'm gonna say you the money. What's the cash app? I'm gonna say you the money. What's the cash app? I'm gonna say you the money.

What's the cash app? I'm gonna say you the money. I'm gonna say you the money. What's your cash app? I'ma say you the money. I said, hold up, if that's all it take is a couple of dollars for you to come to my place and put the booty on my plate, let me hit that. Nigger sent the money, let on hit that the girl with the curly hair in the big booty. She said she needs some money so she can get to it.

My nigga, Chico Bean, he said that he was rich. He said the can app, now you got to send a tits or something. Sitting in your chair talking all that shit, you didn't hear me when I told the whole crowd I'm rich, so I sit you one. And now you got to know You is my whole whole Come on, can we let's fuck? Move on down Down

Like sent another one Just to tighten her up And I don't even want it I want my nigga to hit Hey chico sent me to cash app I sent her some shit Yeah Yeah

We got a hundred and fifty You already know That that pussy coming with me You play on the basketball team And I ain't wrong That just mean your pussy whole long Then a number I'm gonna sit it right in.

You already know you got a new boyfriend. So now that I sent you that cash your ass about, hey, I'm trying to get that mouth. Okay, we're doing. I said, what's your cash out? I say you the money. Hey, what's your cash out? I say you the money.

I said, what's your cash out? I say you to money. I said, what's your cash out? I said you to money. I said, what's your cash out? Baby girl, where your booty at? If you give it to me, I promise I'm going to send it back. Shit, Chico, you know how I feel.

I'm a cent $200 because her hair look real. And you know that I'm nasty. I got another $2.50. If she wanted to come and get it because we're up here at the family show. Is Chico being Clayton be Simone and Carlos? Yeah. All right. So, so, so, so.

So, time out, y'all. Hold up. I got a question for my new girl now. Pause it. Pause it. I got a question for my new girl now. So now that you got the cash that you asked for. Uh-oh.

So, uh... Hey, she ain't playing no more, her face. Uh, what wasn't that to hold her time out? Time out, y'all. We got the two older ladies right here. They said, bitch, that wasn't enough. You better ask for some more. Well, ma'am, how much does she have asked for?

$10.5 grand. You rich, right? $5,000. Okay, time about. Ma'am, you don't get the price of nobody else's pussy. She says she wanted $150,000. Hey. And that's what she got. You can't run the price up, no $5,000.

And, Mama, how much would she say $5,000? What's you, John? Well, I'm a registered nurse that I made plenty of money, so $10,000 would have to do it. 10 grand. 10 grand. Goodness gracious. Oh. All right, mama.

Oh, my God. Hey, hold on. Let me see it. Let me send that again. Say it again. Show it to them. That's over budgets, ma'am. That's not in the budget.

Put it on a see. I'm team. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Swirking. Oh.

Candle so. Mama got the ass, I'm gonna take you to class. And the fat. Mama got the ass. And I'm gonna take me up. Hey, hey, hey. Mama got the ass. I'm gonna take you to class.

In the fair that's so big. I promise I ain't gonna pass. You got the big old butt. I'm trying to give me a nut. And you say you're a nurse. And that means you can take me up on anything I got going. I know that you ain't honing, but your ass so big.

I'm just trying. to be the one that's showing you a little bit of tricks. Hey, mama opened up for some of this young niggas dick. Hey! She'll bring it your ass out of rap. Nah, I fuck with mama. Mama fuck the shit out here and make you a pound cake when it's over. Hey, hey, hey. Man, get them, ma.

Look at them lips on my, too. Ooh. Oh, oh. Oh, yes, yes, yes! I love it, move, move. Niggins don't get no running, and that, God, darn it! Hey, I told you, Mama, shit. Mama just put her whole hand in her mouth.

Mama, you know, a young nigga right there holding it's hot. Change your life, didn't it? Mama said she's going to swallow your whole meat. Hold up, bro. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She really just did that. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Mama just went like, oh, shit. Mama. I didn't caught feelings. Mama probably. Mama get you that head to go like this. Oh, mama. Don't throw up that all of God, Mama.

That's what it is. Chigo, you stupid. I love, mom. That's why we don't take you nowhere. Hey, all right, we got this side over here. Yeah Niggas really don't fuck with They don't really fuck with this side

Niggas y'all be chilling Alright who my niggas right here Let me go up here and meet some of these niggins up here Oh shit Niggia this the 85 I ain't fucking with you You look straight down when I walk past you You good big homie Up going up here to fuck with my home boys up here

Hey Chico Hold up before you do that you ain't gonna believe this shit bro What? You're not about to believe this shit What? Go ahead. I'll tell you in a minute. Go ahead. All right. Hold up real quick. All right. What's up? Let me, nah. Y'all, y'all, nigger. Y'all, my man with the du rag on. Come here real quick, white du rag. Come here white du rag on them, nigger.

Boy, his duress. Shady and shit, boy. That n'nig got the white du rag on. What's your name, gankster? Huh? What's your name? My name is Brian. Brian, where you from? Raleigh, North Carolina. Oh, you're from me.

You're a North Carolina, nigger. All right, I live in North Carolina. That's what's up. Now, I've seen you over here turning up with your white du rag on and all that. You got waved? I need a haircut. Shit, at least you honest, nigga.

Your goddamn wave cap looked like a hotel sheet. That shit crazy as hell. Bonato, you got, you got girlfriends. A lot of beautiful women in family. You got a girl? No, I ain't got no girlfriend right now. What's you about to pull your dick out nigger move? Oh, never mind.

That's about to pull this Johnson out. Chico? Yeah. Man, you're gonna believe this shit. What I ain't gonna believe? Bro, guess who just pulled up, bro? Who did pull it up? Who just pulled up?

Who just pulled up? You ain't gonna believe this shit, bro? Who just poured up? You're not about to believe this shit, bro. Who is poured up? Who's pouring up? Man. Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah Yeah Yeah It's going down for you DC Oh man you Oh What are you

What you mean? What do you mean Gia What's up for you Oh to the hit, oh what she put in, oh, put it on to do it. Hey, how's you get on there? Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! You want to do! You know what you do? Oh, no, I'm going to go. Hey!

Oh, what you're doing? Hey! You know what you're doing? You know what I'm going to come down where you're in for with you, all right? Hold that fucking right? Hold up! Hold on. Talk your shit, don't you.

Talk your shit, dude. Five, you want to fuck, go. Hold on. Oh, oh, I just got out for playing. Hold on. I need everybody in this motherfucker. Hold up. Hold up.

On the count of three, I need anybody say, bring that ass. Yeah, boy. Y'all ready. One, two, three. We're at here. Hey, he's got a burn ass, look, gentlemen. Who are you going to go, ladies.

Who are you? Oh, what's you? What you're working on? Uh... Who what you working on? Shit, this is a homecoming, bro. Damn you. What are you going on?

What are you going on? What do when you get home? Hey, have been time. Please, I'm pushing. I'm out. Don't know what's on. Who's going to get me some pussy? Yeah

Hey Dish out You say you're going What are you're going We got a ton of bitches out here fucking to the crown We're over to turn And then you got no plans

It's all land right and got a bitch bad ass She's right Where are you at Can you go Let me see Yeah Let me see that man

Let's see that thing We are all let's see the head Where mama and break that ass down to the one? D.C. want to see that big, fat-ass jump. Hey, eating that egg, putting it over. Hey, eating like a replica all over the place. Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Yeah! Listen, drag you. Oh my sheep. Oh my sheep.

He's down this, man. It's home coming, right? This is all coming right? Yeah Y'all ain't like you're talking about it, man Y'all ain't like you're talking about it, man Yeah, you're not going to come. Yeah, this is that what you're going to do.

What are you going for me? Yeah! Yeah! If y'all got to hear the call coming in the whole land, let me see you with your hand. If you got to let me talk from it in the whole range Let me see a rage at hand It's home coming in this bitch, everybody,

It's homecoming in this bitch, everybody safe It's homecoming in this bitch, everybody say It's homecoming in it bitch Hey, it's home coming in this bitch, say what? It's home coming in it bitch, For a shit, It's homecoming in it bitch, Let me see, watch it, go come in there.

Bees say, value. Now, you say, for you. Yeah, what do you say? Yeah. Hey. Yeah. You see, she told me.

Hey. Kansas. What's the time? What's how? That's it. What? That's not. No, no.

What? Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Hold on, what's her name, bro? Oh, Soto! You run for president?

Oh, we got a bad time. Oh, yeah. We've got to get some of this on camera. We've got to get some of this on camera. Y'all ain't never been to no whole pop and comedy show like this before. Shit, this shit for being different. Oh my God. Oh, oh, hold on.

What are we put on on sensationalator there? Sam, that's it? You said, y'all? What, what do you think? Because you know, we can do whatever, on this one is down, right? This girl said, this girl said, I go to the front right.

I got to see what happened. Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Oh! Hey, you know why you do to the people, man? Hey, I put this girl up right now. We're about to ask her a name.

She playing on the basketball tag. She was like, what a passion. I said, oh, the type of some passion to get that pussy. She was like, yeah. So I sent her $150. What's he in? What she is? What that bitch is?

She's sending that person the old man. She's sending that person the old cat. She was having that person in. She was every person in. All right now, my buddy. Alright, hold up. I want to get that in here. I'm gonna get right here.

Hey, we gotta, listen. You to kill the three. You'll tell these motherfucker, bring that ass here. Oh, that. One, two, three. Bring out here, one. You got to be on the fuck, dude And me, I look at this shit

Play some ass in the shit I just got here, I don't want to turn up Bring that's a good, bring that for that shit, dude, wait on that's all that for a bit Okay, wait, oh, no, dick Oh, don't get on. Hey, fuck, me, one, Hey, black, me, a, man, oh,

Shink and everybody's up, Shake you, wait a wait a minute, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Stop playing shit and a c-knit-knit-knit. That point great. We cut some shit out. Oh yeah, I'm tired. He's a ass already.

We've got to have a BBW turn up. Oh, I got you. What's up? I want to have a BB do. We don't have so sick, don't know. Where I don't know? Can we get somebody else?

Can we sit? No, she broke out. What she is? What she won? I want to win. I want the big girl. Look at this. What she won?

You better want a motherfucker. You want. What you are? What do you win? Oh, you're bad. You're mad. You're mad. You're mad.

You're mad. That thing is, you're going to get a motherfucker, man. We were just talking. You're stupid. Damn. We're stupid. Yeah.

We got a lot of them. We die. We got a restaurant. We die. We got a restaurant. We die. We got one. We're going down.

Yeah, man. And the party don't stop. We on campus after this ring. We're going to fucking stand on the yard. Do that that shit? We got one. I know. Oh, shit.

Oh. Oh. Oh. I'm excited. I'm not for land. I need two dollars. I need two dollars. Let me do you want to come out, man.

Come down. If you give me something to you, I ain't back and break your ass still. Come out. Come out, then. Get my ass through. Come down. I want big girls?

Oh, big girls. Oh, good. So, sit and still. Wait, I can come back to say you all about me? You got to get. You got to get you. Yeah You ain't got to make a man out there, you ain't gonna find

We just have him, right? Where yet? We go, we're gonna do all ready? Where in? Right Y'all out there, we're reaching back to show things I just got here. I ain't talking about it. Y'all, you know, you're gonna be saying.

They can't get to reach that far. They're just screaming, grabbing about this. I'm like, yeah. Walk the catwalk, EZ. I don't even know who falls on it is. You stupid. I'm about to get away, huh, bitch. Who on this in?

Yeah. They're going to profile this evening. All right. So we got some ladies up here that's going to show up with the... D.C. Come on. You got to show them what you do. Got one more?

Uh-huh. Let's take your phone. I know. Got somebody down. Yeah Hold up, five, we got some ladies up in here Hold up, wait, wait, wait Wait, wait

We need some more, hold up We're the other level You got the really bad doing from real What I'm thinking? What's here? Who said that? You say that? You need one more?

Who are you? Unlock it, baby. Oh yeah, we got another y'all ladies here. We got another one. Let's go ahead and say. You can't come up here playing. Come on. You can't come up here playing.

This shit is crazy. You can't come up in playing. But you can't do much grabbing your dick right? You can't come up. Hey, he's talking about, I won't play, okay? DC, what's you doing up here? Come on.

Okay, we got two. Hold up. Oh, ah. Okay. That's what. That's all you brought up in. Damn, that's all y'all don't give me? Bring her! Brigo! Who I'm here?

Girl, your friends want you, you better... They gotta be, B, B, B, B, B. That's two. Come on, fucking you. They just wanna shake their ass. Oh, man, we've been a turn-up in this bitch. I don't came all way down. Came all the way down here Fuck that fuck what I'm talking about I think I took out the play come in there bitch

That's it foo Ooh, oh yes yes We got some show oh yeah Oh yeah She just want to shake that it come on. I ain't gonna stop you from shaking that ass fam you is This shit crazy as fuck man Mugger fuck a let you're so crazy

We got another one We have another one Oh You can test this? We got them up in this Okay We good We good

We good We good Okay We good Okay we got one Two three Ooh four Can you ain't no BB Dembs

To add up No line up Okay Boom, boom Okay Ooh Yeah this that shakes up This that

Turn up a homecoming for real live. Hey, y'all got a boat too. This bitch is a fool up here. Before we start this shit now, keep in mind, we are at a school. Don't do no crazy. We are a historical college. This is a historically black college and university. I don't know white people we get.

They ain't see now one white person. Y'all know what the fuck been to happen. okay who you don't want her to get closer your little smile here all right so we're gonna kick this thing on hey it's just the home come turn up spread them out drama what we need the drummer to give us up to give us up the D's young the ladies right here can't what they do too all right all right we get no oh they're Oh, they go white girl, hey white girl. Yeah, then.

All right. You want to co-represent for your culture? You want to co-represent? Come on, white girl. We're going to give you a chance. Hey. We're going to give you a tag. Come on, white girl.

Uh-oh. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Back that ass up. You got everything else. We have fam you. Look at all these niggas. All right.

Oh, this is beautiful. This is beautiful. Alright, here we go. Who phone this is? Here we go. Hey. Hey, unfortunately, famed you, they say we got to go, right?

They're trying to cut it. Move! We didn't even do this competition, so they're going to have it over there. Hold on, hold on, hold on. They said, we got to go. They're bad. Everybody can do all day. Everybody can shake that ass and we can turn on.

Hey. Hey. Oh my second Oh Let's see Oh What the fuck Oh

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Very new. They're really new. D.C.

Stop. D.C. The athlete and take the race hour. Don't you get. Don't you. Hey! Oh you get! Oh!

Oh! Hey! Oh! You don't get! Don't you get! Don't you get! We got They got anything

They got to get a shit We got to get out, y'all We got to get out, Joe We're going to get out I'm going to get out B. B.C.

We let's get out, y'all. We got it to get out. No one channel, Joe. We don't know We don't know We don't know We don't do

We don't say to the club party We don't do Nobody will stay Please Hey no, I can't We can't before we know Where else you? One

Hey, hey, hey Let's go Hey, hey Hey Outside, we're going to the ballpoint. Outside, we're going to the platform. Outside, we go into the platform. I don't know.

Chrisie, what's my trying to say? Girl. Hey, who's jacking at all? Girl. You got to have a ticket today. You did, how? Let me take you so. Oh, they can't do it like that ever again?

Everyone's take a picture. Okay. This is our, um, this is our, um, can I get everybody out for a second? Can I get everybody that's not part of the show out just for a few minutes? That's it. Don't leave me home. Okay.

We have a block party. If you're not part of the crew, please get out for a second. If you're not part of the crew, please get out for a second. Hey, man. Nigger. That shit was crazy. With a shutdown, every way you look, bro. This shit was crazy.

Oh, man, these students' shows. Hey, man, folks than that, we were taking four phones. Real, real. I lay down and take a picture, man. You know, I ain't. I ain't done. Listen, man, I didn't get a lot of homecoming comedy shows at HBCU's. I'd have been a part of a lot of homecoming comedy shows at HBCU.

But what just happened in there? I haven't ever been or seen no shit like that. Witnessed, right? Fam you. FAM you. FAM goddamn you. So, hello. All right, all right, all right.

Come on, man. You know. Like, you know. Yeah, she's rapping, fam. She's been running around in heels out there. She brought a case of water up six flights of skeleton. Got her heels on, man. And this is our fourth outfit today, because girls and fans swap it up.

They switch it up, man. I already know. I know. People don't know if a necessity, because you just sweated one outfit out. But you would never believe. I was not cleaning. I was thrown in the fight.

I was standing behind you. I believe. You want to live with grace. Who are you going to get to come to your school to do a homecoming show like that? No, see. I mean, for real. What I'm saying, on fly, you get the perfect shit. Like, what you did was perfect.

What you did was, when you came out at the end and everybody was just like, because we already had did that shit five times throughout the show, couldn't set up better. Yeah. We had already had, fuck that chick, I want to be there for the five times. need to be there for the five times need to be there no but if you would have been there you wouldn't have that same yeah yeah and we would not have that visual

because that's some rock star shit and so everybody media and everything yeah that shit was sick you got that shit on cam and crayon good I got you look like some jack some five shit right I got you I got you where you came out there he was a little Tell us a guy on my interview. It's not sounding it. I'm so dead. Tell us who any crimes out there. You, since you want to talk so bad.

Boom! Can't cut this mic, doll. Hey, hey! What's up? Wow. No, man, this is the, first of all, it's a brotherhood. You know what I'm saying? This ain't really no show.

This is a couple brothers who got together, you know what I'm saying, and started talking shit. You know what I mean? And together. I was just telling my people the other day, we started this from a grain of salt. You know what I mean? We were just trapping it out. Really just talking shit and look what we at now.

You know what I'm saying? We had, what? Some thousand people like that? My family. Man, you know, man. We love y'all. Seven thousand. Yeah.

$7.000? Yeah, you were laughing how it is on safe. Y'all showed us a lot of love. You made us feel welcome. It made us feel like this was a familiar setting. Man, everybody took care of us. It was dope, man. You know, everybody came out.

So look to the homecoming comedy show. He got one. He said like I was true here. Yeah, I just, you know, like, just to pick it back on what they said, like I've done a lot of comedy shows, homecoming comedy shows before. Yeah, they're the king of homecoming show.

Yeah, like this, what we did the night I've never seen anything like this. And I've never seen the energy like this. I've never seen the response like this. And that kind of just, you know, you know, just basically speaks to what we have here with the 85 South show. Like, it's not, you've never seen guys who would each individually hold their own any way they go, come together and be able to put that type of energy on stage like that.

So that's basically what the foundation of this is. It's just, like you said, just brothers getting together talking shit, but us getting together genuinely talking shit and turn it to 7,000 people running around with their phones out streaming. So it's amazing. Yeah, no, I just, it's dope. Like, I went to school here, so. I didn't even know you went to the school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is historically black.

We come in all shapes. Fuck all that. You see us out. So, fam, you're doing everything. We've got Andrew Gillum. He's going to win the governor thing. We got a huge-up. We've got a bill packet of the thing.

We got to win pocket yourself. Like, it just breed excellent. So I'm glad y'all got to see what I've been knowing. What I've been knowing. And y'all got to see it first of hand. I hope it actually felt like y'all's homecoming. Because that's how they treated y'all. Yeah, it felt like we went ahead.

I'm just glad to be here representing for the ladies, you know, here with my brothers. They always invite me. The 85 style show has showed me so much love from the beginning of my career. So I love these guys, man. I look up to them. D.C., you know I love it. You get your freak ass on you. I love these boys.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God, he's going to climb my whole entity, clearly. No, be sweating. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious. One in ten kids vape serious, which warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure, like yourself.

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Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of Family Secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I-Heart podcast.