The 85 South Show with Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly and Chico Bean - The Waitress At The Waffle House Comedy Special | Ep. 215

Episode Date: December 21, 2019

The coldest podcast returns to Miami to turn up with the Waffle House Waitress in the front row! Dc young fly, Karlous Miller and Chico Bean deliver a hilarious improv show off the dome and make sure to bring the laughs to the people! FOLLOW THE CREW KARLOUS MILLER - https://www.facebook.com/karlousm/ DCYOUNGFLY - https://www.facebook.com/DcYoungFly1/ CHICO BEAN - https://www.facebook.com/OldSchoolFool/ BILLY SORRELLS - https://www.facebook.com/billysorrells/ FAT AND PAID - https://www.facebook.com/Fatandpaid/ DARREN BRAND - https://www.facebook.com/darrenbigbab... CLAYTON ENGLISH - http://www.claytonenglish.com/ JOE T. NEWMAN - http://www.ayoungplayer.com CHAD OUBRE - https://www.instagram.com/chadoubre/ LANCE CRAYTON - https://www.instagram.com/cat_corleone_/ J.O.N - https://www.instagram.com/heeeyj_o_n/ CRIAG GRAVES - https://www.instagram.com/craigshoots23/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network, Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. What's up, Miami? The 85 sound show is in the field. We're all my 85% percent of that makes them know. Miami y'all got some beautiful ladies out here let me tell you you guys are in for

a great show tonight how many of y'all watch the show on YouTube hell yeah but when you hear you just might be part of the motherfucking show y'all ready to get this show starting say hell yeah we in Miami tonight we just told out the James L. Knight Center Miami give it up for yourself We got three of the hottest comedians in the country right now, and they're going to all be on this stage here tonight. And Miami, you guys are witnessing greatness tonight. Get your phones out so you can show somebody about this. You are witnessing the next Kings of Comedy!

Miami, stand up! My left side, I need everybody to stand up. In the middle, I need everybody to stand up. On my left side, I need everybody to stand up. The first member of the 85 South show. You've seen this man on MTV Wild and Out. He's funny as hell, his style is impeccable. He is the coldest dressed man in comedy.

He's all the way from Washington, D.C. But Miami, he gonna be on this stage here tonight. Make some noise. We got Chico Bean in the house. The next member of the 85 South note. He funny as hell, we call them loose legs. You see them on MTV Wild and Out? You see them on VET?

You see them on VH1 Hip Hop Squares. You see them in the movie How High Too. You see them in the movie I got the hook up too. You see them in the movie Almost Christmas and Miami. He's gonna be on New York, too. He stayed here tonight. He came all the way from the west side of Atlanta. We got D.C. Young Flies in the house.

The third member of the 85 South Show. He needs no introduction. But I'm gonna give him one anyway. Where are my ladies in? He goes by the name of the Sense. the sense he is the creator of the movement black men don't cheat you see them on MTV wild and out and you're going to see him on this stage here tonight he's all the way from Atlanta by way of Mississippi ladies your baby daddy Carlos Miller is in the building

now Miami if you guys ready to get this show started to say hell yeah I'm gonna you to turn it up a little bit Miami if you ready to get the 85 South show the coldest podcast the new keys of comedy started saying hell yeah Miami makes some noise this is the 85 South show Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, M.I. Yeo. Hey, hey, eh. And M. I am I yo.

What's in Miami? Oh, yeah. We in M. I yeo. Yeah, yeah. We in Miamie, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami. Miami.

So, me, we're in Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami. Hey, we're in Miami. We in Miami. No joke. Salute to all the niggas in the crowd to set it door. You know it's one town because we out here in Miami.

Y'all. Yeah. One more time. We are just with the family. Oh, we in Miami. Miami. Miami. Miami.

Miami. Miami. I say we live in Miami. Loose leg. Loose leg. Loose leg. Loose leg. Loose left.

Yeah. Loose leg. Loose leg. Loose leg. We in Miami, hoke. We in Miami, and you can't tell them to shit. Oh, we in Miami and you can't tell me shit. And you can't tell me shit.

Oh! I'm in Miami. Oh, what everybody said dope. Nigger earlier today, a nigga kicked it on the boat. What you do? Oh. Kicked it on the boat. One more time.

What y'all do? And we kicked it up. on the boat oh shit somebody grab my lawn chair oh shit somebody got their lawn chair on that stage yeah we got a booty bill y'all have a seat what's up miami oh my em is lit sit sit down sit down oh we're about to talk good shit up in here tonight. Yes, sir. Hold on, hold on.

We're about to talk good shit tonight. Miami! Nah, we end this bitch. We need that energy. What's up, Miami? Hey! Boy, you look at this crowd. We got the white folks, gangsters, and the thugs all in one building.

We got Takasha 6'9 in this motherfucker, this nigga tripping. All right, and what's up, Takasha? They don't let you free. 72 hours I don't get your little snitch in that got your shit done like like you're the gay jerkler nigga you like the gay joker in this motherfucker

do you want to play a game you got real white man right here what's up white man y'all good like there Connor brat and what made you put the pink on the tip right there why you do that your ex did it

that's why he left that bitch she gone so why you want to change your shit because he liked that shit She ain't leave, but she's your ex. Boy, you stupid in here. You're lying. You see how easy you get caught lying? This nigga's still in a relationship with his self.

No, it was my ex. We broke up, but we still together. Oh, I see you. Let me call give you some love. Give her some love, D.C. Oh. Hell yeah. Big girls need love.

Big girls need love. Big girls need love. Turn this shit off. Big girls. She smelled just like mott balls and bedbans and beyond. At least she tried. What you're stupid? She tried to cover the mott miles up.

Why y'all get some salsa music from? Ooh. Big girls need love. Big girls need love. Big girls we love. She looked like she cooked sitting down. Yep. She got a pot of greens on the stove right now.

She'd be cooking sitting down. I love her. Yo, stop, man. What is wrong with you? So, since, we gotta get a BBW some love. For real. Hey, on some real shit when y'all played there, all the Spanish people were like, okay, I like these guys.

Okay, baby. They are diverse. Well, we in Miami, man. This is the motherfucking town. How y'all feel in Miami? Y'all good tonight? Hey, hi. We really in South America.

I don't give a fuck what nobody say. Yeah, it's a lot of... But I went to the little deal of the day to get a sandwich. I was like, let me get a ham of cheese. The motherfuck say, you want yam? I was like, I don't know. Let me try it.

I never had yam. I want some more. That shit better than the ham. That shit delicious. What is those at? What are those? What is those? I know we got some souls in him. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Look, my niggas stood up. I fuck with y'all, nigga, boy. Boy, them Haitian women got the pussy so good you'll stop eating pork. I fought with a zoe, boy, I seen the zo at the stove. The nigga were like, you looking for the weed? I was like, yeah, he's talking about, me too.

Me too. Look, she in the back saying, suck her pusses. Whoa. Suck your pussy. That's exactly what it sound like when they say. Yeah Suc passe my boule That sound like suck my pussy maybe later

Sama salle I love you too She worked at Woffa house, she still got her name tag on You work at the Waiwaii She do work at the Waf House for real Yeah, yeah What you bought us some all-stop specials, appreciate you, man Oh that's yours, my fault

This is for all of us This is for all of us. From your third shift staff. Ooh, boy, I know some people with no teeth on this, motherfucker. Third shift? Third shift. Third shift. That's two o'clock in the morning to two o'clock next.

Them the best cooks at the Waffle House. That white lady with the fucked up teeth. Do you want, how you want your ex done? If you want them done, oh, easy, whatever you need, we can take care of your hair. Boy, for real. Stop. Let me tell y'all what she did.

Y'all ain't a friend to believe this shit. boy get that shit off your shoe this girl that made me some goddamn Reese's peanut buttercups from scratch let me see him because I'm gonna tell you what she just gave us in this goddamn Christmas card hold up let me see let me read the Christmas card out loud for Miami it says some gifts go under the tree fuck y'all and some go right in your hands Merry Christmas. And these is, boy, she then gave us a bunch of free drink coupons for the Waffle House. Free beverage.

You think I ain't going to use them, bitch. I'm going to go out there. Go up there just like this. Bitch, let me get five drinks, ho. She goes like, you can't use these as I can. Right here. It's here right here. Hold up.

I'm sitting a Christmas card up on the table. Go ahead. Get you a drink. Hey, you know you the shit won the third shift at Waffle House. Fuck with you. Hell yeah. Y'all be standing outside smoking them cigarettes watching us, don't y'all? Look, look, she's got a switch of sweets.

Hey, that shit meeting the world of me. We appreciate all y'all at the Waffle House. You're going to pay for our food and give us free breakfast drinks, me? Yep, a whole $15. You get all three of our food at the Waffle House $25, all three meals. Well, the good thing is, you won't have to buy the drinks because we got free drinks. I said a nigga came up. I'm from the South.

They fucking with me on the third ship and Waffle House. I give a damn. Not what you say or what you think. I got the coupons for the free drinks. Carlos. Don't you do it. Hold on.

Nigger, that's money. Stop. Nick of this money. Hey. We don't want no beans. They get it to the homeless. They ain't got no teeth. They get this to the homeless.

Here you go. Get the fuck out of the move, nigger. Fuckin with Miami. Somebody gonna go get that free drink tonight. Hey, bro. Hey, hey, let me get one of them sweet teas. Here you go. You gotta get a sweet tea.

You can't get nothing else. Like, I can't get an orange juice. Like, bitch, I gotta drink a sweet tea. Any drink you want. Anything I want. All right. I'm gonna use this shit tonight. We're in there.

I'm gonna call you, bitch. Now I got to find a waffle house. Not in Miami. How you doing, Tennis? That shit on first four to eight. She just got tits. Hey, what's like that? They tricked you. They try to trick you.

Hold on, wait a minute. They try to trick niggas in Miami now. I come to Miami last time. Niggins, like, you should go see Miami Gardens. I'm like, oh, that sounds safe. Until you get over there and realize, nigga this Obel locker, y'all are just trying to change the goddamn name. What about the Pokemon Bean Project?

Them niggas. They were crazy. Fuck wrong, child. She said, she said, don't be talking about the beans like that. You're right. I'm a bean. You still stay that? Exactly, stupid ass.

She's like, hey, nah, man. I don't upgrade it to vegetables. I think my white man right here just lit up a swisher with nothing in it but the tobacco. That's what it is. You're a whole gangster. No, I ain't smoking that shit,

man. Got the blue Power Puff girl just walked by. Hey, Buttercup, where are you going, man? Think of them found a white woman in Miami. This, nigga, I lost this mind. With blue hair. Ain't no telling what type of shit she's up to. That's the white lady you see when you walk into Adam and Eve store.

So what are you guys looking to get into? We got all types of different type of things to make your sex life spice stuff. It's one of them freaking white girls. She liked the ex-pill in her booty. Put it in my ass. Put it in my ass. What's up, Flair? Look at it, nigga here.

Look at here girlfriend with a little blouse on. She walked like. She's been walking all day. She sees. Uh-oh, we got a green highlight in this motherfucker. There we go. Oh, don't cover your face up like we can't see you, ma'am. That's the third member of the city girls.

That's the manager. You're going to walk all the way over here. You walk all the way now. What the fuck you see that? Scoop. Scoop. Scoop. Scoop.

Scooter. Scoo. Scoo. Scoo. Ah. Scoo. Scoo. Scoo.

Scoo. Hey. Oh, powerful girl. Ooh, powerful girl. Oh, powerful girl. There's blossom with pretty clap, power, pop, girl. Everything nice, chicken.

Yes. You know this security lady right here. You can fight. Look at that ponontail. Hell yeah. She'll beat a bitch ass. Look, Auntie, that's right, Auntie. That's right.

Talk your shit. They got you in the Recy Cup shirt. Talk your shit, Auntie. Looking like a Recy Cup in this motherfucker. Auntie said, fuck y'all, niggas, nigger. Fuck is wrong with you. That's right, Auntie. Love you too, Auntie.

Bitch got midget fingers. She got that ponontail like the girl that fall asleep all the time when you're in middle school. Just sleep. The whole thing. Like Penny, oh, good times. I'm sorry, Mama. Burn our ass.

We're giving out free drinks. I said, we're giving out free drinks. Look at her, go get that, don't be ashamed. Pick that motherfucker up. You know you want a free drink. Man, you gave away all my free drinks. What is the world with you? What am I going to do when I go to Waffle House?

Spitting that dollar and 12 cent it calls for a drink. I can't take these things nowhere. They're like, damn, I want a free drink. I got you. Fucking up the Waffle House plug. Damn, nigga, you stood up with two cell phone lights. Do you want to make sure people see you? What the fuck?

This niggins say, give me your Android. I got to make sure they see it. Look at that top top. Yeah, he's holding two cell phone lights up. Like, you're about to land an airplane up there, motherfucker. They put them lights down. Your battery going to die. He don't get the fuck, that thing

got two more cell phone. He got that by himself. Who you with? Nobody. We were seeing the tweets, y'all was tweeting. That is hurry to fuck up. What, niggins, if y'all got here on time, we'll start on time.

You was on time. Niggins don't be on time. Y'all want to time. Y'all are walking in this motherfucker the whole house. Nuck of her talking shit. What the fuck, nah. You got to understand. You got a boyfriend?

You got a man? He right there. That mean y'all ain't getting no arguments by which I was gonna wear before the show. Most niggas was in the house arguing before they came. Bitch, don't wear that shit. They're gonna talk about you. Especially you see in front row. I like how you put that shit together. I ain't never seen the leopard print with the camouflage like that. Let me see.

Okay, you're a cheater and you... In the arm, nigger. Stand up, oh. Ooh! Ooh! They camouflage. Uh-huh. I can't even see them.

Are they standing up? Boy. She had from everybody. They need a dinko went duck hunting before they got here. They got a cheater camouflage, stupid. Shout out to all the fellas that have dressed exactly like they lady.

You look dumb as hell. You look stupid. You made all that noise and now everybody knows your dumb ass. Y'all in here dress in the same pajamas. What the fuck wrong with y'all? Same ones, yeah. Y'all taking, y'all going to bed right after this, huh? He's talking about it's her fault.

Y'all, listen, ladies, if your man dressed like you, that pussy is A1, that nigga want to make sure everybody know this is me. All right? He dressed like you, that thing ain't got nowhere to stay. All right, put the shirt on, I guess. That's what you want to do. Shit, I ain't got a little. Ain't got shit else going on.

What it is? I bet you they won't make no noise no more if you ask them what they're in. What are the fellas that's dressed like they later tonight? If you're dressed it like stand up. If you're on your lady in here dressed it like... Yeah, if you're your lady dressed like stand up. Stand up in this bitch.

Ma'am, you stand up by yourself with your boyfriend a ghost. Where you're a nigga at? He's stood over here, girl. We both look like chicka boys. Now, do all this shit. How long y'all been together, bro? A year?

A year? And y'all already dressed in a light? This niggina gave up. That nigger in love, love. I guess. It's been a year. This is the long as I ever been in the relationship. Right.

I guess this shirt you want me to put on, come on. Don't nobody make you feel better about your outfit than your girl. Your girl got the ability to make or break your house. Because when she see it, she gonna let you know how she feel about it. And you walk in the room, if you fly, she'd be like, ooh, where the fuck you're going looking all good? You ain't going nowhere. She walk in and be like, look, just close the door when you leave. There's nobody going to want you.

See, my bitch, she's placing. That how I know my outfit earlier when I come here, she's like, mm. What you, mm for? Nothing. It looks good, though. Yeah, you look good. Yep, you're looking real good. This niggas in here with some got their church shoes on there too.

You know they flow are gonna be hot! Don, die, die, tach. Shoots sound like they coughing. Yeah, shit. Salute to all the Haitian niggas. The Haitian niggins go by a Gucci outfit with the hard bottoms, nigg. Flo hell. No socks, nigger, no socks.

Gucci. No socks, that nigga got on the goddamn Uncle Fields, fresh dinner motherfucker. I'm gonna'all so lit. And I was on the jet ski today I took my partner on the jet ski. You know, they old ass, I ain't never did you no shit like that. Nika, I ain't even get on the boat. Fuck a boat. I ain't getting on boats. I'm staying on land, nigger, where you don't have to know how to swim.

Fuck that. Hey, they be, eh. One thing about your water, that's you see. That's shit. That shit, sopso. Well, I do that motherfucker came up. I was like, God. Knocked the snout out, you know.

Ha! Ha! I knew I wasn't getting in that goddamn water when some splashed on me and all my lotion came off. I was like, I don't know what the fuck they got in that water, but my old body ass shit. Nick, I ain't, I look like I've been at the bottom of the pool, my elbows and shit cracking. Hell no. Fuck that. You think is stupid.

Hey, ain't y'all got jellyfish in that motherfuck. Fuck that. That's another thing I'm scared of. You get stung by a jellyfish. Now you got to let somebody piss on you. Nika, what the fuck? That's the only way it's going to work.

Get out of here. Oh, Kelly, fuck wrong with you. You know why I love coming to Miami? Why? Because the big women still with a two-piece and don't give a fuck. That's right.

And be talking big shit. What? What? What? What? What you at? What are you at? Where you at if you go on a beach

with your two-piece on. With your ass out like Lizzo. That's right. She's confident. Yeah, that's right. She tucked her stomach down in her tights, and she don't give a damn what anybody's got to say. That's right.

Tuck it up in there. It's always a real big-ass girl and a real skinny one with her piquetna hanging all off of shit. It looked wet the whole time. She ain't even wet. I'm telling you some, I love big girl. I love him. I never get one time I would land on the big girl. I would land on her stomach every time she breathed my hands and kept riding.

I'm fucking ride a rocked the sleeve on there, man. Treats you like a newborn. Big girls gonna love on you different. They're gonna make sure you straight all day. You hungry, baby? Like, no, I just ate what eat again. They like the rub on you. I don't know what that shit be. Like, bitch, I'm not your cat. Your finger stank. I knew Big Girls was different. When I was fucking worn, she hooked the PlayStation up with no instruction.

Damn. And she knows how to play that motherfucker. Well, beat you in Mad Man 2K. And take you in the room and give you some head to make your feet turn in the fist, nigga. I love your big ass. I love Big Girls. They got a body odor to them. It smelled like, like, sweat and all that.

That's just real good if you play outside. This is a little good if you play outside. You be in the hood one second, make one left be some beautiful shit. Shit. Nika, Miami got some of the most colorful, dangerous neighborhoods in the world. You pull up, you, when you cross that bridge, shit changed. Soon as you come off that bridge, you see them big-ass dreads.

You're like, uh-oh, I have entered into the danger zone. Why do y'all do that? Why do y'all match y' shit up like that? Like, y'all just... You gonna have 80 dred, now you got four. What the fuck? Four big-ass dreads, nays. Why?

Now you gotta keep ducking there where you go. ski right like a nigga just lay all this dress down and eyed them like yep I got it now niggins I know that shit steak I got damn I got there like a motherfucker I knew y'all they got there them some different kind of niggas I seen one of them big dress rolling the blunt and named it Marcus I'm like a backwood too they don't get a fuck about nobody they in Miami they're first 408 they stay here Yeah, this is the home of First 48, right? This way it all starts.

That shit, come on. Little Peanut. Shot three times. Then they cut to the person. I don't know why they even did it in the Peanut like that. He was a good person. This shit, getting lied down on Furr48. I mean, one time, I was watching First 48.

They were old about it. They got to call him like, hello. You bullshit. Boy, that nigga dead right here, too. God damn. We got to shoot two episodes in a one time. You ever hear him play the 9-1-1 call when the gangster call? Hey, y'all need to send them crocodile out here.

They're shooting, nigga, yeah. Don't nobody say that cracker, like Florida, niggas, bro. Yeah, crocada, like, motherfucker. Crockel. Where about you, pussy and crockles? You don't fight no more. They got that bow on them. Right, but if you, if you, if you ain't,

You used to seeing white people get talked to like that. It didn't scare you when you first got to Florida. White dude motherfucker at the gas station or something. Get out of the way. Fuck, you pussy and crackle. You're like, oh, wait a minute. Hey, bro, what the fuck is wrong with you, nigga? Oh, fuck that pussy and cracker.

Nick, know not to talk that pussy ass shit to me, pussy and cracker. You got to do the move with it. Fuck that fuckad crackle. Do the move with it, Tico. Pussad cracker. Pussad cracker. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney. The podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free.

I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more. and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal.

He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace.

You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to family secrets. Listen to

Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of Uncensored Motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the host of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here.

If you like witty women, then this is your tribes. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women. type of predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else want to get pissed off because the white

said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade and I called to ask how I was going. She was like, oh, dad, all they were doing

was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs

when the man sends me money. I'm like, oh my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Mom's Bad Choice podcast every Wednesday on the black effect podcast network the i heart radio app apple podcast or wherever you go to find your podcast but then you got y'all down here y'all got some crackles that's niggas you will see the white man with the big-ass dreads white man with the big ass dreads

gold step on that on look where y'all got one but there you go right there look at him right there look at him how the hell you get your shit dreaded up look at that nigga you better not say nigga, I'll whoop your ass. Who you in? How the fuck you get your hair to stay like that? You must have put some elmas glue in your shit, y'all. White people hair don't lockup like that. You know how he make his shit stay like that?

How? You gotta hate white people. That might have been too much for him. They didn't get that one. Oh, you're trying to say it went over their heads? Yep, it did. No, real talk, like y'all have so scraped high and lock up like that. That nigga got it.

It's probably some wild shit. you know what you gotta use mayonnaise that's the only way you can do it tell you you got to focus real hard concentrate look at the mexicans nope don't try now the meg it's like you got to all the different type of Spanish people down here this is like Puerto Ricans the Cubans where yeah Puerto Ricans where the Cubans where the Cubans see as soon as you mentioned Cubans they start dancing who said something who's saying Oh, say something. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh, da-la-la-la-la-la-da-a-da-a-da-a-ha-ta-ta-ta-a-la-la-a. They's off. They say, fair. Hey, man, all the Cuban people are looking like, when is this coming out? Who says something?

Who say something? Who say something? Who say something? What I'm going to get a got a lot of what a way. Go. What a wonderful phrase. Shit, I went to a motherfucker, avon to a mall day, right? I went to Aventure Mall, boy, don't nobody make you want to buy some cologne like them Spanish motherfuckers to be in Macy's.

I went to Aventure mall, boy don't nobody make you want to buy some cologne like them Spanish motherfuckers to be in Macy's. Hey, you know you need to basically smell of cool. No, baby, you need to come in and say, me show you, you, show you, you, stay on your hands. See, spray one time, that's what you need. That's what you need. That's what you need, all day, all day, let's all day, let's all day, you know how to spread it one time. I had a gift package, 112, you get the gift, you get the cologne, you get the soul, and everything. Come on, you don't know, no need to go over there.

You stay here. You stay here, get it from me, I take care of you for one time, let's see. I put with me as well, I tell them things, anything, and everything for a hundred dollars. Everything. So you think you want a new coffee, you want to see, yeah, and everything, I do everything for a hundred dollars. Well, he's going to too, oh, I'll be you too high for a hundred dollars. You're all fucked up, individuals. All right, they just be up there.

That Home Depot waiting. You're going to be hated in every community. They love us. You'll be waiting to add somebody in the head. You are black lady. Nika. How are you going to make noise on behalf of the Spanish community? You everything?

I know what she won't. See? You want that free drink. I heard you connoissemer. I'm everything. Why y'all got so many ushers, like, look at all these niggins in orange, go home. Shit, this overshad. Oh, wow, aye, aye, nah, nigger, move.

Look, auntie, she's tired. She's like, yeah, damn. I'm still trying to figure out who the hell James L. Knight is. I don't know, but that's his center, niggins. She's just left for wedding. Why is it attached to a hotel? I don't know. Any of y'all ever stayed in the James Hill night center hotel?

Motherfucka hell now. now. Shit smoked out. Did we smoke first or did they do this? No, they did that. My man lit up the regular swisher and that was the end of it. We had a smoke machine. Y'all think it's been in here for a minute. Y'all got the church ladies in here, high as here.

I can't even go in the church milling like this. Look at these bitches. Look at these bitches right here. Where? Purple pink. Oh, boy. Good skitt. Like a crayon box.

Look at these holes. Damn, ma'am, your bun really is shaped like a dick. That's crazy. They got a head on it and everything. That's crazy. She put the head on. What type of hair you want? Put that dick head on the top of my bun.

So when I tell these bitches to suck my dick, they can know what I mean. Well, y'all better not fuck with them there like you in the hotel room at Motel 6 and run a train on you. So what's thought where the dick is? You sitting there like a bit, stop, get off me, stop. Tell that big girl put that shirt back on. Come on, you can tie me up, I'll tell ya last suck.

Come on. She said, come on then, bitch. Talk of your ass. Look, y'all. And y'all made y'all on 85 social shirts. Let me see what they look like. Ah, let me see, get on. Look at that.

Oh, look at her who couldn't get a wig. This bitch right here. Boy. Y'all look like the shirt. Y'all look like the Project Power Rangers in this motherfucker. Yellow Twins, activate. Bitch, we gonna fuck them folks. Oh, you hear me.

I'm a well-mind, too. Get yours, bitch. Oh, bitch. Bitch. I got one more. I got a colorful one in the closet. You know what? It got circles on it.

I put a bun on mine. Ooh. Bitch your bang. Fucked up. But my bun straight. It's multi-cutters. Hey, hey, Carlos. Carlos, your frontal shone.

Yeah, your frontal showing, bitch. Your whole lace front fucked up. Yeah, turn it around. Way it back was like a ball crack. You crazy. You got to back up in the club, bitch. You got to do this. Y'all fuck them up.

Fuck them up with these. This pillow is heavy. What is this? Shit stink. I hate people who furniture steak. You know it's tight because you sit on the edge. And dust come up off that motherfucker. They're like, you all right?

No, I ain't really breathing in this motherfucker. Right. All dust on the couch. Then they had a nerve that offer you a snack. You want something to eat? Not at this motherfucker, I know. No, that shit got mold on it. I'm good. Salude all the ladies in here to put their fly shit on the night to come see us.

When to get them long, thick-ass eyelashes. Eye lashes, big as a motherfucker. If it's hot outside, bitch blink on me. I'm hot, please. I need some air. Then I found out yesterday y'all motherfuckers is wearing mink eyelashes. That's the up. What?

Yes, cat hair. Hold on, hold on, hold on. This has got cat hair. Running back, I didn't hear you. What you said? Mink eyelashes. like the fur from a mink that's what the ones to be real long.

Mink eyelashes. Oh, I thought a bitch is really putting mink on their fucking eyelashes. They are. Like the coat, niggas. Yes, the same shit that's made the coat made out of. That's what the eyelashes made out of. Let me see a bitch in here with some mink eyelashes.

See, I don't know what's her? There you go, where all the ladies with the mink eyelashes is there? Don't be a shame. That's right, bitch. Is it the real fur or do you got the fake shit? Now, you can tell the ones that's fake. The ones that's fake be plastic. These bitches get hard in the sun.

See, your eyeless. You gotta draw yourself crazy. They're trying to blink, bitch. Can you keep your eyes up? See, look. Me? What wrong with them? They're gonna look like me?

Can I take one off? Damn, world, you got your shit the same color as the Lemonhead Box. Your shit fresh. I have the same color as drug test, Pete. Ah! No, she gonna fail. I don't give a damn what you do, ladies.

As long as this shit make you feel good, do that shit. Right. Put whatever on. Put that shit on, bitch. Get cute, goddamn. Go in the bathroom and take four hours and come out looking like a whole new motherfucker every time. I don't care. Just water on us on.

You need a little shit that women do that I think sex is just going to the bedroom, take a shout, put some lotion on. Just a simple shit. Like you look like a whole new motherfucker when you're shining. No? You just wet and silky. You're stupid. Ain't no shit niggas can do to enhance themselves of it and get some money. That's all you can do.

Go make a withdrawal. That's it. Get some money. Niggins start walking around with regular enhancements on that. What have you seen a nigga that had on some goddamn prosthetic muscles? This nigga just walking around big as a motherfucker with the fake muscles. Come here, give me a hook. Hell no, nigga, you're gonna explode.

They do got them. They kind of like Botoc. It's like in the nigga on. Hey, come out a little bit. And they put it in their neck too. For real? Yeah, yeah, that's because of me and optimistic. Ask some Italians, why don't they're gonna make no noise?

Me and real optimistic. We ain't gonna do all that extra shit. We're just gonna go to a different club. Somebody like us. You gotta find them. They've got a different outlook. Shit, these bids don't like me. Well, shit, let me go back uptown

because I had better luck up there. Like, what do we did do shit? like they did, like, we're just like ourselves when nobody wants. Yeah, that's right. You can't, and I'm baldhead to the motherfucker. Imagine if you see me like this today and then tomorrow I come with some dreads

like the niggas from Miami. Like, yeah, we're in this bitch. You'll be like, they don't take that wig to fuck off your head. There's some niggas in here got a lace too. Got that little sweat red. They keep tapping that motherfucker. We all the niggins that in here

that got the goddamn male lace front. Make some noise. Don't lie. They wouldn't dare make no goddamn. They can't laugh. They can't laugh. They laugh with their shoulders. Then you gotta have a piece.

You gotta go home and peel your hair off, nigger. Like, like opening up a now later. Like, ch-ch-ch. They said that shit got... Ha ha! Hey, they said that shit laugh about six months. Six months. Yeah, it's glued that shit to your scalp.

Like, take your head out. Like, say, fool, if you want it, right? Uh-huh. You got to go to the doctor to get this shit. Yeah, you got to go to the doctor. go to the dog. It's like a sew in. Could they take the little needle, nigga, they got to go in your skin. Yeah, get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, I swear, nigga, it's serious. They go in your scalp and they, like, sew it. Shut the fuck up. They knit it in there. Just in case a nigga trying to pull it. Right, are you fucking for real? Yeah, oh, it's different ones. They got something that you can just get at the barbershop

where they just let your hair grow where it still grow and then they shade the top part off where it don't grow and then put some like lace front glue on the top of your shit and then stick a hot top fade on top of it and cut it down you all made and then you got the ones like this evil for real nigger really been in the barbershop going through the process and they'd be allowing the barb of the video recording them like

ain't nobody gonna see your stupid ass for real i'm just got to grow my shit back and get a boozy fade then you can do it fuck them up fuck them up one time you get a goddamn boosty fade if you get a boost and fade i'll Alright, let's make a big. Let's make a bet. Because if you look stupid, I'm going to look stupid with you.

I bet. If you get a booze bag, I'm ashamed of all my house. Oh. Damn, I won in on that. He got to get the booting fade, and it will care. So you say, so you say that if Carlos get a, get a lace front, you will go ball. He got to get the fade, though. He got to be like hair, no hair.

Okay. Got you. And you're talking about. You got to go all the way ball like this, shave all your shit off. A nigga, I'm talking about, e-w-w-now. Now, this belt was made in Miami, so remember. I'm a man. That shit is going to be pure comedy.

I'm going to be laughing like a mother. I'm like, god damn. I said, look, that lady right there said, don't get no boost of fame, baby. This is the Waffle House. Yeah. If I was you, I get the boost of age. I'm fucking zoom at the Waffle House. That's the thing that you know if your headline is running from your eyebrows, it's time to let it go.

It's over with. Just cut it off. At least you'll know what you're going to look like for the rest of your life. Don't force nobody to make no decision. They're not ready to make. That is your headline. Take your time with this shit. Once you end, you end.

There ain't no going back. What you say? Let you cut me up. cut me up. It ain't much for you to cut, nigga. You a barber? Y'all barbers. You a barber? No, y'all barber, niggas. Look at their twin brother's stood up. Yep, my brother's a vibrant. Y'all bribor. Y'all bribus be disrespectful. Y'all be trying

to impress niggas for no reason. I went to the barbers shop. Nigel was trying to brush this shit. I'm like, nigga, what are you brushing my self-esteem? What the fuck is wrong with you? Ain't nothing up there. Yeah, y'all niggas way too extra, Nick. Last time I wanted to go get a shave, nigga, put some shit on my eyebrows. I'm like, hold the fuck up, bro. I ain't one of them niggas you don't got to do my eyebrows ain't let no nigga touch my head that I ain't

I don't know right that shit like buying weed from a nigga you don't know nigga I'm not smoking that shit I got that gag gang gang how you know I want the big boy in time how you know shit nah what you say no John John

nah whatever you know my name you still ain't gonna cut my head ugly like this all we got You fuck this up, then the next thing you know, I'm sitting in the chair, you didn't backed up 30 feet. That weed smoke, then got me to his head. He's trying to snitch. You do that shit over. Don't follow me, bitch-ass, nigger.

Who following you? The light man, move, fuck on that swag on your ass. We're the light man that I don't even see this nigger. He up there, some guy doing what? I had one of my nigger with them dress. Put that bow on your stupid hand. And you already know what he probably is up there. Go see him.

White dude. Probably a fuck-ass-a-crack up there doing that pussat crack-ass shit. White dude with the dress. Go up there and hollad them, man. You work the light from here on now. We trust you. We know you ain't going to run off with the goddamn plug and shit like that.

Nika, thank you, Black, to the police pool of the moment. Nika, turn right back to Tyler. They turn white back right. Hi, how you are? Yeah, I was going to cut these dress today. What a single lady's at tonight? We have any? And we got to ask where are the single ladies?

I bet y'all is. That's one question, but where the single ladies is fucking tonight? I bet said, what? That shit went from about 200 to 11. Right. Big girl with their tits like they're here. For the slap machine, yes. Whoa!

What you from, babe? Miami Gardens, Oberlock. That's what they call it? Yeah, it's dangerous over there. It's dangerous as fuck over there. You can't even go see her. It's gonna be four niggas standing at the bottom of the step. Who you're over here to see?

I ain't even going to no projects. I'm gonna keep ride by a bitch. You need to come to the front. Oberlaga, Curl City, all them dangerous-ass places in Miami. Look, that. Meet me at Windin'is. You said it ain't that bad. Shit, it is that bit. It ain't that bad so you get over there.

And then next to you hear, boom, Chico Bean, shot twice. Wallet out comedian shot tonight in Miami Garden. Stay tuned. We've got to more coming up on that story's developing right now. And all it is is your auntie on the news. I don't know why he wouldn't even come over here to see the girl. He knew what time it was over here. Then they always got one nigga who the old nigger who don't approve of the neighborhood.

That's all them damn boys do. They ride up and down the street with that. loud-ass music and shooting and shit at each other and that's all they damn do. Well, I don't know they got to make the news. You see me on the news, y'all.

Oh, boy, they got plates in their motherfucking, they walking in with plates and shit. This is a real, nigga, event. Who cooking? Shit, they brought that from the crib. Right. They showed up late on purpose, man. Let everybody sit down. We're going to bust their head

with their cart pot. Right. Nick, about to go up top and start serving. beans up top look we got chicken wings and beans if you want the macaroni that's extra fire a lot of gold teeth in this bitch yeah where the ladies at with the goals in Miami we're the ladies with the permanent permanent permanent like you've been doing this shit right ladies with the gold teeth they used to shake their ass and Uncle Luke videos where you at Harry Coochie bastards this is this is the

home of the booty music right here, boy. Don't get no more freaky in the shit they do in Miami. Shake the air, shake the ass, big with a bitch, big with a bitch, fuck the bitch in the back of the bat's sad. And the bitch wanna fuck that, nigger, you know what it is,

that I'm gonna bat, say, big booed bitch, bitch, won't you come on out? Say, shake the ass, shake the ass, shake the ass, shake the ass what it's all about. Said, big, put the boating bids is in the club, shaking and do it bad, and I know I came around and threw some cash

and you want to check that Tedd is an ass, and all that, check that. Nick are you on a nudge, Nicky you don't do that. predators, sick, sick to that, up, sick to that, sick today, sick to that, and shoot that, sick today, sick to that, sick to that, sick to that, sick to that,

shake today, sick today, sick to that. You know that? You know that? Uh-uh, yeah. And can you don't know that? A-uh. Hey, that's my favorite part. And can you know that?

Uh-uh. And you know that? How many ladies in here is still no Trina Part? y'all don't know that shit rap that shit then lady what you say tico one two three let go uh-huh uh-huh let go last ahead of five or six best friends nasty bitch hey you don't know now ho keep going you don't know now hoke yeah yeah Yeah. You don't know now.

The ratchet, bitches. Ratchet. You got to get Trina her credit, though. She was the first city girl. These young bitches are. Trina was the first one talking about that shit. All the women who wrapped that whole verse are the women who used to be hunting behind the house. Yep.

A little fast-ass girl. Hunching behind the house. Boy, hunting behind the house in Florida was always fun. The weather always perfect to hunch behind the house. Trina was the first city. All that shit, these young bids just talking. Tell the truth. Ain't the weather in Florida perfect

for hunting behind the house. In the summer, shit. Y'all can't find no baby, said of man. What a baby? It's a baby right now. Where the baby at? Who bought the baby? Squat for the poker bean project.

Where the baby at the gate? I want to see the baby. They go to the baby. Who bought the baby? Then the baby just walking around this show. Where the baby at? Who got the baby? He got the baby.

He holding the baby. Who holding the baby? Security. Oh That baby got more hat than my baby That's fucked up Go to sleep My baby ball head

That baby got more head Hey, ain't grown people Y'all owe this baby a favor I don't make everybody in here sing baby shark till she go to sleep Who the fuck the parents is allowed the baby to just walk up here like that? You know when your baby come out

when you got company. Go on back in the back, MoMo. You're so pretty little baby. I'm over here smoking this shit. Oh, love, he's singing to the baby. I ain't going to stop.

I'm going to go over here with it, though. You's a pretty little baby. You don't know where you are right now. Your mommy brought you out the house. She couldn't leave you by yourself. Hello. She need to find y'all some hell. You such a pretty little baby.

She ain't got no teeth. You're looking at these people crazy. She ain't got no teeth. You're looking at me like you're not my daddy. She's got no tea. What's your name? 805 South Show. Good for the kids, too.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, cut the music. What's your name for you? You don't want to talk? You already holding her, she don't know you. You don't want to talk to the people? H, I, J, K, N-M-N-O-P, Q-R-S, D-U-B, W-S-T-U-V-W-S-Y-N-Z,

Now I know my hey-B-S-E. Stop, y'all stupid. Bitch, yeah, won't you sing with me? Yeah, little pretty girl. Let's be the turn. Anything I said, I said next time. Dude, that was so awesome, dude.

Won't you sing with me? Oh, won't you sing with me? I know what to make her feel good. Oh, what you do? Oh, what that do you do. I do the baby, too. When you night baby be talking like. She got all the hood, bitch, is like, chico, a good day, idiot.

I'm a great daddy. A great daddy. If you like that, baby, you're going to love my kids. She's going to be all good a game. She's holding my hand now. We're friends now. Going to be all good again. What's her name?

Italia. Hey, little Italia. Where are your parents at? Look, girl. One right here. How do they get her in here? Yeah, they're black people. They walk me in here.

They walked her in here. You already know she was talking shit. wish your motherfucker would say something about me at my motherfucking baby all these goddamn orange shirts any one of you put that cracker say anything about my baby Chico you are crazy

get them people they baby back then 90 orange shirts and y'all ain't doing shit ain't nobody got no cookies and nothing for the baby ain't nobody got no snack like juicy you got no french fries and nothing juicy juice a little french fries somebody go backstage and get that baby some chips

or stuff oh key is no french fries go get the baby some snacks And there's black people else in the other folk. Okay, you want some chips. Go and get that baby some chips. All right, a little pretty baby. She don't need no water, dude.

She ain't got no cup. That baby's a baby's a baby. You are such a little pretty baby. Look at your nose been running. You got the white. The one of your face is a little nose been running. Your mom ain't even bring no wipes to wipe your nose. I ain't going to do you like my mama used to do me

and lick her finger and wipe my shit. You are hate me forever. You're not related to that baby. You can't do that. No, I'm not going to do that. Only a immediate family could do that. Yep. Okay, I'm not to give you back to your mommy.

You're the dad and not, Chico, it's a rap. You want me give you back to your mommy? It's a wrap. He the dad and now, it's a rap. You want me to get you back to your mom. Nine years from now, she's going to be looking for your ass. Uh-uh. Dad, we're yet.

Now that baby got a sign a waiver so she could be able to show. Yeah, nah. That's pretty baby. Anybody else is bringing their kids. Who else got their baby on the floor? Come on. No kids to be left out. Listen, she's going to remember this for the rest of her life.

When we put this out on YouTube, make sure you say this video to show her as she grow up. You'd be like, girl, you was a star at the 85 South Show. Thank you, Attire, with your beautiful sad. All right. What the parents are at? All the parents in here make some noise. Take care of your kids. Take care of your kids.

I ain't even blaming you because this is a lot of black people in here, so we got to Shout out to everybody in here that left their kids at home with their kids. That's the most nigger shit ever. You will leave your kids at home with your kids. That's probably why she ain't leave a tire you home because her oldest baby with her daddy this weekend so she couldn't stay home and watch her. Now, you know, black folks.

You bought your baby here? That nigga, a grown-ass man. That's a grown-a-baby. This is big-ass man. Hell now, that nigga drunk. That nigga 31. Hey, I'm in here with my mom too. Yeah.

Nope, that niggas, slow. Don't you fucking start the shit. Mommy! Oh, hey-5-stop. Mommy, don't need me, mommy. Oh, everybody five, stop. Mommy. Oh, look, 85-5.

And don't be offended. We make fun of everybody and ourselves. and ourselves. We make fun of everybody. Slow people love us. They watch the show too. And they try to roast back. Yeah. You've been roasted by a slow person? The same way you look at slow people, they look at you. The slow dude on there trying to roast me on my Instagram laugh. Look at him. Normal. He's normal. Look a nigga scared to laugh. Like, I know, no. I don't want to go to hell. It's okay to laugh, man.

This is a real story. This ain't no shit I made up. They get on Instagram talking shit to me. And they tell you, they love you. Like, you see, boy, you're a motherfucker in the mall or something. She, girl, I love you. And I just be like, I love you too, baby. No, they do me knowing who we are.

I've seen a group of them at the mall. You know, they take them out. Yeah, and in the white band. Yeah, and he kept trying to speak, and she didn't know that he knew me. He kept trying to speak. And the lady was like, oh, I'm sorry, he doesn't know you. He was like, bitch, move.

Exactly. How the fuck could I make up some shit like that? This really fucking happened. I was with you when it happened. We were together. That's real shit. That's real shit. And he was a bitch, move, cullo.

I was like, nigga, take a picture with that thing. I had too. Had to, bruh. They love us. people love us in all communities the wheelchair community come out the mental ill community come out I had one to change me down how chase me down I should I won't bound I shouldn't have asked them I won't bound that thing got down spent that nigga was like hey oh oh I almost swung on it again I'm like hey ha what the fuck

Catch one in Miami. They still be gayed. Push there and cracker. What are the fucker and cracker. Stop, man. Y'all are fucked up. No, we're not. We are fucked up.

So what? We don't give a fuck. These are jokes. That's the wrong with the world now. But see, yeah, because everybody wasn't born like that. I know some niggas who was real gangsters and got shot and now they handicapped gangsters. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a lot of them.

Salute to all the nigg that got shot and then that leg All of us know a gangstads nigger that got shot and he's got to lift his leg up. Hand fucked up. But he's still a gang. I got this thing on me too though. Like on the bad leg, put it on the other side. They got a good thorn. That's all he got.

You got a good thorn. Hey, come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come out here. Come here. Yeah. Something in my pocket. I can't get it. Can you grab that out my pocket right there. Thank you, that's about that be. Put it in the cuff of my hand, yep, in the cuff.

You got it in the crease? Yeah, it's in the crease. That's the thing, man. You got it in the crease? Lamb. No, bro, I was some real shit. When you did that, it just reminded me, bro. What?

I know you go to the strip club, you always see the handicapped do it. Uh-huh. He always see his partners in there trying to make sure he had the best time. he had the best time. I think niggas don't get enough credit for how we look at him for our homeboy. Not only did they take their home boy to the club.

I seen the nigga he was pulling his homeboy pan's leg to make it look like he would dance. Salute to whoever that was, you're a real friend, my nigga. The man, I was like, that's a real friend. That's a real nigger right there. Look at her, she pointed her homegirl like, bitch, that's the type of friend I need in my life.

Move my legs to me if they stop working. That's what I'm talking about. Make some noise you in here with your best friend. With your partner. If you're in here with your partner. I'm talking about your road dog. That you're gonna go to war with. That you won't go to deal with you.

Whatever. Yeah, not leave you, scary bitch. Can't stand me a scary bitch. I'm talking about, hey, if you were here with your real friend. Don't ever forget that you made noise at this show. If y'all ever fall out, don't never tell all the goddamn business. Don't do that. some lame as hell.

Can't wait to tell another people. Y'all fall out, you don't say shit. Even if they say something, don't let they lord to fuck yours up. Right. For real, that shit lame. Don't let no fuck your character up being no stupid ass. But it's certain colds this shit, man. Like, if you're a homeboy

and then you're certain shit you just don't do. You don't fuck with your homeboy, girl. You don't fuck with none of the business. His main lady. His main lady or baby mama, you don't fuck with anybody else is a go, though. You don't stick. You don't steal from your, partners, nigger. You don't lie on your

partners. You lie for your partners, but you don't lie on your partners. But fellas, we got to learn how to lie for our partners a little better. Learn how to laugh for your partner. It's the partner fault, because a nigger put you in the line. Won't even tell you that you in it. Niggins don't give you no kind of warning or nut.

His girl's just calling you concerned. I was just checking on you. I heard you had a car brake last night. Ooh! Just know that fellas, you got to do it like the ladies do it. They don't flinch. It don't matter what you call her friend with. Hey, man, what the fuck?

What the fuck happened? I heard y'all got into a car wreck. Yes. Oh, my God. Immediately, she don't park. Oh, yes, my back, baby. Bring that ice back back here. We're so lucky to be alive.

We are so lucky to be alive. You're like, all right, all right. Yeah, all right. I just make a show. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney. the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.

On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal.

He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace.

You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our own. 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets.

Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of Uncensored Motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the host of the Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here.

If you like witty women, then this is your tribes. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women. type predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else want to get pissed off because the white

said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade and I called to ask how I was going. She was like, oh, dad,

all they were doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money.

Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when the man sends me money. I'm like, oh my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the good mom's bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network.

The I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. But the women, the fuck, they lie up. She'll pull up later on that day in the same car. But to keep the light going, my trunk won't open. Lying bastard. Ladies, how y'all learn the lie so good? At what age do y'all learn to lie so good? It's an instinct.

Huh? It's an instinct. When they ask a question, they best friends are already. First of all, y'all do not learn how to lie from us because we don't never get away with our lives. Y'all catch us in every lie we ever told. Oh, let me ask the ladies. I need one lady to answer this question for me.

Hold on. Hold on Waffle House. I just need, give me one. I'm going to come back to you. Give me, I need one lady that can answer this question. What's the best lie a nigger ever told you? That you believe. That you believe.

That's too easy. That's too easy. I love you. We all believe that goofed and shit. I love you, babe. I'm a star. What he said? Hold on, what did he say?

The only girl he was talking to. That's an elementary school lie. We talk about good lies. A good, a good, a good, a good ass. Hold on, hold up. The bitch with the Henderson shirt said it. What she say?

He had a baby. That ain't his baby? No, they made them. You believe that, bitch? We talk about next level lies. See, these. What's what you were here. I believe you.

That's not the baby. tell you. She's about to what did that the nigger? Hold on. This nigger, the nigger with her. The nigger with her. She said, he told me. Hold on. We got to hear what this nigger said now.

What do he say, ma'am? He was at some bitch house for two days. He went to go make a drop and you was at the bitch house for two days? Nigga, you lame as hell. You don't go stay well. You don't go lay up with the bitch. You're supposed to fuck and go He made a drop, he dropped some dick off over there and stayed.

Put the fuck in the car and told that bitch, look, your Uber on the way. Y'all, and this is the fuck their part about niggas. This nigga just sitting in like this. Bitch, I thought we was past that. You never passed it. You never passed it. That was 10 years ago. You had never passed it.

Two days? I'm mad at you, motherfucker. Two days? Yeah, you laid as hell. You over-deed it, nigger, two days. She still went your stupid ass with two days. And then when she found out. Oh, she like that ain't even that.

What you say? Oh, all the kids are from cable. Hold on. What did she say? Start over. Hold on. Oh, that. The bitch left him at the Greyhound station.

I'm coming. Uh-uh. She said the bitch left him at the house and she had to go pick him. No, she said the bitch left him at the Greyhound station. Fuck that. No. She put that thing on the bus? Since you want to got down.

What a year? Chico, go all the way through them. Where they are? Yeah, we got to hear his life. Look, everybody who's standing up knows his hell and want to hear the rest of the stories. Yeah, hell, yeah, everybody want to hear this shit. I'm going to sit in my lawn.

We don't need no music because we're going to all be quiet so we can hit his shit. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 85. Look at that, nigga. No, it's too late, nigga. Eat your wings. It's too late. It's too late.

So. Chico, ask her then get the nigger version. What? What's your name? Mimi. Mimi. Don't get the nigger name for his anonymous. Mimi, where you're from, Mimi?

Keep him an anonymous list. Miami. So, Mimi, you said he said he was making a drop and he went and stayed with the woman for two whole days. And then you said, what happened? Then the bitch left him at the Greyhound Station. Stupid a damn boy.

Nika, the Greyhound. Watch all the buses go back. The bitch left him at the Greyhound Station with no luggage. Now, now we'll hear from the plaintiff. 85 South showed divorce court is live. He did defend it.

Oh, the defendant. My bad. I'm retarded. Excuse me. Wait. It ain't true. Just chill. Classic nigga lies. Wait. Wait. Let this man state his case.

Asked a nigga how he ended up at the great house station. Wait, let him let him stay this case. Because the Uber was too expensive. Just chill. I needed a ride, pick me up. Uber was too expensive, so you were going to go to another town, stupid-ass thing? He didn't tell you he was at the Greyhound station at West Palm Beach. Oh, this nigga was on the vacation. Wait, wait.

In this bitch, I all at the beach. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. You're the majoring to West Palm Beach. Yeah, I live. But, hey. In the Greyhound. West Palm Beach to Miami is expensive,

motherfucker. Come on now. We know it's like two and a half hours of traffic. Come on now. That nigga talking about shit. There's nothing to do it, none. Tampa two and a half hours away. That's all I got. He was doing a drop.

And he didn't want to pay for the Uber because it's two hours and 45 minutes from West Palm to Miami. And the Greyhound is only $60. So he wanted to pay for the Greyhound. He is not a part of the Black Man Doe Cheat Association. It doesn't matter. This nigga was at West Palm Beach and a Greyhound.

And bitch, you went to go get him! Listen. Listen. Listen. He must be fucking the shit out her. She said, yeah. The dick is five. She said the dick five.

That nigga was at the Greyhound like, man, look, baby, I need you to drive three hours. Look at all the niggins. Look at all the niggins in here with a greyhound ticket like, fuck. This nigga fucking it up for. Yes. The girl he fucking sitting up top, like, she ain't lying. Right. Three hours of the West Palm Beach. Look at it. Look at it. Look at the big Haitian nigga record me for all the people.

Yeah, what, you're a real nigga. Yeah, that you're a big black man. You're like, you're from Wakanda. What it is. Boy, that nigga told his girl he's going to make a drop laid up with the side chick for two whole days. God, damn, you ain't here looking like the Staples easy button. you I salute you sir oh my goodness oh look at that tomato oh shit she looked like a sex-ass Honda Civic like that shit this nigga just gave me a chain to say mr. donut burgerer if you don't throw that shit oh you make donut burgers what you got your own

business tell them about mr donut burger yeah yeah this is your boy mr donut burger Yeah, yeah. They take this shit back, nigga. That was the worst pitch ever. What the fuck? Tell him about your dinner. Yeah, yeah. This is Mr. D donut burger.

What else, nigga? We know that much. I told him that already. Buster rhymes and lips. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Dothnett burger, what made you do that? That nigger really, like taking doughnuts and putting hamburgers between them? Well, loz.

But time out, Lowe. Hold up. You acting like diabetes ain't running, rampant in the black community. Why are you trying to kill your people, sir? No, it's a good business. But time out, Lowe's, and we're going to do that to the nigger. Fellas, what's the best lie a girl ever told you, nigga? Say, baby, I mean.

A good lie. I'm talking about what's the best lie of a woman ever told. Hold up, time out. We got one right here. What did you say, names? That's your white lady right there? You don't even get the answer to the answer. Time out.

Time out. What did you say? What she said? He doesn't be lying, too. What happened, nigger? She said, what happened one time? He said we don't want to talk about what it was But she said it was only once

It happened more than once She fucked off on you one time Fucked them up That nigger land That's what it was That shit still hurt Ladies y'all lies too deep You'll start lying the night

By some shit You're gonna do in 2021 That's how good y'all live All your friends know the plan Everybody gonna be with it You got a whole nigga You can't go to goddamn Poonta Cantor with And y' y'all have been planning

this trip for two years and your nigger just think you're going to stay with your family. Ah, the nigger went to West Palm Beach on the great hound though. They see the niggins. He was up there. He was up there that thought he had a ticket with it. They were like, how you gonna get home? He's like, shit, I got a ride. Niggins standing up there at the bus station.

Dix stank it and sticky. You know he ain't watching dick before he left. But get what? She don't get as much credit for him. a lawyer bit to stay down with a nigga through it's bullshit you think what i'm saying so i salute you too bits you're a real one you drove all way up there two and a half hours mad as a motherfucker and was mad all the way back and you know a transmission slipping that big don't do 60 they're Baltimore ladies that's good that you stay down with your man through a little bit of turmoil

because you ain't gonna do nothing but find another nigga to give you some new turmoil so you might as well stick to a nigga you know, you know what I mean? I tell the bitch, look, the nigga after me it's going to be worse than it, you hit me. He's going to be worse. You think he's going to be, I fell in love. I'm like, no, you didn't, bitch. Look. Cheat on everything.

Because ladies, all y'all do is going to tell all y'all do is going to tell the new nigga all the shit the old nigga did so he know exactly what not to let you see. This nigga went to the motherfucking West Palm Beach with two days with a bitch and caught the Greyhound. This nigga on the phone castle of his Greyhound subscription. I would never

no shit like that to you, girl. Ain't no way in the world. Graham, the bus? How many seats on that motherfucker, 32? About six? Women get mad. They'd be mad about the other shit you did. They don't give a fuck about the pussy.

They know you're going to get some pussy. They just find out little shit to get mad out. So you feed bitches? You feed bitches now? Like, when you start doing that? Then you'd be some simple shit like, man, I took the bitch the goddamn finger licking, that was it.

Finger licking, ah, fuck. Every nigger ain't hit it did that boy. How many of you niggins have had to jump because your bitch bugged at you? Made you feel like a whole bitch. You didn't for 50 niggins. She'd go like, you go up to, hey, man, I just took her the finger licking.

Stop playing. Stop playing. Bitch ain't doing that to those nigger that crazy. Hell no. She's keeping them hands down. You hear me. Bitch, you had like you want to hit me if you want to. We can yell all day, but bitch, you ain't hitting nobody.

These women are take off on your head quick. I beat your brother's ass, bitch. Some of these women ain't gonna call me. You don't even know what happened. I thought we was okay. Fuck you, digger. Some of these women going to swing on you themselves. They hit hard like niggas.

Like, bitch, you was raised with your brothers. Stop, don't clap for that. You see, you think violence against men is acceptable? Fuck you. They do think it's acceptable because they know. Except that is domestic violence. It don't matter how bad you beat your nigger ass. He's still going to jail.

That's the fucked up. You show up, nigga, face like a little bow wow. Big ass scratch. Let me tell you. Lock you up. Bitch, you're stupid for even calling 911 in the fucking first place. Okay? Once you, you ain't scared nobody about $9.1.

Bitch, call him. Hit the green butt. Bitch, hit the green butt. And I believe y'all are laughing at violence. Whatever. Ladies, look, if you're going to do that shit, don't get the police involved. Put the police all in the nigger business. Y'all don't be one thing of all the police to the nigga defend itself. You didn't hit me with 90, 30-piece combinations.

I'd ate them all. You didn't hit me with the toaster, the lamp. You didn't stomp me out. And as soon as I got damn push you, huh, ah, you put your motherfucking hands on me, nigga. You put your motherfucking hands on me. You're like, bitch, I'm bleeding. Look at my face. And they both look stupid when the police get there.

She didn't whooped your ass for two hours. You just give up. Like, bitch, you won. See, what it is. See, men, we just more physical. You see what I'm saying? They get that beat up on the other. See, women just swell up.

That's why you can't do nothing. Even if you push them, they actually didn't hit the wall. She then went through the wall. She's in the bathroom now. I can't believe you. Right. I'm like, bitch, you clumsy, bitch. You did that.

Nah, don't do that. Looking sharp. Now, you unplugging all the phones. You ain't calling nobody, bitch. Man, if you got to unplug her phone, you fucking with a real hood, bitch. She still got a house phone. Man, yeah, this bitch crazy.

He's got AOL. I'm kicking shit up and stop playing, you. Who ain't here still got a house phone like a landline? Man, y'all must still live with your nana. That's everybody who 40. Look at them. You live with your nana. We'll be surprised on how much of a land.

You still need a landline. Like, there's a house phone just, you know, give you to motherfucking your own. That's why it's so different raising kids now. Like, my daughter got it good. Like, nigger, I used to try to sneak and talk the bitches on the phone. Remember you? I call at 9.30.

I'm gonna let it ring one time. You answer the motherfucker. Hello, hello, hello? Hey, yeah, what's going on with you next thing you know? I know you ain't up there on my motherfucking phone. You're like, click. Oh. And kids ain't got to worry about this shit no more.

Nigga, I never forget I was talking free to a girl on the phone. Nigger, I didn't even know my mama heard the whole conversation. Because she downstairs on the phone. Niggas, she on the phone, nigga. I go down the phone, I don't got off the phone, nigga, she on the phone sleep. I'm like, this bitch fell asleep on the freaking top. That's crazy.

But then your mama so disrespect what she'd say, oh, that's what you do, you like to lick what? Hello, click. Oh. I wish my mama would answer the phone. What you like to do? Yes, that's what I like to do, Ma. Get off the phone.

Now what would I say? Yes, let me get on your clip. They didn't even listen to see if you was on the phone. Just pick that motherfucker and start pressing them. Hey, hey, I'm on the phone. Oh, I need to use it. Get off of it. Hey, the funny part is when you hear them trying to be sneaky picking up the phone,

you didn't hear all the noise. Bitch, I hear you. Get off the phone, Ma. Yeah, that was back in the caller ID days when it was a whole nother machine. I call ID back when you had to use the answering machine and lead music on that motherfucker that was the days you called niggins yeah hello you have reached chico sorry i can't get to the phone right now but if you just leave your name and number every time i see your face it makes me want to see what everybody yeah just leave your name and number i'll get back

with you as soon as i can crazy yeah you're an asshole for that shit man well i used to be Because I'll be the homeboy who called you. Like, man, take the goof-ass shit over there, bro. I used to be pinned on my ass and shit. Hello? Hello? I hate you. What's up, boy? I hate you.

Hey, you know what time of that. Why you're stupid at they talking about it? You don't do that. I hate you. My daughter did that shit to me. I call her and she like, hello. I'm like, hey, baby, what's going on? Nothing.

I can't really hear you. Hello? I still can't. Hello. Baby, what the fuck is wrong with your phone? Hello? Speak louder. I can't hear you, Daddy.

I'm like, hello, psych, I'm this plan. I'm like, damn it, you, what the fuck? Shit make you mad. You can't even leave a message, and she doesn't say a daddy on the shit, so that me ain't nobody else calling that she want to fuck with but me. I don't even want to be by this pink-ass pillow.

Yeah, that shit got fleas. I don't know where they be finding these Martin Lawrence couches for us, but we appreciate y'all. Look at that little square shit. They could have just saved. Yeah, that's a little. red carpet for little people. That's like when you're having a baby shower

and you put the shit out for the kids to walk on. Damn, why you say baby shower? I'm high. Now I want some of the meatballs that be at the baby shower. Bidchid should be bussy. Is there anybody in here know how to make them? Hell yeah. That lady in the red and know how to make them.

Baby shower will be having all the holes. I'm like, damn, I'm going to push up to the baby shower. That's how you know. You go to the baby. You're right. That's where all the holes are. You can always tell who they are because when she opened the gift,

the holes always like that's cute if you don't know what to buy the baby shower will bring to a baby shower simple bottle water that's all you got to bring babies all we thirsty said out to all the niggins that still got their burberry shirt from their baby shower in the closet stupid ass niggins that's a that's a black man national treasure you go to your baby shower you gotta have your burberry if you're the biological father I've seen a few stepfathers trying to sneak and wear the goddamn bear a shirt this year can't wear the berber shirt with sweatpants dumb ass niggins shit it depends on the shirt you are in the dark she said that in a cloud full of smoke

y'all look like the y'all look like the people that be on first 48 that don't want their identity reveal yeah i know what happened but i ain't gonna see shit they just it's over there i could just see me me at the part and telling people how I met my wife. Yeah, I was at the show. This crazy bitch yelling at. I knew then she was the one for me. Period. She said, period. Never mind.

I can't find. Oh, just no bitch say that. No, I can't put with you. Period. This bitch is slow. Eight time five. Come on. She don't know it. Period. This bitch said 12. This bitch is trekked. So baby, still up? Shit. What the lady said they got a man, but you want to another one.

Oh, that baby be like, my, I'm hungry. That is the 85 South Show baby right there. That's she is a part of the thing. You check on the baby. What's she doing? She's standing up, just walking around. She's walking around playing with people. Soon.

Soon she's going to be walking up. You better be lucky she can't talk too good because you know she'll be down the mind. You got gangs on your phone. That ain't going on. Your baby, cool. At least your baby are no cry baby. Shit.

Can't stand cry, cry, baby. Oh, pussy. Man, Todd, I don't want to say it, but God, damn, man. That made a little pussy at their guy, damn. Can he move? I want your mama, man. You know, it's the worst when they be having them babies on the airplane, they'd be crying, man.

Oh my God. I turn around. My mind fuck up. I'd be like, look. Ugh. Bitch, boy, I hit you in, they got their baby. Black people got natural instincts when they come to kids. I was at the airport the other morning

this little boy was in the little snow part he asked his mom for something she put it she said no put it down he threw a bit jumping all on the floor all the black people stood back and was looking like ma'am fuck him up being the stow acting a goddamn fool you're supposed to fuck him up right there

right let me tell you something as a black community I don't give a fuck what going on we need to help get your kids fuck that bullshit and take a minute it's a minute raise a motherfucker child. Let your child be around me doing some of that stupid shit.

I'm excited. Act food if you want to. Hey, hey, little bigger. Hey, boy, I beat your motherfucking ass. Get your stupid ass up off this forward. Apologize right now, boy. That's the fucked up part, though. Purrins don't be wanting to be concerned

with their kids until somebody else try to raise them. You ain't paying no attention to your kids. As soon as the teacher be like, your son really needs some help, and he's coming in. He's showing displaying behavior. that's just very abusive. He's very aggressive and clad. First of all, bitch,

don't be talking bad about my motherfucking baby. Like, man, well, your son is in the third grade. They can't read. They can't clap because there's them. They'd be like, eh? Period. Some of y'all got little badass kids, though. You know you got a badass little kid.

Makes a noise of your kid. You know your child bad as a motherfucker. Keep it 100. Don't be bullshit. You know your baby bad as a motherfucker. You didn't seen them be bad. Cursing out of thought. Shut up, bitch.

Ha! Y'all think that shit is funny. Look at Jojo. Shut up, bitch. That's why you are bitch, bitch. Hey, hey, sometimes parents would know it ain't your fault. You just picked the wrong motherfuckers to have kids with. Right.

You had a baby by the biggest dope boy in Miami. You wonder why your son had daycare with his shirt off all day. That nigga got this shit right off his daddy. That nigga, I'm gangster. Yeah. That shit, he's home right now. Yeah, niggas quiet. You got quiet than a motherfucker.

Texting their baby, you need to improve your behavior, son. Ah! No, damn where they baby is? How can that man did they care? But, look, no, I don't care. At least you, you'd be proud that your baby is, like, being aggressive, not going to be doing. They're like, you're like, you're going to be doing.

You know baby is walking around, just hitting kids. You like, hear him. Good, because, whoo. Yeah, you do that until your baby catch that ill. Then you'd be mad to the motherfucker. Mess with that wrong little quiet little boy to be in class by herself in the back of the classroom like this all day.

The baby walked past and hit him. Leave it along. Now your baby got a concussion because he got fucked up by a little rah-rah. They can't control the egg job. Huh? The nigga can't control the eight. That, if you're in school, that nigga, that'd be like that.

What you want to go right on? Yeah, we're a junk right, right, man. You're crazy and fuck. You're saying this shit now. It's a nigga in here rocking back and forth. Right now. Still got that shit. And they're going to cocaine.

He ain't laughed the whole time. He going to laugh at the end all they want. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah, that's stupid and fuck, right? Yeah, that's the thing about being crazy.

People don't respect your crazy. Until you show them how crazy you are. Some ladies are just flat-out tape, like, look, you don't want me. I'm telling you, I'm gonna fuck your life up, leave. What's wrong? What's with you? The beautiful you seem to have it all together What's wrong?

A bitch crazy And a nigga That don't scare a nigga A nigger dumb assay What kind of crazy Nigger? She told you she was crazy Leave her alone

Niggas don't like to leave Well enough alone She thinks she'd meet that crazy nigga Right You ain't crazy Crazy nigger Change your life ladies And you fucking with a nigga

That ain't got at all This nigga don't yell or nothing You did some shit You know it's fucked up You did some fucked up Like, babe, what's wrong with you? Oh, you wonder what's wrong with me, huh? Yeah, well, uh,

it seems to me that you don't have the respect for me that I think you should have. So, uh, this niggas start taking the shit off. I'm gonna have to show you. Like, what you get naked for, what the fuck? I turn on the inside. It's nice and crazy. She ran to a crazy man.

A real crazy nigga. They don't do. He's silly. He goofing. He's laughing at all the shit she thinks she's doing crazy. She grabbed the cones and she hit the nigga. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! She like, what wrong with you? Ha! Bitch, you gotta go to sleep, man. They like that old crazy-ass. They like, make them know, you like, oh, crazy-ha-knick. I play those games with you, bitch.

Let's go. Let's go. Fuck that. You get the crazy nigga going to show up at your job, ladies. You're going to be mad as a motherfucker. He walking, and you walking your job. That nigga and that talking to your supervisor. Wait a minute.

Did you hear her say, yeah? What is the fuck going on down here? You like this shit? They like that, man. We like to be controlled. Not just to be like, bitch, walk in line. No, not no slave. They like to have it like they're mad.

Yeah, ladies don't like no soft-ass. I don't like no soft-ass. That you can run over. Yeah, I mean, old friendly Tyler Perry movie, current-ass nigga. What's wrong, babe? What's wrong? Come here, baby.

Whatever you need, baby. Whatever you need, I'll take care of you, whatever you need. Whatever you need. Get your pussy ass on, man. Do your feet hurt? Do your back hurt? I'll rub your back or do whatever. You need, like, looking at this thing and like,

you, who's a bitch? That's fucked up. See, I know Miami. They're like, the gangsy sheep. They walk past your bitch at the house of your bush. Fuck up. Oh. They get away, that get a wet.

She'd be like, oh, you're so, why you just push me like that? That nigga love me. You're like, yeah, bitch, come here, you're a stupid ass. These Miami women are stay gone in your shit, all that damn day. I let that shit, I let that. Hit me, hit me, bitch. This shit get my dick hard. Come on, let fuck.

That's crazy, man. Abuse. That is abuse, this shit. I said like the rouser. It ain't abuse. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Shit.

They play. That shit feels good when you know your girl like gangster with you when you out. What? That shit turned me, y'all, what? Got to stop your bitch. What's swinging on me? Hold on. Hold on.

She's ready. She's ready to fight before you. Y'all got up in this bitch. Baby, chill out. No, fuck that. They're going to have to kill us, they are. Park the trunk, baby. Pop the trunk, baby.

You're like, all right, this bitch. What she's saying, bro. No, fuck that they're going to have to kill us at this bitch. Let's let's out this bitch. You'd be like, baby, no. I don't... Nah, fuck that I'm ready to die for you, niggil. Let's die together.

Bro. When your girl, I like to fight, that's the worst time. You got to keep control, huh? Especially if your bitch will pop off? Well, you have... See, his shit. It's a way...

What's you looking at? It's a way to tell if your lady is mean and the motherfucker. Like, this is a secret you can tell. Like, if you go out to eat with her and they fuck your order up and you be, like, ready to just... You know, I don't want.

I don't even worry about it. No, no, no, no, no. Excuse me, excuse me, sir. Could you come here for a second, please? I don't know if you speak English, but what did he order? Baby, calm down. No, no, no, no. What did he order? He said he wanted the chicken tenders.

Does this look like motherfucking chicken tenders to you? These are shrimp, stupid ass, nigger. Get my nigga shit right. And we better not pay for this shit, either. We bet not pay for the shit. this shit, dot all this shit off the bill, nigger. Niggins they got to sit down. You heard my bitch. Right. You can't

say nothing. You just sitting there line. She's telling you shit about you. You ain't even know. My nigger, allergic to onions. Your dumb man sitting there like, I damn show it. Hey, no, I can't eat that shit. Love your hood, bitch. You don't even let nobody look at you. You ever better

them all. You ain't even paying attention. You're looking at a shirt or something. Yeah, let me see that motherfucker in the media. Oh, he hell, bitch. Nah, that bitch was looking. Let's go. Let's go. Because I'm not in the motherfucking mood today.

Bitches want to look and shit. Since bitches want to look, I give a bitch something to motherfucking look at. That shirt ugly anyway. Let's go. Fuck that shirt. I buy you another. I'll buy you another. shirt.

You don't never see your girl when she do shit like that. She always kissed the shit. You're oblivious in the mind. You don't know what's going on. She just seeing you, you standing somewhere. Y'all motherfucking lying somewhere. Sir, can I hear you?

Bitch, he don't need no help. I'm helping him. All you hear, you stand in line, you hear your bitch, the fuck. God damn. Like, what is you looking at, bitch? Turn your motherfucking eyes. around before you lose them bitch now some of y'all gonna fight some shit like

they turn your eyes around before you do that some of y'all gonna have to fight though out of that talking ain't gonna do it some of them bids that y'all be talked to be with the shish too bitch uh-uh kisha uh-uh kisha this bitch thing we're looking at her man bitch we'll kill you know you have you ever see two bitches looking at each other like Bitch, I woke. Swain in hope. Swain, ho. I'm gonna tell you who they don't want those smoke with, though.

That girl, they work at Walmart. I seen that same shit happen. Look at the business at work at Walmart right then. I've seen the same shit happen at Walmart. The girl behind the register that she was talking shit to didn't even look up. Bitch, I come behind that motherfucking counter and beat your ass. I wish the bitch would jump behind the counter. Bandit's not if you want to beat somebody up at work, jump over here, please.

The bitch at Walmart, they'll jump your ass too. For real, for real. They'll call in on their walk and talking. Uh-uh, Kisha about to fight, bitch. Come on. Then that manager. Uh-uh, put them goddamn potatoes down, bitch. Come on.

That manager with the big-ass booty show up. Linda, Linda, come over there? So what seems to be the problem? They don't circle the bitch. Y'all not gonna do this in my store. Shout out to Walmart, bitch-titty lady. Which department you work in? Front and center.

Front and center. What type of Walmart you work at? I had never been to Walmart with the front-end center. Oh, you're talking about with the money. The mining center. Oh, she said money center. Oh, you work at Wood Forest Bank? You can sit in the money grams all day.

Okay. Wood Forest Bank. They got them prepaid debt cards. I ain't never seen a nigga with a wood forest bank account. It'd be all dope things in there. Look, look, I ain't got no idea, all right? Shit. You take that long-ass money gram receipt and circle the number.

Here got your number right here. Y'all still say them prepaid debit cards? Yeah, yeah, they do. Which color is the best one? The gold or the black? The green dot. The black one, bitch, they all do the same thing. The black one is free to love?

Oh, they upgraded, okay. Look at you promoting Walmart in this bit. If you don't sit your goddamn watch for falling prices and ass down. There ain't no real bank, nigga lose his car. All this money gone. That you go over her house. They ain't got no customer service, bitch. She probably got shit at her house.

She don't need to post the hell over there. She got to work in Walmart. She's been still in the whole time. This bitch got a tire alignment machine at the house. Right. She and that motherfucker. You go in her house. She got that blood pressure machine you sit in and,

bitch, you got the blood pressure check in here. Yeah, I walked it out when the Black Friday. Don't nobody be paying attention that day. She got a whole drink machine at the house. Boy, ain't nothing fun of that the niggis still in the Walmart. I don't get a fuck. They're putting around the clothes and second doze on the niggas. Because, you know, they got like two doors at Walmart.

Nick, the first door had to open up. They had to close the second door. they were walking. They were like, hey, that they ran right into the bitch. D.C., I seen the niggins the old national crawl out with a shopping car is that, you know, you crawl up under the shit. Yeah, they had to close the motherfuckers off in there because of crack kids kept crawling about that. This is just some ghetto shit. We love to go to Walmart. I love going to Walmart saying all the people face down there that they said they can't come in on the moment. Shit, right. I know all of them niggas. I'm like, niggas, I'm like,

Nick of Jerome, that nigga, yeah. Still, stealing. It's 2019. Hey, you ever see some shit? You ever see a deal so good at Walmart? You tell the motherfucker about it. What you mean? You just got a cart full of shit. People pulling up with me.

What the fuck you get the pork chops that, nigger. Four for 20. You better get over there. You better get over there. That shit crazy because I see Jerome the other day. You know, what's up on? That shit. You got your picture of being at Walmart.

Shit, you go to Walmart after. midnight, digger, their motherfuckers turn into all different types of people in there. That is where the ghouls come out in Walmart after midnight. All them people that's missing on that poster, they work in that bitch. That's what the fuck is going on. You walk in Walmart at 2 o'clock in the morning, nigga. You're going to see some wild shit. One thing you're going to see is a big-ass motherfucker riding around on that wheelchair.

Get, give me, give me. Can you reach up there and get them, uh, sell some flakes down for me, please, sir? It always be a big-ass lady in one of them schoolers. Yeah, a little bit of kids following her. Right. Who is fucking her big ass? Somebody.

I said, you want her battery here no way now, she was just. I thought that bitch was creeping up on me. I was like, oh, that bitch was, oh, you follow it. Oh, better or not? Y'all got the Spanish grocery stores in the hood down here. Like, yeah, they said a number got them seasoned salt. It'd be, like they sell fruit and shit you ain't never seen before. You're like, nigga, what type of watermelon is this?

Not the watermelon, is it like, watermelon. Why don't put season salt on everything? God damn, that's it. Y'all do put season salt on everything, chips, candy. What's the name of the Spanish grocery stores down here? We got where I'm from. You can't say that. Look, everybody said, that tar-or-rah-ro-da-ha-ha-ha.

Espresso. Presidente? Y'all got a grocery store called Presidente down this motherfucker? Oh, look, look at all the Spanish people. Didn't know that niggas went to the Spanish grocery show. We'd be in that motherfucking, like, here. Man, give me two of them Cornet Osadas with that orange seasoning on that. Boy, they don't even have, like, you know you go to Walmart.

You can get you some sliced turkey and ham and shit. You go in the Spanish grocery store, they got all types of shit in the meat department. You're like, what type of leg is that? It's very cool if you want to throw. I ain't that been to no Spanish store. Oh, I fuck with the Spanish grocery store. They all smell the same. They ain't got in my neighborhood.

There's nigglestones, niggleston, or niggasole. What? Who smelled like Fabilosso? That was racist, sir. Fuck you. They don't smell like faboloso. You talk like you stay in the trailer park, dumb mad, boy. Fuck wrong, too.

That's why your house sitting on four bricks, ugly, ass. Levi Spanish fridge alone. Your house gonna get the lean in England. Michael Jackson lean. We don't smell like Fabalosa. We got it at the Spanish store. We smell like El fantastico. And let's like all.

I'm fucking with the El Presente next time I come down here. I'm doing all my shopping at El Presente. You're one of the Spanish sodas. One of them got them crouttes. When we leave here, we're going to El Princente. El Presente. Oh, and we're going to be at KOD tonight, too. KOD tonight, too. They open their bit back.

Oh, yeah, they're going to be a week and the niggins going to KOD. Hey, I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. Fuck that. Last, I went to the strip club in Miami one time. I ain't been since.

Wow. Because them niggas down here is disrespectful. All you street niggas out here is getting a lot of money. Because I go to the strip club, you know what I mean? I got me $300. I'm thinking I'm out to do something. Oh, you fuck you not. Naga, I go to, sir.

This is a true story. I go to get my ones. It's three niggas in front of me. Yeah, nigger. get 5,000 war. Nigger behind him like cheap-a-niggin, let me get six. Nicky behind him like shit, fucking, nigga, give me a whole ten bands.

Bitch, look at me. I'm like, let me get a chair so I can sit with them niggas because they're about to have a good ass time. I'm about to sit right wherever the fuck they're at and throw my little 300. Amherstit just as far away and enough away so they don't know that I'm not with them niggas and them niggas know I'm not in their section.

I'm going to leave the motherfucking strip club and get so many lap dances off them niggas. My jeans is going to be a different color. I'm like, how much you spend? $20. Yeah, they play too much in Miami. Yeah, they played too much in Miami. One last time I went to KOD, they had a little lady that was a stripper, like a little person stripper. Yeah, she climbed all way up to the ceiling, sitting all way down real fast and then stop right before she hit the flow.

I was like, woo! I'm so glad that little lady didn't hit that goddamn flow because that would have killed me. Yeah, this is the home, like the ladies in strippers in Miami be all on the roof and shit. Y'all must got some good ass help and show. in Miami because y'all been to be swinging off the roof swinging each other i'm like look at this shit you can always tell who the strippers in my am in how because they don't never stop dancing bitch all at the grosser stuff doing this shit they're working out at the pregame nigg was that what you got in the white bag this thing got the goddamn so baby shower bags

bet not be no goddamn donut burger i'll tell you that no he got they got us some t-shirts they got us some t-shirts let's see what the t-shirts say we We fuck with gifts. What the shirt say? What the league read? What do the shirts say? Turn it around me. It's a empress don't even trip.

What that mean? What the fuck that mean? What do that, what do empress don't even trip mean? He don't even know. What? a woman that doesn't let her kids struggle a woman that doesn't let her kids see the side of struggle so nigger the sight of struggle so are you one of the kids nigger what you do he didn't make it again you you her boyfriend that's your fiance my behalf but the buck

like you know each other so oh real that's what it is well empress the woman the woman who doesn't let her kids see the sight of struggle. My mama was not one of those women, all right? We saw struggle like a motherfucker. I love her, but we struggled. So you, so stand in the hood and you just, like, hiding the struggle from them, niggum? That's going to be hard.

You know how hard that's the other fuck. Yeah, when you go outside, just close your eyes. We ain't struggling. We're in between blessings right now. You ain't a cripple, you hear me? We just waiting on God to move a few things around. What? You can't have your struggle, boy.

I don't get up. You grow up real life and like, damn, we were poor up. Right. Extra poor. Who grew up poor in here? Everybody need it. Look, niggas don't even make no noise.

They just like... Oh, look. The white dude, you grew up poor? If a white dude grew up poor, y'all grew up, extra poor. Poor poor. White people poor. is different y'all motherfuckers be woo that's a shame you to waste it your whiteness like that how do you be poor like we wear hammy down clothes but y'all clothes yeah they gave you a shitty deal

on that one they closed you smell like pee and shit you like that yeah that need me peed on y'all y'all's that lady right there's like fuck life just pee on itself she's sleepy as hell she's holding her head like she on that third shift she had to work last night oh what's man you don't walk down here okay he's not white he is he is Cuban his clothes and shit he gonna walk out here with a bag like a thrift store in this mom what the shirt say self-paid fam you gave me all right you gave me one all right what they say self-paid fam entertainment that's a record label you rap you know what it's not mine it's my friends it's my home boys I'm the type of friends you need when they'll go promote your shit

now you know what they told them man take your Put that cracker ad down and give him the goddamn shirt. Puss-a-a-a-cackle. Self-paid E-N-T, crack-a-a-cackle. He said, it's not mine. It's my friends. It's my homeboys. Dude, it's my guys, man.

We fucking own it. We sell-payee-D-T. salute to all the independent rappers in here, all the niggas that got their own record label trying to get their shit out of the ground. Keep rap. Keep doing your shit, nigga. You know what I mean?

Make some motherfucking move. Miami got some. stobaz rappers, you know what, for real? What, what, Afro, nigger? Boy, you look like one of them twins that dance like this, Nick. Ah, I, I, ah, I. Nigger looked like one of the less twins in this motherfucker.

You look like a did in the channel character. You got a what? You can sing. Come on, nigger. Come on, go on, go ahead and blue. Come on, side show bar. Come on, cord and blue. We're going to have a...

Nick, they don't know who he is. High school musical. I know you. Right, come on the ugly dude, that's cord and blue right there. Come on, when you go on, like this way. Come on, see, nigga, walk the other way. Come on, man, hurry the fuck up. Oh, he's coming this way.

Oh, I ain't doing that light skin shit, look how you run. Deja from the Waffle House, you were saying, too. Get your, oh, boy, the fuck. Dasia from the Waffle House, you can sing too. You want to say, too? You're ready, Corden Blue. Come on, baby. Deja from the Waffle House.

But this is the thing. So what's your name? If y'all gonna sing, y'all gotta sing about some shit that we tell you to sing about. So, what's your name? My name, Y'all, y'all. Look at the business, like, what, who fanning? Y'all, y'all.

Y'all, y'all. Now, we'll know if you good yet. I don't know if you good yet. What's your name? My name is Xavier, but y'all can call me Sabby. That's what I go by. Alright, now what are the same, ugly man? Ugly, me be ugly.

All right, I just, I got a couple choruses. That's it. My homeboy got a song. Can I show you that too? Oh, my Lord. Y'all are some supporting that. You go come sing another nigger song? I salute that.

Y'all some supporting motherfuckers. All right. I'm just tired of your mustache. Come on, man. Let's do it. We got them a mic. Sing, man. We got cold and blue a mic.

You can use, yeah, go ahead. You're going to use it. Yo, yo. Yeah, ya, yeah, yeah. Man, what the fuck is that? Boys, you don't get the fuck out of here. This nigga represent Miami. Get your boo-faz on.

This nigga represent Miami. Nah, no, nigger. Don't be coming here trying to cast no spells on us. You say that, what the fuck? This nigga is trying to cast spells on the nigh-ya. This nigga trying to cast spells on the- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This thing is doing a Native American chant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, what the fuck was that? That nigga just wanted to come on. Hey, but you come on beautiful later. Hallelujah, yeah, y'all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that nigger, okay. You got a song, you, bro. get your pursuit of happiness looking ass. Man, I'm mad as a motherfucker about that. Even the Cubans mad about that. What if I was that, man? That niggas, there's been crying for help. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Boy, we ought to kick your ass for this shit. All right. I was the real shit. He needed his ass whoop for that. That was fucked up. That was a bullshit. You walked out, boy. You were in Miami.

You took your talents to South Beach with that. There you go. We got the lovely Miss Dasia from the Waffle House that's about to sing a song. You better represent for the Waffle House, bitch. Alright, so this is a song that I just wrote. You just wrote it like right then. When, earlier today? No, that went a month ago. Oh, I'm about to take that.

I remember the first time I saw your face. Hold up, hold up, Nick. He felt like butterflies when I looked into your eyes. Yes She better than y'all No matter how long it takes Baby, I promise you it's worth the way So long as we take it slow

I'll show you the way Oh Let's take it slow Let's take it slow. Let's take it slow. We're gonna take it slow, bitch, but we better do something else. Hold on. Let's take it slow.

Hey. I said, I just want an all-star special from you. I just want an all-star special from you. Don't jump off the stage. I just want an all-star special from you. Waffles and toast, too. Whatever you want. Don't lie.

Baby, yeah. You're going to lie. Whatever you want. Take. Maybe, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take it slow.

Keep point, D.C. Let's take it slow. But I want my order to come fast, though. Take it slow. But I gotta go home. We got one waffle left and two scramble less. I'm a less, nigger, you gotta take it slow. Waffle House fiss up my order.

Take it slow. Take it slow. Take it slow. Take it slow. Drop my prize. Drop my hair's brown. Oh, whatever you want. Drop my hair's brown.

Smother scattered cover. I want some orange juice Mother scattered covered I'm talking about some fresh orange juice I want me a waffle I don't want that chocolate chip bullshit Whatever you want

Bitch I want you disgust it And I want you to turn it over And when I hear that bugger bugger Say be Whatever you We're ready to eat Take it slow Oh I'm about to take it

Take it slow. Take it slow. Take it slow. Take it slow. Take it slow. There we go. Take it slow. Let's take it slow.

Let's take it. Your booty grew slow. Now you see white people. Your booty grew slow. It's going to grow some more. Show them, show them, show them. Show them. Turn around and she said all.

Her booty grew slow. Her booty grew slow Her booty grew slow Her booty grew Oh Oh Oh Miami

Miami Miami Miami Miami Miami We lay y'all listen man We are the 85 South show

Her booty grew slow Vegas love She worked at the Waffle House But her booty shake like a pancake Oh shit, hold on, hold on Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Wait, before y'all leave, fuck that. Y'all trying to get back to the parking lot of shit.

We got to take a picture. Y'all saw 4,000 tickets in this motherfucker, Miami. So get up on your feet. Get up on your feet, get up on your feet and take your phones out, man, so we can show the world how Miami turned up for us tonight. Miami, give it up for the 85 South Show one more time. Give it up for Chico Bean one more time. Give it up for D.C. Yon Fly, one more time, Miami.

and give it up for Carlos Miller one more time. Miami, we love y'all. This is the 85 South Show. The coldest podcast, the new keys of comedy. Make sure you tell somebody what you're seeing here tonight. We love y'all, Miami. We got the 85 South Show band up in here. I got my man D-Clax on the keys.

D-Clax, do something for them. Yeah, my man D, clasks, on the drums, I got my road door, cut zo, do something for Miami, please. Yeah, that was cut too. And Miami y'all know, hey, J-O-N. J-O-N, do something for Miami, please. If you have, yeah, J.O.N. Miami, if you have meeting, great tickets, stay in your seats, please. If you have BIP meeting greet tickets, stay in your seat right here in the front. If you already purchase your VIP meet and green tickets, come down to the front right here.

Miami, we love y'all. Make sure you go on YouTube. Subscribe to the 85 South Show. Eddie Fly South Show on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Tell somebody you've seen the New Kings of Comedy. Chico Bean, Carlos Miller, and D.C. Young Fly. We sold out to James L. Knight Center. We appreciate y'all, Miami.

Get on safe. If you have BIP meet and free tickets, make sure you come down to the front. You guys can stay seated in the front if you have BIP meeting free tickets. Miami turned up. I don't know. I'm going to be able to be. I'm a lot of If you have B.I.B.P. Meet free tickets. Make sure you have B.I.P. Meet free tickets. Make sure you stay in.

Seats. Who are the next to me. Who next? Who next move on? Her and family with the high school together. Her and family with the high school together. Hello. Oh, yeah.

My rhyme with school here about. Come on, every show. Come on. Three. And two. And one. Come on. Come on, guys.

For me, I'm right. Yeah. Teachers. She goes the teacher that always believe me. Okay. Wait for them. She knew. It's gonna be good at second break.

This is my guy. We went to high school. I told you. My boy, Brian. Hey, remember me? You guys are Ricky just right, right. Thank you. Here we go, guys.

We're Facebook friends. Here we go. Three, two, one. Guys. I appreciate y'all at. Thank you. Thank you for me. I don't watch.

I don't watch. You know. I ain't the whole. You know. Oh, really, my lab, really. I know. I'll have to stand on this side. She would listen.

You think that you're not. You boo-law. You boo-boos to me. I know you're going to be a little boo-s. What's up, baby? I almost for a head. Here we go. Three, two, two, one.

Thank you. Here we go, three, two, one. My, sweetheart. Bye, sweetheart. Bye, thank you. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah.

I saw that shit. Yeah. I saw that shit. Yeah. Hey, hey, how move the fucking around? Brown now? Here we go, y'all. A month ago.

We were just down. Much ago. I saw that shit. In three. I saw that shit. Come on. One. Five and two.

One. Three, two, one. Fuck you. What you mean? I've been fucking with you. He didn't got drinking. Yes. You've been drinking.

Uh, oh, oh, fuck the street. Oh, see. Yeah. I've been fucking with you. Since you was a tissue. Uh-huh. I've been fucking with you. Earlier the day.

You ain't shit. No. Bitch, I follow you on motherfucking, uh, YouTube. Back in the day. Since you was a little, me. You got a good. You got a little. A living.

A living. I'm my soul. Appreciate it. Appreciate you, man. That boy, crazy's hell. Yeah. On my soul. Time to go up, bro.

Appreciate you all. My soul. Hey. Here we go. Three. Yeah. I'll buy you a bottle on my soul. I bet.

I'm going to make you back too. One. That's the most. Just like he said it, too. What's your, a bitch. I didn't fucking.

Yeah, I didn't fuck with you. I love you, bitch. He said it just like you said. Let's go. Three, two, one. One more. Three, two, one. Three, two, one.

He said he's in service. He said now. Okay. There's O.D. Oh. Oh. Oh. He said he's a hoot.

Oh, B. Here we go. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. All right, please, see you. I appreciate Joe, G.

Like that. What's up? What? What? Yeah, yeah. What's up, OG? Got the shirt on. Three, two, one.

Three, two, one. All right, thanks, man. Come on. Move them on, move them on. That's what they were on. How are you doing? Three, two, one. Three, two, one.

Two, one. Three places. There you go. I'm just trying to get out of here. Let's move. Fam, how on deck can like stand right there a little close? All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. He couldn't ask. All right. Here we go, baby. And three, two, one. Three, two, three, two, three.

Two, two, three, three, one, there you go, same phone, I got you. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna see this, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I got you. A little squirrel, and the, candy can't, man. Hey, sir,

yeah, yeah, I mean, busts, that did a lot with it, do it. Don't get no two, yeah, he's, he's great. Here we go, this, three, two, one. What,

You're like, Earl slap, Nick, put no it. There you go. Oh, why, no he did. What hell? You know he's up the trial by the call? But the money come? Thank you. Oh, there's he would.

It's good. It's okay. Yes, sir. All right. I'm going to go for you. Oh, man. Three feet. I'll go.

What's up, Sam. Three, two, one. One more. Three. Two, three, one, three, four. Okay, yeah, yeah. How are you? Okay, see.

Sam. His, Sam. Sam. I did, Sam. I did, Sam. I did, okay? You said you go to White Palm Beach? Let me go, y'all.

Three, two, one. One. That's great. That's it. Three, two, one. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's huge.

Big. You're big. You're big. Let's say, pull up. Get me. There you know. I don't know.

There's got no. It's got big. Oh. You've been to the next one. One player, man. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. Three, two, one.

My bet they don't give me from the payhouse. What I have? I have. All right. What's up, Gay? Here we go. Three, two, one. Three, two, one.

And open. All right, three. Join, three, two, three, one, three, two, one. You hate you, got going on. Yes, sir. Three, two, one. Join Iheart radio and Sarah Spade.

Three, two, one. celebrating the one-year anniversary of I-Hart Women's Sports. With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans with the heart of women's sports. In just one year, the network has launched 15 shows and built a community united by passion. Podcasts that amplify the voices of women in sports. Thank you for supporting IHart Women's Sports

and our founding sponsors, Elf Beauty, Capital One, and Novartis. Just open the free IHart app and search IHard Women's Sports to listen now. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart Podcasts in Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to The Turning River Road on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free.

I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. is an iHeart podcast.