The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #1740 Blowhard vs. Liar

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Dr. Drew tells us who is more likely to be a narcissist. They worry about the state of the world the narcissists in charge are leaving for everyone's children. Finally they discuss why people seem to like liars more than blowhards. Please Support Our Sponsors: Angi.com BetterHelp.com/AdamandDrew

Hey, this is Adam Parola. Let me tell you about my podcast. We do it every single day, so you can subscribe and there'll always be a fresh one waiting for you. It's about two hours of topics, topical topics, and news and guests and comedians and, of course, my own vitriolic take on just about everything that's going on in the world. Plus, we get a lot of really interesting, notable people who come in. We'll get politicians, we'll get tastemakers, we'll get stand-ups,

we'll get authors, we'll get pundits, we'll get... What did I say? Well, I think about covers of all celebrities as well, and we'll do some really interesting interviews with them. You can get The Adam Carolla Show wherever you download your podcast. Recorded live at Carolla One Studios with Adam Carolla and board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist, Dr. Drew Pinsky.

You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on the show. Get it on. This is Adam, Dr. Drew Show, Dr. Drew's Board for Herbicide. Herbicide. Herbicide. Now, that must have been on your mind. Nope. Really? Didn't come out of something

that you're dreaming about or thinking about this morning well you can never you can never say no yeah yeah you can never that one seems so it didn't follow from the flow as it usually does so i thought hmm something on your mind maybe i got stuff on my mind so uh i found a really interesting article uh this is called the American Affairs Journal. It seems to be kind of a right-leaning journal. But it was talking about mental health in particular political proclivities, right? You'll be surprised to know, essentially the way I read it is all roads lead to narcissism. Shocking.

Essentially, the way I read it is all roads lead to narcissism. Shocking. But that the history of mental health issues, mental illness, being told by a physician that you have a mental health problem or a mental health provider, way higher in left, liberal leaning, and particularly white female yeah well you have to think about the poster child for that movement in the white female department and the poster child is dolores i can't think of her last name who is billy jack's girlfriend and you have to think about the speech she gave by the Riverside. Dolores Taylor. Dolores Taylor, thank you. Oh, my God. When she looked at the other young girl and said it wouldn't matter. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It'll never end. Yes. And the anguish in her face and the frustration. Now, that was 50 years ago. Now, we listened to that. I can see my mom in her. That's what I was going to say.

That's what I was going to say. She is your mom, a younger woman. Well, look, let's just think about how you would be if you were, you know, your mindset, your mental. You know, you have two people. You know, forget about right or left or Democrat, Republican. There's just two people. One person can't cut into a stake without feeling guilty. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Conflicted at least. Conflicted, yeah. Or, by the way, really what must be more uncomfortable is announcing that you can't and please don't bring that my way and i won't go into that place there's all sorts of emotion attached to that yeah i mean we're talking about a strong you know vegetarian vegan or whatever but you've already set up a bunch of rules that you have to live by you know what i mean i can't I can't do this. I have to avoid that. Then you think, all right, you know, historically, who are we? Well, we, you know, we took the indigenous people and we

tortured them and threw them off their land. You know, they were proud and noble people who lived in peace with harmony. And then we came in and destroyed them, you know, and then we enslaved people. And then every, you know, then we, you know, we dropped the bombs on Japan, you know what I mean? Like everything is a sort of turn for the kind of, you know, who wants to tear down the statues? Is that a left thing or is that a right thing? And then you get into the environment, which is all encompassing. And, you know, we're not going to have an environment to leave our children. I would encourage my children not to have children because there's not going to be anything. So, well, now, whereas you may be looking forward to grandchildren, they are not. And you may be looking forward to going out and having a steak

dinner. They're not. And you may be looking forward to celebrating the 4th of July. They certainly are not. So there's that. I mean, just a kind of a... Just a day in the outfit. How do you walk around with that rucksack filled with negativity? Well, and then you fill it with self-righteousness. Right. And then you start making sweeping proclamations, which sound pretty apocalyptic. Let's think about where that comes from.

We've never thought about that. They on the right are trying to – they are trying to remove the ability for women to make decisions about their own health care. general sweeping kind of overblown proclamations, you know, well, then there's, of course, you'd have to have feelings about that that were very negative, you know? So you say it's not a woman's right to get an abortion, it's women's health care to make decisions about women's health. Well, now I have a daughter. She's not going to be able to make decisions about her own health care. Well, then that would depress me if I was listening to my own rhetoric, which eventually they do, or take anything race, you know, systemic oppression,

racism, you know what I mean, Baked into the fabric and the DNA. We're just living in a horrible society then. I mean, if you really think about it and then why wouldn't you be, you know, I have a certain amount of depression about living in California because Gavin Newsom is my governor and I'm fundamentally opposed to everything he stands for. And so that doesn't help me be happy. Forget just being opposed. He is actively undermining things you need to have access to, to be happy. Your electricity, free use of roads, the ability to move about without fear of violence. I was depressed during COVID because he shut my kids' schools down

and locked me in my house. Yes, yes. Yes, it made it, it was an effect. Yeah, I'm still angry about that. Yes, and so if your entire being was just that, I mean, forget about racism and forget about meat is murder and forget about women and their right to choose, you know, make their own decision.

Just go the environment. Yeah. The environment is going is being destroyed and it will it will be destroyed and we will have nothing in several years. So that's pretty much enough. That's all you need to be depressed. To be depressed. Okay. So I want to drill into that a little bit, this apocalyptic stuff, right? So I remember back in the day when I was sort of learning psychiatry, working in a psychiatric hospital,

one psychiatrist looked at me and goes, if they have an affective disorder, there's a personality disorder there too. It just is. And so the fact that there's such persistent affective problems predict that there are some personality issues amongst that same population. Okay. So I'm going to just make this argument. You and I have talked about how borderline and narcissist and cluster B personality types prevail today. I'm going to posit that as a fact. Okay. One of the strategies of people with borderline personality disorder is something called projective identification. Do you know what that is?

We kind of talked about it. You'll know it immediately when I describe it to you. So what it is, I'm judging by you not jumping in that I should describe it. What it is, I'm judging by you not jumping in that I should describe it. So what it is is a need to externalize all their disavowed feelings, very intense feelings, rage, anger. These things have to be projected into other people, literally to the point that the other person actually experiences their feelings. I know this sounds weird, but it is how they manage their feelings. And then they deal with them.

Then they focus on the other person's rage, the other person's misery, whatever it is, as somehow disconnected from them. And one of the most sort of common feelings that they disavow, borderlines particularly, murderous rage. Well, what better image, what better way to project your murderous rage into the environment than an apocalypse for the entire world? This is just their rage being externalized onto an apocalyptic theme that we all then have to absorb, right? That's what this is. And the more we sort of – now, there's, of course, maybe some reality. We need to pay attention to certain things.

I get it. But the apocalyptic part that, by the way, begs no alternative. You notice that? There's no fixing it. They're not into fixing. It's really just – and the data shows that it's maybe as high as 40 or 50 percent of white liberal females. That's a lot of people. Yes.

With projecting ideas out – unpleasant feelings into the environment that we are all absorbing. General to I have found that the right leaners, they're into church and they're into hunting and they're into doing a car show on the weekend and a barbecue and like shit like that. So here's the other part of this study that I thought was interesting. other part of this study that I thought was interesting. The author here says, you know, social researchers are 10 to 1 left to right, 10 to 1. So when they see data where the right is doing better, they want to explain it away in terms of deficits, right, or disorders or something wrong with the right that gives them that opportunity to prevail over everybody else. Well, it's that you don't care about the environment. You don't care about women's rights. You just want to go hunting. You just want your privilege exerted. That's really where they go with this. So from the standpoint of privilege, whatever that might be, the actual research shows

that the people on the right are more likely to be immigrants, more likely to be less wealthy, and more likely to be married and not divorced. Right. And more likely to be involved in religion and community. That's it. How is that? How do you make deficits out of that? of that well the left is in the business of trying to explain the unexplainable and and and sort of figure out a way to go well kids staying home from school for two years is actually a good thing

yeah you know what i mean and just, it can't work. You know, it, most of the stuff, you know, whatever it is, my mom was preaching about, it's just not,

it's not workable. It's not feasible. First off, you cannot save the planet. You cannot impact the planet. You cannot, you know, attending a march for women's rights does not change any legislation

or anything it's just you're first off in this futile futile position where imagine you know so here's the thing. I need to fix it. I'm going to do it. The garage door doesn't work. I got to fix the garage door. You know, these things, these things. And then I get the satisfaction of fixing the garage door and or anything that's of that nature,

you know, the sort of micro stuff. With your hands in the environment. Yeah, or I call a garage door company and it gets fixed. But either way, what if I was just responsible? What if I was, you know, John Lennon and I was just imagining no borders? You know what I mean? Well, now I'm going to sit around and do a lot of imagining. Yes. Because I'm not really in

control of countries and borders. I don't think I'm ever going to achieve that goal. You know what I mean? So he imagined a world with no religion, with no borders, with no possessions. with no borders, with no possessions. Okay, that's a tall order for people to pull off. My mom in her flop house in North Hollywood would have a difficult time getting rid of the border. I don't even think she could have got rid of the border between the United States and Canada, much less strayed into European territory.

You know what I mean? And God knows the Middle East. So now she has a life of imagining things that'll never happen. And I have a life of finishing off projects. So who's going to be more satisfied just sort of in general? Right. You know what I mean? Yes.

She wants equality for all and equity for all like she wants things that are unachievable she wants just sit and think about it and complain about it project these there's somebody sitting in the starbucks kiosk at the whole foods in santa monica some middle-aged white woman right now who's just imagining fixing the planet and the climate. Think how grandiose that is, too. So grandiose. It's always grandiose.

It's always grandiose. But also, how unsatisfying is that going to be as the weeks turn into months and the months turn into years and you're just sitting there scheming? But you hang on to your grandiose sense of yourself you don't have to challenge that and that's the thing that they need more than anything right yeah so it stands to reason that they would be unhappy i would be unhappy too if my mission statement was to fix essentially i'm gonna write every injustice there is in this on the planet and and in this country first i i'm gonna save the black community or the hispanic community i'm

that's this is what i'm going to do yeah um how would that work how satisfied would i be of how satisfied would I be? You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not, you know, the thing about, the reason people are so excited when they win a Super Bowl is they start with preseason, then they get into the regular season,

then they go through the playoffs, and at some point the game ends and they're hoisting the Lombardi trophy and they're being covered with confetti and no one's happier than them. But imagine if the game never ended. Never a game. Never a game.

That's a good point. We don't even play in the game. It just goes. It just is. The preseason is just endless. This is an endless preseason. And then you could go back and look at your proclamations from a decade ago and be the same ones you have now we're gonna win the super bowl yeah that's it so i i don't i'm winning it

i think you would be unhappy oh yeah and and you see it and but you also see it you know you see it a lot on like college campuses and stuff people that are sort of living. You don't see it at trade schools. You see it on college campuses. You see, the world of ideas is a dangerous one because they consume you and there is no finish line. To be fair, the world of ideas used to always have to be connected to reality. We've lost that completely. Yeah, well, Elon Musk has an idea. He wants to tunnel through the whatever, pass.

He wants to put somebody in outer space. He wants to build an electric car or whatever it is. But at some point, there's a factory. And then he sits back and he lights a cigar. He goes, now I feel satisfied. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Good thing we're talking about mental health today because BetterHelp feel satisfied. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Good thing we're talking about mental health today because BetterHelp can help.

And we spend a lot of time taking care of other people. And I know you think that everyone needs something from you. You get depleted by that. There's certainly, I mean, it's a good thing to do, but you've got to take care of yourself first. Like they say, you've got to put the oxygen on your mouth before giving it to the child. Yep.

It can leave you feeling burnt out. Therapy can give you some tools to find the oxygen on your mouth before giving it to the child. Yep. It can leave you feeling burnt out. Therapy can give you some tools to find more balance in your life, support others without leaving yourself behind. Of course, I'm a big fan of therapy. I'm a big fan of BetterHelp. I've referred family, friends, patients. I've been very pleased with the professional services there. And no longer is stigma an excuse, guys.

There's no waiting room. There's no running into anybody. You can change therapist anytime for no charge. If you're thinking of giving therapy a try, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, convenient, flexible. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. Switch therapist anytime for no additional charge, as I said. Again, I'm a big fan. We're talking about mental health today. Give BetterHelp a try. Right, Emmy? That's right. Find more balance with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash AdamandDrew today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash AdamandDrew. There's a clip that Ben has that I was talking to you about, which I thought you'd be interested in. I went ahead and found it. I love it. I think he's going to need to turn on the screen up there, or I will. Yeah, if you can figure out. We're kind of running as a skeleton crew because Emmy's taking care of business today

somewhere else for a week. For a week? I guess. I don't know what happened to people in their careers. It's a bygone era, Drew. It's not. Speaking's a bygone era, Drew. It's not. Speaking of a bygone era, I watched 1978 Love Boat yesterday. I did too.

You saw that one? Yeah. It's interesting. There's a lot of action in the beginning and the end in the port where the cast members, the regular cast members, seem to have a life they're returning to or coming in from. And by 1979, no, no, they're just on the boat. That's there.

They're just always on the boat. So, Ben, I told you to cut that clip of Trump talking about Wharton School and Biden talking about his educational background. And I was telling you, Drew. The differences. Yeah. Yes. Because.

One is blowhard. Right. Right. So the media goes Trump's a liar. But Trump's a. I mean, he's a liar to the extent that all politicians lie. But he's a blowhard, which is different than a liar. He exaggerates everything, sort of.

Even – look, if every time we went out to dinner, I started talking about being all Central Valley linebacker or whatever, I'm not exaggerating. I did. He went to the Wharton School of Finance. Well, he didn't. He was an undergraduate degree. When you say I went to Wharton, you mean a graduate degree. Oh, well, then he is lying. Yeah, he's not lying.

He did classes at the Wharton School, undergraduate. But people don't refer to it that way. They say, I went to University of Pennsylvania, unless they went to graduate school at Wharton. So he's playing with it. He's a blowhard. Right. So this is what he does. I went to the Wharton School of Finance. I was a very fine student. And I will tell you... Who knows if that was true or not.

One of the great schools in the world, the Wharton School of Finance, one of the hardest schools in the world to get into. I got in... Let me tell you an undergraduate program there. You know what I mean? It might be strictly he was there all the time. Well, he went to the Wharton School. It's the finest school in the world. But he is known to have attended classes there. Yes, that is true.

All right. So he's blowhardy. Blowhardy, yes. That's what he does. Yeah. But then there's Biden, who does something different. All right, let's hear that. Which is my favorite of all the Biden clips.

And there's a lot of them. This one is still my favorite. We'll see if Ben can sum it up. It's the best. It's years old, but it doesn't matter. He's 50. New questions stem from taped remarks of Biden during an April campaign appearance in New Hampshire. I went to law school on a full academic scholarship.

The only one in my class to have a full academic scholarship. Went back to law school and, in fact, ended up in the top half of my class. I was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year. I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school and 165 credits, only 123 credits. Biden now concedes he did not graduate in the top half of his law school class, that he does not have three degrees from college, and that he was not named outstanding political science student. It's so random.

Biden actually went to school on a half scholarship, ended up near the bottom of his class, and won only one degree, not three. Joe Biden. All right. Now that's just lying. He just lies. But it's so random.

It's like, wow. You know what I mean? It doesn't have even a hint of truth to it, except that he went to law school, I guess. Okay. It doesn't have even a hint of truth to it, except that he went to law school, I guess. I mean. Okay. I don't get why people don't understand that things stand for something.

Well, what scares me, though, is the rapid-fire means in which he brings that out. Either he said it many times before, or he's an incredibly good liar. I had 178 credits. I only needed 123. I got three things. It's very specific. Very. That's why he pushes people away.

That's how he keeps them at bay. Right. When they're specific, you're not usually lying. Right. So one's a blowhard. The other is a liar. is a liar and in a weird way most people and especially women hate blowhards more than they hate liars yes now for me blowhard is just kind of window dressing like all right yeah like i've i've look you know i've dealt with a lot of guys in my world that I, you know, people go, God, that guy's such a blowhard.

I go, yeah, yeah, he is. He's a blowhard. But he gets the job done. Like, he's good at what he does, but he does a lot of bluster. After every football game, the blowhards would assert themselves about what they did and who they tackled and what their game was. You know what I mean? They'd always make you relive their experience. Yeah, the blowhard's everywhere all the time if you're a man. Right. But why is the liar more palatable than the

blowhard, where for me, the liar is much more dangerous than the blowhard? I have an idea. Hmm. Well, I built the case earlier in this program that there's a lot of borderline personality going on. Guess who borderlines are attracted to more than anybody? Sociopaths who are liars. Yeah. I need to hit a sponsor real quick and then we'll get back into this. I want to tell you about my friends over at Angie. Homeowners, you know it's a lot of work down a home. Whether it's everyday maintenance, repairs, or dream projects, it can be hard to even know where to start. All you need is Angie. Your home for everything home. Find a skilled local pro who will deliver quality and experience. Over 20 years of home service experience. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie handles the rest.

Look, you're busy. You don't have time to do all this stuff. Let Angie handle it. Take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit online. Visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. A-N-G-I dot com. That's Angie. Let them do all the heavy lifting. Yeah, and I'm not saying it binds the sociopath, but I'm saying— What you saw there— Those are sociopathic techniques. —is sociopathy. I mean, that's insane. And you know what's kind of interesting?

What's kind of interesting to me is people don't really recognize that. Meaning, if I always kind of use this example, but I think it's dead nuts on. You know, if you met somebody and you said, oh, I'll come to your apartment and they'll come to your apartment and pick you up. We'll go out to dinner or something. And you said, oh, just give me a minute to get my glasses from the bathroom or something. You walk there and you just saw in the mirror them kick your cat. Yeah.

You'd go, that's a fucked up person. You know what I mean? And someone would go, maybe he's a cat kicker. But that's all. Right, they don't connect it. I'd go, no, no, no, that's pretty fucked up. The cat came to rub on the shin and the person kicked the cat. And to me, that's a global thing. There's pretty fucked up. The cat came to rub on the shin and the person kicked the cat. And to me, that's a global thing.

There's much more there. If you can get up on a stage in front of microphones and rattle off an academic career that never happened, something's wrong globally. You know what I mean? And now you go to, I've never spoke to my son about any of his business. Oh, oh, yeah. Same person. We shall believe you about never. By the way, saying I've never spoken to my son about any of his business dealings is a much shorter bridge of lying than you rattling off a long list of academic victories that never happened. Yes. Well, here's, let me try to summarize it, your question down to this basic.

And by the way, people go, well, as politicians, they're like, yeah, politicians lie, but they don't make up lies that they don't need to tell. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yes. They get called in front of Congress and they go, you were presented this document. They go, I don't need to tell. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yes. They get called in front of Congress and they go, you were presented this document. They go, I don't recall.

You know, all right, they're lying. But they're not making up the story and pushing it out there. That's a next level. And so to continue my- By the way, all things that's chronicled on record in computers, you know, we just pull up your academic charts from when you went to law school and see that you didn't do any of this stuff?

Yeah. That's bad. Well, to continue my argument, borderlines, because of predictive identification, typically make you feel bad. You feel you're taking on their negative emotions. Sociopaths get their way often by making you feel good. So they tell you what you want to hear.

They tell you whatever. They lie whatever because it's about them getting their way that's the priority with the sociopath. And so that's kind of interesting, isn't it? Yeah. If I – if Joe Biden – if I was to consider him to be a friend, and I don't mean consider him to be a friend, but considering him for friendship. Yeah. If I saw this clip, I'd go, well, I cannot be friends with this person because they're a huge lie. I mean, I would not know to believe them about anything ever.

That's how I would process that. Now, to others, it's sort of lying about anything at any time all the time. Well, if you're building the sociopath case, that's how they are. Right. If it needed to get their way. And they're so good at it, they often accomplish, you know, get to their goal yeah i mean him describing the truck driver who killed his wife is drunk as drunk driving when it was sort of his wife's fault and the guy wasn't drunk and never was drunk and to constantly repeat that story is like it's sociopathic. You know what I mean? I mean, the truck driver's daughter was like saying, stop saying this. My dad's in anguish.

He wasn't drunk. He just kept saying it. That's fucked up beyond belief. And it's also like there's accidents. People die. And you can get credit for that about you know the tragedy and overcoming you don't have to make the person drunk you know what i mean like why are you even doing that it's called a tragic accident yeah yeah by the way did you see anna navarro

on the view crying because this was such a great example of a father's love for his son. He will go to bed for his son. Crying. It's so weird how people get sucked into this stuff. Well, maybe we can find that clip. Of Anna Navarro? Well, you just brought it up. Yeah, Ben, look for it. It's out there.

It's only last week. I haven't seen it. Yeah. All the Hunter Biden laptop is is an example of a father's love for his son. out there it's only last week i haven't seen it yeah i mean this is all all the hunter biden laptop is is an example of a father's love for his son it's by the way it it's gonna keep going i mean we're not done it's gonna keep going what do you mean i mean it's gonna drag on the the laptop all the shady business dealings the the grift, it's all coming. It's going to come out. Yeah.

It's all coming out. It'll come out just like the COVID shit came out. It'll come out in a couple of years. I think it's on a faster track than that. So Anna Navarro is going to have to recalibrate a little bit. Recalibrate. All right. I'll be in San Antonio at Comic-Con. Oh, a car show. I'll be in San Antonio

at Comic-Con. Oh, a car show. That'll be Saturday. Doing stand-up there. You got amcrawl.com. I'm told the Ice House is sold out, but we never really figure this one out. I don't know if they're going to add a second show or whatever.

We always had difficulty, Drew, between this simple task, which is if the show is sold out, don't put it up on the plug thing. You know what Mike's answer is to that? Mike August? Yeah. I don't know. How could it hurt? Oh.

I'm like, just fucking don't do it and admit you made a mistake and stop it. How could it hurt? That's good Mike thinking. It is. It's not a path to remedy the problem. It's a path to just step around it. Just take a brief step around it. Yeah.

All right, everyone. Please get out of that mode. It does not lead to solving problems. All right, you can go to amcrow.com for all the live shows. What do you got? Go to Dr. Ed TV, the streaming show Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,

three o'clock. A lot of great guests coming up. I suggest you check it. This audience will love these interviews. Great stuff coming up. And Dr. Ed.com for the podcast. So, until next time, Adam Crow for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. Stream hit blockbusters that will have you laughing during popcorn summer movies on Pluto TV.

Go on a hilarious journey with Tropic Thunder. Or join Queen Latifah in the beauty shop. Plus, Pluto TV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies. Available on live and on demand. Download Pluto TV on all your favorite devices for free. Pluto TV.

Stream now. Pay never.