The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #1933 20% Less Penis-y

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Adam wraps up the week by indulging Dr. Drew's request for some Man Show bits, he explains the process behind putting a sketch together, the struggles of censorship, and the recent creation of a brand new commercial parody. Plus, they take a couple of voicemails challenging Adam's 'Chick Think', and the story behind the death of Adam's grandfather.  Leave us a voicemail: SpeakPipe.com/AdamandDrDrew OR Click the microphone at top of the homepage, AdamandDrDrew.com

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Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never. Hey fans of freedom and open discussion, I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad-free audio and video version of the Adam Perola show that's going to be waiting there. In the near future, you'll even be able to watch ACS Live unedited as we record it, participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew show. You also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat It Out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is going to be J. Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low,

low price of nine bucks a month of pittance for all we're going to bring you. Subscribe now at adamcarolla.com slash sub stack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called sub stack. Recorded live at Karola One Studios with Adam Karola and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on, got to get it on. The true, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Dr. Drew's Board Certified Physician, Dick, Dick, that's it.

All right, so Drew was, wanted to talk about his favorite Man Show bit, which I was not in. I did not write. You actually played, you showed it to me the one, one day at the Man Show studios. Oh, I did. You were like play you showed it to me the one one day at the man show Studios, I did you like look at this. I thought it was very funny. I kind of forgot about it but

Then I liked about it. Well what I I like detail and then I like all the Effort that goes into casting. But really, you know me, we had a whole art department. I used to walk over there all the time and look at this tons of stuff we would make. And I'd go, no, that's not right, or that's not working, or it's not gonna work, or this isn't funny, or whatever it is.

We had tons of movie posters we'd have to make and devices and inventions and to make stuff, a lot of stuff. There's like a lot of props. Because you were doing stuff both in the skits and on stage, in front of the audience. Right, so we'd talk about that a lot. All right, here's Masculaut,

and I only noticed watching it the other day, a small detail. Curious why you were watching it again, just curious. Because somebody said, I said, I don't know, they said something about the man show and I was go, you know, Drew's favorite bit, I just told you that goofball. No, no, no, I didn't know why you actually watched it. I actually watched it. Okay. Because somebody brought a thing and I said Drew's favorite. You're Drew. Yeah you know I just wondered if there was something else that motivated you. No there's no incentive other than somebody brought it up and then you said something as I described you. Billy! Not my favorite sweater.

Not my favorite sweater. I love my men. But when it comes to laundry, there's one thing I can do without. Protein stains. Those frustrating protein stains. Those embarrassing protein stains. You need new Mascula. Masculite? Protein delivered at high velocity can adhere to fibers, but Masculite crystals penetrate deep into fabric to remove even the toughest protein stains. Sounds great, but can I clean this protein stain sweater?

Alright, get ready to pause it. We stained two identical sweaters with protein. All right, pause it for a second. All right, so we just put two loads of what looks like semen onto a red sweater. The Masculine Out and then there's the leading brand, right? I've seen this a million times. I never thought about this, but I realized, looking at this, I bet I had an argument with the ladies.

I would have many, many, many, many arguments with the ladies at Comedy Central who ran the place. They weren't the censors. Not the censor people, okay. There's the ladies, no, I would say censors. They don't really, they're not, I don't know, they don't really have sensors. They have, Debbie Liebling ran the place

or was second in charge, and I would have to get on the phone with her. I just remember you and Jimmy arguing about underpants versus underwear or something like that. Lots of arguments, lots of arguments. And as I look at this, I'll tell you something. So you can play. So we probably won the protein stain argument, but then there's this. I'll tell you something, so you can play. So we probably won the protein stain argument,

but then there's this. I was with him in a hamper for three weeks, then treated one with Masculine, the other with the Leading Brat. I can pause it there. Sorry, go back two seconds. All right, as I was watching this, I thought, why wouldn't the Maskelyte look like semen leaving the

penis shaped bottle? The leading brand is in a regular detergent bottle yeah and it's white yeah Maskelyte is blue and clear. I guarantee you that they said, you're not gonna take a penis-shaped bottle and squirt a rope of white shit there. Now you can use the penis-shaped bottle, which we definitely would have arguments about, because they'd be like, could you make it 20% less penisy, you know?

But they said, you can show the goo shooting out of the penis shaped bottle but it cannot be white. It's gonna have to be blue. Because I would have said, let's have the Maskely out be white and have the leading brand be blue. Right, of course. Because that would have been more graphic. But they definitely argued and said, you can't do this.

And that's why Masculaut is blue and the leading brand is white, which shaves a couple of tenths off the comedy. Some of their ideas shave 40% off the comedy. Yeah, this only shaves a couple of tents Yeah, but in a world where you're trying to make everything perfect This hurt it a little Bit because I would have wanted the penis shaped bottle with all the white fluid shooting out. Yeah all over it. Yeah, okay Yeah, we can continue shooting out all over it. Okay, we can continue. and masculine masculine protein stain remover shoot it in every load

oh by the way this is why the man show was popular and then when Stan Hope and Rogan took it over, it wasn't because the producers, who pretended like they were producing our show, but weren't allowed on set, were now left to produce the man show. Yeah, and that's why you got what you got. Right. Is there any world where we could interview that actress? Hmm.

Gentlemen, I'm put you're on this. You should really talk to the, if you can, you need to talk to the woman who played my mom. I remember that one. Who I had sex with. She didn't even know what was going on. We cast her and didn't tell her what the theme was.

She thought she was playing my mom, not my lover. Or both. Oh, I remember that one. But I always felt conflicted for this woman. And it's the conflict that I didn't know if she was in on it, an enthusiast, mortified. I need to know. I need to know how she, and she leaned into it. She was not half into the acting. She did a great job. My man show, my mom in man show played my mom in Two Bits. She played in Rest Assured and I Did Mom.

Alright, man show deodorant which has some of the same themes as Masculine, but not quite as... Graphic. Well, not as interesting, but still kind of funny. You'll see, like you see the theme songs and the product, you know, things need to be made, you know. But the depth of detail on the copy in that last one, you know, with how commercials are written about detergents and things, it's just, it's right in there. Dead nuts on. All right, this man showed you, all right.

["Diode of the Year"] That's Jeremy McGrath riding the bike. Oh, fantastic. Hi, I'm Adam Carolla. No matter what I'm doing, I give it 110%. Hey, I demand the same for my deodorant. Whether I'm riding, shooting hoops,

or masturbating. I need maximum protection. Man Show deodorant protection. Man Show deodorant is specifically formulated for the chronic masturbator. While regular deodorants stop working at 100%, Man Show deodorant keeps going to one hundred and ten percent To offer you maximum protection because while the days were made for masturbating the nights

The nights were made for masturbation Man show deodorant for the chronic masturbator like you. Buy Man Show. Buy Man Show. Wow. Yeah, 110%. God, we should, somebody's got to bring the Man Show back just to see how people react to it.

You know what I mean? In this present day? It's not teotonic, it's specially formulated for chronic masturbators. I just like that it's specially formulated. The thing I love about some of the man show bits, they're hard to watch. They're like, no, no, no, don't do it, don't go there. And you do. And we do. Yeah, I was masturbating to a picture myself, by the way. Yeah. It's hard to watch. Yeah.

Maybe we should play the primate theater since we're... We'll take this call first. Let's report Jeff. No, I think Jeff was on hold too long. Jeff fell off. Can we play primate theater as long as we're going down Man Show? All right. Primate Playhouse. This is from the pilot. I think it plays well on audio as well as visual. It's with all chimpanzees. History of man. And discovers fire.

Lightning lights on a bush. Monkey goes over to the bush. Sure loves the farts. What the fuck? The man invents the telephone. Watson, are you there? I want you to hear something. Go ahead, sir. I can hear you. Sure loves farts. Who loves the farts, sir?

Who knows what wonders the future holds for man? My invention is complete! Well, what does it do? Behold! Who knows what the future has to hold. All right. That was the pilot. I mean, come on. It's great seeing you enjoy this. You didn't know they, this genius material is out there lurking. It was on TV one time. That's amazing. But men were men. All right. I won't bask in my own glory anymore. All right, let's take some voicemails maybe?

Yeah, we got a voicemail. Yeah, hey listen, let me tell you something. If something's funny, it holds up. Yeah. There's no, oh, that's, yeah, that was funny then, but it's not funny now. No, it's funny now, it'll be funny in a hundred years. But I think I have made more later in my life

of the difference between male humor and female humor. It's real. Also, you weren't that sophisticated comedically when I met you. Oh, you mean by having barely any sense of humor? Yeah, you didn't know what was funny and what wasn't funny. No, I truly didn't know anything about improv, for sure.

And I knew what I liked funny, but I didn't, I didn't have a cultivated palate, as they'd say. All right. It's funny, I came up with a really funny bit the other day, a commercial parody, crazily enough. And on this notebook you see before you, on a plane, I started writing it. And on this notebook you see before you, on a plane, I started writing it. I haven't written a sketch in a long time.

Weird that we're talking about this stuff. Yeah, yeah, and it's a commercial parody, and it's a bit, and it could've easily gone on the Man Show, and I was like, I got nowhere to put this bit, but it's such a funny idea that I liked so much that I just started writing it. And it sort of reminds me of sort of what I would do

with Rest Assured or something like that. Like, I have this idea, this would be funny. And then I'd start writing it down, and then I'd wake up and add something to it, you know? And then you'd end up and add something to it, you know, and then you'd end up with the finished product. But I wrote a commercial parody sketch that would have been perfect for the man show, except for there is no man show, and I don't know what to do with it.

So I'm trying to figure out like if I want to just write it and shoot it but what people you know people tell people all the time they go well we'll have Rudy when he comes in he'll just shoot up like it's not about he'll just shoot it we need a house we need a dog we need kids we need a mom we need a washroom we need a this room we need a that room we need a set we need a product product, you know, it's like, it goes, it goes. People look at it and go, yeah, just do like that. It's like multiple locations, multiple people, lots of stuff to do. It's not, it definitely, it's not free. No, that's for damn, well, it's not free if you want to do that.

Like if you want Masculout to look like a broadcast commercial that maybe you've seen in your youth or you might even see when you turn on the TV this afternoon, if you want it to look like that, then we need money. If you want to just kind of fuck around, then no. But it's not going to look like that. There is no bottle that's shaped Like that. Yeah. Yeah, you know we need to there is no bottle that's shaped like a cock and balls We need to make a mold. Yeah I'd be like a mold and a label and everything, you know, even the very end of Mancho deodorant, you know, we had to get a chorus Right choir to go by

Mancho. Yes instead of by Menon. Yes. So we needed that. You don't think about this stuff. They just don't, they don't consider it. They don't think about it, they don't even notice it when it's there. They notice it when it's not there. Right.

And also people always do this stuff and they go, yeah, that's how I would have done it. And you go, no, you wouldn't have thought of any of this stuff. Yeah, you have to know how to do that. I mean, when the dog is licking the other sweater, I mean, who the fuck thought of that? It's not like you think it'd just be like, and this one, no good. You know, you show it, show it, spot it,

but the dog is going at it. That's the beauty of it. And by the way, you gotta cast a dog. Oh, and a dog handler. That's right. How many guys were in on that writing, do you know? Just curious, is that two guys do it, five guys do it? It's probably one guy's idea,

and then we would pass it around to try to punch it up, and other people get involved. I would. It's not a table. No, when I came up with Rest Assured, I remember just going and sitting with another writer and going, okay, now we have to figure this one out. And the biggest problem I had with that bit was the title. I never liked the title. I couldn't come up with anything better. That was frustrating.

It was frustrating to me because I wanted a better title than Rest Assured. Isn't it funny they could never remember the title? It wasn't, I couldn't come up with anything. All right. Hey, I'm Adam Kroll, that's Brad Williams and Jay Leno. Hey, everybody. Over there, we're doing our third annual comedy, Fantasy Camp, that's gonna be January 23rd through the 26th, Hey, everybody. Over there, we're doing our third annual Comedy Fantasy

Camp. That's going to be January 23rd through the 26th, right in Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are going to be there. I remember two out of every three comments. Make it big. Well, one and a half.

Do I get paid for this? Please tell me I get paid for this. Go to comedyfantasycamp.com and get in on the fun. Do we have something? Oh, we had a voicemail. That's right. Yeah. Hi, Adam and Drew. This is Matthias from Austria. I have a question about why Adam says chick think and men becoming more women like in politics is a bad thing, but also criticizes the Middle East where there is essentially no chick think, at least from my thoughts, because there's almost no chicks in the governments there.

Right. Anyway, yes, thank you, bye bye. Well done, Matias, good thought. Good challenge. Yeah. Yeah, so. And yeah, go ahead. Well, the extreme of male think is kind of bonk them

over the head and drag them into the cave kind of kind of thing Or punch settle everything with your fists, you know, yeah, and then we began Some sort of journey to get away from that and into some diplomacy and some other facets of that My argument is we needed to stop And we kept going and so a child Needs a father but not a father to beat them But a father to be stern and and be the voice of authority

Which is fine. So where we goes well, we don't want the kid, you know being physically Beaten by the dad as maybe would have been more popular several years ago. But we sailed past the authority. And we're now into, I'm wearing 11 bracelets, I'm gonna call you buddy, and we're best friends now, and you can do no wrong, which is not effective in hurting the child Yeah, so Middle East is still living in some time somewhere between 502 million years ago Where you know somebody gets caught stealing that cut their hand off and someone gets caught cheating and they're you know stoned to death you know or or what have you so that's an extreme version of that

they need to be brought back you know we could get the Middle East to Europe you know circa 1955 then it'd be a fucking utopia. De Gaulle's Europe. De Gaulle's Europe yes but we can't. Riddle let, Riddle, let's think about this. So the extremes, again, are the enemy, right? And on one, it's aggression and violence, that's the male side, and the other, it's feelings of all sorts and aggression, those things are sort of passively expressed, rather than directly expressed. But all of it, when you go to the extreme, takes you away from rationality.

So isn't it the real case should be, hey, man, you've got to get where we can all not be so steeped in feelings that we forget our rational discourse and not be so aggressive and out of control that we can't be reasoned with. So it's to me it's it's the disconnect from reason and reasonableness and reality. And also they have a kooky religion which sort of adds a question mark to everything because they're not atheists that are just trying to work off of logic or reason.

Yeah, that's the enemy, not logic. Not logic is a problem. So yeah. All right. We have one more? We do. Hey, guys. Big fan of the show.

Adam, I've probably heard every single show you've ever did, and I don't think I've heard you talk about your grandfather's passing and what that was like for you. How did it happen? When did it happen? How old were you? Was it before or after your grandmother passed? What was that part of your life like? Love the show, guys.

Thanks. Weird he would say that because we were on the radio hours afterwards and you came on and you cried. I was very upset. Yeah. And I will not forget that show and you've talked about it a lot. So... I feel like it's been discussed. I don't... I remember getting the call in the middle of the night kind of thing. So it wasn't just before. Okay, it felt like it was the day of or whatever it is. I remember. I don't know, got the call three in the morning and knew what was what was up and sort of went over to my grandma's house. Oh, you told that story too. Yeah. She behaved opening the medicine cabinet. Well no that wasn't that nice.

I know, but I mean you've talked about this. Yeah it is not something I have not talked about. Maybe he is not from the radio days. He needs to go back and see some classic love lives. Maybe that's it. Good man, miss him, a lot of old country wisdom to him. Made me food, big deal, my world. I mean my-

It's like feeding a cat or a dog. I was like, oh, nevermind. My dad probably has days left at this point. He's really down, he's got days. I don't know if he's eating anymore. So you've seen now advanced age and how it works. Do you have any feelings about these assholes that are trying to live forever? These guys and the you know, these tech guys that are living under a bubble and I don't I you know, my feeling is, is knock yourself out. I don't, you know, my feeling is knock yourself out. I don't, you know, whatever. I would not choose to do that. But you can, I'm not, you're not hurting me and you're not affecting me. You're

not legislating any policy. So do whatever you want. I guess what bothers me is they delude themselves into believing that what is happening to your dad could not happen to them and it will. Yeah. Maybe a couple years later for them, maybe, but maybe not. And you're too young. Yeah, maybe not. In the meantime, you've not lived. Well, I mean. Not leading a good life is a problem in this country.

You have to learn to live good lives again. I don't know if they would think that that's not living a good life. Well, that's interesting, but I would also agree there. I would say leading a good life is an objective thing, not a good life. Well that's interesting but I would also agree there I would say I would say leading a good life is an objective thing not a subjective thing and you're right subjectively he may not feel like he's he may feel like this was optimal but objectively we can talk about good lives versus not so good lives you know. Well I'm going later on today to the Lakers game and I'm very much looking forward

to a hot dog and a cocktail. And if you said I can just go there and drink some stream water and eat some beet sprouts or something, I would still go, but I would not look forward to it. On the other hand, I wouldn't do it every night, but I am looking forward to the hot dog and the beer, you know, so I guess if you're under this regimen, you could not look forward to that. You'd have to bring your own kibble in to snack on.

And then that might mean that I expire before these people. But I got my hot dog and my beer at the Lakers game, which I very much enjoyed. So there is a balance. And I'm not really saying you have to do one way or the other. But I would argue that's in terms of enjoying life but in terms of leading a good life it's about sort of being of service and doing things for other people and from you know I mean it's doing things just for yourself and only yourself. Well I don't I don't know that that's a declaration they've made. It does sound pretty involved, self-involved, that is. I'm not as leery of it as you are. I don't really care.

I focus on anyone who's hurting anybody or causing damage to people, you know, or financial burdens on the system. You're paying your taxes and you wanna eat bean curd three meals a day, That'll be that'll be you I tend to Want to do my business during the week and then the game comes on on Saturday or Sunday And we crack some beers and watch watch some football, you know, yeah

Yeah, but you know, it's it like a little dance and a balance, you know, I think. And I interrupted you about your grandfather, I apologize. We were saying about how he was a good man, full of conventional, not conventional, but old world. But by the way, Hungarian wisdom is like, is profound. You know what I mean? Real raconteur. Yeah.

Loving and good. And cooked. Screenwriter. Cooked, tour. Yeah. Loving and good and cooked. Screenwriter. Cooked, yeah. Good. I was, you know, I was very moved when he died. He was the one that did all the work in the parenting. The parenting, yeah.

Yeah, he did all the parenting. Yeah. Did your sister get any parenting from him? My sister? You should have asked that, yeah. Yeah, she got the same treatment. Did she spend the night there and stuff like you did? Yeah, we both stayed there quite frequently, you know?

And so we had these relationships, you know? I spent a lot of time with my grandparents, because, well, there's a few things. They had a, my grandfather cooked. That's first and foremost. I was fucking hungry all the time and he made food. So you would tend to just like a stray dog you just spend more time around where the food was. He would make me a sandwich. My mom's never made a sandwich. My dad probably tried to do a sandwich. I don't think you could pull it off, you know they had they had a

swimming pool mmm a hand dug like unheated Like bootleg pool like like someone made their own pool in the backyard. Was it gun-ighted? It's not answering your question. You could stand in the deep end and your head would be above the water. Oh yeah, sure. It was a body of water.

It had a filter, it had no heater, and a filler, and it was like, you know, a little miniature pool. They had a pool, there was, there wasn't food in terms of you couldn't open the fridge and get deli meat and cheese and stuff, but he cooked dinner and he would make you a sandwich for lunch. He also had a shed, a workshop shed that had tools in it,

so I would constantly be monkeying with his tools because there was no, he owned a jigsaw. Nobody in my family, my dad owned nothing. So food, a swimming pool, a house that was sort of one bedroom, one bath, 1400 square feet or something, but like reasonably in order, not messy and sort of chaotic and fucked up, like sort of semi-normal.

Oh, a color TV set. Whoa. A color TV set that was like 22 inches or something big for us know, for us. That's huge back then, yeah. And then a grandpa that like told stories and, you know, went to the hardware store and, you know, went to the supermarket and that kind of stuff. Yeah, between all that and the chaos of my family and how, you know, my family, you know, my mom was like, oh, look, I don't have to cook, I don't have to make lunch, I don't have to do it.

You know, good. You know, like every day spent at my grandparents' house was one day my mom was left alone, right? And one day my dad was left alone, and my mom and my dad's ultimate goal was to be left alone. That was their number one thing they wanted was to be left alone. And they weren't even bad people. They weren't to be left alone so they could slam heroin. They were to be left alone so they could just do exactly what they wanted all the time, which was nothing. Didn't do anything. But, you know, my dad wasn't like, I'm in the garage working on my DeSoto. Leave me alone. No, he literally just want, his number one goal was to be left alone. But he moved in with your grandparents when you were like eight or nine, right? He didn't move in with them. He left my mom and didn't have a savings account or credit card or money because he was only like 43 at the

time. So he was just kind of getting started, you know So when he left the free house he was living in which is my grandmother's second garbage house In North Hollywood, he just left and then he realized I don't have I don't know if he had a checking account Like I don't know He couldn't live in a one-bedroom apartment on North Holland He couldn't live in a one bedroom apartment on North Holland. He couldn't secure a one bedroom apartment in North Holland back when one bedroom apartments were like $113 a month. Did he go to check cashing places?

He went to his in-laws house and slept in my grandparents' office, my grandfather's office and or this weird closet, a closet that was kind of a side room, but it was a closet, but there's a little mattress in there and I think he just lived there. Were you there then, is my question? No, I would have just stayed at my mom's house.

So by age eight or so, you stopped going to your grandfather's to stay? No, I would stay there. Even when your dad was there? That's what I'm asking. No, no, I didn't stop. My dad didn't live there full-time for the rest of his life. No, I thought he spent like a year or something going there. Now. Okay, so it was just a quick... He hung out for a month and a half or something and then my grandparents were sort of like, hey Jim, hello, you're in your 40s. You need to move on, get an apartment or something. I don't think he knew how to get an apartment

or what to do. Also, he would have been fine just living there for free with the two old people. He just divorced, he just left their daughter. But anyway, so they, so they'll move on and he just found a one bedroom on Laurel Canyon in North Hollywood and just lived in this one bedroom there. Is that that house with the loft or is it one bedroom apartment? No, it's one bedroom apartment.

Apartment, okay. Yeah, he wouldn't be able to buy a house. Not coming off of... Yeah, not coming off of yeah Yeah, then I would go there and you know sleep eat goulash, you know hang out use the tools You know, it's not too shabby Yeah, it's a life. Really. I think I would say that pop Warner football probably probably helped Yeah. Yep. All right. What was the boy, the African American boys you hung out with, the Baker boys, whatever?

The Boyd Brothers. Boyd Brothers, the Boyd. Henry and James. All right, tonight and tomorrow night, Kovina doing four shows at the Laugh Factory. Go to AdamKerrle.com for all that. What do you got, Drew? Drrew.com and then subscribe on Rumble.

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