The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #1951 Breaking Bad with Joe Praino

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Today, Joe Praino wraps the week up with Ace in the studio and Dr. Drew remotely, as they pick up where they left off in the previous episode on Joe's older brother and his extensive history fraud, being sent to Rikers Island, and the great ticket heist that helped change the verification methods used to purchase your entries today. Plus, they revisit a voicemail left by Joe's then girlfriend on her dad's opposition to their engagement, and Adam explains the golden rule that keeps the fabric of society together. Leave us a voicemail: SpeakPipe.com/AdamandDrDrew OR Click the microphone at the top of the homepage, AdamandDrDrew.com Please Support Our Sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com/AdamandDrew For more with Joe Praino: PODCAST: Dirty Sports Podcast w/ Joe Praino and Andy Ruther TWITTER/X: @fixyourlife INSTAGRAM: @joepraino WEBSITE: joepraino.com

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Yeah, get it on. Got to get on the show. Get it on. Get it on. Dr. Drew's board certified position. He's over there in New York City. Joe Prano back in studio live shows in Los Angeles December 27th at Bar Lubbich. I hope I said that right. Yeah, and last best comedy in Montana in January for you folks who are out there. Joe's a very funny standup, and you can find his dates out at joprano.com podcasts. The Dirty Sports podcast available on Substack as well. All right, so we were teasing your brother

who turned out very differently than you. Yeah. And I never, I don't know where you're at, Drew, but people always, women especially, but people in general, you know, with the parents, and you have to, he has to be supported. They don't know, and I'm like, listen, everyone I know is totally,

my sister's totally different than I am. It has nothing to do with me. We're 1000% different in many, most all facets of life. You know, Jimmy does one thing, his brother does something else, his sister does something else. Now they're, they're, you know, tangentially whatever, but they're not the same at all. Drew, your sister's not, you, you know,

this thing of like the parent, you know, what women do is they always go, no, he's this way because he was raised in a different, and it's like, no, no, they raised three other kids and none of this happened to those three other kids. So what are we talking about? What was in the water for the one kid? What was in the pasta for that one kid? What was in the pasta? Yeah. For that one kid. You know what

I mean? It's bullshit. It's all, I'm now realizing it's all nature. Well, no. I mean, look, you can fuck someone up. I'll put it to you that way. When they go off the rail, when there's a marked deviation from the mean, it's either biological or trauma, like head injury, or trauma like sexual abuse or something. So you're ne'er do well, brother. Yes. I'm interested. Yeah, it's a deep file and I would love, there's so many questions I have about how this, how

we got here. But I asked my parents about it a long time ago because before I had memories, my brother was sort of a bad seed. Just, I remember being on swim team when I was like eight and they gave out gag gifts to the parents. You know, if your kid was still sucking his thumb at five, they gave you a pacifier or whatever. They gave my mom a book, how to deal with a, it was like a, uh,

a violent child or something like that. And she, she broke down in tears, but like my brother was, uh, was always trouble. Just, and I asked my parents about it and they said, he just was always that way. We remember he was three and he had a rock and we said, don't do anything with that rock. And he looked us dead in the eyes, consciously understood what we said and threw it through a window. Right. Like he just, he broke bad and it's manifested itself. You said something about animals, well tell me about that. Yeah, just you're like you know when you grow up and you start hearing oh you know you can tell a serial killer they killed animal like he was you know going down to the pond at the end of the road and killing frogs and

killing, you know, shooting raccoons with the crossbow and, you know, with a crossbow and killed a snapping turtle that made its way into our pool with a ice pick in front of the, you know, and I was like, what is going on? You know, did he, did he laugh when other people reacted in horror? Yes, and he has a fame. Like, my entire friend group and family, we all make fun of his sort of joker-like cackling laugh. He always has been, and he tells the worst racist jokes

in public, and he loves the terrible reaction he gets and I've never seen anybody worse with money So he really is a, he's a, not just a sociopath, he's a psychopath. Yeah. And that is a genetic thing and it usually is in families though kind of distantly like a cousin here and there and an uncle over there. It's not usually a direct line through the first degree relatives. So are there other similar characters scattered around? My mom's side of the family, big Irish New York, you know her side of the family is

Westies and and you know Hell's Kitchen sort of ne'ardew Wells is also. So I'm pretty sure, my dad would regularly say. You told me what a Westie was on our car journey, but I don't think the audience knows. A Westie was the Irish mob in New York, famous through the 60s and 70s and stomped out by Rudy Giuliani in the 80s. But the thing about the Irish mob in New York was the Italians always looked down on them as not having a code, just drunken, murderous, crazy people. So there was some of that in the DNA. Yeah.

Now, I don't know. I've heard a lot of stories, but very big Irish side of the family, tons of cousins and uncles and whatever. I've heard tons of stories, but it's all sort of late night Irish drunkenness. Oh, the time that this happened. And you go, I'd love to hear more about that sometime. But the Irish virus, so to speak, the alcoholism is powerful in their genetic heritage. But that usually doesn't create what your brother has.

There's got to be some people in prison. Oh, yeah. To reflect. Okay. It's just, I don't know all the specifics of it, but they were there and you hear the rumblings, but they wouldn't give you the details. So, I didn't know about your brother and the ice pick and the snapping hurdle, which for me is impactful because the sort of grifter part I knew about, but I didn't really know

about the violent part. But later- What's the grifter part? What's the grifter part? What's the grifter part? So always, you know, the thing that every teacher and person that ever sort of diagnosed him would say is too smart for his own good. Always had sort of Lex Luthor evil genius scams

and things going on, but he defrauded people essentially. He was working, at one point he was hacking into Ticketmaster's website for a ticket broker company and getting all the tickets to everything early, in the early ages of the internet because he was computer savvy. When they sort of figured out how to stop him from doing that, he washed out and started doing it on his own. He was middling tickets, buying tickets and selling them to other people for a higher price. A couple of times- Has he managed to stay out of prison?

He did not. So he, at one point, like I said, I've never seen anybody worse with money. At one point was taking money from people and then not delivering, but spending the money before he didn't deliver. No refunds. And he got caught on one of those shame, shame, shame on you, local news things. And then ended up doing 50 days on Rikers for the frauding people. I marvel at it and can easily become the victim of it because that stuff feels so foreign for me. Right. And now so I guess lying feels foreign to me and what your brother's doing is just a sort of

more advanced form of lying, but it's ostensibly lying. I'm lying to you. I'm not sure he's ever told the truth fully about anything. And it's, not only is it confusing, but it's easy to fall victim to it if you don't think that way at all, which I never had that thought. So it would be, it's always very easy to fool me

because I will believe every single thing somebody says to me. As I got older, I kind of learned to lie a little bit because it's just, it kind of comes with the territory. If there's some gig and you gotta cancel or something, you don't go, I don't feel like driving that far. You know, you go, Adam's got the flu or something. You know, some version of that.

But I really couldn't lie my whole life. And when I am the recipient of the liar I am confused I'm not really even angered I'm just like why would you say that how can you say it's more how can you say this thing and they can very easily is the answer. His first real grift was he was doing the he, he was lying about his, you know, history and his net worth and pretending to be a rich playboy and, and marrying women. He married multiple women. Oh my God.

Fraudulently. And would, he would pick out very rich women. He moved into a West, you know, Central Park West apartment. And it was like with, with a woman that he courthouse married and said, Hey, you know, Central Park West apartment and it was like with with a woman that he courthouse married and Said hey, I know your mortgage or your rent is $10,000 a month or whatever. I'll take care of that from here on out and You just make sure you you take us to dinners you take us to Palm Beach on vacation But don't ever worry about your five-figure

You know rent anymore. I've got that. And six months later, the landlord would come around and go, you haven't paid rent in six months, what's going on? And he'd have his bags and he'd walk out. Oh my God. Oh my God. And also-

He would have lies that would have expiration dates, but it seems like he never worried about it. You would say- You just went on to the next lie Yeah, but he'll lie because when you're a psychopath people don't really exist. Yeah, it's just all a big kind of game to them Yeah, I agree and then the non psychopaths Could be your brother's fiance or could be your brother's fiance or wife. It could be somebody, anyone that gets divorced, is you just sit around and you go, how can this person do this? How can they say that? How can they, how can they, it's more of a how, it's not a fuck them. It's like, we live together.

How can you say this? Like how? You know what I mean? For me, it's always how. And I'm rarely angered, even though it should anger you. You should be outraged. But it's more of a how. Like we slept in the same bed. Why are you, how can you do this to somebody? And the answer is, I don't think there is an answer.

It's because I'm the only person who exists. Well, you're also pointing at that in certain circumstances, people can really disappoint. They can behave as though that they were a psychopath. What do you mean? Well, I mean, given the encouragement of the California legal system, Oh, you're talking about divorce Yeah, but it's also it's also

I don't know if if some attorney said to me just pretend your back hurts So you can get a payday when that guy rear-ended you I just go my back doesn't hurt Yeah, yeah, and that would be it and I wouldn't look at myself as courageous or noble. I would just go my back's fine So here we go. You can say that. You know what I mean? Like as much as we try to pass it off on the system, there's still an individual who needs to go along with the lie and the system. And that's where dignity rears its ugly head. Right. Well, my question for Dr. Drew is, you know, my brother now is, he's almost 50. He sort of shifted into almost corporate, you know, scamming.

He exists within the actual, you know, business world now and he conned his way into multiple high-powered jobs. At one point, I think he was making, he was making $400,000 a year, but would still come to you on a Friday afternoon and say, you got 50 bucks until. 50 bucks. I just wanna go get a couple beers and my paycheck doesn't come through till Monday.

Is it like, is there any hope whatsoever? I mean, he's almost fit, like this is just him forever, right, there's no hope that'll ever sort of even play between the lines. Even when they learn emotions, they just learn what they are and then still continue to use that information manipulatively. So it's not as though they suddenly develop empathy or a capacity to appreciate other people. Though a lot of this stuff does tone down a little bit with age, it just is still fundamentally the same. But I mean think about that movie Catch Me If You Can.

Your evil powers can be used for good, you know what I mean? And so if he could be somehow, you know, if somebody could find something to do with him that was, I don't know how helpful. That was always. Probably working with other criminals. Yeah, that was always the, that was always an angle that somebody took, you know, like I remember Ticketmaster specifically saying, hey, why don't you teach us how you do this so that other people don't. And he all, and he would, nah, I'd rather he it's, it's like he preferred to live on the, on the bad side of the law. It was like exciting for him or something.

Yeah. Right. The excitement says that he gambled too. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why not in the same way, I think maybe because, you know, financially it was always up, they gambled in other senses. But, you know.

I mean, he needs that arousal. They feel kind of dead without a certain amount of arousal. And if he could find something exciting to do on the good side, he would do it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I've not known people to change. I've known them to coast to a stop. Yeah, that's right. Coast to coast down. Stop is the grave. Yeah.

And they're sort of at their top speed in their late 20s and mid 30s, and then after they hit 40, they start to coast, but they're still moving at a fast pace. But by the time they hit 60 they just the momentum like you said it's gonna be a You know a disability claim that he rides to the right. Yeah. Yeah, and and also You know whether it's before mentioned divorce or your brother we live in a system that sort of supports the scam. It's kind of loosely based on, we'd like everyone to do the right thing,

but if you don't do the right thing, we won't really have too many guard rails or much judgment or a system in place. It's sort of open border, like look, stay in Honduras if you can, but if you really are undergoing political persecution, then you could come over here. But if you do come over here, we need you to sign up for this and then we'll give you a court date. And it's like, that's all good, except where I'm just going to Manhattan and getting a free

hotel room and free food And I'm never showing up at my court date and I left Honduras because I felt like it like that like the average person These like his yeah, no, no, these aren't necessarily evil or bad people these are just people who are like I don't like Honduras But if you're gonna let me just show up and I don't get deported and I don't have a I don't like Honduras, but if you're gonna let me just show up and I don't get deported and I don't have a, I don't have, yes, there's a court date. Look, I'm not a bad person.

If I got pulled over for no front license plate and they said, here's your court date, and then he went, but you don't really have to show up. Well, guess who would never show up? I'm not a bad person. I just wouldn't show up. Right? So we don't, yes, at some point your brother will pull some sort of social security scam or something that'll see him through his twilight years. And then we'll get to the end. And then you'll

look at your brother and you'll look at you and you'll look at Drew and you'll go, well, who really was the sucker? Right. The people who paid all the taxes and followed all the rules or your brother who's going to die in 20 minutes and never did any of it seems to have landed in the same place. Yeah. But remember that tens of millions of people have this condition that your brother has. Oh yeah. That's the thing that everyone has to keep in mind and they, they target and manipulate and they're very good at what they do

You need to teach learn about that. Well, I'll tell you what could help your brother better help Yeah Sponsored by better help. I hope he's listening got a promo code for Look holidays are great and I'll give him a promo code. Um, look holidays are great and uh, a lot of joy a lot of celebration Well, they bring back memories too and uh, not all of them are great and it's a time for reflection Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort during that time of year and uh, Seasons are changing. It's time to change a little

Um, i've always loved therapy. I always thought it was important Drew's Drew's with me on that as well And if you're thinking about starting therapy get better help a try. It's entirely online convenient flexible and Again, don't have to go sit in the waiting room with the prying eyes Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime you want. No additional charge. It's Better Help, right, Emmy? That's right. Find comfort this December with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com slash

adamandjew today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.h-e-l-p dot com slash adamandjew. Hey, I'm Adam Kroll. That's Brad Williams and Jay Leno. Hey, everybody. Over there we're doing our third annual Comedy Fantasy Camp. That's going to be January 23rd through the 26th right in Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are going to be there.

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Like the most extreme version is sort of oh an old lady is walking down the street and you just knock her down, pull her purse away from her hand and run away. Okay, that's like, why don't you know who you are or who this person is or who deserves this money? But, and then, you know, that's the more extreme versions. And then there's just sort of lighter versions. There's, you know, that guy was waiting in line to get that parking space, but you just slid into it. You knew that guy was waiting, but you didn't really care.

I marvel at the why don't you know? Like when you're lying, yes, you are lying, and the person you're lying to is probably unaware that you're lying, but you know you're lying. Does probably unaware that you're lying, but you know you're lying. Does that not bother you in any way? And then why don't you know who you are? It's a kind of, it's a Dr. Jill Biden sort of thing.

It's like she needs to be called doctor. She knows she's not a doctor. Does that not bother her? Like if I was whatever, I'd be like, technically you could use the word doctor if you don't want to use the word doctor. I don't care. I don't feel. I'm not a physician. I want to make it clear. Like I wouldn't but instead we're insisting that she be called doctor and I would be uncomfortable if I were her is what I'm saying. So why isn't there more discomfort is what this is two two things Guys like Joe's brother do not appreciate what's happening. They really don't they

Line to it all has the same valence to them. It's just what what do I get? That's all that matters so there's those guys and then there are people that have all kinds of traumatic systems in place where they compartmentalize and minimize and rationalize and deny. And there's a lot of that with all the narcissism running around. Yeah. It's, it's kind of scary because it's given people all we have at the end of the day is a kind of a golden rule. people, all we have at the end of the day is a kind of a golden rule. And that's the glue that keeps the fabric

of society together. And there's stuff you get arrested for and then stuff that's legal and then a huge gray area in the middle. You know, huge gray area of stuff you can do, but you probably shouldn't do. And it's like I said, every time I've talked to a woman who goes, oh, no, I'll just buy the dress, I'll wear it to the thing, and then I'll return it the next day.

And I'll go, but don't, but no. And they go, why not? And they go, I go, it's not right. And they go, what do they care? Everyone does it, you know, and I just go, but so who? Okay, everyone does it. Okay. There's ethnic cleansing and Mogadishu. Oh, okay. They all do it. Everyone does it over there. I don't know what's wrong. You know what I mean? Well, do you want to spend the money and then for a dress that you wear once? I'm like, well,

that's a decision you're going to have to make. And they really, they look at you as a sucker for not doing this. Yeah, right. Right? And I'm saying that's all we have is you policing yourself not to do it. That's all we have because the day everyone thinks this way is the day society fucking falls apart Right that the day We had all these smashing grabs is the day dr Drew's got to go to the Rite Aid and wait for the guy to come open the cage so we can get his advil you understand that's what we the day someone threw a

You understand? That's what we, the day someone threw a glass beer bottle out onto the field at Dodger Stadium and hit an umpire's, the day we have to drink all our beer out of a Styrofoam cup. That's what I'm trying to tell everybody, but they're like, oh, you'd be an idiot not to. Well, I'm telling you now, my brother is the reason you can't just sign on to Ticketmaster and buy tickets. You need a confirmation code that this is coming from your phone and you can't just sign on to Ticketmaster and buy tickets. You need a confirmation code that this is coming from your phone and you need to point out which of the sidewalks are there so that it's not done by a robot.

That's your brother. I know, I tell people all the, I mean, my first house I bought in 96, the paperwork on it was Seven pages long the last home. I sold a year ago It was 86 pages that wanted to be signed also asking if I'd ever vaped inside the house Wow Wow

Yes, Drew they wanted to know if this adult had ever vaped in his own eight million dollar home. Did they want to know if there was ever like an ashtray left around so the third hand smoke wouldn't be permeating? I don't know. But one of the questions was, have I ever vaped inside the house? It's where I'm in the Alice in Wonderland now. Yeah. But I'm saying this

is where we are because somebody sued somebody because vaping was not disclosed. Right. Okay. Joe's also got a voicemail from his fiance. You guys have already listened to and responded to this voicemail. But one of the topics that was brought up was my upcoming nuptials. And when I first started in the Corolla world, she goes, I'd like to call in to Adam and Dr. Drew. And I said, you go ahead and you do that. And you guys answered it. But we could revisit and see,

I could clear some things up. Well, here are the voicemails, only 40 seconds. Obviously we didn't know who we were speaking to. I believe. Yeah, you did not. I have a boyfriend and my dad hates him, even though he treats me really well, just due to like solely financial reasons.

He doesn't feel like he's financially stable enough in his life to, I guess, support me or support us or seem like a safe bet, I guess. And my dad is also gravely ill, so it's not like I can cut my dad out of my life and I love my dad, but I don't know how to balance both of those things in my life without feeling super destabilized emotionally. Do you guys have any suggestions or help to offer? Now, I don't know what our answer was,

but considering- Well, you said- I have it here. Yeah, yeah. You guys want to listen to it? Yeah. Well, wait, let's see what we come up first with what we'd say now.

Let's see if it matches. Yeah. Right? Well, I'm confused that the parents that don't like the choice that the daughter or son makes if it's strictly sort of financial. I get the part where there's indiscretions. The person cheated on you, honey, and you shouldn't take him back because I think he's going to cheat again, you know, those kinds of things. And maybe I'm a little hands off, but I don't believe it's in my purview as a parent to tell my kid who to be attracted to or who to spend time with. I don't look at that as...

Especially for an adult, you know, like a 30, 40 year old, right? Yeah. Right. I wouldn't look at that as even territory that I could get involved in. Yeah, I suppose if the guy kept coming to me like your narrative well brother and asking for a loan, I could then chime in and go, honey, maybe this guy needs to get a better day job or something because he keeps hitting me up for money, but you've never hit. No, no.

In fact, I think that is where the relationship really fell. I think maybe there was some part of him that wanted somebody to need him. And I said, you know, we had a sit down and I said listen what why don't I just keep doing what I'm doing which is taking care of your daughter emotionally and financially and you keep doing what you're doing and fuck off you know and I think he did not like I think he wanted me hat in hand but that's you know we've done a lot of trying to explore what has caused all this. But I used to spend the holidays with them before they had cut me off.

And every story is about the family member or friend he doesn't talk to about financial reasons. So I was like, this is this is just for financial reasons. I don't talk to my sister in line because, you know, I cut her off because she didn't help my mom or whatever. Like it was all and I sister in line because you know, I cut her off because she didn't help with my mom or whatever. Like it was all, and I'm like this, you know, So he has a weird financial foible. Yeah. Which is strange. But I'll tell you what, even, you know, I get there's a theme to it, but when there's a cutting off of long-term relationships,

that's narcissism. Yeah. You know, when people just sort of just slice people out that that's narcissism. Yeah. You know, when people just sort of just slice people out, that's a narcissist. So that is, since this phone call in April, he has put, you know, we got engaged, he found out even though we didn't tell him, and he now said, I am out of your life because of how much I don't support this. And she is, she is sort of returned the favor and said, well, I don't support this. And she is sort of returned the favor and said, well, I don't want you. And I'm like, now there's a mutual no contact.

And it's causing- What's this grave illness that he has? Well, now he is not gravely ill as he has received his second new heart. He is- Oh, sheesh. So he has now had two heart transplants. But she was by his side despite, you know,

not really thinking he was a great dad through the years. She was there for him and took care of him through both heart transplants and was at the hospital here in LA every weekend for a while and then almost like a couple of months after he was better he's like well I don't need you anymore so can we just sort of leave it at this and it's not satisfying to people but there are people who have been in my life and are out of my life, but there's?

Roommates there's business partners. There's ex-wives. There's there's people who are no longer Have zero contact with I? Look at it is their choice Sometimes it's their choice and then sometimes it's just through their actions They've made it that you know what I mean? And I think the first thing you have to do is put the blindfold on and be the scale of justice You know what I mean? Like how much of you what did you really do to that roommate that never talks you versus what did he do?

What did you do for him really sit down and honestly like assess what this is. And if the answer at the end of the day is it's on them, they made this decision. Your father-in-law, sadly and kind of insanely, especially when you get to, you know, seventy seven years old or whatever he is. And you're on your second heart, where you just decide this. You know, if my son announced he was gay and I was like, well, then you don't have a father, that's on me. You know what I mean? Now, look, if you'd suck a little less cock, maybe we could talk.

But what I'm saying is like, that's on me. That's not really on him. And he doesn't need to break through to me. And it wasn't a, well, it's nuanced or it's a 60, 40 kind of, no, that's me. I made the announcement, I removed myself from his life. And then he's gonna have to, him and his boyfriend are just gonna have to go on for the rest of their days, possibly sad that they're not speaking to me, but not grieving it and not feeling responsible for it and To be fair when somebody is this narcissistic sometimes it's a relief

Yes, well that and that's sort of I feel that way too. Yeah, good good We're sort of getting there a little bit. She's an only child and she's getting married Oh, so so, you know know now her mom's in the middle of this so now she feels in a way she's losing the entirety of her family over this. It's sad and so are plane crashes where your dad dies like that's all sad but it's really if it's not you it's not you now I would I would The caveat is whether it's the dad or the roommate or the whomever, you have to really do an assessment of an inventory of really where you... What you're capable for and of and what role you play. But if the answer is not really... Well, when you've been raised by a narcissist, you become this subservient to the narcissism.

You're always there protecting them from the wounds, you know. They're always so wounded if you break through the narcissistic shell. And the children become deeply upset, and they serve the narcissist. Their whole life is getting this trickle of positive feedback from the narcissist. It's very tough. Getting a little cathartic now, Drew. Very much. And you know what you said, Adam, is really like, this is the daily now.

What did I do to deserve this? And it's very difficult to watch somebody go through and say, you did nothing, you're great. Look at what my brother has done in his life and his parents never cut him off. Right. And I was gonna say, your brother is extremely destructive, but narcissists, they just destroy the people

close to them, that they just, ugh. My brother just randomly the people close to them that they just oh, I Rather just randomly destroy the people. Yeah Well, and his parents never you know his parents was like we'll figure it out and her parents are like I I have Little tolerance for people who just cut people out, especially their only daughter. All right, and my maybe a little Bias because I liked you. All right, and my may be a little Bias because I'd like you. All right You can go to Adam Crowe comm live shows coming up all all over the place gonna be in Phoenix tomorrow at the Tapatio Cliffs Resort and Doing a show there with Craig Schumacher and crow that comes all the live shows. What do you got drew? Don't forget to leave us a voice message at speak pipe comm slash Adam and dr

Drew and then check me out on rumble at ask doctordrew Joe prano p-r-a-i-n-o is where you go for all the shows and all the dates for joe prano until next time i'm carol from joe prano and dr drew say it mahalo did you know you can watch all your favorite crime shows for free on Pluto TV? Totally free? Totally free. They've got CSI New York, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI, SWAT, all for free. There's something suspicious going on here.

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