The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #2056 - The Excess of Expectations

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

Adam and Dr. Drew break down the idea of “the excess of expectations” and what it really means. Dr. Drew shares his thoughts on how women often express emotions differently, and the guys weigh in on the recent Megyn Kelly controversy surrounding her comments about Jeffrey Epstein.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Pluto TV. Stream now. Hey, never. Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Carolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist, Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to

The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on. Get on. Dr. Dersport, 45, said, Dispect, fortified, eight essential vitamin. All right, so we got all our Burt Reynolds we've played that we have, I'm guessing.

But let's put them all in one big file and give them a number, because I'm going to keep adding to those. I love that. And you must share them with me as they are done. And tag me on X, if necessary. I think, I don't know, ask Joey, but I'm hoping we're putting them out there. I know we got one of them out there.

You know, I follow Elon Musk pretty carefully. He keeps talking to all these algorithmic changes, and this will be better, and that'll be better. In his updates of the algorithm, I miss shit I want to see, and you're one of those things. I saw you on Rogan a bunch, but I don't see your post necessarily. Well, Andrew asked Joey if he's posted him,

but if he hasn't, tell him just to, I just take all the burts and put him up on X. So Dr. Trupe can, tag me. Can enjoy them. So, guys, we posted one clip of you and Drew to YouTube. Laughing at it, yeah. And it went viral, like 200,000 views or something.

But we're going to start posting them individually to X, Facebook, and everything. Yeah. There was a little newsome reasoning in there. We did the one, it was super successful, so we thought we'd hold off for a while. Yeah, no, I know. We go. I'm saying, go. Let's do it.

Put them up there. But tag me if you can, if it's okay. I don't know if it slows everything. I think that, I don't know. Yeah. Because I was a little Newsom answer that. I will amplify. But, you know, good to know that, you know, Newsom's a modern man.

He's not alone. So I have more to discuss about the ways in which you have infected me. And I came upon something that I kind of was aware of. And it's apparently been discussed, and then dismissed, of course, but it's being discussed again. And it goes under the frame of the paradox of declining female happiness. Oh, they're miserable. And the more women gain freedom, economic success, academic success, professional success, the less happy. Yes. So my question to, and no one can figure out why, and it tends to be across, U.S. more than anywhere, and a lot,

across the Western cultures. So what do we think that is, given that nobody can figure it out, there are a lot of possibilities in my mind. And maybe it's all the above, but I think we should kind of think through what they are because it's an interesting experiment. I've always sort of thought

of the dog that had no boundaries, and eventually the dog kind of starts chewing on its own foot. You know what I mean? It starts going a little bad, yes because the everything I've often told you the tail of my daughter getting everything she wanted for Christmas one year yeah oh god she's probably six and she just made a list and you know it was it was kind of an interesting thing which was we had essentially an unlimited

amount of money as it pertained to her and her presence because everything is 40 bucks or 20 bucks or 18 bucks or whatever. So she just made... And Corolla dollars, that's big money. Back in the day. Oh, back in the day, yeah. No, no, but now you're confusing because you go, oh, we had. Yeah, you're back in the day.

For my parents, because I'm a Corolla, it's the problem, too. All right. So, anyway, clarity. So, the problem was I had an ex-wife that didn't have anything to do except for fulfilled Santa's list. You know, it wasn't, I'm working, and I can get to two of them. It was, you turn in a list with 20 items on it, and you will see all 20 items under the Christmas tree that Christmas.

And which sounds like you're being a good mom, but you're not because you're screwing the kid up because they got too much stuff. And so I then watched Natalia tear open 20 packages and she was miserable, palpably miserable. I took note of it. So what I realized, telling people you can have everything and have it all, because that's what they did with women. You would have it all, have it all. You know, no, no. It makes you miserable to have it all.

So interestingly. Especially if someone else is providing it. Interesting. The social psychologist's point at exactly that. They call it excess expectation. If you have all this expectation, then you always feel unfulfilled. Yes, yes. And if you've also along the way, have been told.

that the reason your expectations don't feel good is out there. Those people are, you know, making you wear straight hair, whatever, Michelle Obama, whatever it is. Right. They're the ones putting these expectations on you. Therefore, you're a victim now, and of course you feel that there should be more. Turning people in the victims is the cruelest joke you can play on a person. So that's two things. That's number one.

One is the expectation, and the other is then this kind of victimizer mentality. It's two different things. But you're absolutely right. Expectations are all, it sort of goes in the category of people are very happy until somebody has something more and then they get unhappy. Well, there's also an element that they've fought very hard to eradicate, but it's very necessary, which is somebody, a male presence in charge. So whether it's, you know, even if it's a woman, you mean some with male characteristics or? Maybe, but I sort of mean a male in charge, which is if people are sitting around up on the mountain, they're lost, and they're not sure which way the camp is, and it's getting dark and they hear wolves howling in the background, what really they want is a guy to walk up and go, hey, follow me. Follow me to safety. I know where I'm going. Now, when the guy comes up and goes,

I don't know which way the camp is, but I have a feeling about the direction of the camp, but I don't want to invalidate your feelings about your direction toward the camp. And everyone's feelings need to be taking an account in terms of which direction the camp is. That gives them a weird, insecure. That is a horrible and weird feeling. Now, they fight it all the time. They fight it like kids. You know, why are you? charge. The worst feeling you can have as a kid is a dad that goes, I don't know. I don't know what he want for me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. The best feeling you can have is anybody breaks in this house, I'm going to punch him in the mouth.

They're going to be sorry they ever came into this house. And then the kid goes to bed, feels secure. The worst feeling is, is, you know, if someone breaks in his house, I don't know, run. I just run. I just run. because I'm going to be running, too, the other direction. Camille Paglia, a famous theoretician, has said exactly that. So it's 100% that. And basically, most of the shit that applies to kids, half of it applies to women. Well, so that's the other aspect of this.

The point is nobody wants to hear any of this, any of the time, and this is why I'm a pariah. I know. But it's all fucking true. So I'm going to make you say more shitty things. But the other thing is what to do with acting out behaviors. So women have a tendency to act out their emotions. Yes. That thus the megaphone, thus, you know, in front of the ICE officer,

thus the aggression and physicality and then go, what's going on? What's going on? They don't realize even they're acting it out sometimes. That requires containment. Yeah. Well, it works in that it got, you tend to just sort of back off when people are getting agitated and angry and whatever. It's a kind of a blackmail. It's weird. I made a note because I was thinking about it, but I realized there was some Megan Kelly controversy, I think with her

talking about barely legal and Epstein and stuff like that. And then there was, but it sort of felt the same as January 6th and sort of all things COVID. Right. So during COVID, it was, you know, pretty much women going, you can't say that, don't, you can't say that, you can't say that, you can't say that, then guys go, 100th, January 6th was that way, too, at the beginning. It all, it all, it all unfolds, and then you turn out to be right, and then it turns out to be safe to say what you're feeling, but January 6th, like, if you said anything short of a violent, armed, and deadly insurrection, you were a pria, and it came up, this Megan Kelly thing came up. And Megan Kelly was getting destroyed because she basically was talking about Epstein.

Like he doesn't like five-year-old girls. He likes 15-year-old girls. But he said barely legal. Now, I have a theory. There used to be a magazine called Barely Legal. Probably's not aged well. But there was a magazine. I mean, Andrew can find it.

It's probably already on his phone. You can probably hear from the FBI if he looks it up on their computer. Barely legal, it was a magazine, published a magazine called Barely Legal. You know, it was like, yeah, what is this magazine? Well, it's 19-year-old girls who are legally adults, dressed in schoolgirl outfits that look like they're 15. Eish. Sucking on lollipops. I said it didn't age well.

Some of those ladies look okay. But here's my whole point. When Megan Kelly was saying he likes the Barely Legal type, I think she was referring, because Barely Legal is a name of a magazine. It's a brand, right? So because I know more than everybody all the time about everything, and I'm reading between the lines, and Megan is the right age to, you know, she was 30 when Barely Legal came out and probably made fun of it or something or saw it in the rack at this. 7-Eleven, you know what I mean? And barely legal, it meant women that were legal that looked younger. Right.

That's really was the whole point of it. But she was saying 15-year-olds, and then she was saying barely legal. I mean, listen, also, people talk all day every day. They don't get everything exactly right. They have something in their head. She's thinking maybe barely legal magazine, but she's saying 15-year-old, but she means looks like a 15-year-old. A barely-legal was 19-year-olds to look like 15-year-old.

That's what the magazine was. Who published that? Who was that guy? But anyway, she got, and she's saying he didn't like eight-year-olds or whatever. And then she got destroyed. I'm going to bet it was Bob Guccone, that asshole. It has so many screwball things. And then, and so I was talking a woman about it, and she's like, oh, so bad, you know.

And I go, well, I mean, it's a big difference between a five-year-old and a 15-year-old. It's like, oh, please, don't even starve. with that. I go, what are you talking about? There's a huge difference. Oh, don't even go there. I go, what do you mean? I'm going there. You're not going to get into that, are you? I go, yeah, I am. Like, why, why wouldn't I? Oh, my God, no. And I realized this is what they did with COVID, and this is what, you know, they go, if one person dies, and I'm going, I don't get everyone dies, one person died, 10 people died in the time you said one person died in moped accident. So is that worse? better. Yeah, but if one shot, like, this is where we get fucked, fucked. You understand?

Shut up, Matt Damon. That's where this comes from. And I'm sitting there going, no, no, big difference between five-year-old and 15. Big different. What are you talking about? Half the fucking girls I went to high school with a loss of virginity by 15. So it's not five. What are you talking about? Well, don't even get into it. You know, don't even, it's all bad. Okay, yeah, it's all bad, but one is horrifically bad and the other's not nearly as bad. Well, you can't say that. I guess I can't. Why can't I say that?

That's all this is with Megan. Yeah. And by the way, she's saying what he's into. Right. Not her. You know what I mean? Yeah. Shut up, Matt Damon.

All right, we'll listen to it. As for Epstein, I've said this before, which is a reminder, I do know somebody very, very close to this case who. was in a position to know virtually everything. Not everything, but virtually everything. And this person has told me from the start years and years ago that Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile. This is this person's view who was there for a lot of this, but that he was into the barely legal type. Like he liked 15-year-old girls. And I realize this is disgusting. I'm definitely not trying to make an excuse for this. I'm just giving you facts. that he wasn't into like eight-year-olds,

but he liked the very young teen types that could pass for even younger than they were, but would look legal to a passer-by. Yeah, that's barely legal type is the magazine she's talking about. Now, listen, you can pick it apart and go, no, she should have said this and she could have said that,

but her point was he didn't want to be, with the kitties. He wanted to be with the teenagers who looked that age. That's what he wanted, not what Megan wants. She didn't say it should be fine or it's legal or anything. She said, it's disgusting. She said it. It's horrible. Right. So then I'm told, it does not look so good. So then I get told I can't take Megan's side on this. And I go, why not? And then I go, because you can't. Well, that's how we get into trouble. That's what happened with COVID, by the way. We got fucked with COVID because you all same people said you can't say anything.

That's how you know you're over the target now. I guess. All right, we can play it out a little more. But I end up doing this all the time. I'm going to explain to people. Yeah, I agree with her. She's not saying it's a good thing. She's saying this is what he was into.

You agree she didn't say anything wrong is what you're saying. She said the phrase barely legal. But for a person that, is illegal at 15. That's the problem. And I think she's referring to the magazine type. Look, I'm sure if she had to walk it back, she could fix it, is what I'm saying. Her problem, I'm going to be honest, she flipped it around a little bit.

She said, a 15-year-old that might look of age, she said, rather than a person of age who might look 15. Yes, she made, she might have misspoken. She made mistakes. She wasn't championing this practice. Yeah, all right, but you can play it out, sorry. Teen types that could pass for even younger than they were, but would look legal to a passer by.

And that is what I believed, and that was what I reliably was told for many years. And it wasn't until we heard from Pam Bondi that they had tens of thousands of videos of alleged, forgive me, they used to call it kitty porn. Now they call it child sexual abuse material on his computer that for the first, time I thought, oh, no, he was an actual pedophile. I mean, only a pedophile gets off on young children abuse videos. She's never clarified it. I don't know whether it's... Now, the other one is, well, you're a pedophile if you're with a 15-year-old. Well, I was going to say, and the interesting, the horrible part about not defining these things is what Megan's point is,

she doesn't know whether those videos were 15-year-olds or 3-year-olds. She doesn't, because it's all, you know, pedophilia porn. Yeah. All right. So, it's... It's a subject that makes people uncomfortable. Yes. It's a subject that nobody wishes upon anyone they know. All we did was talk to the victims of this shit for 30 years in Loveline. That's it. But I'm going to stand by the, there's a huge difference between an 8-year-old and a 15-year-old.

In terms of having sex with that. Let me spell it out. Eight and under, it's devastation to the nervous system. It is absolutely a derailment of the, of the, and remember all the girls that sounded six years old, we used to talk. It's a derailment of development is a disaster for that individual. Eight to, let's say 15,

could be a catastrophe as well, though may not be quite as catastrophic. The nervous system is not equipped to deal with sex until after 16. So under 16, you're still harming people. And some people would argue that 16 to 20 for some people may be a problem too. But definitely under 16, everybody agrees.

No, well, no. Yeah. So, more unpopular opinions. With Adam Carolla. Well, I mean, this falls under the heading of just shut up Matt Damon. I mean, when a Dumbo number seven chick is telling me that, you know, when Matt Damon is saying what Al Franken did isn't what Weinstein did, there could be no more agreement on the planet than me with that statement. Where are you on the Epstein files? Where am I on him? Just release, I want to see what's there.

I'm somewhere in the middle, middle seven pages. So my turn, he says. You read slow. No, I'm in them. Oh, Drew, you always get the jokes around. I do. Always, always. A little too literal.

Too literal. Look, I'm for release, whatever, whatever, just to shut everyone up without, you know, damaging any victims. All right back after this. Every morning, a scoop of AG1 makes kicking off the day simple. AG1 is not just your average supplement. It is a habit that supports whole body health in one scoop. People are reporting more energy, easier mornings, and instead of juggling a bunch of different bottles for supplements,

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We're not helping them. Well, so you've pointed out some very prominent theories as to why, but there are others, right? One is, this is a really kind of interesting one that I thought of. men, when we get into these positions of authority, or we have professions, we go really hard to develop, or we get in a position in leadership in a company, say, we kind of love it, usually. We enjoy it. Maybe the women aren't satisfied the same way for some reason by those positions. Maybe they get there, and they're like, I don't really like this.

I mean, let me distill it down to kind of a brass tax. women are not the same as men. Women are very different than men. And there are creatures, Drew, that, you know, you take a penguin. Okay. Take a penguin. Got it. You take a penguin and you put them on land and they don't move around very well at all.

They're very slow and sort of cumbersome and they have difficulty. Yes. And then they hit the water and they're like a torpedo. Yes. And it's majestic. Right? And you go, okay, they thrive there. They're more meant, they can do the land thing, but they're more meant for this. This is how they're shaped.

This is what their nature wants them to do. This is where they should be. And then they can come up on land and lay some eggs and then go back in and shoot around like a torpedo and hunt herring. Yeah. Okay. But if we just said to them, listen, get up on land and you stay on land and you never go into the water. They're not really meant for it. It's not, then we go, well, yeah, but the polar bears hang out on land most of the time,

and there's lots of other stuff up on land, so just get up there and do what they, and then the penguin would start getting uncomfortable and go, I want to go in the ocean. No, no, no, no, no, no. You want a career. You want independence. You want free sex. You want to be burdened with a husband and held down by kids and burdened with kids. You want to go out there.

Oh, you want to be a dude. But you don't want to be a dude. That's not what your nature is. So we've been trying to talk women into being dudes for about 50 years now. And to enjoy the same things the same way. But they don't. Not necessarily. And we're trying to talk women into being dudes, and those women are miserable.

And we're trying to talk dudes into becoming women. and those dudes are miserable. And the happy people are the women that are acting like women and enjoying that life. And the men that are acting like dudes and enjoying that life. Those are the happy people, everyone. And so we're doing the opposite of what would make them happy. And so it's interesting. When the dudes do the opposite, it would make them happy.

They essentially kill themselves. Or go into a school and start shooting their school or whatever. They go trans or something or whatever it is. They eat themselves, yeah. But women sort of acted out again. Yes. Take it out on. Yes.

You're seeing all these miserable women acting out. And now they're talking about leaving the country, 40% of women are thinking about leaving the country, which is interesting. That would be awesome. But, yes, they first say they kind of defile themselves a little. They put like some nose hoops in and some weird aggressive piercings and tattoos and shaved side of their hair. You know, they desecrate themselves a little bit. It's kind of a physical thing like I'm going to ruin. like I'm it's it's it's really like they're it's it's like they're attacking a synagogue or something like they're

knock stuff over and spray paint on stuff like they're going to defile it you know what I mean so they do kind of a self defiling and then they and they by the way they hate the Megan Kelly's of the world they hate the ones who like being a woman and who have the aesthetic of a woman and like the job like the job and the aesthetic part of it too they like they're like the femaleness and they're like job. Right. Right. So they look at those, go, well, why is she happy, bitch? Right. Yeah. Yeah. She is. Yeah, yeah. It's possible to do both. But we could have no other result. We're taking women. We're taking them away from what they need and we're shoving them in some other space and we're telling them that's independence and that's freedom. And by the way, don't listen to any guys. That's not the key to you being

free and happy. And by the way, guys don't like you in neither do society. And then they just get up there and Michelle Obama gets up there and talks about us not being ready for a female president. And they create some sort of false environment where no one wants them or discriminating against them or not listening because they're whatever of color or woman or whatever. And then they just walk around fucking miserable. What she said about. The greatest white privilege in the world drew is what you're so fucking useless greatest white privilege you said it before and I said it 30 times I can't remember what it was it's not thinking anyone cares oh yeah it's not it's not a privilege it's not thinking you're it's not being told by Michelle Obama I'm being oppressed all the

time that would make me miserable the one of the most stunning things she said was about how it's because of white people that black women straighten their hair right Michelle Obama And I thought, wait a minute, when I think of straight hair, I think of like Asian people, Native American people. I don't think necessarily white people necessarily. I mean, Sidney's had kind of straight hair, but what does she do? She curls it. You know what I mean?

And I actually did a couple talk shows back in the day, dedicated to black women's hair. And the strangest thing came out of it was so shocking to me. Because I kept asking, I kept, I was like, why? Why the straight hair? We like that, we like, look how beautiful all these different options are for you guys. Why the straight? And one of the women said, because that's the way the slave owner liked our hair. So we got, we were mandated by the slave owner.

And I said, so you want to behave in the manner which that, those fucking assholes required you to behave? You were adopting, it's like Stockholm syndrome. I don't think she, I think she was just saying that. Straight hair looks better than curly hair. I don't think, I think these, I, I think, I, I think. It looks better. Let's, all right. Let's take it.

There's plenty of women, there's tons and tons of white women who straighten their hair. Yeah. Tons. That's true. It's tons. They get these Brazilian blowouts, all these dry bars, these blowout, these blowout bars. That's white women getting blown out. Because their hair could be coarse.

Look at Corrine Jean-Pier. Did you like it better when it's curly? Or you like it now that it's... I like it better when it's curly. Me too. Because, well, she also puts... They also do this... Black women will do this weird.

Like, I'm going to put a little orange in my hair, which is weird. I don't... She put a little orange in there. When it was curly? When it was yellow, wasn't it? I'm sorry, I just don't know what you're talking about. I like... Okay.

Do you like it better, curly or straight? Curly. I said yes. I like it curly. But it's because she also put weird orange in her hair. when she straightened it out. So I'm qualifying what I'm saying. So the straight look worse because the straight look worse because she made it orange.

Also, you're used to her this way the entire time. So it was, it kind of bumped you. If you just, it's sort of like, like, you know what? If you get used to a person in your life who's fat for 25 years and then they get skinny, everyone will go, you look better when he was fat. But they don't mean, they don't know. They don't mean that. What they're saying is, is I'm used.

to seeing Ralph this way. Except Randy Jackson does look a little too thin. But this is my, but that's America. I mean, that's my, my, this is our point. We got used to this and now there's this. Yes, I understand. And that bumped us. But no, you don't like curly hair better than straight hair.

You're just saying that. And nobody does. And that's why everyone straightens their hair. Okay. And they all straighten their hair. I like different things. I like diversity of stuff. You like straight hair better than curate.

early hair on the whole. And so does America. You brought up one example of a lesbian. That's not what we're talking about. Okay. And so the last point that's actually maybe a big one, it may be everything for all I know, but hormones. The birth control pill, maybe that's screwing people up way more than we know. It's all, whatever it is, it's all conspiring to turn women nuts. And menopause. We don't treat perimenopause when women are really. very active in the workplace, and men, we would have trouble functioning if we were under that kind of storm condition. Well, look, there's a whole bunch of stuff, and not only that, but, I mean, so many young

women on SSRIs and some medications and things like that, they're all on a ton of shit. It all needs to be looked at, but punishing heterosexual white man is not going to fix you, bitches. This is Camille Pack at this point. Back to that, yes, 100%. Yes. and telling us to fuck off or whatever's not going to fix anything either. Well, so, but I think you'll take away everybody at YouTube, Adam, this declining female

happiness has many causes. It's not one thing. But it's interesting. The main overriding thing is we are trying to get a round peg into a square hole. They are not doing what they were put here to do. And we won't accept. that. Is there a way to make these things that are traditionally done by men more women enjoyable? Something about it. Probably not. Well, first off, I have no idea why you women want to get up and go fucking to the salt mine every day. There's nothing enjoyable about it. You had this weird thing where it's like, you guys get to go out and do what? Risk our lives, working and fucking quarries, you know what I mean, or a metal foundry, or building, I mean, you ever see

what factory work looks like, what mining looks like, what working on an oil, Derek looks like, like, like a roughneck oil guy looks like, you know what these construction? I fucking, I mean, I wasn't turn of the century coal miner, but I worked in modern times, but I was fucking stood around. First off, whatever the temperature it is outside, That's your work temperature. And in the San Fernando Valley, it could be 112 degrees and you're in Chatsworth or it could be fucking cold out in recede in December or whatever. You work outdoors.

You work in the elements. There is no chair. There's no phone. There's no. You use a porta potty. You eat off a shitty sandwich off a lunch truck. And you work all day. You stand and lift things.

It's not, there's nothing enviable about it. You shouldn't want to do it. I would love it if a woman said, no, I'll go do that. And then you stay home. I would have immediately embraced that. So the first thing, the whole thing is flawed. You know what I mean? Like you get to do this thing.

What thing? Sit in traffic. Be stressed out. Sometimes be killed, depending on what the job was. You get to, okay, I don't know. Underwater welding on an oil, Derek. Is that something that sounds? Exciting, glamorous.

Sounds dangerous and shitty to me. There's lots of, so, I mean, it's not all, you know, high-powered attorney. Most of it is just fucking, you drive an Amazon truck. That's what you do. You fucking spend the whole day dropping off packages. Does that sound like exciting, glamorous? Be interesting to see what happens when the robots do all that. Jesus.

They're already, what I'm saying is, flawed at the beginning. And as long as we're going to try to get you to do shit guys are meant to do, you're going to be miserable. Oh, by the way. The guys don't like doing it, by the way. But if you said to me, Adam, here's your lot in life. You're off the road.

You're not coming into work. You're going to hang around and raise kids all day and sort of take care of the house stuff. I'd be miserable. You would chew your hand off. Right. I'd go, that's not, I'm not meant to do that. I'm meant to travel and entertain and do that. I meant to do something else, although I'd dig it for a while, and I would build something.

All right, Drew, Texas, Woodlands, Texas, docee dough, the big bonner. You got Amcrow.com, and then Walnut Springs, Texas, Rattelst Street, Roadhouse. It's not achievable, Drew, the plus. Saturday. All right, that's Saturday. You got Amcrow.com for all the live shows. What do you got, Drew? Dr.com, Dr.com, TV, for the shows.

Check it all out there. So, until next time, Adam Crow, for you. Dr. Sane. Mahala. This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for drive,

World War Z. Every human being we save. It's one of less to fight. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci-fi adventure with the fifth element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here?

All the thrills. All for free. Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.