The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #2057 - It’s Not Gonna Work

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

Adam and Dr. Drew reflect on getting older, from slower recovery after getting sick to what it means to feel truly accomplished by the end of your life. They dig into why managing expectations is so important, and how the “feminization” of men has left many guys without basic skills. They end by reacting to Adam’s latest and hilarious Home Depot vlog.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show. Football season is heating up. Thanksgiving weekend is coming up with the NBA and college basketball seasons. They're off to a run and start. There's no better place to get in on all the action than bet online, your number one source for all things, sports and casino. Bet Online gives you more ways to play. With the latest odds, breaking news, live scores, and in-game betting.

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and rewards design for serious players. Head to Bet Online today because at BetOnline, the game starts here. Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla. and Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist, Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, getting on, got to get on, get on, Dr. Bopertzat, Jason, herbalist side medicine. Ooh, many. It's going on.

Yeah, I was just saying to Adam, it was my first day kind of up and around after another, another effing episode of diverticulitis, which just reminds me of, It's bad enough to get sick But when you are older and you get sick The resiliency and the recovery It just drives me fucking crazy I can't stand it Harder come back

Yeah And I think Were you and I talking about this yesterday That the main thing No is it maybe it was you That I'm noticing about getting older Is it's about taking shit away Just shit gets taken away from me

Yeah I was talking about I was talking to this about you with you and then i was talking about it on the on my podcast about having stuff removed and then kind of uh did you get into your dad and how you didn't have anything removed i did but you know he's not all wrong in that the you know the kind of zen philosophy is you don't have a bunch of stuff then when it's time to part the earth you're not lamenting about lots of stuff you left behind and that's not supposed to be family members. Well, but it's interesting.

Zen philosophy is sort of stuff. My dad expanded it to people. Yeah. And sons and daughters as well. But, but I mean, look, if you, look, let's just put it to you this way. If you're somewhere and, okay, here, you're ready, Drew? Yeah, this may be a preemptive sniff. you're at a beautiful steakhouse and you're waiting and at some point your big

T-bone steak and all the sides and all the fixings arrives with the fresh martini and it's set down in front of you and then somebody tapped you on the shoulder and says it's time to leave and you go what what about that you know come on we're going and you leave and now you're unhappy because you're walking out of the restaurant you're picturing this big steak sitting there with your name on it. But if you'd already finished the steak or in my dad's case, never ordered the steak. Now you're just sitting there. This is a huge topic. And somebody just taps you on the shoulder. Now, there's some people, I would imagine, you know, like Norm Pattis, who founded Westwood One, then he founded Podcast One and stuff like that. You know, that guy been at

every Lakers championship game courtside with a nickel-plated revolver stuffed in his waistpan and hung out with hung out with Magic Johnson and, you know, all of them, all of them. Yeah. I flew private to Europe with that guy.

You know what I mean? He'd go to France every summer in south of France. In a private jet. Yeah. Yeah, because it was like, man, I'll take a private jet. So, I don't know, when that guy died,

he probably didn't want to die, but he probably reflected on all the championships and all the rings and all the accolades and the life, you know what I mean? I feel like he died gracefully. Yeah, well, he's also, he finished his steak. He had his steak, he had his martini. He had some tiramisu, and he leaned back in the chair,

and he loosened up his belt a little, and then someone said, it's time to leave. Yeah. And he got him and said, okay. Yeah. Now, my dad never ordered this. steak or the martini so he was just sitting there the whole time yeah so somebody said it's time to leave then jim carola went yeah i i guess so i don't know what i'm doing here i'm just sitting here

you know what you don't want is the plate just arrived that's like lend bias or somebody like that you know just went to the nba and you know boom gone but you don't want is i'm in the middle eating my steak either somebody taps me yeah on the shoulder and says it's time to leave. Yeah. You don't want that. So you want the, you don't want the never ordered the steak.

Right. You want the finished it, and now it was time to go. Well, the Zen thing would be never order. Don't get attached to anything. Yes, that's what I'm saying. And so I don't like that. I don't know if we should be making fun of my dad or not,

but he never got, but the thing is, that would have been, it's true. I don't know that we're all supposed to aspire. to Zen because the problem with the non-attachment thing

it's not just steaks and martinis and 55 Chevy's it's sort of whatever's on the planet. Yeah. It's not I don't, you know, I'm not a seasoned Yankees ticket holder and I'm not this, I'm not that. It all

trickles down to just everything at a certain point you're just here and you're not really doing anything. So it, but there's a weird kind of weird subtle philosophical point in this and I don't mean by point by like a rational point it's just sort of a zone which is I was standing in the shower this morning and I was missing my dog like really missing him Rex Rex and and then I thought of the last time I expressed that you you just you you zeroed right in and went okay who's you know missed your mom or Rex worse

and which is worse, Rex, immediately. And I thought, and I did not miss my mom ever. And I thought, is that a favor? Did she do me a favor? Ever after she died? After she passed away, yes. Yeah. But even when she was alive.

Yeah, we never had a relationship. So it's just sort of, there's nothing in it for me. I do. It is, it is, it's so funny that around the holidays, your thoughts turned to family. And I had the exact same thoughts. Like, okay, I don't have to deal with them. But is that, is that a? favor or did we miss something it's a it's a favor around this time of year I guess it's a favor no I mean

listen it's it's a favor like when a shitty employee quits and I've had a almost everyone who's ever quit I've been happy that they left or or just had to move on or whatever usually it's a favor if they're shitty and they quit but if they're really good and you depend on them then it's not a favor. So it's sort of up to them. It's also from zero to 18 or 20 or whenever you need them, it's pretty devastating. But once you're up and out, it sort of pays dividends because you don't have to, you know, spend the time and do the whatever. I mean, also there's a, there's a kind of not necessarily a monetary, but sort of a tangible part of the whole thing where like they owned something or had something or bought something that something you could have

or share or they could leave you or whatever um i mean my my family was a zero in on every department on every level so i've just sort of you know the only the only thing it's screwed up for me really is doing stuff for people buying them cars and and things like that and have them not appreciated at all is devastating to me because of that, setting the table with where I come from. Right, right. You know, it's counterintuitive. It's unthinkable.

It's weird to be able to provide something amazing for somebody in Hamdisko. You know what I mean? But you want to follow? No, I was just, I was going to say, I mean, that is a default setting of, you know, human beings. that sort of non-appreciative thing, sadly. I mean, it's very rare. It's common. I don't know if it's a set point or if it's this current set point,

which is my next sort of follow-on to this topic is something I had brought up last week, but it's specific to this, which was that paradox of female unhappiness, which is a big topic, it's a huge topic, but you zeroed in on the inflated expectations being sort of let down and the expectations were absolutely unrealistic. Well, I mean, there's an, okay, so let me say this.

You say you can do everything and you're a rock star and your hero. I mean, this is that whole thing where you go, you take the young black girl and you go, okay, your name is Nefertina, and that means princess of Wakanda. and what we call you princess you know and that's all that we call it and then you grow up on a steady diet of don't let anybody ever tell you you're not better than anybody else

you don't let anybody and at some point they're 31 and they're standing at the frontier airline checkin desk and the chick behind the counter goes sorry the doors closed you missed a flight and she's like but I'm Queen Nesbella of Asgard

and you go yeah yeah well you have to wait for the next flight and it's not for four hours so go sit down and they go but but you understand my you know my name means queen and and they go yeah go ahead and sit down and then they knock over the computers because they don't know what to do with it yeah because they've been told they've been fed a bunch of bullshit the self-esteem movement fucked people up royally everyone's number one everyone's the best everyone's special everyone's a snowflake nobody's poor no one's fat no one's dumb we've fucked everyone up with this and we fucked women up with it.

Men, we don't get fed this shit. We get fed like fucking hard work. You know, work, that guy outworked you, bro. You better go out work him. You know, we get fed a lot of reality on reality's terms. There was no. Well, even we get a, there's plenty got a flavor of it, too much. They got too much of it.

But generally, we get more of the get out there fucking pick it out. Well, young guys get fucked up by this. But in general, white heterosexual male, do not get fed any of this, you're proud, you're beautiful, you're this, you're that. You're the opposite. You're toxic. Yeah, yeah. So then you just learn you have to outwork everybody.

Yeah. That's all. And it works, by the way. The outworking people part works, everyone I know. It's always worked. It's always worked. It's always worked. It's always work.

But they don't talk about because they're into some fucking work-life balance they're trying to put together in their 20s, like fucking retarded. dudes. But anyway, so I'm telling all my young guys, don't worry about the work-life balance when you're young. You work on that when you're older. When you're young, it's supposed to be career shit. I was so indulgent in that zone that I think I hurt people. They're my family. I didn't. I ignore things. You work too hard. I worked too hard. I was a full on. Don't be a whole lot. Don't quite be like me, but get a flavor of me. Yeah. Air on the side of work.

How about that, young males? Yes. And a little less you time. And before we just make your point, and listen to guys like us. We are time travelers. We have stuff to offer. That doesn't exist. I know, I know, but I just would suggest it.

Well, well, on a happy note, on a happy note, I won it. And so women have been over-promised everything. And listen, managing expectations is a big. fucking deal. It is a big fucking deal. You understand? Yes. You go to the airport and I tell you you're flying, we're going first class all the way, first class, reclining seats, champagne service. And then you get onto the plane and you find out you're in business. It's disappointed. Now you're disappointed. Now that flight's not good. You did not manage that person's expectation. You're in business, right?

But if I tell you we're in coach, and then we show up and we're in business, then you're happy. Just turning left. You're ecstatic. You're, wait a minute. Business sometimes is left, isn't it? Okay. All right, forget. But why do you add on with non-s?

I'm trying to add something. But you're adding confusion. You don't turn left. Sometimes you turn left for business. But turning left means, anyway, but you're not helping one way or the other. The point is this. you flying coach if that's what you think you're doing on the way to the airport

and you find out you're in business then you're happy for that flight if you think you're flying first class and you end up in business then you're unhappy what's the difference you're still in business you did not manage the expectations of the person I'm people do this all the time where people go like this gonna be the best

I go just wait till we get there you know what I mean like let's see let's see we did not manage women's expectations and now they're disappointed right and and and thus unhappy well there was that aspect uh and there is also the you can do it all group well that's part of the expectation right you can't do it all but but it's funny that I think I mentioned this before I shared the podium of the woman an author I think she was named Schmidt she wrote a book out like 2004, where she went out and interviewed all the most successful women in America and wanted to see what they had in common.

And she said, I found no trade in common, except that they were all pissed because they were told they could have kids whenever they want, and they're all childless. Right. And so women got that message, it seemed like they froze their eggs, they did things. But even so, there's a dissatisfaction. And I wonder, a couple things. I mean, Because the data defies any particular category. Women with children, without children, with families. Part of it is men are a disappointment. We just are, I think.

And also... Well, listen, we're disappointing because you guys made us disappointing. You decided that we didn't know have to have any skills or any abilities or any... We cease to be men, and now you guys are disappointed. that you're dealing with these wet fucking noodle dudes that are just you created the dude and now you're disappointed I would be too well you ruin guys they don't have any skills anymore they don't they don't fuck they don't fight

they don't build shit they don't fix shit no well I would be disappointed too if the car got a flat tire and we just pulled over and I was the chick and I just looked at the dude and the dude just looked at me and went I don't you fix it I mean, yeah, I'd be disappointed. Yeah. Yeah. Where was I going with this? Oh, and the other thing, which I think is a more subtle problem that I don't know how you solve, which is things that make men happy in the workplace don't necessarily make women happy.

So the same job, the same – yeah, totally. It's not even – I mean, it's in the workplace and just beyond. Right. Well, let's just take being the CEO of the company makes a guy like, oh, it's what I've achieved, I'm there. made it. We might be like, oh, God. Why would the workplace be different than any place? Correct. Why should it be different? I've never met a woman that shared any of my interests outside of the workplace. So why inside of the workplace? All of a sudden, we all align. We all want the same thing? Yeah. All right, Drew, I got something to play for you, multiple things.

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All the thrills. All for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. All right. All right. Now, we got some Gavin News, some Burt Reynolds for you.

Oh, my God. But you brought up, it's also. Don't tease me like that. Oh, you're getting teased. It's also guys being able to do stuff. So I told you the other day I went to Home Depot and I was standing around and I was just, I was checking out of the Home Depot. Oh, yeah. And I just was standing by the red shirt.

I was explaining that whoever the woman was in front of me, whatever it is, she was doing, it wasn't going to work. I hadn't watched the tape, but it turns out I said it's not going to work like, well, we can count them, maybe 14 times. So I'll display you that, you know. This is a woman, how would you describe her? I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry, I don't know that was the woman.

It's all right. she's a woman she's checking out in front of me she's got a tank top she's got a manly cart got some plywood yeah she's behaving like she knows what she's doing yeah so far she's got uh she's hair's back tank top shorts i do have the impulse sometimes to walk up to people and go whatever you're planning it's not going this isn't what this is this wait a stop stop that was that the first time you'd set eyes on that woman yeah Yeah, I just pulled up to the register. As we saw it, as we saw it with the video.

No, I interviewed her in the parking lot for a half hour, and then we came back and staged it. Look, for all I fucking know, dude, you followed around. No, I did not. I told you. I pulled up to... I'm making you sound good. Let me make you sound good for a second. Thank you.

I pulled up to the register and she was there. That, you observed her for under 10 seconds. From behind. From behind. And I can barely... I would have a zero register for me. I wouldn't even notice the car at the time. she had, let alone she would just be a chick

in shorts with a tank top of their hair back. Yeah. Youngish. Youngish? Like probably 40? That's what I thought. Yeah. Okay. Aaron. But not working is not to enter my consciousness. All right. Not going to work. Some closet thing.

A lot of range in this by. A lot of range. It's already not working. It's already not working at. It's not going to work. If I ever see a chick buying dowels, I'm like, it's whatever you're planning. It's not going to work. So stop again, stop again.

Was the dowels in the initial impression, too? Or is that something you? I didn't really see it too well. Okay. But yeah, probably. She had the plywood cut there. Yeah, that too. That was not a good sign for me.

Yeah. And I only know it because I know what size plywood is. You know what's fascinating to me is when I walk in the room with a patient, it's almost like you smell what's going on. Yeah. You just, you just like, oh, I know the 10,000 hours. Yeah, I know what this is. I know what it is right away. I, I, I'll take the history, but I already know.

She had a T-square, which I called a framing square, which I was incorrect about. Didn't even see that. But that's kind of a heavy-duty tool. That's not a, you know, DIY or weekend warrior tool. But go ahead. Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work. Something for hanging, something, not going to work. Also, had to have the wood cut in the back.

That means no saw. No saw at home. No, man, at home. It's just not going to work. I should just go head her off. I just go, look. I'll give you $40 for all this crap. You'll thank me.

Get a bottle of Chardonnay, go home. This is not going to work. They're telling me it's not going to work. She's out there. I said it's not going to work like 18 times. You've got a framing square. I'll give her that. Hold on.

I just caught some dude behind me, looking at my son-tube going, it's not going to work. You're right, he left. Smart move. We good? When I go out in the parking line? Good. How are you doing?

Good. There she is. She's going to try to stuff all that stuff into a 92 sob, and it's not going to work. It's not going to work. Worst, Volkswagen, Cheta. It's not going to work. It's not going to get that shit in that jetta.

We're already off to bed start. I haven't made it out of the parking lot already. I'm telling you. She's got a five foot by four foot piece of shop-grade birch that is not fitting in the trunk of that jet. What I tell you in the store, what I tell you 15 minutes ago, I said it's not going to work. Can't even, this is a failure to launch.

Can't even get the plywood in the back of the jet. It's not going to work. Again, people think I'm being cruel. I'm helping people. People should pay me for the service where I just come up and explain to them. It's just not going to work. I can do it with couples too. She's now inside the car.

And she's calling her partner. I'm not going to say boyfriend. I'm not going to say girlfriend. She's calling her partner. partner. So she's sitting. Plywit's not going to make it. She's sitting inside her car.

You think we're going out this exit? We are not. We're going on a victory lab. We are going on a victory lab. Well, that's... All right. Oh, my God. This is the best idea you ever had.

I know. I stand by the... I realize I have... We have AI now. We can have a Corolla AI for couples and projects. Not going to work. It's not going to work. And all the things got to say to you is not going to work.

You better go reassess. Yeah. Great for couples. If you just wave it under your partner, it's not going to work. Pull in a little tighter on this plywood pick if we can. I'm trying to still trying to figure out the one she had cut like those shelves because I'm trying to figure out the grain. Oh, she cut. Okay. Oh, God, am I good. What happened? Okay, I bet there's four shelves there. Okay. Okay, so plywood is four. We could go back to the cart and see if you want. Plywood is four by eight. Yeah. right four foot by eight foot um she ripped it she had it cross cut sorry at five foot remember i said yep i said it's a four by five foot it's four foot wide five foot long she cut her shelves out of the remaining three feet but they're one footer so she cross cut a three

foot piece and then did four 36 inch by almost 12 you got to think for the thickness of the blade. By the way, it's a 16th on each side because the blade's eighth inch deck. But she's got to have four shelves in there. So what she did is she ordered the dowls, like 36-inch dowels, and she had her shelving for her closet cut at 36. Can you pull in? Are there four of those? Go to the car, you'll see. Yeah, she ripped them up and she's going to do shelving. closet shelving and the piece of ply which is four by five is just extra she just don't want to burn that oh she want to throw that away oh that's crazy she has something planned for that at home well it's it's 34 bucks worth of plywood I see or whatever it is okay um did she imagine that she could

just get the the shelves and then they said no no she could have bought prefab shelves yeah one foot wide by different length, six foot, eight foot, and probably slid it through the Jetta, but she bought a piece of ply and had them whack it up to her specifications, and now she stuck with this extra piece of ply that she doesn't have any, have any use for. Uh-huh. So that's-oh, you can almost see it that there. Yeah, I think it's four. It could be three, one.

Can you go to the car? It doesn't, it's academic, but this is the plight. this is the extra piece of ply that I knew she was trying to take home but I knew wouldn't fit and whatever but she could have had a truck there's lots of pickup trucks out there or wagon or something with a rack on it or something

and she did look like a chick that could have a truck by the way she had a tape measure on the side of her belt which shows a little business and she also had a T square like I said which is a little more whatever Is that the shelves in the back there next to the T-square?

Yes, no. So what she did is probably three, 14-inchers or something like that, and they just burned six inches of it and threw it away. See, here's the whole thing about everything. You ready, Drew? Yeah. It's all on layout. It's all 12, 16, 24.

Because everything is 4 foot by 8 foot. So there is no anything that's like 13 inches. That's just a waste of wood. so if you are doing shelves you get a four by eight sheet apply and you set up your table saw for a little under 12 inches wide and you just rip and if you do it right your last shelf you don't even rip that's the same as the first shelf because you figured out the thickness of the blood just because i'm curious that yellow pack oh but there are four dow are there four dows yeah yeah because so they're four dows a dow for every shelf so now i'm confused a little but yes and the yellow is that the pockets in the back under the Teaves. I did not assess that on the job site. I just had a feeling, Drew. Yeah, yeah.

And I followed my feeling. Follow my gut. Never said it before. Been to Home Depot 1,000 times. Never talked about the person in front of me. But I had a feeling. Also, when she was going out to the parking lot, I just said she's not going to get that thing of the car.

Yeah. But I don't know. Why would she bring a Jetta to put a full-size sheet of plywood into? Well, why? why did I know? No, why did she think, why did she think she could do that? That's even equally as mind-boggling to me. She went there.

Is that? She went there to get the shelves and the dowels for the closet, right? Got it. And then she found the piece of ply and she told the guy to rip it up. And he did. And then the guy said this extra, whatever's left to apply, you bought it. I mean, you own it. And it's more than half a sheet, a good plywood.

You want to leave behind? And she went, fuck it, I'll take it. But in her mind, she was going to get shelves, poles, and shelf. Do you think she was doing this for a home project? Or was she being paid to do this by someone else? Tape measure on the belt sometimes means paid. Yeah. Someone else.

T-square. T-square is a pretty advanced tool. It's not a... Also, T-square is. what you would use if you were going to cut up that ply. Does she buy, she's buying that T-Square or she? No, she rented one. No, I don't know what the hell may-

Okay, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, they sell T. No. Yeah, she, well, I hope she's buying it or she stole it. Maybe she stole it. Yes, it's on the car. The point is it's not something you would bring to assess what you were ordering.

No, no, a tape measure on your belt would be, be enough. but I've been to Home Depot a number of times where I just walk through the tool department and grab a tape measure and walk over to whatever piece of tile I'm trying to measure whatever, do it that way. Anyway, that's the not going to work, lady. It didn't disappoint, did it, Drew? No, and it's a testament to this thing that I worry about when people are relying so much on AI, which is that the human brain can process more, probably more than any other

instrument in the universe, when it's had enough input, you know, that people talk about the 10,000 hours, but really we're talking about experience, experiential learning, multiple, multiple, multiple experiences with the same thing in the variety of presentations in nature, right, in the wild, which is not a digital thing, you know, if X then Y, if Y than Z. I mean, you can approximate it, but that holism, that smell that you and I were just talking about 10 minutes ago, that only, I think that's

only the human brain. So when they talk about doctors are going to be all AI, it's like, yeah, the basic stuff, there's some stuff they can get, but the complex stuff, no, I don't think so. All right, we'll have Gavin on the next show, Gavin, Bert Reynolds. I have to wait. You got to wait.

Friday, December 5th, me and Santa Barbara, at the Santa Barbara Comedy Club. I don't have there's two shows there. One, we can look that up. Also, following day, Corona, California, because why shouldn't I go from Santa Barbara at Corona on a weekend? So why not? Dos Lagos Amphitheater. Jay Moore. Jay's a really funny stand-up. You want to check that out. Then off to Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Fort Lauderdale. Again, you just go to AMCrow.com for all the live shows. What do you got, Drew?

Follow on Instagram, D.R. Drew Pinsky, and on X, Watch for the shows. That's stream live on X, DR, D, D, W. So, until next time, I'm I'm Crow for Dr. Sane. Mahala. This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up

for Drive, World War Z. Every human being we save. It's one of less to fight. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci-fi adventure with the fifth element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here?

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