The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #2090 - BREAKING PROTOCOL | Part 1

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Comedian Rudy Pavich fills in while Dr. Drew is away on vacation. Adam recaps his weekend performing in Portland, Oregon, including a frustrating experience with Uber, and shares his thoughts on proper green room etiquette at comedy clubs. Later, Adam and Rudy discuss how anxiety has become a catch-all explanation for many young people, as well as the importance of common decency, personal responsibility, and treating others with respect.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on that show. Dr. Drew is on a cruise, baby.

Wow. Is he performing on said cruise? Is he doing time? Was he doing like a tight 10 up top? Tight 10 up top. A lot of karaoke. Yes. He was just in Monaco for the Grand Prix.

Oh, good for him. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, so he got to go to that. Now he's cruising. He's enjoying. He's enjoying his life. Yeah, was he racing or was he just enjoying?

Just enjoying. But he got the first-class treatment, thanks to me. Because I got him in with McLaren, and he got the royal treatment over there, which is nice. It's a tough ticket to get. Let's see. I had a funny thing happen when I was, but I don't know. I don't know how other people would have reacted to this. But I was in Portland and I was there without Mike August and I was there without Rudy.

I was there all by myself. Big boy now. Big boy now. And I had to use Uber. Now, normally when I try to use Uber doesn't work. I want some other verification or some sort of payment method. Literally, it's never worked. It's never worked for me.

But I said, you know what? I got it all reprogrammed and rebooted. I didn't do it. My assistant did. But now I'm going to do Uber. And Friday, I Uber to the club. Okay. And I Ubered back to the room.

I can only imagine what the Uber was listening to in Portland, Oregon on your way to the club. I don't recall, but it wasn't, it wasn't annoying. That's good. Yeah. But so I ubered to the club and I ubered back and it all worked perfectly. And I was very proud of myself. So then Saturday for a 6 o'clock show, I felt very happy. I'd made the run the day before.

It only took about 12 minutes to get to the club. And so it shows at 6. I have an emcee and an opener. So technically I don't hit the stage until 6.30. But I go down to lobby the hotel at 5.30 and I start to call an Uber. And then I noticed that the street in front of the hotel has been closed off for what looks like some sort of Portland Saturday night street fair or something. And then I go, okay, well, I call the Uber. And the Uber says, you know, 10 minutes away, then it says three minutes away, then I go outside, then it goes back up to eight minutes away, and then the guy drops.

And then I call another Uber. That says like seven minutes away. I go, okay. Then it goes down to three. Then it goes down to like one. Then it goes up to eight. Then it goes back to 11. And as I start walking around, looking around, I'm seeing it's gridlock because they've closed the streets off.

and they're doing this like street fare, and everything is gridlock. And now it's like 545, and I'm calling Mike, and I'm saying, Mike, I got to, I'm having trouble with this Uber, but I think I'll be there. But I got until 630. It's 545. I'm only like 15 minutes away. I think I'm going to be good. just tell the club I'll be there like six, six oh five.

I think I got this. Then I call another Uber. I know. And the next Uber drops me. And now I'm starting to look around and I'm realized I'm in the gridlock zone. There's everything's piled up. Nobody can get in or out. So now I'm like, I don't think any Uber's going to pick me up here because no one can get here.

And also the club's a one and a half mile. miles from here. It's basically a $15 Uber ride. Who's going to sit in this traffic for a $15 Uber ride? So then I then weighs it to the club on my phone. And I start walking the direction of the club because I'm like every step I get, I get a step closer to the club. And then also 30 cents lower on the Uber too. 30 cents lower on the Uber. That's the big deal. And I'm actually trying to walk my way out of the gridlock. I'm trying to get where it's opened up a little and an Uber can actually pick me up. Yeah.

So I'm walking and I'm calling Mike and I'm saying, you got to tell the club now there's an issue because they've closed down downtown. And I'm walking. And then Mike does what Mike does. Mike has this incredible thing. When Mike wants something, he can bend time and space and distance too. He'll go walk to the club, take 10 minutes. I go, Mike, it's 1.6 miles from here. I cannot walk it in 10 minutes.

You can walk that in 10 minutes. No, I can't walk. I cannot walk. It's a 1.6 miles is probably about 35 or 40 minute walk. It's 605 now. No, I can't make it with the walk. I know you want that. Sure.

And you say it's an easy fix, but it's not because you can't walk that fast. I've done that with him a bunch of times. It's like it's two miles. We'll make it in 15 minutes. I go, you won't. You can't, Mike. At an Olympic pace maybe? Yes.

Roger Bannister. Plus it's Portland. Like, I don't know what side of the bridge you're on. But if you're on the downtown side of the bridge to get to that club, it's kind of a pain in the ass. I totally concur. plus you've got to walk through Chinatown with all the junkies in there. So now I'm walking and I'm trying to order an Uber, but I'm also trying to extricate myself from any traffic.

So I'm a moving target for Uber now because I'm not in front of the hotel anymore. I'm covering ground. And I'm calling Mike and I'm like, now you've got to tell the club like to stretch. Like, they got to start at like 610 because I don't know where this Uber is. And Mike's like, no one at the club's picking up. No one's getting back to me. Which is, by the way, perfect club. Perfect.

I cannot tell you how many times Mike and I have gone to a theater and the show starts at 8 with no opener. And it's like 755 and we're at the back door of the theater. or like Mike's like pounding on the door. Nobody's opening the door. And then at some point, Mike calls the owner. And the owner's like, oh, are you back there? And I go, yeah, oh, I'll send Chet down there to open it up. And it's like, why isn't Chet standing here in the back of this fucking theater?

It's 757 now. The show's supposed to start at eight. You didn't think like you got to go get Chet up. Hey, Chet, come here. Go out to the, why is that guy just standing there? with a parking cone. Yeah, you'd be surprised how many times you will go to a club and walk in and say, hi, where's the comedy show at?

And they, like a venue, not a club. We go to a venue and they go, which room is the comedy club? And then they go, there's a comedy show here tonight? You're like, how do you not know that there's a show going on? I, the club would not pick up, did not get back to Mike. There's no way he could convey this thing about me. And then, so I'm like, all right. So I finally found an Uber guy that would get me after I'd walked a half mile out of town to get where it broke.

He picked me up. We still had to deal with, you know, the traffic. Got me there right at 631, which is fine. But now I realized Mike could not tell them to delay 10 minutes before the start. And then when I got to the green room, I got to the green room. I got to the green room the emcee had just like walked in like two minutes after me and I'm like wait a minute you just got here

and he's like I thought the show started seven oh so there was no MC and I just got here so thankfully the middle guy was able to stretch and he was good and then they just went and lit him and then I got there. And then I'm like, why did you think the show started at 11 or sorry, seven to the MC? And he's like, well, that was the old guy before he dropped out. And then you took over and then they started sick.

Oh, I see. But they didn't tell me. But I want to say this to everyone and I yell at everyone all the time. You have a phone. They have a website. You can use your phone in 45 seconds. You can check their website. I know they said, you said, Mike August said, our website said, the screen said, you have a phone.

It's on you. You have a phone. You can just look. Even when you are sure, like for gates at an airport, like what gate are we at? What times? Even though I looked at it 20 minutes ago, just in case it gets updated, I don't want to miss this flight. Right. I'm headlining.

I have an itinerary. It's got the showtimes on it. And at some point, during the course of that day, I still went to their website just to make sure that it was that and that wasn't any issue. And I don't, it's sort of like, it's like ways. In the age of ways, like when people show up like, oh, man, traffic. It's like bullshit. Bullshit, you have this thing that'll tell you when you're going to get there. No longer an excuse.

And by the way, I thought the show started at seven. No, no, they have a website. You have a fucking phone. It takes 30 seconds. No more excuses. You were telling the Amber Rose story the other day when you were walking into the bathroom in New York City, and you said, oh, somebody's in the bathroom, and then she walked over and jiggled the handle or knocked on the door.

Which I love. Yeah, because she didn't believe you. And that, you know, when you do that, I get why you do that. When you double check because it is, it's constantly having to deal with people that give you erroneous information, where I feel like maybe most people should just, you know, probably go, I'm dealing with Adam Carolla, the guys who is spot on all the time. Damn it, why do I have to double check that guy? You don't have to. You should be good. Tell me etiquette, and I'll ask all our famous comedians here. We have Chuck over there.

He's a celebrated comedian. We have Andrew. World famous. Celebrated as well. They know him at Fourth Wall very well, all these guys. So I have said, you guys tell me this. And then it brings us to a, larger cultural issue. I have said that the green room at Portland's helium is very small. So it's a notoriously small green room. And the bathroom is actually as big as the green room. And people go, why is the bathroom so big and the green room so small? They're in the same room, same footprint, if you were making that for yourself, you would make the bathroom one-third the size

it is, thus giving you a larger green room because it's a tiny green room and it's right off the stage. It's fine. They're very nice over there and everything. The answer to that is there is a code for the bathroom and it's a handicap code and that's why they need all the egress and regress and space for the bathroom. There is no green room code. you know, comedians must be comfortable. Everyone to be sued for their sofa, by the way, if there was some code, some health code in green room. So the green room, so the inspector comes in and goes,

we need this much room and this much space for a wheelchair and this and that. So the bathroom is unusually large, and that then gets into the green room. So the green room is miniature. Sure. right so the green room has a little love seat and it's a little sofa it's enough for two people but really just one and then in front's a little table and i got some note cards and my backpack and whatever in there and then i go on stage and i do my set good show three sold out shows great audience

Everything was fine. And after the late show, the late show was like 8.30, I walk off stage. And the way helium is, is you just walk off stage through a curtain and you're in the green room. And I walk into the green room and there was a very large comedian of color sitting on the sofa with his girlfriend. It was a little bit large and seemed just sort of out of it. Yeah. She sort of leaned over on him. I was taking a nap or something.

Weird. And then I walked off stage and walked back there, and they both were just kind of looking at me. And I was like, oh, how are you doing? They're like, oh, how are you doing the, we're doing the late show, which is like in 40 minutes or something like that. I go, oh, okay, well, I'm just going to pour myself a drink and then I got to go out and meet and greet. And they're like, okay. and they're just sitting there. And I'm like, I was just standing for an hour and 10 minutes.

Theoretically, I might want to come back and sit down and pour a drink and decompress for five minutes and then go out and whatever. But they weren't budging. And they were just looking at me the whole time. And the guy was as big as a house. And she was like, they took up the whole, there was no place else to sit. Wondering why it is you're impeding on their space. I just walked off stage. And so they didn't do any kind of like,

Hey, we'll go to the bar for 10 minutes. And again, and then I would have went probably. No, no, no, don't worry about it. I'm just a poor drink and go out there. But they didn't stand up. They didn't budge. They just were looking at me the whole time. And I was like, so you're doing the late show?

Like, yep. Like, okay, well, I'm going to. And I was like trying to get around them and stuff. Like, I've got to get my backpack and my stuff. I didn't know anyone's going to be in here, sunglasses and whatever. But they were just kind of staring at me the whole time. They were young, which is part of it. So then I was like, all right, well, I'm going to get a drink and then go sign.

They're like, okay. Now, listen, I think that breaks green room etiquette. When the headliner comes offstage and you're sitting, you and your girlfriend, by the way, just monopolizing the sofa. Yeah. And I got to stand and pour my drink and whatever. But I also realize in weeks, have done a cultural thing where we made black people into like endangered species and it's like

you're going to fuck with me. I don't see, I don't say it's a spoken thing. People just react the way they're sort of conditioned to react. Like if I go, if I went and complained to the management about this guy would be a hate crime. Sure. So I can't really do it. And I wouldn't do it anyway, whatever color the guy was.

but it gives them a little incentive not to get up. And by the way, the reverse also works as well. D.L. Hugley was doing a set, and Chuck's big ass was taking up the sofa. Chuck would have to stand up and clear out. Otherwise, that would be a hate crime against D.L. No movement. Just him and his girlfriend just sitting there the whole time.

She didn't even look up. And there was no, not even an attempt of, like I said, just stood for an hour and 10 minutes. Maybe I want to come down, take a load off. Yeah. And then no tip. And by the way, they're not doing anything for 45 minutes. Just had this conversation the other day about this.

Green rooms are for headliners. Headliners only. If you are somebody who is a local and you are the local MCU with a local feature, you are not allowed to go into the green room unless the headliner gives you permission to come in. If you are traveling with the headliner, different. When you and I go on the road, you're more than great. gracious, you let me in there. But there's a couple of clubs that we have done. And I believe the two

that we're doing this weekend, Oklahoma City and Tulsa, they have a rule for their, their locals, that you are not allowed to go into the green room. As soon as the headliner gets there, you walk in, you ask them what they want for an intro, and then you leave the green room immediately. If they offer you a spot in the green room, you're more than welcome to take it, but we don't allow those guys to go in there because that's their space. That's where you should be able to just hang out. And it's sort of, it's like, it was black and white for a long, time and now it's sort of gray. Well, I'm going to be doing the next show in 40 minutes. So this is kind of my room now. No, it's not. Not until the headliner gets his stuff and moves out.

I think it's a combination of there's no hierarchy anymore. There's no reverence. There's no age related anything. It's all just everyone's the same, which is something we've been pushing for a long time. Meets, sort of old white guys who have money are kind of the enemy. Meets, I'm black. So you kind have to leave me alone. Otherwise, it might be a situation. And you take that and it makes a perfect storm of me and my girlfriend aren't leaving this sofa. Also, we already got her to sit. She can't stand back up. This is it, man. She's funny. She wasn't, he was a big dude who was taking up a lot of space. She was like medium size, but sort of like half flopped over on him. She wasn't even really never looked up or anything. And neither one seemed to care that I just walked up to the stuff.

stage. So I don't like it. It's also for, I would say also the club has to kind of police that stuff, which doesn't really happen anymore. It's not, there's not really a hierarchy or policing or any of that stuff anymore. They barely police the room, the actual room that you were doing stand-in and they barely police that nowadays, let alone that, let alone the green room. Right. They probably should have had the world's biggest comedian and the laziest girlfriend. When they were walking in, probably should have said, hold up, he's going to get off stage in 10 minutes, let him get his shit together. You know, go have a seat at the bar. And then when he goes out to do the meet and greet, maybe you can come in and sit down then or something. Not just go ahead and flop out. He'll be here.

The guy, after I went and did the meet and greet, came back, no one had moved. Oh, by the way, it hadn't moved. They've added three more people to the room. So now it was really packed while I was trying to get my backpack together and get the hell out of there. Going over your buckslips. The guy was a big windy city heat fan. Oh, good. I did get that out of them.

Now, people go, who cares? I'm telling you it's emblematic. It's all part of the general breakdown. This, what we're talking about here is not so different than middle-aged white women screaming at cops. Fuck yourself. I hope you die, you pig. You know, I hope your family dies. It's like that, there's a connection here.

It's a breakdown of sort of order. And the order can be, we're going to light a cop car on fire, but it can also just be a general etiquette. Yeah. Like, it's sort of like when you see those great videos of the chick who's in the back of the plane when they land trying to push past everyone to get to the front and she's yelling at everyone, mind your business. That's a general breakdown of order. Yeah, it happened to me nine hours ago in Las Vegas getting off my flight.

Really? 12.30 in the morning, I'm row C or whatever, excuse me, row four, seat C. I buy that seat closer to the front because it's late and I want to get off that flight and I want to get home and I want to get a couple of hours before I sleep before I have to come to Los Angeles I wake up from my sleep on the plane wake up all right time to get off the plane

I try to go in the aisle three dudes come flying up the aisle from way in the back come flying up and they're standing right where not only am I trying to get out I get it able-bodied guy but you're going to Las Vegas you get a lot of the elderly crew with the canes They've got the oxygen tanks.

They've probably got to be waiting for a wheelchair. You're standing in the aisle where these people are trying to get out and not even budging, not even moving going, oh, you know what, sorry, I'm in your way. Let me back up a little bit. They're standing at row one and waiting to get off the plane and not caring that other people are around them trying to get into their. That's their space. Why are you there? Go back to, that's why you sit in the back.

General breakdown of society. Absolutely. But it's also applauded by the politicians who are constantly explaining, like, that guy's no better than you. Like, okay, all right, but he bought a first class ticket or Coach Plus or whatever. So he paid more. Okay. Yeah. All right.

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No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. All right, so, protocol, green rooms. I'm glad we got that straightened out. Because, I don't know. I got to tell you. I was always less than the man. I was always kind of a peon.

In my former life, I was like, you know, I never had a rank or I never had a designation or a plaque or certificate. Or I didn't have any doctor in front of my name or certified anything. Captain dipshit was about his time. I got up the wrong cell. Right. Yeah, that was kind of me too. Like I was, my family had no, you know, my family's just kind of, you know, free for all, free range, every man for themselves. And so there wasn't a lot of like titles and degrees and things like that.

And then I, then I, and so people, when I was coming up, you, you kind of respected people. there was one of two things or both. It was either that guy's rich or that guy's a professor. And both were good. And then if you were a rich professor, it was doubly good. And you got a lot of like, that guy drives a Mercedes-Benz, okay? And he lives on the hill. He's got patches on his elbows on his cardigan.

That's right. Yeah. He said indubitably the other day. His Monaco. All right. He has his own golf club. He's allowed to bring glasses outside by the pool. He doesn't have to put him in a paper cup.

Oh, my God. So there was a lot of that. And then at some point, I became rich and people knew who I was and it meant nothing to anybody ever around me. Yeah. And I was like, I thought I was supposed to get this stuff. But it's kind of like. There was a time where you go, like he would talk to guys and go, yeah, my dad would go into Manhattan with his, you know, country club buddies. And he'd have himself a few martinis.

And if he ever got pulled over on the way back to Long Island, he'd just give the guy a hundred bucks with his driver's license and keep, like you could bribe people, rich people, got stuff. By the way, you weren't the enemy like you are now. Yeah. You actually got stuff for it. Yeah. And so then I ended up getting designations, but then I realized nobody cared. And then I also realize that young people do not grow up anymore with any rank or hierarchy or anything. It's all just, everyone's just wearing cargo shorts from old names.

maybe. Yeah. And nobody gives a fuck. Yeah. And it doesn't, it doesn't really matter. And then so you start having conversations with people where, like, remember when Byron worked here, I was like, Byron, why don't you park your car out on the street? Because we need room for whatever celebrity's coming in.

And he's like, yeah, I don't want to do that. I'm like, why not? I have anxiety about it. I go, well, just go, I park my car on the street half the time. No, I have anxiety about that, so I can do that. It feels weird. I didn't know that was even a thing. No, I've worked behind these scenes now for almost four and a half, close to five years.

There's people here who have worked for nine months that are full-time. I'm not a full-time employee of Corolla Digital. I don't park in the parking lot here. I park on the street because I feel like the guys that are, because I'm only here for a few hours every day, the guys that are here for the, you know, seven to nine hours a day, those guys should be able to be the ones that park in the parking lot. It was, well, you're magnanimous and you understand hierarchy. And it was also a funny thing. It was a thing where he parked once on the back street here, which I don't recommend.

No, of course not. And they stole his license plate. So that's his reason. for not parking anywhere other than here. Expired tabs and all, wow. So I said, well, it was funny because I always love how this works. That turned into he got his car broken into, which I kept saying, no, no, his license plate was stolen.

But he did not get his car broken into, but that kept going back to that story. My grandmother's ashes were in there. Right. So. Dad's pocket watch. I would say to him, I'm not telling you to park on the back street. I'm saying just park on the front street where it's busy and there's lots of traffic and no one's going to steal your license plate. And he's like, got anxiety about that.

And I was like, my car is parked outside in the parking lot up the street. And he goes, that's in a parking lot. And I go, I know, but there's no fence or anything. It's just parked next to the sidewalk in a parking lot. That's in a parking lot. I go first off, you can walk up to my car and steal the license plate. There's nothing about it. Sure.

There's no gate. There's no fence. There's no anything. It's just parked in the open. It's like, no. But what I'm saying is, is I never thought I'd be having these conversations. Yeah. That's all.

Yeah. But also, to be fair to him, he doesn't care because he doesn't recognize any hierarchy. But it's not good for him to not recognize that. Yeah. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what your kids' dating situations are, but the first time when your daughter ever brings a boy home and he just calls you by his first name or by your first name or he doesn't even know what your name is. And he just goes, hey, you know, hey Ruth's dad.

No, no, no. First off, it's Mr. Pavich or it's you can address me by my name, but ask if you can address me by my name. Yeah, I think we let this stuff go. And we decided that, you know, guys, fathers start calling their son, buddy. That's my best friend. And, you know, like they were like coworkers or colleagues, not father, son. And we kind of lost the relationship between boss and worker. We're now just teammates or something all together in the same place.

And we definitely lost it with cops. the way people talk to cops now, they're fucking dumping buckets of water on their head and shit. Like it is completely gone. Teachers, just really any authority. I mean, when you see some of those people and they're dealing with ice and they're like pushing on the van

and punching the van and stuff like that, I mean, the guy, Peretti, the guy got shot by the ice guys. There's footage of him from a, week earlier just kicking the head, the tail light off of the, by the way, you know, it's funny, all they talk about is unmarked vans. In every incident, there's never an unmarked van. Yeah, you're right. Where are all the unmarked vans? Paredi didn't kick an unmarked van. He kicked a suburban or an SUV or whatever. Yeah. But that kind of behavior got him killed.

And it gets people killed. And it gets, you know, it's like, the internet is filled with cop cameras, body cams, saying to the black chick in the car, you either get out of the car or I'm going to break the window, I'm going to pull you out of the car, and I'm going to arrest you. And I go, you do your best. And the guy goes, okay. And he just breaks the window and then she yells what's going on. But people are getting shot and killed because of this hierarchy problem.

Yeah, I was walking towards, I was in Vegas the other day. By the way, the people shot in Minnesota, both of them are dead because they did not recognize hierarchy. Yeah. And you go, well, does anyone deserve to get, nobody deserves anything. It's just shit happened. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, here it is.

That's him spitting on the car. He's just a good nurse. He's a good nurse. Yeah. Now, he's lucky to get shot there, but he's a fucking animal. All right. So here's my whole point. There's a way to avoid getting shot, everybody.

There is a way, and there's a way to succeed at work. But it's not a road that people choose. If you're ever out walking around, and especially for guys my size, five foot six and below, when somebody says, hey, man, you want a piece of me? I'm always the first one to go, no, I do not. I am outnumbered here. I'm outside. You can find somebody else to take a piece of. I'm walking away.

There's a way to not wrestle with cops. I made it my whole life never put my hands on a cop. No. Because it's a problem. But we've convinced people that it's okay to do this. And it does not help them. So when you are a politician and you're preaching, to your constituency that this is what you need to do, you're getting them killed.

Yeah. When you're up there screaming about fight and push back and stand up, look, it doesn't mean they're going to get killed. It means you're putting them in a position where it's possible for them to get killed. Yeah. And it might not be today, but they're going to compound this sort of mentality. Right. And I don't know what you mean by stand up to these people and fight against them. if you're not talking about standing up.

That's what he was doing. Peretti was standing up and he was fighting against them and now he's dead. But Adam, he doesn't deserve. Yeah, yeah, I know. Of course. But he stood up and he fought. And you're standing up and fighting guys with guns,

which is never a good plan, especially if you don't have a gun, although he had a gun. But I'm saying it's one thing to stand up. Like I have been in street fights but I've never been in a street fight where a guy had a gun and it didn't slow my role. Sure.

The gun should slow you down. Yeah. And then you go, these guys should know better. And it's like they should, but they're human beings. And they got a gun and you don't. Yeah. And they got concussed a couple times playing high school ball. And maybe they're having a bad day.

Yeah. But here's the thing. They got a gun. And the guy who has the gun, if there's a 2% chance you could harm him with a spork and he's got a gun, guess who's getting a bullet? Because that's how guys with guns work. Yeah. That's how it worked.

The guy with the gun and the guy who writes the checks. Those are the two people that should probably be the ones that you listen to. Yeah. All right. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Mint. People need to hear that Mint Mobile plans are only $15 per month.

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Speed slower than above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plans. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. Seamint Mobile for details. All right. So authority, hierarchy, reverence, these are all things. And us teaching young people, you don't have to listen to him. Don't you let anyone talk to you that way. You have to balance some sort of work-life experience or something like that.

You need to balance that shit in your 50s after you got established, not in your 20s or 30s. And you're 20s and thirds, you need to bust your hump and fucking get ordered around and do everything. Yeah. There's also people that look at, it's not even so much like the age difference or the guy with the gun or the guy with the badge that you need to listen to. Sometimes people just take it upon themselves because you remember as a kid, other parents would just step in and do the parenting. They erased the hierarchy back then too a little bit. They do it a lot now, especially with family members. Family members will take it upon themselves to yell at either the niece or the niece or,

the nephew of somebody. And you can go, hey, you can just go ahead and talk to the parent about that. You don't need to step in and say anything. I feel like they've erased that hierarchy as well. You know, when a grandmother says, it's okay if they have the cookie. Just let him have the cookie. And you go, well, no, I told him you can't have the damn cookie. Why are you?

Now he looks at me like, I don't have any authority at all. When you tell him it's okay to do the thing I told him not to do. Yeah, in general, there's also, you know, New York is wanting to replace mom and dad with gestating and non. gestating person or something. Well, yeah, but also understand that when you start breaking down the language, things start breaking down. So it's like our unhoused neighbors, you know, and things of that nature that illegal aliens

or undocumented citizens or workers or something. Mom and dad. So mom and dad gestating and non-gestating people. The idea that you break it all down, now there is no hierarchy. Yeah. There's no, you know, there's no boss and employee. We're all team members. Well, if we're all team members, then why should I listen to that guy?

Yeah. Big difference between Jordan and Kerr on those Bulls teams, you know, big difference. Teammates, but big difference. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it's not. So the whole idea about the attack on the language is to break it all down.

And when you break it all down, you know, there's a reason why there's lieutenants and colonels and generals and brigadier generals and four-star generals. Like, it's very carved out. This is where you start. You know, on the construction site, you were just called a goomper when I started. Like, they just made fun of you because you're a low man on the totem pole, you know, and you're just labor, the goomper. And then, you know, you could be an apprentice and then maybe you'd work your way up to carpenter. And then you could be a journeyman, you know, or whatever that thing was.

We had a bunch of labels. We gave those labels out and they were there for a reason. Not because everybody was on the exact same par as everyone else on every job site. Like, we knew who everyone was. Sure. And we didn't say we're all team members because those guys were labors and you were a carpenter. And no, we weren't on the same team. You got paid twice as much and you had a skill.

Those guys just moved drywall around and dig ditches. So need to kind of get back to that because the guy circling back and his girlfriend that were planted on my sofa in the green room, I'm old, I'm rich. already got, I already made. Yeah. Made it. These guys aren't going to make it because of that. Because they have an issue with hierarchy and authority because they won't. There's a lot of like, you know, would never existed when I was younger.

It's like, that's not my job. Like I'm not going to do that. Yeah. Like Jimmy, when he was 26 and he worked for K.Rock, his job was every job. Anything. Absolutely. Anything someone didn't want to do. that's what they that's what he did.

But it served him. Sure, absolutely. Yeah. And he was a guy who could pull it off. There's a lot of people who can't. And it just reminds me of a story that T.J. Miller, comedian T.J. Miller told about being on set one day. And he was dealing with somebody who was new in the business. She was young. And getting a little bit of an attitude, they had been on set for at that time, maybe 14, 16 hours. She was getting a little pissy with people and started kind of taking it out on some of the crew, some of the other actors, and TJ basically said, I already know my place in this business. I'm a guy who's made it. I'm successful. We don't know where you're going to be.

Right. But I can tell you where you're not going to end up, is you're not going to end up where I am with an attitude like that. So park it. And everybody's here doing the same thing. Shut your mouth. And it made me perfect sense. My favorite T.J. Miller's story was my sister carrying on the legacy. of Helen Goroa and Chris Carolla. Because they'd pass. Yes. So they weren't able to carry on their legacy. But when T.J. Miller slopped praise upon me in a green room with my sister present. It just told me how it inspired him and opened doors for him and made him want to do comedy and blah, blah, blah.

And I said, wow, it's a nice thing anyone's ever said to me, T.J. But my sister overheard it. and my grandma and my mom are dead so they weren't able to intervene much like the Jedi behind him and the ghost forum stay like come on get in there so my sister had to pick up the torch probably thinking about Helen and Chris being gone and I talked to her a week later and she goes what was that whole t-j business about oh my god and I go what do you mean he goes come on give me a break. I go, what was it?

He was laying it on thick. I go, I think he feels that. I think he feels that way. What do you want? I don't think he wants anything. I think he just feels that way. Come on. Give me a break.

And I was like, I was arguing for his sincerity. And then I started thinking about it. I was like, oh, that's what I would have done if my mom was there to see it. I would have had to argue against for T.J. Miller, his praise. of me. And it's a weird, it's always weird about the familial stuff because I don't think the kids know what they're doing. They just do it.

And I guess you'd have to go, hmm, what am I doing with my kids or whomever that is a, is a residue from, from a bygone era? Like what did my, what, what is it that they did, like, what, what is it that they did, like, I, you know, that isn't a trait that I don't, I think my sister wants to possess. Sure. But she's a Corolla and it got kind of, it's in the water. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So then you have to kind of go, well, what is it that you're doing when you're talking to your kids or whomever that's like the sound of your dad or your mom that you don't want to pass on? Yeah. You really do have to, especially families that grew up with a very tumultuous home life. If you and your parents and your siblings yelled a lot, when you have kids, be cognizant enough to not yell in the house. Keep it down a little bit. You don't have to be Mike Brady every single situation and sit down and be like, well, I know you made a mistake, son.

You can raise your voice every now and again, but not to a point where it angers and upsets everybody and they cry and go, why did mom become unhinged? Right. Why did, because your children should never ever see you do that nonsense, ever. I say the scariest thing for a kid to see is when the parent is, like, out of control. Yeah. Like spinning out.

I don't mean angry or yelling. I just mean, like, losing it. Sure. That's the scariest. That's like, it's like basically the scariest thing you could have a pilot do is not yell at a stewardess, but to go, oh, my God, what are we doing here? I don't even know where I am anymore. What if that's going on to humanity? Like, that's scary to be in the house.

And I sort of, that's how my mom kind of was. Punching holes in walls. And maybe not Chris Carolla, but my family was punching holes and walls. No, that's the old thing is they weren't even raising their voice. They were just like, I don't know how to control any part of my life. There's like, I want bacon. I don't know how to get bacon. I'm seven.

Sorry. I don't know how to. Get stuff or do things. I can't do anything. Do you have bacon money? Go get a paper. I don't have money. I don't have money and I don't have bacon.

Well, I don't have money and I don't have bacon either, but I'm 42. So good luck with your money and your bacon, Brown. But I don't know why you're asking me because I can't do anything. I don't know how to do anything. And I'm unable to do anything. Or I will choose not to do anything. But either way, no bacon. Yeah, I just told this story to my girlfriend the other day.

I got in trouble at school and got suspended for two days. And when I came home, my stepdad lost it, lost his mind. He was very not a part of our life. You know, he was there physically, but he never came to sporting events or anything like that. He was so angry. He literally took the hat off of my head. I'll never forget. It was an Orlando Magic hat.

And he took, he went into the kitchen and he grabbed a knife, like a big sort of like vegetable chopping knife. And he shoved it through the center of the house. and he pulled it out and the whole hat split in two and then he threw it back at me. And I don't remember what it is I got suspended for, but I will never forget him tearing my hat up with a knife. You know what's weird? I have some sort of weird gene where like I don't care about stuff that much. I'm detuned a lot. I'm very this one.

I came home once. My sister was trying to move a Lamborghini mirror. It's like a $5 million car now, but whatever, the thing slid up and popped up and put a big, fucked it up. That's super expensive car. And I was just like, that's not your fault. Like, I didn't really have a reaction to it because my reaction is like, well, we should get a fixed. But anyway, my kids with stuff, it just, I don't know. I never felt like I needed to react.

Like, I can't imagine, first of your stepson. secondly the energy for whatever it is your hat yeah it's all weird to me it all felt it all felt it all felt weird to me and and every I never had anything with my kids where I was like you know my daughter was a real pain in the ass and sometimes she would get to some saturation level where I just go you're not you're not my parent shut up just shut up You're not here to boss me around. I don't know why you think you're supposed to be bossed me around, but you're not. And of course, she'd go nuts if I just acted like a fucking dad.

Of course, her stupid mom would agree with her and then fuck it all up because I couldn't get anything done because her mom was always agreeing with her, which when you undermine that authority, it gets all fucked up. But I never even had a discussion with my son that was even louder than room tone talking voice. And my life, by the way, people go, you've never had an argument with your son. I go, no. They go, you've never had an argument in your son. I go, no. Just turn 20.

Is that that's because he kisses your ass? I go, no, no, because he's normal. He's fucking things like me and he's rational. And they're never an argument with me and a rational person. Now, a 13-year-old that's trying to dictate COVID protocol at the house I pay for and doesn't want to let me in the house without taking on my shoes off first, then I do have an issue with that person. So now I have an argument with that person. My son has never been that person for anything ever. So, no, there are no arguments ever.

So Mr. Domineering, headstrong dad never has an argument with his son, ever about anything and never will. Because he's normal. He's a rational person. And usually people like that can, they know what real problems are. Not fake problems that people just make up because they have no problems. They know what real problems are and these are not problems. So why are we arguing about them? Yes.

If you don't get along with me, something's wrong with you. Yeah. If you do get along with me, you're just normal. Super convenient way looking at it. But that's how it is. Yeah. He's the most normal person I've ever met. And he's my son.

and we've never had an argument. Yeah. It'll say that way too. That's the best part about it. Yeah. It'll never change. Nope. But the ones who argue,

that doesn't change either. Yeah. If you have to do this consistently with people all the time, enjoy the times when it is good between the two of you because eventually it will go right back to where it was before.

You guys hating each other and arguing and getting angry. And it's just, it's cyclical and it just keeps happening over and over and over again. And at some point, you do just have to pull the plug and go, I'm sorry,

I can't keep doing this with you. By the way, my daughter's great now because she changed. Yeah. Then she joined me and Sonny in the rational world. And now we get along great. Everybody's great. All right. Friday.

That's this Friday. That is Oklahoma City. We're going to be there. Bricktown. Comedy Club, OKC. And then we're heading to Tulsa, Bricktown. That'll be Saturday, two shows. Two shows Friday.

Two shows Saturday. And then Saturday, following Saturday, heading to Santa Ana, Jordan Class Car Museum, going to be there with the cars, K-Rock, everything else, just go to Amcrow.com for all the live shows. And then Andrews coming to Carson City, Nevada. That'll be on the 27th. Going to beat the nugget. Ooh, ooh. Oh. At first, I didn't think it was real.

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