The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #1205 I Will Respect Your Feelings, But Not Your Failings

Episode Date: August 13, 2026

Dec 12, 2019Adam, Drew and Mike Lynch are back together once again and the open the show continuing a conversation from yesterday about the trans community and some recent activism from Chelsea Clinton on the topic. The conversation then turns to the idea of Oikophobia and how prominent it has been throughout the course of history, with Adam having witnessed it firsthand.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, in Throwback Episode number two, episode 1205, I will respect your feelings, but not your failings. And that's from December 12, 2019. Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Carolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew's show. Yeah, get on. Got to get on. I got to get on. I'm Ann Crow.

That's Dr. O' there. Dr. Hughes, Board said five, for this. So it's special. Mike Lynch is hanging with us in studio. Thanks for having me. Drew's taking a wizzaroonie. Yeah, let's talk crap about him while he's out of the room. Well, if he was taking a crap, we could talk more crap, but I should be shaking the dew off his

Lily about now. And he's back in, everyone. Mike is can be found at MC-N-E.com. Men's Center, New England. People ask me all the time. Hmm. Why they ask you, Adam? I say, Adam.

You got sold three docs to Netflix. You got another no safe spaces in the theater going on. You just shot a comedy special. You got a book manuscript due at the end of the year. I think roller skates keep up with you. They say, how do you do it? I say, I put good people around me who I know can do a job, and then I communicate quickly with them,

and then I send them off, and then I communicate quickly with them again, and then I send them off again. That's where my clinch comes in. I get that. I find those people. He finds those people. How do you explain our relationship?

Yeah. The point is this. There's certain burdens. You also have to be able to do work in the car, on the road, different places, different spaces. Well, that is something you've not talked about the last couple of days. We've been talking about getting stuff done. I think Shelby's sort of inspired that. But dual-tasking, multitasking is an important piece in it.

Yes. And also, I don't know, your time should be precious, but not that precious in that, oh, it's the weekend, or I don't want to do this. I use that time to whatever. It's like, hey, you're in your car. You're there for 40 minutes. Fucking dictate a book or do something. Get something done. You don't need to decompress all the time.

And decompression happens, you know, when you go to bed at night. I'm not telling you to give your book. It's like sleep. Quality is better than quantity. You know, a good pool dunk, such as I did this morning at your place, gives you more than that other time that you could be spending. Mm-hmm. What?

You did the pool thing? I did the pool thing. Yeah. They did the pool thing. It was very courageous. Huh. Chelsea Clinton, as of last show, since 2013, more than 150 trans people have been murdered in the U.S., a majority, black transgendered women on transgender remember day, hashtag something.

We remember and honor the lives loss. hold their loved ones in our hearts and must commit to doing all we can to end this epidemic of violence and hate. I don't know that I would call that an epidemic. Well, percentage-wise, that's a ridiculous number, right? Compared to how many, what is it, 0.06, transgendered, and then half of that, 0.03%. How many people are transgendered? Yeah, it feels like about seven.

70% of the population, 70, 80% feels like. I don't know if it's less, maybe less than 50% these days. You're watching too much bravo. I'm watching too much bravo. Feels like a lot of transgender. No, you got, but also, you have 150 of how many is the question. You've got to take 150 and spread it out over six years. Yes, all that's six years.

Are 17 years. Huh? Oh, 13. I'm sorry, I said, 2003. Yeah, it's seven years or whatever, whatever it is. then that number, now you're bringing that number down to 23 a year or whatever it is, 22 a year. Still 22, too many, Drew.

Yeah. As I've, my grandpappy used to say. Yeah. But not sure if you want to call an epidemic. But either way, she's a hero. I don't know if you knew Chelsea Hint Clinton was this much into the trans community. Did you know that? I did not know that, but now I know.

I heard nothing about the trans community from her before April of this year. She's a 40-year-old woman, so maybe there's something. She just woke. She just woke up. I'm trying to get that number. Oh, 1.4 million adults? No. How many in the trans community?

But also, here's a new thing with statistics or the way I look at statistics. Are you ready? Also, they have a devastating epidemic of HIV in black transgender females. Wow. That's interesting. That's caused. Who shall we blame for that? But here's another, here's a thing.

If you're going to start doing statistics with me and you're going to do like, you're going to do like gun related deaths or gun deaths or whatever and you start including suicide in that, then I'm off. I want to know how many people were killed by a gun, not how many people put a gun in their mouth because people, uh, people jump off of bridges as, uh, Mike is aware of people, people jumping, people hang themselves as I'm aware. Uh, I mean, there's a lot of ways to kill yourself. I'm not really going to count that as a gun statistic. It's, it's easier. I, but I don't, I'm not going to count that as a murder with a gun. Not, yeah, not as a murder, but if, if your, if your

beef is with access to guns, because statistically men commit suicide at a hundred. higher rate. A lot of that is because access to lethal means at at the ready. I always said, and I think what people think I'm kidding. I said, cops kill themselves at alarmingly high rate. They have a gun on them. I don't know if it's current statistic, but I heard, I believe Montana had the highest per capita suicide rate by gun because everybody's a hunter. They all had them. If I had a gun on me, you know how many times I would have killed myself by now, Drew? It'd been dozens and dozens of times. Like, if I had just a gun on me? I'll kill myself hundreds of times by now, maybe thousands.

Probably like 1,300 times. I might kill myself twice in one day. I'm not kidding. I understand. Like having a 17-year-old Adam or an atom or 24-year-old Adam with a gun? Been a scary. We're certainly going to kill Ray or Chris. 0.6% of the trans are trans.

1.3 million adults. Other studies have suggested as high as 3%. It can't be. Can it be three percent? No. That study, just do with this what you will. That study was done by Glad. Oh, okay.

They've just declared everyone. So it's, it's, I thought it's 0.06%, no? I don't know. Not what it says here. 0.6%. So half of those, half of those are female, right? I have no idea what's going on anymore. I don't even know who's female.

Like, I can't, this whole thing where people like toggle back and forth all over the place and then they do that story where like he is transgendered. He is named Becky Sue. No, he was named Becky Sue. Then he became Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. And then, and now, all right, he, we started living. Bobby started, Becky started living as Bobby in 1997, but didn't transition until, I'm like, I don't know where the fuck we are.

I don't know what to call. I'm so confused. I can't go back and forth that many times. I have a weird thing. I can do numbers, great, car models. I got it. I can convert many things to metric. I can do CCs and a car engine versus cubic inches and things like that.

Once they toggle back and forth about Ray became Raylene but didn't do the surgery, but began that. estrogen treatment or whatever. Once you go back and forth three or four times, I'm lost. And then I'm scared to say, did she, wait, was he, she, does she have kids or her, I mean, is his, does he, did he give birth? Did he have, did he get a C-section? Did he have an api-a-a-a-a-my? Just ask about the scar.

Don't go so far. Hey, bud. Hey, bro. Did you have an api-a-a-a-a-a-section, dude? Well, and when there's adjoining mental health issues or trauma, it becomes very complex. I had a client who was Michael, decided to become Jennifer, but then came out as schizophrenic later. And so I'm glad nothing was removed or no hormones were started. Well, that's a conversation that's foreboden.

Can't discuss the mental part about wanting to become another gender, like that there may be some baggage. connected to that. Could be some trauma. Could be some, well, in a world where almost everyone has something going on, can we agree that this community may have something going on as well and that shall be addressed? But no, no, no, let's not go down there. You will end up out in the cornfield. I like the way a lot of the advocates are like gender is a bi, the transgender is a biological proclivity. Gender itself, never, never biology. So the only people that are actually consistent with their biological gender is transgender. Well, it's very interesting. That's what they say. Gender is purely social construct, unless you're transgender, then you're brain. Well, it's funny.

I've always talked about the control the language, control, the narrative, control, the argument, control the outcome, control everything, start shutting people up, blah, blah, blah. And I've always discussed all the switching of the words and discussion, but Prager has always drilled down on something that didn't mean anything to me four years ago, but now it's starting to. They used to say sex, the sex of the babies. Is it a male or female? What is the sex? Gender was not really used that much.

It was the sex. And sometimes, I guess, gender could be used for a dog. Like you have a puppy. What's the gender? dog or whatever. But they would say, when they talk about humans, they go, what is the sex of the baby? What is the sex of the deceased? You know, what's the sex of the criminal or whatever they're trying to do? They go, what is the sex? And sex is hard to move around. It's pretty much male, female. So what they started doing is they started pulling sex out and replacing it with gender. It's like,

what is the gender of the suspect or the gender of the baby or the gender, whatever? Then gender became malleable. So what first thing we do is we replace sex, we fill it with gender. Now we have gender where sex was and now there's no longer two sex. Because we're not talking about sex. Talk about gender. And now the world is our fucking oyster. We can start fucking with it. But first thing we need to do is get people to stop saying sex, start saying gender. And then once they start saying gender, now we're going to come in and we're going to go ahead and change what gender means. as it pertains to sex, although there's still just two sexes. Yes.

Sort of. What is the third? Well, it's X, X, X, Y, Y, and X, O, and all these intersex types. But what percentage of people are that? 0.03, I think it is. It's a very tiny number. All right. So I'm going to throw out that group and just announce that there's two.

How dare you. They're two sexes. Anytime we get under less than one. And then people get confused about ambiguous genitalia, which is not a genetic problem. It's just a phenotypic expression of X, X and X, Y that doesn't get fully expressed. Right. People want to go, they shouldn't have their gender, their penis, or they shouldn't have their genitalia assigned. No, we check the genetics and then you finish what nature didn't quite finish.

Yeah. But people object to that. Yeah, I'll tell you, I think what's going on is as far as I, as I, I can tell with the whole sort of glad movement is they're kind of going, they're starting to stray into PETA area, which is out of the major issues. And now we're getting into cockroaches and you being Hitler. Yeah. Because more the...

I got something for you. Gay marriage is, I don't know, I don't know what percentage of the country it's legal in, but as long as gay marriage was illegal, then that became the thing to fix. And once that essentially got fixed or at least emotionally got fixed in the hearts and minds of most politicians or most Americans are just sort of like, yeah, we've moved on. They've now moved on to this trans world, which was never even brought up a few years ago. Yes, true.

So I heard a historian speaking about something called oikophobia, which is, is essentially a fear and hatred of your home surroundings, meaning your country of origin. How would you spell that? O-I-K-O-P-H-O-B-I-A, O-K-O-O-O-O-O-O-2, phobia. And it turns out that throughout human history, particularly the more egalitarian the society, once it overcomes its existential wars, in our case like World, World, II, Civil War, then it starts turning in on itself. every single society that is egalitarian will start to cultivate people that hate it.

Interesting. And lay all the problems of the world at the feet of the, in this case, Westernism, Western society. And so anything that's marginalized, anything that's not been dealt with in exactly egalitarian ways, is paramount in this oikophobic priority. I feel it on a daily basis. And one of the guys I heard talking about it was Swedish. And the interviewer went, well, certainly you don't do that. in Sweden. We idealize Sweden. He goes, oh, no, no, we do it there. If you're from Sweden, absolutely. You hate it. It's a egalitarian society. You turn on yourself. And it's something

about all through human history this has been going on. Do your spot and I'll give you some thoughts. I will say this. Oiko sounds like the biggest manufacturer of yarmacas in the western hemisphere, right? Who you work for? Oiko. Oh, you work for big yarmaca. That's Oiko-Ve. Oikoube. Well, it's just, okay. Come on, Drew, you're screwing the job. Oiko, you have to end it with Co. I get it.

You could do worse. Than WICO. Do worse than Iko. Hello, and welcome to Pluto fo. If you knew the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. Where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy.

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This oikofobia. Oeveco. How about that? No, what do we call it? Oikophobia. I've seen this. I've been watching this. Your mom was part of it.

Your mom was... My mom and my grandma were very much part of it. Yeah. And my dad, to a degree, but, like, people just living well, no, not worried about wars or famine or starvation or anything, just never stopped sort of beating up on this government and all the... You know, it's awesome. It's like, my grandmother, bitch and peace. My grandmother had a lot of fucking huevo. for a chick because she lived and was married to a man who escaped the Holocaust.

He escaped Hungary as the Nazis were coming in and occupying and they're rounding up Jews. And at a certain point in Hungary it just became like open season on Jews. Like take them to the river and start shooting them. She lived in a country that fucking liberated Europe. and all she did was talk about the glories of Europe and how how bad we were and, you know, this, oh, Gerald Ford, oh, John Wayne, what we've done, blah, blah, blah. And she was the socialist, basically, she's Soviets or whatever. She lived a guy who was spared, basically, I mean, who left a place where somebody thought it'd be a good idea to round up people and exterminate them. And by the way, if you listen to my grandfather speak, which I did recently on a Corolla classics,

you would be much more hesitant on calling President Trump Hitlerian when you realize these guys came in. They started rounding up people. He left. He said his other Jewish friends thought it couldn't be. They're not going to do this. They're going to round us up. They're going to detain us. They're going to put us somewhere.

worst case scenario, but they're going to start mass extermination. That seems crazy. They're going to come in. They're going to make us do some labor or something or make us wear a, you know, a six-pointed star in our pajamas or something. They're not going to dig mass graves. And it's like they were living in what they thought were modern times in, you know, 1939, the cars buzzing up and down the street. people had a telephone at their house, you know, and they were like, they're not going to come in and start killing everybody.

They're just going to put us at a certain housing block or something. And so they all stayed and they all got exterminated. So, and then my grandmother glorified that place and shat on this place. What the fuck, bitch? Jesus Christ. I mean, yes, go ahead. It's transferring. She didn't hate this country.

She hated her dad. Of course she hated. I know they all hate their dads and that's where this shit comes from. And then, you know, my mom didn't know her dad. So I guess she probably hated him. She hit her mom and her dad. Right. So, of course.

And then they start doing that. I got a front row seat to this shit my entire childhood. That's all I saw. And now it's just coming back around again. Oikophobia. It's right back. And I look at it all. all the time.

And I wonder, like, what? Oikophobiax, phobias. Look, we are on the floor, if you are black or you are transgendered or you're black and transgender, there's no better place to live than this country. I don't know what you folks are comparing us to. Where would you like? This oocophobic tendency is not us alone. The British are doing it like crazy.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, they have to. Yeah. And like I said, even the utopia that is Scandinavia, apparently. any any place that has people that are essentially out of problems out of danger and who don't have a strong religious leaning or faith they did make that fall prey they made that association what lack of lack of existential wars no and faith-based deterioration but you didn't say that before it was a little bit of it but the main thing was there's a little bit of it you didn't say that mentioned in the

the analysis I heard. I know it is. Because religious people don't act this way. This is atheist, agnostic, out of problems, bullshit. Because those people have a group. I think there's an identity piece to this. To be in a group, you need an outgroup. You need the subject-object distance. And so, to be oocophobic, you need to have,

oh, I'm different than the rest of these people. Therefore, I'm special. Yeah. Well, this is something that humans, and that why doesn't, doesn't just affect us here in North America. It's perfectly acceptable to do in England and Scandinavia. Of course it's going to happen because we have humans. And humans out of problems and out of God start going down this road,

unless they're me because I'm a fucking hero. I don't need problems or God to invent shit. Oh, I'm out of those two things. Now I've got to start inventing shit. How fucking stupid. What's up with people? I hate that band. Up with people.

No, but why are people so fucking soft and dumb? I keep running, I can run into like 53-year-old guys that are this way now. So when did this start? All I can tell you is, whatever this tendency is to sink into the oocophobia, is a natural human tendency present throughout human history. It's not modern history, all history. Of course. In a sense, in a sense, Christianity was part of that oocophobic deterioration, right? The Romans started hating themselves, and so they started letting these Christians.

take over. Lynette's got a bottle of veggie wash on the sink, you know. So that's something you buy for $7 to wash vegetables by the sink. Now, that's out of problems. You know what I mean? It's there's a million products for this. Right. They sell the scared women.

There's a huge portion of our brain that is its purpose is to deal with fear. It is to deal with threats. And when they're on enough of them, it starts to find them. Again, you know, you have the belief first, you find the evidence second. Yeah. And so I've got anxiety. I've got to find a problem to attach to it. I've always said to Drew, the racism in this country, not real racism, cries of racism, kicked into overdrive as President Obama was heading toward the end of his second term, two-term black president.

And now he's going and it's time to kick it. we got to kick it up. And I was telling him that there's a natural cognitive bias, which as things shrink, we perceive them to be becoming more common, more prominent. Tell them about the dots. They do these studies. Do the dots thing. They do like the study with a bunch of purple dots in a field of some other color,

and they slowly shrink them, and then they have themselves reported that are they getting more or fewer? And they report more, even though they're shrinking substantially. No, once you announce this picture, has a majority of purple dots as they start to pull them off the picture, you start to ramp up. You start to ramp it up and probably see more purple dots.

Only if you have a super soft brain, though. Let me keep reiterating that point. You have to be super soft and malleable. If you have fucking think right, then you won't be this way. I don't know why so many people are so malleable, but they are. Yeah.

This is not, I know we have a tendency or we want to or we're wired to or whatever. Could you have a little more dominion over your own fucking bean people? Jesus Christ. I think we need to find something to fear. You know, we're talking about phobias. I actually have a phobia of malt beverages from the 90s. I'm a zemophobic. Zemophobic.

Come on. Slow clap. Drew, isn't it? it? Your turn to chiming to go. No, chakisophobic. That'd be funnier. No, ZimoVe. Is that French? All right. Let's see. Keith has a son. Does weird things. Blah, blah, blah. Keith, 36, Houston. Yes, sir. Thank you all for having me on. Yeah, what's going on? Well, can I tell you a quick joke before I get into my question? I've been wanting to tell this to you guys. It's really short.

Only if I can shit on it. You have shit on it. You come up with a weaker version of it moments after he says it. Well, this is only like eight words, so it'll be real quick. It's the cleanest dirty joke you've ever heard. What is 6.9? Don't know. What?

It's 69 ruined by a period. Oh, yeah. That one. I got that one. Yeah, I've heard that one. I think I've heard that one before. I must have. Very good.

So the question is concerning my son. He's 14 now, but as long as he's been able to speak, I guess since the age of three or four, he likes to create problems for himself to solve, like, in my presence. So at first I thought, oh, he just wants attention. This is just something he's doing to get my attention. So I started really lavishing it on and I have his entire childhood, but it's something that he's never really stopped doing. and like for example when he's younger he would act like he would get a math problem wrong

and then he would all of a sudden figure it out oh this is the answer and then it went through all of his childhood and now when he's 14 he's you know the video game control is not working and he can't figure it out why and nothing we do work and he's like hold on a second and then he'll you know flick something and switch something and oh i got it to work look at this and so it's just something that he's always done, I spend so much time with him. I'm very affectionate telling him I love him, put my arm around him. You know, we're very close, so I don't know why he does this, and even sometimes it's to his

own detriment. He'll set up scenarios when he sells stuff or looks silly in front of the family or something like that. You better give me another example because I'm not getting it. I'm not getting. I get the part where you're trying to sort of set things. up and solve problems and set it up and solve problems. And that can be a very male sort of hetero kind of thought things, take things apart, put them back

together. But I don't know what this is. It sounded like he was getting praise for that problem solving. Very reinforced. But I still don't know where it's a problem. So he gets reinforced for problem solving. Good. Good.

But we got, Keith. I just, I want him to stop doing it because it kind of gets in the way. of, you know, what we're doing for family game night, or if we're, you know, at church and we're, you know, with friends and family and the fellowship and they're eating or something, and if he's creating a problem and everyone's like, what the heck's going on? So you don't feel the problems are genuine. So give an example what happened to church. Tell us what that was.

Okay, so we were all sitting around this table. It was more like dinner after church, and one of the, he couldn't find. he couldn't find something. I can't remember exactly what it was. And so he had everyone looking for it. And then suddenly, lo and behold, oh, I left it in the bathroom, stalled accident. And I knew it wasn't an accident. I knew that he had done it on purpose because he just wanted attention,

even if it was negative attention from everyone. Well, then why not then start not participating in that? He says, I lost the whatever you go. You figure it out. You go figure it out. Stop. I've done that too. All right.

I've tried every technique. It just, it never stops. Well, all right. Then I, you know, the kid's 14. I've had discussions with my son about stuff. Like I told him, I think he couldn't do two pushups or something the other day. It's like, hey, man, I could do 50 pushups when I was 13. You got to start doing pushups, man.

I mean, just fucking going there and start talking to him, you know? Like, and by the way, my son got it. Like, he wasn't like, no. Talk to me, though. I just said, you start doing 10 half pushups a night. Let's see if we can up this. And I'll check back with you in two weeks. And we'll see if we can rattle off five pushups because this is unacceptable.

This is unacceptable. And he's like, I got it. You know, like, I get it. And just go in there and say, look, you have this thing. I've noticed, you know, I don't think it's going to serve you well. It's going to be tough when you're older and you try to get a job and blah, blah, blah. And it's something you did when you were young and I kind of worked with it, look the other way.

now you're becoming a man and you're going to go to high school now and it's the chicks ain't going to like it and the teachers ain't going to like it and let's see if we can work on this. I mean, it's not it's not a whole bunch of, eh, eh, oh, doesn't take a lot of fancy. The great Laslo Gorog when he was done running from the Nazis, a young, woke a nine-year-old Adam Kroll up, piss in a bucket. Piss in a bucket. Piss in a bucket.

And wake me up after Johnny Carson at 1 a.m. Hey, hey, what? Yeah, piss in the bucket. We didn't need a team of psychologists or rubber sheet. We needed, I had to piss in the bucket and go back to bed. You're making the masturbation sign. It's freaking out. It's a different bucket.

Yeah. I don't know what you did in that bucket, but, well, right. So sometimes it's just go down and talk to somebody or just wake them up and tell them the piss in the bucket. You know, it's like, we don't need to get a therapy. He said we tried everything, but for how long, you know, this behavior needs to extinguish itself. You need to stick with that long. That's right. Sometimes a cigar is just a good smoke.

That's right. Say it. Mahala. Welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. Where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy.

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