The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #150: Bottle Stopper

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

Jun 7, 2014Adam and Drew open the show discussing how Drew's workload has changed over the past ten years and how they both have trouble imagining what they'll be doing ten years from now. They also talk the recent controversy over the Bowe Bergdahl prisoner swap and how President Obama's actions are being viewed by Americans. They wrap the show up taking listener phone calls. AdamAndDrDrewShow.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla and board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on mandate. Get it on. And this is our 150th show, Drew. No way. Yeah, man. It feels like just yesterday. It's nice that this stuff is our... Don't you agree?

Yes. And it's also interesting to me that people listen to so much of the old archived love line. Well, that's what I was going to say. We used to always say how it just went out in the ether's and it was just gone. Now people have collected them and listening again. It's interesting. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice to have a recorded legacy.

And Jesus Christ, imagine how much archival material your kids will have not to listen to listen to. It's so funny because every once in a while I think, well,

there it is. A whole legacy left behind for my children and I realized they'll never going to listen one second

at any of this bullshit ever. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. I don't. Shut up, Daddy.

Listen. I was, Chris, that was for you. I was on the Tonight. Oh, no, no.

I was on Jimmy's a couple weeks ago. Like, it didn't bother. No. Why? It's the Corolla tradition.

That's what are you talking about? What are you talking about? They're keeping it alive. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thanks for making this show such a success. And thank you for getting us to 150 episodes. And you say, well, how do we get you to 150 episodes? Well, if the show didn't work and the show didn't get any traction and you guys didn't

support the show and you guys didn't support the people that support the show. The sponsors, yeah. then we would pack it up because we wouldn't, you know, Drew's busy. I'm busy. It's one of those things. Drew, are you busier now than you were 10 years ago? No, less. Less, because your practice or because of the kids are?

Kids, not so much. You're giving up the mistress? The mistress I gave up a long time ago. Now, the kids are away in college, so they're not preoccupying us the way they used to. I've dialed down the practice way a lot. I used to do a lot more medicine, and that would, that's, people don't understand how stressful that is.

It is, taking your patients, especially your patients, well, but I would, yeah, the drug addicts. Right, so I'll do. Now I'm talking about the old folk. Well, the, I had stressful populations, and I was seeing at one point up to 60 patients a day.

Wow. And plus three or four consults. And that, that takes it out of you. And what people understand is, every patient is a huge, you're accepting massive liability and follow-up and communication with the family and dealing with the insurance companies. Every interaction has hours and hours of correlaries associated with it and monumental stress because you say you are going to be responsible for this person. Right.

And you can't blink. So it's people just don't get that. So I'm doing less of that. So that by itself has a massive reduction in my stress. But the reason I think I dialed down, this is actually more interesting. is when I was getting all those prostate biopsies, I was sicker than I realized. And I just sort of was constantly fatigued

and constantly didn't have the energy to do things. So that's why I was giving stuff up. I couldn't keep up. And so now I feel better again. So I'm sort of looking for things to do. What would be the dream scenario for you for the next decade? I don't think that way. I know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what that be. My dream scenario would be something creative would come along that I've not even thought of that really lights my fire a little bit. You know, something. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's for television or this or I don't know what. This has been really a very important thing for the last year for me because it just felt so freeing.

They will talk directly to people and not have an infrastructure and an administration stuff to worry about. Right. You and I sit down and talk to people. That's fantastic. Well, you and I hate waste. and the thing we hate the waste of the most is the waste of our time. I hate waste so much that when I'm walking around my shop or the set of a movie or something like that and at some point when I'm cleaning things up and I see a bunch of water bottles that are half drunk,

I want to take, and sometimes it's impossible, but oftentimes, it isn't and I do it, I walk the water bottle outside and dump it in a plant. Because to use the water. Yeah, because it's energy. Yeah. As we'd always talk about, whatever's in that bottle's energy. It was pulled up from somewhere. It was filtered somewhere. It was putting a truck and ship somewhere. It was putting a bottle and shipped somewhere. Somebody went and bought it at a 7-Eleven and handed it to another guy and he opened it and he drank half of it. And now what's left at the bottom of that bottle represents to me. It doesn't represent water. It just represents

energy. So I went and dumped it. If I can, instead of down the drain, let's literally go find a potted plan, just dump it into it. Yeah. But before you do that, I was going to say that

I would love to have the kind of year you just had, where you did lots of different creative things that really excited you. Even though I know that the catch predator was sort of paying the ass at times. That's an interesting... Contractor, but what did I say? Yeah.

Everyone says it. Yeah. It still was an interesting, creative experience. You know what I mean? When it was not wasting time, which is a part that drove you crazy. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was a little... So that would be cool.

I'd love a year like you just had. That would be fantastic. Yeah, well, wrote a book. Yeah. A documentary. Jesus Christ, shot a feature film. Yeah. Feature film, you blink your eyes.

It's the most... First off, It's weird, and Drew, you tell me about this. Speaking of waste, when you hear a good Corolla household story. Is this the potted plant thing you were thinking about a second ago? Yeah, well, it has to do with it. I can't remember if I told you this or not. But when I'm driven insane because everyone in my house opens a bottle of root beer,

takes one hit off it and then sets it in the refrigerator. And I just say, look, all it's going to do is sit in the refrigerator. refrigerator. I've given the speech. To be fair, wait, wait, wait. I'm before you give the speech, go ahead. They put it on the counter. The nanny puts it in the refrigerator. I got news for you. Okay.

Could be. I give the speech and have given the speech many times now that we have twins, refrigerator, real estate is at a premium. So I'm pulling out, it started with me pulling out mayonnaise jars that were empty going, don't put them back in. Right. Whoever made the sandwich last, scrape the bottom of the thing.

I can see the skid marks on the bottom of the thing where the butter knife was scraping. You did it. Now, don't put it back. And people do a lot of like, well, it's just reflexive. You put the cap back on, it goes back. No. It's like saying, well, you take a shit,

and then you reach you into the toilet, you grab the shit, and you bring it with you to work. It's just reflective. No, train the reflex. So I started getting into this thing where it's like, look, half the shit in this, fridge is empty or expired or, you know, there's a jumbo-sized thing, a barbecue sauce with a hummingbird's beak worth at the bottom of it.

Just get rid of it. Once a week, douche, that fridge. We're out of room, you know. Yeah. Things gotten better. But it started noticing the pop bottle. Martinelli's sparkling apple bottle, you know, two sips into the fridge, you know. And then what I would say is, first off, just throw it.

out. Yeah. Because you ain't using it. And I know you ain't using it because it sits in the fridge. It goes flat. And two days later, dump it out. Either way. Just dump it. Just own up to it and dump it. You don't want to be wasteful, but really what you're doing is you're lying to yourself. Let's be fair. Listen, they are not the one putting their refrigerator.

So they don't see the half-empty thing. They're the ones that are mindlessly putting the thing down after three sips and not even aware they're doing that. I think they, meaning the family, put it in their own occasion. But either way. But the point is, the The same person who puts down a Coke after three sips.

Three. We bump them up the three now. They're not going to swing back around and go, oh, oh, whoa, I didn't drink the whole thing. I better dump it out. So I, so I, because I'm me, when I'm doing one of my many mangroa signings, I have to then point at the rack of Chachkes while I'm signing with people, and I yell at Mike August. Go over to the rack of Chachkes because I'm at the liquor barn in Houston. Yeah.

and it's, you know, 200,000 square feet of booze, but there's the rack of jiggers and the rack of bottle stops and the, you know, I got all the stuff, beer coosies. I'm taking pictures and I'm pointing at the thing and I'm going, go get some of those bottle stoppers because when I come back off the road, I'll have my bottle stoppers now and then I'll beg people to implement the bottle stopper, which I always kind of look at is probably not my job. My job would be buying the soda and then going out and,

doing the Mangree event, but here we are. It's landed on my blotter. So, um, bladder? Latter. You're bladder? Really? Blotter. Oh, oh.

The booze lands in my bladder. This lands on my bladder. And, uh, I do the, uh, so I say, okay, so I come through the door one day, or I'm unpacking my suitcase and I go, here we go. Here we go. Yeah. Got a nice six pack of bottle stoppers. Now these will be implemented when one wants to have one shot of, you.

you know, Dr. McGougall's Frontier Root Beer, handcrafted Root Beer, and then, instead of me dumping it down the drain, you can put the stopper in it. Okay. So, came off the road the other day, saw the root beer in the fridge, had the stopper in it,

but the one with the Porchpout. Open Porchpout. Well, that may be your kids at least trying to comply. No. Who did it? You got to find out. Same name, the nanny again. That's the kids are no one.

I said, well, now here's, no, no, no, here's where the comedy kicked in. I just held the bottle up and just looked at comically because it wasn't in a por spout with a flap on it. It's just a smaller. Right. Kind of like what NASCAR does with a restrictor plate, you know, just a smaller opening. But yet air. Yeah, of course. It's the same process.

Maybe slow down 10%. Maybe. Maybe. So I held it in my hand. I started laughing. I said to Lynette, really? Really? She said, oh, I knew you'd say something.

I said, well, of course, I'm going to say something. What are we doing here? And she's like, I knew it. And that's it? That was the end with that exchange. Lesson learned. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Now, I don't know who put the stop in, and I don't know who. Obviously, it was okay at some level. But anyway, she knew I was going to say something. Like, yeah, I am. That's how I work. I think in my sense of what probably in fact happened there is she thought she put the right thing in and that you were going to go, hey, hey, look at this. And then realize when you.

No. No, no. No, no. What it is, what it is is is this. And my next book is going to be. When I said screws with the screws and nails with the nails, I got batteries with the chapstick, which is, let me explain. I've realized, and I've done this many times, I've tried this experiment many times. I've tried to get people to organize a million times.

Everybody. Everybody. And I've said, look, you see that whole back area? that whole back area back there, you make a shelf for the car detailing stuff. Oh, that's why you were happy a day when... Yes, you make a shelf for the rags. I see. You make a shelf for the booze.

That's when you see if you didn't care how he was feeling, he just cared what he was up to. I want the batteries with the batteries. At some point, you're going to open a drawer. There's going to be AA batteries, and there's going to be a piece of chap. There's going to be one chapstick in the AA batteries. And you're going to go, why is their chap? You want to know what the answer is? Why?

They're the same shape. Yeah. Well, that's where it's, that's where it ends. That's where it ends. I have never, ever, and believe, I've made a life out of, when you do the warehouse garage thing like I do all the time, it is nothing but an organization process. There is no such thing as you walking in when somebody goes, I'm now done and you're not just walking into one drawer, opening it up and going, why there's sawzall, why is there one saws all blade mixed in? with all these drill bits. Oh.

Okay. And you pull the one thing out and then you go put it with the saws all bits. But that's how everyone is wired. Everyone. Except you. Of course. Okay. Now, what happened was...

Well, at least you accept that everyone else is wired that way. Somebody reached into the drawer and grabbed something that felt like a stopper. Yeah, I thought it was... Yeah. And then they shoved it in. And as they were putting it in the fridge, they noticed... Yeah. It wasn't a stopper.

Yeah. But that's... It's where stopping. That's where it ended. Now, then it was then... served a few times with the note that the mean old man's going to come off the road and have a laugh about this. And it probably at some point, there was a note that said, I'm going to swap the stop. Yes. There it stopped. And there it stopped again. Yes. That's the process. The process is,

now, here's what I want to say to everybody. And I've said to everyone a million times. And I've said it to any waiter that says, I don't need to write down your order and then promptly fucks up your order. or the person in general who just goes, I don't need to write that down or I don't need to, or I got it. That's going to be the name of my next book. You don't got it. Do it.

There's a little window. I got it. No, you don't. There's a window. Guess where that window is. You just notice something. That's the window. That's your window.

Now go do it. Because when you go, oh, I noticed this. it, therefore I will recognize it this time tomorrow and rectify it? No. You don't get it. All righty then. So you don't know what you want to do in the next 10 years, but something. Yeah, something like, just something creative, right?

And was the last year good for you? Or was just too much? Yeah, I think it was too much. Things tend to come in these flurries. That's the unfortunate part. You can't kind of enjoy it when these things come, because the time demands are so ridiculous. Yes, and as I've said, all the separate entities aren't interested in any of the other separate entities.

So the catch-a-contractor people, all they know is they want to do some pick-ups. Yes. The book people, all they know is you had an audiobook to deliver, and that was two weeks ago, where is it? And they're sort of in sense that your focus isn't completely on their project, right? Like, no perspective. Do you know what I mean? No, no sensitivity to everything else. As I've always said to these people, I never know the name of my publisher, you know.

Yeah. And they said, when I did my last book, they said at a certain point, I just kept going like, hey, you know, I know you guys are good outfit and, you know, you guys do a heck of a job or something. And she just said, you don't even know the name of this company, do you. And I said what I always say, which is, you know. No, I don't, but it's not going to prevent me from writing a great book. Right. Do not mistake my disinterest with quality because I'm not writing a good book for you. I'm writing it for me.

Of course. I'm not taking your money and writing a shitty book because then my fans have to read the book and then have to tell me what a piece of shit it is. Right. And I don't want to go to Amazon.com and see a 2.5 star rating for my book. Right. I have, interestingly enough, now three books, and they're all 4, 4, 4, 4, and 4, 5 out of the five stars in the ratings, which is nice. And by the way, there's plenty of the one-star ratings that you get just from the fucking haters out there, which throw the curve off.

Right. But I like that it's four plus stars on every book. And if I came out with a book that was three stars, I wouldn't feel good about it. And so I'm not doing it for the name of the publisher or them doing it for me. And it's like I would always think that when people came in and did our radio show, my morning show, our late night show, whatever, love line, whatever it was, people just kind of. Mail it in. Yeah. I just thought, ah, name of my next book.

Don't do it for me, do it for you. Meaning what I, look, you can come on my show and suck. Then people will think you suck. They won't think I suck. When somebody goes on Howard Stern and sucks, they'll go, fuck Howard Stern. They go, fuck that guy. Yeah. He's not funny.

Right. Or he wasn't any good. They never, they don't blame the host. They go, did you hear, fill in the, the blank on Howard Stern and then everyone goes, yeah, it kind of suck. Yeah. Or they'll go, yeah, it was awesome. Speaking of Stern, did I hear, were you talking about the stamp issue on Stern? Was that where I heard you say that about the difference in a 45% cent stand and a 49% stamp?

Yes. Yeah. I thought that was a great thing. I've used that thinking since. I forget who I was talking to. But the idea that, hey, Chris, I'm going to give you this piece of paper here. I want you to get to Maine by Thursday. Got it? You know what I mean? And we're like, what? Forty-nine cents? Well, they've raised it to 49 cents.

The four cents, were they fucking kidding? I've also, but I've also said if that is one of your main battle cries in life at any station in life as an adult, please stop and examine your life. Well, but not just your life, but you're thinking. Because that means we're really just not thinking. Well, no, no. I mean, like, where you're at. Like, I had a friend of mine who I don't speak to anymore, who I was very close with, and we had a difference of opinion, and I basically shamed him, and that's, he's out of my life. But part of the reason he's out of my life is at a certain point when he was probably 33, 34, 35, and I was the same age, and I was getting going with the man show and Loveline and doing pretty well for myself. He was explaining to me that he got fucked, that he had an idea for, you know, some domain name. And I'm going to screw the story up a little. But some website, some something or other, he needed $1,600 to secure this website to buy the name or whatever it was. And that he had partnered up with a gal.

And he was going to pay $800 and she was going to pay $800. And that she had fucked him by pulling out. her $800 and then he wasn't able to secure the domain name and blah-de-blah blah-blah. So I had this great plan. For $1,600, I was going to do this. And then this chick came around and she fucked me over and she took her $800. And now I'm out. And this thing that it could have been flourishing business is out the window because this cunt

pulled her $800 out of it. How many years after the fact is he telling you this story? This is like real time. And we're like 34. And I just looked at him and I said, you should be asking the question, why didn't you have $1,600? Not what a cunt she is. And why did you pick this person, too? That's nothing.

I didn't even peel the banana that far. But I was like, you're 35. You don't have $1,600 to put into a business. She screwed you because you could only come up with half at your age. That's a bigger and better question. Did you say that out loud? Yes. What do you say?

Well, I don't speak to him anymore. Oh, that would create that kind of a fight? Well. Or did you cut it off at that point? No, that was the part of the problem and why the relationship ended. Right. I kept asking those questions. What's going on with this?

My interest is not finding anonymous woman who held back her $800 check and settling her hash. that's not going to help you, in my opinion. Certainly not going to do anything to alleviate this problem. There's plenty of people that are going to screw you over with writing $800 check. A better way to alleviate this problem, and I think you would say this to your kids, whether it was about this guy was going to do half the homework and I was going to do the other half and he dropped the ball, is you do the whole homework next time and then you don't have to worry about it. Right.

you do the whole book report, then you don't have to worry about it. By the way, it's insane what we tolerate from adults that you would never tolerate from your kids. Yeah. Never. Yeah. And I'm not talking about your kids when they're teenagers.

I'm talking about when they're eight. Yeah. Where you would go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because that's how kids think, and that's what you do. You shape it. You try to bring it into reality. But adults still think that way now. Because they weren't properly shaped.

So I attempt to not, look, As far as the shaming goes, that'll be up to you. I'm simply stating the truth. You can absorb it as shame, or you can look at it as constructive criticism, a life lesson, or even nothing. When I work construction, people explain to me all the time. Here's how you do it. This is a better, faster way to do what you're doing. And I never took it as anything other than advice.

That's what they were giving me. Yeah. And I would sit in an office with Jimmy Kimmel and we write comedy and he'd say, no, no, don't do it this way, do it that way. I never took it as anything other than he wants to make a funnier show. And that's what he's thinking about. Now I sit in an edit bay with Kevin Hensch and other people and we edit movies and I say, let's do it this way. And Kevin says, I disagree. Let's do it that way.

And I say, well, let's see it your way. And he says, let's see it your way after we're done seeing it my way. And then we get a better product. Yeah. Nobody feels like anyone's bossing anyone around or shaming anyone. It's another human being. He has a creative view of something that differs from mine. Let's hear it.

What's, when did this happen, Drew? I don't know, but I'm seeing much, much, much more of this stuff right now. It's a very strange time. Is it a good thing? No, no, not a good thing. No, you know why it's not a good thing? Because I'm a journeyman carpenter and you're a fucking glorified goomper. So shut your fucking pie hole and listen to what I'm telling.

And by the way, as I've always said, and I say this all the time, if these guys were in the military, everyone would be dead. The, hey man, I'm doing my own thing. Or I know you told me to do it this way, but I'm loading the ordinance on the A10 my way. Isn't it weird that a day when so many people are in the military, we have a lot of this stuff? You think it would bring it around? I don't feel like it's the ex-military people. we have a prom.

Oh, someone has a military question up here. But it is, yes, that was the beginning of the end, was me asking those sorts of probing questions. Speaking of the military, how about this guy that they traded Taliban for? I wonder what your thoughts were on that. Well, do you see his father get up in the Rose Garden and speak in Arabic and say praise Allah? Did you hear that today? Yeah, I've heard.

Listen, here's the truth. is as I know it so far. This guy basically just packed his bags and abandoned his post. Yes. He left his weapons. He took a knife, I believe. He packed water and he took off his body armor. Again, this is all I've heard.

Yes, I've read about the Dear Times. I don't know what all the, I don't know if the totality of the truth has come out, but he basically, there was rumblings and grumblings of him not digging his scene in the Army. and kind of wanting to set out on his own. That's what this letter said. If it's his letter. He went out on his own. And you and I are the same way, which is, I don't have this.

Every child is our future, and every child is precious, and every person with a heartbeat is any different than, no, I believe you choose your path. If that's kind of your thing, now look, if you want to try to jump Snake River on a rocket cycle, that'll be, you. your path too. You may end up on the floor of the river, dead. I'm okay with that. That's what you chose to do. If you're in hostile

territory and you put down your weapon and you slink off into the night, there's a decent chance that you're going to get captured by the Taliban. And you may not, you may find out that they're not so nice once you're captured by them.

Once you're captured by them, that is a consequence of a decision that you and you only made. And that's fine with me. The fact then that we lose, I guess, three lives. Six. Sorry, six lives trying to find you and bring you back. And those kids' parents are pissed. Should be.

Because they just found out what the missions were that the sons lost their lives on. Right. They didn't know. They didn't know. They just thought they were out looking for Taliban and said they were trying to to get this fucking guy back to his guard check they are now pissed right now the the good news is these kinds of decisions that the president is making i believe would not be made if he didn't feel like he could do things with impunity as it pertained to the press and what i'm saying is is

we have a press whether you believe me or not whether you think oh sure fair and bound Fox, whatever. Fuck you, Corolla. But I'm saying this. We are going to spend much more time on Donald Sterling than we are on six lives lost looking for a guy who was basically a deserter. And this is the kind of decision that you don't make unless you know the press is your friend. Because when you know the press is gunning for you, you sit there and carefully weigh these decisions out. And the people that were traded, the five guys that were traded, these guys weren't, you know, privates and lieutenants. These were some generals in there with some blood on their hands.

Well, they say they're going to hit back. They've been planning for 10 years and they're coming. Well, that's what they do. Yeah, they're coming. So this was a wildly ill-conceived and brash move by the president. and again, I don't know what's in it for him from a police. I keep trying to figure it out. Maybe there's some game theory in this that we don't, there's three moves down the line we don't know about or something.

I mean, it has to be something, right? Look, here's my point. I think this is what you do. First off, you do it in your second term. You do this in your first term, this shit's coming up in a debate, especially as this thing really starts to unfold. And you get some of the parents, as you said, of the guys who lost their lives in this mission. And it's not, you know, this bullshit of, hey, we don't leave a brother behind.

You know, we're all Marines and we're all brothers in arms. And you don't leave a brother on the, no, no, this is not that. This is leaving a note, packing his bag and walking off his post. So this narrative is going to change. And as the truth starts trickling out and you start speaking to other guys that are in his unit and so on and so forth, This is going to be a horrible story for the administration. So this is not a first-term move. This is a second-term move, in my opinion.

And secondly, and thirdly, and fifthly, you don't do this unless you think you have the New York Times and the L.A. Times and CNN and everyone in your fucking hip pocket. You just don't. And it'll never come up in that context with that group. The story will come up because they have to bring it up, but not. There would be much more. You'd get the frenzy. It's funny.

You know, I was talking to my son. I was asking him, you know, what's going on with your generation? He goes, I think we're like hippies that don't have long hair. We just don't, we just, I was trying to figure out what's going on with them. And he goes, he goes, look, he goes, when you guys were young in the 70s, you had Nixon, we have Bush. I'm like, whoa. 70s fucking president got on TV, cried and quit. and then got in a helicopter and disappeared.

Right. Is that Bush? And then he goes, well, you had Vietnam. We have Afghanistan. I'm like, that conscription. What are you talking about? So there's this weird historical distortions right now, too. So I don't know what's going on.

It's hard to figure out. Well, I'll tell you what we're doing is you pick a team. And once you have a team, it doesn't matter how. how many guys on that team. Let's all go libertarian, everybody. Let's do it. That's everybody. You're libertarian.

Every guy in your team could beat the shit out of his old lady. That's fine. You'll make excuses about him and his activities all day long as long as he's on your team. Yeah. This was a move that, and it's just, you know, it'll turn into the Republicans will go, we want some answers. And the Democrats will go, oh, please, enough. witch hunt. Another witch hunt.

Because we have a black president. You wouldn't be doing this if this was Bush. Because you guys were Bush? Woo. Well, if this were Bush... They'd be an impeachment trial. I can guarantee you that the New York Times would have a much different... They dedicate a day to a week.

Well, listen. Bush lied. People died. It was on every other bumper sticker in West, West L.A. people died trying to find this hero and his dad, Cat Stevens, and Jesus Christ. I mean, again, there's an arrogance to the administration, sequestration, shutting down the White House, playing golf. It just feels arrogant. Hubris.

Shubris. Okay, shubris. But again, maybe we don't know something. Maybe there's something. I don't know what we don't know. but it feels like, like I said, if you're going to give a speech about a lot of hardworking folks... There is.

Oh, boy. If you're going to give a speech about a factory closing down and a lot of hard working folks being out of a job, don't go golfing that same afternoon. Go down to the basement with Tiger Woods. He'll come in the secret tunnel. And you guys hit a bucket in the basement. Yeah.

Don't go out to the links. Yeah. Where there's photo, where this guy's taking photographs of you. That's what I'm talking about. Like, don't bring this guy back when you know. I mean, all you got to do is it's a couple of quick questions, which is this guy got kidnapped by Al Qaeda? Oh, no. He left.

He just wandered into the desert like a Jew. How many guys did we lose trying to find this guy? Six. Who we trained him in for? Five guys. Bad guys. who planned to strike who were making a plan to hit

the continent maybe maybe not they say whatever it is then you stop and you pause for a second you go listen this is originally was a pitch

pitched me as a feel good story where we get this guy back after five years of captivity now it's starting to sound like when people scratch this lottery ticket I think they didn't research it adequately

I just heard the guy was sick yeah the humorous part is the second term who gives a shit and I got the press in my pocket. I really do think it's the press in the pocket. I don't know what's so happy. Okay.

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On Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. Much, by the way, for bookmarking us over on Amazon, Adam and Dr. Drew Show.com, and subscribe the little PayPal buttons. Good ju-ju, man. Ju-ju-choo. Loving you. My book, present me, out as we speak. New York Times bestseller, man.

Thank you so much. Go grab that on Amazon and give it the bookmark. All right. What are you talking about C.A. Five. John. Oh, Bill. That's right.

From Buffalo. Bill? Hey, A. How's it going? What's up? Good, man. 34 from Buffalo. What's happening?

Hey, Dr. Joe, you too. Hey. I am currently going through a custody battle, and my ex is, like, one of those chicks that if she had called up the show, you guys could have been able to tell at what age she was abused. A lot of unregulated anger,

I really, really think she's borderline personality. Basically, my question is, I think she's probably capable of pulling the wool over people's eyes. I mean, she has been at this point. And if I have to keep on paying for every step of this evaluation along the way, my question, Dr. Drew is really how good are these tests and these people just public health officials at finding these kind of mental disorders in a divorce proceeding custody

we're never married you got to go you got to go watch that movie at a divorce corp where they talk about how the court assigns these guys that do the psychological evaluations it's a it's kind of a racket more than anything but if you find somebody who does quality

psych testing yeah they could pick up personality disorder then the person the individual can't hide it because that you you can tell when they're hiding, too, the way the tests are constructed. When are we going to turn this in more of a science, like functional MRI stuff? Yeah, but neuropsych testing is pretty, it's just a, it's also a way of testing. You know what I mean?

It's a functional test and shows you what the psychology is. It's a very good test. Why do you need an anatomical image of what it is when you have a functional expression of it in these tests? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying, but maybe you're talking to people that don't know what you're saying. Huh? Maybe what I'm saying is, is you have a person that says, in my opinion, at the start, you know.

So it's a measured thing. It's like, here's the test, here's the result. They hit the borderline scale. That's what they got. Okay. All right. It feels like a lot of those experts start their sentence with, in my opinion, this person is. Well, you can interpret the test.

And then once you hear in my opinion, now it's open. That's your opinion. I'm saying, in the court, there's a lot of funny business that goes on. But if somebody who's really good, a really high-quality tester, you should be able to get real answers. The problem is, though, just because you have borderline personality doesn't mean you're going to not get your kids. You know, so I don't know what the end game is here. Well, I mean, she's sprung a lot of lies and tried to paint up a lot of things about me when it's really just, I mean, I never had. But the attorneys and whatnot motivate people to lie.

That's sort of what they do. You know, who knows if it's the system or if it's her. It's awful. Yeah. What could I be looking? You just need a quality, you need a real quality person that maybe you hire a separate from the courts. Find somebody really good, a real side of your PhD psychologist who does neuropsych testing, get her tested.

Buffalo's a hotbed of really good neuropsychologist. Rochester's really good. That's true. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. How far are you from Rochester? About 45 minutes. How many kids are we talking about?

Just one. He's two and a half. It's just awful. The other way, by the way, is just make peace. Just find some kind of equitable division of labor and just make peace. I really, the less you involve the system, the better. The system serves itself. It doesn't serve the participants.

I have absolutely learned that. You kind of, yeah, you kind of just nailed what I've been resigning myself to later. Watch my movie Divorce Corp. I think it's at doctoru.com you can get it. It's insane what's going on a divorce right now. Well, you know, I think there's more funny. I was listening to our friend Dennis Prager the other day. Our now mutual friend, how about that?

Yeah. And he was talking about how there's a story out of Hawaii. Some father picked his son up. at school and the kid was, I don't know, disrespectful, whatever. As punishment, the child had to walk home from school. Okay. It was a mile away. And somehow this got to the judge and the judge, you know, called the guy in and admonished

him and then had to send him to parenting classes and stuff like that. And it's like, there's something going on, which is. is when you're parenting your child and you're simply parenting them in a way that was deemed acceptable throughout humanity. And now all of a sudden... But people were beating people with kids through humanity, you know, throughout history too. Well, no, but I'm saying is this certainly telling them they had to walk home from school as punishment for being... Unless it was 12 degrees or something. Yeah, this is in Maui or wherever it is.

But either way, the fact that you're now having to go in front of a judge and explain your... yourself. You know what I mean? And then you're getting, then you're getting mandatory parenting, whatever, where they're going to need 70 hours of you with a whatever and it's going to, you're going to have to pay for it. There is a certain point, as I've said many times, when the guy comes on to your property from the Department of Building and explains to you that you can't do this or you can't do that. There's a kind of a thing where it's sort of like, um, What country we living in? I know.

Generally, that's where I feel these days. And what was the plan here? And who fucking decided you were the boss? I know. And yes, you're right. I agree with you that the system is not for him and it's not for her and it's not for the child. That's not for the father or the mother. It's for them.

Yeah. The system is just building on itself. Yeah, especially what makes a lot of money for itself. Then it really builds. It's not just bureaucrats. Just bureaucracy. It's also making money in the case of divorce operations. Yes. Yes. As I've said many times. I mean, I don't know how we deal with it. To me, it's civil disobedience. I drive through red turn arrows. And if I ever get a ticket, I'm going to fight it. Although it's been 13 years.

It's awful. Never got a ticket. Never got a ticket. And you people that don't do it, cowards and lemmings. I tell you. Drew, it's been endless for me, has it not? 10 years, maybe 15. Never got a ticket. Yeah. Why? Because there's no reason not to turn left on those lights.

Cops notice things that are anomalies. Mainly... Or that are dangerous. No. No? Well, here, look, let me tell you something. You want to... Would you like to know how, I believe, nine-tenths of the citations that go out?

I really believe eight and a half or nine of every citation that goes out. Tell me if you agree or disagree with this. Laying in wait. Yes, for sure. It's cops laying in weight. It is not happenstance. Yes. It is not cop driving around.

Oh, that guy just pulled a U-turn. I'm going to pull them over. Yes, that makes up 10%. But 90% is the pussies dotted all the way up and down the grapevine. sitting there on top of the overpass with the radar gun waiting for you to go by and you're super safe Audi at, God forbid, 81 miles an hour when there's no fucking traffic and they're going to write you chicken. That is nine out of ten.

We... I agree. But dig! Dig! I'm assuming, by the way, if you got the ticket, they would see, they'd be sitting, waiting and see you turn left. I'm not saying they'd be just hanging around. They're not hanging there.

Yeah, yeah. Dig. Dig our wiring. Dig our wiring. Would you please dig this wire? All I'm interested in is not getting chicken shit tickets or any tickets. Okay. And that's all you're interested in. That's all anyone's interested in. Right? Right. Now, if we were sitting at an intersection at four in the morning on a Sunday night and it was red and I looked to the left and looked to the right and I look behind us and I said, nobody's here.

Drive through that red. Nobody would drive through. They're very small. percentage of people would drive through that red. Or I looked in my rear view in Culver City where we used to work and there's no cops behind me and it's midnight and there's nobody around. And I said, turn left through that arrow. The light's green. Turn left through the arrow. Nobody would do it.

But yet every single one of those people I've just mentioned would happily break the speed limit for hundreds of miles if they're driving to Vegas. Or they're driving to San Francisco. Now listen, idiots, that's where the cops

are. So what you won't do that's illegal is drive through the red light when it's an empty intersection and there are no cops. What you will do is go down the grapevine at 80 miles an hour because you have the windows up and the air conditioning blowing and you got a little music pumping and it

feels completely safe because modern cars are completely safe. It doesn't seem like you're breaking the law. And then you're going to go over, I mean, you don't get 100 feet down the grapevine without seen CHP all over the fucking. place. Yes.

So that you will happily do. Yes. What I'm asking you to do, which won't get you a ticket, you'll not engage it. Yeah. Why? Chicken shit. No, where's the, I'm saying. No, there's no logic.

It's, that's an emotional thing for sure. But the emotional part of it should be, I don't want to get a ticket. It's psychological. All right. But I don't want to get a ticket should be the psychological part. I know. But psychological part is this is a red light in front of me as opposed to, right. I'm kind of speeding.

I don't even aware of it. Yeah. So, ask everyone where they got their tickets. All right. These guys are pussies. They hide. They lay in wait. It's weird.

You know, in the criminal prosecution world, laying in wait is a big deal. You go for manslaughter to murder one if you lay in wait. These guys lay in wait for the people who pay their salaries. Yeah. Interesting. All right. So get a radar detector and fuck them. Number one.

And then number two, drive through the arrows and be a hero. All right. Let's do one more call. Yeah, Poland. I want to talk to Jordan. Yeah. All right. Let's talk to Jordan.

Jordan. Hey, get it on. What's going on, guys? What are you doing in Poland? Well, the military is in here. Oh, really? Where in Poland? Right now I'm in Posenon.

Posenon. Mm-hmm. Fascinating. Well. Yeah. Are they moving lots of people? Are they moving, hey, are they moving lots to you east because of the Ukrainian thing? Not me in particular, but yet, so a lot of our guys are going there.

Wow, crazy. Yeah, it's awesome. It's pretty interesting over here right now. Yeah, Russia. Such a delight. So I was calling because I'm having issues with some of my troops. I'm probably enlisted guy myself and became an officer. I dropped out of high school, and I got to where I am through hard work and always saying yes, sir, and doing what I was told.

well now I'm in a position of power, and it seems like these young guys 18 years old, they don't, and they've never been told what to do before, so I don't understand their reaction when I tell them what to do. I want to you guys have an insight. How do they react? Well, a lot of questioning, a lot of why do I got to do this and what's that for? And that's something I can't deal with. I really don't think there's any, there's nothing other than because I fucking told you,

Now, do it. Like that, don't they go through boot camp? They go through boot camp. I'm Air Force, so some of your listeners might understand that's a little different than some other boot camps. But, yeah, they still have a feeling that they can talk back to superiors and kind of have an accident sometimes. Wow. You know, in the military. I know, so sad.

Well, why wouldn't the military start to start? slowly reflect. Yeah. Reflect. Yeah. But isn't that the military's job to shape based on whatever is going on in society? Well, I think the military is always going to be five steps ahead of society in terms of discipline and everything else. But five steps.

And we've moved so hard to the left in terms of the kids and the disrespect and the whatever, you know, every kid calling everyone's dad by their first name and all that kind of shit. We're in flip-flops on an airplane flight and all that kind of stuff. Oh, you heard that Atlanta plane the other day because a dog took a shit in the aisle. Of course. I thought of you immediately. Well, Drew. I say to everyone all the time. When I was arguing with that dope glory all red, and she was explaining to me that Michael Richards' career could possibly be helped by this racial tirade he went on on the stage of the laugh factory.

be helped? She explained, I don't know. I don't know. This is nine, seven years ago. I think history has been kind to me. But she was suing on behalf of the people that were in the audience, you know, and I said, do you have to sue everyone all the time? And she said, well, Michael Richards' career could be helped by this tirade. And I said, no, it's not going to be helped. And she said, well, you don't know that, do you? And I said, yes, I do. I know it's not when you go on racial tirades in your comedic actor, no, it's not helped. And she said, you know what? You don't know that because you don't have a crystal ball.

And I said, yes, but I have a crystal brain. And it's better than a crystal ball. And I know everything in advance. So when I start seeing dogs on planes, I said, it's only a matter of time before one of these dogs shits up the plane and they have to divert to fucking Houston or Kansas City. That's what happened last week. Of course. It's awesome. people tell me stuff like it's news.

In my mind, it's already happened. All right, so what should Jordan do? Jordan should be, his job is to shape these guys. He's got to get them to shape up. It's a tough love. Yeah. I mean, I love the energy that is for Jordan, though. I know, it sucks, but.

He has to be their parent. That's what they need. Yeah, I have no issues telling me these guys to shut up and do what I told them to do. I just can't understand, you know, their mental thought process of, I tell them to do something. they say, hey, man, and then what is in their brain, where they expecting me to do, they're saying, oh, I didn't, I didn't know. Yeah, you're right. They're done.

I think you've got to take the attitude that you're going to help them. They have a problem. They think they're worth, their importance, more important than you are. So you're going to help them by understanding how to respect it. I'm dropping a fucking hammer on them. Yeah, but dropping the hammer. Real quick. John, 23, Pennsylvania?

Yeah. Thanks for taking my call, guys. Sure. I'm 23. I've been having trouble dealing with previous sexual abuse, and I'm in a bit of a precarious situation. You've been treated? Yeah, yeah, I've seen a counselor essentially since I stopped repressing everything. And what's the question?

I guess in a nutshell, I'm having trouble finding my way in life. I was in school for English and took a break because the way the economy. me, doc. Hey, John, let me jump in here for a second. Yeah. As someone who wasn't sexually abused, but as someone who at 23 did not have a path in life and hung out with nothing but 23-year-olds who weren't sexually abused but yet had no path in life.

It's very easy to not have a path in life as a 23-year-old male, female, and just basically I would argue that most 23-year-olds don't have a path in life. These days especially. These days especially. In the past, you average 1.3 jobs over your career. Now you average 15 jobs before your 25th birthday. So as far as what happened to you in the molestation in your childhood, it's something that should be addressed. As far as you not having a path in life, not necessarily connected.

or I wouldn't at least dump it all on the lap of that incident. You see what I'm saying? So assume you're just one of the 35 million 23-year-olds that haven't exactly found their calling. And then deal with the sexual molestation as well. Right. But everything doesn't have to land in that shopping cart. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it was just, yeah, I had to take some time off because the flashbacks are kind of given to me. I understand. And so that needs to be dealt with. And then in between there's the work of life. But let's not make that who you are. Let's not make that your identity. I've said it many times. Whatever you are, whether it's your team, whether you're victimized, whether it's your ethnicity, whether it's your gender.

Let's not make or a band. Let's not make that you. That's fine. You know, look, nobody's ever going to argue that, I mean, you know, you talk about, you know, it's one of those things, Drew, where people go, hey, I'm a woman. I am, I'm born, I'm a, I have a disadvantage. I don't have an even playing field. Or I'm fill in the blank ethnicity. I don't have an even playing field.

Or I come from poor parents. I don't know. How about being molested? Right. I'm talking about fucking up that playing field. No, I know. All right. Most people come from some, most people could make.

make an argument of why the playing field wasn't exactly level for them. Yes. Parents, molestation, color your skin, gender, whatever it is. Good. Now we've established that many, many, many Americans and certainly internationally suffer from the syndrome of not having a level playing field. Now let's get to work. Let's not keep talking about how bad the playing field is.

Let's overcome the playing field. You know all those stories you like? Historically, all those great stories. It was never, oh, his dad was super rich, and then he got even richer. No. Hamilton was, Alexander Hamilton was an orphan in the West Indies. That's right. Born to a prostitute, maybe.

Everyone loves the stories. Yeah. Abraham Lincoln lived in a house with three walls. It's true. Okay. Then he became Abraham Lincoln. That's a better story than Abraham Lincoln. His dad was a banker.

And he grew up on his own. Island. No, we don't like that. That's not. Okay, so all those good stories you like, you just become one of those. Thank you. Thank you so much for telling a friend. Until next time, it's Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew, Chris Max Pata. I'm going to have to say it. Mahalo. Hey, it's Kahl. Join me for barely famous, unfiltered conversations, unexpected guests, and zero limits. It's messy, it's real, and it might get a little unhinged. So follow rate and review barely famous wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo.

If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls.

Shut up. Titanic. I'm the king of the world. And so much more. For showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream not.