The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #188: Doug Benson Pt. 2

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

November 5, 2014 - Doug Benson joins to show to talk about his new stand up special ‘Doug Dynasty.’ They also take phone calls about giving your significant other a nickname and their interpretation of ‘handling the truth.’See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Well, he's part two of the Doug Benson episode from November 2014. We get into some phone calls, you know, giving one of the topics we get into is nicknaming the significant other and, you know, also the interpretation of what it means to handle the truth.

And my goodness, truth has had more meaning than ever to us lately. And back then we took it for granted, I would say. But old friend Doug Branson, November 2014, show 188. Wilmer? Thanks, sir. Hey, man, Drew Dizzle, get it on. Yeah, New York, 24. What's going on?

How are you guys doing? Thanks for taking the call, by the way. Thanks. I've got a question. I'm confused. Where does this belief of people not being able to handle the truth? Like, you hear it in so many places. Where do you guys think that belief stems from?

Like, I don't get it. What is it? I think there's two different things when people say that. One is they're declaring, hey, I'm an asshole. and you can't handle the truth and people don't like it when I speak the truth and they're just saying

I'm an asshole there's that there's what you're saying is there's the reality show version of the chick who's chewing her gum with the hair extensions from New Jersey

who's all acrylic nails and they go I speak the truth and people can't handle the truth and that's why they can't handle me I'll be straight up with you I'll look you in the eye I'll tell you and it's like

no you're a cunt and that's that You fucking think your dog thinks it's a human and you're fucking piece of shit in your mess. And that's why people have difficulty with you, not because you're some sort of shaman. It's the truth all the time. It speaks to truth. And there's versions of that. There's a male version of that.

You're beaked up on rock star energy drink. And you have a fucking ninth grade education. You have veneers and your pain in the ass. That's not. So that's the one version of whenever anyone says, people can't handle me. because I tell it like it is and they can't handle. That usually just means you're kind. Do you remember that Dick Tard we talked to last week?

Remember that Dick Tard that was like, don't interrupt me, man? Yeah, yes, yes. He's that male version of this, too. There's a male version of that. Chris remembers him. But unclear whether Wilmer's asking about that person or not. No, no, no. What I think he's asking about is, and this is a much, not newer, but become more newly pervasive,

which is the truth doesn't matter. matter. It's, hey, man, I'm going to tell you what it is. And they don't want to hear evidence of the Contrae that want to discuss it. I'm going to tell you about the birth canal to prison pipeline because that's where it goes, where it is. There's a birth canal to prison fucking pipeline. And if you say anything against it or give me any evidence against it, I'm not interested. So everything begs the truth. But perhaps, yes. And hold on a second, Wilmer. Help me with this, Drew. Would you please? I'll try.

I'll try. Help him. Help him. I sat in the kitchen the other day. Uh-oh. I watched my wife, Lynette, she was rinsing glasses, rinsing them with hot water, to the point where there was nothing in it. I was drinking a vodka and tonic or something out of that glass a day earlier, and now there's just nothing in it. It's hot water.

And then I see her. going to her right, stacking it all into the dishwasher. But just to the left is the rack for the glasses. And I just sit there and I say, you can set it on the rack, and then it'll just air dry, and then it'll be fine, and then I'll use it tonight to have a cocktail. I want it. I want it sterilized.

I want it sterilized. I want it sterilized. I said, well, look, first off, there's nothing on it. Last thing that was in it was vodka. I mean, alcohol sterilized glass. I sterilized in my fucking self. I took care of it myself. And so that's number one.

So there was alcohol. It was like in it. But number two, you know, it wasn't like I was eating shepherd's pie out of it with a fucking spoon. It's just fucking some liquid. Some liquid was in there. Could have been a beer. Could have been a soda. Could have been water.

Now, you rinse it out in the hot water. set it to the left save yourself some time why load it up put it in the dishwasher run the dishwasher and then you have to unload the dishwasher and she's like i want it sterilized because there's you know organisms and bacteria and i'm like well the bacteria once it's dry it's dry like listen if you are dressing a chicken on a plank by all means take that plank and put it sterilize it in the auto clay. But this is a glass. It's already done. You're washing

it. You've washed it. You've done 89% set it to the left. Hold on. Hold on. Just hold on. And then she goes, I just want it sterilized. And I said, it is sterilized. It's fine. It'll be dry. And the bacteria can't survive. Once it's dry, Drew,

am I right? When something is dry, it's dry. There is no more bacteria. That plate was used to sushi off of rinse it off wipe it down and set it to the left don't load it up and she just goes this is what I like and I said look I just read a study where they did a thing where they took a they took a bacteria and they put it in a workplace an inert one but one one they could trade it spread it around spread around where did it all land it all landed on the handle of the coffee pot why wouldn't everyone goes there that's where everyone goes

Right. Nobody would think twice about pouring themselves a cup of coffee and then without washing their hands, reaching in and grabbing a bagel or donut or muffin and walking back to their desk and sitting down and eating that bagel and donut with that same hand, right? Okay. So if you want to know where the bacteria is, that's where it is. If you'd like to know where it's not, I'll tell you where it's not. I want to do it this way. In which case, it starts to turn into an argument. And then I have to chime in and say, I'm not interested in proving you wrong, and I'm not interested in browbeating you. I'm interested in you not having to work twice as hard loading the dishwasher and unloading the dishwasher. I only want the truth, statistically. Your nanny loves the dishwasher. Huh?

Your nanny unloads the dishwasher. Probably. Either way. Otherwise, she'll be listening. No. Whoever's doing. Why? By the way, I don't like the confusion part where I'm looking for a glass and I open it and I have to hold it up and go, is this?

And then you smell it. Okay, just said it over here. Well, I'm not making any of this up. Yeah. I just want what's easiest. What's best? Two comments. Ready?

What's right? Yes. Two comments. One, I've got a good friend's restaurateur. He will not have a dishwasher in his home for that reason. He says, you take every dish, you wash it, you scrub it, and then you put it in the dishwasher. So forget the dishwasher. I sat here on my show between Alson and Brian, and they're both like, no, no, no, no. You goes in the dishwasher.

I'm like, you're washing it. You're washing it already. But you're getting at something profound, which is I've been working on it. I've been thinking about this all weekend, which is cultural rituals and cultural learning. That when some people mimic what they think they're supposed to do, it's called cultural learning. And it turns out we do way more of that than we realize. Even like engineers, they looked at engineers and how they learned. Turned out they were like doing certain behaviors that are unrelated to the solving of whatever math problem they're doing.

But you just do it that way because you're superior taught. do it that way. And we start when we're about age two doing this. Like if you said, honey, we always put the pen in the container right here, and here's how we do it, click our fingers twice and put it in. The kid will click his fingers twice every time he puts his pen on that container. Right. There's something about the, and this has evolutionary advantage, right? I mean, sure. Language and, you know, things would be transmitted in these sort of rituals. And rituals could also get transmit trauma, which is something I believe. Like, you know, why do the Jews do the

Passover ritual every year. Well, 3,000 years ago, they got traumatized. And so we have to act it out every year and do the same damn thing. And it's more effective it turns out than memory. Like we're trying to remember how to do it. It's kind of hard. But having a ritual, well, we just all do it that way. And so it sustains

on its own. Right. So this is where it all comes from. It's bullshit. There's no rational reason for it. It's cultural behavior. Understood. Now, you're right. Knock it off. Now knock it off. But it begs his question, which is the truth. and the details about how bacteria spread.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not interested. In a weird way, this fucking social media has become all about that, too. Not interested in the truth. No, I'm sure when you talk to people in the audiences, Doug, that they don't give a fuck. I'm sure they told you you just said something that you didn't say. You know, just immediate seconds afterwards. Yeah, there's a point in the special where somebody tweets me, you know, you're making an hour-long

special and you're doing it with a wobbly mic. stand, and then I stepped back and let go with the mic stand. It was perfect. I was like, no, I'm the wobbly one, dude. I'm the one that's been wobbling this whole time. He's using it to steady himself. That's his stroke cane. He should put a bunch of tennis balls at the bottom of it.

All right, no, wait a minute. Let's see if Wilmer. Wilmer? Yeah, thanks. That's it. Both of you guys got exactly to, like, the both sides of why I was asking that question. So I really appreciate it. Yeah, it's an interesting question.

It really is. And I think it's more pertinent now than maybe ever because no one is interested. I had this conversation with myself. I did Mark Merritt's podcast. It went up today, right? And in it, I explained lots of shit that's out in social media that's all bullshit. And I just drive – and Mark had lots of questions about it. So I answered his questions.

And then, of course, social media spins the old stories again and not interested in listening because, man, I don't listen. I don't want to hear the truth. I would just want to spin the story that I know. Right. Fuck. It surprised me insane. Well, it shouldn't. It does.

I know. Why don't you, if you just, Adam, if you're just drinking vodka out of a glass, why don't you just rinse it out and put it over there and not even discuss it with her? I do every night. Perfect. I, I, every one of my plates, every time I do something, I just rinse it off. You know what? So you save her the trouble, and she does it her dumb way with her stuff.

Crazy ritual that people do is they go to the fucking post office. Oh, no. There's no reason to go to the post office anymore because you have stompsstamps.com. All right. Uh, the, you know, maybe, and maybe this is, uh, true. Hmm. Dig. Mm. I feel that I've, um, benefited quite a bit from my early mechanical background.

Right. That I had so much, so much of building is so, it's, it's the ultimate and pragmatism. Right. It's the ultimate in – it's a – building is, first off, very concrete, pardon the pun, but it's also look down the road 10 steps. Right, it's like chess a little bit. It's like chess, right, for dumb people. But yes, it is – if you're pouring a footing, you better put all those J-bolts down because at a certain point you're going to start framing on top of that foot. and where are your bolts that's going to bolt your framing down here, whatever.

And you better figure out where you're going to place them. Don't put them right in the corner at the end. That's where the studs are going. Is a lot of that stuff sort of set by contractor requirements, city requirements, things like that? Some of it is code. Code, yeah, yeah. And a lot of it is just sort of good judgment, I guess. Horse sense meets repetition.

Yeah. But there's a whole lot of, like, do this first, don't do it second, you know, is as basic as this. If you're putting on roof shingles, start at the bottom and go to the top because you overlap. You don't start at the top and work your way down. The overlap's going the wrong direction. But there are certain things that affect you way down the road. And if you're framing out your doors and windows and you're doing your rough openings and you're going to order those doors and windows and they have a six, week lead time. They better all fucking fit when they all show up on a truck one day. And if you

didn't frame it out correctly, not too big, but certainly not too small. So there's a lot of real hardcore stuff. And I guess for me, the first time I cut, let's say, a vinyl coated piece of wood, like what they would use in a custom closet, the white stuff, you know, Cortron that would call it, or melamine. It's a pre-coded vinyl stuff. All right. The first time I cut it, I was cutting it with a circular saw, and the guy said the side that comes out better is the bottom side. The top side has more chips. It chips it out. The way the blade is turning, it's a smoother, cleaner cut on the bottom than the top.

So instead of making your line and cutting it, flip it over, make your line, because that'll be a better, that'll give you a better edge. The one that's exposed, the service is at the bottom. I didn't go, hey man, you're not the boss of me, man. I've been doing it this way, and this is the way I do it. I went, good news. Thank you. And from this day forth, I shall do it that way. Or somebody could have come up to me and said, you know what,

it'll stop the chip out on that Cortron or melamine, draw your line and then score it. Get a straight edge. Oh, man, night and day. get a straight edge and take a utility knife and drag it along that line and literally score it. And then when you run your blade along it, when your circular saw, it doesn't chip out. I mean, it cuts it down 90%. Again, the response was not, hey, man, the response was, thank you, we'll do. Done and done and done.

And from that day forth, that's the way it was done. And by the way, anyone who came in underneath me, when it was time to cut the Cortron or the melamine, Guess who got the same advice? And the answer was thank you. Now, I don't feel like enough people have worked in a real world environment, meaning medicine is very much this way. Building is this way. There's no like, hey man, there's just this is it. This is the way you do it.

That's the way it works. So you get a brain, you get a mindset that when somebody walks up to you and taps you on the shoulder and says, there's a better way to do what you're doing and you're wasting your time doing it this way where you're very receptive to that for selfish reasons by the way for reasons that make me want to not have my laminated three-quarter MDF chip out that's for me yeah why and what happened And I know, Drew, a lot of it is all this fucking, you know, Reebok, this is your world, and we're just living in it kind of thing. So that tells everybody not to listen to anybody when it comes to anything.

But we have lost that. Well, we've also gotten to a world of relativism. A lot of that's come back in again. You know what I mean? Well, that's your version. Well, there's a lot of, well, it doesn't chip out every time I cut it. It's like, yeah, I know. But most times it's better to do it.

it this way. Well, I can be really careful. Or you can just shut the fuck up and do it the way I'm telling you to do it. Yeah. And by the way, I'm not yelling it at you. I'm just telling you. Why? Why the pushback? And then... Maybe Doug. Doug... Doug's out of social.

Yeah, I know. And then why is there... Why is there so much of you wrapped into nothing? Fucking nothing. Right. You know what I mean? Like, if somebody's coming by

and all I'm doing is fucking nothing and try and they correct me why do I take it as why am I taking such a stand over rinsing out dishes or something that's nothing now obviously when people come up to you and they go look let me give you some big sweeping notes on your approach to comedy well that's a different conversation yeah but but why the hard stance on nothing and why so much of you wrapped up into nothing it's a great Great question. Well, you know, but it bleeds. Speaking of nothing.

Yeah, I've done nothing. It bleeds into me a little for a little bit with me the anger in the pot legalizing pot, not even legalizing pot group, the glorifying pot group. They get angry. So furious if you even talk about it differently than they think about it. You're not allowed to. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of rules when it comes to marijuana that I've been learning over the years. Why?

Right. I don't know why. It's the same thing we've been talking about. These, like, rituals and things happen, and then people just really stick to it and become serious about it. Because when I started doing the show where we, you know, smoke on camera that getting dug with high, when we started doing that show, like, I'd pick up a pipe and take a hit and pass it to somebody. And then the message boards would light up with, why are you offering your guest a hit that's not the green hit? What? The first hit of a bowl is considered the, I'm learning this stuff. After smoking pot for years and years and years, I'm learning all this etiquette stuff that I never gave a shit about.

Me and my friends hang out, we get high. Who cares who takes the first hit? Why so personally affronted? I don't know why they, because it's how they do it. And it's suddenly now I'm in their living room doing it the wrong way, so they have to tell me. But they're not explaining something to me that's going to improve our lives. It doesn't matter who takes the first hit. The marijuana is here, and we can all have as much as we want.

want you know but it is an etiquette thing that at the same time i get it but i get why those things exist but it's not just the etiquette part it's all aspects of it yeah no it just they're very i could smoke you under the table my weed's better than you our city's weed is better than your city's weed like everywhere i go can't say anything it never stops but and you but bragging and the excitement over what is ultimately just going to get you high and quiet and right you know and maybe chatty. But bed online. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show. Football season is in full swing and there's no better place to get in on the action than bet online. Your number one source for all things football. Bet online gives you more ways to play with the latest odds, breaking news, live

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Stream now, pay never. But see, Drew, what you walk away with, and you're walking away with, you can't say anything. My argument is you can say whatever the fuck you want, because now it's just the fucking Wild West and who gives a fuck. If you can't open your mouth without being critiqued or without having the words twisted about and shoved back in your face, the answer is not close your mouth. The answer is open your mouth wider and say whatever the fuck you want because it's all just getting taught. I mean, the point is this, we're living now in a place in a time when Bill Mars are racist. Would you see this thing? Yeah, I did.

I did. And I'm just saying Bill Maher, the guy who smokes weed, couldn't, you know, there's a little left of Ariana Huffington and exclusively dates women of other cultures. I don't think he's dated a blue-eyed chick in 25 years. He gets to be a racist, okay? So now it's on. I mean, if Bill Maher, if the comedian pot smoking confirmed bachelor, gave a million dollars to the Democratic Party

and goes there on Huffington's every one of her cocktail parties and all this charities have to do with animals and only dates Asian women who he introduces as his lady friends if he can be a racist then it's completely and utterly on and as I always say

never been a better time to be a real racist because you can't yeah they're hidden about all the bullshit they're busy fucking tearing Bill Marr are a new asshole, you're showing a hood, and they're all focused on him. I mean, it is a fucking, it is a fucking salad days for actual racism. Because they're chasing around Alec Baldwin and Bill Maher. It goes to that point about how the right used the communist moniker in, no, I want to hear

this. All right, all right. Because you couldn't find the real communist because they were busy calling everybody a communist. Right. Well, I'll tell you what you should do. You should call everyone at Prosper.com. What?

Try to get a loan. Home improvement. We're just talking about that. Credit cards paid off, a business startup. It's hard. There's trouble, man. Like I always say, no such thing is good credit. Only bad credit and no credit.

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All personal loans are made by Web Bank, a Utah Chartered Industrial Bank, member FDIC, Equal Opportunity Lender. All right, so you wanted to see Bill Maher. Yeah, I wanted to see this. I heard about it. I didn't see it. It's where they go at it a little bit. You've got this up here, right, Carrie? Gary whacked it up a little bit.

I had them do it. It's about a minute long. Let's listen. I know that in many places in the world, if you left your religion, what would happen? Guess what? Let me tell you something. Many people in Tunisia? You could walk inside a door in Gaza and say, you know what, I'm a Presbyterian today.

Maybe not in Gaza, to be honest, but you can do it in Jordan, you can do it in Lebanon. The majority of, you are blaming the majority for the criminal acts of a minority. Unfortunately, the majority are disorganized, and there's a small minority that are well organized, and they're controlling the earth. I have to move on. I'm happy that you move on, but I'm telling you, there's some people that most... If you would have said, some of the things that you would have said about African Americans and about Jews. Oh, there's a card. But African Americans and Jews.

Everyone collapsed. Like, no one's trotted that card out. Don't belong to a religion that wanted to kill Salman Rushdie for writing a book if we want to get back to the free speech issue. So I'm sorry, that's called false equivalency. Okay. Not all religions are enough. I have to move on. I'm so sorry.

She wouldn't let him move on. I had a funny realization while I was watching this. First off, I always love it when people make your point in their argument, which is the last time he was getting into this, he was getting into it with Ben Affleck. And the two other guys he was arguing with was like, what do you mean they're not sensible voices talking about the dangers of radical Islam and ISIS? I had my friend Chuck, he spoke out against it. He got shot in the face. Then there was my other buddy, Lenny. He's been in prison for 10 years.

Then what about that courageous school girl? Remember the 14-year-old when they walked out to the bus and shot her in the face? Don't tell me they're not reasonable voices speaking out against this religion. It's like, yeah, you just gave me a long list of people who been shot in the face for speaking out against this religion. So thank you for making my... violence point. You've done a very nice job. I like the way you mix it up. One guy's dead. One guy's in prison and the other girl got shot in the face. So thank you for making my point. Now, she makes the point where she goes, and by the way, her name is Rula Jabriel, I think, but I had this

funny thing. Every time Bill went, okay, thank you. Let's agree to disagree. Now, I need to move on with the show. She went, oh, you can move on with your show, but you can't move on. This is not a debate if you want to take a debate you know it's like okay I understand but you know he's looking at a clock yes course right commercials coming up but I realized after she interrupted him for like the 26th time I wouldn't let it go I was like oh wait a minute she's hot right and I'm used to seeing the hot blonde who never knows when to shut fucking shut up because no one in her life ever went bitch shut up we're trying to talk here you know because she's a hot blonde and it's been hot her whole life and when hot chicks they don't get

governed. You know what I mean? Like fat chicks get governed. And I kept staring there and I went, well, she's not a hot blonde, but she's hot. And thus, there's not been too many cocktail parties where people went, sweetie, zip it, would you? It's gone on too long because she's very attractive. And I think that has something to do with her waxing on. Her point in this thing is it is not the majority, it is the minority of Muslims, right, radical Islam, right? Who cannot be governed by a disorganized majority, which is, thank you. Okay, that's what we're saying. That's what's going on.

So, okay, so if there was a small group of white supremacists in Plentywood, Montana, who were just going to go take over the White House, And we just let it go down. Who would that be on? You don't think they're groups inside of this country. There's cults all over the place. There's white supremacists all. There's the doomsday people who think the rapture's coming.

You know what we do? We send Janet Reno over to their fucking compound and we burn it to the fucking ground. That's what we do to those people. Cards and letters. What's an address here, everybody? Well, think about it. Yes, we have fringe elements. All over this country, we have people who believe that the rapture's coming, that if you don't...

And, by the way, we value free speech and want to give them the opportunity to go ahead and do their stuff. Just don't get out of control. We have people who would like to have a white America and a black America and divide country, you know, divide cities into zones. And we have all sorts of cooks, right? Yeah. But guess who doesn't let them run amok? they're not taking over the government, they're not taking over the military, they're not taking over the streets of our neighborhoods because we have sensible, fairly minded people who will never

let that, not on our watch, not on the government, say what you want about the government, the crazy cooks in Montana who are the white supremacists, they don't get to call the shots. We stop them. They're not being stopped. That's basically what, Bill is saying, you have enough people who maybe passively agree with what the crazy white supremacists are doing to not stop them from taking over the White House. That's her point. That's my point. That's his point.

Doug. They just keep having that conversation over and over again. And Bill Maher, that's what I've noticed watching his show over the years, is that, you know, if you're a sexy pundit, that's where you're going to definitely end up because he wants to have attractive women sitting there. there to argue with. That's why what's her name, what's the, Anne Coulter, has been on the show for years. And he obviously doesn't agree with a word the woman ever says.

Right. But he'll have her on and argue with her because at least when she first started appearing, she was, you know, pretty hot. Well, there's nothing better. They probably age out of it except for Arianna Huffington. She'll keep having her on. Yeah. Well, they, they, anyone, by the way, those shows are looking for people who bring it, so to speak. Drew knows how this one.

television show. Yeah, absolutely. They've got to look good and you've got to, you know, be ready to get in there and dig in and fight. All right. Let's see. Got to wrap it up pretty soon. A bunch of live shows, and you can go to Adam Crolla.com and see where those bunch of

live shows are going to be. Doug's got a bunch of live shows at Douglovesmovies.com. I was about to do that. Okay. And I think whether you want to do the podcast, whether you want to do the live show, whether you want to do the stand-up special, the one-hour stand-up special, Doug Dynasty, again, premieres today on Netflix. I think what you should do is just go to duglovesmovies.com, right?

Yeah, that's where it all is. That's where the hub is. Speaking of why the terrorists hate us, Mangria. Red, white, and broset, three-pack, all shipped, and shipping included, $49.99, and get going on this, people, because I'm told it was a horrible idea and that we're not making any money. Who named the broset?

What did that name come? You did. Fan tweeted it. A fan tweeted it. Yeah. That makes sense. It's a good name. Thank you.

No, I did not. That's when you take the red and the white, you can mind it. But you go to Corolla drinks, and like I said, it's not going to be around forever because I don't think we're going to afford it. Shipping's expensive, it turns out. Adam and Drew, if you'd like to support us, you can go to Adam and Dr. Dr. Drew Show.com and help us get back to zero. Click through the Amazon banner, hit the PayPal.

Give a little little juju. It's a good juju, man. If you type in Dr. D.O.C. No. Won't work. It won't work. So definitely DR. Yeah.

D.R. So until next time, is Adam Krola for Doug Benson, Dr. Drew, Chris Max Patta. You're after saying, Mahala. This September, CBS hits are streaming free on Pluto TV. I'm coming in high. For this month only, you can watch full seasons of the CBS shows you love. From the courtroom drama of Madlock to the heroics of fire country. Go back to where it all began in NCIS origins.

Or watch the hilarious hauntings of ghosts all for free. Full seasons of the CBS shows you love. This month only on Pluto, TV. TV, stream now, pay never.