The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #231: Tiger Woods Envy

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

04/18/2015"Adam and Drew open the show with Adam assisting Drew in understanding a very confusing email chain between he and his wife Susan. After Adam helps Drew sort through the confusion they turn to the phone and start by addressing a caller who believes that all guys would screw around on their wives the way Tiger Woods did if they had the opportunity. They also talk to a caller who is worried about an upcoming surgery especially after having a hard recovery road after his last procedure and a guy in his mid 20s who is surrounded by friends settling down but doesn't feel ready yet himself."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla and board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice, better get it on mandate. Get it on. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you so much for supporting us. Thanks for giving us a nice rating on iTunes.

Fun watching us climb the charts. over there. Nice. All because of you guys. Oh, exclusively. Looking good, Trisky. Thank you, my friend. Mm-hmm.

Hey, help me out with something. You ready for this? Mm-hmm. My wife started an email thread with me that I cannot fucking make sense of, and I need your help. Mm-hmm. Are you willing to try? You seem to, you said to understand people's intent better than I do sometimes. Yeah, email's tough because you don't get to hear the tone and you don't get to, I've, I've, you and you and I were talking.

talking off the air about this, I have a thing that I find myself saying, I find myself saying this to people all the time. You know what I say to people like three times a day? Yeah. When we have our confusing conversations, I always go, I'm only talking about what we're talking about. You brought up the topic. I mean, people go like, what are we going to do about this Wednesday?

And you go, well, this Wednesday, we should be able to book a guest. And they go, hold on. We're talking about Wednesday or Sunday show? I go, it's only what we're brought up. It's only, I'm only talking about what you're talking about. That will always be. By the way, the day I'm talking about Sunday when you ask me about Wednesday show, that's the day I need to be fucking brought into an institution.

I'm only talking. Do you know how many times I have the conversation with people? But you, but, no, I'm not sure I won't have this conversation. No, but I'll have the comment. I swear to God, I'll go cross street. Are you having me? Nate and I'll talk to Nate and I'll go, listen, we got to get the cars over there for the Newman Dock and they'll go at the El Portao and they'll go, El Porta, are we talking about the indie showing on the 22nd? And I'll go, it's only what we're talking about.

The part you miss, though, there's some sort of holistic part of everyone's brains that you don't engage when you're thinking logically. You can think exclusively logically. And the rest of us include other cues and things we might have been thinking about. before and some aspect of what you brought up that we were already sort of worrying about in relation to the other event something it triggers some sort of on the emotional visceral level that you can disconnect from and we're all we're all at the whim of you know what I've found I've found a lot of it is there's a new gray area they used to call it lying but now there's something in between where you say to somebody I have these conversations with my wife

all the time where I go, did you take care of this and that and the other? And she'll go, I tried, but it didn't work out. I said, well, okay, if it didn't work out, then try this. Yeah. And then two months I'll go by and I'll go, what's going on with that? And she'll go, I tried to blah, blah, blah. And I'll go, did you really? No, no, that, yeah, you tried the first thing.

Yeah. But then what about the second thing? Oh. I said, we already had this conversation. Well, there's this, the lying part you're talking about it, where they go, why are you getting on me about that? They don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, The lying part is you and I both know we tried the first thing and it didn't work out.

Don't spit that one back out again. We then moved on to plan B. That was not executed. But they don't let you, they don't say they didn't. They always go, why are you all such a, you're so difficult. They don't say, I didn't do it. Right. All right.

So the email thread. So here's email thread. I really am trying to trouble with this. The title of the thread, and it's the same title all the way through, is invoice 0190. attached is an invoice. It's an invoice for an upholstery charge for a couple thousand dollars. And she sends me an email. She's out of town.

Can you make a check out? Well, actually, there's an error here. Can you make a check and out in mail from Susan Adrew account for the chairs? Okay. For that? For that, you have the amount. And I said, so I was a little bit like, you have the amount. I have the invoice.

I have the amount. Right. And I have what it's for. With the address. Not really. I wasn't clear where I was to send it. Well, the address on the invoice, right? Hold on.

I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon. I had trouble opening it on my phone. I couldn't quite see it on my phone. But that doesn't, I get it. So I couldn't see what the amount was or where to send it. Understood, but that's not really on her. Not yet, right.

She said you the invoice. So I sent an email back. I said, hang on, I can't get it to open. And then no response. And I said, oh, wait, I got it. And she says, okay, good, because we need a deposit of $1,095 check from Susan and Drew. All right. So, all right.

Well, that she should have included a little earlier on in the discussion. Is that now a second thing? Deposit to what account? She said her initial one was pay the invoice. It didn't say that. It said, here's the invoice. Okay. Here we go back.

So, can you make a check? Checkout. Can you make a checkout? All right. Mail from Susan and Drew, account for the chairs. That we got. Count for the chairs. Okay. That's it. I'm going to use my brain. Okay, let's go. Do you own the chairs and as the job complete? Don't know if the job's complete. I doubt it, but we own the chairs. All right. So the chairs are most likely still at the place. Yeah. Meaning they're not in your living room. So you don't need to pay in full. Right.

Per se. Yeah. You could pay in full. But what I'm saying, is if you were sitting on that chair last night, it would make sense to me that the invoice is for the full amount. Yes. Because the job is completed. Right now, they're saying half now and half when it's the other half.

So that's the 1095. She's a little bit confusing, but it's not too bad. What she's saying is here's the invoice for the full amount. They need a check to get started. Right. But now it's, we need deposit for the same thing. Where? Deposit where?

The same address with the invoice. No. Oh, deposit to them. Yes. We need a deposit. Ah, deposit for the work. Got it. I thought you needed deposit to cover the work.

This is tarred on tarred crime. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay. Mm-hmm. Need deposit. Check for the, okay. So, okay. So, okay, fine.

Now, I'm with you. Now, you've helped me. You're calling it an invoice. Is it an invoice? Because an invoice is an invoice, and an estimate is an estimate. It was called an invoice. She probably made a mistake. calling it an invoice,

and she also made a mistake and not saying that you have to pay a deposit at the first go round. Because invoice, to me, and you can look, you can look this up, but this is, we're sitting at the table

and the waiter gives you the check. Yeah. And unfortunately, I still can't open it on this phone, and I can tell you how it's titled, but it looks very official. It looks like a bill. It looks like a bill.

So, and it's to the penny. It's like 0.95. You know what I mean? It was like, It sounds to me like the number she's talking about is half of what that invoice is. I think that's probably true. Okay. So I send an email back. Well, by the way, let me stop very quickly and say this. If there's ever any confusion, like this number, I got this number over here and I got that number over there. I have words like invoice use and I have words like estimate or words like deposit and things like that.

if you do a thing where the invoice is 2252 and then you look back and you realize the deposit they want is $1,126. Yeah. You go, that's exactly half. Yeah, yeah. And it can't be a coincidence that it's exactly, that this random number, it's not, give me $1,000 to get started. No, it has meaning. It's a, it's a, the number that she wants you to send in. How much?

1095. 1095. So I'll bet you that the invoice is for 21. If I'm going to forward it to Gary. 2190. And you can tell me what the amount is. 2190 is Adam's estimate. I'm forwarding this to Gary.

So Gary can't open it. Hold on one second. Don't give us the answer yet because I got more to say here. All right. So hold on. So I send back a note. I'm very good at math, aren't I? Yeah.

You're a carpenter. You're retarded this. aren't you? Isn't that right? You never took algebra. I was too stupid. I took high school math. Yes.

Sorry about using the hard word. So I sent an email back saying, okay, so write the check amount, write the check to the amount on the invoice, then send to the address on the invoice. And they get back. Now you fried a circuit in her brain. Well, I get back just the deposit. That's the response. She wants you. She sent you.

So I think I got it now, because you've clarified what that 1090. was, I thought it was a deposit to the bank. Like, when I think deposit, I think, oh, I'm depositing money. Yeah. She's, she's playing a little fast and loose with the verbiage. Yeah. And you're too precise. Yeah.

And you're also not accounting for the fact that she, you know, she speaks like Don King. But this is where the comedy goes. So I read another, I read another email. I still don't understand what to do here. Make a check for 10.95. All right. You filled in the part I didn't know. And then wait.

Then do what with it? Is my next email? Send it to that address. Mail it to the office. Mail it. When she says the office, she means... Well, we have only one the office in her life, and that's my medical office. Right, right.

That's the office. Right. That's where she... The checks are in New York. The chairs are in New York. The pollsters in New York. That's where she's coming up short. I think she means the office.

of the upholster. Yes. But it could also mean the office of the building where the chairs are, which is where the guy would pick the check up. But he'd also get it if I sent it to him, I suppose. The address that's on the invoice is where that check needs to be said. Now, I just sent her in the mail. Now, the fact that she says, the office, when you have a place in your life that is known as the office, that's your office. That is her being insane.

Now, but keep in mind. In her brain, you know everything. And in your brain, she should know you know nothing. Zero. And that's where the problem lies. But I keep sending emails back now going, here's how I understand it. Deposit a check to the bank for 1095. Use the Susan Adieu tank.

Send it to the office in South Pasadena. Don't know its attention to whom. Don't know what this is in regard to. Well, first things first, why would you send it to you? your office. Well, no, that's, no, don't, uh-huh, huh, you would never send it to your office. How many days a week do you go to your office? A couple days a week.

All right. But there's people staff there that might know something. They might know something. But every day, sorry, every week you go to the office. Oh, yeah. She would not tell you to send it to a place that you show up to over under three days. True, though we do send stuff there. We do do that.

Because an accountant will pick stuff up there occasionally. All right. I'd say, Gary, you can find out. Here's my big thing. The amount is, is the invoice for half the amount? So you said 10-1-8, 21-80? I said 21-90. 21-90.

Gary, the amount is? I'm sorry. I'm not sure. I don't want to give you the wrong information. What's on the invoice? There's an attachment. There's an attachment in there. The open the attachment.

And you're saying you want the total? Total amount of the bottom. 23-97-42. Uh-uh. $2,390. It's close. It's close. Yeah. It's close.

Why would it be $10.95? I don't know. And by the way, what's also freaked me, I was like, isn't, aren't there forms called 1095 forms? I started thinking, is she getting confused with that? This is where my brain takes off. I say, send the check to that address. 1095 is almost exactly half of the total total. No, we already did.

Oh, without tax. Without tax. It's almost exactly half. There you go. What is it without tax? Sorry. Without tax, it's $2,2, which if you have to that, it's $1,100. There you go.

Right. There you go. Still don't know why they didn't just give you $1,100, but either way. $10.95. Weird. Well, let me tell you something that's interesting, maybe. I do think businesses, there's no car dealer in the world that says this new car is $30,000. It's $29, $29, $29, $29, $9.

Yeah. They just $29.99.99.99. They just do it. There's no, there's nothing for sale that's $10,000. Yeah. It's $9,99.99. Yeah, that's weird. We're fucking dumb humans.

We just, and look, we all fall prey to it. Even I fall prey to it. If I see that thing starting with a nine versus 10, and by the way, getting in from four to five digits now, it fucks my shit up. Yeah, yeah. So we all do that. And I think even when these companies, like I said, Router companies, they never come out. They go, well, we'll root your main line out, $300.

They go, it was $287.21. And then when you're writing a check, you go, oh, okay, somebody's thought about this. They didn't think about it that much. And if they didn't, they go, well, that's parts and labor. Yeah, the parts were $8. It doesn't matter. $99. $8.99.

Yeah, you could say, if you want $250 or $300, you go, hey, this is a scam. You go, 287.21. You go, this guy's a professor. Knows what he's doing. The professor drives a van. So that's how it works. So I think when people, even with the pay the half, they go half's $1,100, and so I make it $10.95. Sounds better.

Yeah. All right. All right. You can start it. All right. So I'm going to send $10.95. And by the way, the title of that page, Gary, when you open it, does it say invoice at the top? Does it say, you know, bill do?

What is the title on that invoice? Invoice. Invoice. Invoice. And that's the fine invoice for us up here. a list of goods sent or services provided with a statement of the sum due for these a bill. But the presumption now here is the services have not yet been provided. Right.

So that's why she shouldn't have called it an invoice. Right. Okay. Oh, my God. Well, what would I do with the house? So I do this all day long, sadly. Do you understand why I'm confused? Chris, no? It's not as confusing to you guys it was to me.

The part where she doesn't describe that there is a different number that needs to be sent other than what's on the invoice is wildly confusing. The rest of it seemed pretty straightforward. And then send it where to the office? No, no. Her first goes to the address on the invoice. No, no. Address on the invoice. I understand.

I totally understand that. Send it to the office is insane. Now, here's the problem. Once you start rolling down retard highway, the, uh, the, uh, it starts, you start picking up momentum. So as the confusion starts, the confusion gains its own, its own momentum. Yes. And that's where this, that's, see, here's what I'm saying.

We should have never got to the part where she said the office. Yes, that's true. She should have said, here is, here, please send the check to the address on the top of this invoice for this. amount as a deposit. See, that's the way I work. That's the way I work, too. I need, like, if I'm going to be sending, executing a

task, I need the vital stats just to make sure I don't make a mistake. I believe that women believe that you should know what they're thinking. Yes. What much more

than men do. Yes. Women have a, and And this is a deep problem in relationship with men and women. Women believe you should know. And they do it in a feeling way. It starts back to that we should know how to make them have an orgasm, what they're feeling in a given moment, what they like, what they don't like. But they do stuff, like, I'll tell you what it is. They'll come home.

Am I not right about that? Yeah, no. Here's how it works. Here's how women work. They come home from work or from wherever. and they look like they're in a sullen mood and you go, what happened? And they go, she is such a bitch.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, yes, but no. Here's what I'm saying. They're in a sullen mood. And then you go, what's up? You see me in a bad mood? And they go, well, Deborah's, we just found out that Deborah's husband has cancer.

I'm pretty bummed out about it. And you go, are you okay? And they go, yeah, I'm okay. And then they go, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm leaving for work, but are you okay? You want me to cancel or whatever? No, no. No, go ahead.

I'm okay. Go ahead. So you listen. And you go ahead. You take them at their word. That's a huge mistake right there. Then later on, you come home from work. Maybe they're in bed watching TV.

You make a big mistake. You walk past them. Maybe you say something about work. About what a dickhead, Loxamana is or something. You lay out. You cert. Yeah, fuck. How was work?

Ah, fucking Loximana. a fucking guy. Max a Pat, is that. I mean, Max a Pat. What a fucking pain in the ass that kid is. Jesus Christ. And then you go into the shower.

Got that new resume podcast. Yeah. He's always promoting. He's just gives a shit about Adam. Doesn't give a fuck. He's gone fucking cowboy on me. Suckle off the teat of Adam Carolla. And you walk out in your bathrobe after the shower.

And they're still sitting there in the bed watching their show. And you go, I'm going to pour glass of wine. And they go, yeah, okay. And then the next day, they're giving you the silent treatment. Yeah. And then you're like, then it's certainly you say, what's up why are you so pissed off you know they go debor's husband has cancer okay and you go yeah I brought it up yesterday right yeah I asked if you were okay I said I'd stay home from work

you should have known how you know how important Deborah is to me she's one of my best friends and then you go I know that's why I asked I asked if you're doing up you're doing okay step that comes out very quick, which is, and you walked out of here coldly while I was suffering with the... The part I love is the recreation. You took your scarf and you've lifted over your shoulder. Good day, sir. Good day, sir.

And then slam the door and sped off into the night. It's like, I didn't do that. I had my sweatpants on, and I walked out of that house. I always done it. I didn't put the car in reverse and lay rubber down the back. I love the part. Always. You screamed.

You screamed, I'm working. I didn't scream. My work is more important than your bullshit feelings. I do love that part because it's like, that's how you felt. But no, I did not do that. But that's how it felt. Yeah. I mean, read that the memory, even as you think of it, feels that way.

It's not what happened. Feels that way. Right, right. Right. That's how foul. So guys have to understand is just because somebody said something or didn't say something, women expect you, and sometimes it's right and sometimes it's wrong. But women, let it be known that when you say to your man, I'm okay with this, whatever it is. When we ask, we check in.

We look at it as you're sitting in a giant hot tub and I just went, how's the temperature? And you went, it's good. Yeah. We're not going to come back and ask again. No. And we probably should. We probably, when we come home from work that night, instead of now walking past on our way to the bathroom on the routine or going straight to the computer and answering emails, we should go back and go, Deborah's one of your best friends. No, we would never do that.

We wouldn't. No, I'm saying we're not. We're not. We're not. I can't, I can only defend men on this one because really? You're normally such a pussy. No, I am. I normally bust balls on us.

But literally, we stick stuff in a category. You know, it's like, okay, that's done. It's like she's okay. It's tough. Done. I'll wait for her to initiate again. I'm there totally if she brings it up again. But that was done.

Well, I'm basing. The temperature in the hot tub was fine. Okay. I'm thinking. It's got a little momentum here. I like this. My point is, I don't think we're ever going to. going to coach up women to the point where we go, look, we don't know what you're thinking.

If you tell us you're fine, then we take it with you're fine. But it's closed at that point. It's close. It's really, I need to leave my key in the refrigerator time at that point. Like, I got to, I would have to do something to remember to bring it up again because I closed it. You will tell me when there's more news on Deborah. Right. We close that thing.

Now, if you said, I really need to talk about this, as soon as I said, can you wait until you get home? We'll talk about it then. It's open now. It's game on. I agree. Women don't think that way. They don't act that way. And we're not going to change that.

And so the problem is you who are compartmentalize everything, I who compartmentalize everything, when you walk through that door at the end of the night and your wife's propped up, I don't know why they always have to be. They could be cleaning or baking something. But anyway, they're watching. TV. When you walk through the door and they're propped up watching TV, that's your little window to stop and go, are you sure you're okay with the whole Deborah's husband thing? It's going to be hard for you. It'll be much better for the relationship. I'm not that dude. But I'm just saying we would need a prompt because it's not in us. You'd have to leave the key in the refrigerator. I see what you're saying. Yeah, you'd have to put something like as best as you're leaving,

leave something unusual out in your bathroom. So when you come back, go, why don't I leave that? I left it out to remember to talk about Deborah. Right. Because it would not automatically have it. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free.

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All right. Now, I had some calls up there. Max Panna. Some residuals as we call them. Mm-hmm. All right. That's one I didn't understand. Let's do that one.

I do. Patrick? Uh-oh. Hi, this is... Hello? Yeah. DC? Oh, I can't really hear you guys. Can you hear us now?

A little bit, yeah. All right. There we go. Here we go. All right. Hey, guys. Andrew, get it on. Get it on.

You guys are talking about guys and saying things and girls feeling things. I made this spooky statement. The other day with my fiancé, we're having a good chat. And then all of a sudden, I brought up how I think every man secretly is Tiger Woods, minus the success, athleticism. What? They want to fuck around. Oh.

Yeah. How'd that work out for you? Because Tiger Woods has the opportunity, he gets to act it out. Whereas me, I'm the, you know, I'm not, I don't have supermodels hitting me up, so I don't do it. Well, hang on now. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Now, I actually strongly disagree. I don't.

No, no, no, no, listen. I'm listening. If Tiger Woods were single and younger, he would be thinking like Patrick. But he had a super hot wife. He had kids. And for many men that no matter what the opportunity is, once you lay your bet down on a certain person and build a family, that can be prioritized above your penis, right? It can be. I'm just saying. But he's saying every man would do this. No, I think Tiger did that. And I think that's part of what the problem. That's why he fucked himself over. No. Watch the Frank Sinatra documentary, you know.

Travel meets stardom. I've said it many times. Look, this is why these guys in power and in the limelight historically cheat. The amount, I've always looked at it this way, Drew.

The number of citizens, let's just say males. What are you doing? emailing over there? I was just, I'm good. Come on. I'll wait until you put it down. The number of citizens that would bash in a car window and rip out a car stereo or briefcase or purse that was sitting on the passenger seat is very small. Very small.

I, you know, less than 2% of society of males, young men would bash in a car window, rip out the car stereo. The number of people that would find a wallet, just walking to their car out in the parking lot of the supermarket, see a wallet on the ground with cash, $200 worth of cash in it, who'd pick it up and would just return it without taking a 20 from it as a much smaller, a much larger group. Do you see what I'm saying? Now, remove the ID and just put the cash there. Okay. How many people are walking that back to the store and going, excuse me, one of your patrons here must have dropped this. Could you please take this and put it aside?

I understand what you're saying. But hang on. We got to listen to me. Let's say, though, the guy who came upon the cash is a community leader, a politician, a policeman, and values that and the role he's playing in the world more than the money. Now, we can start going through how much money. until it was a million dollars sitting there. And like, you know, it's... Yeah.

Then it's like, okay, now it's Kate Upton comes on to you. Okay, well, that's the million dollar version. Well, that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this. You value your standing in the community. You're definitely not bashing any windows in. Someone's going to hear that, see that cause of commotion. But when you pick up the wallet, you look to your left, you look to your right,

and you realize no one has seen me and I have cash in my hand. Yeah, but you're still doing what's right. You still value what you are more than the money. But listen, the late great John Ritter, I flew on an airplane with him. And he told me he was a little bummed out because a book came out where he was leaving, flying to New York, was in JFK, super attractive woman, like came up to him. And, oh, hey, you know, he was going through a divorce at the time, but actually with some. somebody with this new person. And he's the nicest guy in the world.

Yeah. And this super attractive chick went, oh, you're going, are you, what hotel you at? The beacon or whatever. Oh, I'm, you want to share a cab? Now, what do you say? No. Yeah. Get away from me, you witch.

Okay. So the next thing, you know, they're in a cab and it's a half, you know, 45 minute, hour drive, you're talking, you know. And then you get to the beacon and where you check in. about 18 feet from the bar. You know where I'm heading here. Yeah, yeah. And she says, you want to have a scotch?

Yeah. You're not doing before. You know what you got to do. You got to be anywhere? Are you cool? You want to have a drink? And she's hot. And you're in New York.

Yeah. And whoever's back in L.A. And she's the super hot chick wants to know if you want to fucking have a scotch over there before you go back. All you're doing when you get to your room is beating off, by the way. So you're, next thing you know, you're having a fucking scotch. Yeah, yeah. And, but that's, people shouldn't let that. train leave the station. That's the problem.

It's hard when you want to take the cab. I don't know how many of us wouldn't share a cab. No, I know. If a nice guy came up to me and said, do you want to share a cab, I'd do it. Listen, I totally understand. But I think the argument we should be having is about the money in the street. Well, what I'm saying is, is John Ritter, if he's not John Ritter, is just getting on the shuttle with the rest of the slubs and going to the hotel. It's a much different situation. have being solicited by beautiful women and having to push them away when you're on the road. This is where we go from the bashed window to find the cash. It takes a certain breed of cat to pick that cash up and walk it back into the store.

Yes. But now... Now, that's better. By the way, that's better. You're a better person for doing that. You're a happier person. Yeah. It's a better life.

Yeah. You really are. bucks, you're not spending it on anything. But being the kind of person that hands it to the store manager, you get something from that. But now there's surveillance cameras everywhere. Well, forget it now. Right. So people are going to take your picture

with this chick. Are people going to see you taking that money? Listen. When you watch that Sinatra doc and he's like, well, Sinatra was fucking Ginny Lynn over here, but so was JFK. And she was

well, actually, she was Sinatra's ex-girl, and now he's fucking her, but Sam Giacano's fucking her, too, and he's a mob boss. So, you know, the Kennedy's now, Robert Kennedy was not, you know, happy, because he's trying to bust Gene Cano. He had to tell you, hey, you got to stop fucking

the mob guy's got a gumas. He's married, too, I'm sure. Sam Giancano's a married guy. I'm sure he's a married guy, but anyway, he's gumma. You know, the chick he's fucking, the mob guy. Well, the president of the United States is fucking the same chick. So his brother, whose attorney general is like, hey, bro, I'm trying to fuck the guy with the

wayfares over there. I'm trying to indict this guy. Yeah. On racketeering charges. And you fucking his girlfriend is kind of, it's mudding the water just a little bit. your name keeps coming up. So maybe why don't you just pull out and stop banging the mob boss? So weird.

This is, oh, this is why whenever they do the Camelot thing, I'm like, yeah, he was bringing interns into the pool and telling them to blow guys who worked for him. Injected with amphetamines and opiates. I don't care about function. I don't know how that guy function. I'm just telling you. He's Mint Mobile. Wow, I like keeping my money where I can see it. And after years of overpaying for wireless,

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New customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. So now I agree with you, Drew, in terms of the technology. Not so much the technology, you brought up now there's a camera in the parking lot

and we can see surveillance film. We may or may not check it. I think the argument really can revolve around what's your price? In other words, at what threshold is somebody going to take that risk? Like a million dollars becomes Linda, I mean, Kate Upton and a million dollars should go to the same.

You know what I'm saying? No, I agree. And, you know, here's the deal. Back in the day, Sinatra just banged around. Then he went home. You don't worry about it. And there were no consequences. Sometimes a newspaper would write something, whatever.

who the fuck cares? I'm balls deep in a starlight, you know? And then he'd just go home and his wife had to sort of work around it. Yeah. Had to deal with it. Now, a day's... By the way, they would even... They would sort of defend it so he's a special man.

If you want to be with a special man, you've got to be willing to put up with this kind of thing. Yeah, God bless him. Especially the fucking narcissistic sex addict. Well, it is... No, I've always said, we fucked up. And by the way, Gary, you got to figure out... California law because my my theory is that whenever this you're going to get half of the empire thing came around guy started straighting out putting their dicks back in their pants because

because I really think I think Sinatra's thing would be like you know oh you want a divorce have fun living in an apartment back in Hoboken yeah well not it's not that anymore it's you have to move out of the ranch that you purchase and Toluca Lake and you can can go live in an apartment over there. There's something changed along the way because... Well, that's probably good. It is... From that standpoint, anyway.

It's good from that standpoint. I don't think it's good from the wifey standpoint in terms of on the ball. And, okay. And that's interesting. But you always complain about that. No, no. I think what we did... I understand.

is we said to the wives of the privileged, look, here's your golden parachute. If any, you, if you ever feel like this is not going the way you'd like to go, you can remain here and the guy's just going to leave. And you'll take half of whatever, whatever it is, he's killed himself to earn over the last 15 years or whatever, whatever it is. But this, my mind you, the same thing goes the other way if the women's the primary breadwinner. I love it. It just does.

It just does. I know. I love it. That's my favorite story. But because I love it how fucking outrage. How angry the chicks get? Yeah. Because like, yeah, are you feeling this?

You feeling this? Yeah. Sister? I like that. But here's a deal. There is no group on the planet. It does not work. You know, look at the American Indians.

Hey, here's a nice chunk of land. Don't worry. You don't have to work. Great. Give me the fire water. I'll see if I can get diabetes. Honestly. We did to the people on the island of bikini.

We moved them all off the fucking bikini island because we wanted to blow it up. Yeah. Wanted to do a little testing on an A bomb. So we're like, hey, islanders, good news. Bad news, you've got to leave. You're not going to live off of fishing anymore. Good news will take care of. Good news is we'll put you on another island.

I'll just give you a bunch of booze and a stipend. You can hang out there. Next thing you know, the guys are fat shooting pool all day. You can't say to any group, men, woman, I don't care, whatever your nationalities, how hardworking are, whatever. Here's the underlying current of this relationship. If you ever find yourself not liking it, you get the house. You get the kids.

You get the money. You get everything and not expected to affect them. Everything affects everything. I mean, right? We need to be more diligent about that because a law of unintended effects. But, but hang on the deal. Tiger, I would argue. not so happy having fucked his family up and all that.

I would say he'd be a much happier guy. I mean, how much, you've seen his wife? I mean, where's he going? What's the deal? Listen, there's nothing better than different. I understand that, but a certain age it becomes like, no, no, at a certain age. Yeah. At a certain age.

I agree. Unfortunately, when Tiger was doing this, he was 32. That ain't the age yet. 52 is more the age. Yeah, look, he's. married a very, very beautiful blonde. Exquisitely beautiful. But as I think historically, we've, you know, Jackie O was no five either.

It's I got the power. I'm in another city and I do what I want. And by the way, part of, you know, let's face it, people, you know, guys do the part of becoming the youngest person ever win the Masters or the President of the United States. It's not all about driving a Ferrari. Well, it's why you drive the Ferrari. About driving some fresh bussy. Why are you doing? Let's do line five.

All right. All right. Greg? Yeah. Sorry. What's going on? What's going on? What's up?

You there? Yeah. What's up? Oh, who's this? Adam? Yes. Who'd you call, Greg? Adam, Dr. Drew.

Big fan, big fan. Adam loved Roadhart. I bought it. They sat down, watched it. made my wife watch it, loved as much as any Albert Brooks movie. Oh, wow. My praise. Did your wife enjoy it?

My wife loved it, and her parting comment was a very, very sweet movie as well, beyond all the jokes. Oh. Beyond all the jokes. He wasn't doing for sweet. Adam, I've heard you talk about surgery in the past and how you were hanging doors a day later. I'm trying to get my mind ready for upcoming shoulder surgery. 13 hours later, but, yes, technically the following day. The only thing I can compare it to that I went through was my vasectomy five years ago when the guy said you'll be fine in two days.

And two weeks later, it looked like they forced me to play goalie in the NHL All-Star game with my hands tied behind my back in my testicular region repeatedly pounded. Wow, you paint pictures. Any advice going into shoulder surgery? And I know, like you've mentioned, it's, you know, me thinking of the now-now versus the future now. and this is all very easy and very normal. Slow down here. So here's the thing. Hold on a second.

Drew. I've said it many times. Everybody reacts differently to pain. You and I rack. And that's just pain, but to surgery. You and I react very differently to the exact same procedure. I'm not, for me, I try to explain to people, even though I am technically a hero. This is not intestinal fortitude that got me out of the bed the next day and some sort of John Wayne based.

Grit. You just could. I woke up and I went, I feel fine. Yeah. And Lynette said, where are you going? You just got surgery. And I said, I'll, I feel fine. And by the way, if I don't feel fine, I'll stop doing what I'm doing.

My body will tell me to stop if, in fact, I need to stop. But until then, because I feel fine, I'm going to move on. The other hand, was having violent rigors and couldn't move and couldn't even sit up. And it was a mess. And by the way, I'm thinking, after having my prostate surgery, that my main reaction is to anesthesia. I'm really very passionate lightway. Passionate but lightweight. And I swear to Christ, it took me six months to come back from last evening.

I'm not kidding. Fuck you. It was not fun. So our push friend Greg might have a similar thing, it's all I'm saying. Yeah, well also, Greg is building this thing up to such an extent. I think he's saying he's not. He's like pushing it away. No, no, but he's saying when I had my last surgery, this is what happened.

this is how I react and now I'm very much concerned about it. Go, I, I, it's going to be difficult because people react differently. And the thing is, there is a physiological component to this, but there's also psychological component to it. There's a component. All right. Component. I wish.

And, well. I wish it were more psychological. Well, you are probably a little more in touch than most. Right. But for a lot of people, there's a physiological thing. Yeah. What I'm saying, at Surty. Psychological.

Yeah. I woke up the next morning and knew I had surgery and knew everyone told me to lay in bed for two days. That was fine. But I also knew that I felt completely fine. And I did not let my psychological override my physiological. My physiological felt fine. I just got up, went to work. And I also trust things, which is I know doctors tell everyone to stay in bed for two days.

Why do they give a fuck? You know what I mean? If you're a professional skateboarder and you get a fracture of your pelvic, or your form or whatever. The doctor, I tell you, no more skateboarding. Okay, no more doctoring. You know what I mean? That's how I make my living.

There's a certain, oh, I mean, no more for good. Yeah. I mean, sometimes they'll just go stay off the skateboard. It's like, listen, that's like I can't stay home from work for six months. I have to go back. I have to get up. I have to do things, you know. And their mind, play it safe.

Yeah. So what they do is, well, this doesn't affect Adam Carolla. It does affect Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, it affected for two weeks. Adam Carolla affected for 10 minutes. I'll meet you in the middle. Stay in bed for a week. Yeah.

That's what they tell everybody. Yeah. You listen to your body. Yeah. And what I want to say to Greg, and my favorite thing is when people go, oh, oh, don't shake my hand. I got a cold. I go, put her there, man. I don't get sick.

Put her there. And they go, oh, I got that thing that's going around. I go, never stops here. So it's always going around. Never stops on me. To be fair, how would you ever know if you got a cold? Your nose is always congested. Oh, please.

You always have mucous. Greg. back your throat. Thank you guys. Listen, listen, don't freak yourself out. Don't psych yourself out. It's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing.

It'll be a thing. But let's not decide that you're a victim going into this thing. Not that you're saying you were, but just go in going, I'm a fucking tough ombre. I get up, I go to work. Will the doctor laugh if I tell him the irony of having the vasectomy and I can barely use that organ? Now I can no longer use my right hand. No, no, no, no. And just tell them to call you, Andre.

Craig's making a joke. Just have the mindset. I mean, I fucking went and crashed a car, but when I got my knee surgery. Then you have to, oh, no, it was the, before. The nurse, I got into, I had knee surgery on a Friday, and I had a Coronado vintage car race on Saturday and Sunday. Maybe it was Thursday. I don't know. I haven't had knee surgery.

The tech. The nurse and I were sitting around talking. And she said, I like cars. You like cars too, right? She said, yeah. She said, I'm going down to Coronado. She told me, I'm going down to Coronado to do the vintage race. See, the vintage race on Saturday Sunday.

I said, oh, I'll see you there. She goes, you're going? I said, I'm driving. You're not driving. You're getting surgery. I said, I'm driving. You can't drive? I said, listen, I'm fine.

I'm driving. I drove into a concrete barrier. Because you were fucked up from the surgery or just happened to? No, because. I spent a little too much. I was I was dicing it up. Yeah, I'll tell you what I did. I jumped in the car and just started 100%.

I didn't groove into it. I didn't ease into it. I started dicing it up with this Porsche. The guy was getting a little aggressive. I started getting a little aggressive back. And I should have just went, take it. After you, sir. Take it slow.

Yeah, I was actually, once I profile a driver, I do it on the street, but I'll do it on a track too. Once I see how a guy is wired, I'll see how he's wired almost immediately. And then if I see him in my rear, I'll know whether this guy's one of those guys that's going to do something that's aggressive or not. And I'm spending a little too much time in the mirror and not enough time looking out for this concrete barrier. But anyway, I did. I told her I'll see it to track this weekend. It was probably shouldn't have. But here's my point. Heavyweight. No, my point is, is do not ever been saying this a lot.

Don't paint yourself as a victim. Don't say, don't do that thing where you go, oh, no, no, I don't want to shake your hand because if I get sick, I'm white. It'll destroy me for two weeks. I don't like that. I don't disagree with your, the attitude. But Jesus Christ, you know, I went back to work after a week after my surgery. I literally had to set up like a bench down for me to lie down during commercials. A zombie.

I looked like shit. I could barely think. I push too hard. I shouldn't have been doing that. Just saying. I'm a lightweight. I got to take that into account. Dr. Drew.

I can't do anything about that. Puss. Hero? No, hero to the pussies. Yes. Why can't the pussies have a hero? That's right. Why can't the pusses in life have someone to look up to?

Don't they need their leader? Lightning bolts come out of my eyes. Where is there? Martin Luther King. For all the pussies out there that feel disenfranchised? Where's their Jesse Jackson? Hell yeah. Where's their leader?

John? We need a new coalition. Hey. 25. Yeah. Hey, big fan, man. I really appreciate you taking my call out. The trailer for Newman Dock was awesome.

Oh, good. What? What? The trailer. You guys can go to YouTube and watch the trailer for the Newman Dock. It's out on May 22nd, the movie. But, yeah, it'll be good. I probably should ask you off the air, but it occurs to me.

If there's a good answer, this might. help you. I was looking for Rodhart on DirecTV. I could not find it. Is there a reason for that? Is it coming out soon? Is it... I will when were you looking? About a week ago. I didn't find it on the usual cinema

thread and then I did a word search for it and didn't come up. I will tell you how my life works. Will I be able to find it in order? I will only tell you how my life I will only tell you how my life works. Okay. My life works this way. I talked to Nate Adams, who helped me put out the movie. He says,

I'd call Film Buff this morning, because last night, this is a few days ago, I went to, I went on, I went, I went to DirecTV. I looked for Roadhard. I could not find it. I could not find it. All right. Same thing you described. And then he says, film buff, it was supposed to be out when the movie came out. Direct TV fucked up. And nobody. checked. It'd be nice if somebody other than me is responsible, but I care. Okay. Not there.

Then he goes on to say, they said, direct TV said it was going to be available on the 8th. And now it's the 10th and I can't find it. To which I replied, the 8th, you told me it was the first. I didn't say the first. We discussed it and I have, my thing is dates and numbers. Once I hear it, I hear it. So somebody, and you were there, somebody said the first. They're supposed to be out of the first.

I've been telling my audience. It's going to be on. I was looking for it around. Direct TV on the first. Yeah. No, it was always the eight. It was always the eight. No, I'm not done.

It was always the eight. Nate, you told me the first. I told the audience the first. We talked to Film Buff. I was saying to my audience before the eighth, I would remember if it was the eighth. No, it was always the eight. Matt, pull the emails of my correspondence with Nate and Filmbuff, and there it is, the first. So that's number one, is everyone trying to get me to kill myself?

Yeah. Then number two, when I'm done, on the phone, this is driving from one job, job number one to job number two and three, I walk in and I say, Matt, open your computer. Yeah. Go to DirecTV. Find it online. Yeah. All right. Type in Road Hard.

See if it's there. Yeah. Comes right up. I'm fresh out of answers now. I can just know other than storming the headquarters of DirecTV and taking it over and demanding, I don't know what to do anymore. And I'm not saying anyone's a liar. I'm just saying I don't know why I go to Matt five days ago and go, just punch it in your computer and see what it. Yeah, it comes right up.

And then I get the tweet. I look for it on direct. Couldn't find it on. Punched in the whatever. Thank you for doing that, by the way, Dr. Drew. I'm going to order it. I think that's a cool thing for you guys. I was excited for you.

Gary, please. Please offer something. All right. He went to Direc TV, and there it is. Okay. So, John, and now, can I say this? And here's what I don't know. I don't know anything about computers.

I just know logic. Max Pata. Gary, your kids are smart. Yeah. About one thing and one thing on. All right. This. nothing else

now listen to me is it that Dr. Drew and Dr. John over here from Wisconsin are sitting at home doing it in front of their TV whereas we're going online and doing it

online is like hey no problemo there's Roadhart right if you sat in front of a TV would you have a different experience and it may be something to do with my my bed is that has something to do with those search the search function

is fucked up for Roadhart for some reason. I'm going to say that probably not only because this website specifically says it's available on TV as well as computer, tablet, and phone. How is it that Nate, who's an intelligent guy, Dr. Drew's intelligent guy, and Dr. John 25 from Wisconsin's intelligent guy, goes on to direct TV. I spent a great. Types in the word Roadhart in search and nothing comes up. And I didn't just stop at that. I went and I looked through the thread for all cinemas and orderable stuff. You were doing that before it was on direct TV.

Well, maybe, maybe not. He's saying the second or third. That's true. Maybe. No, but no, that was Nate's fuck up saying the eighth. It was available the first based on what you find on the computer. So who the fuck knows? I'm going to try again.

As I say, could it go any other way? I'm going to talk to John. Can it go any other way? I get to get out of here. Come on. All right. So, John. what shall I do now?

No, what's your question, John? No, I want to know. I got to address this. I mean, what am I supposed to say to direct TV? Where the fuck is? It comes up on the computer, but I've gotten multiple complaints that people look. John, you're not stupid. You just looked it up on your TV a couple days ago.

When was that? On the fourth. John? What? Yeah. When did you look for the? I bought it from iTunes. I just saw the Newman DAC trailer on YouTube.

Oh, okay. What's going on? What's your question? What's your question? Okay, so I'm 25 years old. I have a great job. I just bought a house six months ago, and I draw myself with friends who are successful and have a motor because it keeps me from, it keeps me going. Huge.

It keeps me, like, have a drive and a perspective. But all these friends that I surround myself with are getting married and having kids, and for some reason, I have no interest in that at this point. You're 25. Fine. You're too young. Don't be silly. Yeah, but it's like I feel like I'm getting a step behind. No.

No. Listen, I was like looking to my kids the other day and going, you little shits, you're so fucking lucky. I didn't have you when I was 25. Yeah. You'd be super angry adults right now. Poor, uneducated, unwashed, and angry. No, it's good. Everybody wait.

I mean, it's the key. Look, the markers for success. in life is marriage, family, later. Education, all there's, there's, there's delaying everything. There's basically, yes, there's a, there's a triangle. It goes education, intact family, started later with the family. Those are the keys to success. It's super simple.

You want to figure out the answer to anything? Go the other direction. I do it all the time. So we should get married young? Let me see what it looks like in the other direction? What I'm saying is I've said it a time or two

but you want to know why the big wide dishy rims. I'm always talking about rims look great on the back of the back. If you want to know why they look so good on the back the big wide dishy ones

and the smaller ones in front swap them. Oh yeah, yeah. Now you picture a car with the big fat dishy rims in the front, the skinny ones in back and you go, ew.

No, so swap it. So just go, you want to know how it's good to wait for a family? We'll go to the other direction. At 14, your girlfriend's pregnant. And you haven't had any education. Just whatever. Just pregnant

at 14. Getting married at 16. Is that going to work? All right. So you just went the opposite direction. Now go that direction. Get married when you're 100. All right. I hear you. I hear you. Oh, until next time. Until next time, Anna Krola, for Dr. Drew, Chris Mack to Panana. You're a half-star.

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