The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #434: Stiller Pinsky

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

October 12, 2016Adam and Drew open up the show with Dr. Drew fired up about the recent situation with Ben Stiller needing to have his prostate out due to cancer. The guys then turn to the phones and speak to a caller who has a severely alcoholic mother that he is considering excluding from his coming child’s life.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, it's a throwback episode of me and Dr. Drew. This is episode 434 from October 2016. That's October 12th, if you're being precise. We open up with some Ben Stiller news, and then we'll run some phones, talk to some alcoholic moms, and have some fun. Right after this. Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla. Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist, Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show.

Yeah, get it on. Got to get on that judgment to get on mandate. Get it on. Oh, yeah, buddy. I'm upset. What's going on? I don't know how to express this without seeming like an asshole. Oh, you're never an asshole.

I'm just so concerned about what is going down as medical information. of medical science. I mean, you know, the vaccine thing on one hand, you know, Rob Schneider's just always raining stuff down on me about how terrible vaccines are. And blue light. And blue light is being going to kill everybody. What's the blue light? You have to wear these special glasses to prevent the blue lights off your phone or what's going to have brain tumors? Or what the hell.

Cancer. It's some crazy nonsense. Good kill you. Look, here's the deal, guys. We're lucky to be alive. Keep moving. Put your head up. down, we'll get to work, go to work about it. We live in unbelievably, we should be grateful for the amount of gratitude we should have for the medical science. The Nick, about the 19th century,

turn of the century, 191919191990, and 1900 hospital where the opening episode, the doctor is giving a eulogy and he goes, and now people, the turn of the century, a male born today, can expect to live to 46 years of age. Right. I mean, for God's sakes, everybody. So, look,

the reason I p-oed is Ben Stiller last week talked about his prostate cancer. He's the exact same story I have. Actually, mine was a little bit different, but

his was a little more aggressive, had to come out right away, and that's the way it goes. Now people are, again, piling on him going, no, no, people do not need to get tested for

this. You don't understand. The doctors just want to make money taking prostates out. Like, oh, for Christ's sake. Oh, for Christ's fucking sake.

My life was cured. My life was saved. I had a cancer that started to grow. I can show it to you. It's on a path specimen. And we watched it for a while. I didn't get it out right away. I waited two years of surveillance,

and then it really started to move. And then we took it out. And the guy that took it out was a guy who I sat down with, and he was not interested in my nutrition. He was not interested in my well-being or psychology. I don't know what kind of shape your wallet was in, dude. He did 12. done 1,200 of these. I said, what's your complication rate? Zero. Fine. He had zero

complications after 1,200 procedures. And that's all I want him to fucking do is do that procedure all day and have no more, because that's a hard, it took him 14 years to get to the point where he could do that procedure. And he's a genius with it. I don't want him worrying about blue light, nutrition. I want him doing that goddamn procedure. And people always go, why don't want him to talk to his rib about nutrition? I don't want him thinking about nutrition. I want him doing that robotic prostatectomy. me for other men. What's the matter, Karen? Why is that funny? Because I just listened to the podcast that got you fired up about this.

Where I got fired up about it? Yeah. It was that you were on the fighter and the kid and they were asking you why doctors don't care about nutrition. You're basically repeating it. I listen to it today. I remember that's where I got that, but that's not where I intended to go with this. What was upsetting me was the people are saying, don't get your peace. You're conflicting your own opinions? No, no. It was the same opinion. I just got it fired up. They asked him, why aren't doctors more, you know, worried about nutrition?

When he said, people are always asking me, I've listened to it three hours ago. The same thing about the surgeon, again. And it just re-triggered that thought. But my bigger problem is, gentlemen, if you have a first-degree relative with prostate cancer, particularly diagnosed at a young age, get your PSA started for you. Everyone else, 50. Do it. Don't fucking believe bullshit you read on the Internet.

Let the experts that spend their entire life studying this stuff make the determination. When I go to a doctor, I just go, do what you do, do your job, use your judgment, and just tell me what to do. I don't second-guess them. I don't talk about it. I know what the training they've had. I just asked them to please do their job. And a PSA saved Ken Ben Stiller's life, save my life. Don't argue with us about it.

PSA stands for. Prostate-specific antigenets. You should have it too every year. All right, I should do it. You haven't done it? I don't know if I've had a prostate check. You're 52. Yeah, it is definitely.

You get colonoscopy? No. Oh, dude, we're going to do this together. Okay. I'm having one in December. They are? Yeah, let's go. I'll circle my camera.

calendar. Yeah, I'll go with you. Anyway, so I just, I, Twitter gets me wacky, upset sometimes. Oh, you know, I don't pay attention to anything, so it's easier to be me. I know, I'm over-sensitive. And I care about this shit. It's why I spent my whole life doing, and so it's like, it's so troubling. I'm, on one hand, I just go, all right, you guys want to let your life, your kids and everything, you just let it go. Fine, enjoy, just let it go. In the other hand, I spent my life doing this, and I can't. care about it.

Yeah, I don't, we've been dealing with it for a long time, celebrities and others thinking they have some information. First off, the only information that these celebrities have are articles that have been written in rags are online that have been spoon fed to them. They've not done any form of research themselves. They've not seen, for instance, when you're making a decision about that vaccine, have you seen somebody die of measles? I've seen many die of measles.

I've seen horrible cases of measles. You ever seen one? No, so to them it doesn't even exist. But the thing that's insanely pompous about the whole thing, Drew, is said celebrity blowhard, whoever that doesure, blowhard de jure. This was just some random Twitter. No, no, but I'm talking about when the celebrities go blowhardy. Yeah, yeah. Right.

They are not out in the field collecting samples and hammering, hammering them in the lab. They read an article. Yeah. Written by an asshole. Right. And things don't become, in science, things don't become standard until they've been reproduced dozens or hundreds of times. So a single article for somebody who actually is familiar with the field and converse

in a literature in that field, a single article goes down as, all right, note taken, let's see if anything comes to this someday. You don't go, that's the answer, that's it. But never. The asshole celebrity just read an article online that somebody else wrote. Yeah, it sounds good. So that's it. That's the answer, as opposed to the many, many hundreds of articles that are contrary to that.

Yes. I don't get that part. Sometimes thousands of articles. Well, I've always felt that way about the expert, the whatever, you know, what do you, you know, sometimes I enjoy telling experts, you know, when they go, I go to a barber, you know what I mean? I sit down the chair and they ask me your time, what do you do at the back of your neck? You're like, it's square, flat? You like a square or you like it round? I go, well, whatever you like.

You're the expert. You're standing there. You do it the way you like it. I don't walk behind myself. And as they start cutting, you, hey, hey, hey, hey, what about, did you? What about that? I don't do that. Because you don't know what they're doing.

I don't know what they're doing. But they cut hair for a living and they're standing behind me. And so I asked them, how would they like it? What do they think it looks best? And then they do it that way. And guess who never thinks about it ever. Well, I think it's the bigger analogy is swinging a door. How many people are going to tell you how to do that?

That happens all the time? People tell you to swing a door and how to do that. Well, it is the one thing I do miss about carpentry is nobody bothered you. I mean, you got to be an expert, and all you'd have to do is start sliding into butts and side and strike side and setbacks and stuff like that. And they knew they couldn't do it. They knew they didn't know how to put a bevel or what degree. the bevel should be on the, you should have a bevel on the hinge side and on the knob side. But they never had any inkling as how that could be done.

And therefore, they never had an opinion. Like to have an opinion about vaccines, you should have had years of study of biology, of all kinds of how the biological circuitory system works, how the neurological systems work, how the immunologicals, how we develop, you know, with the biochemistry of all that is, years and years of studying of that before you go, okay, now let me look at this very, complex thing called the vaccine and how it affects the human being. No. We're just going to step on in and take a look at it and decide.

Yeah. I never got that part. I never got the hubris of the whole thing. You know, why are you speaking out about this when you don't know shit about Chinola? Like, aren't you slightly embarrassed to be throwing your hat in this ring that you have really no... That's why I make fun of the... What's the... the toxin thing.

To me, that's the funniest thing in the world. Just draw the chemical formula of the toxin. Just one of them. Forget all the toxins. Just draw the molecular structure for me. I don't have to draw them, dude. I feel them. And then I'd like the stoichiometry.

Just write the chemical equation of how it does damage. Forget the physiology. Just the chemistry. Just the basics. And then how you're extracting that toxin. Just write that down. Just the basic chemistry. Nothing big?

Just the basics. Oh, my God. I know, Drew's got to listen. Here's the problem with knowing things nowadays. You get punished. Yeah. It's almost, it's right up there with having money. You get punished.

Like, it's literally like that lack of trust thing that people just don't trust. We're talking about this in previous show. If you can't trust anything, even the facts, well, everything's relative then. Because you trust nothing and nobody. Right. And that's a terrible, terrible mistake. Yeah. Sad but true.

Hey, I got something happy. So I actually was going to talk about something else happier. Did you see the, I think I, did I talk to you about this, the Amazon Woody Allen series? Did we talk about that? Well, I did what I always do with technology. I went home. Did we talk about it? You talked about it.

Yes, we did. And I went home and I was like, all right, I'm going to Amazon. I think I got Netflix and like Amazon. I don't watch anything. The kids do. Yeah, yeah. They could show you how to do it. I got home and I went, all right, here we go.

It always takes me a long time to navigate that stuff. And then I was like, and then they do the punch it in. And I punched in Woody Allen. And then a thousand Woody Allen movies came up. But I could never find the documentary. It's a crisis. I'm sorry. Wait a second.

Where were you punching the same? I wanted to go watch the documentary. Oh, yes. Now, I don't know if the Woody documentary is. is on Netflix or Amazon as well. Gary's going to figure that out. The one I was talking about was the crisis in six stories or something. Yes, I remember that.

Yeah, yeah. That popped up, but I wasn't as interested in watching that as I was. No, the documentary is assigned viewing for you. That you will bring. The documentary, it looks like you're probably going to have to rent. Pay for it. Well, Amazon has a pay-per-view thing, right? Yeah, you rent it.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. That's what I'm saying. It's not going to be part of his prime thing. I'm not good enough for that. To figure that out? No, to pay $3.99. It's too good for me.

This is worth it. I'm telling you. Let me see if I can't figure out a way to put it on a stick for you. Oh, no, no. I don't want to put like it. I'll put it. Literally the way I'm wired is I come across and it's like, would you like it for a two-day rental for $3.99? I go, I'm not worth a subway six-inch sandwich sandwich.

That's the way I look at it. I got the same thing. I'll still buy $5 million car. I just don't have the, I'm not worth this. It's weird. It is weird, right? It is. But the, yes, that's a sign of view.

It will bring you great joy. Okay. But the, I'm just curious about the crisis in six how you see that. Because I was generally positively sort of persuaded by it. The reviewers didn't like it. I'm just curious what you're. All right. Well, watch that.

All right. One hop to the phone. Yeah. Oh, Shane. Huh? No. Shane. Shane.

Yeah. What's going on, Shane? Hey, how's it going? Good, man. What's going on? Good. Good. First time call, and I'm excited to talk to you guys.

I've got a quick question for you. My wife and I have been married about three years. We're expecting our first child here in about a month. I'm pretty excited for that. The problem is we're struggling with how to deal with my mom. She's a lifelong alcoholic. And besides that, she's kind of a sort of just an infectious person to be her. She's just got kind of a terrible attitude about things.

And we really don't think we want the child involved with her very much. And I don't really know how to break that news. How does a – sorry, how does the lifelong alcoholic work? What do you think her schedule is? Like how much she drinking? Oh, man. No, I'm not really interested in a amount because I can drink a large amount. But I also –

Speaking of lifelong. Oh, what? But I have never – never while the streetlights are – Well, actually, football Sunday. Well, then there's a Thursday night game. You know, she's had streaks of sobriety. You know, when I was in high school, she was sober for, you know, those four years of my life. And other than that, you know, I can't.

How was she when she was sober? You know, she's still a pretty depressing person to be around. You know, my brother and I kind of joke, we kind of call her to York because that's her attitude about everything. Was she in the program then, or was she just not drinking? She just wasn't drinking. I don't know if she's ever really participating. fit in a program. Yeah, not drinking alcoholic, not in the program, but it's miserable to be around.

Jesus, but Drew. Right. I got to deal the same thing with my mom. It's like, she wants to get together, but I don't want to get together because it's like, it's such a bummer. You know what I mean? Like, who are the people that present such an undesirable target and then want to get together?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, sad. It's so sad for me. Well, getting together is the sad part for you. The sad part for her is that she evokes that from you. Everybody. Yeah, I mean, I could give you a good example. She's in the hospital right now, actually.

I go in there to see her yesterday, which is out of the norm. I hadn't seen her prior to that for several months. And the first thing she says is, man, this place is driving me nuts. They won't let me eat what I want to eat. And, you know, they won't let me drink what I want to drink. And it's like, well, you know, three days ago you were in the ICU and they saved your life. So I don't know that you can complain a whole lot about that. Shane, I would argue that she pushes your buttons.

That's not an uncommon, what, she's 70 years old, 65? Yeah, 70. Yeah. And so that's not an unfamiliar sort of rejoinder from somebody in that age group is in the hospital. They complain about everything. Now, the fact that for you, it's a button because that negativity triggers all that feeling in you, that's in reality not unusual. Right.

So how about a little, well, what do you want to do? Well, I mean, I've kind of, you know, I've kind of separated myself from her for several years now. And my wife didn't really think I had a normal response to her being in the hospital because it just didn't really affect me. I just don't feel a whole lot of emotional attachment to her, which probably isn't a normal feeling at all. but that's, you know, several decades of just kind of being, you know, abused by her emotion. Right, right. She created this situation. It's funny.

I was talking to a friend of mine who has a profoundly tight relationship with her mom who died. She was like two years out still morning. And I said, well, you know, maybe not having a good relationship with your mom. Not so bad. You know what I mean? When they think they're mourning, it's not that big a deal. Oh, yeah. Listen, the pressure's off.

It's really. interesting that people that really are close to their moms, man, when they go, they are just devastated by it. I can't imagine. Literally. No. Literally, you can't imagine. I have movie premieres and don't invite either one of my parents who live in the city.

Yeah. And not because I'm angry at them. I don't even think about it. It doesn't cross my mind. That's Shane's thing. And your wife is right. Invite them. It's not normal, but it's not like you created this.

You were served this. Yeah, I look, I feel that, and we're getting back to your child now. You know, your mom's getting old. She's harmless, even though she's a bummer. She can be around the kids. She's a pain in the butt, whatever, small doses. Grandparents are pretty important. And you may feel differently about your mom if she does a decent job of grandparenting.

Really, a lot of things can be forgiven if they deliver on that front. if for some reason you feel she can't or she's dangerous or you don't want her to, a way to sort of maybe motivate her and say, look, you're drinking too much. I can't have you around this child unless you get sober. You get the program? We support you totally. You're not in the program? Not bringing this kid around.

Yeah. It's kind of, you know, at this point, I feel like, you know, we could tell her that, but I kind of already know what the answer is going to be for her, mostly because my brother told her that exact same thing 10 years ago, and she's not had a relationship with his kids for the last 10 years based on the fact that she wasn't willing to commit to a program. Well, look, then that's her prerogative. It's a weird thing, Drew.

I don't, it's a weird wiring. Ultimately, it's insanely selfish. Yeah. It's the way I look at it because you're, you know, it's a great Jay Leno. once told me, me, me, me, me. Okay. Now, it doesn't have to be that hard. It just doesn't have to be that hard.

He told you that? About what? I said to him, I think when I was filming one of my other documents, the Paul Newman documentary, and I was at Monterey, and I was doing a race, blah, blah, blah, and I had to pull him aside. I needed to get him to sit down for 20 minutes, 40 minutes, to talk about his recollections of Newman and blah, blah, blah.

And, you know, I just said to him, you know, AJ, I appreciate it. I do a benefit in Malibu for the kids, whatever. You're out there doing stand-up. You know, I need you for this documentary. Pau. He's, you know, there he is. He's doing it. I need to, got some guy from out of town is dying to see your shop.

I bring him over. No problem. I said, I really appreciate, you know, just being as accessible and is open about this and all that. And he said, it doesn't have to be that, huh? I said, I know. It doesn't. You're here. I'm here.

We just want you to sit down and... It's what your people call him Munch. Say some nice things about Paul Newman and then you can get up and leave. But it always stuck with me like it doesn't need to be that hard. And the thing about life, adults, grandparents, things like that, that's easy. It's show up. Throw the ball around. Watch a little TV.

Have a drink. Enjoy your grandkids. Have a laugh. Tell a story. You know what I mean? What is it? What we know, though, is because the brother has tried this, it's not going to work to sit an ultimatum. No.

So the alternative is to, you know, provide you have your wife's, you know, support on this that she agrees with. Just show up once in a while. Let her do grandparenting. Don't leave her alone with the kids, and that's that. See, you know, just kind of don't forget that she's your mom. She's an old lady. It's not well mentally. She's suffering.

Let the kids have a grandparent. Okay. Yeah, we's back. We're talking about grand... My kids don't really know their grandparents and don't care. They know your mom at all? Because they hang around a little bit. They know her a little bit, but...

Their name never... It never comes up. Ever. I didn't know my grandparents. If she never saw them again, I don't think they would care. Ugh. Is that that bad? For her.

But I don't think she cares either. That's part of the deal. I don't think they know her. So she's bugging you to see her, but she doesn't want to see the kids? Yes, she does, but just to kind of see them or something. Does she hang out? Does she do anything with them when she does see them? No.

Does she spend time with them? No. But she does not strike you as weird? Yeah, everything's weird. Yeah. It's always weird. She doesn't care about our own kids. What when she cares about a grandkids more?

But sometimes they can muster a little something, something. No, not so much. She's just not somebody cares about kids, period. What'd she have kids? That's a pretty good question. I've asked that a few times. Of her? No, no.

I've thought it to myself, though. Between her and my dad, I don't know what the hell you two are having. kids for. This is a weird group for kids. My dad gets zero satisfaction, zero enjoyment, zero pleasure out of his kids. But how about him, the grandkids,

same thing? Yeah, they don't know him. Either. You sure they're not standing away because they don't feel welcomed by you? No, just they're old. What about your sister's kids? They're out, they're sort of Topanga-based.

They're hard to get to. So same thing. Yeah. I mean, to say they're old, it's to take grandparents out of the equation altogether. You know what I'm saying? It's like, all grandparents are old. Yeah. It does help in the definition.

I don't. These days, I'm where they're 45. Well, yeah. No, I don't think my parents like kids. That's what it sounds like. Like, not just unlike them. I'm like, really don't even want to be around them. Well, my, I don't know.

Gary, you can answer this question. I think my dad has stuff he likes and then stuff he doesn't like. And if he doesn't like it, he's not there. Like, it ain't into it. It's not, it doesn't matter your kid, my kid, his kid, her kid. It's just not really into kids. I mean, I don't know. How can you be a psychologist not being to kids?

I don't understand that. Well, no, what I'm saying is, is I am as guilty or pretty guilty of this in my own way of like other people. kids. You know, I don't ask, how's it a little Tim doing? Still, what grades you in? How's he doing? Okay? That's different, though, than I'm there. I'm around my son's kids and, yeah, I'm not really interested in hanging with them or getting a dollar. I'm very much into my kids. Yeah, I know. But I'm not that much into my friend's kids. I wish them well. I just, I'm not a good human being for that. I mean you to bring up how shitty have been to my kids. I don't uh I'm like all right you know they can come over the shop or do whatever but you don't exist to them that's right right but I don't think as far as my parents go I don't think they like kids I get that I'm getting that loud and clear I don't think they're weird I don't think they're making an exception for their own I get that you see what I'm saying yes I totally get that which is you know pretty you know even keeled of them but weird to have it.

about it. If you really don't even want to be around them. I'm assuming it was a mistake. Oh, okay. Don't you assume that? Maybe they didn't have any kind of birth control back then or? I'm assuming it was a mistake. Two mistakes?

Gary, you've been here for a long time. Yeah. I don't think you've ever seen my mom here, have you? One time. All right. And my dad used to see here when he did a podcast. Marry a time since then. Not once.

Not one time. But I will say that you are right with your hypothesis or assertation that there are things that he does like because when he was here and we'd get in the studio and those mics would fire up, he appeared to be 10 years younger instantaneously because he was into it. It was a psychology thing. He was talking to the people. He's working with Ray. He was into it. Right. There's stuff he likes and then there's stuff he doesn't like and the stuff or I shouldn't say doesn't like.

It's just he had... Doesn't care. Doesn't exist. Yeah, I understand. We're going to run around the same. Right. So trumpet playing, psychology, things of that nature, jazz and stuff like that, maybe even some Woody Allen.

He likes that. Kids, cars, grandkids, whatever, doesn't like. He doesn't have anything against them. Feel me? Yeah, yeah. All right, move on. Get the calls. You're getting depressed?

Yeah. All right. Let's see. We're going to talk to Brian over here. Brian, line three. Hey guys, how you doing? First time, a long time. Yeah, man. What's going on? So I got some, I need some career advice from you, too. I respect you too and listen to you guys almost nearly daily.

Nice. So I'm 26 years old, living in Indiana with my mom still in the house I was brought home in when I was born. Brought home. I work in a grocery store right now stock in a shelf, making just a little. over minimum wage. This is our dream journey. I'm looking. What's that?

What is minimum wage in Indiana? Oh, I think right now it's like $9.50. Wow. Okay. 725. 725. Excuse me. All right.

And I'm thinking about going into a truck driving career, getting my CDL here, and going and doing that, making at least double. what I make now starting out. I just wanted to have you guys' feelings on that. Why wouldn't you? Good point. You know, I brought that up to my mother just today, actually. I said, why wouldn't I?

Why wouldn't I go out there and kill the moose and bring it back to the cave? You know, why wouldn't I do that? Yeah. And so your answer? I mean, I've been wanting to do it for a long time. I've been talking about it. for weeks and weeks. Sunday I put in my two-week notice at my job,

and October 17th, I'm going to school, you know, whether people like this. Brian, why are you treating this like you're trying to set some sort of trans-oceanic record in a hot air balloon? I don't know. You're getting a job that's a better job, yeah. It's a job that I would be out of, you know, the area out of the house for weeks on end. And, you know, she's, yeah, yeah, and that's, you know, yeah. She's, she, meaning your mom, she holding you down?

She's not letting you leave the house? I thought so at first because that's kind of like how she was coming off. But now she seems to be more on board with it. My little bit of background is just her and I now. My dad, he up and left four years ago when I was 22, haven't seen them since. and it's time for me now to step up and start to go. It comes for a line of rambling, guys. Hey, Brian, we like where this is going.

I wonder why at age 26 you're sort of questioning yourself as much as you are over something that seems like a pretty basic and simple step forward for you career-wise. Because I'm freaked out. About what? Something about just a total career change. into something I've never even. Well, first off, you're not involved in a career now. You're opening boxes.

You have a job. And taking cans of garbonzo beans and putting them on a shelf. That's not a career. Understood? That's true. Okay. So it's not a career change. It's a career.

You could get a career. You could get a career. Yeah. That's what I would be looking for if I were you. Right. Okay. So let's not be. If your mother holds you down in some way,

that's simply not fair. Let's not totally be freaked out about moving from a crappy job to a less crappy job. And being your own person. If your mother prevents you from being a separate person, that's not fair. Well, that's the whole thing back to my mom. She would suffocate me. I couldn't breathe. But if your mom needs help in the home, then let's get her help in the home. But do not let that prevent you from going out and being a person. I mean, you don't have a relationship right now. You don't have a job. Let's go. Let's get it going. It's time. Yeah. Truck and, And good for you. Making a little money doing that.

Good for you stepping up and helping your mom. But enough's enough. You can still be a supportive son and not dedicate your life to her. So until next time, Madam Crow, for Dr. Dhraseh. Mahalo.