The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #63: Funky Soul Patch, Part 1

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Adam and Dr. Drew offer advice to a caller about raising twins. They also help a man who is having trouble dealing with his wife’s depression and then they discuss the future of male birth control.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All right. We're taking you back to July 2013. It has been a minute. Adam and I discuss with a caller raising multiples, his case twins, my case triplets. His kids are like kind of little then. Also, we help a guy who's having trouble dealing with his wife's depression. So check it all out. Here's that throwback episode. A little piece of history, July, 2013, episode 63. Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice, but to get on mandate. Get it on. Thank you so much for listening.

Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for subscribing via the PayPal button. I'm giving just a couple little shekels. a month just to keep the lights on and the air blowing over here gets a little hot sometimes and you can click click through the amazon link at adam and dr drew show dot com we have a couple of shows coming up uh august 16th we're going to be in carmel beautiful beautiful carmel um i'm there doing a race and i'm driving a paul newman car and i'm doing a paul newman documentary because nobody even Hollywood it's a weird thing Hollywood doesn't know a lot outside of Hollywood and even when

Hollywood royalty does things they don't know they don't know Paul Newman was a championship race car driver and they don't know and you know Drew I always laugh about this sort of rounding down that people must do in life for some reason I'm I'm acutely aware of it because that's what my family does. But people do a lot of that. You know, it's like, hey, Paul Newman was a championship race car driver. Celebrity race with other celebrities? Right, right, right.

No, he just ran for Nissan. But he drove those little 5-10 little boxes. No, no. He drove big IMSA GTU cars and he drove trans AM cars with other celebrities. No, no. He drove 600 horsepower prototype rolling cages that shot fire out of the side on huge slicks at Sears Point, Road, Atlanta, and Watkins Glen, and he drove 170 miles an hour, and he won. He was a real driver. But against other celebrities.

It's like it cannot, cannot conceive or accept the fact that he was a championship race car driver, and that's what he did his entire life. Do you think that that is a function of celebrities aren't allowed to do actors, anything beyond what they are skilled at? Or is it something about Paul Newman? He doesn't look like a, you know, he wouldn't expect him to be that guy. There's a lot of celebrities can't do anything else. Yeah. You know who can do less than celebrities? Who?

Comedians. Huh? Interesting. I experienced my whole life. How'd you meet Jimmy? I was a boxing trainer. Seriously. Open mic?

No, I worked as a boxing trainer. Yeah, right. All right. But we're seriously, how did you mean? You get the same thing with the carpentry stuff, too. It's like, yeah, where'd you learn to talk like that? Well, people do this with the carpentry, which always drives me nuts. I go, you're, you're handy, handy guy, handyman?

No, no, carpenter. Journeyman carpenter. Well, so, like, did you do your last house? Yeah, I did. You did it alone or you had people, but you have a crew, right? Right. Yeah, I have people who, yes, no, I tear out every piece of plaster myself and drag it down the driveway. Yes, that's what I do. No, I have a crew that I work with. I orchestrate the stuff. I do a lot of it, but they do a lot of it too, right? And it's like, all right, dick. I don't know what you're getting at. Who does that? Almost everybody. But I mean, is it people like you're legitimately sitting, sharing an evening with and talking to? Or is just people you sort of randomly meet? Random. It's more random, but I try to eliminate them for my life, except for their mostly family members. But it's just they never, it never ends.

And then you go, I won the pro, I won the pro division of Toyota Celebrity Race. Against celebrities. Against celebrities. Yeah. No, pro. Celebrity race, though, right? Like, I just so weird.

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I wonder if it's, then I started to think, is it something about you that people don't want to give you the satisfaction? I don't look the part. I realize. I know. I've, I've said many.

times i look dopey and i understand that and but that shouldn't get you that should not stop you from thinking that a person can have some achievement somebody even tweeted me once where um in that race in that race when you do your um how you're gridded up yep um how you're gridded up on the track the celebrities get a 30 second head start right above the president pros. And since I qualified third amongst the pros, I was second to last in the grid. It started with the celebrity that had the best time of the celebrities, went all the way down, you know, 14, 18 people, then got to the two pros that were faster me and then me. And somebody got that lineup and tweeted it to me and said you have 14 celebrities and two pros that are faster than you

and I said no my time was faster than every celebrity but they get to start ahead of me but I appreciate the effort what is that with the people have to shit on you what is that I don't know why is that in so many of those right it's a lot of calories for something that absolutely it should I hope it brings you a lot of joy I guess That's just envy. Envy is a really powerful emotion. You've got to bring people down, right? We have a lot of envy these days.

I don't, here's the thing. Bringing somebody down does not bring you up. But that's their feeling, though. The feeling is if I diminish you, it elevates me. Because then you don't have that thing that made me feel diminished. Let me explain something. It is a broken seesaw. You both will just have your asses on the ground.

It's not like, well, if I. I just go down a little. If I can get the other guy over there to go down, then I will start rising. No, your ass is still firmly planted on the ground. In fact, I would argue going deep. You're now burrowing into the ground because you're spending time working out the order of the celebrities and tweeting to me instead of writing the next great American novel. Oh, that was a double nostril.

That was double barrel. All right. You're ready to... Start the top. Start the top? Yep. All right. Jonathan?

Yeah. What's going on? Call him from Minnesota. Yeah, hey, guys. Love the show. What's the show? We're going to have twins in December, and I thought I'd get some advice

from a couple guys who know something about it. Your life will never be the same. Awesome. Oh, stop that cliche. No, no. I don't like that. You don't think it's true? No.

I'm not thinking a bad way. It just changes everything. The same as what? It just changes everything. The priorities are different? I felt different. But here's my advice is to make sure you're all in. No, I just don't like your life will never be the same because it's so fucked out.

No, I'm not saying it's fucked out. I'm not saying it's fucked out. So what do you say? Go ahead. Your life will remain relatively the same. No, look. First thing you will notice is the differences between boys and girls, depending on what you have. And then they'll notice the difference between the individuals, just sort of how they're wired, sort of like breeds of dogs.

You know, some just a little more rambunctious and some a little more mellow, you know. We're talking about your daughter versus your son. Yeah, they're very, very different in the way they're wired. and then you're going to have to focus on that wiring and try to bring them a little more toward the center. That's actually really good advice. Which is my daughter, what? My daughter's, you know, rambunctious and in everyone's grill

and about to drive my wife to suicide attempts. And I say attempts because I don't think she'd complete it. She'd forget an ingredient or something. She'd be sitting in the bathtub. hour's going, wait a minute. Stop talking, Daddy. Oh, shit, I should have slit my wrist. Where are the fucks of razors?

Ah, God damn it. Too tired. I'm going to watch some of the Jodi-Ary style, and then I'm calling it a night. So she's trying to drive her to suicide. My son, when I coach his basketball team, I have to tell him to be more aggressive. That's always at my time! That is actually his kids on our show. Go get the ball.

You know, go be aggressive. Go get it. My own therapist told me this one. She said, you know, one of the things we do in therapy is try to bring up what is deficient. You know, if you're a little too understated, we're trying to make it a little more assertive. If you're a little too aggressive, we're trying to tone you down a little bit. And so the parenting function should do that as well. I think that's actually excellent advice.

I thank you. And, you know, it's my gin rummy hand of life thing that I subscribe. to that people seem to argue with me a lot with if not not not not in description but more in actions meaning if you ever play gin rummy and it's been a long time but you get a bunch of hands old man you get i played it when i was like 19 a couple of times you get dealt cards and then you try to get gin and the way you get that is by discarding cards that aren't working to get you gin and collecting cards that are helping and if you do it right and you get rid of the right cards and you collect the right cards you will then throw it down and say gin and you will win

now i don't know why people grab the cards that don't work for them and hang on to them with both hands and say no i'm not going to get rid of this card and you go it's a three it's not helping your hand and they go i like this card and then you go i know but it's not getting you close their chin and they go, you're not the boss of me. What makes you think? Oh, and then they go to your hand. What about you? What about you?

And you're two over there. You don't need that. You don't want to get rid of that guy? Okay. It's not about me and my hand right now. It's about the card you're clinging to with both hands. So you try to get your kids to let go of some of the things that aren't serving them well and try to get them to embrace the things that are.

To get them to that point. And isn't this our chance to talk about education, too? not for me but for you you said it's important and I agree with you it's very important but I think I think the way of thinking about it is your net your life is now the priority is these kids you got to go all in you don't go part in as a parent you go all in I'll take part for half the country come on now well as opposed to nothing nothing well you have to have the courage to something the all the posters in the subways about be a hero be a dad and all that kind of stuff is it

You find that to be a scary and troubling harbinger? No, harbinger. Just scary and troubling, period. Well, yes. We're already there. It's not harboring anything. I know. You know, but you know when they have those movies from the future and, you know, they just

pass by these big signs that says obey the government and stuff like that. We're supposed to look at that as moviegoers in 2001 and go, oh, boy, imagine how scary that society would be. this is equally scary to me i agree 100% okay perhaps we should have an honest dialogue about it well listen to me and my colleagues at cnn okay we'll encourage you uh oh boy shadan yeah hey man how do you say your name you got it perfect my friend actually i met you um on wednesday at the uh roadhart event oh yes shadan that's right I remember you well. Yeah, a little funky soul patch.

That's right. What does that mean? That's right. Something I did do them in the bathroom. I didn't want to get into it. You were very good at receiving. I was just a little way. You were an expert at that, Adam.

You always declare it. That's right. No one receives better than the ice man. Even men and women now. All types. Yep, a little funky soul patch. Let's see. half Persian and half something?

Yeah, half German. Yeah. Interesting. I live up in the mountains, up in the Sequoias. Mm-hmm. What are you doing at Irvine? Well, I work down here every other week, so I come down for work and spend four days in a glorious Irvine and then go back up to the mountain.

That's crazy. Runs a mountain bike tour. Yeah, we have a shuttle business and a little bike shop there called Sequoia Mountain Adventures. Actually, I started it inspired by Krola and its pirate ship, something that we'd always wanted to do. I see. Everyone thinks I never listened to everybody. No, I think it's because you don't look directly at people.

I concentrate better. I concentrate better that way. Now, I think better. Drew, what do people do? Tell me this. Yeah. Riddle me this. When they do one of those game shows and they go, now we're going to Final Jeopardy.

And they go, you know, you have eight seconds, fifth president in the United States. What do they do? Open their eyes super wide and look up or do they put their head down? Think about the thinking mode. It's, I don't want things to enter my mind that aren't of this nature. Yeah. Some people look to a corner, though. Some people look over to a side.

Whatever they do is they don't find Trebek and look them in the eye because they're concentrating. Yes. I like to listen and concentrate. And also, I don't want to make fun of the soul past. Of course. All right. You might start laughing. You don't like the soul patch, huh?

Eh, it worked on you. All right. Your wife has chronic depression. Yeah, yeah. We moved, actually, that was one of the reasons it took us up to the mountains was we were in Orange County. Both grew up here and just to hustle and hustle and trying to compete with everybody and, you know, match up. She had some comparison issues being a fourth child.

And we decided to move up there to see if it would help her depression for a while. and she didn't work at the time, and it seemed to do okay for a little while, and it comes and goes and mostly stays, and she's, you know, tried meds. She's tried not meds. Right now she's seeing a psychiatrist or whatever that just, you know, meets with her for about 10 minutes, and, well, let's try changing this little bit. And really doesn't seem to do shit other than fuck her up. Yeah.

She can't sleep. Right. She doesn't eat. She doesn't exercise. Get some therapy going. That's what I suggested, you know, getting back into the, talk therapy. She has done lots of that kind of stuff in the past. Is she a trauma survivor?

Well, that's the thing. You know, I've listened to you guys forever, and every time I open my mouth, it's something that you guys had said in the past, you know, especially related to this kind of stuff. So that's what I figured, because on the Dr. Armand episode of Dr. Drew podcast, everything that Dr. Armand described was basically aligned with her. So I really wanted to get her down to Newport Beach to the facility down there. Get the spec scan to see what the brain's looking like. That's a good idea. Yeah, and I've tried to get her to do that right now.

It's our busy time of year, so she's like, I don't know where I'm going to find time. It takes an hour. It takes an hour. It's no big deal. And listen. Yeah, but let me, sorry for crapping upon the point. You and I constantly are saying to folks around us, you know, who go, look, I'm slammed. I don't have any, you don't have time, you don't have an hour to go down here and come back.

Like, we all know what you can do when you want to do it and what you can't do when you don't want to do it. That's right. And you have to be clear with that because sometimes these people are really looking for a reason not to do it. Of course. And the reason it's really important to her case is he can pinpoint what medication are likely to make her worse and what are likely to make her better. But medication is not the total solution. All the research shows that it's meds plus talk. And the meds are a short-term answer to try to keep her functioning and get her doing things like extra-stallel.

and listening to classical music and taking care of herself, which also is important to climb me out of this depression. So these things all have to kind of work together. And also, Shadhan, I do complain about arguments I have my wife, but I do sit around and just thank my lucky stars every day that she's not depressed. That that is bad for her and for you as something could be in a relationship and that she has to do this. for her especially for the kids but especially for you you will suffer greatly if she does not take care of this this is really not a personal thing it's not her problem it's everyone's problem and you know i brought that exact issue up to her recently and i think it's resonating with her some good well that's good we were you know i've been it's been this way for you know at least 11 years we've been married and you know there's a little less early on and i've You know, there's been depression around me, and I've never understood it because I've never been depressed. I'd rather have a family member, no lie that was missing a limb. I was going to say the same thing, yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. And I would say, again, back to the trauma stuff, you know, deploy trauma therapies specifically if she has some kind of trauma out there, physical abuse, anything of abandonment, EMDR, that sort of thing. It sounds like she's locked into something, and that can help break that lock. in spiral. Yeah, I heard the MBR episode, too, and I would suggest that. And actually, I wanted to know if Adam had tried that yet. Oh, do you know this?

Yeah, get it going, Drew. I'm trying. Cheryl Errett wants to do, come on, Gary, help me out with this. Cheryl Erert was on, what episode was that? You can listen to episode, Lynette and Cheryl Errit, who's a psychologist, clinical psychologist, who's on my A. A.L.N. program talked about Adam and what could help him with some of his stuckness about the trauma of the parents, stuff you talk about all the time.

Although, if you break out of that cycle, what we talk about. That's true. I'm nothing to complain about. It scared me a little bit. Yeah. But yes, the episode is, come on now. We'll figure it out.

Shadam, what's your... 68. What's your nationality? German and Persian, he said. Yeah, so my mom's side was here with the, you know, before the United States was a country with the Pennsylvania Dutch. Wow. And my dad's side was from Iran, and he came over here in the 50s to work for the International Monetary Fund.

and we lived in Santa Capistrano or actually we were in Washington when I was born and then we moved to Iran for a few years and then we my mom had a feeling a gut feeling that shit was hitting the fan and if we don't get out now we're not getting out so she said hey I'm leaving with the kids we'd love for you to come with my dad and he agreed so we planted it over in San Francisco and that's where I grew up how was your childhood rattled yeah that was my child it was a great childhood you know My parents were great, and we did get a divorce, or my parents did, and my mom told me when I was eight on my eighth birthday that they were going to get divorced. Nice.

So I think I have some trauma related to that, because I changed, you know, significantly around that time. And, you know, I've always been interested in kind of what. Being Iranian, as I used to call Iranian, during all this turmoil and all this stuff, how was that for you? It was a kid. It was really rough, to be frank, you know, as a young kid, and I know, when I was a kid growing up in San Capistrano, I was the only Iranian kid around. Do you speak Farsi? And I don't. That was one of the things that I pushed away because, you know, going through the news.

But there's a lot of Iranians in Newport just a few miles away. All right. Go ahead. Yeah, but I pushed in Town Capistrano, we were pretty isolated. We had, you know, some people in Iranians. So they're the only Iranian kid in San Juan Capistrano. Yeah, or at least in my school. Yeah.

So, you know, you don't go socializing outside the town when you're eight years old. Got it. So we, you know, I got called burnt French fry and stuff because I was darker and, you know, got teased and stuff. And the news cycle you would see all the stuff with the American press. We saw Arga. So, you know, I would feel like I don't, you know, I was kind of trying to just associate with my Iranian heritage. So I just shunned the Farcy language, which I did speak fluently before. Well, good for you.

I mean it. Brace the United States. You guys are here because the old country is a piece of shit. And that's why we're here. Everyone understand you're all here because your old country is shit for the most part. That's true. Okay. And look, that shit varies.

You know what I mean? But the food's great. You got to love the food. I do. I love me some hummus in tahini. That's more Arabic. Oh, shit. What the fuck?

It's all the same, right? Well, what do you guys, got some kuskos over there? No, no, we've got Mosul Kiar, he's got kebab. Oh, kabab. Who does the shwarma? The shwarma, that's Arabs as well. Fuck it. All right.

Point is this, as Drew and I have spoken about on many episodes, look, being the only Iranian guy during the hostage, whatever that's going on in a, you know, Lily White, wherever he's from, can't be good. Right. On the other hand, his house was never burnt down and he was never physically assaulted by an angry mob. There are many different races in this country. Some do better than others. He focused on getting his shit together and he's doing well for himself.

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