The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Classic #948: I Wish I Didn't Have A Birthday

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

November 6, 2018 - "Adam and Dr. Drew open the show by finally addressing the slow devolution of the show’s intro and why exactly it makes Drew laugh so hard. They also examine some recent controversial comments made by Don Lemon about white men as how he is able to make such broad wide ranging statements about such a large group of people. They also explore ideas of ways to improve the way that our news is delivered."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

At Harrison Healthcare, we know that lasting health starts with personalized care. We're not just a clinic. We're your partner in prevention, helping you achieve your health and longevity goals. Our expert team combines evidence-based medicine with the compassionate, unhurried care you and your family deserve today and for many years to come. When it comes to your health, you shouldn't settle for anything less than exceptional. Visit harrisonhealthcare.ca.ca.com.com.com. Time for another throwback episode number 948. We open the show by addressing the devolution or evolution, however you want to describe it, of the show's intro and why it makes me laugh.

It still does. We also examine some recent controversial comments made by Don Lemon and how he is able to make broad, wide-ranging statements about like large groups of people and characterize them however he wishes and how he gets away with that. We explore ideas of ways to improve the way our news is delivered. Enjoy. Episode 948. Recorded live at Corolla 1 Studios with Adam Carolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on.

Got to get on. make you laugh. Because it's so funny. I'm not sure what's funny about it. But I agree with you. It's funny, but I'm not sure what's funny about it. It has deteriorated into grunts that loosely approximate the musicality of what you normally say. And it's complete, it's grunts.

And we know what you're saying. But I also realize, like, there's, it's sort of like when you talk to homeless people and you sort of know what they're saying even though there's it's an interesting thing if you get a bad phone connection and every third word is skipping out

you still know what they're saying but in this case if you were to slow it down it would be hang on no choice I get on I know that's back on

I want to think life lock at lifelock.com use a promo code out and they're works relief there works relief.com truecar.com download pluto tv for all your devices it's like the Picasso of vocal intonation the Picasso of of of announcements you've taken it down to its barest sort of qualities but you know it's weird and you still recognize it as what you meant to say

yeah it's kind of funny I do know impersonations but I do something called Jay gibberish which is Jay Leno gibberish. And you can sort of go like, you know, so I was there and I was talking to Jay and I was telling him working on a new documentary about cars, Willie T. Ribs. I was that. I said, yeah, you'd enjoy Jay. Yeah, all right. We'll bring it by and we'll do a screening at the garage. Oh, no, I didn't, you're going to host the Peterson Gala? Is that, what's that knows?

Oh, okay. Well, you do what you got to do. It's about cars. It doesn't take much time. Like I was, you can do, there's a Jay Gibberish where you could do sort of what Jay, you can actually have a conversation with Jay Leno. But when he gets excited, let's try to do it. He gets excited, it can have a little special quality to it.

So, Jay, you're going to be at the Peters Museum hosting? It's got to be somewhat of an honor. You got some of it. I can't get excited. I'm too tired as Jay, gibberish. I saw him do stand up that at the. gibberish at the gibberish at the gibberish car museum uh he's in uh he's on top of his game man he was really funny i really uh really enjoyed it uh drew yeah you're jew right no

feel threatened today's society no although although although i'm a little talk about co-opting uh two percent of the population 58 percent of the hate crimes the uh jews yeah oh yeah and uh And when people say hate crimes, they never, ever include Jews in the sort of discussion about what they mean. Well, there's kind of a thing which is... They deserve it. Is that your thing? No. I've decided that the language is what's being controlled to the point where, you know, things like, you know, hobby lobbies did not. By denying birth control to their female employees. Like not denying, they're not denying it.

They're not paying for it. Right. But that's very different than denying. By the way, denying, as I've said, denying Gary of lunch makes me a cruel boss. Not paying for his sandwich every day just makes me the boss. Now, I could be exceptionally generous and say, I shall buy you lunch. every day or you can use your own money in your own time to buy lunch but there is no part we're denying yeah but they were they would you know what they would do

they would go know what well what if they can't afford birth control isn't it the same thing isn't it effectively denying it to them because they can't afford it no because well first off I is birth control a 89 cents a day or is it a buck 19 a day or is it 51 cents a day I don't know what What birth control is, I imagine that everyone who says they can't afford it has cable. You know, I mean, if you really want to just distill it down to, if you're working full-time for Hobby Lobby or whomever, you have a full-time job, you're making presumably $13 to $20 an hour, whatever you're making, then you have an income. Now, how you choose to spend it, that's sort of your, that'll be up to you. But that's not denied, it's not denying access.

Just like, you know, when Gavin Newsom says black and Hispanic people don't have access to checking accounts in California, half, by the way, he stated, that's not access. They've chosen not to have checking accounts. It can't be half. That's an insane number that I'm sure he was. lying about. But there's a difference in the language. If it is half, they ought to be solving that. It'd be nice. Yeah. Oh, it'd be nice if that was considered a problem. Now, in terms of the language, you hate crimes are committed against minorities. We have changed a definition. of minority from smaller amount of people to people who weren't doing well financially and

beyond so Asians and Jews since they're above Caucasians in the median income and all the all the yardsticks you use to sort of measure a group success education income family status you know whatever degrees advanced degrees blah blah blah since since Asians in Jews are outpacing white folk in that world. It's basically, you know, Asian, Jew, Jewish, Asian, and then whitey, and then Hispanic and black, or whatever it is. So they're not oppressed. They're not oppressed. So, well, everybody who looks different than Dolph Lundgren is being oppressed.

Okay. They somehow have figured out, see, look, I'm scared of people who look different than me. Okay. somehow unable to oppress the eastern Indian people and the Asian people and blacks from Africa, not not from Chicago, but from Africa and then Jews. But I am effectively oppressing black people from this country and Hispanics. Oh, in women, sometimes. Although there seems to be a lot of successful women.

They live longer, and there's more of them in college. But anyway, I'm doing a fair to Midland job at oppressing women. I'm doing a kick-ass job at oppressing black people and a decent job at oppressing Hispanics. Jews in the oppression department, not so good. And same with... That's why you've got to focus of hate crime. Well, here's the thing. hate crimes are for minorities

minority is a status not by having fewer numbers but by not it's now been redefined to not doing well financially in this country and thus the Jews are excelling financially in this country so it's hard to commit a hate crime against a minority that's not really a minority because they're doing well therefore they're doing the oppressing they may be involved they have to be

I haven't seen them in any of the meetings but I'll bring it up when I go through the minutes of the last meeting as I'm as I'm apt to do. All right. Let me tell you about, it is interesting, the whole, this concept of minority seems a little bit flawed in today's. Well, yeah. Yeah. You know, I want to talk about Don Lemon's comment about white men being the source of terror. My favorite part about all that goes on on CNN and MSNBC is.

You have a person who's explaining that old white men are the cause of all the pain in the universe, and there's an old white guy who's sitting next to the person who's saying that, which... Well, by the way, the man who said that, we're talking about Don, is married to a middle-aged white man. Oh, he is? Yeah. Well, not his guy. I'll let me tell you about the lifelock. For over three years, a software vulnerability in the Google Plus social media.

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They're LifeLock, right, Drew? No, it can stop every cyber threat, prevent all identity theft, or monitor, transaction, and all businesses, but new LifeLock with Norton Security can see threats you might miss on your own. Go to LifeLock.com or call 1-800 LifeLock. Use promo code Adam for an extra 10% off your first year, plus a $25 Amazon gift card with annual enrollment. That is promo code Adam. apply. So I wanted to flow to theory to you. So Don Lemon said that, you know, white men are the source of terror and particularly right radicalized white man.

Sure. You want to hear it? Oh, the Don Lemon quote. Let's hear it. Yeah, sure. All right. This is last week. So we have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized right, to the right. and we have to start doing something about them. There is no travel ban on them. There is no ban on, you know, they had the Muslim ban. There is no white guy ban. So what do we do about that?

So per Don, he's not going to demonize anybody except white man because they need to be demonized. That's pretty broad net. Yeah. But here, let me float a theory. I think I've mentioned to you before, though. So watch this. So there's several different interesting thoughts I had about that statement. One was, well, first of all, violence and terror, you can take women out of that, except when they're radicalized in sort of like a military sense.

They're weaponized. How about sister-soldia? When they're weaponized. They can be weaponized. I loved her. But women do not. It's young men typically. And in a country where most people are white, it's going to be mostly white young men that do that.

But they sort of are disproportionately represented. That's what this case, they say. But now some of that is, they forget to tell you that most of that or a significant part of that is terrorism against abortion clinics. Of course, they don't think about that as terrorism, but that's a big piece of what went on that the white guy was doing. So fine. We mean white men in general. Yeah. And they're terroristic attacks.

So here's an interesting, I want to float this there. I don't know if I floated to you before. So this country, when it was a wilderness, the guys from England and Spain and, in Holland that decided to come over here were not exactly the guys you know sipping tea in the king's foyer they were the criminals

they were people that were let out of prison to go do this you know as an option to prison they were alcoholics they were like it was a genetically fucked up group came over right so the first the people that we are the white European descendants from which we come

if you are your descendant of original settlers are going to be of a certain genetic makeup. I love we are going here, but I'm trying to think of like how many people are daughters of the American Revolution. That's right. No, it's right. Then there were many and of course they brought black people over with them

and there was other people that came. But for the most part, people that decided it was a good idea to get on those ships, not your average citizen. Not your average citizen. Well, look, anybody who came here pre, anyone who came to this country, before ships had steam power. Oh, yeah.

So these are people who are going to get on a wooden sailing ship and travel for months. I don't know. Hey, Gary. Yes, sir. The voyage from, let's just say Europe to the United States and a wooden sailing ship was X amount of weeks, you know, back in the day. How many of them actually ended up where they were supposed? opposed to end up, you know what I'm saying. So this says that usually took at least six weeks and could take as long as two to three months.

There you go. Anyone who made the agreement to get on that ship was escaping something or certainly a sort of stock that said, I'll roll the dice. Right. So alcoholic. Okay, so that's who came over. Then amongst those, there was a group of. total nut jobs that thought it was a good idea to get in a wagon and roll on through the Indians territory.

I mean, think who those people were. So amongst the genetically sort of oblique, the ones who thought it was an great idea to move on west, no wonder all the mass shootings, all the white middle-aged males that are out in Nevada and the western United States is where all these people and all the Jeffrey Dahmer's and all the crazy, crazy, crazy people tend to be kind of West, which is sort of interesting, isn't it? I like, I love an origin story. I don't have the data to know.

I don't have the data to know if they are like from the stock that came on over the hill here in the next century. No, but I get what you're saying. And so it makes sense there's sort of a genetic story here that people need to take a look at too. So I'm just saying. All right. Well, look, it's in our genes. Don Fleming I never

It's been brought up before I never Yeah where was Dommer from The first line In Fresno or Sacramento or something Or what was he Oh no no wait a minute Hold on

I don't I don't want you to tell me You got it He was God damn Indiana Wisconsin shit It was like one of those places He was known as the blank cannibal Or the blank monster

And the blank Affing City but by the way the Midwest is included in that Milwaukee there you go thank you

but it was ask me when my mom's birthday is who you've been to Milwaukee the winter she's alive you've been to Milwaukee in the winter you had to have

I'm sure Mike has dragged me there so I could play a theater you have to screw you have to have a screw loose to we went to fucking Winnipeg in January I'm sure we've been Milwaukee in December Fredonia New York So, I like what you're saying.

I get what you're saying. I never, the part, the part I always feel weird about, or not weird about, but I can never quite wrap my mind around is Don Lemon is black and he usually talks to middle age or older white guys. And he's married to one. And he just says this stuff to them. And there's two parts of the equation I think are weird. One is that he says that to them because it feels, I mean, obviously he's been empowered a lot lately because he didn't start off this way. But saying that, like, you know, I have a nanny. She's Guatemalan. If I said like, you know, the problem is it's it's it's these, these women. From Guatemala. I mean, that's the issue. It's the middle-aged women from Guatemala. I mean, that's, I would feel very weird and uncomfortable saying that to her constantly. And then also, I would be strange for her to sit there and just nod her head knowingly.

Like, I bet she would pipe up and say, well, not all women are not me or I'm not. But certainly you can't be talking about the whole country. Right. leaning, right radicalized. So not you call me. Well, we've, we've we've, we've we've, um, yes,

we've clarified it. But also, I don't know, the notion of attaching a race to everything all the time. It seems it seems, um, disingenuous, but also feels

and, and sorry if I'm searching for for words, but If I were a minority on a station or any kind of, any kind of, I suppose the only way I can discuss it is the only heritage I can wring out of the barrag of my DNA is I'm half Italian. And if I found myself constantly referring to Italian peoples, Italians, you know, historically being oppressed, Italians doing the work that the Irish wouldn't do and the word WAP is very offensive. Like if I just kept sort of getting back to a theme or even I was talking about gondolas and pizzas and stuff like that, if I just kind of kept weaving ravioli into every discussion and I just kept talking about Mussolini. and alpha-Romeo's and stuff. Like, at a certain point, I'd feel a little self-conscious.

You know what I mean? Like, hey, there's a gubernatorial race in Florida. Good. Let me see if I can graft a little Italian heritage onto that and explain how the one guy's part Italian and obviously that's a dog whistle to non-Italians. Like, I'd feel really self-conscious and weird. Self-conscious.

Super self-conscious about it. Yeah. Wouldn't you? Yeah. It wouldn't occur to me to be the problem. And that's white privilege. I don't know why Don Lemon doesn't feel self-conscious about, like, constantly just sort of grafting race and specifically black race in most of his conversations. Here's what people have to understand.

Media 24-hour news cycle on cable news, 24-hour delivery of news, because you can get it on your phone now, it's not become about news any longer, because it's on your phone constantly. The phone gets it quicker than anything. So they can't compete in news anymore. So they have to get your eyes somehow. It's a commercial enterprise, period, period. It's a commercial enterprise that gains its commercial success by capturing eyeballs. And it does so through doing extreme sorts of expressing extreme emotions, which attract our eyes. Now, it's up to us not to watch.

If we watch, it's on us. So they're going to keep doing it. And they're caught in a death match with Trump where they take anything he says personally. and then expressed all this outrage on the heels of it. But can I can I? And then, but that then becomes a means of gaining commercial success. So they're going to keep doing it. Right.

But can I tell you what would be more effective? Tell me. I'll tell you a second. First, I'll tell you about True Car. Yeah, the news. Delivering the news. How about they delivered the news? Well, there is no the news anymore.

There's just how you perceive events. True car. Hmm. I'll give you a tip. True car, they help people get used cars with a certified dealer network and nationwide inventory of nearly one million used cars. Enjoy real pricing on actual inventory in a simpler buying experience. Whether you buy new or you buy use, you see what other people pay so you know you're getting a good deal.

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We have a thousandth show coming up soon. Anybody making note of that? How do you know? Because I just saw something. We're still several weeks away, but we're definitely on it. We know how much landmark episodes mean to Adam, so we'll be sort of pointed out. I brought it up because I knew Adam wouldn't. I don't know why those things never mean anything.

Because you have a brain and your brain tells you that's arbitrary. And it's just a reason to make note of something. that's all. Humans like having reasons to make issues, to make an issue or note or make something special or different. It's something with how we lay down memories and things. It feels, the way I'm

wired, it feels like a waste of time to even keep track. Yes. Of numbers of episodes you've done. I'm always kind of interesting. Like when I was a when I was young,

I had a younger I had a friend named Root. Rudy, who was later featured an episode of hoarders. Oh, my God. Was Rudy the guy that went nuts on you guys when you went to Mexico? Probably. He would drink and go crazy? Probably.

Oh, my God. I didn't know he was on hoarders. I was told. And I was, evidently, there are a few people in my life that have been featured on episode of hoarders. But we used to drive around, and he was perfectly nice guy. had a good sense of humor and he had a big American sort of land yacht

you know Chrysler or whatever back when it was kind of a novelty in the mid-80s to not be driving anything but a Honda or Selleck or something you know in California and L.A. Plymouth Belvedere or something and drove a B-2-10. He'd go fill it up

and every time he filled it up he kept the little log like in his glove box and he would open the little sort of detectives pad like, yeah, man, just a fax, you know, and they'd flip the page over. But this was this for taxes? No.

It's not for anything. It's just he would ride it down. Like, okay, 13 gallons, 28th, January, 1987, you know, put it back in this thing. And I was, of course, very scattered. And I would just go, why are you doing that? And he's going, well, keeping track of how much gas they use and how much whatever. And I'd say, but then to do what with, you know, you're going to change your driving style? I was like, no, I got an average 13 miles a gallon last week.

Right. Then he averaged 12 the next week and 14 the week after that. But what do you? He would just sort of compulsively. It was always just logging data, you know, and I would keep saying like, but for what? But for what? There's the hoarders thing. And he'd say, because I should because I have to, because of whatever.

And my wiring was always like, well, why are you wasting your own time? unless we're going to go back and look at this. I don't look at, by the way, I don't think of, like, diaries this way. Like, oh, it'd be fun to look at a diary from when you're 21. I would suspect the fundamental source of this is birthdays, that you're making note of the passage of time, and they have numbers associated with them, and we give special mystical powers to numbers.

Well, the birthday means nothing to me. That's right. That's what I'm saying. Because of everyone who came before you and came after. you it just doesn't I know it seems soulless but I'm glad you heard that every human being has a birthday there are millions of people that share your birthday I know um uh any you know all for an excuse to go out and have dinner on on a Friday night but it it doesn't feel like you did anything but humans need to acknowledge that they exist and that they're seen but how

about we celebrate accomplishment i always wanted achievement i want a thousand shows i want achievement a thousand shows yeah but we're just sitting here talking about doing shows you and me it's the worst part it's us i mean i didn't even know what a thousand shows is it's us it's our accomplishment so therefore it's worthless i don't i wish i didn't have a birthday i wish i was born on the 32nd of may we should have a belly button I wish I didn't have a belly button. Or I had one and it's filled with sand. And it's not a morose thought.

It's not a depressive thought. I love achievements. I love trophies. I love plaques. I love standing on a podium. For real things. For things that are actually accomplished. The best.

And I want that. I mean, the fact that I get to be first team all the. Valley for the rest of my life is the greatest thing ever. I'll be old and the crepe and shitting, whatever. You can never take it away. We can never forget it because you can never forget it. You keep reminding us. Now, you know what would be helpful, Drew, as I was saying, be more effective way of delivering

the news is to occasionally agree, for instance, if you would like me to hate President Trump, or Dr. Drew, instead of just telling me what Dr. Drew has done wrong or what the president has done wrong, constantly and endlessly without interruption, every once in a blue moon, you go, well, Drew did help that one elderly woman, but that's rare. Let's not lose track of the fact that he's an alcoholic misogynist who gouges his elderly patients. Because it tends to make me believe the negative if you toss in the occasional recognition of something. Well, so it makes them human.

So it's like not just a caricature. Yeah. And it also makes it makes me believe you believe what you're saying. one of the guys I always enjoy is Tucker Carlson and Tucker Carlson frequently in the middle of debating somebody about something goes well I do agree with you on that if that's what intellectually honest people do

and that's what they want to do they want to be changed and if that was your if I think that should be a bipartisan thing and if that's something you're for then we do agree on that and then so the next thing he says, I tend to believe he believes. Right. Right? Yeah.

Because he did say, oh, we can agree on that, or I do agree with you on that. Or I came. I sat here prepared to disagree with everything came out of your mouth, but not that. That I agree with. And if you say that, which is bound to come up now and again during a debate or during a discussion, and you're intellectually honest, then it tends to make me believe what you're saying after that.

Not only do you look like somebody who's genuinely trying to assess the accuracy of the situation or the facts, you're also learning, expanding, and other people expand with you, and you're role modeling. This thing we've been saying everybody should be doing, which is discoursing and listening to everybody

and more collaboration, right? Yeah, I had him on my show a few weeks ago, and I said, you know, you do tend to do that. And he said, well, I like to learn stuff. Exactly. That's how you learn stuff. That's how I feel.

I want my mind changed. Yes. Because if it's changed, I've grown. Right. If you can't change it, it's because you're not giving me a good argument or good information. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing, engaging, and monetizing. And that's where Podcast 1 Pro comes in.

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