The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Dabbling In Gay Porn (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Adam and Drew open the show this week discussing the way that Adam wants to make sure that he shares experiences with his children. Later they take listener phone calls on having an autistic parent, recovering from childhood sexual abuse and porn addiction.

Recording live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Corolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on. That's Dr. Drew. I'm a go by ace. I had my kids in last episode. I we didn't fully get into it, but I like the shared experience part. I love the bringing them. I've said a million times when we did our event for the Children's Hospital in Malibu and brought out John Popper and all the cool bands and all the cool people and all the lunch trucks and everything. My wife's like, well, the kids need to, we need to get a babysitter.

It's not a kid's event. It's boos, it's bands, it's adults. I said, oh, I want them there. And she said, well, that's going to be a hassle. And I said, it may be a hassle, but I want them to experience this. I want them to see what mommy does, what daddy does. This is mommy planning this and putting this together. These are daddy's relationships.

You know, calling in favors. This is raising money for a charity. I want them to see that. I want them to experience that. I think it's the best thing they can do. They'll remember it. Seeing, yeah, like I think examples, seeing your parents do the right thing, seeing your parents be kind or do philanthropic endeavors, you know what I mean? It's sort of like, as I've said before, you're eating a donut and smoking and talking your kid about eating healthy and exercise, message, not a great message.

Not received. Kids, the best message is, daddy gets up at 6 a.m. every morning, jogs five miles. I used to remember him coming through the door all sweaty while I was eating my cereal at 7.15 every morning. That's message sent, right? Yeah, absolutely. The other thing we were talking about when your kids were in here was how you let them fall. We were talking about, we got off on to Natalia and her thrill seeking gene, but there was

a piece of that where she wanted you to create more of a thrill for her by backing away. When you were catching her, she jumped off the bed. You backed further and further away until the point you knew she would fall. She demanded it. You let her fall. Right. Your wife got pissed. But I'm saying that we never got to talk about this.

I wanted to, which is that letting them fall literally and figuratively is one of the most important parenting skills there is. How do you safely let them fall? Because you telling them don't jump off the curb, don't jump off the bed, whatever, not as strong a message as when she hit the carpet. Right. And this is what I see all the time with patients with drug addiction and things like that. Let's hope when she gets to be an adult she doesn't hit the carpet too hard. You know what I'm saying? I'm just saying, yeah. Well, I meant it that way.

Yes, as an adult. But a lot of parents can't do that. They're so fearful of the falling. I don't. And seeing the kids uncomfortable and miserable. This is all the flip side of it is I can't even see them uncomfortable in their achievements in baseballs. We have to give them all awards because they're all special. I I assess the risk which is wall-to-wall berber. Sounds like a good gay poor name. We're going a wall-to-wall barber. No, I assessed the risk. It was carpeting. It's your top or bottom.

Use a middle. Very rare in the industry to find a middle. Carpeting, then padding underneath the carpet. Second floor, raised foundation, meaning no slab. And no obstructions, not going to clip the dresser on the way down or anything, just nothing but carpet and padding and a little give. People don't realize, but that plywood's got a little more give than the slab. And mixed with a little road rash, like it could be a little carpet burn on there, but

I was okay with that and uh... she did it and she landed and she she cried and she ratted me out to mama but uh... as we learned i didn't really at the time she was a little too young probably about four years old to really get into the dynamic of it psychologically but No, right. But now, years later. And by the way, we don't have a lot of moments where like, oh,

yeah, I distinctly remember that. She distinctly remembers this. We have not talked about it in the interim. It's not like we have it once a week. I go, no, remember the time? So that conversation we had with her on that last show, that was the first time you guys had talked about it in years. Oh, that's interesting.

Because she talked about it like you guys had shared this and had a few laughs about it. Now, that's the thing that's interesting is we spoke about it for the first time on our last show as if we'd talked about it quite a few times anecdotally. Like this is, hey, this is our little message. And no, no, never came up, never spoke spoke about it so it was burned into her psyche and I'm sure it will remain there forever and with her hatred for you my dad yeah so and she if she was recounting that story as a teen or an

adult to a group of mothers, they would have a horrified look on their face. She would go, it's really the kind of thing where you can say, my daddy was one of those guys, there's two spins. You go, my daddy was one of those pull yourself up by your own bootstraps guys. He wanted me to have grit. He wanted me to have grit and he was the kind of guy who believed he could teach you a lesson out in the field faster than you could learn it from a textbook and one day I'll never forget I was jumping off

the bed I was three or four I kept telling him to move back he kept saying you weren't gonna make and you know what my dad and I know it must have hurt him he let me fall but he knew that that would teach me a valuable lesson about you might you know that in life There are falls and that you're not invincible and blah blah blah. Oh that way or she could be going he smelled of beer and mangria and He'd and I told him to step back. I was a little kid. What did I know? I thought I could levitate that asshole let me do it and he just gladly and then he just took a draw off his cigarette and watch me tumble onto the carpet I could have easily got a compound fracture my fever. And listen how you would torture me by pretending not to be able to catch me

thinking that yelling for the dog when I'd be midair. Right and people would be horrified. People I have told a few people that story, a couple of parents, a couple of moms, a couple of dads even, and they looked at me like, you did what? And I said, I stepped back and I kept stepping back and I told her, you know, on a number of occasions, if I step back one more step, I'm not going to be able to catch you when you jump. And she said, move it back. So I did. And she ate carpet.

And they looked at me like, so why? I mean, what did you, A, why did you do that? And B, you're kind of a bad parent. That's where we're at. I agree the part, and the same thing. You don't want your kid to experience physical pain. You don't want your kid to experience emotional pain. And out come the trophies. We're all number one.

Same thing I deal with with drug addiction when the kid's developing real trouble. And I say, call cops, get them arrested and do not bail them out. What? I could never do that. Right. Okay, well the kid's gonna die then. Right. Oh no, no, no, I wouldn't let that happen. Right. That's not how it works. Right, you're not gonna let that happen. Right. Yeah, no, I agree and I drove over here today in an Aston Martin vanquish which is $275,000 work of art, which was given to me for like four days. There's a picture of Sonny. You can go to the website.

Oh my God, there he is with the car. What's our website called? AdamandDrDrewShow.com. You go there, you can take a look at Sonny leaning against a vanquish like he owns it. And I realized both the kids were coming. And Sonny I had in the back because there's not much of a backseat, but there's enough that if you take the seat in front of it, the passenger side, and push it all the way forward, you can kind of get in there.

But if you take the driver's side and push it all the way back, which is where I need it at 6'2", there's no room. So I put Natalia in the front seat, not in a car seat, just in the front seat with the seatbelt, and she was going ballistic. She'd never ridden in a front seat before. And it was funny. Sonny, who got in the car first, was in the back seat and he was like, why did Natalia get to ride in the front seat?

And Natalia was great. She was like, because I got in the car second, there's no room behind daddy. And then the whole time over to the shop, she's like, oh, the view is amazing. This is glorious. This is spectacular. And Sunny's like, what? What's going on? He's like, oh my God, this is better better than imagined like she never stopped talking it up. I think Sonny felt like I always feel

When the pilot and they should never do this like when they go Those you sitting on the left side of the plane a picturesque view of Snake River Canyon that gorge is Two million years old carved out by the Colorado River. Anyway, if you're on the left side, if you're on the right, enjoy the Sky Mall. Or your own reflection as the tears roll down your cheeks looking out the window at clouds. You know what I mean? Like, don't do that if you're on the left. Essentially take more than half the plane because then they're the people that aren't against the window. You are taking nine tenths of the airplane and going, fuck you. Sorry.

You're not going to see shit. And cause them to hate the people in the window seats. And or sort of lean over the guy's tray and try to take a look. Anyway, funny, flying used to be such a novelty that there'd be a lot of like, look over the right side, you'll see the roof of an industrial building. Cleveland, we're flying over Cleveland now. It's such a novelty we're going over now, it's not much look out. But there was Natalia in the front seat and she had a rush on because she'd never been

in the front seat. And then I had to do the sort of thing where it's like, uh-oh Child no child seat, you know, and then I did Fucking cars got a million You know crumple zones and blah blah blah. And by the way, Natalia is a big girl She's over 50 pounds at this point and I know we have this regulation that is like But I've done the math. It's like, got to be 5'4 and 65 pounds or something. Adam, there's no difference between a 75 Impala and a 2013 Vanquish.

I know. How dare you? I was doing the safety math on all the miles we traveled. I've also done the math though. They do a thing where it's like you have to be over 5 you know, five, two, or four, nine, or whatever, and you have to be over six, nine, nine, and realize, well, how come Danny DeVito doesn't have to travel in the child's seat?

Right. Just because he was born at a certain point? Like, yeah, Brad Williams, why doesn't he have to wear it? He's not that... You gotta look up online and see what that size is. And I think that fucking size just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. But my thing is, usually kids backseat, I put in the backseat in my car, put seatbelt on, and it's fine. Ten times safer than we ever were.

Alright, so kids, I like, here's what I like. Daddy gets a vanquish for four days, those kids are getting in it. They're going around the block. They're having fun. They're going to have a story to tell. I bring them to the shop all the time because why? Daddy's building. I want them to see, daddy, here's what goes on. Here's daddy at work. Here's daddy working.

Here's daddy building. Here's how it works. I want those messages sent. Children under the age of eight must be secured in a car seat or booster seat. By the way, those booster seats, you can't get the fucking seatbelt hooked up three quarters of the time. They're wider. The problem with new cars, dig, Drew. Digging. New cars, the back seats are like bucket seats. They dip in. They're not just a bench like back in the day.

And the booster seat is wider than the bucket, so it has to sit sort of askew. You know what I mean? And it's wider than the seatbelt. It sits on top of the female end of the seatbelt. You have to push it aside. All right. So you're wondering whether it's even safe enough. It's just a pain in the ass.

Children, anyway, if you're under the age of eight, you must be secured a car seat or booster seat in the back seat. Children under eight, who are four, nine, or taller may be secured a safety belt in the back seat. Children who are eight years and over shall be properly secured an appropriate child passenger restraint system blah blah blah safety belt All right for nine how tall is Danny DeVito? Especially Brad Williams, but half the women's gymnastics team right is now Yeah, an app or operate a motor vehicle without a child seat. That's in the front seat All right, DeVito says 5-0 for DeVito.

I bet he's rounding up. All right. I'd like to give him a seat for his 67th birthday. That would be fun. Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Kroll Show. BetOnline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting from the earliest odds to in game live betting. BetOnline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen

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We got a bunch of you know, Doug Stanhope visited me on my show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. How was that? It was interesting. Gary, I'd love you to ring in here and give you guys thoughts. We have a chance to talk about it. On the DoctorDrew.com website, the Dr. Drew podcast, Doug Stanhope came in with a head of steam. Now, tell us a little about his background as it pertains to you.

He does like 17 minutes on me and hating on me and hating on some of his stand up and attacking my choices and things. And gonna air June 26 by the way. June 26 you'll see that episode. And he came in and I don't know what his. Why did he come in? Well because apparently his as I understood his his people, his fans really wanted that, right? Correct. Yeah, his fans tweeted it drew. So I just reached out to him through his website. And he flew out. He made a special trip out here for this. I mean, I really from Alaska from Alaska is crazy. Why did it come from Alaska? He was doing he was returning from a stand up game, but he lives like a couple miles from the border in Arizona. Okay,

so he's stopping through on his way home. The last border in Arizona? I don't know the map that well. Mexico border. Oh, okay. You don't know geography? I don't know what part of, I don't know if it's Yuma or Phoenix. I don't know what borders Alaska, but keep going. And he had a lot of preloaded stuff he was doing. I don't read any of this. I get hurt really easily so I just sort of stay away from all of it. But I know it was really, like really

saying terrible things. He came in though, but he looked me in the eye and he had a conversation. I really appreciated him coming in and being willing to have an exchange about it. It turns out he has all sorts of issues with 12-step. He was dragged to 12-step meetings as a child by his alcoholic mom. He's an alcoholic drug addict. So there's a little background. A big resentment. How much sobriety does he have? Oh, no, no. He's a unrepentant, active, never going to change, using, and it works for him and that's how he is.

What's he use? Mostly alcohol, I'd say. He's a pot in alcohol. Well, he's a lot of alcohol. I'd say with a lot is. But that's him. That's his whole deal. I don't think he's ever going to change. At least, I don't know if somebody says to him, you're going to have liberties in a year

if he'll stop. I don't know. I don't think so. But really felt that this was all pseudoscience and who am I as a physician to be able to recommend pseudoscience. What's the pseudoscience and who am I as a physician to be able to recommend pseudoscience and what's the pseudoscience part? The 12-Step is a religious-based program and how could something that's based in this God concept be a medical, you know, applied medical treatment?

And I tried to explain, you know, the difference between faith and the higher power thing and how to me it had an application in terms of it got heady. I'm not sure it's appropriate for this company. Yeah. Well, but my feeling is I have things like Buddhism, which I'm like, oh, who cares? Yeah, I mean, someone's chanting. No, but helps them good at my world peace. So they want a color TV set. Who gives a fuck? Right. They're just going to chant on it. Right. And I'm that way with 12 step. I'm'm an atheist. And, you know, if you want to pray, pray, you know, or whatever you want to call it. 12-step is really there's you can get you sober, get you sober. Yeah, it helps and it's a way of working.

And I've never seen it really work for an I would do a severe severe drug. I've never seen anything else really work for that. You know, it's weird. So did you guys break any bread or bury any hatchets? Yeah, no, I think we did. Do you agree? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Drew gave him the chance to kind of air his grievances, and that was a little

bit like half the show, and then after that, it was pretty cordial. I mean- Yeah, we took calls, and we shared our differences. But I told him, one of the things I could see is that he's a very sensitive guy, and underneath all that bravado. He's like really tender well So everyone I mean everyone no everyone with a lot of bravado yes like it's funny summer asshole some are just Narcissistic dicks don't give a shit and really the core is a million miles away That's true, but I found and I agree that is true

And there's also this diversion of the guy and the girl who are you know you see them screaming at the person and you know you're not the boss of me and how dare you and then they're sobbing in their car 10 minutes later. Yeah. That's what I like about me. You don't do it. Oh you do sob? You're more like the Indian commercial.

It's just a single tier. The thing about Doug Stano that's interesting to me, or maybe not, is when those guys went on to host the show that me and Jimmy created, I had no feelings about it. Other than I did 100 episodes and now I'm moving on, and history will decide which version they liked the people liked better. I'm always insanely confident like when I moved on from Loveline and I think Kevin Wetterly said they wanted a 23 year old Hispanic with a great sense of humor to take my place. I just well we'll see how history does with that but I'm I had no, I have no thoughts about it. Like to me, it's a weird wiring for me, I guess,

or maybe it's better this way. I don't have any thoughts about Doug Stanhope taking my place or stabbing me in the back. He should have never, I don't have any thoughts about that. It was a gig for him. It was a show we created and never thought about it again. I even have weird, it's weird when you bring it up and I don't even recognize for a few beats that that's the guy or Joe Rogan or whoever.

Just never, I never think about it. I don't know why people do. Why do people think that way? I mean why, there's nothing in it for you. I think it's kind of a weird resentment. It's like you're going to try to show me up and no one could fill my shoes think it's kind of a weird resentment. It's like, you're going to try to show me up. No one could fill my shoes. It's kind of a threat in a way.

Well, I'm going to let them prove that point by doing a subpar product that people will reject, but I don't need to explain it. I'd much rather just let it happen. Let it happen. I think I'm more in that zone too. Yeah. I'm with you. All right. So you guys... But anyway, so here's the interesting thing about Doug.

I was just thinking to myself. He's got a girlfriend with schizoaffective disorder, which is like, sometimes she's psychotic and sometimes she's not. He sort of celebrates the quirky, you know what I mean? The chaos or the quirky? Well, not the chaos, the quirky. Like, though she's sick and and I know she's sick, and I love her, and she's probably never

going to get much better. And I'm really not going to get better either, and the alcohol works for me. And it's sort of something quaint about it. You know what I mean? It's like, you don't have to fix everybody, is sort of the notion. And you can kind of see.

I'm with that. No, I'm with it, too. Especially if you can pay your taxes and show up on time for your gigs. Right. And my thing is, if he wants help, I'm all here, but I don't have to fix him. I kind of see where it's going. I don't see good things ahead, but maybe it works for him.

Well, how much drinking do you think he's doing? I think he's doing a lot. Well, all right. I mean, certainly in the evenings a lot, and most days. I can't judge him for this evening. I think he'll be a good supporter of Mangria. He hit that tap a couple times Oh, he did not o'clock in the morning. Whatever was 10. What time was it? All right. Well, also he was dealing with you

You know trying something to take the edge off man. Grea takes the edge off Is that why you hit that every time we do a show? You know I am I am As you as you know and as I've said many, many times, I have my vices that I thoroughly enjoy. And maybe I like them like guys like certain things. I feel more like turn of the century, like I enjoy a pipe after my meal. Yes, they would do things that were not good for them. We actually have a tweet here that Doug sent shortly after coming on the show

Oh, wow, that's so funny If it don't make it through the airport security, it's cuz of man, Korea. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw that that was funny Yeah, he was he carrying a bottle with them or something or is he just on board? Yeah, it's just drunk. Yeah It'll get you there But now but I really do I really sort I really sort of admire is not the right word. I sort of, I liked him, I liked his sort of... People have a spirit. Yeah.

And some people's spirit you like and some people you don't. You can kind of separate some of their... But I particularly like that he could have a relationship, a relationship when somebody's not well and he's not well and it's like, eh, and we make it through. But is there something to this I do feel like they're guys that like Chaos they like friction. This wasn't that though. No, I don't mean okay I'm saying There's certain people that don't know they're alive unless they're mixing it up

Yeah, and there's something going on. Yes. And there's a kind of a, fuck that guy, and he said, what about me? But see, to me, that's a kind of a scarier thing. That's somebody's head in for trouble. Well, I don't know. Because I... Well, let's put it... I'll put it to you this way. There are plenty of people that have the Lexus Nexus thing where anytime their name pops

up, it comes up. You know, you say this is how Jimmy is, at Man Show, Adam Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel, something like that. Now part of it is first job, you know, it's material, stuff that works, stuff that he uses. Maybe I should have it for me that says Adam Carolla, Man Show, Love Line, Jimmy Kimmel. You know, when shit comes up with people I know, projects I've worked on, what have you, someone writes a blog or an article or something for good or for bad, I see it.

But I don't wanna see it. By the way, did you see it in the New York Times article that I had where you were referred to repeatedly as Mr. Carolla? Every time you heard Mr. Carolla said, it's like, whoa, did Chris and Gary get ahold of her and tell her he prefers to be referred to as Mr. Corolla is it it is a a fine fine example where people said

People tweet me. Hey, did you see the New York Times thing with dr. Drew and then a couple things There was something online and then maybe there was something in the paper or was it just online? It was the same article, same article. No, it was a big paper. The paper and online. People tweeted me and people said, hey, you said this about Drew and people said, hey, you're talking shit about Drew or whatever it was, some good or some bad or some just

hey did you see this and I never looked at it. Well I want to thank you for that. I didn't have to deal with one of Paul Newman's cars like I'm just not I'm not interested I literally I know you can tell me Drew. Dig. I sit around most days thinking about like tire sizes and rims and how to get the combination of the rims and the tires and the offsets and how am I going to run those 18s and how much offsets are there being, brake clearance and caliber clearance and stuff like that. And when someone tweets me five tweets that says there's a thing with Dr. Drew in the New York Times and you're quoted in it a bunch of times, check it out.

I don't check it out. Yeah. There's nothing in it for me. Yeah, yeah. If it's good, it's good. If it's bad, it's bad. I'm not interested. I don't.

I get it. I should be, but why am I not? You and I have been that way all the way along. We just sort of don't read our own stuff. Well not only that, I just try to avoid everything and then people offer it up to me. Well I think A, we've got other things out on our mind and B, we sort of know things kind of come up and then they go away. You know what I mean?

They just, today, today, tomorrow, not even here. All right. What do you got in your hand? But I'll tell you something, it is here. To stay. To stay. Stamps.com, my friend. Stamps.com.

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Let's talk to John, 21 Seattle. Parent has autism. Oh boy. Ooh-wee. What's up with that? Hey, guys. Hey, John. Adam Drew.

It's pretty good to be on your show. Love you, buddy. What's going on? Not too much. Just looking at the rain here. So my question has to do with my upbringing, which recently it seems like it's really hard for me to get attachments, I guess. And I feel like I can relate this back to probably my parents, to my dad who left me I would say in fifth grade, and my mom who has high functioning autistic. And I guess my question would be...

Hold on a second. High functioning autistic could be, I don't know, Woody Allen or somebody. Yeah, Asperger's sort of. If you're highly functional, I'd rather have high functional autism than like my mom, which is no autism and no function. Okay, well she, I wouldn't even say high functioning. I mean. Well how do you know she had autism? She has autism.

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wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait um... he that's kinda what it's crossed my mind lately i a m is social i don't you think so you have a meaning i get by have plenty of right used a lot of friends i mean i get some tight school

it's kinda like alright what are you doing a lot of more low with we don't know john i work at a restaurant around here and went to school for a while uh... unfinished yet but let me say this we had true and I went to school for a while. Haven't finished yet, but. OK, let me say this. Yeah. We drew guys, especially guys that don't go to college,

but even guys who go to college and then graduate. Males, between the time they graduate high school and let's say 25th birthday, maybe 28th birthday, are pretty fucking rudderless. Oh yes, and sort of dangerous too. Dangerous, well rudderless is dangerous because when you have no rudder you crash into a lot of other people's boats. You were depressed and you had your own issues but at least you got put on some shitty conveyor belt where you went to college and you got sort of you're pushing

Well, I want direction right once I got to medical school. It felt good because I had a structure Yeah, but before that you still just went from high school to college Yeah, you didn't have any there wasn't any chance for you to deviate even though you were depressed about it Yeah, there are so many guys that are just like 22 like should I join the military? Should I drive an ambulance? Should I work at a restaurant? I don't know if I got someone pregnant. Like oh shit. Oh man I'm going to have another beer and think about this.

Just no skill set, no college, no education, parents fucking broken up, disaster, my mom lives in an apartment in Oregon. Like she's fucking bopping around looking. And then when someone then when someone says, Hey man, you make a lot of money growing wheat in your basement or carry this package into Mexico and I'll pay out of Mexico or whatever it is. Things sound like a pretty good idea. Yeah. You know, just bust that window and grab that watch. You know, there's a lot of that. And it's weird that as a society, you know, we need to get a hold of these dudes. I say dudes because they cause the problems.

They cause the crimes. It's looked upon. You understand. People talk about it. Sociologists talk about it. Yeah. But as far as the government goes, getting hold of guys that are in the 11th grade that are clearly going nowhere academically and

saying look we're gonna get you into this I don't care it's a forestry service digging fire lines or something but we're gonna put you into something where we get a shovel in your hand or wrench in your hand really start working this thing yeah instead everyone gives me a bunch of shit but it's all we have you look at whenever you look at civic unrest it's young males without work that's right big correlation but you you look at civic unrest, it's young males without work. That's the big correlation between violence and civic unrest and social disorder. So here's the thing about John.

John's 21. John's right in the middle of that. I'm working in a restaurant. I went to a little school. What John needs to do is realize he's 21. He's got a million different feelings. I was 21. First thing got a million different feelings. I was 21, you know. First thing you get is your friends. Have a circle around you. If you don't have

your family, build up your friends. Because he's had friends, he knows he can do that. Right. You work in a social environment. You work at a restaurant, you know. So you have that. So have your friends. And then work on yourself, physically and mentally. Like literally go, I'm going to read this book or I'm going to listen to this audible book. Get to that in a second. You're going to do that. I'm going to do a hundred push-ups a day.

If I have to spread them out two at a time over a course of 24 hours, I'm doing a hundred a day. Like start kind of training yourself, working yourself, beating yourself a little bit, focusing and really just trying to train yourself. And start focusing on education, friends, relationships and stuff like that. And realize at 21, you're not going to have anything figured out for five years. You're not going to feel good for a while either. Right.

It just doesn't. Women at 21 are the bell of the ball, so they have the, I'm too busy fending off advances from 41-year-old producers. Pluto TV has all the shows and movies you love streaming for free. That means laughter is free with gut-busting comedies like The Neighborhood, Boomerang, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Bueller. Mystery is free with countless cases to crack from Criminal Minds, Tracker, and Matlock. I'm a lawyer like the old TV shows. Hey Jesse? Yep.

Michigan, moving to California. Yes sir. And you were sexually abused. Yep, when I was very young. Let me ask the question, I'll give you a real quick timeline and I definitely want to hear your thoughts on it. Alright. So I need to seek help. I need to talk to somebody. I've known this for a long time. My dad's known this for a long time. The problem is I always I Want people to like me so I will rather tell you the truth. I will rather lie and tell you all the good shit Just to avoid all the bad stuff that's happened to me in my life. Why did you say? Why did you say your dad has known that was interesting?

Well, my dad, well, he's got a medical background. He's seeking help. He was also sexually abused. He's kind of guided me. Your number's four and five out of the people that know about my sexual abuse. No one else knows. Could I be four and Drew be five? I'll take it. So this happened to me when I was very young. First off, I was diagnosed with a clear cell sarcoma, a Wilms tumor in my left kidney when I was four years old. So I went through two weeks of radiation, nine months of chemo, and then on the tail end of that, parents got divorced.

And then in the process of my mom going back to work and me going to daycare, I began to go to my best friend's house. His mom was a caregiver of kids, and he was the one that sexually abused me. He was a little two years older than me, and the hero to all the kids best at sports. And I idolized him, and then this happened. This went on. one on hold on.

It's all right you are what age when this started right around 7 to 8 years old. So he was 10 or something up 9 to 9 10 and this this one on for how long. It went until we moved away. I was around. Well, they moved in March of 89. No, no, no. I was getting to that. It went on for about two to three years. So I was around 10 years old.

And he was 12 or so. Correct. Okay, well, a couple things. Drew, I don't think makes as big a distinction of this as I do but the difference between the almost peer versus father McBride in his 50s is a big deal to me If I found out that my son was being diddled around with with another peer Versus long-haul trucker, there would be a completely different. I wouldn't be happy about either one, but to me, the peer on peer stuff, or almost peer,

this guy's a couple years older, not great, but the peer stuff versus old dude stuff is. It's worse. To me, it is tenfold. And I don't mean it's 30% worse. I mean, it's quite a bit worse. Also, hold on, quiet down. Your dad and you have shared this conversation.

Correct. And you're here to know the whole story. He knows that it happened. He doesn't know who. He doesn't know how. He doesn't know how long. But your dad said that this had happened to him too. Absolutely. From a very young age, from when I was very young. And I chose not to share

it with him then. Interesting. Right. I don't think you, I think you should get help. I think this should be discussed. I'm wondering if you're taking this cupcake and turning it into a bundt cake. It's a pretty big deal for people. I understand what you're saying. Your point is well taken. There are many, many, many people that have gone through this.

And I'm just saying, here's all I'm saying. I'm interested in, here's what I'm interested in, Drew, dig. Have you been through this? Yeah. Did this happen to you? Well, I... there's little kids. Did... like, no, not two-year relationship, but it's like, you know, cross swords and ding-a-ling stuff. Yeah.

Well, but it becomes sexual-sexual though, when it's, you know, when it's oral sex. Well, I don't know what sex is when you're pre-pubescent, you know what I mean? But there's a lot of like... When one kid has been sexually abused by an adult, which I will act out in adult fashion. If somebody is being sodomized, you know, I don't know if you're... I don't know, is that... What are we talking about here, Jesse? Everything but that.

There was an attempt at that, but when you're that young, I mean, it was clench and that was all I knew to do. I mean, he was, you know, he made out with me. I had the strength to say I don't really want to do that anymore But he was he was he was my best friend. I didn't know any better Here's here's here's what I'm saying. I'm not I'm not interested in Telling people that have real problems like hey man, just dust yourself off I am interested in going you need some therapy, man. You're fucked up. On the other hand, there is an element with me personally,

it's a sort of act as if thing, which is walking around feeling like damaged goods from something that is over 20 years old in your life. I don't think you need to walk around and go, man, I'm a mess and I'll never be right, and I really need help, and this has really destroyed my whatever. I feel like maybe you're clinging on to this too much. I'm not saying don't talk to someone about it and don't work on it, but I don't know if I would...

Don't feel destroyed by it. I don't know if I would build my life around this, my adult life. Here are the two things that are going to be a problem for him. Relationships, he's going to have issues interpersonally. He's going to. Already happened. Already happened. Yeah, but, okay, a couple things.

And secondly, he's going to have trouble. A lot of, most everyone has such problems. I understand. And he's going to have trouble regulating emotions. His regulatory system is going to be affected by that. And that can all be helped in therapy. That's all. Just go to treatment.

Yeah. And keep in mind, people that haven't gone through what you've been through have trouble regulating emotions and have trouble in relationships as well. I'm just trying to be a voice here that is telling you, Jesse, you know, whatever your dad went through and him sharing that with you is awkward and interesting. You went through not something you wish upon your kids, but many, many millions of people have gone through it. And I agree with Drew, discuss it, but let's not make it who you are. Oh yeah. Yeah. How would you go about picking the right psychologist? I was here about talking

to somebody, but who picked the right one. I just think anyone... You want somebody with a license, you want somebody with a PhD or a PsyD or MD. Other than that, you don't need the best. Most licensed professionals will be able to handle this. You need to purge this and feel like you're in the process of this, who you're talking to. That's important. LSWs are good, too. you're in the process of this, who you're talking to, it's important.

I've had a lot of, I've talked to a lot of therapists, they've never imparted that much wisdom. I don't know which your experience has been, Drew. See, I don't think therapists should be saying much of anything. Well, they don't. They should be just sitting, attuning to you and getting you accustomed to being understood emotionally, sharing almost like Bio-rhythms together. You're just being present with another person fully. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's hard. It's hard for some people to you know, that's a skill

Either way Jesse, let's not make this the thrust of your broken life. Yeah. Yeah, let's say this is an episode It happened 20 years ago and they're, you know, on the spectrum of molestation. This is a two and a half, but there's plenty of tens out there. And it does not have to be your demise. So let's focus, move forward, talk to someone and again, not make it who you are. Brian. 26 from Seattle. Let's see, he's lit up here. Sounds like. Brian?

Yes. What's going on? So big fan guys, thanks a lot for taking the call. Thanks. So lately I've noticed that, and it's been ongoing for probably the past three years, two years or so, I've been getting attracted to men,

and I think a lot of it is based on the amount of porn I've been watching, and then it's moved into different types of porn, and even gay porn. But I don't find men attractive or anything like that. But it's sort of like the sexual drive that I have is just like really overwhelming and I can't really contain it, but nobody else really knows about it. It's not something that I'm letting people know about. It's just something that's like private.

I'm just a little concerned. I don't want it to get out of control and I don't know what you recommend and things like that. Are you married? Yeah, I've been married for five years. Do you have any sexual abuse experiences? Not that for five years. Do you have any sexual abuse experiences? Not that I know of. Do you have any kids?

No, one on the way. Coming from China? Go that route. All right, Brian, the dabbling in the gay porn. I just drew, I think we're on the same page here. I do not know a legitimately straight guy that just dabbles a little in gay porn. No. And we have constructed a society where we don't judge.

So when you go, hey man, what's wrong with the guy just checking out some other guys? You know, this guy's great and blah, blah, blah. And you go, yeah, what's wrong with the guy just checking out some other guys, you know Just got great and blah blah blah and you go. Yeah, what's wrong that and I think women are more sympathetic because they are much more flexible There is there is you do not suck cock part-time as my grandfather used to say really Mm-hmm full-time kick. How old were you me first told you that? No, I was old enough. I said eight. Yeah full-time get how we first told you that now i was old enough as a yeah as a um... but that seventy state as a different a was right on the slice of the plate frame

i was pushed out uh... it's not it's not part-time you don't dabble in the pushout lies play frames as second cox and part-time get the car was opal jefferson star plane was your band? Jefferson Airship. I put the opal and the Peugeot together called the O'Pew. So here's the thing. When you're saying you're dabbling, Drew, you've never, I like porn.

I'm not uptight. I'm not whatever. I've just never wanted to see gay porn ever, ever, not even out of curiosity. I don't know any guy who has. And then to have a sexual response to it, that's in a zone that you can't even make yourself go. So Brian? Yeah.

Well, what do you think? I mean, I don't have the desire to fulfill any of these sort of fantasies or be with like, I don't find that to be a portion of my life that I want to change. You know, and I really, I love my wife and I love women. It's almost like the taboo nature of it is sort of appealing. Yeah, but they got plenty of straight porn that will quench that thirst. Are you still sexually attracted to your wife? Yeah, and we're regularly active together.

Are you ever a drug addict? I went through a lot of addiction issues in college with cocaine and marijuana. No abuse, huh? But I mean, I was never admitted to rehab or anything like that. And I haven't done anything like that in seven years. You've had no abuse in your life. Not that I know of. I mean, I never abuse in your life. Not that I know of.

I mean, I've never. You keep saying that. That's a weird answer. Yeah, not that I know of is a strange answer. I mean, I have no memory of that, if it ever happened. The only thing I could recall is similar to what Adam was talking about earlier with, like, you're in the sandbox with a bunch of dudes,

and you're crossing sword streams, you know what I mean, like trying to pee. You're like five years old, and everyone's whipping it out and showing it to each other. I don't know how normal that is or not. Yeah, but as long as it doesn't become sexual, nobody... Right. Well, Drew and I have argued about this before. It is sexual in the sense that you know it's wrong. Let's put it this way.

Adult sexual. Well, no, what I'm saying is this. If an adult walked in the room, you would stop doing it. Yeah. Like, it's wrong. You know it's wrong. I understand, but... And you know it's not just about... It's about the pee-pee, you know?

I understand, but it's not adult-directed sexual behavior that they can only learn from an adult. Yeah. And that's all I'm asking. And so, Brian, here's the deal. I would cold-jerky it, as Adam would say. There's no point in developing these fantasies. You are a monogamous person.

You wouldn't cheat with a man or a woman because you're committed to your wife. Don't inflame all that. Focus on your marriage, focus on your relationship. If you want to talk to somebody about this, sort of explore it further to see if it is really something real about you, that's up to you. But in the short term, I would say focus on the monogamy with the commitment you have. There is an element that we're missing a little bit,

I think, in life where you have a choice. Like, you can go, look, I know this is wrong, but I want to do it. And I'm impulsive, and I can't stop. You can stop yourself. At this point, you can. know this is wrong, but I want to do it, and I'm impulsive, and I can't stop. You can stop yourself. At this point, you can. At this point, you can. Right.

And if you can't, then you go get some help. That's the difference. You can or you can't. If you can't, you get help. And if you are actually homosexual, and this is beginning to verge and forth, time will tell. And again, you should get some help with that if that starts to happen. All right.

I'll tell you what will be a pleasant distraction. Audible, baby. Audible baby, audible.com, Internet's leading provider of audiobooks, more than 100,000 downloadable titles. Including our titles? Hell yeah. You can get Drew's What's His Nose book over there. That's right.

Mirror Effect. Mirror Effect. Yeah. Or you can get the New York Times bestseller in 50 years, Wallaby Chicks. By the way, that book had a lot of predictions about what's going to happen in the next 50 years. It's on. It's two and a half years old and most of that shit's coming, most of those chickens

are coming home to roost or not Taco Bell material. Anyway, tons of good stuff and for our listeners, we're offering an audio book and you can try it out for free. That's right. I'll tell you another good book. Albert Brooks has a good book called 20-30. Really interesting book. You may want to...

The Audible book for the airplane, you know, these things are five, six hours long. It's a flight to New York. Five, six hours. Whatever. Whatever. Put them on. For a free audio book of your choice, go to audiblepodcast.com forward slash Adam Drew Show.

Get a free book, audiblepodcast.com forward slash Adam Drew Show. There you go. All right. You got it? You got it. Forward slash Adam Drew Show. That's what it says. All right.

Should we do one more? Yeah, one more. Let's talk to... Not Adam Dr. Drew Show, Adam Drew Show. That's correct. Mike, Atlanta, asking all the right questions. Hey, this is Dr. Drew. What's going on? Mike. I just wanted to first thank you so very much for all you've taught me about grit and hard

work. Good. And my state of mind is always that I'm very unlucky and I'm always trying to work harder. So my question quickly is, how do you get to the point where you're not doing your job? I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job.

I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. I'm not doing my job. My state of mind is always that I'm very unlucky, and I'm always trying to work harder. So my question quickly is, at what age

should I become a dad or start thinking about being a dad? Or what kind of considerations should I do? Now, Drew, you're laughing, but I did a thing for Dennis Prager on his PragerTopia thing, where I did a little five-minute videos. I did one on consider yourself unlucky and consider your kids unlucky. Yeah, that's good.

And then work accordingly. I'm super unlucky. Me too. Yeah. And everyone goes, what do you mean you're unlucky? Look at this. Oh no. Look at your cars, look at the shop, look at this thing.

And I go, that's me. You're fortunate, but you're not lucky. No, I built that. Yeah, you're fortunate. I go to Vegas, I don't come home with shit. Ever. Right, so think of yourselves unlucky and now Vegas, I don't come home with shit. Ever. Right. So, think of yourselves unlucky and now you have to work twice as hard as everyone else.

Meaning, if you have a test and it's true falls and you just go true falls, you're going under 50%. I totally agree with this. We never talked about that. We never really got into it and I don't like the fucking people thinking they're going to just go buy Screr and change their life. I want them to think they'll never fucking win that. You're never gonna get by on luck.

You're never gonna get picked for a date or by the coach or by the principal or by anyone. If something is left up to luck for me, I know it's going against me. I just prepare for that. I thought it was... Oh, I don't even... I want something... I was thinking this the other day. I was watching the Stanley Cup playoff.

I thought, wow, the only thing I ever wanted in my life, I was at a Kings game once, I wanted a hockey stick. Right. Only thing ever. Here's the thing. They gave it $10,000. I don't even go out on auditions because I know if it's between me and three other people, I ain't fucking getting it.

Every job, if you guys want to think about every job I've ever had, I've either built it or created it or they've said said we want Adam Kroll to do it There's no oh, I beat out ten other people to get to this that that don't happen to kids Yeah, when do you have kids? When do you have kids? Well, if you're asking when you're probably ready and and You're 27 Atlanta. All right, and you work hard and all that stuff, but you need the right woman. I have the right woman.

And stable, stable relationship for a woman. I have a wife that was put on this planet to be a mom. That's good. And I think you want to be close to 30. Yeah, well, he's getting close to 30. There you have it. I think he's ready to rock. He's thinking about it.

It's good, yeah.. There you have it. I think he's right around. He's thinking about it. It's good. Yeah. It's good. Listen, a lot of you ass wipes out there, you go out and I hear these stories, all of them. I think about it all the time. Fucking ex-wives, fucking nut jobs, bat shit crazy, fucking... I don't know.

It's on the booze, on the pills, on the... I can't control this. Fucking anyway, we've been divorced for four years. Fucking nuts. I have a nine-year-old, a 12-year-old, and I have a 15-year-old girl just going to high school. And she's got them. She's got all three of them. Yeah, she's fucking batshit crazy. She's batshit crazy. Batshit crazy. I leave the kids with the crazy bitch. It's a lot of that. A lot of that. And where are you?

You're in Florida. Even the ones that are around and have visitation and shared custody and stuff, what are you having the three kids with the bat shit crazy broad for? Is that what you want for your kids? Most important thing in their life is mama and that mama's bat shit crazy according to you and you got to get away from her. Guess who can't get away from her Guess who can't get divorced a fucking nine-year-old. That's a live in the house with the batshit crazy mama I mean, it's fucking it's insane. I mean that's what my dad did

You know he had kids with a crazy woman and then went whoo. I can't fucking deal with this depression anymore Anyway, so you have fun Yeah, I mean Right. Listen, I heard a kid say something the other day that I thought was so profound. I think I shared this with you once. There was a trouble in the relationship and there are four kids and the mom goes to like this 11-year-old. The 11-year-old is complaining, I want you mommy to stay together.

I want you to stay together. I don't like this. I know you don't get along. The mom sits down and goes, you want, listen, mommy's unhappy. This relationship is mixed very unhappy and don't you want mommy to be happy? And he goes, yeah, mommy would be happy, but isn't my happiness important too? Right. The kids.

I can't. The kids are not happy when you make these choices. Right. There's bat shit crazy. And like I said, my dad's like, this chick's depressed and I can't hang in this environment anymore. But my happiness. You don't think about that, screwball parents, you're making horrible choices.

Well, also, wouldn't you want to be the same person that was sort of in the house kind of making sure that people got fed and taken care of and stuff like that? No, baby. Taking care of number one. All right. Let's tell you, if you want to go to... I'm going to click through our Amazon. Go through our link at adamanddoctordrewshow.com. Show us a little love.

You're going to get something from Amazon. Go through our adamanddoctordrewshow.com and we ask, because you're so generous, subscribe via PayPal. Five bucks a month. put yourself in for five bucks a month what do we get get eight shows a month yeah eight shows a month we'll step that up. We might even step that up so what do we figure out with 62.5 cents show that seems reasonable for your amount of education and my grit and my it

I forget I got it. You've got to pay for it. You've got to pay for it. Also me and Dr. Drew, first three shows, live shows, Bakersfield, Santa Barbara, Denver, all brought to you all under five bucks and all on iTunes. So if you want to support us, that would be a nice way to do it. Or if you couldn't make it out to the show and you want to hear what it's like in front of the live audience, masterfully put together and edited and engineered by Chris Max Pata,

come on, support the pirate ship. So until next time, Sam Kroll for Dr. Gru, Chris Max Pata and Gary Haftard saying mahalo. Follow streaming for free.