The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Flings (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Adam and Drew discuss Adam's recent victory in the Long Beach Grand Prix and the possible reasons behind Adam's stepfather not coming to the race. Later they examine some of Adam's childhood surrounded by his friends Ray and Chris and take listener calls on picking therapists, ending a relationship with your fiancee and internet dating.

This is Corolla Digital. Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Corolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on. And welcome to the program. Once again, I'm Adam Carolla. That is my partner in crime, Dr. Drew. Good to see you, Drew. Hey, Adam. I was just thinking outside how strange our relationship has become in that I walked in

here, we didn't exchange words, and I thought, oh man, I gotta congratulate Adam on the Grand Prix win. Well, not until the mics heat up. I gotta wait until the mics heat up. We can't do anything except one thing. I thought, oh no, there is one thing. And you started it just before the mics heated up. You can just give me shit about something. Give shit about something and we carry that on into the show

Yeah, we can do that, but we can't do anything else about mics or camera or something. It's all really it's got weird Oh, please we fuck I really I've we sit in a car for two hours at a time. All I do is talk but But I really that fact that I that like fucking dinner a month ago. I want to say congratulations the Grand Prix. Thank you. That's a big deal. I have a couple things to say about that. That's it. No, no, I'd like to get to that. I'd like to get to a psychological mindset and how it affects things and and and how I was able to win but how I used psychology to to a large degree to help me in my victory and and also my hyper vigilance and and that kind of thing so it's it's interesting to break down break it down psychologically to take something that's a very visceral sport where it's a

lot of gears and noise and crowd and stuff like that and turn it into this psychological thing. But it kind of makes sense like any sport, right? It's your God given physical stuff, but then there's all your awarenesses and how you take in the field. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? That's all neurobiologicalological stuff. Yeah speaking of that. It's funny. So I keep these Buck slips and I've used these things for quite some time. They're called buck slips. They're called buck slips

They used to have them they used to say the man show on the top and Daniel used to always get it for us And he'd make all these little lists. He turned me on to these little cardboard things now Why are they little cardboard? Well, they're three inches wide and 10 inches long or nine inches long and they're stiff so you can sort of hold them and make your little lists and I tell people all the time write it down and they go I don't need to write it down and I say the fact that I've told you to write things down maybe 150 times since I've known you, suggests that you probably do need to write things down. You're aware of it.

By the way, when you have a conversation, whether it's could you please remember to lock the front door or write things down, that doesn't come in a vacuum where I just go from house to house talking to people about locking the front door. There must be some history. To motivate you. Not history to motivate you not lock again what's your motivation well if somebody said please quit quit leaving your fresh dumps floating in the toilet

is a welcoming gift for me when I enter the bathroom if you'd never done it before in your life then it's a bizarre conversation to have. Why would you be so... Don't let this shit... So it must be based... Let's get some weird paranoia about seeing a floating shed. But it must be based on you doing this activity... To prompt you. It's prompted the conversation.

Yeah, it prompts you. It's priming. So the argument of I don't do it is the wrong argument to have. Doesn't make sense. Not in the context of this conversation since that's the conversation we're having and again I'd have to be insane to have pre-conversations with people before they did things. It immediately falls into though, oh Adam's an asshole. Right.

Quickly goes there. I tell people write things down and then I use these bucks lips and because I'm efficient and weird I write on both sides of them so once I get all my little notes and all little things I want to talk about on the show on one side I X them out yeah and then I turn it over and I work the other side yeah I found I found my buddy Ray Oldhoffer's bucks lip that he's left on here as an offering to me. And I thought, well, now first good for you, Ray. You're using a buckslip.

You're writing things down. Probably told him a hundred times, yeah. Yes, you're writing. I don't do buckslips with Ray. I do things like you should wear shoes on a construction site. Things like that. Where's your tape measure? It's at home.

You know, you are a carpenter. You should have a tape measure it's at home you know you are a carpenter you should have a tape measure on your belt right it's in the truck yeah but put it on your belt so we don't have to go out to the truck and get it every time those are the kind of conversations I have with Ray but I also have the write it down on the bucks lip I now have the buck slip in my hand that he's been using okay one side is his name. It says Ray Oldhoffer on it. 30 times. And then what else? Sarah's name, Lynn. And then just X's. And weird lightning bolts and crosses and minus signs. The other side is, now I'll turn it over for you the

other side is Ray Oldhoffer again ten times and then more X's. Wait wait wait there's another name on there look at that right in the middle upper Lionel Hampton. Okay what the fuck is that? I don't know he wrote a jazz one of the great jazz. You wrote Lionel Hampton's name. so the Lionel Hampton's name is written once Ray's name is written 128 times and then the rest is just a bunch of X's and what could be? Just sawtooth designs just I want you to know I think he did that when I was interviewing me He's on my podcast right now with Chris and they had a few things say we'll talk about that later My point my point is is this with this which is this is what I did when I was in the seventh

grade. Maybe. Okay fifth grade. Yeah you just write your name and then you just make X's. It's what you do when you're bored. It's not my version of writing things down. We'll put that up. You can take a look at it at adamanddrdrewshow.com if you like. It's really worthy. Take a picture of both sides and put it up. It's really worthy. Not that you're going to know the difference between side A and side B. Well, Lionel Hampton. Lionel Hampton will let you know the difference between that. I'll throw that down there so

you can see it. As far as the race goes, there's something that is interesting and it all depends how you're wired and you tell me, Dr. Drew, and I'm going to come across sounding like an asshole. Like an asshole? No. Oh no. No. Arrogant?

No. What I'm going to sound is better than than you all Which could be mistaken for arrogant, but it's it's how if it were just fact It's it may sound at first blush just because I say I'm better than everyone it may sound arrogant but I Have a thing where if I say something to somebody like I won't do this or I will do that It's very important to me that This is the way I have a thing where I got you know I could have got killed in the street

Many years ago when I had the bottle broken on me and hit with the baseball bat and all the guys jump on me with your knees or beat me up with my knee surgery because I looked the guy in the eye and this guy seemed to have a physical advantage on me and he said you know let's go out in the street so I can beat you up and I looked at him and I said it's just me and you though right and he said just me and you and then I looked at his three or four buddies and I said it's just me and him Right, and they said absolutely so I said, okay. Well, that was our agreement so now let's go out onto this street with these strange guys and I will fight this guy now later on

The circle of trust was broken when I felt a baseball bat hit me and then a bottle break on me And then all of them jump on me and start punching me. So Evidently I'd misgaged Our agreement we had agreement we had agreement but once I say to somebody This is what it will be then it was fine. Now I walked out With five sort of hoodlums alone to just go fight one of them. I didn't have a care in the world. I mean my only care was I need to beat up the one guy because the other guys

had agreed not to get involved and that's that's all you have as a human being in my mind. But you also have your judgment about the probability of those guys complying with said agreement Yeah, which you left at the door. I did yeah and so I have Discussions with people where I go. Here's how this needs to go unless you don't want it to go this way and then this needs to go unless you don't want it to go this way and then once we agree on it then that's that's it and then we're gonna move forward and I feel like in life there's a lot of and I've used this analogy before but there's a lot of stuff where you go into a huddle and you go snap to me shotgun I'm gonna roll

hard to the right you sprint up ten going to roll hard to the right. You sprint up 10 yards. You break hard to the right. I'll hit you on the right side, right on the out of bounds mark. I'll hit you on the outside shoulder, OK? Ready, break. And as I roll to the right, I'm seeing the guy's back

as he's sprinting for the left pylon. And you go, we just had this conversation. Well, it wasn't two days ago, but two days ago would have been fine But it was it was 11 seconds ago, and you're just doing your own thing What happened to the discussion and the answer normally is I? Don't know That's that's normally or there's something that benefited me from going over here. I think that's normally that's norm I wanted to make a. I think that's normal. That's normal. I wanted to make a touchdown.

That's normal. So. I didn't want to follow your plan. I wanted to go touchdown. What happened with me in the pro race was they, I knew a few things. Well, first of all, what does it mean, pro race? Was it pro or pro celebrity? I didn't quite understand all that.

Okay. What they do is they have a celebrity race which you win like hands down every time right now I just won last year I thought you want a couple now I came in third and there's many things that can happen out there yeah but here's here's the here's the here's the deal they do the celebrity race and they do the pro race and it's the same race. But hang on a second. But then there's the Grand Prix. Yeah.

Which is separate. Yes. I just want to make a strange stand here. I didn't know how little you knew. Yeah. I thought I just wanted a lot of people. They have an IndyCar race on Sunday. Right.

That has nothing to do with this. In my head I thought, did he drive an IndyCar? It's crazy. I actually had that question in my mind, so okay They have the pro race and then the celebrity race and that race is the same race The pros start 30 seconds behind the celebrity With a separate pace car got it. That's how it works out now as a pro with 10 laps it works out. Now, as a pro with 10 laps, you're not going to catch all the celebrities in that amount of time with that distance between you. But if there's

some yellow flags that come out because there's an accident or two, you will catch up to them. So the first thing I did when I put my psychological hat on, as I said, the two guys that qualified first and second in the celebrity category, Mark Stinus and Rutledge Wood are both very nice guys and they're not aggressive guys and they're good drivers but they're smooth and they're cautious and they're not stupid and they're not aggressive. So I said, there's not going to be any yellow flags up front with the pros. Those guys will not be banging into each other.

Every year, there usually is. With the celebrities? I'm sorry, with the celebrities. It's the hard chargers going at it. This year, no Adrian Brody's or Brian Austin Green's or me's that are gonna get into it. So first assessment was, this race is going full without the yellow, which it almost never

does but I figured out that those guys were nice and no one was crashing during practice. That's all determined by the front guys. Most of it, there can be crashing behind them but what's really going to catch us up is crashing up front and I knew that wasn't going to happen and I also knew, I mean I didn't know anything but I suspected because of qualifying in practice with no crashing, there wasn't going to happen and I also knew I mean I didn't know anything but I suspected because of qualifying and practice with no crashing there wasn't gonna be much crashing so winning it overall was kind of off the off the table so I had a conversation with the pros and one of the pros was a motorcycle rider who's from the Nitro Circus,

and he's insane, and he does insane things, and I knew he would do something insane, meaning take someone out, take him out, take both of us out, you know, something. Stay away from him. And the other guy was a super calculated, gold medal winning guy who was like ultra focused, making his career and wants to switch over to race car and is going to approach it with the same

Discipline that he did, you know swimming seven hours a day, you know, so the crazy focused whatever and you know winner Obviously gold medal winner. Yeah guys got a little something in his tank, you know, so I said to everybody before the race and this is the part that There's part of me is disappointed by my fellow human beings. So this is harkening back to the, when I say something needs to be a certain way, that's how it's going to go. It's not needs to be a certain way, it's once we have agreed upon everything. That's how it's going to be. As long as you've agreed on it. You didn't learn that out in the street where the guy hits you with a bottle on a baseball bat. That was not a little clue, a message.

They were young hoodlums. These were seasoned, educated people, which is different, you have to admit. But still human. So still human. And also, I told these guys, here's how I'm wired. I would rather somebody take me out of this race than me take someone else out of a race. That makes sense to me.

Unjustly. Right. You know what I mean? I couldn't live with that. I don't want to be that guy. And I know you're that guy too. I wish there were more of us, but it would, somebody taking me out of the race,

A, I chalk it up to whatever, experience good time, who cares? And then B, I'd it up to whatever, experience good time, who cares, and then B, I'd have a beer with them afterward, and then B, you know, all right, so what, there are 20 cars, I wasn't going to win anyway, but me being responsible for ending someone else's day through some irresponsible, aggressive move of mine, I would not be happy with that and probably could not live with it. Got it. So I said to the pros, now the way the pros work, the way the pros work is we start about 30 seconds behind,

but it's not an exact science. We have our own pace car, our own pace cars communicating with the other pace car that's in front of the celebrities. I get it. And they're saying, where are you, where are you? And they're trying to maintain this rolling buffer of about 30 seconds. The way the pros every year try to make up

four or five seconds is when the pace car pulls off, they take off. They don't wait for the green flag. With the celebrities, pace car pulls off, you guys bunch up, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, green flag, you all go. This is pace car pull off, all go. And I said to the guy, look, when we come around the hairpin at the end of Shoreline, it's a very...

The guy meaning who? All the pros. We had a pro meeting. A little separate pro meeting. You stood up in front of them and said, hey guys. There's only four of us. Okay. And I said, we just walked down the hall and I said, look, when we come around that corner, the pace car is going to pull off. It's hard to get around that corner because it's such a tight corner sort of queued up, so to speak. So to the two guys who qualified first and second, please let us get around the corner. We will come up and then we'll all be gone. You'll still have

the advantage. As soon as you see us come up, take off. I'd say there's about a zero probability of that happening. If I was driving the lead car, there'd be 100% chance of it happening. Or you would have not agreed to it. If you'd agreed to it, it would have been a hundred percent. A, I would have agreed to it. I would have definitely agreed to it because it's only it's only fair. It's only fair. We're all gonna jump the green. Yeah, but what's not fair is us not getting around the corner and you taking off. So we're all gonna do we're all gonna break the rules here. We've all agreed on that. But what is fair is That we get around the corner then we go and and I was really I knew what they want

I knew what was in everyone's adrenaline filled heart and I said look I'm not talking about going down the race course 300 feet I'm saying make it around the corner just 50 feet later. We'll be right up on you as soon as we're on you split. I'm going to predict what happened. They split and went, you were there. I saw you. You were right behind me. Well. You came up.

What are you talking about? No. No? All right. Well, we didn't have the discussion. Oh. Why discuss it? They didn't agree to it, you mean?

No, we didn't have the discussion afterwards. They just blew out. No, they're hung around, but why sit around and discuss it. They didn't agree to it you mean or? No we didn't have the discussion afterward. They just blew out. No they're hung around but why sit around and discuss it? I won you know what I mean? But I was I wasn't comp- was I going to file a complaint for winning? I wanted to win by more. No but as I turned the corner the super competitive super focused guy took off. I mean he was he was long gone and I was in last place and eventually got the win, but I'm just saying I know I predicted, you know, I could have predicted that was gonna happen,

but I don't like the fact that it's a foregone conclusion and guys like you and I don't see in me it wasn't a foregone conclusion. We had this discussion everyone is an Working member of society who loves their family loves their God and pays taxes. You know what I mean? I understand when the Shiites take over the airplane. That's not Marquis of Queensbury, but this is okay, man Okay, cool. Are we cool. Everyone cool super super simple Explanation just turn it way to beat let us get on you and then we and then you go. Yeah, you'll still be in front I Would say why is that impossible? It's a lot of it is when you don't take into account emotion

particularly particularly Arousal right because you don't get that. You don't have it. That's why I win, by the way. I know, because you're cold-blooded. When people are aroused, their things are charged up. They're making decisions differently. In their head, there he is, go!

Even though you might have been 50, just making it around the corner, it's like. Oh, no, no, no. It wasn't there he is, go. He wasn't looking at me. Pace car pulled off, gone. But maybe in his mind. I don't even.

I don't think. Then there's even those guys just, hey, I'm charged up, go. Just fuck it. Yeah, I can't. It was like a dog. I can't. I can't. Yeah, yeah.

There's the meat. There's the meat. There's the meat. You know, you say stay. There's the meat. There's the meat. There's the meat. You know, you say stay. We agree. You stay. You know what stay is. There's the meat. Pow. Meat's gone. Well, that's what you need to be a champion oftentimes. Right. And it just disappoints me that people, they cannot control themselves. It's not that they're bad people. They can't control. It's just pace car off, adrenaline surge, gone. Yes, the whole idea of people not being able to control themselves, me hitting the mic, me hitting the bucket with this, that's something you

cannot understand. Yes, I cannot, especially when it's been discussed thoroughly moments earlier. I agree too. yes, and there's a Because you don't have that no, but I'll tell you this I'll tell you this There's a dusting of narcissism that's involved with this pudding We're making here dear sir because they control themselves pretty well if it meant there was something in it for them You know there is they they they're not so good at controlling themselves when it comes to things that advance them. May I, speaking of advancing, let me propose something really kind of boring though, which

is that we're talking about different brain mechanisms. We're talking about the amygdala and the arousal system, which is like game time. That's the part that when you're an adolescent, that's your whole operating exclusively from that versus the frontal cortex, which is executive and containing and can reflect back on the arousal system and go, hey, stop that. And usually the arousal system wins. Some people it always wins. No, I'm saying when some guy bumps you and getting back to

the car and you get out of the car and it's a balding middle-aged guy with the skinniest arms you've ever seen and he calls you a motherfucker, it's pretty easy to walk toward him. When it's Dwayne Johnson, it's real easy for you to go, hey, man, let me get my insurance and my guy's name is Tim. Well, you just got bumped. It's the same situation. It's just one guy got out of the car looking like Danny DeVito and the other guy got out looking like the rock and you've been able to fucking turn it down a notch real fast adrenaline pumping You turn it down, but I would say that's the the arousal system going down not the executive system either way Because it rouses you scared in a different way now all right

I'm just saying you came out of that car with adrenaline pumping and you've checked it real fast now look there are people out there Where cops have guns drawn on them and they walk toward them going, flapping their arms around going, what the fuck I do. That's, those people are, they're more reptile than they are human being. But I would suggest that, and there's different shades of reptile and human being, but most of us have a little different approach to Danny DeVito versus cops with the guns drawn. But again, I would say it's the arousal system that's operating in both cases, which is I'm

charged up, I'm going to fight that guy, and now I'm scared of the guy. That's the same system changing direction as opposed to I'm thinking about what I'm going to do in this situation. Well, what will happen if I punch that guy? Well, I don't really want to have that happen, so I'm going to contain this impulse. All right. But listen, I've said this to people a million times as well. If the race director came over and said, we know you guys are going to jump this gun, we know it. But if I see when you take off while the other guys have not gotten around that hairpin yet,

if you just take off before you bunch up, there's going to be a $10,000 fine. So that makes me scared. Right. That's an arousal mechanism as opposed to an executive thing which is, hey, be good to your teammates, man. But my only point is break off the brain into as many different pieces as you like. You're capable of doing it. It's one conversation from one race director saying you're gonna get a $5,000 fine away from you doing the right thing. So we all know it's within you, but are you gonna do it for free? Answer, no. Do you think that... And

that's the part that's disappointing because you can do it. $10,000 fine, done. Free, taken off. live betting. BetOnline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen with the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing all your betting needs in one place. Head to BetOnline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun, make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with BetOnline. BetOnline online the game starts here

but but here's the right which is another system but let me just ask this yeah I sat down with Chris and Ray and had an hour with them on a podcast it's up right now is it up now tomorrow sub tomorrow and it was really interesting and I heard about a lot of the abuse you suffered. I mean, it was bad. You know what I mean? They really were awful to you. Oh, they were awful to me.

Yeah. And I wonder if that has something to do with why you don't get frightened, because they burned that out of you. They beat the whole living shit out of you so much that what's there to be afraid of now? Well, yeah, no, I don't, you know, listen, Ray and Chris were both physical specimens in their day.

You've not seen many 17-year-olds and 18-year-olds that were sort of built like those guys were built. Yeah, I get it. And so physically they were incredibly powerful. They're dangerous like transformers, you know what I mean? They're unstoppable. Yeah, really, really strong and then not mean-spirited but they're... A little bit, a little bit. Oh yeah, a little bit, a little bit. But what, you know, when those guys, when you got into it with those guys, you weren't in

a fist fight, but you may as well have been in a fist fight. Elbows were flying, headlocks were being tossed. How about if the two of them got on you? They told me the two of them would get on you sometimes. That's like, Jesus. Forget it. It's over. That's 425 pounds of fucking gristled muscle on you. Forget it. It's over. Yeah, yeah. The two of them, yes. The two of them would get on me. And when they got on me, the attempt was to

Strip me naked and shove me out the front door or whatever whatever it was tickle. That's another thing Oh, I mean this guy but but I mean there, you know, it was full head locks and body locks and and you know, like, you know Yeah, yeah. Yeah was Now it was kind of stuff that I thought everyone did so it never I never thought about it Jesus I didn't know I had people need to listen to this podcast when you we go through an hour of shit They did to you an hour. Yeah, no they they were Look, like I said, look Ray threw a knife. It's stuck in my knee, you know He threw it. I mean he he took a flaming marshmallow and stuck it to the side of my face I mean those guys used to get me in fucking headlocks or rip my shirt off and and and I mean he took a flaming marshmallow and stuck it to the side of my face I mean those guys used to get me in fucking headlocks or rip my shirt off and and and I mean

It was fucking battled. They told me about the shithead story. Battle to the hit me in the hit me in the ear with a piece of shit Well it wasn't a piece of shit. Didn't throw it at you. Smooshed it on you. Well to be fair I tried to duck. Oh Yeah, no, I don't know which one of them shit into a paper towel. Chris squatted into Ray's hand. No paper towel. Chris squatted into Ray's hand. Ray stood waiting for you in the hall.

No, he came after me in the hall. Once you sniff trouble, yeah, he came after you. They were waiting for you. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. After having squatted in the hall and shit in his hand. No, they went in the bathroom. No, yes No, they used to do that too. This one. He said he just really Listen if he's shit in the hall, I would have seen him shitting in the hall. They went into the bathroom because Ray They went into the bathroom because Ray said,

like, I'm gonna go get Chris. And then he said, you want in on this or whatever. To you or to Chris? To me. And I said, I'm not going in there because what would happen all the time is like Ray would go, let's go get Chris. And then I'd walk into the bathroom with Ray

and then Chris would say to Ray, forget about me, let's get Adam. And then they'd both look at me and then they'd beat shit out of me. So I was like, I'm not going in there because there's nothing in it for me. So he went in there to go get Chris and then he came out. And with a sort of hand behind his back. And I was like, I don't know what's going on. What's going on?

It can't be good. It can never be good. It can never be good It's never good with those guys, but those guys were crazy scrappy strong and they and they're also nuts in terms of You know, I mean they weren't you know homicidal or violent but you know I'd come pick Ray up in the wintertime and I'd say I'm picking up on my motorcycle heading up to the hills and he'd come outside barefoot. I'd go, you're gonna ride on the back

of my motorcycle barefoot up in the hills in the winter? And he'd be like, you know, trying to light a cigarette and he fell off the back of a motorcycle because you know, like here's what those guys would do if Chris had Ray on the back of his bike and Ray was barefoot and Chris was just going down the side street at you know 25 miles an hour and 20 miles an hour whatever and Ray went to light a cigarette Chris would think of it funny and pop A wheeling through and drop him onto the asphalt. You know what I mean? Like that was a joke Chris would think of it funny and pop a wheelie and drop him onto the asphalt. You know what I mean? Like that was a joke That's that was our idea of humor like it wasn't oh shit This guy doesn't even have a helmet on right and he's barefoot

Oh, it's good to drop him onto the asphalt of the back of his motorcycle. You guys were like feral children I didn't realize Chris got kicked out of his home at 13 You fucking imagine that he was Lee said he was living in your garage with you at 15. Yeah, he was. What do you mean, yeah? Think about it. Imagine Sonny at 13. Oh yeah, yeah.

Get out the back, dude. And with your friend Chris, whatever, he can go in the closet in the back. Well, to be fair to Chris and Chris' mom, he wasn't quite that young. And he was a troublemaker. You know what I mean Chris's mom, he wasn't quite that young and he was a troublemaker. I understand he was in trouble and not well and got worse. So what are you, a 13? It's illegal. He put a kid on the street at 13? Well, it wasn't now.

He didn't put him on the street. He said 13. He was in your garage at 15. Yeah, he could have been in my garage at 15. I could have been in my garage at 15 I mean he was kind of mean can't drive a car. He was kind of in and out of his mom's apartment. Yes. Yes He was in it No 13 he wasn't out yet not out out 15 out out. Yeah 13. I mean listen fucking Adam You're just fending this shit. These parents had no 15

We just did what we wanted fucking adam you're defending this shit these parents and well i don't know if it's team uh... which is the only one it fifty he well see that's coming from someone is normal none of us were normal well we didn't know it wasn't normally just you did your own thing you know i mean you did your own thing starting about thirteen

did your own thing wait till till your kids are thirteen. What are they now six? Seven? Mm hmm. They'll be seven. They're halfway. You know what I mean? It's like. Yeah. It's not that much longer. No, listen, it's insane. But no, we came and left as we wanted. No, I get that part. That's the sort of, all right, that was the seventies. But this business of, hey, we don't, no, I'm sorry, you're too much trouble, man, get out of here. And with his dad, with the firebird, being cool doing drugs, having sex with chicks, that's his dad.

Well, his dad went to jail. I mean, his dad came and stayed with us before he went to jail. In the garage? In our apartment when we were older. I mean, like 2021. Now, but at that time, yeah, we did what we wanted. We didn't do any homework, we didn't do any paperwork,

we didn't fill out anything, we didn't turn in anything. We just rolled around, just did what we wanted. You made one of those podcasts that they did with me, because it was interesting to hear their sort of take on all this now. Yeah, I'm I You know, it's you come off looking good. Okay, did they because they they sort of copped to how abuse Well, I didn't know that much better and you know, they were my friends you guys agree and look like yeah

Yeah, we felt sorry. I felt sorry for Adam most the way through that conversation Yeah, well, I didn't I wasn't having a great time because of you know, my family and stuff like that No, I understand and I got a little insight into that too, you know that What were they thinking? Were they thinking too? I mean my family I don't Again, my family wasn't thinking of anything. Yeah, but you had a stepmom involved in it too at that point I didn't realize she was already in by the time you were 13, 14, 15. Yeah. And that was confusing to me because she seems like a reasonable person. Yet she participated in kicking a 15 year old out of the house. That's

where it goes. You're a little bit to a trouble, man. Yeah. I mean, look. It's confusing. That's all I'm saying. You know, whatever, you know, I don't have any real excuses for how anyone would approach life. I find it confusing. The part that's confusing to me about my family is that I enjoy my family. You're your kids, you mean your current family. Oh yeah. Yeah. Even though you never see them. You're never around them. My Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I even though you never see him You never around my kids. Yeah, you know your wife never I get reports back from the nanny, right?

No, I took my son out The other day and I'm talking about day before yesterday I took my son out on we just took a long nature walk and we brought the dog Yeah, and we took a big hike and we saw a snake eating a rat and ran in some other dogs and, you know, talked to him about what he wanted to do. And I said, you know, by the way, it's great with kids. I'm like, what do you want to do when you're an adult though like for an adult job he said well I want to build an elevator that goes to the top of Mount Everest and I want to think I want to build my own Iron Man outfit and take care of bad guys this is

not exactly the point but I guess what what should I have expected from a six year old I like it but I went out and you know it's like we watched on Sunday we watched her basketball not game but like clinic like their practice we go out and watch their practice you know the kids the Sonny and Italian and they make a basket you cheer you know it feels it feels good and so I enjoy them doing things and they're not doing a lot but if they won the pro celebrity Grand Prix or something and they're up on the Jumbotron and there's 50,000 people there I think I would enjoy that in some years. Right. I don't

know why my family chooses not to enjoy it and I and I've sort of realized that I don't know that my mom can experience joy or is comfortable with it. And let's define joy. I believe joy is an interpersonal experience. It's different than happiness or euphoria. Joy is something with another person, with other people. Right. Or about other people. So I don't think she's capable of experiencing that. Yeah. And because if you don't have that, how would, why would you go to do things where that's evoked? Cause you don't have it. So I said to Lynette, it's like I said,

it's always, it's always a crazy thing for me because I go out and I do these events and these things and these things are, you know, look, it's not winning an Oscar, but for, you know, it's 40, 50,000 people, it's a Jumbotron, it's a stand up and spray guy with champagne on a podium, it's get awarded a big cup, you know, it's a whole nine yards. It would be top three of one of the funnest things you could watch your kid do but I realize with my mom she has Don't experience joy. So winning neither here nor there Then there's a part where you could get into an accident and get hurt. She makes her anxious makes her uncomfortable Right, and then there's part we come in seventh place or something and that's the other deterrence she has to come out in a

crowd just a drive to get out of house yes to get dressed that's a motive to get move around it was a very I did something that I have never done drew this I got here I invited my stepdad to come to this event. Yeah, yeah, he told me this, yeah. Yeah. And? No, thanks. So I also invited my nephews to come too,

but they had some soccer game or something. But the point is, it's a weird thing when you get the speech, as I told you from my mom, like don't worry about me, but John over here could use a break from me. Could you bring him by the shop? Show him the cars Could you you know take him out, you know, could you take John out? Show him a good time? you know what I mean give him a break and I said I never do anything like this because

This is the way it this is how it always ends But I said it's sort of like it's it's it's sort of sort of like this somebody said to me like I know what the ending to most stories are but once in a while someone talks me into being a human being and I was talking to a trainer friend of mine named Kelly and he said some years ago when Jimmy's son was on the Notre Dame high school, you know, like B team or freshman team or something. Football? Yeah.

Long snapper. Jimmy's son? Did it one year, I think. It was a long snapper. And he said, this guy, Kelly said, why don't you go talk to Kevin? Go show him how to do the long snap. And I went, no. And he said, why not?

He'd probably get a kick out of it. And I said, I don't think he's gonna wanna hear what I have to say about it. And he said, you're such a good long snapper. You give him a couple pointers. I bet he'd really appreciate it. I gave him the, no, you're not gonna wanna hear what this old man wants to tell him about long snapping.

And he said, I don't get it. You're so good at it. You're the guy's friend. Go over there next time you're not gonna want to hear what this old man wants to tell him about long snapping and he said I don't get it You're so good at it. You're the guy's friend go over there next time you're playing watching football Just give him a few pointers and I went like I had that moment I like yeah, why not be a human being for a change? Yeah, and I Saw Kevin the next weekend at the at the house. I said doing a long snap and he said yeah, I said Why don't you? Should go get a ball and we give you a few pointers. He he said, yeah. I said, uh, why don't you, uh, should we go get a ball? Let me give you a few pointers. He said, I got it. I said, yeah,

but I bet I could, if you got the ball, I'd give you a few pointers. He said, I'm cool. I said, uh, I know you got a ball around here, so go get the ball. And let me just show you a little technique. He said, I don't think I have a football. I said, you got five everything around this house. Now go find a football and come back and I'll show you how to snap it he said yeah I'll see if I can find it didn't do it I never saw him again went head up here and then I thought well that's how I knew that

was gonna go down not nothing not because anything wrong with him I just knew how that exchange was going to go. He didn't want the old guy telling him about something that he wasn't really that interested in. And he wanted to play some video games with his friends. So I was like, alright. But that's how I knew it was going to go. But still, every once in a while, I go, you know, why not be a human being? So I called. I called Mom. And I said, I'd like to invite John to the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix.

I will be participating on Saturday and you know I'll get you the laminates and the tickets and whatever you need and I invited my brother-in-law and the boys you know and maybe you guys can all travel out there together and I'm racing in the pro categories. You don't don't expect too much, but it's a great event. It's a lot of fun and could be a good time. And OK. And then about four days later, I heard that not a reason why just can't can't do it. Can't make it out. Sorry. Thanks.

And then then I won. And then they weren't there. So I Sorry. Thanks. And then I won. And then they weren't there. Do they know? Or do you know if they know? My, yes, they know. Because my mom called me the next day to talk about something else, but didn't inquire how did it go.

And I said I won. She said, that's good. But now it's in Long Beach so it's 35 minutes away on a on a Saturday morning he's not he doesn't have a huge social calendar right John yeah and he got a week's notice she asked you to go out with him right didn't she asked she asked that I invite him to something and do something right with him so this to me I thought well I could invite him to come by the shop and look at some of the cars and I'm sure that make him feel good and

you get a kick out of it and so on and so forth. But this is something that seems like it'd be really exciting. Like you know I talked to a lot of other participants, the parents are flying out from New York, flying out from Seattle, people flying out with t-shirts made, the kids car number on it, and stuff like that. This is local and pretty cool. Now, don't know what was going on Saturday? Could have been emergency surgery, but that was not included in the email. It was just can't make it. Sorry, but thanks. And I don't know. I'll tell you what. Do let's give a little love to one of our sponsors. I would like your take on what that means. After after

that. So so Adam, what do you do if you need to buy stamps on a Sunday? Yo, what I do? What do you do? I have a refrigerator box and I've scotch guarded it. So it's not bad. Okay. It's all weather box. And I'll just go put it in front of the Hollywood Post office it opens about 8 a.m. On Monday on Monday Yeah, yeah, but I'll get there. You know 3 a.m. I'll park it there and I'll just open a can of Sterno make some beans You know just cook it out. Hopefully it's not too cold night. Just some wait for them to open it. Yeah Well, you could go to stamps.com Yeah. Yeah. What else, what else you gonna do? Well, you could go to stamps.com, buy and print official U.S. postage from your computer and printer. So take the box over

to stamps.com? Go to your computer. Oh, computer. Log on to stamps.com and they will even send you a digital scale, which I know you have, so you can automatically calculate the exact postage on any letter, package, or class of mail. No risk offer, $110 bonus, including a digital scale, and $55 free postage if you enter the code ADDS, stamps.com, I've been using this thing for years, my wife found it, I thought it was some sort of weird wizardry.

Alchemy. Yeah, weird alchemy, some weird wizard had given us stamps with my daughter's picture on it. I was like, really? I'm like, she's on stamps now? Yeah, weird alchemy, some weird wizard had given us stamps with my daughter's picture on it. I was like, really? I'm like, she's on stamps now? I was like, very weird. You can print it up on a printer in your own room, in your own office, wherever the hell

your computer is, go to stamps.com. Now click the microphone at the top of the homepage, type in ads, ADS to get that $110 bonus and $55 in free postage. Go to stamps.com, stamps.com, promo code ads. All right. So quickly before we head to the phones. So what is that? I think John would like to be included.

I think at least going to my mom, it'd be nice for him to go out, see the shop, get a phone call, that kind of stuff. This he would do, I bet. This, the shop. Come here to the shop. Because it's closer. It's this he would do, I bet. This, the shop. Come here to the shop. Because it's closer. Doesn't involve people. Right, it doesn't involve doing anything,

it doesn't involve people. And so literally, they would see you offering them to do something intense and sort of arousing as not just threatening, but maybe even unthoughtful, I suspect, because it's you, like, John, let's go do this, man. And a normal person, even one with a certain amount of inertia, would kind of get it and would enjoy it.

And you know that. But I think you've got other level stuff going on here where it's not quite something likely to happen. You know what I'm saying? Well, I've done it. It's like going to a nursing home and saying, Grandpa, let's go. And he's like, no, dude, I can't walk. Right. Except for this guy who really likes cars. No, I know it's reasonable to think he would love it. It has been to an event or two that I've done. And he might

love it. He might. Yeah. But I think that inertia and that agoraphobia and all that stuff right really getting in the way So bring him here Bring him to the garage when no one's around right and let him look at cars. Perfect. All right, even me You don't have to be here. That's All right, but here's the question to that Do I have to ask for something else? I meaning Did you do your duty? I said on a Monday Hey this Saturday retired guy who has nothing on his calendar. I'm gonna be driving in the pro Division of the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix. It is a huge event

Yeah, there will be a blimp flying overhead would you like to come out here with the nephews and Cheer me on to victory and I got an answer four days later which was a thanks but no thanks thing. Like I'm saying you gotta see it from their perspective. You gotta do it. Should I do that with terrorists as well? Well you can choose not to.

You could say I've done my duty and that's all I got in me. I would argue that was my only friend. Yeah, yeah. No, you can do that. OK. Pluto TV is the place for movie fans like me. And TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone,

and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier. And re-watch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker. Or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run, Forrest! Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free.

Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. You got a call you like up there? Oh, we're no break? We're rolling, baby. Let's do it. Vivian, what's up? Vivian? Yeah. All right. Vivian Vivian? What's going on? I have

a question about how I heard on one of the other podcasts that Dr. Drew suggested for the guy to see a female. I just wanted to know, like, how do you determine that? Sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes it's just an intuitive sense I have. And sometimes it's because of issues with women that I'm hearing about from somebody. And sometimes when it's that attachment issues are a predominant phenomena. I think women just naturally do women therapists naturally do a better job with that Let me chime in two things. I Think that anytime a woman sees a man

There is the potential the treatment and treatment me. Yeah in treatment. Yes No, I don't mean in In treatment you mean? Yeah, in treatment, yes. No, I don't mean in a mall. Right. Yeah. There is the potential for shenanigans. Wait, hold on a second. A woman, patients, he's a man therapist. Yes. There's a potential. In other words... It's not as few and far between as it should be. There's such a thing as people falling in love with 30 year olds named Vivian from Florida are probably attractive, number one. So I like the notion of just removing that from the table. I mean, there's such a thing as a lesbian relationship, but you know, removing these sexual part of it. Plus the part where you might have to get into some intimate details about,

I cannot perform oral sex on my husband. That you might hold back. That you might hold back. But I would then also say this, for a man or a woman, if you have intimacy issues, this is one of the times my father stepped up to the plate. By the way, he sent you to therapy when you were like 15, right? No, I wasn't 15. Everybody on all these stories, here's the thing for me, I don't add or subtract. I just tell it what it is. I know, but when people tell stories they have to...

So what was it? I have 19 or something like that guys will say 15 you know they'll meaning the six mile hike will turn into a 10 mile I don't I'm not I don't want to turn to a four mile hike but I don't want to make it 10 I'll just make it what it was okay he said I know your mom you're gonna have trouble with women so thanks for marrying her champ And you thus should speak to a therapist and that therapist should be a woman. Yeah. And so that factors in. So if there's some issues with the opposite sex, but you might want to bond. I'm not sure it applies quite as clearly with a woman

who has daddy issues. Agreed, you could end up falling in love or worse with that person. So Vivian, there's no right answer here. If you're just going to ask me what would I like my daughter, what therapist would I like Natalia to see? Female. Well, she's going to see a team. Yeah, yeah,'re all women. I want that van to be filled with women The mobile dog grooming slash therapy van. All right, so we just say a woman and

But let's not forget this the best That you can afford and that's yeah in your area is is not gonna never gonna hurt either. Right? All right. Let's go down talk to John online to John 25, Arizona Hey guys, thanks for taking my call Two years ago on the last day of college Last night I had a fling with this girl that I had taken a bunch of classes with gone on a few trips with and I with this girl that I had taken a bunch of classes with, gone on a few trips with. And I was with my actually now fiance at the time. And the fling ended up where we gave it two weeks afterwards.

We talked throughout those two weeks. And I gave the girl that I had the fling with an ultimatum of I will leave this girl who is now my fiance to be with you. And the whole time your fiance, the fiance had no knowledge that this was all going on. No knowledge. No knowledge. Jesus. Now, two years later, I haven't seen the girl that I had the fling with. She said,

I'm not ready for it i can't do it and spell it's fine took a couple days to get over it but it was whatever it's fine all all of the fling girl said not not into the relationship right rest i'm not ready for more that okay i were we're going separate direction you know that it is not that in the or Or intimacy disorder. Alright, but either way. Moving on, now two years later. Moving on, two years later, two weekends ago, she and I crossed paths. Hold on, hold on. Crossed paths. I want to examine that. There's bumping into her on a sidewalk and then there's

you getting a hold of her. You know via sending her a text message or Facebook or something or her reaching out to you. I want to know who reached out to whom. No it wasn't that at all. It was one of my buddies was coming down to meet up with me and we were going to go out and have a good time. This said friend is friends with her as well. She didn't have anything going on, so they showed up in town. When he called me to come hang out, it was like, oh, we're all here.

She reached out. She was a part of that group. That's her telling you. That's her reaching out. That's her reaching out. Okay. Okay. So she reached out to you. Yeah, essentially. Yep. Yeah, so we're hanging out

Throughout the night and she more or less says I fucked up I Want this? Where's her life right now? Where's your life right now? How are you doing? I'm doing fine Actually, my fiance is just Taking a job moving, unfortunately, to the same city. She works for a Fortune 500 company getting relocated and we're all going to be in the same city. I'm right now looking for a job.

Right now I'm an analyst with another Fortune 500 company. Okay. And so you're moving up there. Your life has taken a nice turn since college. Yep, and her life has gone what direction? Up as well. So she's doing well herself. Yep. What is her relationship history? She right now all right now. What is her relationship history? How much does he know? How much do you know? She has a boyfriend has she been able to have long term relationships Is she is she okay with relationships have they been chaotic have they've been?

Abusive problematic you don't know anything, huh? Well, I do know that when she was younger there was I mean Something that she had confided in the allegations of maybe some physical abuse in her past. Okay, so Now she has a boyfriend. Yep. And she's basically putting this offer out to you. Pretty much. Which means, you know, whether it's a relationship or used car lot, you know, when a guy says, uh, listen, that guy put a down payment down on this car, but I think I can

work around that. I'll get you the car. Well, when you go back to that guy and you got a car to sell, believe me, he doesn't turn into a different dude with you. No, same person. It's the same person. So the same person that can go out with you, tilt a few and talk about having a relationship with you while her boyfriend's at home is the same person that can do the same thing to you. They might. But this is the guy that's we're talking to the guy that's doing it to his girlfriend, his fiance mind you.

He so far is just listening. Well he had. I haven't acted on anything. Well yeah. All right. Those few years ago. Now obviously you're physically attracted to this person yes yep and obviously it's a strong attraction because she's good-looking and a little bit crazy yes yep and your fiance is

you've been with her for a while and she's not as exciting as this person is very stable very stable wife and right it's going to be a good life right so you can have a chaotic dysfunctionalal, exciting life or a healthy, stable life. That's the choice you're making here. Right. And we know how the chaotic one ends. Well, no, it could end in lots of therapy and learn up okay and might be something he needs to sustain.

This is where the really challenging part of this. This guy may need that kind of excitement to sustain his commitment to a relationship. Yeah, I know. Because he's already strained from this other one. I don't, I mean, I feel like John, he's an analyst and he's analyzing himself here. And he's kind of at the crossroads. The problem is, if you were 22, I'd say, oh, please don't get married, get the crossroads. The problem is if you were 22 I'd say oh please don't get married get the fuck on you got so much to do nail some strangers and then

get married when you're 30 and if you were 30 I'd say hey knock it off you're not a kid anymore move on the promise is you're 25 you're kind of at this crossroads. I will ask Drew should if we say to him, look this girl's chaotic, get her out of here, you're going to cause yourself more harm than good, should he then just go ahead and get married at 25? Well that's right. Maybe this whole thing is about you're not ready to get married. That's a possibility.

Do you have a date? Yeah, next year. I got a year Here's the I Like he's talking about it like it's oral surgery, right? Toot shouldn't start pinching on the nerve for another eight months or so. Yeah Pass me the fro. Yeah on the other hand. It probably is a healthier so to speak choice for him. Yes All right

Here's what I would do. I would not get re-involved with the chaotic girl continue with the career and Really and really think about this marriage thing at 25 because by today's oops Sorry by today's standards that is young that is young so no to the fling but also not necessarily yes to the marriage all right let's take one more you want to do this one here nat nat nope nat let me tell you about go to meeting baby hold on a second that whole time i was driving car, I was also looking at my office computer. I'm doing a GoToMeeting.

Were you rear? No, no. I'm doing a GoToMeeting in a couple hours. I, like I said, I don't know what else you can say about GoToMeeting, which is, other than we use this when we meet other potential sponsors. Ironically, you go to meetin did one yesterday. Ironically. Yeah. Yeah, you go, I did go to meeting yesterday talking to a sponsor and it's just

effective. The part that's effective, you go, well what do you need to, what do you need to look at the person, what do you need to look at the person in the eye for? Go to meeting yesterday. Who'd you go with? Lumosity, that's right. I don't need to look everyone in the eyes over there, but when they put the chart up... Oh, Lumosity, you had to see their stuff. Right, right, right. That's the part that's cool and they start scrolling through. And you go, hey, go back to this and show me that and they can show it to you on the screen.

Right. That's where the go-to meeting with HGFaces. And by the way, when you're asking for, you're communicating actively like that about a document, having the guys face up there and sound is very helpful. It really is. But like I said, seeing all the graphics and all everything is absolutely amazing. Brought to you by Citrix. You can launch and join meetings from any computer smartphone tablet even

your iPad start hosting face-to-face online meetings today with go to meeting dot com and up and again it's like you know we don't have to all get on an airplane and guys got to get a dry race board and PowerPoint presentation and you can do it 30 days 30 days free visit go to meeting.com click on the tried free button and use the promo code Adam all right so where were we Nat Nat are you there yeah it's Matt is Matthew not your part so go ahead all right so I met this girl on one of those like hot or not apps on your phone called Tinder. So basically if you both say you're hot you get matched up and you can talk in a chat room. Usually the chats don't amount to

anything. So my grandparents were like, is that right? Just Helen and Rosalind. So I started talking to one of my matches and so she wanted my phone number. We started talking. And we have a date set for this Friday. And I just wanted to know if you have any tips as far. She passed all your tests at them as far as like, I mentioned restaurants in Philadelphia. And she said she really would like to go to them. And then I mentioned a Ryan Gosling movie that's out right now. And she really wants to see that.

And you've seen a picture of her? Go Vin Diesel next time. That's the test. Everyone wants to fuck Ryan Gosling test everyone is to fuck Ryan Gosling Okay, and all right good Don't be anxious well your time joy, you know, we talked about we just talked about go to meeting Why not let technology improve the marketplace? Yeah, that's it. And by the way, it sounds great They both like each

other. They both attract to each other. They've seen each other's Facebooks. So if you don't like when you have a date, enjoy the date. That's all. All right. You can click through the Amazon link at www dot Adam and Dr. Drew

show.com doesn't cost you thing helps us keep the pirate ship afloat. And also if you want to subscribe via PayPal, you just hit the PayPal button and wait for five bucks a month. Again, we're just talking about therapists. Ain't cheap. More than five bucks a month.

You got about, I don't know, 50 years experience in this room. Come on, it's worth five bucks a month. All right, thank you so much. And again, the Adam and Drew reunion tour, Napa, Uptown Theatre, May 18th. I'll be racing my car, Drew's gonna be racing his mouth up on stage. Hopefully. And until next time, this is Adam Perot for Dr. Drew, Chris Maxapatta, huh? Chris Maxapatta and Gary Haftar saying, Mah me. They've got something for everyone, and it's totally free. You can binge laugh-out-loud sitcoms like Frasier.

And re-watch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker. Or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run, Forrest! Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows, all for free. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.