The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - I'll Gladly Pay You Never for a Loan Today (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: April 15, 2023

Adam and Drew open the show talking about doing the right thing and how a large portion of people seem to be able to justify things like stealing if they can convince themselves that the victim can afford it. They also discuss the idea of character and how instilling it in children is an important job that in Adam's household is the purview of one parent more than the other. The guys turn to the phones and speak with a caller renting from their in laws and wondering what their obligations might be when one was kicked out and another caller looking for advice on dealing with respiratory illness in her son. Sticking with phones they later speak with a caller from the UK who is concerned about the direction of society.

Welcome back to the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics. First up for today, episode 1054, released April 16th, 2019, titled Adam Carolla, Executive Insultant. Adam and Dr. Drew open things up talking about character, using the example of borrowing money and attempting not to pay it back. I'm thinking about what we talked about yesterday. That character thing kind of stayed with me a bit. I feel like we could fill a month with that. But first, I want to go back to what you were saying about lending money to people

and then them paying it back to you based on whether their assessment is you need it. How does that work? Well, here's what low-character people do. I found the number one answer for low-character people. I thought I paid you back that. You know, they do that. I thought.

It's like you couldn't possibly think you paid me back. Right. You would have to get out your checkbook and figure out the number and why would you mail and why would you say it hadn't happened if it had i don't know is there ever an instance where you owed someone thousands of dollars i'm pretty sure i paid you here's the move i always like when people go uh i thought i paid you back and then you go no you never paid me back they go all right let me get my check you're like, that's how fast you can turn? Because if I think I paid you back, it's going to take a while.

Right. Because I mean it. Right. We're going to have to go, you're going to have to show me a check and a number and a blah, blah, blah. I kind of want to dig a little deeper into this. Yes. So would they go into this transaction thinking to themselves, he should be giving me this money. He should have given me a gift like this a long time ago.

Is that in their head? Again, you talk about how they convince themselves of things. Is this how they're going into the transaction, do you think? Like, oh, this fat cat, he should have gifted me this a long time. He's been my buddy since high school. He's my brother. He shouldn't be asking for this back. They go into it with a kind of, I'm going to borrow this thing, but it's like a neighbor saying, can I borrow your cordless drill?

And yes. And then if you said, when are you going to return it? And the answer would be, well, never, unless they bug me. Right. If they don't bug me about it, I just got a cordless drill. Would they say – do you think – again, we totally agree that cognitive dissonance is sort of under this, which is convincing themselves of things. Would you agree – would they think to themselves, you're of low character because you didn't

just give me this money? Well, yes. Well, no. They don't think that way, but they do have to paint you in such a way where they can justify doing whatever it is they're doing. So do you think – what I'm trying to reason through here and trying to understand why we have so much goddamn low character out there these days, do you think that some people literally define it differently in order to maintain their position? Define? Character?

I don't think they think of the word character ever. And sadly, I don't think it comes up. I don't think they really know what that is. Well, if they did, they'd think of it differently in order to protect their own position probably. There's also – yes. in order to protect their own position, probably. There's also, yes, there's also way too much governmental sort of enforcement of everything. And the answer is sort of like, look, if he wants the money back, have the cops come over to my house. If I'm not getting served, you know, if Geragos isn't serving me papers, then, you know what I mean?

Like there's way too much litigation and way too many enforcement and way too much, whatever that people don't realize that, Hey, no, you just have to do the right thing because not, there may not be consequences. You may not get sued.

You may not be served. You may not be anything. Yeah. And just, but you just do it just to do it. Like my, my dog, uh,

Phil took a dump on, uh, somebody's lawn two nights ago, and I was taking Phil for a walk. And I was talking to you. And I was talking to you on the phone, and I left my house, and I went down one street, and he took a dump on the lawn,

and I ended up kind of circling the neighborhood, and I walked back on the horse trail sort of backside, and I found myself in my house, and I was like, oh, I didn't pick up the dump. Like my plan was, it was at night. was my plan was I'm just gonna circle back you know when I'm on my way back I'll pick up the dump yeah and then I found myself standing in my living room at like 8 30 at night going uh yeah you didn't do it I'll take a dump down the street and you know no one saw me or anything no one knows did you get it it's out it's true on. Did you get it? Drew, you guys understand what I have to

deal with all the time here? I'm trying to set the table and paint a picture. Did you get it? Yeah, I'll jump right to the end of the story so we can just nullify everything. Yes, I picked it up. Anyway, we'll go to phone calls. Drew, you don't have to ask. I'm doing the story,

which is going to... You can ignore me. It's fine. Okay, I ignore you. I was in my living room, and it was cold, and it was dark, and I thought nobody... Did you get it? Did you get it? Don't do that, Drew. It's the worst. I thought, who's going to know? And then I thought, I'm going to know.

And then I thought, I'll go get it in the morning. Like, it's a big corner house, and the lawn's kind of way out toward the street. It's not like someone's playing Ultimate Frisbee there or whatever cats in there yeah nice house and i was like i'll just get it in the morning and i thought what if the gardener shows up he's like mowing the lawn or what if the guy comes out and he sees it or whatever and i just went let's go i literally got in my car got a flashlight and just went back and picked it up. And by the way, that is not a waste of my time.

No. Let's see if we agree on the reason why. That's the key. Why? That's the key. Because I am now that person. You are, but there's even a more important thing, I would argue. Well, there's two things.

Yeah. One is it's not a waste of my time. A couple of things. I look, if you're a thief, you don't have to wear a mask or break into banks. You can be a thief and just borrow money from me and never pay it back. You've now you have you have essentially made your peace with being a thief. You've essentially made your peace with being a low-character person, and you should never go there. That is a big – that's like taking a big swig of whiskey at 8 in the morning.

Like, go find a mirror and see what's looking back at you. We now have a problem. So, A, I never – I want to get to that point where I've made my peace with like sort of myself and low-character stuff. B is it's never going to happen again. I will – I don't want to do this again. So I'm going to train myself to not do this. I'm going to train myself. This is the key thing.

I don't want to have to get back in my car at night and go drive somewhere with a flashlight in my mouth and pick up crap. Okay, but that's your own sort of – that's your efficiency with doing this thing of being good character, right? Yeah. Do you have to say something? No, I was going to tell Gary to clear the screen if he could. Here's something you and I talked about maybe a year or two ago, and it's how Aristotle says you establish character. He said one word establishes character. It's how you build character.

Habit. Habit, yes. And I would argue that you and I have – I've not always been as good at this as I am now. I really make a habit of doing right. I make it an absolute habit and it becomes easier and easier and easier and more automatic with time. Yes, and the other thing I try to

subscribe to is if you thought it, you must do it. You sat here and you thought it. Now you're going to essentially defy yourself. You knew.

You didn't forget about it. You thought about it. You got home. You're emptying your pockets. You pulled out one of Phil's poop bags out of your sweatpants, and you're like, oh, yeah. Now I thought about it. I get what you're saying.

And there's a biology to that. And that biology is you can do two things with that thought. Push it away and defend it or pay attention to it. Those are different mechanisms and we try to pay attention. I can't push it away because I thought of it and the rules are once you thought of it, you got to do it. People have no trouble pushing it, thinking about it. The fat cats in the house, the gardener will deal with it. Don't worry.

They immediately gone. That's the normal thing. Yeah, I agree. These days. Oh, no, I agree. As opposed to focusing on it and go, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go way out on a limb.

Uh-oh. I got a thought. Well, I might bring this around to my usual theme, but... Wheels? Cars? Ooh. I am excited about the Porsche, but character. Yeah.

I think it's taught by dads. I don't see my wife focusing or... She's not drilling down on character at all. I am character. I'm much less of everything else and more character. If there's a keeper of the character torch at the Corolla's house, that's the ace man. The psychologists argue that the dad is sort of representative of society. And so social norms and those sorts of imperative theoretically may come in through dad well

let's think about it yeah because not the mom can't it's just they traditionally come in through dad but because yeah well so i have a lot of so the mom does a lot of nice and telling everyone they're great and hugs and feel goods and, you know, and, you know, and a lot of kind of, you deserve to be on that team,

you know? So what the dad, you know, when the, when the boy doesn't make the team, the dad says, you got to train harder. The mom says,

you deserve to be on that team. I'm still, I'm proud of you anyway. Right. Yep. Look, let's, I'm not,

it's not a pejorative one way or the other although both important yeah come on character's a little more important but anyway well these days because we don't have any there's a lot of hugging and a lot of you deserve to be on the team and the wives will be a little more like i bet the coach doesn't like you and the son the dad will be like you got to get up earlier and do more push-ups. Now, it created a balance. That's what you're looking for. You want the mom, the kid's upset, mom hugs them, says we're going to bake you your favorite brownies.

Then the dad says, all right, now let's go outside and practice those free flows. Whatever it is. Now you remove that side. Remove the dad's voice. Growing, ever-growing numbers of families, remove the voice of the dad. Or what we've done. Or have mom try to do both, which is impossible.

Right. Now, in the African-American community, a lot of dads are physically not there. In the more affluent white communities, the dads are there. They're fucking pussy whipped. And they're just sitting in the fucking corner eating granola out of a pottery jar. And they're fucking whipped too. So either way, the kid's not getting what the kid needs. And then since they both kind of – the dad sort of equals society, but they're not hearing that voice now all we got is let's

blame the coach it's not your fault uh i bet that i bet they have it in for you whatever it is boys deserve an award okay so now what's that kid going to do the next time he becomes an adult and the dog craps on the lawn of life or the money is found in the wallet or whatever it is they're going to see it from the perspective of the coach the money is found in the wallet or whatever it is. They're going to see it from the perspective of the coach. Had it out for you. Let me give you a hug and let me bake you your favorite whatever. They're certainly not going to see it through the eyes of the dad, which is that's not your money.

I don't care if you're broke. I don't care if you're late on a car payment. I don't care if your car is being repossessed, your phone's being shut off. That's not your money. And up next, we have episode 495, released January 16th, 2017, titled, Just Stand There and Suck It Up. The guys go to the phones and speak first with a caller, wondering what their obligations are to an alcoholic father-in-law who was kicked out by his wife. And then one looking for advice dealing with their child's chronic respiratory illness.

Do you have a call you like up there? It's going to be pretty fun. Shower's at the other shop. Let's talk to Esme. Get it on, guys. Get it on, man. Wisconsin, 29. You live. But Esme, I think I asked you this when you very first called.

Were you in any way named after a J.D. Salinger short story? You live. But Esme, I think I asked you this when you very first called. Were you in any way named after a J.D. Salinger short story? No, it's short for Esmeralda, but I totally read that after you told me about it, and I hated it. It was terrible. So for Esme with love and squalor. Catch Ace in the Pools, another one of his great tomes. Oh, nice. Go ahead.

Now I've got to read that. All right. So, yeah, I just don't know exactly where to go with this whole situation. Mother-in-law, they both live about two hours away, but we rent their first home. Yeah. So she kicked him out a couple days ago, I guess. We have not heard if he's in this town or if he's in a hotel somewhere. And I had told her before, she'd kind of been talking about, you know, setting limits and telling him enough is enough. And I had told her that I didn't want him

here if he was going to drink, which is obviously what he's going to do and um now i'm feeling like kind of a jerk and i don't know if it's really appropriate for me to call him and tell him hey you know we're willing to help you and support your recovery how's your husband doing with this um he's pretty apathetic about it uh he's had a lifetime of this? Kind of. He started really, really drinking heavily after he left for, you know, to move to California and get out of Wisconsin. So, like, the worst

of it has been the past couple years that he's had to deal with it. So, just to get this clear, wife has kicked the alcoholic husband out. The husband owns the house you're living in? Yes, they rent from them. You rent from them.

Okay, so that's what I was going to ask. Because if you rent from them, you're a tenant. You have no obligation. If Adam rents his house, one of his houses, he can't then go, oh, by the way, for the night I need a room. I'm coming in. You have no obligation whatsoever. You made that clear to him. However, you made that clear to him. I don't feel like a room. I'm coming in. You have no obligation whatsoever. He made that clear to him. However, he made that clear to him, so I don't feel like a jerk.

It's all family stuff. Well, I was going to say, okay, so it's not like he can force his way in, number one. No, and he hasn't tried. All right, because if you were not in Rana, he could just show up and force the way. He's fine. But number two, your sort of instinct on supporting the recovery and rejecting the disease is actually very solid. And I think it is reasonable, should he approach you, to give those parameters. Go, yeah, we would be willing to help you, provide you go into meetings every day,

blah, blah, blah, blah, and things over. Otherwise, we would have to kick you out too. Very simple. Keep it simple. Okay? So is it not a good idea to seek him out and say, hey, we're here to meet up? That you're going to have, I actually can't give you a specific guideline on that because the stakes may be higher than I know. I mean, this guy's life may be on the line here. I don't know.

I don't know how bad he is. And if you feel- I feel like it is. Like he looks really sick a couple times. He's like- You don't want to let that happen. You want to save his life if you can, right? Right. Thanks, Esme. I know it's tough. Thank you. Love you guys. Love how it goes. Thanks.

Bye. You know, ever since we had our Dr. Kate in last week. Yeah, it was weird. People loved and hated her. It was so weird. The Twitter response was crazy. But she started explaining that the canola oil and the palm oil and everything is everything. And I started looking, and it's like it's everything.

It's in everything, yeah. It's in everything. I know. It's weird. And I'll tell you the weird part. As I was looking at all my kids' salad dressing and all this stuff, they have, number one, first ingredients is palm oil. You know, canola oil. Canola oil, the palm oil.

What's the bad one? Well, canola is probably the least bad of the group. And her biggest concern was when they heated up. They're really bad. So it's not as bad in the salad dressing, but still something to be avoided. But the – As opposed to like an olive oil or a tasting oil, like a – what did she say? A seed oil.

Anything. A walnut oil. Anything that tastes like something. Yeah. Those are actually good for you. So go ahead. So then it was funny because I went out and I thought, oh, let's see. And I'm trying to think of – so, Gary, you can look this one up.

Drew, you'll probably know this one. But like soybean oil. And I realized that – because I'm trying like soybean oil. And I realized that, because I'm trying, soybean oil. So I went to Sprouts. I went to the expensive whole food type market in my neighborhood, right?

Soybean oil was not good, right? I don't think, yeah. I think she said basically anything was bad except for the olive and the stuff you could taste, whatever. Yeah, olive and seeds. Stop with anything with the vegetable or the olive and the stuff you could taste or whatever. Yeah, olive and seeds. Stop with anything with a vegetable or – yeah, the seeds.

So I went and I was walking around and I did – ooh, one of my favorites, the deli section at the super high-end expensive market, health food market, was the pre- prefab egg salad. And I said, oh, this is good. And by the way, it falls under the Vinnie Tortorich, you know, high fat, high protein, whatever. Picked it up and I said, I would never read this before because I would assume it's whole foods or it's sprouts. It's going to be eggs and mayonnaise and salt, pepper. That'll be about it. Turn the thing over and it was like eggs, soybean oil.

This is at the health food place. By the way, their business is strictly commercial. It's a commercial enterprise, not a health delivery system. I understand that, but I just thought it was so weird. When you make it at home, you can just make it with mayonnaise. This had mayonnaise, but it all said the soybean oil. I was like, wow, this really is unavoidable. And then I picked up the tuna salad and I flipped it over and I was like, oh, soybean

oil in this too. And let me be clear again about Kate. She is a scientist, a real deal scientist. And when I talked to her about some of the garbage that's out there, she goes, I can't comment about that. It's too complicated. It's impossible. I was in a laboratory where they were trying to sort out one tiny little question in the gigantic spectrum of what that whole story is about.

And they can't even come up with that. So don't even comment about it. So anyway, now I have this horrible battle to fight at home once again because that stuff is in everything that my kids eat all day. And I don't know what to do about it. Oh, well, actually, kill myself. But then secondly know what to do about it. Oh, well, actually, kill myself. But then secondly, what to do. I think I would make sure they're not frying foods in it. Make sure you have olive oil.

Make sure. No frying going on. Bring the butter back big time. No, no, but listen. When they eat the eggs and stuff. Yeah, absolutely. Big time. When they eat the eggs and things, bring the butter back.

And then I would not, I'm not sure I'd fight the salad dressing thing yet. Not yet. Not yet. Yeah. No. Another life. Nicole, 48, San Diego. Yep, that's me.

Hi, guys. What's going on, man? I know. All right. So here's the deal. And Drew, we spoke before. I teach yoga in prison. Yes.

And so here is- That sounds like a Jewish curse. You should teach yoga in prison. Your teeth should fall out, hair should remove. Yeah. And I am Jewish. I took a yoga class last night. And?

I got to be honest. I got to be honest. The yoga class, the first few were like everyone it's the hot yoga everybody's just showing up in like their swim trunks and stuff

and it's a lot of dudes who you know you wouldn't like to see they're not making a fireman's calendar I'll put it I'll put it to you that way right

so it's been a little bit of a well it's quite a when they turn upside down it's a super good shot yeah so there's been a little bit of a... When they turn upside down, it's a super good shot. Yeah, so there's been a lot of that. Last night, nothing to do with me.

I got my mat out. I put my towel down or whatever, and a woman who looked fantastic in sports bra and sort of mini cycling shorts. The yogas are the minimal. They wear, you'd be arrested if you walked down the street and that stuff. And she pulled up six feet in front of me and set up her thing. And it's a little difficult not, you know, hey, I'm only as God created me. You're trying to divert your gaze.

Look ahead, look into the mirror. But it's a little hard not to pull it over to the left every once in a while. I don't know that that's wrong. I don't even want to apologize for it. It's hard. It's a little bit of a distraction. You know, it's okay. If it keeps you coming back to the mat, then that's all that matters.

I'm coming back. Yeah, so, I mean, that's good stuff. And actually, Drew, I don't know if you heard, but the founder of the company I work for passed away from, unfortunately, his battle to addiction. But that was recently. Yeah, last month, but I won't say names. So this is something that I already know. Now, you're teaching yoga in prison.

Yes, but I also teach somewhere, but I'm sure I won't say the name. But I teach volunteer in prison. I taught today in jail today, and then I also have an outside job. This will be when Nicole passes. It'll be some clearing up. Nicole passed? What happened? She was killed with a serving tray.

Killed with a serving tray? Oh, oh, oh. She taught yoga in prison. Oh, I'm sorry. You did not know that? Okay, because out of context, that's a weird. Killed with a serving tray. Yeah, I understood where there'd be some confusion.

It's a 51-year-old woman killed with a serving tray. Oh, sorry. She taught yoga in prison. Oh, okay. All right, now I got you. Go ahead, Nicole. Sorry. Okay, so anyway, my son is at State Cups this weekend.

He's a soccer player. He has the respiratory stuff that's going on. I don't know if I can do it, but he was a preemie, and every time he gets sick, it turns usually into pneumonia. So he's on day two. I'm wondering, is there anything I can do? Because I'm anticipating my husband and my son saying he's going to want to play. Is there medication for kids that usually end up with pneumonia after this, like respiratory stuff?

No. He should have a pulmonologist, right? He was barely. I mean, he had a pneumothorax and recovered and was healthy and not that even not that big of a deal but he does tend to get Hang on, so he does not have a pediatric pulmonologist

accurate? No. Okay, well that should happen he should have that if indeed he gets bronchial inflammation every time he gets an upper respiratory infection older people that's kind of common for a kid that's not so common and you have to gets bronchial inflammation every time he gets an upper respiratory infection. Older people, that's kind of common. For a kid, that's not so common.

And you have to wonder if there's any component of asthma in here or if there's immunological dysfunction of some type. Sometimes they will go ahead and put these kids on antibiotics quickly, but I can't recommend that off the top. That's just something that occasionally in carefully managed hands, for sure, protecting the airway with inhalers and things like that becomes an important thing. But when the kid's really exerting themselves, particularly if it's hot out, well, that's kind of dangerous. So you really need an expert. I took that hot yoga. Yeah.

What's that? What just happened? What's that? I told you that wasn't normal. My husband's standing here because the soccer team will come run Cowles Mountain up here, freaking 90-degree heat, and he will be struggling, and nobody takes it seriously. Well, what I'm saying is if you give him an inhaler and it's hot and he's dehydrated and he's under the influence of all these what are called beta agonists,

there are some cardiac effects of that that need to be thought about. That's all. He just needs good, careful management. We'll be right back with more of the Adam thought about. That's all. He just needs good, careful management. We'll be right back with more of the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics. Last up for today, we have episode 281 released October 15th

2015, titled Pussies. The guys stick with the phones as they speak to a fan from across the pond who launches a conversation around the pussification of both our societies. Kevin's got a comment, question. Hey, Kevin. Hi, Adam.

Hey, you're 40. You're calling from Oxford, England. Yeah. Thank you very much. Thanks for coming over to England. We really enjoyed your show. It was great to see you. How did you find this pod and this whole thing?

I got into it about six, seven years ago, and I've been going back through the Loveline calls. Love listening to you guys. Hold on. Thank you. Hold on. True. It's called the World Wide Web, not the Pasadena Glendale Web.

How did you find Loveline? I mean, that's equally as confusing to me. Well, did you find this first or did you find Loveline first? I found your show first. All right. So how did you find my show? For your enemy, Kevin Smith, ironically. Oh, okay.

Got it. And I fell into it and been listening every day for the last six years. Love you guys. Thanks. I picked so many tips up and got a job. Thanks. Listen to all your advice. Thanks.

We're coming back to Europe next summer. I really want to go. I really, really, really, really want to go. Buy a plane ticket. I can't stop you. You know, I've been to Oxford. You ever been to Oxford? No.

I was schooled there in the art of mastering the cello for many years. It is so beautiful. That's when I was away from my father. It's really beautiful. I mean, really beautiful. God, I imagine. Anyway, Kevin, go ahead. Sorry.

Right. So I've got the question. I listen to you guys all the time. Kevin, go ahead, sorry. Right, so I've got the question. I listen to you guys all the time. And all the time, I understand you liberated us from the Nazis, thank you, obviously. But now we need to liberate you from the puttification of England.

Oh, that'd be nice. You're throwing it our way. We used to be a strong country, and now all I can see now is... I bumped into a bloke the other day. What's up? What the fuck, dude? Bumped into him. Pushed over. Everyone's getting a little bit too... Well, all the... Wait, wait, wait. Are we getting pussified, or are you guys

getting pussified, or are we all getting pussified? No, you're throwing it over our way. You liberated us from the Nazis. No, you're throwing the pussification our way. We thought you were the tough guy. Let me... You know what you guys need? Gun way. We thought you were the tough guy. Let me tell you. You know what you guys need? Guns. That'll straighten it all out.

Because then this is one of the reasons we're pussified. Guns and absent dads. That'll straighten you out. We've got some absent dads. Okay, good. One of the pussified things here is that we don't settle things with our fists anymore. Right. Because someone's going to pull out a knife or a gun.

And that adds to the sort of male frustration. How about that guy, the guy that helped out in the French train terrorism incident? He got stabbed. I don't know if you guys are know over there in England, but he got stabbed the other day trying to break up a fight between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. The boyfriend pulls out a knife, stabs the guy in the hospital. Well, yeah. I don't know.

I didn't get the part where he was trying to break up a fight or just got into a fight. He was breaking up a fight between a girlfriend and a boyfriend. He was trying to protect a girl who was beaten around. God damn. How many times can the guy fucking be a hero in one calendar month? But we look at that guy and go fuck, that's what we all want to be. But look, the guy now is stabbed.

He can't even... Here, of course. Not in France. Those guys are holding guns and he still is able to pull off a little bit of a hero action. Well, ironically, guns in Europe, knives in the United States. Weird. Who would have thunk it? All right, Kevin and Drew. Yeah.

Here is a problem that is going to be a bigger problem when my son is our age. going to be a bigger problem when my son is our age. In the civilized societies like our own, like many parts of Europe and like yourself, Kevin, we have decided that we should evolve toward the feminine side. Even Drew was preaching about this 20 years ago. Yes, I was.

So what we're doing is we're taking a look at sort of there's a road, a trail. One leads to the penis. The other leads to the vagina. And we all just huddled up at the crossroads. One's strangely. One's a tunnel. Strangely. One's a very small tunnel.

Get a running start. One's a tunnel, strangely. One's a very small tunnel. Get a running start. The point is this. We have decided when we all had a big meeting at the fork in the road, let's head toward the feminine side. That's a more evolved direction. Hey, we're society. We must constantly move as a society.

Let's move forward. Let's move toward this direction. Okay, quite true. So we're going to move toward this. And as we move toward that, a lot of it is going to be nomenclature, like, well, this has to change the way people talk, the way they address each other, certain words they can say, they can't say. We'll also decide that all children are essentially small adults with all the rights that adults have. We'll be sensitive to microaggressions. We'll be sensitive to microaggressions and microfish, like Delta Smelt.

We will look out for every God's creature, big and small. And let's eliminate things like dodgeball and football and aggressive touch and the games that would be more down the penis trail. The guys, sticks, using your finger like a gun and going kapow, which I spent, from age four and a half to 13, I spent making a gun out of my left index finger. Get away with that. All the wrestling, all the roughhousing, all the hazing. Guys like to haze each other. Guys like to hold each other down and fart on their heads and get them in headlocks.

Is that your shithead? Yeah. I've got shit in his ear, literally. Let's all evolve, evolve, and head down the trail of light toward the giant gaping vagina. Okay, because that's where we should evolve. That's where we should aspire. So we all started heading down that. Not a bad idea, you would agree.

No, that's a horrible idea. No, no, no, no. In principle, not a bad idea. It's how we did it that we fucked it up. No. Who says you have to leave the male stuff? We didn't realize that nine-year-old boys are nine-year-old boys. You're not going to convince them to stop roughhousing or wanting to throw a ball.

Or should you? Of course you shouldn't. They should be tackling each other. Going down the vaginal tunnel does not mean you have to completely cut off the penis. It's hard to wrestle inside a vagina. You know what I'm saying? Look, we've decided, then we turned into huge pussies. Now,

now, simultaneously, when all the civilized countries were turning into colossal fucking douchebag pussies, which I warned everybody about in a book called In 50 Years We'll All Be Chicks that's only six years old now.

And boy, have we come a long way. I mean, I really should have said In 11 Years We'll All Be Chicks. I picked 50, and it was like I was one of these guys in one of these action movies who are like, but the climate scientists projected that this wouldn't happen for another hundred years.

It's on us now. We have 72 hours. They never go, let's go find that guy and kick him in the balls. Kick him in the dick. Kick him in the dick. No, this has happened much faster than I thought. This is a problem. Simultaneously, all the non-evolved countries have gone further down the dick trail into,

hey, let's throw the pilot in the cage and burn him alive. Let's behead the person. Hey, that chick was raped repeatedly by family members. Now we need a good honor killing because she's bringing shame to us. They've gone further down the dickhead trail. And as we get further apart, now we're just a bunch of pussies. We're all huddled up inside this vagina going, who's going to do something about these people? Well, the dudes who stormed the beach in Normandy, they're gone.

They went down that dick trail and eventually they died. We don't have any more of those dudes. Or if we do, they're limited. They're very limited. Now we're going to have a problem. do they're limited they're very limited and now we're going to have a problem because we have a group going further down the dick trail middle east russia fucking running down that dick trail and then there's us we're all huddled up inside a pussy going is it raining out there somebody go out there see if it's raining i heard a bear kevin are you in here i heard a bear i'm not going out

there well that's not going to bode very well for the civilized nations in a few years. Thank you, Kevin. I'm enjoying a beer outside with a cigarette, and I'm just doing a quick, in a pint glass, by the way. Liberation.

Wait, hold on a second. A glass outside? That's the first thing you notice. I haven't been tased a little bit yet. I'm still waiting for it. Thank you, Kevin. We'll be back in Europe next summer or I guess this coming summer. Hey, Kevin, please listen to my podcast. I welcome your feedback.

I think I'm fascinated that you're listening over there. Yeah, it is sad the direction this uh everyone is going and again uh yes there you get to have a pint and smoke cigarette outside uh of the pub because you're an adult and they trust you i'm further going down the vagina metaphor i think we're actually becoming infants in the vagina oh think about that. We're going past the vagina into the womb. We're going back, backwards in time. Not only pussified, but actually infantilized. Interesting. Therefore, we can't be trusted with our glass pint.

Interesting. Right? I like that, Drew. Yeah. I take three-quarter credit for it. That's all for this week. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics. Remember to check back weekly for new episodes.

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