The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Reality, Trauma & The Mind of a Man with Jax Taylor; Adam & Dr. Drew #1988

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew sit down with reality TV veteran Jax Taylor for a raw and unfiltered conversation about fame, addiction, and the male psyche. From his unexpected rise on Vanderpump Rules to his struggles with substance abuse, Jax opens up about the turning points in his life, the toxic behaviors he’s working to unlearn, and the hard truths about modern dating. The trio also dive into the shifting definitions of trauma, masculinity, and narcissism, sparking a debate on personal responsibility versus societal trends. Is today’s culture too quick to label discomfort as trauma? Can a self-proclaimed former womanizer teach people about healthy relationships? For more from Jax Taylor: PODCAST: “IN THE MIND OF A MAN” INSTAGRAM: @mrJaxTaylor UPCOMING “IN THE MIND OF A MAN” LIVE TOUR - Jax tackles modern dating, relationships, and the male psyche with raw honesty. APRIL 18 - NASHVILLE, TN @ The Bluepring Supply Co MAY 3 - ORLANDO, FL @ Tin Roof MAY 4 - TAMPA, FL @ New Tampa Performing Arts Center MAY 16 - AUSTIN, TX @ Wanderlust Wine Co. - Shady Lane

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bet online has them all. Bet online is your number one sports betting source. Bet online, the game starts here. Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Corolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist, Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew show. Get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on,

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He's got a podcast, got an upcoming tour. Gonna talk about modern dating, relationships, the male psyche with raw honesty. The podcast, by the way, In the Mind of a Man, and that's available wherever you find finer podcasts. With Podcast One, actually, with you honesty. The podcast, by the way, In the Mind of a Man, and that's available wherever you find finer podcasts. Yeah, with Podcast One, actually, with you guys. So how did this, how did the Vanderpump rules stuff come about?

Okay, so, man, it started a long time ago. I was working at Sir with my whole group of friends there, and I was kind of in the process, the transition, of trying to figure out what I was gonna do with my life. I hit 30 years old. I was in LA for a long time. Kind of just wasn't, didn't want to be here too much anymore. I was like, I had my fun. I'm ready to get out of here and move back east and get a real job.

Then Lisa Vanderpump's kind of came to us and said, hey, we got this show idea. What do you think? And I'm like, you know what? I'm done with this city. But why did Lisa Vanderpump? Because you're working at her restaurant. I was working at her restaurant. I was in between, like I was doing some modeling and stuff like that, and I kind of was in between.

I didn't want to do the modeling thing anymore, and the girl I was dating, Stassi, at the time, she said, why don't you just bartend at this restaurant, you know, until you figure out what you want to do, keep yourself busy a little bit. I'm like, okay, you know, it's a good restaurant, it's Hollywood, there's good money in it, sure, why not? And that's kind of how I got that job through Stasi.

And probably didn't think it would turn into what it turned into. Nobody did, nobody did. It was, you know, like literally, I was on my way out of California, I was gone, and she said, why don't you just give this one more shot? And I was like, okay, go meet with the producers, go figure out, they wanna to see who you are.

They want to talk to you a little bit. And yeah, that's what happened. And they kind of just green lit it right from there. And it came with, I don't know, baggage or something. I don't know, were you not, I don't know. I should say ready to handle what comes with this kind of stuff? In the beginning, no.

I had no idea how big the show was gonna get. Like on these things, they're all about timing, you know? And it just took off. And I think the reason why it took off is because it's so organic. We were not a casted group. We were already a group of friends. So it was really easy for the producers and all that just to kind of show up, turn the cameras on,

and let us go. And that's what they did. And I feel like, you know, I get asked all the time, I do these talks about reality shows and what makes a successful reality show, is finding a group of people that already exist. Instead of casting, okay, we need Suzy to make out with Joe, we need Joe to fight with Steve, we need Steve to not get along with this person

because it's transparent, people can see that. If you find an existing group of friends already and then film them, it's just organic. It's real. Not just though the existing group of friends, but also stakes, like circumstance, 90 Day Fiance, jobs, bosses. There's always something about the setup

that's already underway. And as you said, when you just turn the cameras on, it is real life. I mean, this is what we do. So we can't really just turn it off for you guys. You know, so. Yeah, I know they talk about all those shows being cooked, but I did a reality show about rebuilding my town. I did a reality show about rebuilding my town. I did a reality show about rebuilding my town. I did a reality show about rebuilding my town. I did a reality show about rebuilding my town.

I did a reality show about rebuilding my town. I did a reality show about rebuilding my town. You know, so. Yeah, I know they talk about all those shows being cooked, you know, but I did a reality show about rebuilding my dad's house, and I worked with all the people I worked construction with, and we didn't cook anything, we just did the show. We just did the show. You know, they're not, I think there's a falsehood that people think like, oh, don't be so naive, they cook all that stuff.

And some do. But not necessarily is what I'm saying. I can honestly say Vanderpump Rules and now the new show, The Valley, which I'm on, we don't do that at all. Obviously, the only thing that they have to talk about is if we're going to a restaurant, if we're going to a place, obviously 24 hours notice, the place has to know,

that's just the laws in LA for filming and things like that. But as far as like guiding us and telling us what to do, not on our show, maybe other shows, but not on ours, not The Valley, not Vanderpump Rules. I think also people imagine that there is always this, hang on, hang on, we gotta get a camera over there. Or hang on, the sound guy's still in the back.

Just hang on. That's not telling you what to do. That's just, the other thing that I think is weird about reality shows is that people feel as proprietary ownership as though it's the individual viewer in the room with you, not realizing there's three cameras and a guy holding the cable for the camera

and two sound guys. And that's the odd thing to me is that they don't understand that it is a recording of life also. Right, and to go back to what you were saying, most of the time it's a crew, right? There's an eight-man crew. So there's usually two, we'll film a scene, some other people will film a scene, and you're right,

there's only two cameras. So sometimes I'll be having a conversation and they're like, well, stop, stop. So sometimes I'll be having a conversation, and they're like, well, stop, stop, we want to catch this, can you wait for the camera to come downstairs first? Yeah, that happens all the time, but it's just because we're short-man.

No, that's not cooking it, that's just saying pause for a second so we get a camera. It's a pain in the ass, and you hate it, and everyone hates it, but okay, all right. Especially when you're in the heat of the moment, and you're having a conversation, and the producer's like, wait, stop, we need the camera to come out, so yeah.

Yeah, Drew's an avid watcher of reality TV. How dare you? Well, you're avid, which a lot of people wouldn't think you would be, but there's a few different ways you can watch reality TV. There's like a weird, just pure entertainment, and then there's a sort of dissection of the human psyche. You know, you don't have to...

I watch TV commercials. I'm the only guy I know who watches TV commercials, because I want to study our society. And TV commercials are a 30-second glimpse into society now. Like, if you went back 50 years and you see the commercials, that's society now. Like if you went back 50 years and you see the commercials, that's society then.

Like commercials are like logos in that they have to make sense in 30 seconds. There's no long setup. So you can never be confused by commercial. And thus they need to be right where we're at from a societal standpoint right now if they showed Gay couples living together like they do now in the 60s People would be confused when they saw the commercials they wouldn't know what that was right?

There's two guys or widowers or something they lost their wives and then they had to move in together like a couple or something But you see it now you're fine fine. Or an interracial couple. We wouldn't know what the hell that was if you did that in 1972. Now it's like, oh, okay, Subaru. Right, get it. So I like, I think you can study almost anything. You know, it's getting philosophical here, but what I'm saying is it's like, you'd be left alone with just some trade magazine you don's getting philosophical here, but what I'm saying is it's like, you'll be left alone with just some trade magazine you don't even know about, but you can still look at it and kind of glean things.

And I would suggest people go down that road in life, because you'll never be bored. You can just, you can watch all the bad sitcoms, you can watch all the commercials, you can hear every crappy 80s song. I'm driving here, listening to the 80 sitcoms, you can watch all the commercials, you can hear every crappy 80s song. I'm driving here listening to the 80s channel, they're playing Pac-Man Fever. And I was listening to it, not because I enjoyed it, but more of a what the fuck were we doing in 1985. And it takes you back. I'm a big 80s on eight, 90s on nine kind of guy. That's all I listen

to too. So I get what you're saying. There's songs on there, you're like, man, what was I doing? I remember hanging out with my dad in the car and him going to pick up a pack of smokes. And we were listening to this. What was I doing, what are they doing? Right. I'm curious about the podcast. Yeah.

Because five minutes ago, you couldn't have done this podcast. What do you mean, mind of a man? What is a man? Men are no different than women, what do you do? How dare you? Right. And of course, it is glaringly obvious

that it's time for this conversation. Are you getting any pushback on it? Yeah, a little bit considering what has been going on in my life lately, and listen, I'm not claiming to know men by any means, you know, I'm claiming to know toxic men and their problematic behaviors. Just basically, essentially to bring like, awareness of the red flags.

And, you know, so many women on social media are saying how they're, you know, ghosted or gaslighted or just, you know, a lot of things that are going on in their relationships. And unfortunately, you know, I've done all these things. And I feel like I can give a little bit of insight on this so I can help women not find men like me. And I'm not claiming to be completely recovered

or anything like that. I just feel like I have a little bit of understanding. And again, I'm talking about red flags and lacking consistency. Calls one day, not the next. Conversation is always surface level. Not bringing people around their inner circle. Love bombing, narcissistic behavior, things like that. And it's just kind of lighthearted, it's fun.

And if people have watched me over the years, I think they'll appreciate it because they've seen me being such a disaster of a boyfriend in relationships, now finally coming full circle and being like, hey, this is what I did, I'm taking accountability, this is what to watch out for, basically. It seems like a great service you're doing.

And I don't know any place you can get that kind of a firsthand, honest assessment. Other than that, what do you do with the women that are attracted anyway? What do you tell them? You know what? You give them all your advice, and then you just say, good luck. I mean, women are just, there's a lot of women out there

just like bad boys. They just like to be, they like the chaos. They thrive on it. It's not gonna end up going well, but it's almost like they thrive on chaos, you know? And that's what they weren't, you know? Because they get the nice guy and then they're bored. So, you know, you can give them, you know, your insight.

You can let them, you know, this is what's going on. But if you go this way, if you go the way of Jax Taylor, then this is what's gonna happen. I'm not claiming to know men by any means. And I'm getting a lot of flack, but people haven't really listened to my podcast. And I want them to listen to it before they make any kind of judgment on me, because I think I can help a lot of people out there. So two questions I have.

One, give me the top three red flags that you warn people about, number one. And then I'm very interested in how you go from, as you say, not caring, to I'm hoping develop the capacity for empathy. Well, I think that just comes with age. I think that comes with, you know. No, it doesn't. No? Okay, well, with me, it's like, for me,

no, maybe not for me, it's age. No, hold on a second. I think for me, it's just. It slows you. What comes with age is your lust, libido, a willingness to fight strange guys, you met at a bar. A lot of the, you can call it a maturity, but it's just a kind of a general mellowing which keeps look there's only Mark Garagos his dad who was an attorney I

don't know what is he a prosecutor he said if they just get rid of guys 18 to 34 there'd be no more crime. It's true. What's the first red flag, Jax? First one. All it is is guys in this era of 18 to 34 that commit all the violent crime. You get rid of those guys, there's no more violent crime. Now, how do those guys, do those guys have a moral revelation or are they just kind of age out? And not in a bad way, just, you know,

I'm not gonna put my hands on anybody anymore. I don't think, like I said, I'm just kinda giving things, maybe it is age, with me, I just got tired of it. It gets old after a while, whatever you do. Well, that is an age thing, yeah. It just gets tired of being the womanizer, it gets tired of just going after girl after girl after girl, and also too, some people just have

a problem with it, you know, it's like drugs, they have a problem with sex addiction and things like that. Some people just- Did you have that? I think I dabble in it a little bit, yeah. I think I- Do you have to go in recovery for that? I am not in recovery for that, no. I'm just kind of sticking with the substance abuse right now

and trying to figure that out. Maybe we'll branch into that later. I'm trying to fix one problem before I get to the other problems. I'm trying to patch- It gets confusing if people go to multiple 12 step programs. You got to, the one that's most threatening is the one you got to take care of. And to me, to be honest with you, I think I have some other deep rooted issues.

I personally don't think alcohol and drugs were the problem. I was just masking my issues with the drugs and alcohol. I don't think I have an alcohol problem, but I do have a substance problem. But they go hand in hand, so I had to quit both. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, I personally, I'm the type of person, if I'm having a vodka on the rocks, I'm looking for a bag of cocaine.

I'm gonna find one. Yeah. And I just had to stop at both. I just had to stop, and it's just like, enough was enough, I'm 45 years old. I had a great run, it's time to quit. It's just the way it is. Adam, I'm surprised that you're surprised.

I mean, the disorder is in this one medial forebrain bundle, and it's activated by all the substances. Oh, I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised. You can't do this and not do that. Right, yeah. It was a trigger for me. Like I said, I'd have two drinks,

and I'm looking for who's got the bag, who is it at? Like I said, I was masking all the issues that I've gone through over the years. I've had a lot of trauma in my life. Like I said, instead of dealing with it head on, going to therapy, I would mask it by doing drugs and then it would have ended up being worse because in the next 72 hours I'm coming down from that. I feel like absolute shit. I was like, why am I doing this?

Dave Korsunsky But there you go. You're dealing with the traumas now, and that is where you begin to find the capacity for empathy and emotional regulations. Aging maybe turns the volume down where you can do the work, but you got to do the work. You got to do the work. And I'm such a quick fix guy.

I'm like the kind of guy, like, how can I fix this problem? Who can I pay to fix this? How do I make this go away? And this is one of those things that you can't, you really got to work at it. You know, when I went to rehab, I was like, let's just get this over with, man. I'm fine, I? How do I make this go away? And this is one of those things that you can't you really got to work at it You know when I went to rehab, I was like, let's just get this over with man. I'm fine. I'm fine I'm fine And that's just not how it works

You've got to like dive in and fix these problems or you're just gonna go right back to doing drugs and alcohol again Yeah, all right. Let's let's break down trauma For a second because I got I got sort of two heads of thought one is for a second, because I got sort of two heads of thought. One is, that was pretty good. And listen, I want everyone to deal with their trauma. On the other hand, every female I know who's under the age of 40 says she's a trauma survivor, and I don't want people walking around

thinking they were traumatized when they weren't actually traumatized. I don't feel like that's helping them. They're just getting them into some sort of self-help spiral when there's... Look, okay, here's what I want to say. When you play sports and we all play football, I'm guessing, and then when you go down and you're nine and you're like holding your ankle or your knee, if you're really injured, you need help. But sometimes you need the coach to go,

hey, up on your feet, you know, we got a game to finish here. And if you're really injured, that's not gonna be good. But if you just think you're injured, but you are okay, you do need the person to go back on your feet, we're getting back in the game. You're not going to sit on the sideline and sulk about this, we're going in.

And you have to figure it out. I think there's too many people saying they're injured and can't get back in the game and it's not helping them. So I want to figure out who is actually traumatized and who is just sort of from a societal trend. Like there's trending things. Like there's no way, we got a big problem with little boys thinking they're little girls

and little girls thinking they're little boys or you know, whatever. If you surveyed half the high school girls in Los Angeles, they would say they're bisexual. That's not true. It's just a trend. It's something that's, it's 10 minutes old. It's only on the East Coast and the West Coast.

It's not in the middle of the country, right? So of course it's a trend. Trauma's becoming a trend too. Everyone I talk to is telling me about their trauma, but some of it doesn't really sound like anything except for childhood or lumps and bumps, and then some is trauma. Right, I think we also grew up in a different time too.

We did. My dad, you know, get your ass out there. You don't have trauma. No, it was, but they sort of knew what they were doing, even if they didn't think about what they were doing. And I look back and I'm like, you know, like I said, we grew up in a different generation, and it was not my dad's fault, it's not my grandfather's fault.

They were raised that way, that's how they were taught. I'm not saying it's a fault, though. We were better back then. I agree, I agree. I think we're, we should have called things. It's like saying they just ate natural stuff back then. They didn't know any better. They didn't have McDonald's. It's like saying they just ate natural stuff back then. They didn't know any better. They didn't have McDonald's.

It's like, yeah, they didn't. They didn't have serotonin reuptake inhibitors, they didn't have tons of drugs, they didn't have tons of shitty food. They just did things, get up, get to work, kinda. And we look at that as like insensitive, but it's the way society worked. Like it was there for a reason.

And where, you know, the last five to 10 years, the transition of life and the way things are, it's just, it's a shock, especially to people our age. And we're like, okay, we're transitioning. And it's tough though, because we were taught a certain way and now we have to teach this way. So it's a little difficult. Yeah, well, so the question is,

there are things we didn't grow up with. Like none of us grew up with gay marriage Okay, but we're fine with gay marriage because two dudes want to get married good on them No care. That's an evolution right in my mind, right? the A man is a woman is a woman is a man or everyone is traumatized. That's bullshit And so we shouldn't go we shouldn't go there. Not all evolution is positive.

We're drifting into a place where- Let me make a case. We didn't, our grandparents didn't agree with this is what I'm saying, but some of what they didn't agree with was right. Go ahead. My case is not only what, and Adam, not only that, but it can be both. And both are important, right?

I'm holding up Rob Henderson's book, Troubled. I did it. The reason I'm in New York, I moderated a panel for him yesterday. His book's being re-released. It's gonna be a movie too. And he had the get up and go thing. He joined the military.

He found his way into Yale, then Cambridge. And then he hit a bottom with his trauma and he started drinking excessively and he needed treatment. He did both. He got up and got his shit together and he got treatment for the trauma. So if you leave one, by the way,

and when it comes to get up and get going, exposure is the way you create resiliency and the way you create medical, mental health. Expose people to stress and adversity, but That said sometimes you also have to go after the trauma in order to keep people. I'm not saying don't go after the trauma Dodo I'm saying what is trauma? I we have too many people thinking they suffered We have whole communities. We're doing it to black people

We're doing it to women We're trying to convince them that they're not wanted or traumatized or lesser than and it's fucking them up is what I'm saying I agree. That's what I'm saying. We're under some mission to To convince everyone they were traumatized and it's slowing their role. You're paralyzing these people. It drives me nuts. What Freud said when Freud got to this country, they asked him, what do you hope to accomplish in America?

And he said, well, I hope to understand the difference between mental illness and trauma and ordinary misery. So has the definition of trauma changed over the years? Yes, it has. It has. Well, what it's done is it's followed the trajectory of sexual assault. Okay. So, or you know what?

Just assault. We'll remove the taboo word from it. Assault, when we were growing up, meant somebody punched somebody or hit somebody with a broomstick or something. Somebody was assaulted. Right, somebody was hurt. Somebody was hurt, somebody was assaulted.

Now, if you're a reporter and you're walking on the floor of the convention and some Trump guy grabs your shoulder and pulls you away from Trump or whatever, you were on the news, she was assaulted. The CNN reporter was assaulted. And so under this definition, then we've all been assaulted.

Right. We've all been assaulted and under the same, now we all have trauma. Right. Because we've all been assaulted. Under modern whatever sexual assault, every one of us is now guilty of rape because in California you've had sex with women

who were inebriated. Okay, so you're rapist, I'm a rapist. Drew, sorry, you're rapist. I know your wife likes to have a tilt a few back in the day. So we're all rapists. All right, are we rapists though? Or is that just a new definition that didn't exist 10 minutes ago?

I think that yeah I mean I think assaulted that word has changed obviously over the years too. So the person you had sex with after she had two vodka soda waters is now a rape victim and you assaulted her and you're a rapist. That's gonna fuck us up. That's what I'm saying and she shouldn't go into therapy Because she's a rape victim and you shouldn't think of yourself as a rapist and she shouldn't think of herself as a Survivor of right. That's what I'm saying

Thank you It's a damn good point. No, nobody likes anything I say, but that's because you're fucking stupid if you're stupid that's on you I it's a corollary to this. I thought sorry. You're not stupid. You're scared You're talking to a psychologist speaking to this this very point about fear Yesterday who was doing a symposium on false claims false claims of assault and sexual assault and rape and whatnot. And he was in a room of several hundred psychologists and he said, how many of you have had the clear cut evidence of a false claim

in your practice? O'Rourke raised their hand and the average was 10 cases of false claim. And he says his theory is like 70% 60 70 percent are false claims now Yeah, but that's who's who's? Going to decide what a false claim is I know I am under California law You have sex with someone who's intoxicated then that's right. That's not a false claim then No, that's right. Well, that's what they're calling a false

claim. It's not what Gavin Newsom is calling a false claim is what I'm saying. So we don't even know what a false claim is. I'm talking about complete fabrication of an assault. Yes, but if you're talking to some 63 year old therapist or psychiatrist and he finds out that this person that raped their client was married to the person and they've been out drinking that night, he's going to label it a false claim. I don't know. I didn't get that deep into it. That could be. All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

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So interesting anyway, I'm on a crusade to have people not see themselves as victims, but Trauma still trauma Hmm, and if you had it you should deal with it But the question is is what was the trauma you you're talking about Jackson's reading his phone right now. No, sorry. I'm reading my notes your notes your trauma. You're talking about, Jack's just reading his phone right now. Sorry, I'm reading my notes. Your notes, your trauma, sorry. What was your trauma?

I've had a lot. Drew, sorry, your feed is a little wanky, but that's all right. Try talking. Test one, two. All right, you're good. Go ahead, Jack. I think I've had a lot, a little bit there. I guess you can really dissect,

like you said, trauma and things. I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life, a lot of family, a lot of family issues. My father passing was my big one. That was an unexpected passing. You know, I no longer talk to my mother, which kinda, I lost my mother and my father at the same time. That was, you know, just a big deal to me.

And I think I kind of, you know, I think it took me, my dad was my best friend. And you know, after that happened, that's when I started hitting the substance hard, because I was trying to cope with the loss of my father, not having him there. When did your father die? He died about six years ago, seven years ago,

and that's when everything started going bad for me as far as with my substance. That's when I started hitting it harder. The fact that you have a mom that would disconnect from her son affects my spidey sense about what your upbringing was like with that mom. I just didn't get a... I didn't agree with how she handled my father's passing, and my sister and I just didn't agree with it. And we were angry, we were sad,

and at that time I just wanted to disconnect, and unfortunately I haven't spoke to her since. She didn't see my wedding, she hasn't seen my son be born, my son was born, she missed a lot of big events. And it was traumatic, I got married and I didn't have any family there. I had got married and I didn't have any family there. I had a son and I didn't have any family there. So that's traumatic to me, that's traumatic

because you're supposed to have these people in your lives when you have these big things like marriage and having my son being born. That was traumatic for me. I mean, as a man, you want your father and your mother to be there when you're having, and they can't be there, and you grow up thinking, okay, I can't wait for my parents to see what I have and buying a home and starting a family

and getting married, all these things. And then they're not there all of a sudden. And I can't call my dad and ask him for advice. You know, I can't call my mother and ask her for advice on things that like, this is when I need my parents the most right now, because I need to, you know, I'm just trying to figure things out. I'm going through a hard time right now.

I'm going through a divorce. I got diagnosed with bipolar. I went to rehab twice. And not only that, my life is public. Everybody knows my every waking move. And that's only, that's another traumatic thing. Could you imagine, you know, going through a public divorce and everybody giving their input on why I'm getting divorced and what kind of man I am, what kind of father I am.

Like, that's heavy shit. Yeah. Well, I would recommend not reading Reddit. I'm getting divorced, what kind of man I am, what kind of father I am, like that's heavy shit. Yeah, well, I would recommend not reading Reddit. I don't shit, we make jokes about that. Reddit is a fucking awful, awful, awful place. And if Reddit is hearing this, I don't give a shit. Because they're just awful. And these are people that are nobody

just kind of sitting at home on their keyboards, just, you know. Don't even look at it. I've never gone, in fact, Mallory's laughing out there right now. She just shakes her head because we just, we stay way, way away from that. Even on social media, the comments, I mean,

you're attacking people that you watch a glimpse of their life on TV, and you're hearing bits and pieces from tabloids that are getting pieces of information and trying to put it together and generate their own story. And it's just, it's hurtful, you know? Did I put myself in this position by being on reality TV?

Absolutely. But I mean, just the attacking that I get, it hurts a little bit. And I have thick skin, man. I don't let shit bother me. But after a while, sometimes things wear on you. All right, well, Drew's having a little technical Issue that we need to sort out so I'm gonna know what it's all perfect at this end

I know but take our word for it on our end. Although you sound good. Yeah, it's a visual thing. All right, well Well, we'll just wrap this a couple of minutes shorter than we normally do because we gotta solve this problem. But let me give you a plug, Jax. Let's see. In the Mind of a Man, that's the podcast. That's on podcast one. It's available at podcast one

or wherever you listen to finer podcasts and then the tour's coming up. Yeah, very excited about that. Nashville's our first stop. That's April 18th. Yes, and like I said, I just wanna make sure, I'm not claiming to know men by any means. I'm claiming to know toxic men because I'm one of them.

I'm a narcissist and I'm trying to fix that issue, but I think a little bit of, I think everybody's got a little narcissism in it. Do you agree? Well, everyone has a little bit of, they don't mind the taste of their own spit, but you can't spit in their mouth, they'll throw up. So we're built to like our own stuff,

but I don't think that's narcissism, you know, or even a little bit of narcissism. But you do, look, when there's a plane crash, you think, I'm glad I wasn't on that plane. That's you thinking about you. But I don't know that that's narcissism, because that same person would say, if my son was on that plane,

I would swap positions with my son to keep him safe. So I don't, we all have a little self-preservation, and I'm glad that's not me kind of thing, So I don't, you know, we all have a little self preservation. Yeah. And I'm glad that's not me kind of thing, but I don't know. But, and then you have to figure out where that ends. Like for some people, it just goes into sociopathic liar,

do everything for them. I've done that too. It's a kind of a, look, you get 10 M&Ms, I'll give you a five, I'll keep five. Right. Most people wanna keep six and give you four. Some people take them all and punch you. You know what I mean?

And there are people who keep two and give you eight. You know, it's all sort of in the mix. But if you're like a lot of college kids today, or even I like to read about successful people, successful men, right? Show me a successful man that's not narcissistic a little bit. Show me a successful man that's not, you know.

But then, but what is the difference? Like I know guys who believe in their ability, but they're not necessarily a narcissist. They just have a strong belief and then they become successful. I mean, yeah, it does take a little bit of, you know, you want to be successful, you need, you need a little of that. Right. But I don't know if that's narcissism or being or extroverted, you know, like is an extrovert a narcissist?

You know, a guy who comes in and goes listen to me gentlemen, I got a plan and it's a it's a number one You know what I mean? Like well, he maybe he's a narcissist But he's also believes in himself and is an extrovert and that's not bad. What's wrong with that? Nothing's wrong with that That's what I'm saying. Like I don't know that these guys are Necessarily a narcissist. Can you throw confidence in there? Can you throw driven in there? Can you throw, I mean, again, it takes a lot for you to be successful.

You gotta start at the ground and work your way up, and you gotta fine tune yourself, and you're gonna come through problems that you're not gonna like, so you have to be a little narcissistic, you have to be a little greedy, a little selfish. Well, I don't know, see, it's semantics now, because I don't know that you have to be,

if a narcissist is negative, but confidence isn't and being a self-starter isn't and having energy and being an extrovert, I don't think you need to be a narcissist if you have all those other qualities is what I'm saying. So here's the way people think about it. The fundamental failing of narcissism is the inability to take into account

other people's feelings, particularly from our actions as the narcissist. And you're the guy you're describing, who's driven and successful and whatnot, is also going to make sacrifices. And to the extent that he doesn't care that those sacrifices affect other people, well, now we're into narcissism.

Right. All right. A happy note well now we're into narcissism. Right. All right. A happy note to go out on, narcissism. Jax Taylor, thanks for joining us today. No, thanks for having me. I'm glad we touched on a few things. In the mind of a man, David's podcast. Me, I'll be in San Diego doing standup

at the American Comedy Club. That'll be March 11th and 12th, two shows there. Just go to Amcro.com for all the live shows. Drew? As Dr. Drew on Rumble. So it's right there. And until next time, I'm Crola for Dr. Drew and Jack Stahler saying, mahalo. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing, engaging and monetizing. And that's where Podcast One Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro

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