The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - The Entry Hall of Life (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: March 1, 2025

Adam and Drew open the show talking about how people get in their own way when trying to do something. Adam explains that the main hurdle that people allow to get in their way is themselves and a large part of anything is going ahead and doing it. Adam also explains some of what was normal when he was growing up and how that inspired him. They also take listener calls on metal illness, the difference between drug abuse and drug addiction and grand mal seizures.

This is Corolla Digital. Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Corolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. I'm going to be a man. I'm going to be a man. All right. One thing I forgot to talk to you about, we're talking about grit in our last episode. And I feel like a broken record by what I just tell people just go do it. It's good. Do it. Start doing it. What? Meaning what? Do whatever. Well,

I've talked, you know, I've talked to Lynette, you know, talking about making a documentary. She goes, How do you make a document? I said, you know how you make a documentary? You make a documentary. Yeah, start doing it. Just start doing it. And I don't know how you make a documentary? You make a documentary. You just start doing it. You just start doing it. And I don't know how to make a documentary, but it's one of these things you guys will find in your life that, for instance, I don't like to talk about myself, Drew.

Okay. Well, just for this one exception, go ahead. But here it goes. Just one time? Just one time. Just one time. Just one time. Okay, just for this one exception, go ahead. Ben here, Gus. Just one time? Just one time. Just one time. Just one time. Okay, one time. There's a lot of things in my life that I've not done before.

Lots of things. Hold on. Slow down. Okay. Got that. I built this studio, but I've never built a studio before. Huh? The reason I successfully built the studio we're in is because I've done so many other building projects, not studios. You could adapt.

So many projects that involved building and engineering and design that I was able to then lend those skills to building a studio. So people say, well, how do you build a studio? I don't know. Well, now I know. But build a whole bunch of other shit, always be building something, and then you'll have no problem building a studio. I took my race trailer, and I was trying to figure out what a race. Yeah, that's what you saw on my face. Yeah, I do I drive around and I ran but I was thinking round up black folk and

I educate them and That's all I'm gonna say Okay It's kind of like a bookmobile but different but it's a race trailer. Yeah, is it is there different race trailer? No different. I've said too much. I've said too much. Do you have something for guys? It's not going out tonight. Okay. Not tonight. Anyway. Now where was I? Race trailer. I just thought I never I never thought I'd know someone who like had a race trailer. You know what I mean? It's me. I was like struck my ear. Me neither. I mean I've got a race trailer. That's something other people have.

Other people like some that's some. I mean nobody, anyone trailer. That's something other people have. Other people? Like some... I mean, nobody, anyone, my dad would know. Right. I have a race trailer and it's, I don't know, 36 feet long or whatever it is. Put the extras in there? I cannot fit two cars. Two of my cars won't fit end to end in there because it'll hang out, one of them will hang out the back.

Like heartbreaking. It's devastating. You don't know heartache until you've not been able to take two cars to Pebble Beach. So the one hangs out, it's the sad, the heartbreak is... It is sort of a dragster trailer. Well you drag it? No put two things Dragster, you know, you put a race car car Yeah, they're not big long cars ones a short car ones a long car saying you could fit to nearly fit two in there

That's a long trailer. Yeah, it's like 30 something feet But if you put the two in then the one hangs out the back a very small amount, about like 11, 12, about 12 inches. Not enough. Anything over that point, you can't close the door. So what shall we do about this? How are we going to carry both cars in this trailer when one has the end sticking out the back and the front pushed all the way as far forward as it possibly can be.

Well, I made fabricated a little hinge lift that does not lift the whole thing up. It just lifts the back end up of the smaller car and it comes up about two feet at the rear tires, which then kicks the rear trunk. By the time you get to trunk, it's up about three feet. And the front car nose slides under it about a foot and a half. And thus we shut the door and we move on. Now I've ever done one of those before? No. I just looked at the whole thing and people thought I was nuts. And I said, no, this is an easy one. I got this figured out. Go get some steel, start cutting it, start welding it, make a hinge, bolt it to the floor work it out

And they're all along the way people do the well What are you gonna do to this and what are you gonna do to hold the thing down? And how you're gonna jack it up and I go figure it out. So I'll work it on problems And if you look at it super simple doesn't weigh much very sturdy and No problemo and it's done You can by the way see it mocked up there's a mocked up version of it if you would uh... like to go to uh...

our website should put a jack other kind of thing or is that building at the jackson i have a jack under there just building and and then i kicked it off i mocked it up i see so that you you'll have some steel. I got it. I got it. Two legs come down. Got it.

It's mocked up. Okay, done. So why can I do that? Well, because I've done a bunch of shit. And when you do a bunch of shit, you get to do more shit. Well it's interesting because that's the world of improvisation. And very little emphasis in our world, in our training, put on improv. And improv is really where... Oh yeah, there it is. Inaction. Improv is really where skill and professionalism become virtuosity.

You know what I mean? But Never Never talks about that, don't they? They don't talk about it as improv anyway. It's kind of interesting, isn't it? Yeah. And it's not different than what you do with comedy. Yeah. Oh, by the way, the third picture showed was not the car wasn't jacked up. They were just jacked up. Yeah, I thought so. Right, right. Thanks. So you don't need that one. Improvisation is a good thing to know, but... But, no, no, no. That is improvisation. Problem solving is improving.

Built on all your other skill sets and judgments, pulling them together in a holistic fashion and improvising a solution. Yeah. I guess it is. I never think of it that way. I always think of it as a much more mechanical way. Same kind of thing though. Yeah. And people are fearful of that. Well, I know they're fearful of it because all they do is explain to you what the worst case scenario is all the time. But listen, they don't trust their instincts, they don't take risk, and they don't...

Improv requires leaping forward, you know, trusting an instinct. It's also, you know, it's like sitting around and asking someone how to get in shape over and over again. It's like just start moving. Start moving. I think you're... All right. Here's the next topic I want to talk about because I think this is the same topic. You think I've oversimplified this? I used to be capable of doing nothing.

Yes. Now, I'm capable of doing anything I want, for the most part, only because I started knocking things off and then sort of building on those successes. And then once you go... So engaging, for sure. You've got to engage in the beginning. Yeah. But once you...

Every little victory, every little time you go, well, I built this studio, well, I can take that car and fit it in my trailer. All that is risk that is paid reward. Risk reward. I took a risk, built this building, paid out. Now I've got more confidence to take other kinds of risk. Yeah, I don't... It's not so risky to do it anymore because I've already done it. Yeah.

I don't look at these things as risk. But listen, I'm trying to articulate it to understand why everyone doesn't do it. I understand, but I don't know about... Well, everyone... Everyone should do this. Everyone doesn't do it because there's two reasons why they don't do it. One, they're lazy. So that's the initial thing. You've got to engage.

Okay. Right. But that's the very beginning. And B, because of their lethargy they've not Exercised the muscles it takes to do this. Yes, it's having after developing judgment developing, right, right So my thing to everyone, you know when people say I want to be a writer I want to do comedy. How do I do comedy? Yeah, go start doing it Well, how many times did we sit with rock bands and people call it ago?

How would you do this? How do you get my career? They'd go what you just get band again You want to road you start playing start playing start playing clubs and every band There's a great example there. There's no Band that says what happened? Well, I got together with some guys I went to high school with on a Monday and then we were playing Madison Square Garden on Friday Every story is the same story hit the road slept in a van went from venue to venue got ripped off by whoever Opened for these guys got booed off stage open for these guys, got booed off stage, drummer died of overdose, got back in the van.

You know what I mean? I mean it's just in the van, in the van, on the road, in the van. And if you stop them, and here's what I'm trying to explain to everyone. Or, before you explain it, or they didn't say, well, I took 17 years of lessons and I honed my skill. They don't say that to you. They don't say it. There's some of that in there, but then they went out and did the stuff.

Right. And if you stopped any one of them at any time in that van, broken down by the side of the road in the rainstorm, driving back from Denver where the gig where they played the 35 people, and you said to them, what do you think you think the future was gonna hold they'd have no fucking idea at that point That's right. That's why I never thought about that. You're right. They wouldn't say well, I'm gonna be successful They wouldn't say that no, we're gonna be you too one day We're gonna be wouldn't say that it made they might harbor a little dream of that but they they just go I'm here's the future tonight. We're gonna to be at a gig. Why would they? They're in a broken down van, moving their own equipment, setting up their own equipment.

Where are you going to be a year from now? Answer, truthfully, for most of them, probably in this van. Where are you going to be five years from now? Well, I could be a school teacher, maybe we'll be rock stars, I doubt it. We'll probably be in this van. That's the answer. And I'm happy doing this. I like doing it.

I love doing it. Well, I don't know that I'm happy or that I love it. It's what I do. It's not, see, it's a weird thing because when you start mixing happiness in and loving it, now we got a situation because I'm not happy going to industrial metal supply and buying some thick walled 2x6 tubing and laying out and cutting it with a carburendum blade. It doesn't make me happy, but am I satisfied?

Does it feel right? Not good. Right. Isn't satisfaction something you and I have talked about a few times. Well, we've gotten into this a few times but what I'm saying is is I And maybe it's maybe it's me, but I'm careful not to say That guy's happy. Yeah, like if you've over that word doesn't have any meaning anymore. I think we're talking if you said to me Would you like to snap your fingers and have this studio built?

I would say yes. I would like that. That would make me happy. That would make me happy. It's going to be hard and expensive and dusty over the next three months to build this studio. But now, and I was never happy coming in here and gluing plywood down to the floor, but I look at this console that I built and I feel satisfied.

That's the satisfaction, gratified even, is a more powerful word I think. Yeah, I came here on a Saturday alone and laid up the laminate by myself just because I was pumped up about wanting to finish this project. So the guys in the van, are they happy that they're in a shitty van?

Probably not. Are they feeling satisfaction? I would say yes. Yeah. Do they know they're gonna go platinum in five years? No. Zero. No. No. And by the way, why should they know? Do you know the amount of bands that have attempted to make a platinum record versus number of platinum records handed out? Right. Way less than 1%. Way less than 1%. But there's another piece to this too. I think people have lost the judgment of when to jump off to when it's no longer satisfying. There's time, yes. Yeah. time to get out of that van. But, so what I'm saying to everybody who comes up to me and says, I want to do a podcast or I want to do comedy.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Do it. Start. And then they go, well, what's your, you know, they want the angle. See, what they want is the shortcut that avoids the long van ride. Yeah. And it's like here's the answer. You're gonna be in a van for five years. Maybe more. Maybe more and at the end of that van ride after five years they may just drop

you off at your folks house and you may just claim the futon in the extra bedroom. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was zero. So that's why when it does pay off as a band, or as a performer, comedian, that's why you get the compensation you get, and that's why you get the lifestyle you get. And then there's variations. There's big bands, there's small bands. But the point is don't ask and stop asking

about what it's gonna take to do X, Y, or Z. Start doing it. Let me ask this because we're trying to raise kids and we're worried about them being successful in engaging the world and stuff. I'm not that worried about it. Is there something wrong with you and I is what I'm going to ask. Do we have an engine that's going at too high a pitch and that we shouldn't expect that of other people?

I look at poor Gary Haftart sometimes and I feel like I'm bowling him over like a fucking steamroller. And I don't feel like my engine's revved up. I could rev it up to a much higher pitch. Here's what I understand. I hope not in a sexual... That too. Okay. Here's what I'm saying. What happens, and I've seen it happen with you, you've seen it happen with me because of the amount of time we've known each other. As you start doing these projects, as you

start knocking these things off, as you start modifying your race trailer to fit two cars and building your own studio, all of a sudden you realize, oh, this can be done. This is attainable. So there's an excitement and a vitality that comes with each thing? There's a couple elements. There's a certain intoxication that comes with, oh my goodness, now I want to do this, that, and the other thing.

See, you know. Is that greed? A little bit. I mean, you know, there's healthy versions of it. There's unhealthy versions of it. There's unhealthy versions of it. There's, you know, my mom has been working on moving into her now dead mom's house for the last 15 years, you know, basically.

Let's get the old lady to croak and then let's move into her house. They've been remodeling this house. They're now on, you know, year number two of something that would have taken me about five months and Every time I talked or though I stopped bringing it up asking when you're gonna move into the new house It's like well. It's a very you know there's a lot of and I realized okay She is taking this This appetizer and turned it into a 10 course meal.

She's taking this task and you see people all the time. It happens all the time. I've had it happen a million times where it's like, Ray, your trucks parked out my driveway, I want it moved.. Yeah man well it's not that easy because I want it moved you know I want it moved then it gets moved then eventually I say after nine months of move the truck I say here's the date I've called the towing company

I've called the you know place where you donate your car your truck your, and they're going to come pick it up Monday. So it's Thursday. So do whatever you want. They're coming Monday. All of a sudden now, there's some movement. Now he-

You're an asshole. Well, I'm an asshole, and there's some movement. Now what's he do? Well, he squirts a little gas in the carb and he fires it up and he gets it somewhere else, which he could have done the first day I'd asked him to do it, but he chose not to do it. Then he drags the car off to a dirt lot by his house and parks the truck in a dirt lot behind the thing. Now I say, hey, at the time, 46 year old Ray, you're not going to use this truck. You know how I know you're not going to use this truck? Because been sitting here for

two years and not using it. You know, I'm going to fix it up. I'm going to get it to go. I'm going to get it going. Maybe I'll sell it. Maybe I'll use it. And I say, no, you're not. I know because I see what you're doing. Yeah. No, no, so he drags it over to the dirt lot and it then sits in the dirt lot, just sort of decaying outdoors in this dirt lot for the next five years, four or five years.

And then one day I come around the corner to my warehouse that's parked in the parking lot of my other warehouse he's dragged it over to that warehouse you laugh you don't understand where I come from right I mean Drew this is this is standard operating procedure from where I come from yes so then he drags it over there then it sits sits over there. Then another argument ensues. What's it doing here? I mean, it's out of here Monday. I got a guy interested in buying, you know, five Mondays goes by.

Another argument ensues. Now what's Ray got into this fucking truck? What's in it for him? Eventually, I think he just had the thing scrapped. How much was tied up into it? And now when you tell Ray, hey, build me a studio, how tall order is that? He does. He's never, he's not built those muscles.

You have to build the muscles. Now, as far as you and I being obnoxious. But over, is it overbearing or whatever that is? Yes. Well, we're hanging around with the wrong people. But over is it over pairing or whatever that is? Yes well We're hanging around the wrong people if you hung around with Richard Branson and Madonna, they'd be yelling at you Hey, you lazy sack of shit. Why aren't you running in place while you're eating trail mix like You're like well talking on the phone to my manager to be like well run in place

Or do something yeah, you know, that's that's what it is Like why why have you not built the treadmill into your car? so you could exercise while you're on the 405 like Now you want to hang around a bunch of dudes I went to high school with you're gonna seem like the obnoxious dreidel that is spinning a million miles an hour I like again, I'm sure if you hung out with Richard Branson and Or Madonna then you would not be the fast dreidel because he'd be talking about space exploration while he was buying

a fleet of aircraft while he was okaying some logos and some designs for the plates that were going on the aircraft. You would seem like the lazy one because all you did was two TV shows that is it is it a kind of mania it is yeah it's it's because I've been around those guys and it is whoo it's it's whoo they're talking about hang gliding with a time a rock climbing with a time but they're their hedge fund while they're inventing a new DNA probe but like well you have this thing where you go, first off, some of it is mortality. You go, hey man, I'm done with more than half of my life.

I've passed the halfway point. And by the way, I ain't going to get much done in the last 10 years of my life so what do I got I got a little window here 15 years 10 years 20 years you know what do we got that's if things go smoothly yeah you know so what's our window to stack those cars in the race trailer what's our window to build the studio so you have sped it up I have sped it up and the question is Who are you around and how are you affecting them now? My thing is I this is an attack on you Gary. This is hacking you know, well Chris to you're in there too How what is the compromise and where's where is it realistic?

I would argue right say I would argue Gary's is a very hard working guy and a healthy guy. And so when I see him going, I think, oh shit, I'm manic. Well, yeah, you push harder than most. Now, we don't, as a society, normally we have a love-hate relationship with people like you, but normally it's rewarded through, hey, look at this guy. He's working every weekend. That's a good thing. Look at him.

And you're financially rewarded for doing what you do as well. But there is a thing, again, it crosses into an unhealthy. let's look at fitness yeah fitness is a good thing but at a certain point it can cross over it can get beyond exercise bulimia yeah you can spend four hours a day in the gym that's probably three hours too much you know depending on what you're trying to accomplish look Look, if you're going for Mr. Universe, that's one thing. But for most people, you can cross it over and you can do it with religion. You know, religion's a good thing. You go to church on Sunday, you bring your family,

what have you, it's good. You can impart that to your kids, fine. But then you head on down to Fairfax District and you see the guys walking around dressed in black and they can't work all day and they're down at the synagogue all day. And it's like at a certain point, the beards down to here and unplug everything on a on Friday night. And it's like, all right, maybe this is you remember going, it's hard to do the rock climbing with that kind of beard You know what I mean? Like now you're getting into too much too much of that. So is religion Bad. No is exercise bad. No

You going berserk with it is bad. Yeah And it's gonna take a lot when it comes to work ethic before you know society says whoa Slow it down, but there is that point when you go whoa slow it down now what happened to us is What happened to me? Personally and why I'm drunk on this stuff and a little Slightly obnoxious on this stuff and a little slightly obnoxious. On what stuff? Work? Projects, things like that.

Just magria. What makes me difficult to live with is I come from people doing nothing, including myself. Just all day, everything is way, you know, please, we could get in the car. Every time we start the car, it costs money. It's not just about gas. It's about oil, fan belts, vulcanized rubber, the tires. People like literally sitting around looking at a pile of dirty clothes sitting on a sofa for a year and not moving it, not being able to do anything about it with roommates, with people.

I mean, every roommate I had, every fucking person I grew up in the valley, which just couldn't fucking get their shit together, just like literally had roommates where I had my roommate, John, you know, we lived in a 900 square foot house. He put a whole bunch of furniture that he was like storing for somebody in the entry hall, you know, and it's like you'd walk in to open the front door you trip over all the piles of furniture and I'd say hey John what are we gonna do with this I got it I'm gonna handle it you know three months go by nothing six months I said John well what do you want to do with this I'm bringing over to my sister's my dad's house and put in the garage I said

good do you have a truck I have a truck let. No, no, no, no, not this weekend You know, that's hoarding notice her important Anyway, the point is this I grew up amongst these people where I would say look You like you grew up on a plant, you know, no, I would fucking have to say I'd have to say the people I grew amongst the people I have to say to people all time okay let's pick a date if this weekend isn't good for you let's pick a date let's say is next Saturday good for you okay if it is then I will help you and we will both load up our trucks and we'll make a trip over to

your dad's house who's in you know not six miles from here maybe four and we will both load up our trucks and we'll make a trip over to your dad's house who's in, you know, not six miles from here, maybe four, and we'll drop it off and I'll help you. Can we make a date?" And they got a lot of like, hey man, I don't know, we'll talk about it on Wednesday. You know, my whole fucking life is these people and this shit. And I, at a certain point went, well fuck this. A, I'm not hanging around with these people anymore because I'm tired of tripping over their shit.

More importantly, I'm tired of their shitty attitude. Put them in your race trailer. And then, These people. Wrong color, sadly. And I said, fuck it, I'm getting on with my shit. And then I went and got on with my shit. Now I have these people come at me periodically,

hey, I need a little help with the down payment and property I'm looking at. These people are just right. These people. But I said, look, I'm getting on with it. And so what I did is I got on with it. And the first thing I did is I busted myself down. You got on with it, you gotta get it on.

I did both. I broke myself down. Said, I start kicking my own ass. I know you love that Academically, you love when people kick their own ass academically. Yeah, I started doing it Spiritually and almost physically get your shit together go start Don't look at that was easy that coffee mug that's been rolling around the passenger floor your truck Go fucking get it right now go put it in the sink, go clean it out right now. And then he'd go, well, I'll get it next time I go out to the... No, no, no, no.

Now. Just go get it. I start training myself on everything. Start taking care of business. Start handling your business. Was there a moment when there was a turning point like that? No, there's never a moment. It's like saying in a way... You could have even have a hit a bottom and have a moment

of change and go... Oh, I hit a bottom and have a moment of change. Oh, I was turning 30 and had a bunch of roommates and no air conditioning. Was there a moment like you had a conversation? Well. You remember sitting at a table somewhere and pow, like I got to, this is the time. No, I remember going, no, that's the whole, no, no moments. And I don't want to focus on moments forever No, I know but some but sometimes now but to change behavior. That's often moments of change

Well, yeah, there's I got into a horrible car accident and I was spent six months on my back and was staring at the ceiling I realized that you know in the hospital room. No. No what I'm saying to everybody is no moments get to fucking work every moment is a moment just Every moment is a moment Start pushing forward every day and once you start doing that Then everything becomes easy. Like I said, look, whether it's building, whether it's real estate, whether it's race trailers, whatever the fuck it is, people say, how do you do this?

Start doing it. Start doing it. Start doing everything. Exercise that muscle. First thing you need to do, work that muscle and no one's going to work it for you. And if somebody next to you is going, hey, how come this furniture is still in this living room six months on? We talked about this in April.

Make a moment, a moment. And it's August now. Do not say, why are you being an asshole? Go find a fucking mirror, go have a moment, and then make that, clear that fucking furniture out. Make that moment a moment, and clear that fucking furniture out. First thing we gotta do, take a break.

All right, that'll be our moment. Take a moment, we'll be right back. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Yeah, just talking about how obnoxious Drew and I are. Yeah, Gary confirmed, by the way. Well, Drew, you get a little... Now, I get it from my wife, but I must say, Lynette takes care of business now. Is she...

She did not take care of business before, and she does take care of business now, and it's... not take care of business before and she does take care of business now and she understands. It's not rocket science. It's like, here's what you do. Go do this. Go find out that. Let's do this. And she does it.

It used to be a big discussion and argument and it was a whining and I couldn't. And now it's just like, let's do it. Does she reflect upon that change? Is she aware of it and Can she discuss what that was? Does she value it? Does she aware that it's an improvement? Or she just like, oh, I got to live with that. That's why I do this.

No, she realizes that she wants to get things done. The thing that's interesting is the person does want the furniture out of the entry hall. They do want it. They just don't know, they don't have the tools, sadly, to do it. Usually, you argue that- And they tell the person who tells them to do it to fuck off. Yeah, but you usually argue, see, it's interesting that you would adopt that point of view because usually you argue that, oh, no, no, it's the lacking motivation to do it. Their action tells me everything about

their motivation. Yeah. Therefore, they really don't want to act on. Well, I do believe in that when it comes to everything. True. No, I'll, no, I'll, no, here's what I'm saying. How dare you? Here's what I'm saying. How dare you? Here's what I'm saying. How dare you? How dare you for bringing up a very good point. And I will now provide a rebuttal. No, when you see the 47 year old bachelor dude. Yes. Who's banging the endless, endless hopper

of 25 year old hostesses. Still John. The dude. No. But when you see that dude and he looks at you and he goes, oh man, you're married man. Oh yeah. So envious man. Right, right.

Really? Because you're balls deep and a hooters girl last night. She's 24. Right. Yeah, I'm so envious. You with the kids and the family, man. I wish I could, I really wish I could do it. And you think, well, you're 47, you're nice looking, you have a good career. If you wanted to be married, I think you'd be married. But I don't think you want to

take care of a family. I don't think you want the responsibility of children. And I think you like the idea of banging a new Hooters girl every other month. So you're saying you'd like to be married, you'd like to settle down, you envy me and my family and I'm crying, I'm calling you bullshit on that because you would. Now maybe you say, yeah, okay, everyone says I like kids or whatever, but if you wanted this good looking guy with a nice career, it'd be easy enough to marry someone who's age appropriate, have yourself a couple kids. You do not want that. When I say to Ray, I want your car out of here, or John, I want your fucking furniture

out of this entry, and I can snap my fingers and it'll be gone, they would agree to that. The guy who says he envies me and my marriage and the kids and stuff, I said, okay, I'll snap my finger. I got a 45-year-old woman in here and three kids. You ready? He would have a change your pocket. Slow down. I'm going to bang a couple of Hooters chicks and think about this one. Wait a minute. I thought you said you envy this and you wanted this. Not so fast. That guy would say not so fast. Ray, car gone. Yeah, he would do it. So they do oftentimes want what you want or want what they want. They just don't have the muscle memory, the repetition, that motor.

We'll have to call it the genie postulate or something. You know, if you had a dream of a genie, it could come and blink her eyes. Right. If that applies, that's sort of the test. That's the acid test for is it motivation or is it ability to carry out an action. Right. Interesting. Right.

And for the most part, they would like the lawn mowed. They would like the junked car off of the thing. They would like that. But they want to deal with what it's going to take to mow that lawn. It's hot outside. I bet there are other, this is going to bore the hell out of everybody, but I bet we'll find other corollaries to mowing the lawn. You've always not taken into account ancillary circumstances. You've always boiled it down to what's the motivation.

Yeah, all right. And there are... There are ancillary things, but what I'm saying is start mowing the lawn. That'll be the best way. All right. And then... Don't disagree. The next thing that comes up, that'll be that much easier because you got a little bit stronger pushing that mower across the lawn. I wonder though, because that's you and I, I wonder if other people get a little less

motivated. It's like, oh shit, I mowed the lawn. That's enough. No. Because we would never... We would have the muscle going. No. Because here's the deal, and this is the part of that. The more you do, the more you're due. You know what I mean?

Absolutely. Yeah, but I'm not sure everyone is built that way. I'm not sure. I don't know, but Lynette takes care of business now. Right. And she exercised the muscles, realized she had it in her, and realized that this stuff ... But by the way, it wasn't that difficult, and it was good. And also, you want to raise your kids around that. Mama, mama, and daddy are taking care of business.

John, 25. John, did we lose you? There he is. Chandler, Arizona. Hey, John, what's up? He's asleep. He's engaged. shot john we lose you areas chandler arizona they don't have he said some gays

yeah sorry to get by no i don't know where uh... uh... market so my question is i have a fiance and her family kind of has uh... a lot of issue with mental illness.

What kind? Her cousin last August, no October. That's a huge difference. By the way, I like when you say what kind of mental illness and the people do they. Last August, no wait, October. Maybe he didn't hear me. I'm just assuming. I'm assuming he didn't. The reason he didn't hear me. I'm just assuming. I'm assuming he didn't.

The reason he didn't hear you is because he's talking. What kind of mental illness, John? Well, her cousin had schizophrenia. Okay. And so he killed himself last October. Her aunt had bipolar and her sister had bipolar. Hold on a second. So the aunt who had the son with schizophrenia had bipolar?

Is that correct? No, that was her sister. Aunt. And that aunt is related to this girl how? I'm sorry. I'll just explain it again. No I heard you. I want to know what is the relation.

The aunt is the relation? The aunt is who's sister? The aunt is the sister of the mother of the schizophrenic. I'm trying to figure out the relationship to your wife, your girl. I don't know the biological relationship to your girlfriend. Okay, so the schizophrenic was my girlfriend's, my fiance's cousin. Oh, God. We're not going to get it. They shared it. They had two aunts. They were sisters.

The mother of the schizophrenic was fine, but the other sister had bipolar. I understand. And the aunt with bipolar is what relation, this is not a trick question, the aunt with bipolar is what relation to your girlfriend? She must be either... Her aunt. Oh, Jesus. An aunt is a sibling of a parent.

Which parent is that aunt related to? Oh, I'm sorry, the mother. That is your girlfriend's mother's sister has bipolar, correct? Yes. Not related by marriage, biologically related. Yes. Fine. That only took 22 minutes.

Okay. The mother of your girlfriend who is related to the aunt biologically, does she have any mental illness? No. Does your girlfriend have any mental illness? No. Don't worry about it. Then you're good. No. Does your girlfriend have any mental illness? No. Don't worry about it.

Then you're good. I wonder if you fell off that ladder. I like when people don't know what you're going for or what you're talking about, which is funny. I did think it was funny. I did. I didn't think it was funny. I was at my I was at my daughter's school last week and the teacher. Two things went to Starbucks and had a big Starbucks Frappuccino with like a well, a teacher at a nose stud. Number one. Imagine that growing up. Teacher's got a nose stud and go-go boots and everything. But she also had a Frappuccino with the high lid dome on it and the dome lid and the copious

amounts of whipped cream. She was drinking a milkshake. It was just sitting on top of her desk. I thought, it would have been weird for me because my first grade teacher had a milkshake on it. Crazy. It would've been weird for me, because my first grade teacher had a milkshake on it. It went crazy. I wouldn't, anyway. But then I said to my wife, I said, not only that, first name scrawled across the cup and

turned out toward the kids. And I said, there's one. I mean, kids, first name, teachers, first grade teacher, first name, turned out toward the kids. And Lynette said, yeah, Starbucks, they write your name on the cup. And I said, that's not the point. I understood. That is not what I'm going for here.

Now it's funny because I have a lot of those conversations with people like you're not doing some sort of family tree poster that you're making. You're trying to get some correlation between hereditary. I'm just double checking the biology here. You're trying to check the corollary and the biology and so why would you be asking anything other than is there a direct, you know, by marriage versus by blood? Well, how close is the consanguinity?

How close is this? How deeply involved is this with the genetics? But the point is, is he doesn't know what you're asking and why you're asking it even though he's posed the question. I don't get that. I don't get it when people pose the question and don't know what you're talking about. Find that interesting. Anyway.

Maybe that's why he had to pose the question. That's a good point. You might have to figure that out yourself. That's a decent point. All right. Will, 23, Chicago. Hey, Will. Hey, guys.

Hey, guys. First time listener, longtime caller, I had a question about the increased awareness of mental illness. Yeah. So on the one hand, lazy people sitting around being depressed today is not a good thing. But on the other hand, there were people back in the Industrial Revolution that were really depressed and it was debilitating. So I'm kind of curious about what you think the happy medium is here today. Oh, let's do a whole show on this.

What do you mean it was really depressed? Here's what he's saying. Here's what he's saying. No, listen, I know what he's talking about. He's saying, are we over-medicalizing social problems? Yes. In other words, people felt shitty throughout human history. Of course.

Probably had a lot of depression. Now we're giving it a name and a treatment and we're medicalizing it and saying, no, no, we should make these people better and therefore it's not a social problem. They'll be able to engage in the workforce better and be happier and more meaningful, blah, blah, blah. And let me just give you my top-level, top-door blush with this, which is, A, I don't think we're over-diagnosing depression. I think we're identifying it properly.

I think we're treating it improperly. I think having primary care people dole out antidepressants like crazy is a horrible mistake. These guys are... I was a primary care guy who happened to have spent 20 years in a psychiatric hospital working, not as a patient, working. And I know what psychiatrist, no, I know enough not to do that, not even to start, because you don't have that training. About 80% of the antidepressants in this country are prescribed by primary care people who don't know what the F they're doing. Believe me, they have almost zero training in this. Now, they have some experience doing it,

but it's a haphazard. Be that as it may. So that's one of the problems. Other mental illnesses, yeah, we pathologize maleness and ADD, and we're overdiagnosing stimulants, overprescribing stimulus. There's a lot of overdoing of this. Well, I worry about the labels because there's not a day that I get out of bed that I don't wish I had another hour to sleep. Then I get up and I'm like, oh, right, here we go. What do we got going? Now if somebody said to me, I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, then I would get up out of bed and I'd go, oh,

wait a minute. That's kicking in. Not having a good day with that. Better get back in bed. That I worry about. I never want to be diagnosed with anything. I don't know that I have anything and I just go, fuck it, get going. I would argue also if we, let's just take depression again as the model. If I get up in the morning and feel, oh, my mood's off, I feel depressed, I better get on some meds as opposed to, I better get moving and change my life and engage in things that'll make me more satisfied. I better move the fucking furniture out of the entrance hall of life. Move the furniture out of the, that's right.

That's, wait, wait, wait. You want to cure your depression? Say it again. Go. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. moving and doing something. I've been depressed. I've been very depressed. And you were moving, you were getting up and going to work and stuff, you were still depressed. Oh, I was... oh no no. Come on now, something that's excruciating when that happens. No, I've had moments of excruciating depression and I've hated every second of it and every second of my job. But I must say, while I was out on that fire balcony and we had two men on each balcony

and we had to pass up 150 sheets of plywood to the roof of this five-story building by literally handing them up one at a time, my back hurt. I was sweating, but I wasn't really depressed during that point. I was waiting for my next sheet of plywood to hoist it above my head. I wouldn't call myself happy. I've been depressed and tried to work it's hard. Oh no, I've done it. I've listened.

I've done it. And by the way, I'm resentful that I wasn't put on medication back when I was suffering with depression. That was awful. I'm not saying don't treat it. I'm just saying we overdoing certain stuff. Okay. All right, junior uh... all right jimmy and you have a better phone you can use that

really people what is that with people there is a little bit about that but that was driving to be fair not that much anyway well basically uh... about that, I'm just driving. To be fair, not that much. I understand. All right. Anyway. Go ahead. Well, basically... Basically.

I'm just kind of curious... That word just entered the lexicon. Hang on a second, Gene. ... prediction and abuse, if there is a difference or if they're wanting to say... All right, hold on. So I'll answer in a second. The word basically has become the opening volley of every sentence for every Californian. Yeah.

Well, basically... And it started as a Mexican thing. Well, basically, you know, and now everybody has adopted basically as their opening beat. That is a weird thing. Yeah. It's so funny. Well, Californians, it's particularly Californians. Basically, it gives you a chance to think. I guess. That's like well or um. Okay, here's the deal. Very simple. Very simple, Junior. A, do I have a genetic heritage of alcoholism or addiction?

B, is there progression in the face of consequence? Have I had some health problems? Have I had some legal stuff? Have I had some relationships break up? Have I had worker school problems, legal issues, and any degree of denial, which minimization, rationalization, which I could already tell you're in. So you've got denial.

I don't know if you have genetic heritage. I don't know if you've had consequences, but you don't have to be using it a lot. You don't have to be using it every day. You just have to meet those criteria, and you are in. Okay? Right. All right. Good luck. All right. Hey, Melinda? Hello. 38? What's going on?

I've got two little kids, a two-year-old and an eight-month-old. And with the first pregnancy, I thought I just had a horrible postpartum and was miserably married. But when the second one popped up, I started at five grand mal seizures in two nights. And it turns out I have partial focal seizures, and the pregnancy triggered the grand mal. Okay. What's a grand mal seizure? Grand mal is a generalized seizure where you actually go unconscious and your whole body shakes. Focal, what she's talking about, she's talking about partial complex seizures, which means

like what they used to call absence, where you just sort of see these repetitive motions and you're just sort of not there. Were seizures invented in France? You know, a lot of neurological stuff was neurologists in France at the turn of the century. The intracere. Charcot and all that. I had a neurology professor who used to say, whenever they ask you the history, just say, famous neurologist, and whatever the disease was named after, Charcot-Marie-Tooth, whatever it is, these are all Frenchmen. Just say Frenchmen and turn to the center.

So we know what grand means. What's mal mean? Bad. Sick. Very sick. Grand is big. Big sick. Big sick seizure.

Mal, bad, bad. I get you. All right. So the question is what? Big bad seizure. Well, my husband left when I started having the seizures because I was a little born, and he wanted to deal with. And I own my own house, so I've got a little bit of a leg to stand on.

It wasn't his house. But I'm up in the mountains. I have no driver's license, obviously. They take your driver's license when you have seizures. The grandma and I had another one three months ago so now I'm out for another three three months to a year with a driver's license so I'm basically trying not to do what Adam always says and be a huge bummer because I'm here taking all these different medications I've never taken any medication before. It made me feel instantly 20 years older knowing I had to take something daily

for the rest of my life. I had a catering business up here and I cook food. I have a little off-site little kitchen that used to be a barn and so I cook food and deliver nightly dinners but obviously I can't even do that right now with the baby with the seizures with the driver's license and I'm just kind of falling apart. Mm-hmm. So first off this guy leaving. Yeah that's the part that got me. And you know I mean he showed his true colors. It's not a delight. How about he helps out a little bit? Just until the baby. He doesn't help out. You know I thought maybe he got an old nest to get past a few things.

He was raised in foster care. I think he has a reactive attachment disorder and there's just nothing I can do to get around it. I'm sure he does. Also, he's got every man for himself. I think when you're raised in that every man for themselves, environments like being raised in a sinking ship, you it's just you're just running but she's making a specific point is that you also they lack empathy they like to believe to care about that's

what I'm saying every man for themselves and so he's gonna be a bus now legally legally he shouldn't be a bus hold him hand legally he should be able to kick over you know a few hundred bucks a month. Oh yeah, I've got a child support order in effect. He left when I was having one of the seizures. He just figured it would be easier to get out that way. Well listen, Melinda, hold on. He's a dick, but you thought it would be a good idea to start a family with this guy? Unfortunately, no. Well, you thought it would be a good idea to marry this guy.

And to have a second child with him. I wasn't planning on, obviously that goes without being said, I wasn't planning on having children. He works, you know, he has a good job. I wanted, I worked 80 hours a week most of the time. Hang on, hang on. You were attracted to this guy. You were attracted to this guy.

I was attracted to the idea of running around. I wanted somebody to go travel with, to go do things with. You picked a fucking world class loser. I did. And I'm hoping that's due to the seizures. I'm going to hope I can blame it on something other than I have quite a bit of common sense. No, you're very smart, but that doesn't mean you have normal attractions. No, I'm sure I don't. You should not trust your attractions because they clearly steer you wrong. Also, you seem to have some judgment issues. As Adam said, not only marry him but have two kids, not one, two kids with him.

Those didn't just happen magically. You participated in that. All right. So something going on with you, be careful. You're very bright, I can tell, and you're very ambitious. God bless you. I think you're going to be fine, but you've got to get through this time. Yes. you're going to be fine but you got to get through this time. Yes and look bullet dodged with this horrible ne'er-do-well and it's what you call tough

time. You have medical condition, you have young kids, I mean the business, I mean it's tough time it's a storm and it needs to be weathered and you have to do you're not in hey let's go on a sunshiny cruise mode. You're going on There's a 30-foot swell coming our way mode Which is batten down the hatches and do all the work turn on the bilge pumps and do all the work in life Because we all have those moments of hey, let's enjoy the cruise and the beautiful sunset And then there's it's a storm storm warning you're in storm mode

that's fine you don't live in storm mode the storms blow blow through sometimes unfortunately that lasts a little longer but they do blow through your special and she resilient she's she's got grit yeah you got she's got what you hope for you will you will weather this. You do it with exercise. You do it by throwing yourself into being the best mom you can be. You be practical about it. And by the way, wouldn't you agree she should be accessing resources? You know, yes.

This is who you want to be. And this is where friends and family kick in as well, you know, where you're using your friends and your support system that everyone should have theoretically built up at this point in their lives to help in these cases. This is one of the other things I've discussed many times. Everyone looks at the government at this point. Well, we don't even have marriages anymore. We don't have families. So who's going to kick in? Government. There was a time when communities, churches, family would come together and help people. We're better now.

We've developed systems that are giant, way more efficient. Right. But the point is, a good friend, a fellow church member, or what have you, could drive you, could take turns driving you in so you could keep your catering business alive. All right. Well, there we go. We'll let the big government handle it I want to thank you guys for listening if you want to help out subscribe via the PayPal button

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