THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.252 - GUZ KHAN (LIVE)

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Adam talks with British comedian, actor, and writer Guz Khan about parenthood, accents, languages, chatting shit and getting banged, how older Asian men respond when a prankster moans in their ears, and Guz demonstrates a dramatic strategy for getting Adam on Taskmaster.CONTAINS VERY STRONG LANGUAGEConversation recorded live at Manchester's Albert Hall on 7th June, 2024Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell and Becca Bryers for additional editing.Thanks to our crew in Manchester, especially Dan, Liam and Katie, Ben and Richard. Podcast illustration by Helen GreenOrder Adam's book 'I Love You Byeee' PICS AND RELATED LINKS (ON ADAM'S WEBSITE) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening I took my microphone and found some human folk Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan! Hey, how are you doing, Podcats? It's Adam Buxton here. Thank you so much for joining me once again out here on a Norfolk farm track at the end of June 2025.

I'm here with Rosie, she's my best dog friend. She came out fairly happily today, didn't you doglegs? Define happily. Well, I mean without a great deal of resistance. Come on, you love being out here. At least it's not quite so hot today. Yesterday it was blazing squad, today it's mow cloudy. Earlier today it was a little bit damp and there was a sudden plague of

little insects. I'm not sure exactly what they were. Midge's maybe but they weren't biting and there was just clouds of them all around the castle. One moment there was just a few gangs goofing around in the garden. The next moment the air was thick with them. I made some tea and walked across to my nutty room and by the time I'd got to the door I was covered in the things. There was about eight of them in my tea. The spider's webs all around the barns were thick with them like trawler's nets. The spiders are

going to be feasting for weeks. Anyway let me tell you a bit about this podcast. It's number 252 which features a rambling conversation with friend of the podcast Gus Kahn. This will be his with friend of the podcast, Guz Khan. This will be his third appearance on the podcast. Some brief Guz facts for you, just to remind you. Born in 1986, Guz and his siblings were brought up in Coventry by their Pakistani immigrant mother following the death of her husband when Gus was just three. Gus attended Coventry University where he studied criminology, then spent a few years working as a teacher before making a series of viral videos that brought

him to the attention of the BBC. In 2017 he made the first series of his sitcom Man Like Mobine, the show that would catapult him into the centre stage of TV, film and stand-up comedy, all of which he has pursued in various forms since. Series 5 of Man Like Mobine landed earlier this year, 2025, and Guz has intimated that it will be the last although he has intimated that with previous series as I recall. Now we're going this way Rosie. Doglegs I don't really want to go that way I would prefer to go the way that goes back to the sofa. They're not gonna be long don't worry I'm just gonna do this intro and

then the outro and then we'll go back. The conversation you're about to hear with Gus was recorded on my 55th birthday on the 7th of June 2024 in front of a thousand strong live audience at Manchester's Albert Hall. That was part of the podcast tour that I did last year. And we spoke about home life in the Khan household. Gus filled me in on how his kids were doing, including the struggles he and his wife Dino have been having with one child who was determined not to go to school. Incidentally the phrase I was reaching for but didn't recall on stage was school refusal. In other words something

that goes beyond just not liking school and playing truant but is more like acute anxiety that leaves a child very upset when it's time to go to school and there could be a variety of reasons for that. There's a link to a bit of an info blog I don't know how useful it is but just in case that's something you're dealing with with your children, link in the description. I mean if it's a big problem you probably would have googled it yourself wouldn't you? But you know, it's trying to be helpful. As well as parenthood chat, Gus told me about how excited he is to be installing Dorma windows.

That's a window that projects vertically from a sloping roof. I suppose I'd known them by the brand name Velux. Anyway, we didn't talk too long about Dorma windows. We moved on to dealing with conflict online and in the real world, with brief reference to Gus's adversarial interactions with far-right anti-Islam activist Tommy Robinson. And I told Guz about what were then my dreams of being on the Great British Bake Off, and I played him a song that I'd made to woo the Bake Off producers.

It was accompanied by some AI-generated images of me baking pies for various celebrities. You'll find a link to the video in the description of today's podcast. Anyway, as you may know, I did make it onto Bake Off earlier this year for Stand Up to Cancer, but Guz also presented me on stage with a strategy that, as you will hear, might well have brought me one step closer to my other TV dream of appearing on Taskmaster. It was a strategy that I wasn't a hundred percent comfortable with, but it was funny and if anyone can take the discomfort out of a situation it's Gus Kahn. I'll be back at the end to say goodbye, but after the Ramble Chat jingle, we will travel back

to Friday night in Manchester June 7th 2024 with me in front of a sold out crowd who had just enjoyed 10 minutes of very funny and probably now totally redundant material about AI that I had showed them, and they were just about to find out who my guest for that night was going to be, because they didn't know when they bought their tickets. Little did they know what was in store for them. As they discovered, part of that involved strong accents and very strong language throughout the evening, so be warned. Here we go! RamblChat, let's have a RamblChat We'll focus first on this, then concentrate on that

Come on, let's chew the fat and have a RamblChat Put on your conversation coat and find your talking hat La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Please welcome the creator of man like Moby. Actor, stand up comedian, it's Gulam Dosteghir Gus Khan. You lot are noisy innit, my god! Did I do the pronunciation right? I chickened out on gulam. What was it again? It was... No, I found you shitting yourself a little bit when you were doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because No, I found you shooting yourself a little bit when you were doing it.

Because remember what I told you backstage? I said put as much sauce on it as you can. And you remember in the last podcast as well, you were a little bit worried about putting sauce on certain words. Well, it's not called... It's generally considered for white guys to put sauce on words and names. It's gone out of fashion recently. No one's more upset about it than I am because I love accents but Goulam.

Yeah, so like the thing is, just as a little caveat bro, if you were to meet an uncle in the street, right, and for some reason you had his driving license in your hand, okay? Yeah, if you did his name and said his name to him without the source on it, he'd be more offended Than you put in all the source on it. Okay, so if you said oh Bhagwan Singh yeah, he'd be like why the fuck are you saying my name like this? I don't understand If you read his name and said Bhagwan Singh, he would say, I like you white man, I like you. Source always. Bhagwan Singh? See? Yes. Yeah, yeah, okay. But it's getting the right source though, isn't it? I wouldn't do that. Goulam.

Yeah, that's good. Goulam, an Arabic word which means young and handsome servant in paradise. Is that what that means? Apparently. Apparently that's what that means. I don't know. just googled it. It's a weird name on reflection. Do you miss it though?

I mean, do you feel obliged to use guz just because it's less of a mouthful or...? I'll be honest with you, only ever like... heads of year, when I was at school, used the name, and then the police, that's it. When I was at school, used the name, and then the police, that's it. Not one house. Not even my mother. That's not even my name in the house. I've got a whole different name in the house. What's your name in the house?

Jav. Jav, yeah? Where did you get that one? Who fucking knows? We don't know. We don't ask these questions. What's that got to do with anything? Did you ever show prowess for the javelin at some stage? No, my fat ass never showed no prowess for none of these sports. But I don't know, like Guz was always like, that's the West Midlands name. That was in primary school what they shortened Goularn from too.

And even my teachers used to say teachers to say cuz come here you prick How's the family really good really good have some news for you, oh, yeah, we are welcoming baby number five no way Wow, whoa, nobody expected this child nobody child. That's the point I want to say. Brother Box, I'm in a really weird zone as well because when it gets to that level of children, that number of kids, people are thinking like, oh, is this like some kind of faith-based thing? Because more than four kids is like faith-based numbers. And I'm like, nah, it's just accidents bro. It's just one pump more than should have been pumped and then that's... I'm fucked man.

Sounds like you're not the only one. It's too much kids man. So this means you are, whether you like it or not, locked into the showbiz life for the foreseeable future. That or just back into the drugs. Like it's still, it's possible but it's really a lot of kids. I mean two is fine. When we, after we had two, I was like, that's fine.

That's enough. You know what my uncle said? The news broke, the news broke. He let everyone else leave the room and just very quietly he looked at me and said, you like sex, innit? Well, listen, it's still happy news. I can't think of a nicer family to grow up in

than that of Yourself and your wife Dino. Oh my god. I mean you're nice parents, right? like Now we're way more We're way more encouraging Than it was for us lot growing up. Yeah. Yeah, and I mean everybody I think I'm speaking on behalf of maybe all first-generation immigrants here in the majority. It wasn't like, oh you've got a dream, go and follow your dream. It was more like, you're a

dickhead. Don't be a dickhead. It's a very different, so I think we're better at telling the kids to be like, like yo do what you want to do But like when when when Dino has to step in and pattern the kids they get patterned Do you know what that? No, what's that? Like if they're basically if they're fucking about Their mom will step in and say boy Stop fucking about and I quite like it when she does that because I don't really see that side of her too much. That's why I'm on kid number five.

I'm attracted to weird stuff. Yeah, it's hot. But do you curse in front of the children? Yeah, I be cursing all the time. Do you? Yeah, fuck this, fuck that, fuck him. Tommy Robinson could suck my dick dick I say all kinds of stuff important message but yeah during is because here's something that used to

happen to us yeah our parents would swear profusely in Punjabi and Urdu but the moment we said like an English swear word it was like don't do this, this is very bad and the English swear word would be like ah shit, which is just like shit isn't it? Yeah. But in Punjabi and Urdu the levels of swears, the eloquence and filth of them is way above and beyond anything English has to offer which is like you know which means I'll jump in your mum's fanny with both feet So shit didn't seem that bad really. I haven't said that in front of the kids yet. Yeah shit doesn't seem nearly so bad.

And what about, I'm interested to know about the intellectual environment in the Khan household Are you speaking more than one language? Yeah, we are date So they hear Punjabi or do Dino's family speaks a dialect which is called me Puri Which is again very different. So there's like three straight off the bat there, right? But now my kids understand but they don't speak shit really which is quite disappointing to to me as a father Yeah them as their mother they get the piss taken out of them a lot. But I've got I've got two white Irish aunties who were born in Kilkenny and they married both my uncles Pakistani uncles and aunties who were born in Kilkenny and they married both my uncles Pakistani uncles and these white Irish aunties have a better command of Punjabi and Urdu than my kids which honestly is embarrassing for me and makes me say I

want to jump in your mom's fanny with both feet. Are they difficult languages do you think? I don't know I don't think so. Have you ever tried to learn another European language? No, never interested me. Never interested me. Like I think it's Punjabi is considered like a more I feel bad saying it because Punjabi is my first language But for example if you're an Urdu speaker or a Hindi speaker they reference Punjabi as quite a rough language I don't know if there's anybody in here who speaks Punjabi or Urdu but just one. Someone laughing at the very idea. Yeah you just consider a little bit rougher.

Yeah. But I think that's just because Punjabi people, people from Punjab are a little bit more hok and people who speak Urdu a little bit. But what I'm saying is, like, people who speak Punjabi are like labour supporters and Urdu speakers are fucking Tories, just Tories. It's what I'm trying to get to. Right, okay. Have you seen, there's a clip that my son showed me the other day from TikTok,

speaking of languages. This is a dad practicing Arabic with his three-year-old in the back of the car. Has anyone seen this one? There's a couple of you who have. So he's encouraging his three-year-old to do Arabic. It's just sort of reminds you, it kind of strips language back to its very essence. Because it used to be like when I remember being pretty young and you do sort of impressions of the way foreign languages sound. Of course. You know, like French is just... Rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r- sound of it. Exactly. But you've got to get those kids speaking the Punjabi and

the Urdu. That is a superpower. a foreign language is a superpower my mum was Chilean so when she... say again brother what you say what it was yeah she was from Chile so we grew up what did you think I said why are you living in the cold what the fuck's going on Chile? Why are you leaving MPI in the cold? What the fuck's going on? Chilling? She was chilling. She stopped speaking Spanish to us when we were little, her kids, because after she moved to the UK, like English people that she met said, oh you shouldn't speak in two languages to your kids, it'll confuse them. And she thought, oh okay, I better not then, I better just carry on speaking English. Now, England was like that?

Yeah, it's such a shame. So bro, you know your mum? Of course you know your mum. Yeah. Yeah? I remember her. Well, you know, she's from Chile, so your mum was, she's like, she had some sauce. Yeah, well my dad used to use the phrase,

a touch of the tar brush. Oh. Another phrase. Hey, fuck you, it's how it gets. Okay, they were in a loving relationship. So that's, I never knew that, you are a little bit, like Greek Cypriot, you got energy. You are a little bit like Greek Cypriot. You got energy. Yeah, it's the, yes, slight swarthiness. Is that an acceptable word still?

No, it's not really. It's all, it's all, what's the word on social media? It would be, well, just yikes, I suppose, as soon as you get into that area, it's all problematic. But yeah, he used to, my dad used to love the idea that my mom was exotic. If you ever met my mom, she looked like, I don't know if you ever saw a show called The Good Life, but she was very much like Penelope Keith in The Good Life, and she ended up just the most

posh white woman that you ever met in your life from England. You would never have known that she was from Chile. She assimilated hard. But yeah carry on with that language that is a superpower. Do your kids get on? Yeah like so the hierarchy is Sophia who's my daughter, my firstborn, the Do your kids get on? Yeah, like So the hierarchy is Sophia who's my daughter my firstborn the greatest thing that ever happened to me she is She's like because she's 13 and the boys are all still boys in it Yeah, but it quite they're quite they interact with each other like quite violently sometimes. Oh yeah. But because she's now a 13 year old young woman, like she's got to the stage where all her body kicks like incapacitate them.

So there's nothing, they can't wrestle back, they can't do anything back. So she's, we're going through that transition where she, what I'm saying, she's beating the fuck out of everybody right now in the house. And it's changed the dynamic at the house because now they don't even be they don't be chatting shit no more they used to chat the boys used to chat a lot of shit like yeah yeah yeah dickhead now when she comes in the room it's like yeah dickhead because they know the head kicks hit different now you know I mean so but I think they're very they're very defensive of each other so Wiggy and Ye who were the

two oldest boys Wiggy he's a more gentle soul yeah he's got ringworm one. Other two linked. Fucking around and guarding with mud so he's like a gentle guy. And Ye's like, Ye takes like jabs and hooks and like all that kind of stuff really seriously. He thinks he's really rizzy and something happened at school just a few weeks ago. And even though them two hadn't really, they weren't like getting on in the house, Wiggy came back and he said, our dad, yeah, he sorted out all the kids in my year for me. And I was like, yeah, that's good.

Ringworm, you're a lucky boy. Ringworm, you're a lucky boy. So I like the fact that without side of our supervision, they're all looking out for each other That's important to me. I'd rather they keep the shit out of each other in front of us and then out in the world Or to a bot unite or whatever How old are they now like what's the age spread Suffice 13 yay is 11 wiggy is 9

and that crazy little one is 3. He's a... can I say, I don't know if it's politically correct, I'd say he's a pussy. Why? Like, you know, he's getting dropped off to nursery at the moment, yeah, and all the kids are like, I want to stay at home because home's fun and we feel like, that's sick as a parent, like, oh yeah you do so, right? If the kid wants to nursery at the moment yeah and all the kids are like I want to stay at home because home's fun and we feel like that's sick as a parent like oh yeah you do so right if kid wants to stay home be chilling with you but he's like wailing and screaming and holding on to door handles at the moment and you know he said to his mom if you make me go today you're gonna hurt my heart forever you're gonna hurt my heart forever. Oh. Mate.

And to my wife, I'm like, you've done the right thing, we have to let him go. When he comes home from school, I'm like, your mum's a dickhead, bro, like that. I would have never done you like that. So he's really, he's really putting, he's sticking it on us right now. And I don't really know how to cope with this

because I'm the kind of dad where if I had to witness that three days on the bounce, I would cancel his schooling forever. Yeah, yeah. It's a thing that, there's a phrase for it. Does anyone know what the phrase is? It's something like school reluctance. I mean, it is something that you sort of think,

well, yeah, I think I had that. I didn't want to go to school. But for some people, it's a real problem, and they hate the idea It's traumatic for them and actually for some of those people they're best off not going you know there's other options I was talking to Katlyn Moran the other day the journalist she didn't get on with school So she did three weeks and then from then on it was just being educated by her parents Even though she admits that they didn't really do too much educating weeks and then from then on it was just being educated by her parents even though she admits that they didn't really do too much educating mainly they

just sort of watched movies and a lot of TV and she went to the library that was her thing she liked to read so she picked up a lot of what she needed to do herself but for some people school is not doesn't work you know did you like school no not really but I didn't mind it I like the social aspect but whenever I started a new school for the first year or so it was horrible and boarding school especially that was properly traumatic yeah and it was sprung on me like after Christmas you're gonna start at a boarding school. I was like, well, why do you hate me? I thought we were all getting on.

And now you're gonna fucking dump me in a boarding school. I mean, they may as well have just said, after Christmas we're going to shoot you in the back of the head. And it'll be fun, it'll be, you'll like it. It was, and it was fun But only because the trauma was so extreme of being dropped off at this place And it wasn't even like a terrible school really some people have really awful awful times whether there are a boarding school or not

You know, I'm not suggesting that it's just those kinds of schools where people have a terrible time. How about you? How did you get on? Yeah, good. I had... I had... No, it was good. It was sick and progressively as we got older, it got even sicker because it's like,

we had a year group where, especially when we got to year seven, by year nine, everybody in the school was like, fuck it, they're feral this lot. So there was like a different set of rules, nobody cared. When I was in primary school, just because I could see that was a little bit traumatic for you after Christmas when they told you fuck off, yeah?

Like, in primary school, I used to get a lot of stuff pinned on me and the punishment in primary school was that you'd have to go into, is it called a foyer? Uh-huh. And there was a clock on the wall, a massive clock, and if you'd know it, you had to stand facing the wall under the clock, and kids used to get sent there. There was nothing unfair about that.

But I remember when I would get in trouble, sometimes I'd get kicked out of my class in the first lesson, and I would get in trouble sometimes I'd get kicked out of my class in the first lesson and I would be stood facing the clock at home time Uh-huh, so they'd leave me there for the whole day and if it wasn't for my boys and hobba-bobba at break time and Sneaking me all kinds of pork scratches that shouldn't have been eating all kinds of shit Then me all kinds of pork scratches that I shouldn't have been eating all kinds of shit then then I wouldn't even had lunch but I would that's that's a very vivid memory for me Wow so that was shit yeah that was shit but then I did in the end

of year six I did break the main culprit's car window so I thought that's all right why did you break the window because she kept fucking standing me out there the dickhead broke her car window. Oh man, didn't you worry that that would escalate? No, no, not at all. Where we grew up, things like that are like, that's character building. If you've got a bottle to break a teacher's window in year six, you go in places. Like, it was, it's a good thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the podcast the first time you and I talked about parenthood and I think you were surprised by how kind of stressed by it I seemed. Your philosophy was like if they're still alive at the end of the day jobs are good. I think fundamentally yeah. Yeah and then you have to worry about what kind of people they turn into and you have to worry about the extent to which you are responsible for the kind of people they turn into. Do you think that you and your wife will be fairly hands-off about that and just let them turn into the people they want to be or

are you going to be laying down the law and if so what will that be like considering your waywardness in your own youth? No because being a hypocrite is a really good thing as a parent I think. You have to do it, sometimes you have to do it, you know what I mean? Obviously, I'm traversing this thing where, obviously, like, you know, they're not mates, but like old acquaintances will just ball in when we're having a haircut or whatever, and then they'll get into conversation about what it used to be like back in the day,

and I'm like, yeah, yeah, is it? Okay, yeah, man, that's good, trying to cut the conversation off. they'll talk about specifics and then Ye in particular if he's getting told off will be the first one to bring it back like oh I mean what Erfan said in the barbers and I'm like it's not important what Erfan says in the barbers Erfan's been to prison for a long time and then and then you know what he's clever he's clever because then it'll be like yeah and Irfan was talking about or what was her name Shanice and then he'll walk out and then he leave me with his mom and his mom's like

Yeah, yeah, I remember Shanice motherfucker. I remember Shanice. So he's smart with it I like the fact that you know, he knows how to play the game a little bit. Yeah, as long as they're like sound Do you know what I mean when I say that? Mm-hmm. If they're sound, yeah decent. Yeah, if they're sound they're not like they're not like They don't enjoy hurting people. Yes Somebody and you know people be doing that, you know, yeah in lots of different ways if they're sound and fuck it Just have a good one. But if you're not sound, I think their mum can get quite hitty. That's what happened to us.

We didn't really get like smacked when we were kids. But as soon as like, oh motherfucker you got hair on your chest, then aunties and uncles will be swinging haymakers like left and right, bang, bang, bang. So we never know. Not actual haymakers I hope. Couple.

Oh my God. And you know you underestimate the short aunties thinking it's going to be OK. Couple of my cousins woke up and it was the next day and they'd been fucked up. So yeah, it's part of life. That's bleak. And what are you and your wife like at home, if I may inquire?

What do you mean? Well, are things harmonious? Are you a good unit? You know, sometimes if there is someone who does a job like yours, for example, that's very irregular, you might be away for long periods of time. How does your wife deal with that?

She's like... In that sense, she probably would wish that I did things a little bit differently. Yeah, I mean is she mainly Working at home and looking after the kids or has she got another job as well. She has she's got that That mass responsibility. Yeah, but I'm probably around more than she really wants At any given time. I'm You'll be like, oh isn't it nice that you got home to your family?

I think my family would prefer if I went missing not ever but you know six months or whatever oh well I don't know where he is get the flyers up let's start a Facebook group they prefer if I wasn't around as much as I was what is most likely to cause a row in the Khan household? V5s. What's that? You know when you get a car? And the DVLA sends you a legal piece of paper and it's got a number plate on it and it's got your name on it, Ordino's name on it, yeah? I have lost 100% of all V5s

that have ever come to the house. So I'll be like, from another part of the house, oh Dino, have you seen that V5? And just muffled in the distance, she'll be like, pussyhole, I told you to put the V5 somewhere. She hates and that's caused huge arguments in our house. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you losing these V5s on purpose?

I should have never married you, you fat cunt. What's wrong with you? Just guess out hand. I hate them. V5s should be electronic. What's the need? Any? For fucking paper V5s?

Now I have to face the wrath of Dino because I used a V5 to roll it up and smoke some weed. It's just fucking a lot of headache. And what are you supposed to say to that box? I lost it again and she's like, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's no good. You need to take better care of it. That's like listening to my wife and our middle son.

He is unable to hold onto any things and to keep track of anything at all. And yet he's totally indignant. If you ever try and cross examine him and suggest that he changes his ways, he gets very upset because he thinks he's got everything sorted. What kind of shit he'd be losing? Oh, man, everything. Everything. Like every device that he's ever had, every any bit of possession, like to the extent that recently I got him a phone, like pretty cheap

phone to replace the one that he'd lost a few months earlier for his birthday. And he genuinely didn't want it because he just said, we both know what's going to happen. You know, he was sort of being nice. He was just like, I don't want to, I don't want to go through all this again. It's just a sort of pathological thing, like he cannot control, he doesn't, he's not connected to physical things, which in a way is quite nice. I quite like that about him that he's not materialist in that way, but it would be good if he was a bit more materialist, that he could just hang on to some of this stuff.

How about their devices and their time on the internet? Is there any attempt to control that or how do you manage that? Like you can on the main electric board, you can just turn it all off. I've done that three times so far. Because I'm like, yo, that's these YouTube shorts that are going to fuck you up. It's a plan from the government. They're trying to fry your bread.

You can't even concentrate. You're not even listening now. I only started talking five seconds ago. You're not watching YouTube shorts no more. And then 1 a.m., yeah, there's the channel. There's a channel over there. Boom, open door. What's going on in here?

No, nothing, dad. I was talking in my sleep. Give me the this. Boom, open the door. What's going on in here? No, nothing, dad. I was talking in my sleep. Give me the iPad. Look on the iPad. You can see the screen is still lit from YouTube shorts. I'm gonna share them in the fucking, I'm gonna share them in there. Now I'm sharing.

So I went out to the main electric box and I turned it off. I said, no more electricity. And then he said, well, you're staying up till late. What are you gonna do? So I went back and turned it back on. But the point is, you have to, sometimes you have to cut it off at the source. Yeah. Like we are nothing compared to our parents,

but I only imagine if we had this device access YouTube shorts when we were a kid, our parents wouldn't have turned the electricity off they would have ripped the box out the wall and shoved it in my ass that's what he would have done I would have never watched YouTube shorts again I know I have a when we moved into our house like we had all the electrics redone and I asked them to put master switches in some of the rooms for that reason so that if Things reached crunch point I could just go in and hit and they're big red switches

And I just hit the red switch and everything dies It's pretty good feeling. Okay, but are we being stupid? Is it just normal for them to It's not even good content is it well It's just somebody really like restoring a Lego like fuck. I know like a matchbox car Yeah, and you know already they've stuck that matchbox car in the mud themselves six months ago So he gets fucked up to make 15 seconds of content for them and they're like what's even your problem man like I'm just watching this car getting restored but it's if they're watching matchbox cars being restored then everything's fine it's the

other stuff I'm worried about never por, Pornhub doesn't have shorts, does he? I don't know. I would imagine it does. I mean surely, everything's got everything. Any terrible thing you can imagine, they've probably seen. I remember when my son got his first device, it was like an iPod touch kind of thing, and it had internet connectivity or something, which was a stupid thing for me to have done. And I gave it to him way too early. But you know, you want to endear yourself to these people. That's the...

Yeah, yeah. That's what he is. Yeah. You want them to love you. And so I tried to buy his love with Apple gear and the concession that I made to being a somewhat responsible parent was at least you know his account is linked to my account he can't do it there are parental I thought there were parental controls on there evidently there weren't because I started getting alerts about sites that he was visiting he'd obviously just realized oh I can go on the internet and I can look at stuff. And he'd been hanging out with a mate of his,

he must've been about six or something, pretty young. And we're in a car journey, and suddenly I start getting alerts on my phone telling me what he's been looking at. And the thread was, the first search was, Sylvester Stallone's penis. Because they'd seen Rocky. They were like, look at this guy.

And then of course the next thing is, imagine. What kind of equipment this guy and then of course the next thing is imagine what kind of equipment this guy has let's find out and then you know you can imagine three clicks later they're in the belly of hell and they're looking at some terrible terrible stuff and so then I know, I went and confronted him about it and I was like, what are you looking at? And he just immediately burst into tears. Oh, shoot. Because he knew that he had gone to a terrible place.

And you could see that the search had ended in literally three clicks. It was just like, ah, ah, ah! The sights that it had taken into and they'd obviously just close it and gone can you remember what the last search before Sylvester Stallone's penis was what was the last search before that can Can you remember? No, I think this was their inaugural... What's their first search?

This was welcome to the internet. Where would you like to go? Rocky's dick was his first search. Yeah, that's wild, man. Fuck. Yeah, I felt pretty bad about it, but it was a chastening experience and Yeah, I felt pretty bad about it, but it was a chastening experience and We we did actually it's like a fun family story that that I Wheel out more than I should

Never in public before But I did mention the possibility that it might happen to him the other day and he was okay with it. He was alright with it? Yeah, he was like, okay, whatever. He was fine. You know what Dino did get angry with me about? Oh yeah. There's a YouTuber called Selim the Dream. Selim the Dream.

And Selim the Dream does this prank where he, I don't know if anyone's seen it, he moans in people's ears at like supermarkets and stuff. What? He moans, like in what way? So you're there in B&Q now, yeah? Yeah. Looking for whatever you're looking for. And he'll just casually come behind you and he'll go, Hiya.

It's a bit, it's a bit dodge, yeah? It's a bit dodge. But there's a particular set of his videos where he'd been doing this for quite a while, but the whole video was dedicated to him doing that to Asian uncles. And the Asian uncles' reactions compared to everyone else was very different. Is Selina Dreamer Asian himself? No no he's I think he's Ethiopian maybe Somali. So they'd pull up he'd pull up behind the Indian or Pakistani uncle and they'd be browsing light bulbs or whatever the fuck it is and see him will go ho yeah and the Indian uncles would spin around in panic and what I love about

Asian uncles when they're panicked is they don't be speaking English properly so he'll go ho yeah and the uncle was spinner and say who is this One uncle was reading something for the show and Celine the found this hilarious together and the mum wasn't very impressed. Right, now look, what have we got here? I think that I earlier on was looking at your YouTube channel. How often do you go on there and maintain that? Are you like very proactive with your socials? I forgot a password for this for like, for quite some time. Yeah, what were you doing on there? I was just sort of looking through various bits and pieces.

I wanted to see what you've been up to. It suddenly occurred to me like, I don't know what you're actually doing these days. What are you doing at the moment? Well, like this week? Yeah, like in your career. Oh, career? Yeah.

Like that's all right, but the thing that's really exciting for us at a moment. We're having a dormer done in the loft Or yo, listen fuck comedy this dormer is The shit I wish you could all see it's the shit, bro Okay, and I managed to source like these windows called Fackro windows instead of Velux because Velux is very expensive Yeah, and so this brother was like fuck was very good Have the fucker and I went online the fucker is much cheaper and it feels nice in the hand What I'm saying is that's what I'm spending my time doing fucking dorm windows It's very exciting to me Korea's alright. Yeah, but the dorm is gonna be sick

Yeah And how much time do you spend on social media and doing all that? Because, I mean, I do know that about you that you're not someone who is overly focused on growing the brand, smashing the stats, increasing the reach, all those sorts of things, which is quite unusual for a modern personality. You're told generally, you have to be on Twitter. If you're not on Twitter, you're nobody.

No, I would be on the internet, like, talking shit to people. Like, I like... This is one thing I didn't want to lose. I didn't want to lose the ability to just be like, bow, have that motherfucker. Like, I didn't want to lose that, because I used to love having that throughout my whole life. So, I was going back and forth with Tommy Robinson last night on

Instagram or Twitter or Twitter to it. He's active on Twitter. Yeah, like you can catch him Sometimes you can see when he's online and I go immediately bow Straight in there No, I don't want to say this. I want to say this. Okay about him that Definitely that you know, like the attraction dynamic between us It's heavily on my side You're stalking him. Yeah, I'm for sure. I'm stalking him I want to know about his house in Benidorm and all that kind of shit

I know I know more about Tommy Robinson than I know about Dino to be honest with you. There's a lot There's a lot I know so yeah, I'll be on the internet talking shit. What kind of interactions do you have? Are you trolling him or are you trying to actually have meaningful intellectual discussions with him? Well, I don't know how much you know about Tommy Robinson, but... But is it sort of primarily performative or are you trying to genuinely school him as

it were? No, no, no. Sometimes I just be sitting there and I was like, oh, Tommy Robinson posted 33 seconds ago and I'm like, bow. What's life like down there, you tiny motherfucker? Just things like that. And then it gets him really riled up because I shouldn't be here in this country, of course. Yes Does he respond to you?

Sometimes he responds to me, but it's something I can't tell whether it's here Well, I got to raise him or press team whoever handed his social media Okay, when it's him you can tell it's him because he he types like he talks which I find very entertaining sometimes How is that? I think I love Tommy Robinson a little bit is what I'm trying to say. Is there any part of you that would ever want to get into politics and because you know you'd be a very charismatic candidate that I feel like a lot of people could probably get behind. There you go. No but there's not any money in it is there? Nah, but there's not any money in it, is there? We're doing alright.

If you get to be Prime Minister, then you just spugger off and you are coining it on the talk circuit. I would just like to go into... Remember like when the Ali G character went in there, and he was just like smashing everybody, and he was like, that would be fun for a day. Because sometimes those conversations would be going on and on and on. And they're all like, oh, oh, oh. You see someone with a strong, shut the fuck up, to move the conversation on. I would like to do that one day.

In a political context. In a political context, when they're all sat there, oh, oh, oh, shut the fuck up, dickhead. Who said that? In the House of Commons. In the House of Commons, yeah. Fuck your mum, who said that? I predict that in our lifetime that will happen. I hope. The thing about all their money's bro, it's like There's a lot of people that like you box. Yeah, so in passing a lot of people are like, oh girls hi I'm like, yeah, like, I tell you what, those conversations

you have with Adam Baxter, really, really good. Yeah? And they just walk away. They're not my usual interactions. And I'm like, oh, somebody's on a box thing. But it's like, you know, if Pretty Patel came up to you and said, I really like your podcast, yeah? Yeah.

You'd have to kind of... Firm's pretty, innit? You know what I mean? Your followers, the internet, if they saw you fist bumping pretty Patel, you'd be finished, bro, fucking dead in the ground. But if you explain to me the context, I'm not going to kill you for that.

Yeah, OK, I see what you mean. Have you ever been in that position where someone was charming to you? What if Tommy Robinson comes up and he's all charming with you? He helps you with your shopping. He does your wife a favor. He shows you- He does Dino a favor! You know what kind of fucking favors you talking about Adam Buxton?

You know what kind of fucking favors you talking about Adam Buxland? Not those ones, but he shows you his human side. Nah, because look there's people here. If it was just me and you backstage, I'd be like... It's the world, innit? You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I agree with you as far as, like, it should be the most important thing, like, how people treat each other one-on-one.

Yet, we know that there's more to it than that. That's the weird thing about social media, though, isn't it? Is that people are liberated to have these clashes of principle. Yes. And fundamentally, it is one of the frustrating things about so many of the conflicts that you see in the world whether they're small or catastrophically large that you just think fuck I wish you were in front of each other in real life. I wish you were able

to find a point of common humanity. You know what I mean? Like that's the truthful nice version of it. I don't know if you ever heard of this term, chat shit, get banged. Have you ever heard of that? Because in real life, all these Twitter fingers, hot, piang, piang, piang, bully, bully, bully, bully. In the real life, brother, it's a very real saying

that everybody should be aware that's how life works. If you're chatting too much shit, you're gonna get banged. Uh-huh. What are you like with conflict in general? Like real world, physical physical in the room conflict But give me some context. Well, what about on set when when you were on the podcast we talked about people Like toxic sets. Yeah, and people losing their temper Why never like yeah, I never like it when I'm me and you talk to each other and then I leave and I'm like the box is a good guy you know and then people always wait

till box has gone to his car and he's on the way home and three people are like he's a fucking cunt but now I'm confused because I'm like yo you're saying this happen I'm using example but like now I'm confused I'm not saying this happens, I'm just using an example. But now I'm confused, because I'm like, oh, was all that nice interaction that I had with Box real? Or is he a dickhead? Or are these three chatting shit, and do I need to bang them right now? It's a real moral quandary. I've seen a couple of people do things that I don't like,

but I've always checked them on it, and they've always done that. You know actors, I'm not an actor, I don't regard myself as an actor but you know actors when you catch them doing something and they know it's wrong and you check them on it they all go oh three times I know they're acting to me as well yeah yeah but they're like it's been a really hard day and I've got this going on and my mom died in August and but like, but I'm like, okay, there's a lot of shit going on. But you didn't have to be a dickhead to this person. Yeah. Right. But I'll never

I'll never that does get you sacked from jobs. I have been sacked from from jobs before because there's an expectation in our industry to just is it toe the line? Is that the right Yeah, yeah, just toe the line. But life sure any we want to get sacked off a job but you help stand up for somebody over here who's getting treated like shit that's always stuff I saw my mom doing my mom would never you know no matter how big the guy was or how dangerous they were if she saw somebody mugging somebody else off Zainab Khan would always step in and say, fuck you. Good for your mum. Yeah, I mean, it's a hard thing to do.

I certainly like to think I would do that in that sort of situation. But then I think about some of the situations where maybe it hasn't been a total meltdown, but someone's been really yelling on a set or whatever. And my initial reaction is to just to giggle nervously because you just think this is ridiculous. Why is Tempo's getting so heated about a fucking TV show? This is mad. So you sort of can't really believe it's happening and then too late you think, oh actually that must have been humiliating for the person who was being yelled at. But then also bro, It's this specific

Industry that we've spoken about before which is if my man had started that and he was like assistant manager in Lidl Somebody would have headbutted him and he would have been fucking sleep and he would have never done it again Because this is this like it's not real life it's pretend bullshit yes that's the thing yeah exactly because you're trying to create something from nothing you're kind of trying to catch lightning in a bottle when you're especially making a film which is a very difficult thing to do and so the madness just gets hold of people I suppose I mean one day there will be

footage of me absolutely losing my shit somewhere probably on the platform of Cambridge station at some hapless rail employee. But remember early on with the parenting and the hypocrisy stuff yeah yeah if that footage does come out I'll still be like okay. Box my boy though. That's my boy, do you know what I mean? So look, I wanted to ask you about, I've got a fantasy that I'm going to,

I'm trying to get myself onto the Bake Off. Who'd you say again? You know, the Great British Bake Off. That's your fantasy to go on there? Yeah, yeah. Well, the celebrity one, you know what I mean? Oh yeah yeah. Okay. Yeah, would you ever go on a show like that? Fuck? No Why not Let people going on TV and the whole show is about making like cakes and

Cookies. Yeah, don't do that in your house, bro. I Yeah. You can do that in your house, bro. I wouldn't go, nah. Yeah, but you're being judged by Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood with his amazing blue eyes. You might get the handshake from Paul Hollywood if you do a good bit of baking. Is that what happens? Yeah. You get your handshake. You get a handshake and it's the highest accolade known to man. I don't know. I don't know who am I to judge. If in your house, if you won this, would you finally be like, yeah, dad, you're sick? Yes, I think so.

Then that's fine. Then you have to do what you have to do. What about, have you been on any of those kinds of shows? What, Bake Offs? Well, you know, like a sort of reality. Well, you've been on Taskmaster. I guess that's different. Oh, yeah, that's different though, man Yeah, that's different. They want you to like bake a cake and then if you have if you want to shit in the cake You can shit in the cake

It's a whole different thing. It's a wonderful thing. Yeah You can't really do that, you know, you know What taking a shit in a cave no taskmaster yet oh taskmaster no that's a sore point what why because you know I say why say why because I think I would do a good job on taskmaster So let me get this right fuck bake off leave it where it is, okay you would actually like to do taskmaster and No one's bowled you giving you the call for it. Is that what you're saying? I'm saying yeah, that is what I'm saying. I've had Alex on the podcast and he said oh you're on the long list But it's a very long

It's a very long. Have you got his number? Yeah, let's call him now Because Call him bro, call him, call him. Because... Please, man. Here's the thing, yeah? You're a lovely guy, he's a lovely guy. There's no need for this long list thing here going on. Please bail him. Please bail him now. And we're gonna fix this thing right now.

Yeah, do it, bro, do it. Do it, man. This is not good. I think it might jeopardise my friendship with Alex Horne if I ring and say... No! Hey, Alex, I'm doing a show in Manchester and there's a crowd of a thousand people here who want to know why I haven't been on Taskmaster. He's going to be like...

Not... But ordinarily, but if you do say, if you do say one more bit of information, Guz made me make the phone call, he's gonna go, I promise you he's gonna be alright. Yeah. Because he wanted to, I think he wanted to kick me off the show like six times. Why did he want to kick you off? Because I threatened to throw an iron through the stained glass window in that house. Why? Just, he said you can do what you want. I said, anything.

I said, anything. He said, anything you want, guys. And I said, I'm gonna throw this iron through that stained glass window. And he said, you're not allowed to do that. I said, motherfucker, you told me I could do what I want. Call him, we're gonna fix this now. Come on.

Come on, bro. All right. This feels like a mistake You're not thinking this is good, this is good Alex it's Adam Buxton. I'm on stage, just so you know. Alex? Which stage, Adam? I'm on stage in Manchester at the Albert Hall and I'm here I'm here with Gus Khan. Alex? Alex? I'm not interested. Whatever you're selling. Alex, how are you my bro? Gus Khan, I'm pretty good my bro. Alex, listen, but I forget, just forget all the people are here, imagine they're not even here yeah? This is me, you and Bucks. We're in a Dixie chicken 2 a.m. in the morning yes strawberry

Miranda's the conversations going well now Box looks at me and I look at you and Box says you know what brother I would actually legit love to be on Taskmaster and then I look at him but just to confirm this Alex I have to say Wallahi, you want to be on the show? Say Wallahi. Wallahi. You say Wallahi. Wallahi, yes. And I say you're a beautiful guy because you are. Adam Buxton is a beautiful guy, your energies are unmatched, I'm your brown boy from the Midlands. Please, can you just do the thing and make sure Box is on your show because I think it'd be a beautiful combination.

I fucking love both of you. Don't make this long, cuz chat shit get banged. Can we do this, please? Please. Please. Wallahi? Yes. Make the combination. Alex. Yes, Adam. Alex, I'm aware that this is probably... Alex, I'm aware that this is most likely the end of our friendship.

Well, it was also the beginning when you called me. It's the first ever time. I was made to do this by Gus Kahn who was trying to make my dreams come true. We were chatting. I was chatting to him about Taskmaster and my love for Taskmaster and that's how it happened. But I... Well it would genuinely make my dreams come true so let's sort this out. Alex, thank you so much for taking this call. I will check in with you later to make a fulsome apology. But this is the sound of Manchester saying thank you, Alex Horne.

I'm hanging up now. I mean, I think that couldn't really have gone better. On the other hand, he's probably now deleting my number and blocking me from every avenue of approach. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Yeah, that's a no-brainer. That's just some bullshit where you think he's cool, he thinks you're really cool, and he's like, would he do it?

He just needed one prick to be like, do the tinkers, and that's it, you know what I mean? So I'm happy, bro, you're gonna be sick on that show, we're gonna love watching it, fucking let's have it! Thank you very much. I know this isn't a good reference, but it did feel like being on Jim Will Fix It. Thank you very much. I know this isn't a good reference, but it did feel like being on Jim'll Fix It. Don't take that the wrong way. Thanks. Thanks.

But... Bake Off. Now what can you do... What can you do for me there? Do you have the producers number? No, is that brother still on Bake Off? Which one? Paul Hollywood? Not Paul Hollywood. There's Noel Fielding. Yes.

Yeah, call him. Call him, we'll sue him. I don't think I have Noel's number. But this is what I would do though. Call him, we'll sue him. I don't think I have Noel's number. But this is what I would do though. If I went on that show, I've got it all worked out. I've got a song about baking that I think is going to seal the deal. And this is something that I used AI for.

And it's a song about baking pies. The only thing is that I did have fun with this one, trying to get the AI to use some bad language. Because when you use AI music generating software, the platforms I've been using, they don't like you to swear. If you put in sweary lyrics, it says, does not compute, try again. They don't like hate speech and swearing.

So you have to find ways around it. Not the hate speech, I haven't put any hate speech in. I don't think that's gonna get me on Bake Off. But I did try to do some with a bit of fruity language and this was the result. I baked you a pie, I baked you a pie, and this was their result. I made it sweet as a fucking treat I know you like sweet pie There's sugary shit all over it I baked you a fucking pie I baked you a pie I baked you a pie, I baked you a pie, I baked you a fucking pie I baked you a pie, I baked you a pie, I baked you a fucking pie

Fucking honey, that shit's so runny, I baked you a fucking pie Sweet, sweet, you motherfucker I baked you a fucking pie I baked you a fucking pie So that's my plan. This time next year I hope to be able to say that I have been on either Taskmaster or Bake Off. It's my dream. Or both? Or both. Or both.

One more time before we go, can we just get a happy birthday to you? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Andrews. Happy birthday dear Mildred Happy birthday to you Hey thanks, this is the best birthday I've had for a long time, thank you very much Thank you Wait, continue Wait continue

Hey Welcome back podcats That was guz khan and the wonderful audience at the Albert Hall in Manchester last year June 2024 And I was very grateful to them all for showing me a wonderful night. What an amazing birthday that was. Of course the question is, when will you be seeing me on Taskmaster? Well, as I speak, there hasn't yet been a follow-up call, but I mean it was a promising first step wasn't it? Anyway, thank you so much to Guz and to everyone there that night, especially Seamus Murphy Mitchell and everyone from the Albert Hall who made us feel very welcome. Thanks to the Crosstown

Promotions crew, Dan, Liam, Katie, Ben and Richard. If you go into the description of today's podcast, you will find a link that will take you to my website where you'll find a photograph of me and Guz with Seamus in the background just before we went on stage that night. I've also put a link to a compilation of Salim the Dream going up and moaning in people's ears in hardware stores in America. I mean it looks really ill-advised to me. People are genuinely angry, freaked out, upset to have him go up and moan in a sexual way into their ear. They don't know how to respond. They're freaked out because Saleem just looks completely gormless when they turn around so they're not sure what the deal is. They don't know if

he's being threatening or coming on to them or taking the piss or what the deal is. It does tweak my anti-prank nipples but there's no denying that it's fairly compelling viewing. Anyway that's there as well as the video for my AI baking song I Baked You A Pie and to be clear the music was generated by AI but the words were my own Since then everything's changed in the world of AI and You can swear it up The platform that I was using then now no longer has a problem with swearing

as for any other kind of Inflammatory language, I'm not sure I haven't tested it. When I did that one, I baked you a pie. It took me so long to find spellings that would fool it into saying the F word and the other sweary words. Time well spent though, I'm sure you'll agree. Last weekend I was in Sheffield with Joe Cornish at the Sheffield Dockfest and we did an event in which we were introduced on stage by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato from World of Wonder

Productions who produced the Adam and Jo show back in the day and they had been curating various events at the DocFest, of which we were one. So Joe and I spent just over an hour doing yet more reminiscing and looking back through lots of videos. I had trawled through the archives and put together a few bits and pieces from the Adam and Joe show as well as some bits of home video and a few examples of some of the things that we used to like to watch in those days. It was good fun actually and we had a really good audience. I signed some books afterwards so thanks very much if you came along and I hope that we might get to do something similar again maybe later in the year, maybe next year. Next year is going to be the 30th anniversary of the first Adam and Jo show that we did.

I'll let you know if anything materializes. But yeah, thanks if you came. If you'd like to join me for more chat around my book, I love you, bye! Which I hope you own a copy of, don't forget to pick up that audiobook as well. With all that bonus content including a whole hour brand new podcast with me and Joe waffling about it and other things. Come along to the Mannington Book Bash. It's a very nice boutique. Is it a boutique? I don't know what makes a boutique a boutique, just that it's small. If that's

the case then it is a boutique literary festival that takes place in the grounds of a beautiful moted medieval country house, Mannington Hall in Norfolk. It takes place between the 25th and the 28th of September this year. It's organised by the independent Norwich bookshop, The Book Hive, and I will be doing two events there. On Saturday, the 27th of September, the first one is 4 p.m. with me waffling about the book with another human, TBC, and I will be signing some books either immediately after that event or the next event which is going to be at 6 p.m. I think on the Saturday and that will be me interviewing a comedy hero of mine, Nigel Plana,

aka Neil of The Young Ones, and star of so many of those brilliant comic strip films back in the day as well as sitcoms thereafter. He is also the author of fiction books as well as now a memoir called Young Once about those days with the comic strip. Comes out later this year. Very much looking forward to meeting Nigel. I hope you can make it along. There's a link to buy tickets and find out more in the description. Okay, that's it for this week.

Thank you so much Once again to Seamus Murphy-Mitchell and to Becca Bryars. Thanks to Helen Green, she does the artwork for this podcast. Thank you to everyone at Acast for all their help liaising with my sponsors, but thank you especially to all of you. Would you care for a hot creepy hug? Of course you would, I don't smell too bad today. Of course you would, I don't smell too bad today. And I've brushed off most of the insects from my tolling top. So come here, hey, good to see you. Alright, please go carefully. And for what it's worth, I love you.

Bye! I love you. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I take a pant when me bum's up Give me like a smile and a thumbs up I take a pant when me bum's up Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Please like and subscribe Give me like a smile and a thumbs up I take a pant when me bum's up Give me like a smile and a thumbs up

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