THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.282 - KRISTEN SCHAAL

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

Adam talks with American actor, writer and comedian Kristen Schaal about Joan Proctor the Dragon doctor, why Kristen believes eating after 5pm is disgusting and why the subject of meal times is tearing the Buxton family apart, ideas for films, screen kiss etiquette, what Kristen's work colleagues might be criticising her for behind her back, the crisis in TV production on both sides of the Atlantic and a few of the products in Kristen's life that never let her down.Conversation recorded face-to-face in London on 5 August, 2026Thanks to Diggory Waite and Claire Broughton at Hattrick and Séamus Murphy Mitchell for production support.Podcast illustration by Helen GreenAN EVENING WITH ADAM BUXTON AT MALDON BOOKS - Thursday 15th October, 7pm @ Maldon United Reformed Church, Market Hill, Maldon CM9 4PZVisit the ADAM BUXTON PODCAST PATREON PAGE for previously unheard interviews, Q&A episodes, Rosie pics and videos and other odd and sods.SEND IN PATREON JINGLES AND QUESTIONS See pics, links, jingles, videos and more on ADAM'S WEBSITESUCCESSPOD - 2026 (listen for free with a trial or subscription on Audible)RELATED LINKSPRETENDING TO HAVE A BABY Kristen Schaal on Comedy Central - 2019 (YouTube)KRISTEN SCHAAL LIVE AT THE FILLMORE Kristen's first stand up special - 2013 (YouTube)KRISTEN IN LAST MAN ON EARTH Short intro video for Kristen's character, Carol Pilbasian - 2015 (IMDB)FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS - BEST OF MEL Featuring Kristen Schaal - (YouTube)THE DAILY SHOW - DAD BODS Featuring Kristen Schaal - 2015 (YouTube)BOB'S BURGERS LIVE - HARRY TRUMAN Kristen Schaal and Laura Gibson - 2013 (YouTube)WOULD KRISTEN SCHAAL RATHER BE FUNNY OR LIKEABLE? Good Talk with Anthony Jeselnik - 2019 (YouTube)JOAN PROCTER DRAGON DOCTOR by Patricia Valdez, illustrated by Felicita Sala - 2018. Story read by Miss Linda (YouTube) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin. Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening. I took my microphone and found some human folk. Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke. My name is Adam Buxton. I'm a man. I want you to enjoy this. That's the plan. Hey, how you doing podcasts?

It is Adam Buxton here. Just pausing on this farm track in Norfolk, UK, to allow my best dog friend Rosie, the opportunity for some plop time. She's concluded. Why is it necessary to share that information with the podcast? Just a fun bit of info. They love all that stuff, the podcats, Rosie.

I think you underestimate them. I think you're just grumpy because you wanted to stay in your lovely warm dog bed in mum's office. Yes, I think that may well have something to do with it. Come on, Rosie, it's a lovely bracing day. It's too windy. It is a bit David Blowy, but we've got to get out, get some fresh air while we can. These days, it's dark before you know it. Anyway, how are you doing podcats?

I hope you're well. and that some of you have been enjoying the teetering stack of bonus goodies over on the Patreon page. Unheard interviews, Q&A episodes, pictures and videos of Rosie, I mean, it's the best time. You'll find a link to the Patreon page in the description, and that's where you'll also find the address

where you can send in questions and anything you like, really, for future Q&A episodes. But right now, let me tell you a little bit about podcast number 282, which features a rambling conversation with American actor, writer and comedian, Kristen Shalphax. Kristen Joy Shal was born in January 1978, in Longmont, Colorado, and raised on her family's cattle ranch in the countryside near Boulder, where Mork and Mindy was set. She graduated from Skyline High School in 1996, went on to Northwestern University, and in 2000, Kristen moved to New York City

to pursue her comedy dreams. Her offbeat, surreal stand-up style quickly found an appreciative audience, and in 2005, Kristen was the second-ever recipient of the Andy Kaufman Award, created by the legendary comedian's family in order to celebrate and encourage Kaufman's spirit of originality, unconventionality and general risk-taking in performance.

Like many people, I first became aware of Kristen through the Flight of the Concords TV series when it started in 2007. Kristen played Brett and Jermaine's obsessive superfan Mel, and her scenes were always a highlight. From 2008 to 2016, Kristen appeared as an occasional commentator on The Daily Show with John Stewart, where her husband, Rich Blomquist, was one of the writers. Rich and Kristen wrote a book together, which was published in 2010 and entitled The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex. Kristen's distinctive voice, sometimes described as childlike, has made her one of the most recognizable performers in the world of animation. She plays Louise Belcher on Bob's Burgers and Mabel Pines on Gravity Falls, and she voiced several characters on BoJack

Horseman, most notably Sarah Lynn, a role that earned her a primetime Emmy nomination for outstanding character voiceover performance. Kristen also voices Trixie in the Toy Story films. In live action, she played Carol Pilbysian on the Last Man on Earth, where she starred opposite Will Forte in a post-apocalyptic comedy that aired between 2015 and 2018. Kristen also played characters on shows including 30 Rock and what we do in the shadows. And she's appeared in films such as Bill and Ted Face the Music

and the film My Spy and its sequel. On stage, Kristen won a Lucille Lortle Award for her role playing opposite Jeremy Strong in a 2010 Lincoln Center production of The Coward by Orange's The New Black Writer, Nick Jones. My conversation with Kristen was recorded face-to-face in London, in early August of this year, 26, while Kristen was in the UK to perform her play The Legend of Crystal Shell, co-starring Bob's castmate John Roberts. The play was performed at the Edinburgh Fringe and also in London as part of the

26, Roundhouse Comedy Festival. Now, when Claire Broughton, who is part of the podcast production support team, heard the conversation that I recorded with Kristen, she said, you didn't talk about Bob's Burgers! She didn't say it exactly like that. It's a little calmer. But fair point. I'm sorry. I know people are passionate about that show. I mean, that's partly because, to be honest with you, I don't want to sound too defensive here, but I wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to have been due to the recording having been brought forward a few days at the last minute, unexpectedly. And then Kristen was pressed for time on the day,

and she had to get away earlier than anticipated. I'm not complaining. I'm very grateful to have spent any time with Kristen at all. It's great to meet her. I had met her once or twice, very briefly, but it was lovely to hang out a little longer. Maybe she'll come back and we can talk about Bob's burgers and BoJack Horseman and all that stuff. But actually, it was a nice reminder that sometimes being a little less prepared and under-researched can result in a more natural and free-flowing chat, which I felt was the case with the conversation you are about to hear.

We talked about why Kristen believes eating after 5pm is disgusting and why the subject of meal times is tearing. the Buxton family apart. We talked about screen kiss etiquette. In a section that, in case you wonder, while you're listening, I did ask my wife if it was okay to include. I had brought along a few fun random questions to ask Kristen, including the paranoia tweaking, what might your colleagues at work be criticising you for behind your back?

which she answered very candidly. We talked about the crisis in TV production, especially in comedy on both sides of the Atlantic, and Kristen described a few of the products in her life that never let her down. I did ask her to do that. She didn't just spontaneously start blithering about products. But we began by talking about Kristen's trip

to London Zoo with her daughter, and we spoke about their love of the pioneering British zoologist Joan Proctor, who I must confess, before speaking to Kristen, I had never heard of. I mean, Kristen does explain a little bit about who she was, but she was a renowned herpetologist. That's a zoologist who studies reptiles and amphibians, born in 1897, who became the first female curator of reptiles at the Natural History Museum,

while still in her 20s. And later, Joan Proctor was the curator of reptiles at London Zoo, where she redesigned the reptile house, which opened in 1927, and Proctor's Tame Commodo Dragon, Sumbawa, would accompany her for walks around the zoo grounds. A bit of extra info for you there. I'll be back at the end to say goodbye, but right now, with Kristen Shah. Here we go.

Ooh, this is some nice equipment. Does this sound okay to you? It sounds really good. All right, great. And I don't like the sound of my voice, so. Oh, come on. You must like the sound of your voice. Uh-uh.

Are you drinking a beer? No, it's a zero alcohol. I was going to say, I was, um... But I've got... I got excited. I don't want anything. I'm going to have a gin martini. With your family?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that the older members of your family, or is that your current family? My current... My husband and my... My husband and... my eight-year-old. Oh, cool, they're in town. Yeah, we got in yesterday. So we're like, it's, you know, we're doing pretty good. Today we went to the zoo. Nice. Which one?

The London Zoo. It's been a while since I went to the zoo. Well, you can feed the penguins. Can you? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you'd be upset if you couldn't. What about, what were the other animal highlights? There was a little butterfly pavilion-y thing. And then, I mean, and then, honestly, it was so crowded. And I was a little bit sad because we're really into Joan Proctor. Who's Joan Proctor? So Joan Proctor was the first female curator of the reptiles. I think she got the gig because she's brilliant and she was like sending letters and stuff and then everybody went to war and then she like got the gig. And she would like walk around the zoo with a dragon called the big ones. There's a commodo dragon.

There's the healer monster. I think it's all of them. And she would just walk around with the monolese and stuff. And she was very inventive about like their health care and how to care for them and their habitats and stuff. And she died when she was in her 30s. But she was just awesome. And there was a children's book called Joan Proctor Dragon Doctor that Ruby got a few years ago, my daughter. And so we were like, let's go see the reptile house.

And they're turning it into like a play. space. Yeah. And they have like a tiny blue plaque of her there and we took our picture by it, but it was just like the reptile house that they have now, I don't think, well, we went in there. There's nothing about Joan in there. And then like, I thought they'd have a bust or something, you know. Where does all your Joan Proctor- Are we recording before I really start bashing the, oh. Where does all your Joan Proctor knowledge come from then? Is it all from that book? Well, it's mainly from that book, and then I dove in a little bit further, not much, but it's just exciting because, you know, she was just, like, so intelligent and so good at what she was doing.

And obviously off the beaten path, you know, she, like, loved snakes. She got an alligator when she was a kid, too, that she also walked on a leash. Thank God for leashes. And so we have a lizard at our house named Zebra. and she's a Rankin's Dragon, which is basically it won't get that big. That was my research because I don't want to buy a bigger terrarium. See, he's still sad that it's in the terrarium. My daughter really wanted it, and she did 100 chores to get it.

But I have sort of fallen in love with it because I take it outside, you know, and I feed it maggots. And I watch it walk around. And it's like the one time I can really get an authentic, you know, meditation in because one time I looked away or I looked down and it, you know, bird can grab it or it'll run into the foliage and be gone forever. So I have to like just look at nature, like really look at nature. And I usually do that for about 30 minutes a day if I can. How old is it?

It's about it's going to be a year. It's about a year old. Oh, it's a young one. Oh, it's a baby. Zebra's a baby. I've already seen her shed her skin a couple times. And does zebra have stripy skin, hence the name? She does a little bit stripy

Yeah I also have this weird like it follows the spine You know pattern Yeah Did you have those kinds of pets when you were growing up I lived on a farm so all my pets were free range Right and did you always love animals then Have you got like a deep zoological I guess I do

I didn't really consider them very important to me growing up Because they were always around But my daughter is very inventive invested in animals and cares a lot. She really wants a bird. Don't mean to air our dirty laundry. But I don't want a bird. And that's the one pet.

I'm like, we're not getting a bird. And it's really some, I don't know, it's just really sticking with her. How old is she? She's eight. Okay, yeah. And we're going to go to the Tower of London tomorrow. And I know there's a ton of ravens there.

She really wants to be friend of raven. She always has. Are they friendly? No, I don't know what it is. I think that's maybe why. I think she likes the challenge. Right. I heard there is, isn't there like a keeper of the Ravens at the tower?

Because that would be a really good job for her. Do you have to be British or do you have to be like related to the royal family somehow? I would hope so. I mean, let's keep some jobs for British nationals, shall we? Who who is the keeper? of the Ravens. By the way, there was no sort of... I'm like, this guy's right wing.

I don't know what the right or left is here. I just got here. Yeah. Is it Labor versus... Labor versus Tories or conservatives. Oh, okay, so Tories are our right and laborers are left. Yes, that's right. And there's a lot of middle ground.

There's more and more. And a lot of outer ground. Oh, yeah. And then you've got the wishy-washy middle. That's the liberals. maybe. Okay. And people like me, centrist dads.

Okay. We're known as. Okay. The CDs. Yeah, yeah. What do they call them in the U.S.? This, uh, oh, hold on. Um, it's independence.

Independence. Yeah. They don't choose a side. Right. You know. Okay. Well, this is a little early to pin our colors to the political master, I think. I just want to know who the keeper of the ravens is, guys.

The keeper of the ravens is officially known as the raven master. Oh my God. And currently, that is Yeoman Warder Barney Chandler. He is a former Royal Marine who took over the iconic role at the Tower of London. Chandler's responsible for the daily care feeding and management of the tower's famous flock of Ravens. Oh, my God. And he's got a very good uniform that is, you know, the beefeater uniform, black with a skirt and red piping and a red crown in the middle of it. How long has he had that gig?

Like, can you, and does it tell you die? like our Supreme Court. Hang on. How long has Barney Chandler been the keeper of the Ravens? This is what everyone out there wants to know. Two and a half years. Oh, okay.

So he's a real green. He's green. Yeah. Before, he served as the yeoman ward a bee feeder for 15 years. Oh, he had his eye on it. He worked his way up. Anyway, so he's the guy to talk to, I think, for your daughter. And what other bird would be a good companion?

There's a guy out in the country where we are, there's a man with a hawk. And he comes around, he's got the glove and everything, and the hawk goes off and does sorties, and then comes back to him. It always comes back to him. I mean, that's her dream. Like, I've told her that a bird in a cage is very, very sad, and I don't want it. Sorry, all you bird owners are just me. So then she's like, well, I'll just befriend a raven in the wild, you know, because they can recognize faces. and if you betray them, they will tell their young, everyone knows who your face and they'll

like, they'll cancel you. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So they're real smart. So she's like, fine, I want it to be free, but I want it to be my friend. Yeah. Oh, well, I hope that journey progresses in a positive way.

Me too. Me too. It needs to end or progress to become this hawk dude you're talking about. Who is this guy? He's reminding me of, um, hey. Hamnet, you know, in Hamnet where his wife, Anne Hathaway, is walking around with a hawk, that falcon or hawk follows her around and when things are real bad, it circles around to be like, hey, guys. I haven't seen Hamlet, but I know what you mean.

I spoiled it. Yeah. Oh, no. Have you seen The Odyssey? Of course. Of course you have. Did you watch videos of people getting irate on YouTube before you saw it? I did not.

But you know what I'm talking about. Yeah. I heard. The culture war. Yeah. Like Elon Musk had some stuff to say. That's sort of the headline I got. Yeah.

It's not historically accurate. And it, I think it erased as white people. You mean the king, the queen, the son? Sure. I didn't follow it. But I actually think it's kind of nice that people are talking about art at all. Yeah, that's true. Take it.

Yeah. Strong opinions about Greek myths. So you are in town to do your play. Yeah, the legend of Crystal Shell. And you might like this. I tried my hand at making music in it. So it's got some songs, quote unquote. Well, I call them song snacks, because I don't know if they're like a full meal.

But my friend John Roberts plays my dad in it. And he is a really good singer. I was like, we should do something together. Do you want to play my horse dad? And then I was like, do you want to sing in it? And he's like, yes. And then he introduced me to this producer. He works with Big Black Delta and we wrote some songs that are in the show.

And he gets to sing and he's so good. And what musical instruments accompany you singing? We're singing to a track. Okay. So all of them. Yeah. And do you play... I can afford a band.

Do you play anything yourself? No, I've only tried my hand at the hammered dulcimer. Oh, I do play a trumpet in the play. Aha. Do you play it well? Oh, I blow it perfect. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I can't believe you didn't mention the trumpet as soon as I asked you if you play any instruments. Well, it's like, you know, it's a story point, so I forgot. Okay. I'm just having a sip of my Asahi dry, zero alcohol. Zero alcohol. I'm trying to get into it. Yeah, I'm right behind you. I'm probably like maybe three and a half years away.

Oh, you reckon? Probably. Yeah. Aren't we all? I mean, I'm not, maybe, maybe. I'm trying to push that point as far back as I possibly can. I still drink alcohol. Oh, you do?

Yeah. You just love the taste of beer so much? Yeah. I do like it too. I mean, it must be like I just associate it with fun. Yeah. So having it in the afternoon, it feels like, yay, this is fun. Yeah, you're like done working.

Yeah. Yeah. And then the other day, I got one out of the fridge. because we also have regular Asahi in our fridge, but the packaging is very similar. Right. So I drank what I thought was a zero alcohol lager at lunch while I was working. Uh-huh. And then I looked at the can and it had booze in it.

And then I started feeling like, oh, no, I felt, I felt angry because I'd wasted some alcohol time. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Thinking that I was being virtuous. Right. And actually all I'd done was give myself a mild headache in the afternoon. No. No. slowed down my work.

God, you're so not a madman. No, I'm not. Were you a, were you a hellraiser? Are you a hell? No, you're not a hellraiser anymore. I was never, I mean, I never, well, that's not true. I definitely tried some stuff. I was like, I've never done anything but alcohol.

I've tried things, but I never made anything a habit except for alcohol. Okay. Yeah. I know, I don't even smoke cigarettes. I wish I could be like a good. marijuana user because everybody who is seems to be pretty happy and productive for the most part but I can't I tried I've tried so many times why what's the problem with it well the main problem is it really hurts if you smoke it like I'm just so delicate there in my lungs every time I'm like

and then and then I find the hide to be more of an anxiety of, um, I don't feel right. Yeah. Instead of I feel more free or more focused. Like alcohol, I always just feel more relaxed. That's why it's a habit because it's, a guy, I love it because it separates work to even just hanging out at home, which is bad because I'm hanging out at home more and more. But it's like, and now you can't work because you had some wine.

So you're relaxing. Exactly. That's the cutoff. I know it always used to worry me when people would just be. able to drink and work. Like that's the culture, I don't know what it's like in America, but you know that kind of madmen culture. Yeah, I know.

When they go out for boozy lunches and things like that. If I did that, I'd have to go to sleep immediately for all the afternoon. I don't have enough brain cells for that. No. I think that's something where your tolerance is so high that you're like, did I drink, you know, instead of you getting a headache. Yeah. I noticed, and I've forgotten this, but like, just walking around at 5 o'clock and

everybody is like pouring, pouring into these pubs. When do they eat dinner? You know, I'd ask my husband, like, do they, are they having pub food? We're very curious. Or do you just pound a couple, go home, and then you make your dinner? Maybe that. I don't know, because I've been trying to eat earlier. Like I always, my thing was always I always ate late.

And then I had a terrible gut. Sorry if this is TMI. Have your listeners heard this? Yeah. Yeah. They're familiar with my gut issues. Okay, they're going to want to... I think so.

Yeah, I just, after a while, it was like, I couldn't sleep through the night. I'd be waking up with wind issues. There'd be about three or four times. And then I saw... Your parts were waking you up. Well, sometimes, but it wasn't even that. Like, if it was a question of something that could be resolved with a lovely, luxurious fart, then that would be one thing.

But it wouldn't be that. It would just be general, like, oh, I need to go to the loo. And then you think, oh, no, I don't need to go to the loo. It's just wind build. up. No, you've got some IBS. You've got stuff. Yeah. Well, mainly it was just eating too late. Like, what time do you eat in the evening? Well, we usually eat around five. Oh, really? I love it. And when I make dinner plans with friends, I get real fussy if they're pushing anything past the seven o'clock deadline for me. I'm like, anytime between five and seven, I want to be eating dinner. Yeah. That's it. Were you always like that? Probably not. Like if people are eating at 8 o'clock or 9 o'clock, that just doesn't feel right.

Yeah. But I'm also more and more these days I am going to bed around 9.30. Oh, right. Okay. That's very healthy the lifestyle you're describing. The deal is supposedly if you don't eat after six, that's the sweet spot, right? Like after six, some sort of magical, I think it's called autophagy or something like. like that, the body starts to cleanse and consume itself.

That's when you start burning fat, right? Uh-huh. And then if you're having a big old evening meal, then that process is eliminated and you just end up waking up three times of the night like me. Yeah. Because we eat late around at our place. You would not like it. What time?

Oh, man. We can go, sometimes it's 9.30 and it's chaos. I don't like it. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. And that's what I say to my wife. That's so gross. What time are you going to bed?

Like not that long after. Oh. It's horrible. It's food dribbling out from my mouth. You're brushing your teeth that you just put the food in there. Yeah, yeah. Mint flavored chicken. But no, it drives me nuts.

I would say that it's up in the top five areas for conflict between myself and my wife. Okay. And when our children were younger, it was a little easier because, we all ate at the same time, but now my children are aged between 18 and 24 and they're sort of coming and going and the routine is totally all over the place. Okay. So you can't rely on a set meal time, early meal time. It's just sometimes you have to roll with it.

And my technique was always to not roll with it and sulk fairly hard. Okay. And cause a bad atmosphere. But I'm trying not to do that so much. I mean, I would just say the law of this house. is we're eating at 5.30. Yeah. That's when the meal happens.

And if you want to eat later, then you can get your own meal together. And then it might just be you eating alone, but at least you're like, well, that is probably what's happening, right, because of your bad tummy? Well, I mean, it's generally me and my wife eat together and watch something on TV. But, I mean, you know, I would prefer it. The ideal scenario is all of us, right, sat around the table, sharing great pants, making each other laugh, singing songs, reading poetry. I know.

But, and that does happen once in a blue moon. Does it? That's cool. Yeah, a little bit. Maybe not the reading poetry part. Like for Christmas or something. No, a little more often than that. But that's the thing.

It's like, it does happen. And when it happens, it's always so joyful. I'm like, why can't this always happen? Why can't this be the default? Do you ever wish, I mean, because you describing that to me, I'm glad you're saying it doesn't always happen because it's disgusting the way you're bragging about your family right now. I wish

that like we could all be like Ghost of Christmas Pass and just be able to observe every single kind of family there is just to know that it's okay if we're not in euphoria all the time. Like it's okay if everybody's frowning

for this vacation. I agree with you. And I'm always very envying whenever I see families depicted in like comedy dramas and things like that, especially if it's been written by, like I've got several friends who've written shows where there are family meals happening and the atmosphere, even if it's supposed to be a sort of mildly dysfunctional unit, is always essentially great, you know what I mean?

Like even if there's a bit of tension or it'll be like a big Irish family that are always arguing, but essentially they love each other and they're very close and... Oh, they couldn't sell the film if the theme wasn't family is the most important thing and we love each other. Exactly. But if the reality of my family was portrayed, it would look like studying, dysfunctional, modern, soulless, you know what I mean? Like meaningless, everyone in their own rooms, looking at devices,

not really having proper conversations, not really interrogating each other when they're obviously unhappy. It'll be, you know, a lot of avoidance. Yeah, you should write that movie. Yeah, okay. Have you written any movies? No, I've written none movies.

I've tried a few times. Yeah, it's not easy. It's really, have you? I'm working on one. And I've written one with my husband, and he writes too. But it's, well, you know what? You just have to tell yourself

that you can do it. Yeah, okay. Right? Sounds like you told yourself that you couldn't do it. And I think someone else told me. Who? Who is that? Not literally, but I've tried writing with other people.

My comedy partner, comedy wife, whatever you want to call them, Joe Cornish, he's written a few films. Okay. He made a film called Attack the Block. Did you ever see that? Oh, I love that movie.

There you go. Oh, my God. You're famous. Well, I'm famous by proxy. I have the fame of someone who is extremely envious when their comedy partner went off and actually wrote a fucking film. Wow, yeah. And I was like, oh no, I can't believe he's written a film and it's really good. You didn't think he had it in him.

No, I knew he had it in him, but I wanted to do it with him. That was always the plan. We were going to, we were going to do it together. But you were going to write that movie together or a movie? A movie, yeah. We were going to, we started writing like a. Comedy sci-fi movie. We wanted to write a funny movie.

Yeah. We need funny movies. I agree. I think you might want to jump back in. At some point. Is he like free to, are you guys, can you do it? Do you have an idea? Pitch it to me.

I've got a few ideas. Yeah. Well, my one idea that I think I've talked to someone else on this podcast about was a sort of lonely guy in space movie. Did you ever see the thing with Adam Sandler in it recently? Like, well, it was also a little bit like Hail Mary. I saw Hell Mary. Right, okay.

I mean, it's a genre, right? Bloke in space. Yeah. And I mean, now at this point, I think maybe there have been too many bloke in space films. Yeah. But my idea was to have something that was very homemade, low budget and quite crafty, you know, sort of Michel Gondry in space. Was that one with the one that was directed by David Bowie's son? Yeah, exactly.

What's it called? I can't even think of the lead actor who's in everything. Sam Rockwell. Yes. Man on the moon. What the hell is it called? Are you and I the same age? You know what?

I'm 48. Are you? How old are you? I'm 57. Cool. So it's crazy that we can relate at all. Hey, why don't you take your lonely man? Okay.

And stick him up to my house. No, no, well, not quite. Oh, that was the construction that you were going for. Pull him out of space, because we're all, like, tired of space. And put him in a crowded place. Put the loneliness in a crowded place. Oh. Like how we're all feeling these days anyway.

Okay. Take the lonely guy out of his spaceship, put him in the world. But the thing that I liked about the spaceship was that it's a very controllable environment. I think that's the attraction of that. concept for a director is you can keep it cheap, you know what I mean? And you don't need extras and it's all put them in a bunker. Yeah, yeah, an isolated environment in the real world. That would be quite good if you had a film about a bloke and you never actually saw the people around him. Okay, this is a good concept. Even he is in a family. Like it's not a lonely guy. Yes. He is someone

like me who is part of a actual family. But he's not connecting. But he's not connecting. But he's not connecting. Yeah. Because he's being, his efforts to connect are being frustrated by technology, by so many things we take for granted in the modern world, things that were supposed to connect us that have actually separated us in a lot of work. Yeah. Yeah.

This is good. Has anyone made that film? Like, surely someone's made that. This is the first time I'm hearing of it and it's blowing my mind. This is so good. I mean, the thing is that if someone did a good job on that, It would be amazing. That would be, I'd love to watch that film.

Well, call up Cornish. Yeah. He doesn't want to work with me anymore. Oh. I think I'm not good to work with. Oh, yeah. That's a thing. Yeah.

Have you written with other people before? Yes, yes. And what role do you take in the room? Well, I like to be pitching the ideas. Okay. And then. Walking around, playing with a pencil. Yes.

Getting excited. Just, you know, saying no to a lot of other people's ideas as soon as they come out because it's not my idea. Yeah. But then I am getting really good at collaborating in that like, especially writing a scene or whatever. I like to come up with the story and then I like to let my husband write the scenes. Because he has seven Emmys and he's... Jesus, where did he get his Emmys?

On the Daily Show. Okay. So he's really good at writing. Good work. Yeah. What's his name? Rich Blomquist. Okay.

You see, I would have found all this out if I had done my research. I'm finding out all this stuff. How was the writing done on Concordes? Like, who was the director? I did know the director. Well, James Bobin did a lot of directing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know James Bobin.

You know James? From back in the day. He's... I mean, I say I know him. I met him a couple of times. I think they live in Bath or something. Yeah. Yeah.

I had to kiss his sister in a scene once. I bet she's beautiful. She was very beautiful. Yeah. And then it was the first time I'd ever had to do that as an actor. And I didn't know what the protocol was. No one told me how to do it or what you're supposed to do or there was no kind of intimacy coordinator in those days or anything like that.

So we just had to have a kiss. Yeah. And I thought she was very pretty. So I just thought this is weird because what if she realizes that I think she's pretty and that I kind of like kissing her? Am I allowed to like kissing her? Yeah. If it's a professional thing and is that creepy?

And afterwards, I felt acutely embarrassed and self-conscious. And I didn't know what she was feeling. Do you know, does it, does it, does. I'm wondering how many takes did you do. How many times? We did a few. What was it for? It was a pilot for a show, which was eventually called the persuasionists.

Oh. It was about the advertising world. Well, I can tell you right now, you were definitely not in character. Or were you? Well, I think I was. Yeah, because your character wanted to kiss her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's fine.

Yeah, okay. I love kissing scenes. Whenever I get to kiss someone, I get very excited. Yeah. I was in a show called Last Man on Earth. Right. About a lonely man. And that, in that, I would kiss Will Ferte a lot.

And every time we had a sex scene, he would eat an omelet. of garlic and onions. And then I would come in with my bathroom and he'd be laying in the bed and he would be like, hello, Miss Blumquist. Just to sort of keep like respect, respect. Keep a professional. But it wasn't a real sex scene because the network wouldn't let us move our bodies because it was a comedy during prime time.

So all I could do was just sort of saddle him and make animal noises. It turned out to be kind of funny, though, to see a sex scene where no one's moving. Yeah. And was there an intimacy coordinator for that? No, it was before they were around. Okay. Have you done jobs since with an intimacy coordinator? I don't think so.

I don't usually get cast much, and then when I do, it's pretty to not touch people. My characters are usually people want to get away from them. Okay. Yeah, because I wonder. If now they would give you a little chat about how to kiss someone. Oh, yeah. What to do. It's pretty embarrassing.

I really thought that it was just going to be straightforwardly fun. I remember cycling to the set that day and thinking, I'm an actor and I'm going to kiss a beautiful woman today. This is fun. And then as soon as we were in the situation, I was like, oh, no, this is weird. And it's really embarrassing. And I'm not sure what the right thing to do here is. Yeah.

I mean, you said that you wanted to know what she thought. Yeah. Why didn't she just ask her? I did. Well, I sort of said, I said, was that okay? Yeah. And she was like, yeah, yeah, fine. But it seemed, I mean, it was difficult because it wasn't a great scene anyway.

Okay. So we both, I think, felt a little embarrassed by the material. Yeah, that your motivation was not there. What you wanted to say was, are you falling in love with me a little? Yeah, that's sort of. You. Yeah. But, Miss Bobin.

It wouldn't really have been appropriate because I was married. Oh. So, I mean, I wasn't. Oh. I don't know if this is. It's not going to make it in. This might all get cut. No, it was like, that's the thing.

It's like, there was no question of anyone falling in love with anyone. No. But it was just like, oh, here's a nice little bonus about being an actor. Sorry to use the word bonus. No, totally. It's in the Nathan Fielder show, if you've ever seen it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Where they're like, so you just get to make out with people and it's okay.

And yeah. Yeah, that's right. As long as they've eaten a lot of garlic. Yes. And onions. And made it absolutely clear that they're repellent. Here's a heavy question for you. In your worst fears, Kristen,

What might your colleagues at work be criticizing you for behind your back? Oh, yeah, I think they would, my worst fears is that I suck at acting. I'm annoying. I think that being annoying is probably. How are you annoying? I think that sometimes I get really enthusiastic and excited and just come out acting like, just a real dork. Why is it?

It's good to be enthusiastic and excited. I agree. This is my worst fear. Okay. And I'm thinking about colleagues that I obviously are not close or good friends of mine because I've been in jobs long enough where I feel there's nothing better than feeling completely accepted at all your levels of happiness and being annoying and being kind of bitchy and knowing that you're going to come back tomorrow and you're never going

lose them. But there's been other colleagues where I can tell it's a real delicate walk. And I usually try to contain and respect. But I could think that they would say I'm annoying. And they, what kind of people are they? Are they just sort of too cool for school or what? Yeah, I think, honestly, I think they're people who are feeling vulnerable. I find that something that's help me through this career when people are being unhappy at work, I realize that they're feeling very vulnerable. And as soon as I honed in on that, I'm like, oh, okay, that's what's masking that. They're actually a person who's feeling weak and this is what they do. And then I kind of feel like nurturing towards this person. And I feel better even though they're kind of being a dick.

Yes. Do you think that that's what's happening when actors lose it on set? And you know those videos of people going absolutely ballistic like Christian Bale on the set of Terminator Salvation. Yeah. You know that one? Yeah, I've heard it. It's bad. Yeah. I love Christian Bail so much though. He's one of my favorites. Yeah, well, I mean, the thing is that everyone who has worked with him, none of them have a bad word to say about it. Right, right. They just were saying that, you know, it was tough set, stressful shoot. It happens. It happens, yeah.

I don't think I would do something like that because I would never be free enough. Oh, interesting, right. He's letting, like, all his ids and, you know, he's in this flow. He's, like, lost himself. Yeah. That's a good point. I would bottle it up and just be passive aggressive for a few days. Did they like that kiss?

What do I feel about that kiss? Exactly. It still asks me. The question I just asked you in your worst fears, what might your colleagues be criticizing you for behind your back? Came from a book of sort of psychology and questions about psychology. And it says beneath that question, there is no point being squeamish here.

Your fears are correct. Anything you might suspect others might think is already a reality. The point is not to escape such imagined gossip, but to take gracious. measures to deal with its almost certain existence. Wow. That goes against this belief that I've been really relying on, which is that nobody cares more about you than you.

But I think that's also true. Okay. I think that both things can be true. Like there can be truth to some of your worst fears and you may have identified them for good reasons. But it is also the case that actually so. what, it doesn't really matter. Like to the other people, it is not a significant issue.

No one is going around saying, you know, Kristen Schaal is so annoying to work with because she's really enthusiastic. I just don't believe anyone is saying that. Maybe they don't like the sound of my voice. Now, look, let's talk about the sound of your voice, which you've referred to a couple of times in a disparaging way. Oh, right. I love the sound of my voice.

It's brought me a lot of good fortune. Well, exactly. It's great. Yeah, it's good. Because it's also fairly adaptable, right? You can take it to different places and... A little bit. It's mostly just this.

And it has brought you into an amazing world of opportunities and parts and... This is my wife calling. Well, are you going to pick up? I mean, after that kissing story, you better pick up. She's like, are you coming back... Yeah. Are you coming back to Norwich? Okay.

Oh, no. I've missed it now. Oh. She's gone to voicemail. Adam, when you come back to Norwich, just so you know, we're eating at 1020.

Oh, she's phoning again. Oh, this must be bad. Hi, I'm recording at the moment. I'm recording with Kristen Schall. Hi. And that's okay. And she said, the first time you phone, and I said, oh, it's my way.

And she said, you better get it. I said, no, I'm just going to let it go to voicemail. But she said, I bet she's calling to ask you if you're coming back to Norwich tonight. This is a good American accent. And she's right. Kristen, that's exactly why she was calling. I'm not coming back to Norwich tonight.

I'm coming back tomorrow morning. Okay. I love you, bye. Thank you. You've got to keep that in the podcast. It's so fun. It'll be delightful, me being pleasant on the phone. What would your fantasy review say?

This is another career question. You know, I actually, already got it. I don't remember I was looking through some old articles or something old and it was when I was doing stand-up when I was young, you know, and I had this real drive in me that was kind of unrealistic, which was that I wasn't going to do the same set. When I went to another venue, I would do a completely new set. Like I was just, I didn't want anyone to see me repeat. Like I always wanted them to see what I did and it would be a surprise. Oh my God. Were you making stuff up or did you just have a big pool?

No, I wasn't making it up. I was writing it and it was it wasn't traditional stand-up either. It was like kind of sketchy characters, you know, doing different acting like, oh, I thought I thought this was a poetry slam, you know, stuff like that. And in the long run, it didn't make me better at stand-up because I wasn't honing any jokes or making them better. And I just remember, I don't know who wrote it, it was a stranger. I don't even remember where I read it, but someone said, you know, I've seen her at these different places and she's always doing something different, you know, like someone happened

to witness it because I was saying, no one would have known I was doing it. So one person noticed it and that's just enough. I was like, that made me filled my whole chest with a warm feeling of like, okay. Yeah. Because I couldn't get any good comedy specials from it, you know. I wasn't like climbing the ladder like you were supposed to. I was kind of torpedoing myself. Yeah.

Because every time you're starting from scratch essentially, you can't kind of polish that bit, which is the, that's the model really for a lot of comedians, right? Is that they just hone, especially in the States, it feels like. They get 20 minutes and they just polish and polish and polish until it is solid gold. Yeah. And then the person gets to see that set. They're going to see a fucking great set. You know?

Yeah. Anyways, I never did that. I agree. I felt like that too. I mean, I didn't do that much live comedy stuff, but I always felt like I had to do something different or write a new thing. And it was always bad because of that, because I hadn't given it time to bear in. Every now and again, it would be okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It would go well. You'd have a sympathetic crowd. But more often than not, it would be like, oh, no, of course it's bad. You only just wrote it an hour ago. Yeah. But isn't it surprising? Yeah, yeah.

So new. Have you had a bit of criticism either from a reviewer or on under a YouTube video or something like that that stuck in your head? You know, when they first started doing it, I did. And I don't even remember what it was anymore. Dmitri Martin and I were discussing it. And he pointed out that like, you know, human nature is that you look for the snake, you know. Because I remember when I read it, I was like, there's all these good things.

And I only picked the one, and it was all I thought about. So when you put it in that perspective, that's just how you're, what is it, Amy Degala. Amygdala? Amygdala, that's just your amygdala. Then I was like, okay. I like Amy DeGala, though. I know. Well, yeah, we're trying to, that could be the name of your.

Yeah. I was going to say, for writing this new show, because I think making a show is harder to the more famous you get. You know, I'm not that famous. at all. I'm going where I want. But like, you can't be a girl who thought she was at a poetry slam anymore. And that really threw me for a long, long time about how to, how to do it. And I just kind of froze in creating stuff for years, and especially having a kid. That also, it's not her fault, but it was like, oh, I'm busy. But I realized when I started, really wanted to write this again, that I was saying the meanest things.

I could possibly say to myself. And so whatever happens when this comes out, whatever reviews I get, it doesn't matter, it can't be worse. I dare them to say anything worse than I haven't already thought. So that actually emboldened me. I'm like, okay, well, then fine.

You lived, you said the worst thing's possible and you still want to do the show? Cool, all right. And that's the worst things you're telling yourself in the process of putting it together? Yeah, in the process. Things that you think people would criticize it for once it came out. Yeah, and they might.

And they might. We've only done it eight times. So I hope they don't, but it's fine. I don't care. Also, I say, like, if you watch it and you don't like it, I feel like there's still a service that I was able to do, which is hone your taste. Right? Like, oh, I hated that.

Yeah. And I really like this, you know? Or if you watch it and you love it, cool. I mean, I like to do things that are a little weird. And another great comment that I got after sort of experimenting with it at a small club one night is a comedian. A new comedian came up to me and she was like, I didn't know you could do weird stuff like that. And I was like, oh, you can. And please do.

Like more, more, please. I mean, now I'm feeling like a real jerk. But if it's inspiring in any way, even if it inspires you to never want to make anything like it, then I'm, then I feel like it's worth it. It's worth it at the end of the day. I agree with you. To see something that is at least trying to be different. Yeah.

Even if it doesn't work, it's sort of more satisfying than seeing something that is absolutely safe and very polished. Exactly. I don't know if this thing is fully baked. I like half-baked things. What's nicer than a cookie that is chewy in the middle? There's some dough. There's probably some dough, but I got to put it out. Yeah.

I said cookie there to accommodate you as an American. Normally I would say biscuit. Oh my God. And I would just think of a dog treat. Thank you. I listened to a couple of Maria Bamford's audiobooks. She is absolutely self-lacerating about some of her experiences of going out and gigging. Yeah.

And the heckles that she got. And like touring in England particularly, she's got some real horror stories. Oh, no. Yeah. Am I stressing you out? Yes. Especially in London, that's when they really all mean things. They're going to be so pleased to see you.

What's your family with you throughout the run that you're doing? They'll see the first show in Edinburgh and then they're going to peel off. But I really wanted to bring Ruby to my daughter to Edinburgh to see, like, it's been so long since I've been there. But I think it's got the same vibe, which is like everybody's making art. That was what's so empowering. too, you know, I know like the industry keeps constricting, right? Everybody's talking about it. And it's constricting for longer than I thought it would and tighter than we all imagined. But you can put a show up. Like that's what the friend taught me. And you can put a show up in a bathroom

and hand out flyers. And that's your show. And, you know, it's so empowering and it's so valuable. even just like when I got in touch with people about putting a show up here, the conversation wasn't like in the States. It's like, well, why are you doing this? You're trying to get it on Netflix, you know? The conversation was, it was about the development. Just making live theater was important. I feel like people in the United Kingdom take better care of that. Oh, well, that's good.

I mean, I'm sure there's the, there's definitely. the kind of more careerist aspect of the industry that is here as well. I mean, it's, yeah, it has to be. But you talked about the industry sort of constricting over in the US. How does that manifest itself? How do you characterize that? Well, a lot of my friends are moving, you know, out of Los Angeles, you know, or they're leaving New York.

Like, there's no work. There's no jobs. Because shows, like, for example, comedy shows aren't being commissioned in the same volume. Yeah, there's half the TV shows are getting made this last couple years, half. So most of my friends, my husband, they're all writers. Like, those are the people that I like hang out with the most. There's no jobs. And that's happening. Why? I don't know. Tell me. I know. I don't know. I think it's because of technology is ruining everything, which is going to, you know, dovetel back into your film. I think why it hurts so much is that there was a real golden age of work where the streamers

were competing for content and everybody was getting to make shows. Everybody was writing. Everybody was acting. I was so excited, oh, you got your first job. Good. You got that fast. That's great. You know, like, yes. And this was about six years ago. Yeah. Yeah. And then they stopped. You know, they changed the model. They didn't need that. They were losing money. The gamble didn't pay off or whatever. Or they got what they needed.

I don't know. I don't know what happened. I suppose they found out that a lot of those shows were not financially viable, that they could get the same amount of attention from a stand-up special that was easy to film. Yeah. And that became the kind of dominant model. Sketch shows are always very expensive because there's so many different sets. Sets and makeup.

And. etc. Yeah, anything that's expensive that has lots of people and writers and that's all being paired right back. I mean, that's the same in the UK as well. Yeah. I don't like it. No.

Currently over here, it's shows that have a cast and so it'll be a panel show idea and they'll get sort of between six and 12 people together, funny people, comedians or whatever, and they'll cast it and they'll shoot a load of episodes in one day. You know what I mean? You've got your central idea. And, I mean, it's quite cheap to film. The comedians do well out of it because they get a decent fee to do that. So they just film loads.

They film for a whole day and then make eight episodes out of it or whatever. That's one of the most boring sentences I've ever said, I think. Are you serious? Well, you should keep it. Yeah, okay. Oh, I got to go. How are you going to get there? A cab?

How do I get it? get one. I'll get you an Uber. Oh, thanks. Are you sure? It's going to cut, no, no, no, it'll cost too much. No, no. Are you getting a lot of ad money for this? Not this one, but for others. I'm getting enough that I can get you an Uber. While I'm ordering the Uber, think about the answer to this question. Okay. What three things slash products in your life consistently deliver for you, brackets, not deliveroo. But three things in my life, constant. deliver? Yeah, like never let you down. You love them. You keep coming back to them. Oh, that's fun. See, now I want to say alcohol, but not that's, then I'll be like, and now she's dead. Three things. That always

make me happy. You can rely on it. It always does the job. I'll give you an example. For me, it is guerrilla tape. Oh, I got one. You got one? I have a backpack that was given to me probably 12 years ago, oh my God, it's such a good backpack. It's traveled the world. I bring it everywhere. The zipper has never broken, but if it does, it's got a lifetime warranty. It's not fraying. It's not like, you know, it is on the more expensive side, but you won't buy another one. You know what I mean? So my backpack. Why is it so good? Because it's got different compartments. Well, it has, it's durable and it has the, yeah, the right amount of, you learn to adapt to whatever the compartments offer you. Yeah. The other thing is, and I should have, I didn't bring it, but it's a

raincoat. I got it in Seattle. It's also made in Japan. This is a raincoat. I wear it in a pouring rain. I'm completely dry. And the water is like rolling off me like a duck's back. It's so good. And it doesn't get too sweaty? That's the thing. It does make me a little hot. Okay. So I can't wear it to New Orleans, you know, during a rainstorm? Yeah. I think, you know, I've had to think about this because we had such bad fires last year where lots more friends of mine lost their homes than that way. And it was this thing where it's like, wow, you're going to lose all your stupid stuff.

What's not stupid enough that you're going to be sad about? Okay, yeah. Well, this is exactly the question. I thought I'd grab that raincoat. You know? Yeah, perfect. Have you got one more? Oh, and my undies.

They're called Thunderpants. I don't know if you can get them here. They're made in Portland and New Zealand, and they just really cover everything. They're made by women, Thunderpants. I'll always plug them. Continue. Back podcats. That was Kristen Schall talking to me there before the interlude.

And it was very nice to be able to hang out and talk to Kristen a little bit longer than I have done in the past. I met her a couple of times very briefly, but this was really our first opportunity to talk properly. Although, I could have talked to her for a lot longer. Maybe she'll come back. I hope she will one day. And I can ask her about Bob's Burgers and BoJack Horseman and The Last Man on Earth and her stand-up comedy. And, you know, we talked a bit about that, I guess. But she's really funny.

If you ever get the opportunity to see her live, I would take it. I've put a few links to some of her stand-up bits in the description. Watching them again today really made me laugh. Actually, one of the times we did meet before, although I don't know if I got the chance to talk to her properly, was when I was on a bill at the 100 Club years ago, like 2011 or thereabouts, I might be totally off about that, but it was around that era.

And David Cross, the American comedian, was in London doing a series of shows at the 100 Club, and he invited lots of friends along to perform, mainly Americans, actually. It was a little gang that he came over with. I just looked it up and it says, David Cross and Friends was June 2007. Blimey. Was it that long ago? And he had with him appearing every night that week. Todd Barry, amazing comedian appearing, Kristen Schall, Eugene Merman.

The new pornographers were playing, maybe not every night. And then he had British guests of which I was one. Simon Munnery, I think, did one. Can't remember who else was on. Anyway, I was on the bill one night. I did a character thing Famous guy maybe And afterwards we all went for a Chinese meal

In Soho And I got into a weird conversation With David Cross about taking heroin He'd been talking about having taken it On stage And I was saying It sounded bad And he was saying, that's not that bad actually

I was saying Yeah, I think it is bad And I ended up feeling quite conservative. But you know what? And I'm really sorry if this is disappointingly square. But I'm sticking with my conviction that heroin is to be avoided. All right?

There you go. I'm putting it out there. Fuck it. Anyway, all of that meant that I didn't really talk to Kristen that night. Don't know how Kristen feels about heroin. Maybe it's a question of don't take it after 5pm by the way

speaking of all that meal time stuff and the potential health benefits I had a quick look on the internet afterwards and it says yeah it's generally a good thing to eat less in the evenings

good for the gut good for digestion good for sleep etc but if you're thinking about it in terms of weight loss. It's not the be-all and end-all. It's more important to eat a healthy meal of non-processed food at whatever time you can, rather than stuff yourself with snacks, thinking that as long as you do it before 6pm, it won't count. Okay, I have done that once or twice, but I try not to do it anymore. Thank you so much, though, to Kristen Schall for coming along.

It was great to sit down with her. Thank you very much indeed. to my podcast production team, Claire Broughton and Diggery Wait, who look after the Patreon page as well. Don't forget to go and explore all the bonus stuff that we have waiting for you on the Patreon page. There's a link in the description. Thanks very much to Seamus Murphy Mitchell as well for his production support. Thanks to everybody at Acast for liaising with my sponsors. Much appreciated.

Thank you to Helen Green for her beautiful artwork. But thank you most of all to you for listening, for coming back, for telling all your friends. Hey, you know what? A lot of these other podcasts are more visible and make more noise. But there's one that I really, really love, that I always come back to, that I listen right to the end of. And I really want to recommend it to you. It's called The Joe Rogan Experience. Ah, come on, we have fun, don't we?

Speak for yourself. Come on, Rosie, you have fun. You're going to get a treat when you get back, not just a scratch, but an actual stinky stick from your special treat box. And speaking of treats, come here. Good to see you. Thanks a lot for coming back. You smell so nice. What is that fabric softener that you use?

Until the next time that we share the same oral space. Please go carefully because it's ludicrous out there. And for what it's worth, I love you. Okay? Bye!