The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - 16

And welcome to come town you fucking peace is a shit this is come town what number 14 anybody it's either 15 or 16 I think okay either come down either 15 or 16 sorry for the delay we were recording an hour of rape specific podcasts every day and they all got deleted we were talking in the car whoa yeah fuck fuck sorry guys you have a we have a very special guest we're here with the come boys Nick of course Adam and we have Twitter personality and professional snap chatter we have one of my favorite DJs up there DJ snake I only know three DJs and two of them

cuckolded me so I love DJ Tiesto because his name always sounds like one of those like off-brand Korean knockoff television like they made toasters for suddenly it's like why you got a Tiesto laptop I got I got cucked in a visa you would probably get cucked in a visa by Avicii down yes our boy Brandon I do it I do it for the content of course Avicii that guy's his name looks like Roman numerals yeah yeah keep going on DJ's I'll do a bit low dip low shove that in your ass how do you feel about Skrillex Skrillex would that sounds like a version of Scrabble if you're an even bigger nerd DJ mouse

which is named dead mouse dead mouse that's that's how those books about the Holocaust with the guy dying wait the book is that they should have gotten the mouse rather than lives oh I see in my my alternate directors cut mouse those are great those are really good the only comic books I've ever read mouse and spawn similar themes they're doing all the comic books once about a guy that went to hell and the other ones about a guy that should go to hell yeah they're gonna I mean they're gonna run out of comic books and need to make the mouse they're gonna make an all-girl Holocaust yeah mini

mouse girl hitler all mini-mouses I have Leslie Jones Leslie Jones I wish she would change her bio what's her bio I'm a stand-up comedian oh really yeah respect respect for people type I'm in this stand-up comedian and I just feel like during the harassment I feel like she should maybe change the bio to you're right Brandon she was asking for it by having your folks wrong with her putting the I'm a stand-up comedian no I'm M oh I'm yeah like it she just has like she's had a typo okay well I guess she does deserve it I mean yeah we get it you think she deserves it yeah fine dude by the way Brandon why were you

saying the n-word so much in the car over here yeah he was really fucked up Brandon why does your car have a vanity plate that's just the end with an extra R on the end did we make a joke about rolling it last yeah that's a great joke and you roll it on did you roll it I can't roll ours I don't know how to roll can you try can you try to say with a you actually why don't you roll don't you do it why don't you teach me I have tried the previous podcast so that's why we have you here to show me how to do it the whole the whole goal is podcast is to get you to say the end every just specifically you

yeah it would come just to ruin your career well that's the thing we do with everyone has to say the n-word when they come on listen to ruin his career or to take his career to the next level we'll see what do you think it would do if you said the n-word on this podcast yeah I think it would I don't think it would uh I don't think it would help after after I accidentally got credit for for the Matt Reif stuff for when like people started like other people started like Brandon I'm proud of you like Brandon very good job very good job exposing this man what did I literally all that have mayor of Baltimore basically

what happened I just imagine him like delicately eating Doritos listening to Spotify yeah good job Brandon eating it remember when he posted the black whopper it was hilarious dude he posted so much whopper um my man's a shield so when that happened like literally all that happened is I posted a tweet where I was like look at this dumb ass like Instagram with Kyle Massey where he used like a bunch of dumb hashtags and then I like posted another tweet where I was like making fun of like more Instagram pictures and he's essentially just like I told you like we were talking about it on the phone and I was like he's like me

if I never discovered irony yeah oh yeah hot you so like Brandon he's so hot bad for people that don't know but if Matt Reif is this mayo ass cracker cry laughing emoji white boy can we get a clap back for Matt Reif oh no this podcast is pro not supporting Brandon and pro Matt Reif yeah Nick said his DJ Khaled bit was good that was wild it's an okay bit that's the kind of that joke works it fucking works it works at while it works it like he's wilding out oh but yeah so I was just like making fun of like a guy being corny on Instagram and then he tried to fight me in the valley hilarious which was like hilarious so

good but then other people started like exposing him like just searching when he was like searching words and like and then like from his account yeah and so like all these people started posting that and then complex wrote an article that just like basically credited it to me like they were like Brandon wordell exposed you're an old you're an old tweet exposure and then and then a bunch of like a bunch of literally retarded literally gay and retarded in the logo kites a complex literally retarded so then like a bunch of a bunch of like popping feminists we're like in my DMs being like great job exposing this man

and I was like ah yes thank you I definitely I meant to do that yeah I wasn't just making fun of a corny guy I know yeah which is crazy the feminists DM'd you because like on the car right over here you're saying how you think the wage gap is good we should actually increase yeah I mean I think by the way women more money for sure we should pay women more money but we should also then pay men even more money exactly yeah just more money just to reiterate though that was not a joke from Brandon wordell everyone he actually thinks we should increase the gap anyway let's keep

talking guys boy so did you fight Matt right for oh yeah I wish you would have gotten I don't have a car he would he wanted to fight in north Hollywood I live on the east side I'm not gonna if you if you came to pay for this motherfucker claiming transportation I'm not gonna pay was there really a beat up he didn't fight him that guy would erect your ass sure it's like three dudes in the background but like yeah well I know you just see that like just a sliver of an arm of like his black friend yeah this is my man just in case because he just in case but if that guy comes to your house you're not fighting him why

would he come to my house are you gonna see him at the laugh factory I've never been to the laugh but that's where they make the laughs the Baltimore comedy factory they're like what do we name our club they're like how close can we get to laugh back before it's copyright infringement that place sucks dude yeah it's the improv they're in a fucking travel plaza at a Greyhound bus station that's the funniest shit in the world because that's where that shithole Chinatown bus drop off like when I went to do my goobies or some one night or it let me off at that hotel there's a sign like here's the comedy factory I

was like the fuck yeah I went in there I'm like did they did they open a second club in the lobby they're like no this is the club now just a shitty it's like a fucking some very shitty hotel yeah it used to be like a dinner theater is they should be shitty versions of like grease that's like right by your house yeah very close to yeah but yeah it's fucking it's a horrific spot and Alabama is there and he's a hack and he he like he's like the house comedian feature yet comedian Alabama who got who got motorboated by Tim heckle and one of the best again Tim heckle shout out yeah where is he in

Baltimore so he's out of the carolinas the beach bit is my favorite Santa comedy you weren't there for that he just went on stage one time I don't think it was a bit the thing is like Tim can't come up with bits he's just so funny so who'll go on stage should be like all right I'll be funny for a minute and I'll start doing material and I'll crush and then he starts doing jokes he's like off they got macaroni and cheese what if it was like you know I don't know what if it was syrup instead cheese you guys can't think he had some he had a good super s-bit and it ended with like fingering a being a

six-year-old that's fingering another six-year-old which I'm all for yeah getting fingered in a cubby or something it's pretty funny yeah he's he's ridiculous but yeah he just went on stage one time he's like what up what the fuck is up dude I am a straight-up beach bomb okay I fucking am a beach bomb I love the beach Ocean City where's a beer fauna let and go hang out with my bros Rehoboth gay it up I'll suck a dude's dick people are giving him just listing beaches just listening beaches and then getting hyped about regional mid-atlantic beaches it sounds like the mid-atlantic Beach Brody Stevens

actually kind of similar yeah he's got a couple vibes he's got a little Brody vibes but yeah for the for the phone we're talking about Rehoboth go get gay on the beach yeah I love gay it up gay it up I'll suck a dick Rehoboth you guys don't know Rehoboth is a beach notoriously homosexual yeah in Delaware Delaware right where Delaware goes to get ocean Parkway in Ocean City like that main the main road yeah drive up and then once you cross like I don't know a hundred and tenth Street or whatever it is you're in Delaware you're in Rehoboth yeah I don't fucking know we went there what I think I told this story but he

went there once when I was a little kid and everyone thought the European like our friends from Germany these Greeks in Germany were wearing speedos and I was like they're gay that's that's the whole story what about you guys so anyway we went to Rehoboth Beach once when I was young and we went with some friends from Europe and they're wearing speedos and everyone assumed they were gay well it attaches the speedos attached to your foreskin yeah exactly it was just they wrapped they tied a speedo around their dicks that's really a bow I don't think I've ever been to Rehoboth it's nice dude we should go Ocean City like an average

foreskin how long what do you mean like if you stretched it like 13 and a half inches yeah like a small yeah on the small side they run 13 yeah mine's about 17 oh yeah I've got a foreskin you know I'm fucking oh naturally Europe I'm gonna start measuring my dick in picas in what in picas is that a unit of that there's some like other standard yeah that's like that's like six tenths of an inch or some shit really interesting yeah I forget what it is brand if I had a if I had an uncircumcised dick or well everyone knows you have a half circumcised thing yeah you think it's half circumcised yeah my

dick basically is why do you think that would be off-brand dude because you're cuz I'm I'm like a like a little twink oh that's true do not have that I have no like we can be cut on cut it wouldn't make sense for my look you're right it'd be it's cleaner to have an yeah dick yeah I like to be a little sloppy around the edges you know what I mean well so that's a parent you have an uncircumcised body I would love to get my body circumcised I want to get I want to get that surgery that Asian people get to make their eyes look not Chinese yeah but I want it so I look extra not China is your eyeballs out of your skull wide

open at all times Roger Rabbit people are like you look so not Chinese oh my god thank you I just got the procedure if you get any plastic surgery what would you get you had to get one procedure rhinoplasty obviously yeah yeah yeah Jesus Craig oh my god look at this thing it's getting bigger too I feel like that's I feel like that's I kind of like having a big nose though big part of who you are yeah I know I kind of like it I would not with your nose have I ever put your nose in a pussy yes of course of course why not yeah but I mean like really a couple pumps fully yeah the classic ever since I heard butt licking is

acceptable yeah of course so from behind do you how often do you eat us if if she won't it won't it and if it doesn't smell a bad yeah I'll do it give it a couple swipes or not even no one time I was listening to the Dan Savage podcast like this is like five years ago and he gets this call for like this you could tell just like thin moustache old gay man with the crew you know just one of those guys over the phone and he's just rubbing against the speaker I did every time I I like my boyfriend's asshole I smell a little bit of shit and I feel like it gets me a little bit high yeah he's like is that a thing is that like a

sex thing hi hi he feels like he gets like a little high for Jankham yeah yeah yeah Africa's chief export national the Africa went to the Olympics for Jankham so only thing they do there I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell all the teens that follow me to do Jankham they're doing that in Florida I heard do you remember that like news story that will always pop up like yo in Florida kids smell poo like every six months there's one extremely off the Jankham what did a what did a brand has to tweet every 15 minutes by the way where he has already died or yeah yeah it's like speed it's like the movie speed

yeah what it's alarms every 15 minutes in his sleep he wakes up and he's just like Arthur me Harabi Arthur me but you think happy chat Harabi do you think you could get how easy would it be to get it should we just make a brand wordel algorithm and I tweet from his account when he whatever he says with me yeah and he leaves his laptop he he leaves his laptop apartment I'll just like tweet from his account it'll get like a hundred fifty like yeah I don't I don't I don't want to GF I want to fuck a fuck Pikachu yeah yeah I remember like a couple of people have pointed it out but like all the shit that you tweet now

like regularly is like shit that you would if you like had stolen somebody's account the shit you would put on their account you can't tell if somebody were to hack my account because like you hack yourself like be like yeah I want to give Hank Hill the suck well you could tell if if I hacked his account there's a specific word immediately all of them unfollow me and then he loses three followers you guys check out my mug damn comedy not by the oh yeah Nick Mullen television writer television writer of comedy knockout true TV's own Nick Mullen yeah actually yes please watch the show so it gets picked up

for a third season maybe we'll have me back there we go I can buy more power tools yeah Nick's not gonna get evicted I'm done I'm done with the the power tools you're done you think I can't even see where they are right now well I built on a shelf I built cubbies to hide everything yeah your room just looks like a fucking well that's you want that's the goal turn your life into a POW camp I was looking at up to put a fan in that hole in the wall because you know like a there's no privacy and be yeah the air conditioning isn't really getting there so I was looking at like industrial exhaust fans and what a racket

they're all like you know just to get something that fits in there it's like one was like $700 Jesus and it was listed as explosion proof which I wasn't even worried about with a regular fan but now that I know that fans can explode yeah well then I guess I need to know this thing that like I think it might be Korean people like don't Korean fan death don't sleep with the ceiling fans they think it sucks all the oxygen out of they think you can die from yeah that's like a thing that everyone in Korea yeah holy shit and their language is also a bunch of circles and rectangles so they don't know

shit anyways I'm I say I'm young I say I'm young I say yeah that's all right that's what have you ever seen their light their language their written language looks looks like a drunk person trying to draw Legos I mean that's what they I mean all the no Korean is specifically okay the rest of them like Chinese is you know there's some swoops in there box mostly straight lines as boxy and stuff and then Japanese is like more fun you know it's like there it is and then the Korean emoji language the Korean one basically looks like machine code like the matrix yeah like if we discovered

like you know like some piece of technology from the 50s like landed on the moon somehow and developed its own society that's what could the Korean language would look like is that robot moon language yeah that's actually where the term comes from all Asian people are from the moon also what is it the deal with Korea where like when you're in bed with the guy that you're hooking up with you're sending nudes to other guys what's the deal with you guys know that no no what's that never mind did you fuck just my life just my life man oh yeah I think I think that's a Korean I thought you meant to Korean manage things

no no she was sending nudes that I'm watching these dudes laying next to me in bed that's a turbo cut yeah yeah that's a turbo I'm voting for Trump basically get them out get them out no I'm just I'm a I'm a cucklord now and I'm voting for are you still fucking that girl no it's over but I got a cool jacket out of it so we should all vote for Tom Myers that's the only thing that I'll feel happy about I would love to vote for Tom I'm voting for Tom my we should for real get Tom I was to do a regular segment on the podcast I've said this news Tom Myers news minute Norman Norman Wilkerson found Tom I was

acting real and sent it to me oh no we don't yeah yeah it's the best his well it's different yeah yeah the priest one is the one I'd seen this is a new one that Norman wait there's another one yeah one set so much the like public access one oh yeah that's the trademark that's the edge trader there is there is a public access one I've seen it's the greatest stand-up comedy there's that and then there's the high-end scare you mother fuckers yeah the two best if the guy that makes T-shirts is listening the guy that made the brand in t-shirt if you want no pressure but if you could make a shirt with Tom Myers's face and

it says bong hit transplant please yes please that should be the I would wear that yeah I would I would wear that and it does yeah baby says come town real small on the bottom it doesn't matter as long as it's just Tom Myers and it says bong hit transplant yeah fuck yeah and that should just be our merch and you could probably make money yeah also if anyone out there knows how to draw or you're an illustrator if you can draw Tom Myers taking a bong hit out of Hillary Clinton's pussy that would be perfect that would be really great anything any Tom Myers related art go crazy Tom Myers fan art is exactly what

we want if we even have any listeners we probably lost everyone yeah because we took a week off so we got so we're fucked yeah that's how that ends hopefully we never have to do this again how long was the Glazer run was that one that was one episode one episode yeah oh yeah so we know we take a week off we took a week off after just a heart a rape Aaron yeah and I guess he probably did it oh yeah of course Nick well here's here's what sealed the deal for me well he's so he got an attorney and like the lawyer is the lawyer like the same girl the right side the same other wrote that revelas article like asked for comment

the attorney was like well basically what we're doing now yeah because this is none of this is true is we're waiting to see what UCB has to say to us and then we're gonna decide if there's gonna be a lawsuit or not and it's like oh so you met with Aaron and he was probably like well I kind of rape those girls like okay well we'll see if they say anything fucked up and if they did well like they're like just trying to see yeah what information you see of course because there's a thing if like UCB had said I rape somebody I would immediately I wouldn't if you see me had said it yeah well yeah some fucking or well if

anybody did it to the extent like if it was just some fucking crazy you know nut job it'd be like yeah that's not true and I wouldn't worry about it but it was like an organization with like some credibility I would absolutely try to sue them no matter why oh because I did it you know what I mean right right but if it's like well exactly if you don't sue someone when they say yeah rape someone and here's a thing here's the truth that he got a job writing for the next season Amy Schumer or not Aaron was a girl's name it's only fair but here's what I'm doing with that situation because like you know at the same way you

should encourage victims to go to the police you should encourage victims of defamation to actually fucking sue the people accusing them of shit and if they're not gonna do it well then maybe they're lying so I'm still victim blaming yeah you're still finding a way I yeah so I haven't changed my opinion he's not yeah you're not actually victim blaming your rapist blaming no I'm victim blaming Aaron for not fucking suing UCB for lying about him so you so maybe they're not lying I wish Brandon was saying this so I could be like what is that Brandon yeah so anyway Brandon why are you nodding and being like yes

everything they say why are you helping everything anyway no more rape unless we all rape Brandon on the podcast right now would that be a good part but the response to all that shit is still been bullshit no I mean like fucking all these people angry a curt oh I mean he shouldn't or an angry at Amy I like putting in that position I mean they Amy talking about it on Charlie yeah yeah oh really I didn't even see that oh it's it yeah I mean Kurt shouldn't have fucking I mean the just like people should have more empathy when shit like this happens is the only thing he shouldn't have fucking how do you know

he doesn't have any empathy you expressed an opinion about like not jumping to conclusions originally well the fucking saying like good hole and shit like like just the way was the good phrase y'all the phrasing he used the phrase theology yeah yeah it's just like his phrase y'all he was all types most of his Facebook posts with his penis yeah I was saying Kurt always sounds like like somebody repeating themselves to a deaf person oh no what I said was do you know what but I do think it's fucked when people are like yeah fuck it now that he has been like yeah I fucked up and I whatever like now people like oh it's

like now they're taking a big yeah yeah yeah what the fuck else do you want from the guy fucked up he admitted it and now he's open yeah he shouldn't have said in the first because they want to have like they want to scold people that's what they live for it has nothing to do with it he said that like he got in a fight with one of his girlfriends like what like 15 years ago you got what you got like a physical altercation with his girlfriend when she like destroyed all the story on Marin but like people still like bring that up right yeah yeah well some piece of shit at heavy wrote this article that was like five fast

facts about Karen Margo girl that was crazy about about Karen's girl yeah and Karen said nothing and then there's a big picture of Karen and then underneath that it says this is the girlfriend of the man that blamed victim you know some shitty some awful website shitty cotton didn't they say something like she's Jewish yeah well then they framed it in a way where they're like her dad's a Zionist so it wasn't even like she's Jewish it's like it's yeah she's pro apart one of the bad Jews yeah well occupation pro yeah yeah and then the fact of having a boyfriend fact number four was that Kurt you know choked another

girl friend nice that's a good fact that has nothing to do with Karen well well Brandon's well we've moved on from that topic yeah Brandon's also committed like acts of violence yeah it's women isn't that right Brandon most of most of Brandon's stand-up acts could technically be classified as violence against Brandon raped an infant at Wonderland in front of all at Wonderland ballroom rape it just if you agree just don't say anything and then he texted Andy Kimler laugh and it was like Andy is this funny and he's like I don't know what's going on I was yeah I saw I saw don't breathe last night

let's go breathe it's like a horror movie oh yeah I enjoyed it a lot do you guys know about that no no okay topic number two moving on here's my review is fantastic go see it nice man thanks Sully have you seen it it's okay next time no it looks fucking horrific why does it look horrific so it just looks like a fucking face what makes Eastwood makes good movies Sully like is it like a Boston movie it's Tom Hanks being the guy nice guy named Sully from Southeast Sully South okay cool hey where's the Clint Eastwood movie yeah he's like these gooks are

right damn he's like turns his co-pilot he's like this is where Obama should be sitting it's empty yeah Nick and I we used to walk around Chinatown doing the grand terino voice you're laughing me and Amber and Felix were laughing the other night about like about like the older you know like old back when before it was I mean not before it was trans but when you could still say cross-dresser because some people were just cross-dressers right and like I used to work in a mall and early in the morning there used to be like two separate old guys that were like cross-dressers but there are those types where they like yeah we're

probably in World War two yeah and then at 67 they're years old they're like fuck it I'm wearing a dress yeah yeah yeah yeah we were laughing about trans terino trans terino is really good I love it what the fuck are you spooks up to what are you spooks up to an Irish guy a Jew and a black walk into the bathroom at Target and then Caitlin says get the fuck out and then he and then there were him and the other guy laugh and then they say each other's dick says get the fuck out that's pretty good yeah no I think that was a good good good sketch yeah I really I was

bitching I was saying they should bring back mad TV on Facebook they already did it I know it fucking yeah I saw I you know what I looked at a picture of the cast and they were smiling too much and I was like yeah this isn't gonna be fun good fucking wasn't the writing staff like the final season like all of old comedy it was like Patton Oswell and like it was like I the first switch back and forth for mr. show and Mattie Blaine Capach yeah they had to know that they had good shit we didn't we talk about this already key and peel yeah we definitely talked about this already yeah we sucked off mad TV before yeah

it's my favorite show my favorite show is Golden Girls at Golden Girls is a good show it's good show you say that as a joke but Golden Girls is actually no I like it quality good I've been watching it a lot it's on the Hallmark channel the nanny great show is the nanny good no no mr. chef we're talking about Chinese name oh he's such a fear I wanted to I mean I beat off to her so much in the nanny like all those dumb like friend fucking cheetah print and like oh my god I love her I definitely very like formative oh there was some very formative she's in the mix formatively my biology teacher Miss Warner from sixth grade

just huge titties and red hair I think and like I I want to fuck redheads now and I think it's all because I've spent a year of my life beating off almost exclusively her that's weird that you would want to fuck redheads why cuz you just don't have options in general like you know I can fuck I can fuck bitch I don't like this whole meme of me not being able to fuck I fuck you that's the narrative you crafted I'm just going I can fuck yeah I can fuck when I put my mind to it I am sell it right now fuck you can fuck when you're featuring for Bobby yeah oh yeah I can get headed the fuck you look good man you look like

you've lost weight thank you buddy yeah I got fired we didn't talk about that at all you know I think you always look like you lost weight to me no I forget I expect a lot worse yeah yeah I balloon no I keep going back and forth now I think it's cuz like when we first started hanging out you're like 400 oh I was fat as shit yeah I was legitimately 325 yeah that's actually the secret if you're a big fat guy don't lose all the weight lose like half of it and then people will still think like oh yeah he's still fat but they'll have the image in your other head of the fattest version of you every time you see them they're

like you've lost like a hundred pounds you're still fat but you look good I think I've talked to you about how I jacked off like way late yeah you wouldn't jack off right well because of middle school I went to a Catholic school where they taught you that like jacking off is like evil yeah I was like afraid like I was afraid of just like jack off and like demons came out my video starts playing like ghostbusters too yeah yeah you just hear you hear Rob Alfred screaming from my room yeah that's Rob Alfred again you must be jacking off that's what half their lyrics are about anyways yeah I love how gay I thought

it's like gay bondage sex all pretty jacked off before I could come remember that no you still have an orgasm it's actually probably the most powerful yeah I thought I broke my dick the first time I thought like I was just like yeah I used to rub my dick against my hand I would rub it flat and just like tickle my dick until I came like when I was like 11 I think yeah that's weird that was the first way that was the first way I came I had a fleece redskins blanket that I would fuck would you like hump it no I would make a like a make-shift pocket you guys see that article about a proto a proto pocket yeah yeah it was like you

like you know what I don't know that skin face yeah he got a hole in the mouth I don't know if it was fleece it was actually it was real soft that soft I know where you're talking about material it's a lot of football shit is that material it's that I think they sell them in in CVS it's some kind of synthetic shit throw shit yeah it's good to fuck I remember I remember I was in the mall one time with my friend Zach when we were like 13 or 14 we walked past Brookstone and we were like in Brookstone you know you're a kid you walk through the mall and then you sit in those massage chairs which they don't

let you sit in if you're under 18 really tell you remember that there's like 18 to sit in like massage chairs that was like a thing at different like Brookstone's in places maybe sorry for image they were letting little kids young kids yeah you do it anyways but I remember and it was because they make you calm oh and they said it was to stunt your growth but it's because it make you calm really yeah come off that shit I don't know but that said the story went we were in Brookstone and they had like this vibrating neck pillow that like turned on and like fucking I don't know something picked it up they show it to

Zach Zach's looking at it and it's like vibrating he's like oh my god and he goes does it have a hole in it and he's turning around like doesn't think about it he's like gonna fuck that thing what who was the first I want to nut it Brookstone before the weekend yeah I think it's done that's why that's why sharp image went out of business some dude nutted in that $9,000 grill why didn't Brookstone and sharper images squad up dude they were doing the same thing and they both went under they're against each other now every store in the mall is either like clothes for black people owned by a Korean guy or the

Apple store or like a kiosk to get your like iPhone like yeah a fix yeah it'd be like a cool Indian guy that has like a bunch of iPhone cases did you break your screen what's up man yeah what is up my man hey my my pussy getting friends do you want to be the most very very pussy getting guy you have to have the new case the most very very pussy getting fuck hey cool guy what's up cool guy Indian dudes are the happiest people in the entire world I think we talked about that before probably I think so yeah now when their sons go to jail for

murdering a girl they had a one-night stand with night off man that has fallen off yeah the pilot was the pilot was so fucking the pilot is I saw the pilot it was good the pilot is so fucking good and now like in the last episode when he like kisses the lawyer or whatever I'm like I'm done with this two episodes ago I was loling it was just so absolutely absurdly it's it's ridiculous did you see he got knuckle tats he got sin on one hand and bad on the other hand he literally got sin bad I didn't see bad on yeah he has sin and bad why dude because sin bad but like the air and sin bad the one the one that's the real

one yeah the swashbuckling oh I didn't know that was a real guy yeah there was it's real yeah the show gets bad because when as soon as he goes to prison he goes the story transforms from having the appeal that serial did where they present adnan is like this is just some guy you know that this happened to and that's like a really interesting take on like a fucking homicide where it's like he's not a bad guy but he's not there's nothing particularly special about this right yeah he's a good student but it's not like he's valedictorian right he's just some fucking guy yeah and you don't know what happened maybe he murdered the

girl maybe he's in denial about it and that that's what made it great and then as soon as he gets to prison it's like he becomes a bad boy well it's not that becomes a bad boy it's that Michael K. Williams is like look you're special I also don't like Michael K. Williams I think he's an okay actor but the roles he always plays they're like you know I think Omar was the shittiest character on the wire well he's like he's like especially that episode where he jumps like four stories and he just has a real story that actually had he actually something I had the same I thought the same thing I looked it up

and the guy that's based off of actually jumped for fucking stories huh well that might change my opinion then because I always felt like Omar was this guy the bulletproof yeah yeah exactly and it's like then the way I mean this is definitely a huge spoiler but the way it all ends for him is like it kind of you know I used to do that when I did stand up yeah the little boy kills him every time I did say I don't want to spoil anything but I'm not gonna spoil anything but there's a in season five there's a child that kills one of the most beloved characters Omar yeah they're not gonna spoil anything I don't

know I'm so anti-spoiler that I don't want to be a part of this guys I'm sorry if this is if this ruined your I think I feel one time we're talking about we're back about speed to cruise control yeah and I was like saying something I now don't remember it's cock-filled or not but yeah you're probably just as that doesn't seem isn't that dumb actually but it was somebody I was talking about speed to and I was like an unironically they were like whoa I haven't seen it yet oof and I was like yeah I'm do not care yeah you ruin a movie to yeah 20 years ago also not a good movie yeah it's like one thing if you're like hey

it's a classic whatever but speed to yeah oh wait brands on his phone he couldn't he couldn't handle he couldn't handle a sustained hour oh really he just made a note Brandon has to call his parents for permission to watch PG-13 yes you get them I'm really sorry you could I would I'm not a party to that at all I didn't want this much better shit in the wire I mean it's true but still yeah I mean there's other shit that I only know the I don't know any of the character names you should watch you should watch somebody somebody quote-unquote spoiled the end of the Sopranos for me and it's not like well I can't watch it now it

was still great I just yeah I knew what the ending was because it was like socially like such a big deal yeah but I wasn't watching it contemporaneous I wasn't watching it when I was coming out you would prefer not to know though I still think it just had as much of an effect on me because I don't like I hate getting shit spoiled even I don't know I just even a little shit I don't like it I like to go in as cold as possible into a movie not knowing shit that's what I did but don't breathe I read one one review that was like this is a great horror movie I was like okay and I had no idea what the plot was I don't like

horror I don't either it's not scary me neither yeah it's I'm a pussy I hate scary shit it's not but I don't get scared it's a movie it's a movie what are you scared of the right ones are funny like Green Room was great that's not a horror movie what is it was like a thriller yeah suspense okay and then I guess that's what this is okay but not you know it's I don't know I guess it's like sort of horror thriller I can't do me too I saw a horror movie recently it was Ricky Gervais Jerry Seinfeld Lucy cage is sitting down talking comedy man and it was a spooky no okay all right we got Chris rock Chris rock too yeah yeah so

Ricky Gervais is horrific on the thing so yeah that's makes me so that is so upsetting and three of the best ever every time he talks it's like screeching halt like yes you know how that's the thing you guys like me the most for yeah I went to a show I don't want to say who show it was or but basically the format is like well it's sort of like a pain I don't you it'll be easy to guess who show what so I'll just say it's like a panel format we're like there's four comedians and you know they have to riff on something I just lose as possible what this is about well you don't know I mean is it comedy without

a leash no I don't even know what that is oh dude comics on leash just so good on leash oh yeah no this isn't a TV show okay the standard show so it's yeah it's a but the host of the show was like you know not a bad comedian but like just essentially a fucking bar show open mic yeah then he would book like very good comedians right and anytime he said anything it was just like that happens a lot here man because it's like cuz so many just the best comedians around so they'll do whatever show and it's like yeah yeah yeah it's brutal yeah so we'll take a break and then come back and then yeah yeah suck each other off till we come

back but simple bare necessities forget about your word is and your strata I mean the bare necessities or mother nature's recipes that bring the bare necessities of life wherever I wander wherever I roam I couldn't be found off my big home the fees are buzzing in the tree to make some honey just for me when you look under the rocks and plants and take a glance at the fancy ants then maybe try a few you better believe it you're gonna love the way they take a movement look out the bare necessities of life will come to you they'll come to you

look for the bare necessities the simple bare necessities forget about your worries and your strike I mean the bare necessities that's why a bear can rest the days with just the bare necessities of life now when you pick a pawpaw or a prickly pear and you prick a raw paw well next time beware don't pick the prickly pear for the pawl when you pick a pear try to use the claw but you don't need to use the claw when you pick a pair of the big pawpaw have I given you a clue whoa the silly Jim come on baggie get with the beat the bare necessities of life

okay we're back and we're talking anxiety memes with Brandon Wardell from Twitter he's 12 years old he just grew a vagina he hit puberty is where he is literally wearing a dress at puberty at puberty didn't we did it okay first of all we have ladyboys are a different species in the rest of us okay asshole shifts forward and replace their dick it's just flippin it's got two assholes one for business yeah that's so fun yeah we really weren't mean enough to bring you know first time I literally wearing a dress and we like I've been like oh yeah let's

talk to an audio format dude he's got a dress for radio also what would Brandon's trance dude what Brandon's trans now and he showed up in a dress and you fucking started ripping on him that'd be awesome and he's actually now my name is Brenda Brenda Wardell Brenda bathrooms you saw the backpacks as says trans honestly Brandon was trans I'd be like that's just brand like that's just for the brand you calculated ass bitch Brandon is not a per he will cease to be a person you know it's funny is like some Asian thing some Asian people have the last name Tran yeah and then that's also they're like Adam just has a fucking such an

unknowledge yeah every kind of Asian a carnal knowledge you guys know that thing where they send nudes to other guys well they're literally on the podcast to the girl who's on the podcast is doing that guys anyway anyway oh also I said don't screenshot me don't screenshot me in the second it ended she screen shot of course dude wow yeah I hate that shit fucking screenshotting people screenshotting is you that was like screenshotting is feminism do female comics do if there weren't somebody else said that probably Racine or something that's a great that's so fucking good yeah yeah

the guy's just trying to fuck for Christ's sake it's not an easy thing ladies the saddest thing well Jake Wiseman had the funniest one he was like two years ago he was like wow I can't believe how sexually forward that guy was do you on that hookup dating service willingly signed up for that's so sad when it's just a guy reaching out you know oh yeah it's not a guy being a creep it's just a lonely I'm just looking for love in this yeah lonely world okay well you're 29 so tick-tock you know yeah exactly tick-tock bitch there's a fuse hooked up to your vagina sizzling it's gonna go off ladies any

moment now Sicily oh Sicily you ever been a sizzler stuff I wish I have had they still haven't been Los Angeles get out of town really I actually have to go to LA for a week when it's open-ended but I got a project I got to go work on in a month and a half we should go you should come with I come we'll go to sizzler I would love to do that yeah let's plan it yeah you're going to LA I am when I don't know we just literally just have put your phone away bitch Brandon re-tweeted me I feel like I'm flying right this is you mother you again you retweet at what is it gonna take for me to get a fucking have I not retweeted

you've never retweeted I've never retweeted you've never retweeted me once in my life that's not that's not true we got to talk about this picture Arthur Chew which somebody my attention I said it as my lock screen because it's so good I don't watch it I don't watch Game of Thrones so I don't know what this chair is the new balances let me see this shoe oh we can't put a shoe look at this shoe in particular look how fucked up it is he blocked me yeah yeah he's blocked all was it hard black guys think it was hard for Arthur to growing up with that with an autistic sister DW yeah Arthur Chew again he was on

Jeopardy or something is on Jeopardy and then after Jeopardy he became like a columnist and then he got in he was like during the whole Gamergate thing oh yes yeah yeah yeah he made some but his his best take of all of them his biggest hit was the time that he watched gay porn oh you know you could know how uncomfortable women felt that's so fucking good how analogies work like that even he looks like mr. Saturn from earthbound I think the best the very best Arthur burn that I ever heard is someone said he looked like a minion with downs you think that how many do

you think that guy fucks Arthur oh yeah dude really I mean more than you boom how I'm a little bit on purpose yeah I'm a little bit on purpose no one try and fuck me yeah I don't know but I've been dying at that shoe for the last like two days how fucked up that shoe is if you zoom in on it the tongue is jammed down into the side but then he kept lacing it so the laces go up his ankle and then he's like got like four or five layers really laces above where the tongue has been jammed down into the shoe oh my god I mean like ridiculous come on man just take a second dude

what the fuck is why you so busy that much of a hurry to sit in that chair also he was definitely I gotta sit in that game of Thrones chair no dude he was in line just knelt down at any moment his pants are on he's like he's somehow got part of his ass pulled through the zipper half of a cheek but then they're buttoned oh big art to yeah so what else Brandon what do you

got going on we need to fill another I don't know 20 minutes you go to the VMA tomorrow are you doing the VMAs I'm just I'm just yeah I'm in town to just be a snapchat to go to the VMAs I'm not snapchatting you're not VMAs no I mean I'll do it on my account didn't snap for them the first time yeah I got paid to take over them so don't say it like I'm not doing that you want like okay well whatever I I'm just you're just attending yeah I'm okay that's good yeah going with um what's up yeah how when are we going yeah my friend my friend Darcy oh Darcy yeah Darcy tweets about Darcy who sub tweets you way too much

all the time you guys met like once yeah she keeps and she's always like 30 she's always like 30 year old weed dealer in a planet fitness shirt oh yeah that's a good look and then all of her yeah all of all of her sad girl Twitter followers are like hell yes yeah yeah yeah she's yeah she's she roasts you way too much for somebody that she knows she was flirting with me and she's like yeah this one time this guy would rather watch basketball than like hook up with me I was like you were trying to hook up with me I had like no idea right whatever yo what's up Darcy your boys I would never I didn't say that and what's up

how are me she's mad cool you seem like a great person she's very funny I think she's like she's in my top five Twitter accounts oh nice she's just the reason yeah like three three three three four four four three three oh well yeah check it out oh this is great I'm sorry to meet text from our friend verse right now and it's I don't know who this is what they said we were at a Twitter DJ thing last summer my friend goes bro you look bro you Brandon Wardell looking ass as an insult and then it was actually him wait who said that I don't know it's anonymous there's a lot of people that don't like you so I get sent the greatest

isn't it gonna be awesome when Brandon's career like oh well like woke Twitter dude they're gonna end up like she's gonna end up like one of those dudes that runs open mics in LA that like had a career in like 1992 for a thing you're gonna be that guy who's that guy who's showing you like yeah that's yeah that's the bully for Mancino man like now he's just this weird guy I'll be all you don't know where that happens no you won't you won't die you're gonna begin to be a fucking miserable I'm good at each piece of shit no I need to die I need to die earlier no dude I was in a commercial for staples once here's the problem

right it's just gonna have a good life yeah he's gonna be happy and it's literally going to be spider-man and it's gonna be hilarious are you gonna play spider-man once they work through all the other races like we finally got to question mark no hopefully something bad happens but I want to say thanks I want something bad to happen but I want you to rebound did you see that article about about I do want it to happen Donald Glover show the Atlanta show and I didn't see an article about yeah I read an article it looks really good I didn't see shit about

it but I saw one article that made me laugh where it's like you know he's like it's a it's a fuck you to white people or something or it was on one of my literally in Derek comedy yeah I say fuck you white people well I don't know what's going on in his head but in the article it was like you know he's only hiring black writers but then the quote on the article was like I wanted to show white America they don't know any every everything about black people or whatever and then the in that same paragraph it was like like they got this character in the show and they're like all right he's a drug dealer and he

lives in a trap house or whatever he's like no he's drug dealers got enough money for a regular apartment they're like oh okay it's like why is he a drug dealer yeah you want to make a show the challenges stereotypes are like well yeah he's black so he sells drugs obviously but you know in like a cool way he drives like a Mercedes instead of a Cadillac yeah but no he sells drugs for sure I only have very good things to say about Donald Glover yeah oh hell yeah I'm sure the show's good I was talking about this fucking article that I like met him at like his place like on Memorial Day and

I had never met him before where does he live it was in like the Hollywood Hills and he like he came up to me like yo I read all of your tweets I've seen you like make jokes about me but they're funny like whatever oh that means you're on his shit list dude you're on the DG shit list yeah kiss your career goodbye yeah it's a better start that Mike now at that hooters yes try to get in the factory wait is that Panera or not Panera is that a it's a what is it Panera where there's an open mic like Times Square Panera it's like on bad I was really and it's a bringer to Donald Glover's credit I also want to say that

bro rape popularized bro is a term oh yeah if it weren't for that people would yeah absolutely popularized absolutely true can you like the amount of like damn you know cultural power that has that no I mean no staying power that fucking term dare come to like establish what a bro exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah I like it's really funny I think it's really for years I thought the fat guy in Derek comedy with Sean Patton I thought they're the same guy I was like what is shot when I first like started literally like Derek comedy do that video with Ellie Kemper with a dry blow yeah she's like embarrassed of now she's like a

fake POV porn yeah I'm gonna make it dry I'm gonna use so much teeth yeah but yeah like his music got like really good once he was like sad and actually yeah drugs yeah I got amazing dude I remember being in college and loving his comedy and shit and then going through his tumblr and being like seeing he's like promoting a rap album like look at this fucking idiot everyone famous wants to be a musician two years on top 40 he's great I mean I fuck with I fuck great but I do hope he doesn't like you secretly and that he has a vendetta against you yeah that's the first day he was just to set you up

just to make you feel he said he was like I like barely post vines but he was like oh I like I've watched all of your vines it's so hard to be funny in six seconds nice very earnestly do you have any other compliments people have given you you want to say into a microphone I'm not I'm done I'm the Donald Glover came up so then I you know yes then you had to not the time I'm not here to you flex sure except that's your that's your default mode what just a quick flex before getting a casual flex the casual flex guys I wish you guys weren't on your phones for that you know that would have been I really could I'm not on my

phone I'm just staring at me yeah what is going on I'm like a faint headache from drinking too many coffees today but I'm in it with the podcast I love it I love you boys you started having I like that you have like Vietnam PTSD that was like it's about the women yeah he just hears choppers and remembers being cocked I can't believe I still have to beat off to Saigon room with a shirt off hungover yeah man yeah we really took a dip let's keep it focused we got five minutes here boys I was missing great opportunity to roast Brandon I think it's going perfectly I think it's going good yeah I think it's this has been a

good pod no it's been a great pot yeah there were things I wanted to talk I want to talk about that don't breathe movie I thought it was great but oh you want to be sent me last week this is great so remember I said I was like I had that air raid siren autism yes if you don't know this I get like autistic about air raid sirens oh yeah yeah but now it's like every six months yes I mean occasionally yeah what get into air raid so but then there's also the woodworking shit and somebody sent me this guy who's got a wood some Canadian autistic guy that has his own wood shop and yet he'd like he's like okay so this

week I decided to you know make my own air raid siren makes his own air raid siren in his wood shop out of fucking wood and yeah I'm like this guy rules yeah I watched a bunch of his other videos he's like incredible like poo yeah the cat shits a lot though the white cat is like stare it was like staring me down he was your white cat looks angry always it's not my cat you ever see that uh there's like not the blooper reel from Gonzo but like that tweeter the teaser where they have all the interview takes with Gary Busey oh this fucking cat's throwing up and the cat's throwing up because the smell of a ton she had

all right Brandon's leaving everybody it is fucking disgusting all right stop yelling you don't need to scream yeah this is absolutely disgusting that's gross all right well that's this week's episode everybody thanks for tuning in we'll we'll try to get back on a weekly schedule and yeah we're doing another show and live show on 9-11 11 and the same thing you same venue come on everybody it's not a bit it's actually a show on Sunday 11th all right thanks bye bye Oh

What do you think? You