The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - 17

B-S-T-A-C-O-L-T-S! Hello! Hello. Hi everyone. Hi, welcome to Come Town. WCUM. Come Town Radio. WCUM. The home of, I don't know. WCUM. I don't know what that place was. It's like, it's like how Cosby impressions sort of evolved over the years. So then when you get to like the family guy Cosby impression, it's so far removed from actual Cosby. Right. It's an impression. Well the kids, they go like listen to the jazz music and it goes zoop zoop zoop. Ooh, I used to, there was a man that sold Kodak film. That was like a family guy then. But

we were just talking about how Brandon didn't really talk much on the podcast last time. Yeah, fuck Brandon. Which is good because fuck him but you can check him out on Chapo Trap House. He was their guest this week. Yeah, political analysis from, from Brandon. One of the most woke intellectuals, public intellectuals, like a Norman Mailer type. More like Norman Gailer. Thank you. Hormone Gailer. Hormone Gailer. Oh, that's good. Yeah, if you guys followed Norman Wilkerson on Twitter, please call him Hormone Wilkerson from now on. Glad we thought that. And tell him taxes are too low. Yeah. So we gotta cover this. I already told Adam I'm doing this. Oh, I don't know about this. This is used to me. I didn't

consent. You don't have to fucking consent. Let me know. So basically, about rape again. No. So we're all, we're all aware of the character, or not character, the guy who's come on the show who died tragically, slipping on a banana peel. Okay. Who stopped mentioning and like, out of reverence for the dead. Yeah, right. Because he passed away. So there's this other guy, Seth Cockfield, who was offended by the character. And that's why, you know, I mean, it's not why, but it was sort of a coincidence that Seth had a meltdown about it. And then Seth Cockfield died and we stopped allowing Seth Dickfield to bully Seth Cockfield via the magic of theater. Right, right, right. Oh, I didn't get it. Seth, oh, so Dickfield

was bullying Cockfield. Yeah, it wasn't me. I see. Okay. It was the guy. It was the human, the real human being who was at Dickfield. You know, my favorite movie of all time is Who Framed Roger Rabbit. And Roger Rabbit is chained to Eddie Valiant, their handcuffed together for about an hour. Yeah. And then they're in that back room in the bar. And Eddie finally, Eddie finds a hacksaw and he starts hacking through the handcuffs. And while he's doing that, Roger Rabbit just slips out of the handcuffs and he like starts watching him. Oh yeah. And he says, you mean to tell me you could have taken those off at any time? And he goes, no, only when it was funny. And I sort of lived by that code that anything

can be justified if it's funny. So I'm not responsible for hurting Seth's feelings. And he's a bad guy. But what do you mean? I thought you said you had nothing against him. I don't have anything against him. I mean, I'm just saying objectively, he's a bad guy. God, that's even better. Yeah. He's claiming it's objective. But there's like a scientific unit of measurement. It's not that he's petty and anyone who annoys him a little bit, he goes way too hard at them. Who me? Yeah. Who else have I gone way too hard at? Anyone that annoys you on the Internet. I feel like on the Internet you like to just... No, there's people I like to make fun of. I think Seth's like a great character and he just doesn't realize that. Anyhow, the point

is I wouldn't bring him up, but Seth rejoined Facebook to complain about me and clear the air. And I think, you know, it's... No, hold on. Adam shaking his head in protest. He posted this because he... And I agree with him. I have been mean to him. So I think it's like really fair that I let people who was only exposure to Seth hear what Seth has to say in his own character, in his own defense. So Seth posted this. Yeah, don't do... You're definitely not going to do the voice. What do you mean? Well, it's in Seth's words. Okay. Do the voice. Seth wrote... Hi, I'm not back. I just wanted to share this and then bounce back into the ether sometime before Monday. This tweet is an old tweet of mine,

which I tweeted in a rage one day in the spring of 2015, right around noon, most probably after reading about yet another atrocity portrayed by some white cop, a politician, a rapist. Adam, you look this please. If it's really going to bother you that much, I'll tell you, there's seven more paragraphs. Just continue. We're only halfway through the first one. We already started. There's no going back. Well, if you don't want to be a part of this, I guess, if you're such good friends with Seth, you don't want me to just let Seth speak for himself here. This is a recording you're playing, right, of Seth reading his post. Yeah, play the recording. He went live on Facebook Live. Finish the video.

I don't know. Well, if you're going to have a problem. Continue. No, you already said, I guess, I guess I'm just a big bully. I guess everybody just thinks I'm just a fucking asshole because I'm trying to let Seth defend himself to the come town. You know what? You're right. Let Seth finish. You're right. You're right. We're being the bullies. We're trying to stifle Seth's voice. Let's hear what he had to say. Anyhow, he says this is a tweet he tweeted in a rage after an atrocity portrayed by White Cop or politician or rapist. The tweet got no likes or retweets at the time, which was fine. I didn't expect it to. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

If that makes you feel uncomfortable, I get that and I'm happy to discuss it. And then he's included the tweet, which was terrible. The tweet is, here's Seth, and he says, White people will one day go extinct and I cannot wait. New power structure, please. He wants himself to go extinct. Well, anyhow. That's the tweet he included. What do you mean you can't wait? You are white. Well, hold on. He explains it further. Then he says, earlier this summer, a certain comedian popular on Twitter whom I will refer to as X, which is me.

That's cool. Nicholas X. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. I love that. That's a cool nickname. Thank you, Seth. That's why you don't understand nicknames. X is a tight nickname for you. It's nowhere near as good as Seth Dickfield, though. Dickfield's great.

If he was earlier this summer, a certain comedian popular on Twitter who I will refer to as Nick Dickface, I would have laughed. That would have been funny. That was a blown opportunity. He gave you instead a really cool punk rock name, Dick Cuntlin. As X? Well, punk rock names are all like... Your first name is literally one letter.

David Murder, like Jonathan Trash. Yeah. Like Garmin. Like Johnny Rotten. Mike Snot fucking Pussy. I'm an art forebend. I'm Johnny Snot ass. I'm Johnny Pustaint. Yeah.

So, okay. So, earlier this summer... Your first name is literally one letter away from Dick. Yeah, you know. Like, you can call me Dick Muller. They've been funny. Dick Muller, yeah. Well, it would have been funnier if he called me like Nick Dickface

or Nick Dickfag. Yeah, yeah. You just didn't put any effort into it. Of course. With the Cockfield thing. Nick Muldick would have been funny. Yeah, yeah. That would have been funny.

But he went with X. So, sorry. Now I'm an X-man. Now I'm a fucking mutant. Professor X. The only white guy that looks good bald and handicapped. That's true. That's a good combo.

Okay. Earlier this summer, a certain comedian popular on Twitter, who I refer to as X, someone whom I'm not... I don't... Is that... That's not... Whom is possessive, right? No.

Subjective. Yeah. Not the subject of the sentence. Someone... But this isn't correct usage. Someone whom I'm not amicable with in the least? I don't think it's right. Someone who, yeah.

I don't know. Someone who... Yeah, because you are the subject of the sentence. I don't fucking know, dude. I'm dumb also. Thought it'd be funny to create a character based on me for his podcast. This was completely unprovoked. The character is a weak, submissive, social justice warrior type

who overuses words like woke and is generally obsessed with political correctness. The character's name is Seth Dickfield. Which... Side note, again, Seth is a real... Seth Dickfield is a real person. It's pretty insensitive to this guy who died. Yeah, we've all seen him. We've all looked at...

Actually, I don't know. Have I been the right person? And honestly, Seth, for you to say that Seth Dickfield isn't real, considering he died at Auschwitz in a way that kind of makes you a holocaust tonight. So, Seth Cockfield, holocaust tonight. Jesus. Alright, getting back to the note. Seriously, he's not even trying to hide the fact...

He's not even trying to hide the fact that the character is based on me. It's fucking weird to say the least. I haven't talked to this dude in over a year. This is the best part of the whole thing. How much thing? Last time I talked to him, he was at an open mic where he got upset with me because I wouldn't budge on my... I don't like the N-word and don't think white people should ever say it, Stan.

I'm not mad because he thought his logic was sounded out of here. That is a hilarious... Wait, that didn't happen. That didn't fucking happen. I wouldn't argue with Seth about... That is the best. That he's like, last time I talked to him... Sorry, I don't like the N-word.

He was stomping his feet and demanding to use the N-word in an open mic. Let me share it! Let me share it! Let me say it, Seth. I'm anti-rape and anti-Edward and I'm never changing that. Dude, the idea of just wanting to say the N-word... A person that would argue at length that they should say it but wouldn't say it. To be that stupid.

Did I'm arguing with Seth? And that did not happen. Seth, of course not. He made it up. It absolutely didn't happen. The last argument I got in... He was stopping you from saying the N-word. I bravely stopped.

Oh my god. What a fucking hero. Well, X wanted to show his followers that his character was based on a real person. So he scoured my actual Twitter feed for anything that might resemble his Seth Dickfield character. And he found one, the one I've uploaded here. He tweeted it and his followers went ape shit. I tweeted it without context. I just retweeted you saying a thing.

You were doing it. That's what I was doing. You knew that was very funny. I knew it was fucking funny. People are going to laugh at him for being this much of a fucking idiot. But I didn't need to be like, you know, hey bully this guy, you're here this is why this is dumb. It stays at face value. It really does.

It's a fucking dumb thing to write. So the tweet immediately started making the rounds with the most depressing parts of Twitter. Oh god. I guess the least depressing part of Twitter is tweeting Talib Kuali all day long. Don't let them get you Talib. That's the least depressing part. Talib very, very for women's rights. He really wants women to have breath control.

The worst people in the world relish that X's character was based on someone so real and so liberal. And so they made it their business to keep a stream of daily hatred popping up in my notifications. It has been shared more times than I can count. It's like, well, that's the thing about Twitter, Seth. It tells you exactly how many times you can share. Seth can count to 13. It's been shared more times than I'm capable of reading a number off a screen. So basically I'm semi-famous in the Breitbart world for believing that white supremacy is real should be dismantled and meaning it.

That's not what you said. You said white people should go extinct. And then the response from the majority of the people who responded to that tweet was like, doesn't this guy know he's white? That's why it's funny. That's the funniest thing. That's why it's funny. It's a white person saying white people should go extinct. No, but you can't understand the fact that people agree with you that there's racism.

There's plenty of racism. You're a fucking laughing stock. I don't want to die. That's my biggest problem. I would go extinct under that. Because of my tweet, I must be a cuckold or gay or both. You're a gay cuckold. You brought the accent back.

No one's fucking your husband. No matter what I am, they really want me to kill myself. Jesus Christ. The thing is they are telling him to kill himself, but it's in the context of him saying white people should go extinct. Speed it up. Yeah, people are like, can we start with you? Yeah, that's funny. Although I'm sure horrific parts of the internet did get a hold of that.

It's Gavin McKinnis retweeted it. One of the worst. Yeah, so he spread it to the shitheads. Now it's the only tweet of mine being passed around exclusively by angry white supremacists. I love that through all of this, he's sort of kind of angry that he didn't go viral under his own terms. Yeah. What he really wanted to go viral for is people being a woke hero. This white guy that wants to die would a fucking hero.

That's how he thought it would be. You showed him. Exclusively by angry white supremacists, I refuse to refer to them as alt-right, as I see the entire right-wing world as one big happy exclusive family with some uncles and cousins and a little more vocal and honest than the others. And also, by the way, Seth is an admitted former white supremacist. I don't know if you remember. Yeah, I remember. I read that post. Yeah, he had a post on Facebook like a year and a half ago that was like, listen up gang, I used to be a white supremacist.

I read a bunch of racist literature. What? Like Nazi. Seth was like an actual Nazi at one point. Shut the fuck up. The point of it was to say that like you can change and you can get woe. You can change. Yeah, yeah. That was like the point of the post.

Yeah, Seth, you know a lot of us didn't have to go through that process. Yeah. You know. No, I mean, that's crazy though. Is that real or was he like doing it up? I mean, I think that is real. You don't think it's real? No, I think it's real.

And also in like 2007, like a total libertarian and like fuck you if you don't if you can't make what switched him is the idea that he should get health care for free. It was all about initially him getting shit for free, you know, about how he deserves things for free. And that's what brought him over into being a progressive. And then also he has to be cool. Like he can't like be interpreted as being cool. And Barack Obama was very cool to him. So he had to like Barack Obama. Young Barack Obama.

Yeah. I'm all foreign. The worst part about this is that I can't even tweet anymore. I didn't really tweet that much beforehand. But now anytime I log in, it's 50 more notifications from the past week. Pure hatred. Not to mention X is still to this day using the character and retweeting shit with my actual face on it, which I wasn't. I haven't fucking mentioned like done anything with that Dickfield shit since he had that fucking meltdown because I felt bad.

Like I have numerous times in the past 10 years that I've known Seth like feel felt bad when he says something moronic and shitty like specifically to elevate himself over people who hold the opinions that he had six months ago. Yeah. That's why it's so subject to ridicule. Yeah. And doing it as an elite. Right. He sees a fucking elitist prick and I'll like make fun of him for, you know, framing something in the context. If here's me being better than somebody and suddenly as soon as like he gets called out on that behavior, he's like, I'm a victim. Everyone's hurting me.

This guy is such an asshole. It's completely unprovoked. And it's like, oh, was it provoked when you transcribed two paragraphs of that guy's personal conversation in that coffee shop, you know, to show everyone how much you love the family. But he didn't know that guy's actual. I mean, yeah. Sure. I understand what I'm doing. We truly are bullying.

What? Yeah. I am bullying. There's no way around that. It's absolutely bullying. Yes. But it's also like, you know, I'm not wrong. That is the thing.

If you are right, it doesn't matter what the fucking like, especially you do not give a shit whatsoever. And that's why we go back to the good words of Roger Rabbit. Only if it's funny. Only if it's funny. Yeah. If it's funny. And then Roger Rabbit broke Nick's brain. Yeah.

He closes by saying, in other news, I'm back in school. I'm a college freshman. I love it. Other than that, all that Twitter shit I can safely say in general, life is good. So things are looking up for Seth. And I'm happy. I'm glad for him that he's in school. Because, I mean, honestly, 15 years of standup comedy and you're still bombing it open, Mike.

This is Christ, Nick. See, this is the Mullen special right here. It did happen. After just shitting on him for something that he sent the seasoning on. You semi had a point, right? Still mean. But you had a good, then you just took the gratuitous, kick him while he's down. Fucking big.

Yeah. He threats on college, you fucking. Anyway. He's making his life better. I'm like happy for him. Good man. I'm happy for him. You can see the expression on Nick's face, everyone.

He's actually sucking Adam's dick right now. It's weird. He's been talking with Adam's dick in his mouth the whole time. The shitty part about all of it is, like, Seth is such a fucking great character and he doesn't understand what makes him funny, you know? Like, people, like, thought the dick field thing was funny because it's just Seth. He was a little heightened. Yeah.

It's a version of Seth. Yeah. And if he could harness that, he could do great, you know? No, he can't. Yeah, he can't. He can't because he has no say in it. That's why it's funny. Yeah.

That's just who he is, you know? And it's not a bit, you know? The character is funny because it's a bit because you're explaining. And it's not only funny because of Seth. It's funny because there are, especially with the election right now, a ton of people popping up that are like, you know, self-described woke, you know? I am woke. It's like I'm sleeping.

Mark Ruffalo had some awful tweet. I saw it. Who was it? Getting woke to the trans experience. I'm getting woke to the trans experience. Yikes. More like Mark Dickifalo. Dickifalo?

You want to start, Mark? Mark Dickifalo? Yeah. So, you know, so Seth on that thread got into, like, an argument with some guy. And here, somebody said, that's the thing I love about all this is people just immediately start sending me screen caps of, like, all this shit. And so somebody commented. You've infiltrated his Facebook, dude.

I don't ask people to send me this shit. Like, fucking immediately, people start texting me and send me to me. Yeah. But, uh, yeah. Wow, Nick, it's just so accidental. What do you mean it's so accidental? How would I know? You block me on everything.

There's no reason. I have, like, four different people that'll, like, you know, text me when he's going on. Seth's back. Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, so this is this guy that commented on that. What he's saying is that he's not really back on Facebook to belly ache yet again. Can't you tell?

I'm not trying to be a jerk here, Seth. We only knew each other briefly in high school. Oh, man. I don't really know you that well. I just have to say you seem to get a joy out of complaining whenever you're on Facebook about anyone who doesn't lean 100% left in their thinking. You make me want to check out this Nick Mullen guy's spoof of you at this point. Again, not trying to be mean, but you're kind of pushy with your opinions.

After saying that, if you feel like unfriending me, then so be it. And so Seth screen-capped that and then posted it as another status. Oh, guys, they're just commenting back. Well, on the status, he writes, TFW, you know, that face when, you're not trying to be a jerk, but you're nailing it, though. So it's like, hey. No. So now you're using AAVE.

Now you're going full Wardell. Yeah. You've got to be black when you own the guy. And then that Seth eventually did block that guy. Jesus. And then that guy messaged me and he goes, you don't know me, but I went to high school with Seth Cockfield and he just unfriended me because I called him out on some of his whiny, pushy, leftist bullshit.

Where can I check out this character you created about him? I would love a good laugh over this. This is incredible. Seth is getting us listeners. Yeah, I've never seen some. That's hilarious. Getting owned by just a guy who barely knew you and he's like, look, man, we don't really know each other.

I'm the closest to an objective observer here. And I got to say, and he was even kind of like, well, let's talk about it. And what's funny is Seth was even like, I'm happy to talk about my tweet with you, but not about your fucking objections to how I'm behaving. I won't talk about that. No, Seth is just like constantly stepping on rakes and having them smash in his face. That was really good. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's just, it's too fucking funny. It's too perfect. And I know like, you guys are probably uncomfortable with, you know, having to bring that up. But like, look, this is it. I'm never going to fucking mention him again. Seth, like, I'm sure somebody will tell you about this. Like, it's done. I wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't posted nine paragraphs about it.

And yeah, it's like, I mean, Seth also has to know you. He knows you. He's known you for 10 years. He had to know that that's like, definitely going to get your peak, your interest. I mean, the guy messaging him was so good. Yeah. Like even if no one was like keeping you keeping tabs on this for you, just one of his like friends blocking him messaging you is hilarious.

I mean, it's gotta suck. Somebody fucking making fun of you and you can't control the, you know, any of the narrative around it. I would be pissed off if somebody had like, but you know, I also think it would, I think it would have been funny if somebody like did a fucking character based on you. And nailed it so well. And yeah, and they did it. I'd be like, all right, you know, I did a character based on you once.

What was the name? Dick. I have a really good character. Yeah. It's called. No, no, it's called. I get on Wardell all the time. He's our friend.

And you know what? I was friends with Seth. Me and him used to hang out, but he would, he would hang out with him. He would constantly talk shit on people. And then as soon as he found out anyone was criticizing him in any way, shape or form, you'd have a fucking meltdown, like a literal meltdown, storming out and shit. That's probably funny. Whatever.

I don't care. Guys, you really stepped on my really good character. Oh, what's your character? It's called Gay Christopher Walken. Do it. I'm gay. That's good. Thank you.

Yeah, that's good. You know, the Sicilians are the best liars. Two mice. Two men. Can I offer you? Fall into a vat of cream. Two men. And they fuck each other.

And it becomes blood. I've had this pleasurable gold watch shoved up my ass until I come. Your father forgot. Oh, now I'm just doing a Jewish guy. Your father forgot it in my ass. That is a hard character. That's like the next level with impressions. Like if you can do an impression, but then like, you know, so like, you know, everybody

loves Robert De Niro. One of me was deaf. Dude, deaf mom of the Niro. Hey, me. Just fusing to ham-fisted ass. Stare at the end. Me. Deaf mom of the Niro.

You talking to me? I really, I can't hear you. You're gonna have to explain if you're talking to me or not. I can't tell. I'm even more deaf, Robert De Niro. Seriously, are you talking to me? Jesus Christ. Serious.

Serious. Yeah. Or like, ooh, ooh, it's me, Robin Williams, but I'm- Still alive. Yeah, I'm dead. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I have so much hair on my knuckles. Have you seen that dude's body hair, Robert- Robert Williams? Yeah. Insane. That's why he killed himself. Yeah, that's true.

The Nair bills were getting too high. Yeah. He's just wearing a sweater, just all year long. So the West Indian Day Parade is today, which, shout out to any West Indian folks we got out there. Of course, our big West Indian listener. I'm a big fan. What's your favorite one?

My favorite West Indies? Barbados. Barbados, me too. Yeah. Rihanna, Riri. Yeah. Guys, I don't know about you, but I would have sex with Rihanna. I thought about it the other day.

I think I would. I think I'd have sex with- Nick? Yeah, I wouldn't. Why? I mean, because you guys already fucked her. That's gross. Yeah, I fucked her first.

Once you fucked a woman, she's ruined forever. Yeah, yeah, this one fuck. Each woman is good for one fuck. And after that, she said, no good. You gotta kill them. They go in the trash compactor. That's where you put them. Oh, we should talk about this jazz age festival guy, because we were complaining about that.

What's going on? They said New York Times had some article about this asshole that lives in Red Hook. Yeah, it was in the style section, I believe. He runs this thing called the Jazz Age Festival on Governors Island, which is fine. You can like jazz or whatever, and maybe for your performance, you dress up like a 20s guy. Yeah, yeah. But it has to extend to everything for him, which by the way, I feel like half the shit,

everything in like the New York Times like real estate blog, that's all trolling. Oh, yeah. That's not serious, because every one of those is like, my name, Kayla's like parents only have a budget for her of $80 million a month for her perfect apartment. So she's going to have to make some compromises. Unfortunately, the toilet wasn't made out of pure crystal. And sometimes she could hear taxis honking in the Fifth Avenue Palace that her parents bought for her.

Well, she takes classes at NYU on pretending she has it hard. Oh, fuck. I have to shop. Oh, my God. I have to shop. I have to shop. Maybe we're laughing about that one day. I need to shop.

Rich Fifth Avenue women that are like fucking exhausted from shopping all day. I've had the worst day. I have been shopping all day. Oh, yeah. Their names are... We already did that, Joe. We talked about it. Madison Square Garden and Chelsea Peers and their Korean friend.

That's right. Kim Park Slope. Yeah. Fuck. What's he doing? So this jazz thing is just like being insufferable. The article was about like this guy lives in 2016, but he's 1920s. Yeah.

He's like, yeah, I'm 1920s. He's like, basically, I love the, you know, just everything about that era. It's like the 1920s. So he pulls his pants up too fucking high and does his socks. And as a thing, no Velcro. Like a mustache or whatever. And he's like, yeah, I don't even own a TV. And then his girlfriend's like, yeah, we just watched movies on my laptop, which is like...

It's an even more new technology. So thank you, Twitter. Yeah. But they only watch movies from the 20s, I'm sure. Which that's got to be so fucking entertaining. You know, I tried watching, like I got a list of... I wanted to work through and watch every movie that's ever won Best Picture. Right.

And I was looking at basically every movie before 1945 was like, you know, like some guy... It's a German that tap dances. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. We got to put on makeup and stay dramatically at each other to stop Hitler. You could never even fuck. Yeah. Get that cat out of there.

Fuck out of here, you cat. Piece of shit. Don't throw up either. Yeah. I guess we should probably... What? I feel like that's not a worthwhile pursuit. What?

Watching every Best Picture? Some of them are not. Some of them are so bad. Movies weren't good until like 10 years ago. Well, that's what you got to find. Even Best Pictures aren't good. Crash was the worst thing I've ever fucking seen in my life. That made me so upset.

Driving Miss Daisy? It's not like that good of a movie. Oh, that shit sucks. Yeah, no, it's like... Gladiator's the only good one that's ever won Best Picture. My job ended. Actually, I saw it recently. Piece of shit.

No, I'm kidding. Of course, didn't deserve Best Picture, but it was fun to watch. Gladiator wasn't bad. I remember it was my favorite movie at like 15. Oh, really? Yeah, that's exactly what my favorite movie was. I went with my dad. When I was like 13, my favorite movie was Men of Honor.

Hell yeah. Oh, the one with... Scuba diving. Scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba. I remember watching Boondock Saints when I was like 12 and being like, That was the best fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. I hate it. I always hated Boondock Saints.

No, dude, it caught me beautifully. Well, I hated Boondock Saints because I loved Goodfellas and then someone was like, I love Goodfellas. You'll love Boondock Saints. And I watch it. I'm like, this is stupid as shit. Dude, I fucking loved it. I was like, damn, they know every language.

Have you ever seen Overnight? No. The documentary about the guy that made Boondock Saints? No. It's amazing. Really? He's this like egomaniac Boston fucking bartender. He's like, yeah, I'm from Boston.

You know, I wrote a movie and I wrote it because it's fucking real. You know, Boston style. That was when they like, they made a ton of those movies. Yeah. So his initial script was like, it got passed around Hollywood and people liked it a lot. And I think it was like Miramax had, like Harvey Weinstein had it and he liked it personally. And then they tried to get like De Niro in on it. They tried to get all these big names, but the guy who wrote it was such a difficult piece

of shit to work with that he sabotaged like everything. And like eventually it got produced and then he took some shitty deal where he just got like a payout and like didn't make anything off distribution. Oh really? So he ended up making like no money off the fucking movie. Also it was supposed to come out on 9-11. Oh. And they like had to postpone.

Yeah. I haven't seen Overnight in a while, so I forget all the details, but yeah. Oh, you're talking about Overnight? No. No, you're talking about Boondock Saints. Overnight is a documentary about the guy. If he had just gotten a piece of poster revenue. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It fucking would have been rich as hell. Oh yeah. Dorm room poster. I feel like it just came with a dorm. He didn't make any of that dorm room poster money. It was either that or the velvet underground. Bob Marley. Yeah, Bob Marley.

I had a Rocky one. Yeah, Rocky. I had Rocky, dude. That was cool as hell. There was this dude in college that was like, okay, I can tell the story. He's not listening to pocket. He like was like presented like has this alpha male like, you know, like, fuck get my dick sucked to like whatever.

Yeah. In his bedroom, a six foot poster of Leonidas from the movie 300 just with just wearing underpants and a cape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rippling abs and like just huge pecs and like Gerard Butler, whatever. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's just like in his bedroom. He had this massive like six, like to scale buff guy. Yeah. To scale. And then his, my friend, his roommate one day went on his, went on his laptop to to Jack off to porn, I guess. Damn. And all of his searches are like guy, guy fucks guy, but they're not gay.

Too, too straight guys fucking each other. Guy fucks for the first time, but other guy. And I think he's, I don't think he's out of the closet. Really? He's still living like bro. That's hilarious. Yeah, there's so many, somebody had a bit in Baltimore about like all the not gay shit on Craigslist where it's just like half of the people are like, yeah, I'm a straight

guy. Just look at a, you know, watch football and suck off some dudes. And it's just like this fucking huge, you're on the gay hookup like alley of the internet. You're on the like Craigslist. You're on Craigslist. I'm not gay though. I just, you know, there's so many talk about being straight and just like, you know, Ravens and sucking each other off.

That's probably part of it. You remember that like post that used to go around the internet about like that guy who wanted to have like a meetup or like, he's like, basically I just want to recreate the sleepovers I had when I was like 12. So he's like inviting other middle-aged men over to his house where they would like play Super Nintendo and jack off with each other. And then if one person sucks off another person, it's like no big deal. It's like, you know, that guy's just hoping for it to become a big gay fuck.

He just needs plausible deniability. The amount you could lie to yourself, dude, about what you like to beat off to. Oh, for sure. The years. For years. Yeah. That's why you got to beat off to everything. Every type of porn.

Well, just to do it. Just to like see how women feel. I watch gay porn every night. Yeah. The Arthur Chu classic. I had a weird gay sex dream last night. Really? Yeah.

Well, I was watching, you know those like fat motorcycle twins? No. Uh, the, I forget their name. They did, they were professional wrestlers. You know that Simpsons episode where they have some trial and like Lionel Hutz is like, I'm calling in surprise witness after surprise witness and then they have those two fat twins on a motorcycle. Oh, yeah.

I remember them from the Simpsons episode, but I don't remember them yet. Yeah, yeah. That was like some cultural reference. I gotcha. I always forget their name and their story. One of them died, I think, but like. They weren't wrestlers or they were wrestlers? They were involved in wrestling at a certain point.

Okay. I think they had the record for being the fattest twins, but anyhow, it was, uh, it was them, uh, fucking each other and I like witnessed that. Wait. This is last night. Yeah. Last night. Two fat motorcycle twins fuck each other in the ass.

One of them had a strap on and then the other one had a vagina. So I think this is, okay, I got a story after you. Well, I think it was because there was an article that was shared. Yeah. About F to M's. Yeah. The F to M, uh, like man breastfeeding. There was like a man.

So what's happened a couple of times is that giant hairy tit and there's a baby drinking off of it and it like, I mean, yeah, that's where my transphobia kicks in right there. I'm like, oh, this is, I don't have any transphobia. It's just like, you know, and then I think it's incredible. It's the fucking, I'm like, all right, this is too much. I see that. And I'm like, come on. It's not too, it's not too much, but it's my reaction to that is like, now can we laugh

at it? Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's amazing. To a point where it's like, just take it fucking, I think it's beautiful. Shut the fuck up fucking. I just want to know.

I'm like, off your stance of, am I supposed to give up my seat to that on the train? I need to get up out of my seat on the train to let that person sit down. Like, yeah, if they are like a construction, that's interesting. You know, I don't, like, I don't understand how I'm supposed. So I guess it was seeing that picture and then that's what made me. How many times has an F2M asked you to get up from your seat at the train? Every time I sit on the train, it's always these trainees that are like, you're going to move, sir.

I'm also a man, but I have a pussy. Yeah. I actually, I don't think I've given up my seat on the train maybe once ever. I did once. I do it quite often. Sometimes when it's a mother with like a bunch of kids, I feel bad. Yeah. I was fantasized about like.

I feel worse for like mothers with like three kids. Absolutely. I have this fantasy in my head. I'll do where like, you know, like someone will ask me to get out of the seat. And then where I'm just like, you know, I'll like be like, well, yeah, that's fine. But just to let you know, I'm like a veteran. I was like. I lie to them that I'm a veteran and then people find out somehow and then every one

of the train beats the shit out of me. You steal ballet. It's like having like a fantasy. I have a trolling gone wrong, man, you just want your life, you just want your life, your way of life to end. You just want to be freed of this prison you've made for yourself. Some guy, some guy pretending to be a veteran on the train so he doesn't have to give up his seat to a pregnant woman and then people find out and beat him to death.

That's how I like, I think in my head, that would be honestly, yeah. If I heard that's the way you died, I would feel so happy for you. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why I create those scenarios in my head. That's beautiful, dude. Yeah. You know, you think about you're on the platform and they'll be like, you know, like a disabled person and you're like, what if I just pushed him on the tracks and you wouldn't do it.

But it's, you think it's like Tourette's or whatever. I never think of it with a disabled person. I think it was like Wall Street got like suit. I think it's just killing myself. I think about it. It's killing myself and like sometimes I'll fantasize about people pushing me on the tracks and like... It's now a nervous tick of mine that I say under my breath.

I say, I don't know. When people are fawning over like a baby, I just think about like how funny it would be if for like, just like, just wailed that baby in the face. How people would be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why. You could literally make a baby's head explode if you hit it hard enough.

Yeah. And it's like, I don't even want to punch the baby. I don't even want to be mad at me. This is the most enlightening fucking, this is the most psychological profile of Nick for these last three minutes. Yeah. I just want to be mad at me. Listeners of Come Town.

Because if they're mad, they're not paying it, they care. Listeners of Come Town, this is a public service announcement. Irony can ruin a brain. Yeah. Can break your brain. Yeah. Another part of that dream I had, like a weird thing last night. I had a dream.

I was at some event, like there was a show or something, but then the Joker showed up and he was ruining everything. The Joker? Yeah, the Joker was there. Who was it? Which one? He? It was Nebula.

Jack. Switch. He just felt like it was the Joker. Yeah. It was the Joker. Probably the one from the cartoon. Yeah. But then people were responding to the Joker being like, ooh, you're like a scary clown

that's so edgy or whatever. Yeah. And he was like, shut up. Yeah. And he was like, the Joker was getting defensive about it. Right, right, right. And then people were reacting to the Joker as if it was someone that thought they were the Joker.

Interesting. And then that was what was happening. That was after the twins fucked each other with a strap on? Yeah. One time I had a very weird, I was fucking just like, in my head, a beautiful woman. Like this was years ago. This was when I was like 16 or 17. And just like a beautiful, like, hairless woman.

I was fucking her in the ass. And then, like, I just turned around. And then at some point, she just turned around and she had my friend, Tommy's face in her head. Oh, yeah, I've had that. Yeah. And like Tommy is the ugliest friend I've ever had in my, like Tommy is like hilariously bad, dude.

You're in love with Tommy. You know what I'm saying? He's got this, yeah, he's got this weird skin tag on his ear that you just played with. Did you want to suck on? And he's just got like, cuddle with him and suck on his skin tag. He's got like this weird, like clown hair, like his hair looks like a shitty clown wig. And it's not, it was just one of the weirdest. He just went to Greek Orthodox church next day.

And that's where you had to leave Greek town. And that's, yeah, after that wet dream. People found out about that dream. What's Greek church like? Break that shit down for me. Greek church? Yeah. That shit lasts a nice long amount of time.

The costumes are wild. Is it mostly hors d'oeuvres? Yeah. Yeah. It's all fucking grape leaves. I feel like I'm holding this for you to dip the crowd. Dude, yeah. The costumes, they go off.

The priest have all this gold. They look so cool. I was an altar boy. I was an altar boy. You were. Is that why you had that dream? Is there a dream? It wasn't a dream.

The priest was a magic. Are they celibate? You're whispering it to me. Are they celibate? No, here's the thing. Greek priest, it's like if you want to go far, if you want to be like a bishop or some shit, you can't fuck. But if you just want to be like a community priest, you have to fuck.

You have to get a wife. So they fuck. So Greek priest fuck. So guess what's not an issue in the Greek church is fucking. Wait, what if you want to keep going? Can you stop fucking and be like a guy that's like, you know, I'm trying to get my life back together and not fuck. Once you get married, you're done, so you can't.

You can't become a bishop. Right. You rise to the race. What is it? Bishop, deacon, cardinal. I think deacon's much lower. Deacon's not even a priest. Deacon, you're trying to become a priest.

Then there's like fucking bishops and then there's archbishops. That's so complicated. I have all of the military ones memorized. Yeah. I don't fucking know. There's one guy. There's one guy named Bartholomew. They came through.

Lieutenant. Yeah. Private, private, first class, corporal, uh, sergeant. And then there's like first sergeant, like, master sergeant, gunnery sergeant. I think gunnery sergeant. With guns. No. That's like, that's a Marine Corps thing.

Yeah. I think so. I just remember that from when I was, when I went to fucking, I went to do a Marine tour and I learned shit about them that I wasn't expecting to. It was weird as shit to go on that tour and like meet people who enlisted literally right after 9-11. Like that's what, that's who, that's who they're like, and I was like, oh man. And they're just like, look, there's just these hardened fucking vets who've seen everything

they're fucking. You can tell they're fucked up. And then the younger Marines. Don't respect them. And then the young guys. Don't get close to respecting them on my show, dude. And then the younger ones are just like fucking kids who were too dumb to go to college. You know, like, not like, like, like half of it.

And they haven't seen shit. They're like 17, 18, oh yeah, poor kids for sure. From like middle of nowhere. Middle of nowhere, just like learning fucking, learning life. My friend joined the Marines when we were like teenagers and you know, like he grew up in a military family and I don't know, I feel kind of bad putting shit out there. But so like, I knew him my whole life and his mom was like a naval officer. And then his mom's roommate quote unquote was also a naval officer, which yeah, so he

had those donuts on tell time. Yeah. So he had like him, like just like dyke moms, yeah, and naval officer, yeah, those are real lesbians. That's as lesbian as it gets funny because I remember like bullying him about it when I was like six, yeah, yeah, like being like your mom's a dyke, you know, and I'm like, well, how did I know that, you know, fucking haircut. You heard it enough.

Yeah. Dad said it. No, it was my dad. Honestly, probably from just watching Jerry Springer and shit when I was like, the first time I heard it was because your dad's a bad dad. You didn't indirectly bad dad. How's your bad dad? Let me watch television.

Let me watch television. He's a good father. Yeah, that's what being sick from school for me was Jerry Springer. Yeah. You catch prices right then Springer. My mom, I don't know. She just, I didn't watch anything cool for a very long time. My dad will let me watch whatever the fuck I wanted.

My parents used to take me to like rated our way before I was old enough to. I saw a con air when I was like six with my dad. Did they make you beat off in the theater to nude scenes? I remember. Well, remember, there's a kid. There's a prison bitch. I'm just asking. I mean, there's a prison bitch character in Con Air, like the second the plane crashes.

He's just like opening. Yeah. He's putting on dresses. Yeah. And my dad just looks at me. I was like, I don't know. Maybe like nine or 10. And he just looks at me.

He goes, it's a vet. That's a very sick man. I don't know. He's a very sick man. Not in the part about like the rapist or no, no, he's no, the worst guy was the guy that liked to wear dresses. I guess. Yeah.

Well, it is. He is not the dude that had the Hannibal Lecter face thing on who was the bad guy. Who's like the ultra bad guy? Buscemi John Malkovich John Malkovich Cyrus, the virus Cyrus, that's such a good movie. What is star studded cast? They destroy Vegas in it. So, yeah, our con air is actually like, and then there's other ones like John Lithgau's in it.

Yeah. Yeah. Isn't he? The FBI guy? Maybe. Yeah. I think he is. Yeah.

It's Nick Cage. Danny Trejo who Brandon just learned about. Yeah. Buscemi. Is Ving Reims in it? Dude, it was so funny. Just to shit on Brandon real quick. We went to go get a sandwich and some guy was like, are you the Dix out for Harambe guy?

And then it was like, yeah, yeah. And then another guy outside of an event that Brandon was like hosting was like, are you the Dix out for Harambe guy? And then Brandon was like, oh, he tweeted, a million people have come up to be in New York asking me if I'm the Dix out for Harambe guy. And I was like, literally it has been two people, you fucking idiot. A million. Yeah.

He was like, people keep stopping me in New York. And it's like, no, motherfucker. Even if it was. Two people did. Even if it was a million people, what the fuck are you bragging about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, a joke I stole from a bunch of other people that I said. I think he made that one up, but he was Brandon has never made anything up in his life.

Yeah. Copy paste. We're done. I had a friend at college. Yeah. Iphone. Iphone or charger. His logo should just be control C control V on the on the world star comment section.

I had a nice time with Brandon. We went to it was nice to see him. We had we went to some stupid shit, some VMA pre party thing. Oh, yeah, dude. I ate a weed edible that was 25 milligrams THC. And then we like stepped outside and I was in Manhattan, like as high as maybe I was in like set, like, like ninth grade, you know, that kind of high. And I was just like looking at the building.

So I was like, this is fucking Mordor, man, we're in Mordor, man, I gotta get out of here. I hit. I did not like any of that MTV because it's like, I went like an MTV party with him after the thing. And he was like, this is just an office party, but everyone works at MTV. Oh, yeah. So she's like, just as boring as being an office where you don't know anyone, but it's like everyone also thinks they're cool.

If you know what I mean, the thing I went to had like an emcee for that was like, he's like a MTV personality Brandon told me. And he's just like on stage. He's like, it was so embarrassing. It was like the one camp counselor that was trying to be the cool counselor is like making announcements. Yo, I see y'all is like this, you know, this white, like pretty boy rapper dude. He's like, I see y'all taking pictures.

I see y'all in that snapchat. Make sure you use the VMA Taco Bell, live moss, geo filter anytime you take a picture. And people are just like clapping and I'm like, Oh God, this guy, this guy's life. He probably wants to kill himself. No, he loves it. Dude. I worked at Jimmy John's for four hours one time and the manager I had to report to was like two years younger than me and just like a fucking loser or whatever.

And I like stopped going there because he interrupted me while I was rolling up a sandwich or whatever. And I've worked at a billion fucking sandwich and short order grilled jobs or whatever. So I'm rolling up a sandwich and I started rolling it in like the deli paper from the corner and then you fold like a burrito. And I get about halfway through and he like puts his hand on the sandwiches and rolling it and he's like, you did what I like to call a subway wrap. And we actually do it different here.

And I was like, peace. See you later. You're gonna work with you micromanage. Like who's what customer is going to fucking like open their bag and be like, Oh, I can't wait to eat that. What the fuck? What the fuck is this? Why is it rolled like this?

I didn't go to subway and went to Jimmy John's where they got fun shit on the wall. It's so funny how people think. I mean, that is an example. No one matters, but that guy couldn't matter less. Oh, yeah. So he does. He's my friend's roommate. And I went to like hang out at their house one time.

And then I saw after you left Jimmy, yeah, and I saw the manager coming to the manager and I saw him come out of the room and like, but he like hit the, I work hard. I play hard like him off the clock and he's got like this shitty, stupid silk shirt on and like shitty son. Oh, yes. And he's like smoking a bowl thinking he's like so cool. And it's like, you're the least cool dude in this fucking head. Yeah, dude.

Everyone hates you. Everyone hates Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's sucks. Don't they make their workers sign non-compete clauses when they can't do sandwiches ever? I swear to God. Yeah. That's they, that was like a big thing. They pay like shit.

Yeah. Of course. Jimmy John. Yeah. He's one of those guys. He's one of those dudes that goes and kills giraffes. I was trying to do a bit about firehouse subs for a while, which is like a real regional thing.

Yeah. I think, yeah, they're only in the DC area. I think Virginia and DC. I think it started in Virginia. But like they're commercial. That's why the, well, it's also not a particularly funny bit, but I love the ads for firehouse subs or like, we're firefighters and we got tired of eating subs we didn't like. So we started our own place and it's like, yeah, that doesn't give you any credibility

when it comes to making sandwiches. Yeah. Firefighters aren't known for their sandwiches. Yeah. You're just trying to cash in on the fact that you're generally sympathetic. Yeah. Yeah. Which is so funny.

Well, it's like, why are you so busy the bit? Why are you so busy making it? Is that why we lost both of the towers? Yeah. Because you were busy fucking around with meatballs? Get in those towers. Put the fucking sandwich knife down. That's a good bit.

Yeah. I do love, and it was great when it would tank and then I was like, ah, it's because it's a 9-11 joke. And then people were like, what the fuck is firehouse subs? Yeah, it's hilarious. You were just being mean. Yeah. I love, firefighter is a great, like if you're a racist, just be a firefighter instead of

a cop. Or just be a racist and do whatever you want. No, I don't be, that's what I mean. If you were a racist though. What do you mean though? Like in terms of feeder occupations for racists, like blue collar racists, you could be a racist computer programmer. But your boss coming like, ah, Jeremy, great work, but why are all of your variable names

just slurred? I don't know anything about programming, I just context clues left at that joke. Yeah, yeah. Thanks guys. No worries. Well Adam didn't. Adam's not even holding the microphone to his face anymore. Yeah.

What do you mean? Well I know man, it's been 51 minutes. Sorry I didn't laugh at the racist computer program. It's been fucking better dude. Dude, are you a sleepy boy? You've been very woke this podcast, I gotta be honest with you. And I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

Say something offensive right now. Yeah, say it. Right now. Bitch. Say rape is good. Say something offensive. Say all that rape stuff you were saying. Tell the story.

No, I'm not gonna tell that. Alright, don't tell it. Damn, in the context of what we were just talking about, that's hilarious. You have to say something offensive though, for real. Right now. I don't, I don't like identical twins. I don't trust them. Okay.

That's right. That's just more of a... I think fraternal twins are worse, because there's one of them that clearly got fucked up. They fucked up jeans. Really? Yeah. There's always one that's got red hair and can't dance or sing.

I feel like if I had an identical twin, no fraternal twins are just like, they're not like, if I had an identical twin, I would 69 from the age of 13 to 17. Pretty much every day. Donald Trump's sons look like fraternal twins. They do, but they're different ages. I see what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, they're completely separate births.

One of his sons just has the softest fucking chin on earth. Who? Eric? I think so, yeah. One of them. The blonde one? No, no, the other one. I can't remember it's Eric or Brambo.

No. It's Brambo and Eric and Goose Step. Goose or his son's name. One of them looks exactly like Odo from Deep Space Nine. I don't remember what Odo looks like. He just doesn't have eyebrows in it. He can change shape. He's like a shape shifter, but he didn't grow up with a family or whatever.

So his natural, you know, it's funny, he just sleeps in a bucket on the show. He just turns back into a puddle of cum and at the end of the day, he goes back in his room and just like splash and just turns into electric cum. Yes, Nine was the Black Captain. Dick Stockton Nine, yeah. Deep Space Nine, Black Captain, Cisco. Cisco, Ben Cisco. And then I saw the other name Voyager and that's the Hillary Clinton.

That's Hillary Clinton. Oh, that woman is so hot. We've talked about this. The woman. Yeah. We've talked about Sergeant. She has big ass titties. Yeah, yeah.

And I wanted... What? Janeway? Doesn't one of them have big ass titties? The rogue, the Borg, Seven of Nine has huge titties. Yeah, she's so hot. Fuck. They didn't have a sexy lady character from the get-go on Voyager.

They had like a female captain and then I don't know the internal politics or what happened, but they added Seven of Nine in like season six or seven because they're like, all right, we got to have a character that's just a hot woman for girls to beat off to. And that's when she got added to the show. Oh, nice. Because they were like, you know, let's not do the fucking like on, like Deanna Troy on Enterprise, like she's just, which is the dumbest fucking character I love. Her job, but she was an empath, so she could understand people's feelings, which is an

alien, by the way. It's not even a fucking human to explain it to the autistic fucking retards that watch Star Trek, how empathy works, and they're like, well, there's certain aliens that understand how other people are feeling. I feel like that's, oh, that's interesting. We could use the false answer here, so artistic. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

Yeah. That's interesting. Everything's very interesting. Yeah. It's logic. It's just autistic. Yeah. This is not logical.

Yeah. Not very logical. Yeah. No. Women owe me sex. Those shows are great. This is an episode of Star Trek that we watched when I was taking French in middle school. Oh, Picard, French, obviously.

Wow. Jean-Luc. Yeah. That's the reason we watched it. It was a regular episode. Jean-Luc Picard? Yeah, where they meet this alien race, and so they have these... The original series?

No, next generation. TNG. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the reason they can understand all the aliens, it's like, they just have some computer that translate, it can pick up, it understands syntax, and it immediately translates. So they meet this race that it doesn't translate for, and only partially translates, because the way they communicate is by telling somebody a story, or reminding them of a story, and then whatever happened in that story fits the situation.

So this guy's trying to communicate with... Wow, that's really confusing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's like, you know, shaka when the walls fell, and this might be the name of the episode or whatever, and he's like, you know, Dalmauk at Tanagra, and he just says shit like that, and Picard the whole time is like, yes, but what does it mean? And I was like laughing with people on Twitter a couple months ago, like, instead of like the stories, the aliens are just being like, the pussy, the asshole, and the vagina, then

Picard being like, yes, but what does it mean? The asshole, the woman, the woman's asshole and pussy, what is that, some kind of warning? The woman's asshole and vagina, the pussy entrance. What is he trying to say? It wouldn't be hard to add it together. That would be so stupid. Yeah, you could do that. Yeah, so you just need a guy saying pussy asshole.

What have we got clothes on? What's happened recently? I haven't left my house, I bought a TV. Yeah, Nick's rich now. Nick's rich now. I've been a shut-in for three weeks. I've been a shut-in for three weeks. I've been working on that show, so I haven't really had time to go out.

What did you miss? Nothing dude. Nothing really. Oh, we have a show. Yes, next Sunday, we have a show. Did we finish booking it? Yeah, we're done. Oh yeah?

Yeah, I got Kurt. Hell yeah dude, that's a great show. Oh yeah, Kurt Metzger is going to be on the show. Dan Soder, Kurt Metzger, Anna Fabrega, you know, three-alt, super-altic, Fabrega, Fabrygia, Fabrog. Fabrog, Fabrog, Fabrog, Fabrog, Fabrogiani. I think that's enough. They'll do, we can let them do a little bit more time, let them do 12.

Are we planning the show on the podcast right now? Anyway, guys, on 9-11, September 11th, 11-9 if you're from Europe, we're having a show. Second, come on everybody, thank you so much for everyone that came out of the floor. Did they call it, didn't call it 11-9 elsewhere? Do they call it 11-9? No, they call it 9-11. Do we get to name it because it's our thing? You know, like when there's a war somewhere else, we get to name it because we're America?

I think they call it the 11th of September. Yeah, that's what they call it in Greece. Yeah. Well, we gotta put a fucking stop to that. Yeah, it's offensive. Yeah, it's absolutely offensive. It's offensive. They don't get to decide what our shit's called.

Dude, I agree. Fuck them. Does Trump know about this? I don't think he does. We have so much to learn. We're gonna stop them. We're gonna call it 9-11, like normal people. I love how the fuck he's trying to get black people to just vote for him.

Yeah, yeah. It's so awesome. Oh, I love it. Hey, what do you gotta lose? Everyone was mad about that in the writers' room, they're like, can you believe he said that? And it's like, one, yes. Two, like, for Trump, that's not a bad argument.

You know, like, try it out, you know, see if you like it. Yeah. That's kind of reasonable. Yeah. I mean, he's not gonna be like, yeah, I'm racist, but maybe you could be racist, too, against yourself. You know, like, what's he gonna say? Like, of course, you know, what do you have to lose?

Just so funny, just going to black churches, like, just completely, and just, I always love when they get just an insane person to be like, I'm a conservative black guy. I love those guys. That's the best. That's the best. Yeah. Well, he has that one pastor guy with the, whose throat hurts, he always has the sore throat.

Yeah. And he just shouts that. We should get a conservative black guy for the podcast. So we have on all the time. You want to? We could get the ghost of Patrice. Yeah. And then we get a conservative black guy that agrees with everything I say about Seth.

Check and really put Seth in a bind. Well, I can't disagree with the black person demanding to use the N word. I told him to stop. That's my favorite thing in the world. We were saying this yesterday. Why people asking black people not to use the N word so much. Oh my God. It is the best.

It is the best. Yeah. And then could you also just not use the water fountain either? It just depends on me. They used to drown people like you a little bit worried about using the water fountain and then also the bathroom just in case. Oh, fuck. Well, yeah.

So come out to our 11th of September show 11th of September at 9 p.m. Come on everybody on Franklin off the G train class in the stop in Brooklyn. It was really great last time when it was really good guys. I'm not saying that just to brag like we and we really appreciate all the come boys that came through and come people really. No, come boy is not a gendered term. Yeah. Come boy, you could be a girl.

Come boy. Yeah. Come boy. So give us money, please. And yeah, give us some fucking give us well, we got to set up a we're going to start doing premium content. We're going to do like an extra episode or something. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. And if you want to do that shit, you got to pay extra bitch. We'll figure it out. We're going to start doing two episodes. We'll get done. Yeah. And then we'll put one episode behind the paywall.

We're going to go to Sunset Park right now and get the most fires. Yes. If you're listening live on barbecue, come hang out. No, I want to get some barbecue. What are you? I ate so much. Yeah. Yeah.

Whoa. Whoa. Where's the barbecue? One of them with that. One of them with that opportunity. You can't wait. Is it? No, dude.

Down syndrome. You're out of order. Down syndrome. But you know, you're out of order. You're out of order. You're out of order. Who, man? Who, right?

It doesn't change. Yeah. Who, ah. Who, ah. Oh, we were singing on the way over here. Down East or Alexa by Springsteen is by Billy Joel. Billy Joel. Yeah.

Billy Joel. Jewish Elvis. Well, I'm on the Down syndrome, Alexa. Then my hands are up on a tits, whatever. You change it. And you put in the hotel, and they say she's slow, but them titties ain't retarded. Yeah. What a great joke.

Yeah. Man, I'm changing all those. I had, everyone at the office, I got them with the, well, I'm the kind of guy that fucks his mom and dad. That's perfect. That was making the rounds. That might be the best one you've done. My favorite one is, dad, dad, fuck my dad.

I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad.

I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. I fuck my dad. Yeah, no, that one's a good one. That's great. I think that's a good way to close, boys. Yeah.

Oh, no, the other Down East or Alexa one was, well, I'm busting inside the vagina, which doesn't really fit, but that was been stuck in my head for a week. I was kind of hoping the cat would throw up or shit again, because it was such a great way to end the podcast. Yeah, I don't want to see that ever again in my life. I guess not. When that cat threw up, I was like, I'm screaming, fam. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, oh, oh, oh, wait. That's Brandon, famous comedian Brandon Wardell. Well, Twitter personality. Yeah. All right. We got to go. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Well, what do you think if we put the kids on the floor? We don't. Yeah.