The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - 35

and we're back back from break whoo the break between episodes yeah I was I did that they confuse you damn I'm fucking flustered so you're listening to come town no longer in the Anthony Kumiya studios we're now broadcasting live from the black lives matter yeah the top of the the black pyre state building yeah I'm we've changed all of our last names to Africa yeah I'm bombada stavros bomb my name is my name I was gonna do Nick X because you know Mullins my slave name right but I decided that Nick is also my slave name so now xx oh tight no it's dosa keys you're the most interesting guy he sucks dude the

old guy was much better who's the new guy he's having you ugly fucking another old-ass white man that's what I'm tired of it's yeah dude I'm as a as a POC yeah the Mediterranean the jury's yeah you are one of the lower European I'm trying to get the Nazis back on board you know you're not like a Romani gypsy but the Greeks are a couple rungs above yeah we fucked the Nazis up actually in the fucking world in World War two night and what you three we fucked that Italy and slipped on fed up fuck book you actually beat the Nazis were the Russians everyone else thinks they did now we've we held the Russians get off

them by my growing 20 million bodies you guys get sucked by dick the Russians beat the Nazis and no one else helped or did any we help me off the day was not now we held off both Italy and France Italy couldn't fuck our ass and Germany had to come in they had to do a two-front war on Greece what we were throwing rocks and shit at them we fucked them up with superior big dickery also fuck both you piece of shit because I was right about means and averages shouts out to the list oh yo shout out to my friend Hadas who played that part of come town for her middle school math class that got us all laughed

at by a group of affluent Brooklyn middle schoolers why you need to learn why you need to be a child I wasn't really even listening shut up if you're right you're wrong and you don't need to know the difference between means and look at this pivot dude look at this fucking pivot I'm right I'm right in this no social sciences like what things you need to know or what's gonna happen to 14 ages who commit a hate crime I'm usually right and I'm fucking right in that instance and I'm writing this one you don't need to first of all why do they have two words for a thing things have one name it's a kind who

cares the point is I'm right we can move on now boys fine well what were we talking about anyways what was the under oh income I don't fucking remember who doesn't matter who cares but yes the Greeks the Greeks held off the Nazis I'm right about I'm a mathematician and you're both really it was the Jews who held off the Nazi yeah they did they were a little preoccupied Russians through a bunch of people at the Nazis but you should see what the fucking juice now that is a war of attrition there listen we played the long game yeah it's like how much different if there was like a Jewish army how much different would

their participation be than what actually happened that they just can't hold the guns dropping them there was three years later there was a Jewish army that did well they killed the Arabs you're just basing this on video games so easily by the way the sinister ass Arab music yeah anytime that Arab music is playing you know something bad it's about that well I think the way the Jews beat the Arabs is they did the they had a flute player go dad at that I think that's what it was that's a theory yeah well their only weapon at the time was a snake that comes out of a basket right exactly yeah I think that's true

probably yeah political access that's true what was the like rhyme for that Wasn't there like a childhood rhyme? Yeah, something where you do and then there's a place Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then the dick goes in something Yeah, yeah, what is that talking about ass fuck? I don't know. There's always a song. There's always a song about killing your teacher Right. Yeah, it's always something like that. Also the jingle bells Batman. We never hit on that on the holidays Jiggle Bells Batman version. I think Patty Moe had a had a big did big numbers on the tweet about that Yeah, do you think?

DC Comics was the originator of that rhyme. Yeah, that was a viral mark Like an old Jewish ad man like in a yeah, you know in a We're gonna do a song. It's gonna be a song about Batman, but look it's gonna make Batman seem bad So you get people to see And we're gonna it's this is look this is part of a long 50-year campaign that were Jewishly calling the war on Christmas And it starts with Batman That's where it all came from yeah, that was the first viral marketing

Yeah, do you think can you believe that Pete like the fact that people thought Smirnoff ice wasn't behind icing people? Yeah, that's so stupid Fucking bro was doing like oh dude. It's so gay to drink Smirnoff ice. It's like now. You got to chug this drink Yeah, this free drink That shit was fucking dumb as hell where they were behind it. Absolutely. I never thought you never thought I never like Smirnoff ice thought too hard about it. No, yeah, I think Blake midget is still like icing On like Instagram or something pictures of him like drinking Smirnoff ice Plays the kind of guy that we just drink Smirnoff ice. Yeah. Yeah, but you drink anything

That's why I love when people talk about how like oh like oh, I'm you know, I was an alcoholic and I just I couldn't get enough Belvedere, you know, it's like you know real alcoholics just drink. Yeah, they're like battery Doesn't fucking matter. Yeah Fuck boy, I'm feeling sick dude I did the creek in the cave high show the high five show we just get stoned as hell and I split like There was like 12 blunts going around this room. It's just people. I don't know. Yeah, I know I got some kind of weird Yeah, what if you got aids from sharing blunt? That's happened that can happen dude. That's how that's how big L died

He's looking at a very large joint. No, I got a big L had AIDS, but he died from being murdered Bill big L got God. He didn't have AIDS. No, he got God, but he also had it. Oh, he did not have AIDS We can look this up a lot more people than you think had a big L did not have AIDS He was a goon and he got got in the streets easy. He had a Walt Disney at AIDS Well, he definitely had a Walt Disney at AIDS Franklin Delano Roosevelt Yeah, just on the lower half of his body Stopped it. Yeah, fuck so much back that back then you could isolate AIDS. Yeah

Dude, you know FDR a pussy like a champion dude because his dick didn't wear his whole lower back body No, he just couldn't walk. I don't think polio affects your dick. I bet you it does it Well, I know paraplegics can still use their dick It's two different systems, but they don't get they don't get their dick doesn't feel good. What? No, they come in shit Yeah, yeah They got a horse together. Yeah, Lieutenant Dan was doing that to show that he wasn't inadequate. He didn't feel good How do you know I can I do I've read the subject who's my hero is I love my favorite my favorite person in all of cinema is the principal from Forrest Gump

We might have a spot The one that Sally feels sucks off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude Sally feels a fucking tramp, dude Yeah sucking him off her retarded son. She should just put him in the fields and then she fucking lies about Why does he go to war? He's retarded let the man stay and he's not actually retarded That's why Tropic Thunder is such a great movie They explain it perfectly because he's half retard because he's not full retard. Yeah, like false gum kind of slow But not retarded. He was retarded, dude. I think he was yeah, I think he was like my my cousin He owns a business doesn't he go to the Olympics in that movie that movie look Forrest Gump sucks dick, dude

Yeah, ping-pong of table tennis part, which is a retarded sport Um, no, it's just one that's not the retarded sports are like power walking Opening a fortune cookie Uh, yeah flipping your eyelids inside out Pulling your pants all the way down at the urinal, yes, that's how they put the metals on and you have the claspid in your ass Somehow it's a perfect 10 every time they do that Fuck yeah, no, that is so great that he just fucks for a retarded eating free samples at the mall Yeah, that's a that's a crossover of fat and retarded. Yeah, well a lot of them they share

Well, the powerlifting at the special Olympics has to be world-class It's it's four times the regular power They have diminished strength it's they don't that's not a real thing that they have extra strength. Yeah, really? I disagree They just have I you know what I think it is on them that have beaten me up. They have a limited pain response Everything's diminished. So it's not that they're stronger. It's that they just don't feel pain like it's like being on meth or angel I just remember this kid in middle school when we're doing the president presidential fitness challenge doing like a hundred pull-ups And I'm like Jesus fucking Christ and then in the locker we used to make him pull down his pants and show us He's told the story giant monster. So you molested a retarded kid. We didn't molest it

We're just like with your eyes Robert. Should anybody touches dick and no one touched it. No way even as he thought it was cool That we all laughed. I mean We all laughed that is so the precursor to molestation. You know there was no more station and I was not part of it I was 30 seconds ago, so we used to get him to show us no I used to obviously always tattle to the to mr. Pryor our British gym teacher who we found out throughout the year had testicular cancer and we made so many ball jokes To this poor gentleman is he dead. I don't know. I think he's alive testicular cancer is pretty treatable, right?

You just get your yeah, you're not of your British because most they're proud. Yeah, they only have one ball anyway That's very small. Yeah Testicular cancer for the part of that's part of like There's circumcision processors. They have the other ball removed and the other one shrunk with tea Yeah, it makes sense testicular cancer for the British. They're very proud. So it's like a it's like a British naval captain going down with his shit Yeah, yeah My bollocks are inflamed. I'm going to die from it. I will not elect for for surgery Yeah, this is my one bollock. I've been given

Number two disease in in Britain is of course bad posture. Yeah, and gingivitis number three. Yeah Skoliosis is basically it's terminal over there You just loop over till you're yeah, so if you can't stand up straight, you know, yeah, they put you to death Oh, so that's an execution type situation sort of yeah And if you stand up really straight, is that how you get to be the guy who guards the Queen with those hats? Yeah, the Marge Simpson hats. Yeah, I always thought that is there a real can you really because in every like in so many pieces of media It's like, oh, they can't move at all. They can't do anything like I'm sure so many people get arrested thinking that Oh, yeah, of course for sure. Yeah, like they couldn't like suck their dicks in the Simpsons homers

Like they go to England homers like fucking with one of them. He just gets punched in the face What do they do they guard Buckingham Palace? Yeah, what a trash name for a palace. Yeah Buckingham. Welcome to Swashbucket Palace So we put the Queen When's that bitch gonna die though? When's that Queen? Let's talk. They always have more Queens, dude Who's the next Queen Charles Charles? He has to he has to good be trans Regnant is that what it is? I'm not calling him King. I'm calling him Queen. They're Charlie. There's always clean, baby Yeah, I've always been team Chuck. He got cucked by that by that tramp Diana

With some like Muslim guy, right? I was and then they killed them in that tunnel. We don't know what happened that time Dodie al-Fayed Dodie al-Fayed is that as they yeah, that's a good pull. Yeah. Well, it's oh, I'm a huge princess Diana expert Actually, I had the princess Diana beanie baby the purple one which came out the day before she died By the way, wait, that's really interesting. That is true. Oh, yeah, they knew dude I think that T why the beanie baby company was behind it did to do the murder sales Yeah, they were going downhill like at the plot of like one of the shittier later Pierce Brosnan James With the would you see tomorrow never die? Yeah, where they get my be the worst Yeah, the only good news mr. Bond is bad news

I don't think I've seen well, basically the plot of tomorrow never dies as James Bond has to stop Gawker Essentially, that's who the bad guy in that movie is just Nick Denton. He's like a weird gay British guy It just loves bad news And so he's like starting some war with you play that guy Malcolm McDowell no not Malcolm McDowell Andy daily Andy dick and I can't remember that actor's name now fuck whatever it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter Andy Circus

He was in a he was doing I knocked you off course. He was a CGI gorilla First of all fuck Andy sir. Yes. What are you talking about? actor in Hollywood sucks dick dude anyone can do that shit Oh the fucking walk around on all fours and looks sad Jonathan price Jonathan price. Yeah, how do you feel about Andy circus? He sucks dick, right? I think he's the best actor in Hollywood They put small little bubbles that shit sucks my small motion bubbles so they get all his facial acting that shit is like PlayStation-level facial acting. I don't know dude. I think that I could do that so easily There you go, dude, that's good

Did you see the apes he just scowled he's a fucking monkey that shit is not hard to do You know I got Anthony the best actor is the guy inside R2-D2 Yeah, that that is way more impressive than jumping around in a fucking scuba suit was really sweaty and frowning and yes Cuz it's hot that's harder. That's way harder than fucking just being what was he doing inside R2-D2 in the Star Wars movie No, no, but they have a fucking that they haven't like see 3PO. Yeah, he's just like jacked He's an autistic C3. Wait, wait, there's a jacked C3. Yeah, just a big-ass fucking black But he talks the same way. Yeah, yeah, no, he's not so he's like either plays Elmo no C3 Big black guy that just has some weird gay voice. No, no, no, this guy wasn't like a gay British guy

He was just more of like an emotionless. No, he was a gay British guy. Was he? Yeah, he talked exactly like C3PO C3PO talked like someone was always pulling his pants. He turned it down a little. Yeah, he's Not right now C3PO just talks like he's just like you're 30 seconds too quick into gay sex That's so funny, I mean he just he does not black at all He just dude I that would have been cool if he talked about that gamer gay shit is fucking real I'd like I'm back into gaming now and like literally every game. It's like, yeah, you play Play a gay trans black woman

Yeah, no, it is true FIFA's like that. I haven't played the FIFA FIFA you have to play an interracial Who's white foe who's a abusive white father has left his abandoned him? He has to be raised by his black mom, but that is Battlefield one or you play as a black guy. It's a World War one and that's when the army was segregated Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they like they have it as which you know, I don't give a shit Do they white watch the the segregation World War one? No, there's just no white people. You can what was the first war that was desegregated Vietnam. No World War two No, World War two is still segregated

That's when it happened in them. I thought it happened like in the middle of World War or after no, I think it was Vietnam I think everyone was gay would have been Korea because it was it definitely happened after World War two Everyone was blazing up in Vietnam and they're like, you know, you're black. I'm white. We're not so different It was the unifying war. Yeah. Yeah, everyone fucked horse together shit sucks, dude Well, there were like all getting I think The second second long time you love you long there were there were like operations like he's like you fuck you fuck you there were like Integrated regiments and shit like as I know like perching

Didn't he have didn't like perching control like black Regiments or something while he was prior to him being a general. Yeah, I think so I think World War two is when it's no, no, that would be that would be like like the Spanish-American war Oh, Spanish that goes. Yeah, wait, like purse like like the turn of the century. Mm-hmm. Well, I'm sure yeah Obviously, they always used fucking black people to fight like they just yeah, whenever they could they would use black Yeah, yeah, it's on yeah uncool shit. That's what America's history is. It's just like shit We don't want to do shit white people don't want to do they just made black people do so I'm sure black people fought in every war And we're back the same way. That's the same way. Well, they were actually wouldn't they wouldn't let them

They would have to have like supply rolls and shit and be like hooks. Yeah, I mean, but they would make them do shit in every war Yeah, right Were they where they're black combat? Oh, yeah glory never mind. I was gonna ask the Civil War, but then obviously Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah by watching a brilliant move at Denzel Washington Matthew Broderick Well, you know what that doesn't show is that a lot of a lot of black people We're actually happy and fought for the south. It's kind of like yeah, yeah unfair, you know, yeah They really want it simpler life. They're trying to sign up And we're back on that

Dinesh de Souza. He's doing a fucking a fucking Goddamn documentary about that shit that racist Indian guy, right? Is he about how the blacks wanted to fight? I don't know. It seems her in the Civil War Oh, no, here's a movie a CSA The Spike Lee we're about like if the South had won That's that's a cool idea. Well, I remember seeing the fucking trailers for it and it didn't look cool because it was like Everything's the same except there's slaves And it's like, yeah, I don't I don't think everything else would be the fucking same. Well, there wouldn't be any peanut butter. We know that yeah

I Whoa fuck that shit. I would love it if he made that movie and fucked up and he's like, oh, yes I guess white people invented rap music It's just utopia Just flying cars, right? I mean technology would probably be further along Yeah, you have more opportunity to exploit labor. Yeah, I mean think about it. I think like incorporate I mean, I guess isn't there arguments that like the industrial revolution kind of did away with a need for slavery anyways There is that argument. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean it attack needs it for like the precision manufacturing

Imagine if you could have slaves making the iPhones you that was all do right keep the jobs in America We could all save like probably like 20 bucks a pop Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, you know how many sign-up Keep them in cotton, but you get slaves really into screen printing and then you get on-demand custom t-shirts whenever you want Literally any idea you think I have a big plantation and you you know, you get up the t-shirt So it's vertical. I want a shirt and it's got Tony Danza and it says who's the boss on it I have a specific idea of how about sure and I told me closer Mm-hmm Danza. Oh, I like that. Yeah, but yes, that's great

Wait, you get rid of so you get rid of all copy copyright laws to for the for these no It's not copyright infringement if the slaves do it The slave will be sued in execute. They're not making any money That's how you do it. They get they get all the well, I think that this is a very decent Concept, but we should actually try to pitch it to the new Attorney general Jefferson Beauregard Beauregard sessions. Yeah, PG. Did he get the confirmation happening today, right? I thought I saw there was a tweet that people were making fun of today that said

Say calling him Jefferson Beauregard sessions is is exactly the same as calling him Barack Hussein. Oh my god It's a reference to like a contrarian general We're not making fun of him for having an ethnic name. It's so fucking retarded. I Hate dude. They're like listen. He's bad, but using his full name liberals are fucking pussy-ass Let's go after these pieces shit. They're never gonna win the argument against calling him Beauregard is that it's like Literally, we'll do nothing. Did you know learn nothing from the drum thing right? Because it's weak. You sound like a fucking retard exactly. That's the argument Beauregard check out this bumper sticker slogan I'm gonna run with for the next fucking four right. It's not some kind of idea of decorum. Yeah, Republicans give a fuck

They're trying to take everyone's health care away Don't give a fuck about you Fuck man Beauregard, but hopefully that motherfucker doesn't get in. I don't fucking know he's he's actually like Satan incarnate It's you heard that you heard the KKK quote, right? No idea. That's my favorite. Oh, yeah, what about weed about we Yeah, well, he's like well, it's not like they're smoking weed. No, he said he thought he thought they were like decent He he knew some KKK people who thought they were decent until he found out they smoked Like that was the fucking deal breaker for this hate. Oh, man He's actually like that's the definition of the worst person in the world. Yeah, it's scary dude, but whatever dude

Yeah, we're gonna fucking we're gonna podcast through this We're gonna we're gonna be here for that. We're part of the resistance, right? Yeah, we're gonna help Hilary Yeah, so you're gonna be mayor or is she gonna be like Hilary is better be great Hilary they just they dug into that on the last chapeau. So I feel like oh, did they miss the boat on that one? Damn I would start taking shits on the subway. Yeah With Tom I was saying that's who she's gonna That's who she's gonna lose the election to is the guy that takes shits on the subway

Some homeless guy named dangerous eddie I got Truth to eat and I got a shit to take and there is damn bitch think she's gonna keep me out of the mansion She can suck my cock Listen everyone's like he can't talk about women that way. He's like you're goddamn right. I can You're fucking cunt I like dangerous eddie because he says what's on his mind. Absolutely. You know, you know I want to see back when he used that knife to threaten that starbucks, barista

When he brought that a man of squirrel bones That pen knife into that starbucks and threaten people it made me feel like you know This is a new yorker that I can relate to It's true. No, dude. I want the rent is too damn high guy back. Yeah, that guy fucking ruled What's he up to dude? I don't know because you know what the rent is not paying rent Oh, that was the rents are dropping that was dropping off in new york. Yeah, there was a longer. It's no longer Sellers market It was told that

But yeah, I think that there was a rent freeze like two years ago where they like I think de blazio said you you're not allowed to raise lazy. Oh, yeah, that'd be cool That was just If you just changed the shit to de blazio 420 blaze it up. That's why I voted for him But he already did that's not his name. His name isn't de blazio. What is it? It's like walter fucking Maclean or something. Hey, that is Malcolm X. He has some yeah No, yeah, no, he adopted like an ira or an italian name because it sounds more new yorker or some bullshit Yeah, his real name isn't fucking de blazio

What? Hold on. Let me look it up. His real name is talib quelli Yeah, what if he's just like the Adam, I can't have you go into the phone while Nick's going to the phone. It's not dude. Sorry. Sorry. Come on, man What's in there? What's in there nothing you tell me? No, I want to know What was that notification? They might buzzed. I looked at it. What was it? Yeah, uh, bill bill de blazio born warren willheim jr. Will Yeah, so he's a german. Yeah, he's like a god damn crowd. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh my god, I don't have a cool deniro style Italian that fucks black ladies as my mayor

Yeah, you know, it's some bullshit trick to get people to think he's like, you know Like a cuomo. Oh, that's I'm changing my name then To to veto gaba ghoul. I'm saying I want to change my name to richard dick penis nixon You gotta have quotations around both It's a forward all hyphenated name. Yeah Fuck man. I gotta change my name dude for show business Dude, we are real new yorkers now. We've been here for over a year each all of us Oh, I guess his mom's name is de blazio

Oh Father was of german ancestry and his maternal grandparents were italian immigrants. Did he grow up with them? His grandfather giovanni It was from the city of Santagas Santaga the god god fucking italy, man Sant, there's just how many fucking apostres fees are in the name of this fucking town four four Uh, how many vowels? One two three four five six seven. They love vowels

Santagata gatti benavento Wapolini Hey, it's me wouldn't it be awesome to go in to be to go in a fucking store, uh, uh Pizza place and be like, yeah, can I have one slice of pepperon? I love it. It's like when uh, latino newscasters are always like, uh, tonight in miami Problems facing that latino community, but they never do it when it's like Uh earlier this morning an illegal immigrant from mexico ran over an entire uh field trip of children While drunk off a tequila

They don't do it in those situations. It's always when they open a foundation for battered women Why not do it across the board when they're embracing the other parts of their culture that don't obey, you know speed limits or I think that have insurance Yeah, that'd be a really funny. He was drunk driving Drunk driving the other newscasters like what the fuck are you doing? It's like i'm trashed I got drunk with the weather girl trying to fuck her again That dude won't fuck me that dude on cnn rick sanchez. Do you remember him? Yeah, yeah, yeah

He killed someone killed somebody and then he just cried about it like a fucking 15 year old girl and they're like, it's okay Yeah, he was drunk at a dolphin's game Yeah, and then like he hit someone slammed his truck into somebody pinned them killed them killed him drove home drove home Yeah, what yeah, and then like 10 years later. He's on cnn and then it comes out later that oh, yeah 10 years ago He killed someone wait. So this was post. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He had a whole career He worked his way up to to major cable news. Yeah, did he get fired anything or no He's not around anymore. I mean if you're rich you can do whatever the fuck you want even rich I mean he's on tv which which it compliments being rich right it helps you you really can

You know, I mean look at casey aflech who's Which by the way if you didn't hear the story Uh, he tried to have sex with a woman. He was working with on the set of uh, I don't know some fucking stupid Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and as you know hitting on a woman is basically the same. I saw a meme that was like what happened Uh, that's it. That's all that happened. He invited himself into her hotel room and she was like leave and then he did But that's really that's it's rape to do that. I saw a meme that was like, uh, Yeah, accusations of rape really destroy a career and it's like casey aflech holding a golden globe woody allen holding an oscar And it's like all right, but yeah, he just he just tried to fuck a girl like I didn't I didn't know the case

Yeah, it's absolute horseshit the casey aflech one is horseshit casey anthony also That little girl deserved it. I agree And you know what she was a mom, but she's a lot that fun, too Hi, I'm nancy grace and if you think your child should be murdered next, please call in Send us the details. We will find a killer To come and murder your child and we'll cover it for seven to rape your baby Yeah, things are not going well here at the nancy grace studios and we've got a new We're actually we're gonna be proactive about it. We are going to murder your toddler

In an effort to boost ratings. She well, she loves to say baby Baby, yeah, she doesn't say a child or you know infinite. She goes baby They fuck that baby. What happened? She never had kids or anything to she's a rape prosecutor or something, right? No, she was a prostitute. Oh, no, no, she was a prostitute for uh, 15 years Her husband or her fiance got murdered and then she turned into like a the fucking hulk Yeah, that's what happens though like fucking john walsh john walsh the best thing to ever happen to him was having a son kidnapped No, i'm serious beheaded. Yeah, you made a whole career. I'll wait. This is like american style beheading Americans most wanted yet. This isn't like terrorist shit. Yeah. Yeah

That's because it a non-terrorism beheading. Did he get this is hilarious? Yeah, they found his head in like the some body of water. Well, maybe it just fell off Oh, it was it was like uh It was like a it was like a maybe the kids got a loose head You never know. Yeah, you don't know sometimes these kids. They got loose heads. I don't know like a lego man The bodies are so small and the heads are so big on some of these kids Yeah, but uh, no, my wife. She was drinking the entire pregnancy now Now he's got a huge head. He's famous off off, you know, it's sun being murdered now

I can't imagine the pain of what that's like to go through but I think I would like to be famous If maybe I should have a kid and and what if we hire someone to what if we kill at it? Wait, hold on. This is the plot if you guys kill me the podcast will probably do great Yeah, this is the plot of the come town movie. Oh, let's hear. We all adopt a son and then pay someone to murder him so he can become the three fathers that are famous for having a murdered son And it's like the producers except we kill a boy We're in a polyamorous gay relationship three men. It's perfectly normal 2017 do we get away with it? How does it end? Of course we get away with it become famous

Yeah, we get we fuck so many girls after so the kid is just like that's like the first 15 minutes as we adopt a kid And we kill it and then the rest is us just fucking and sucking in Hollywood and buying playstations. I love it Let's fucking get a treatment going Um, what happens in act three? They find out we murdered the kid So what do we have to do? We have to get a mccarthur green genius grand So we lose everything and then yeah, we win the millennium prize We figure out some math problem

That's how we get we get a million dollars for doing it. Yep. And if we didn't kill that kid We would never figure out that tough math thing. Yeah, and then we have it. We do a boat. We get a boat on international waters And then we can murder all the kids Learn more kids because at that point we're addicted to it. Yeah, and really it's an allegory for fame and cocaine Children represent cocaine in this. I love it. I still have that coke we should do. I mean, I'm feeling sick now, but Yeah, sometimes soon this weekend. I gotta take it easy. I don't yeah, it's been making It's I don't like it. Yeah, I just want to get your coke fees dude, dude I just do it. I just do it. That's the fucking problem. I like I sat and just did like a bag by myself

When a couple weeks ago and it's like, all right, I got it. I cannot do this for another six months I've never done that. Yeah, it's Lewis. Well, I mean, that's why I can't do anything. Yeah, I hear it You're the only reason I was doing a blow at all is because I don't particularly like it And then it was like, you know, I can do this thing that I don't really enjoy because it's too fucking expensive But it's just been like all over the place lately. Right. And I mean, I'll abuse anything Of course, literally fucking anything. I'll turn it into a fucking addiction. What's the dumbest addiction you ever had except PlayStation power tools, right? I guess that's yeah, that was definitely really fucking stupid Mm-hmm. No, it's cool. You can make shit with that. You can make shit out of coke shut up

Don't tell him it's cool power tools is cool If you're like stupid to just keep buying fucking tools just in general just a haveling Well, yeah, if he doesn't have like a shop and he's not working on stuff all the time He lives on a fucking piece of plywood He sleeps on a piece of wood, but you should come make a fucking little shelf in my kitchen, dude Yeah, I'll do that. I had no problem making a shelf Yeah, I'm trying to get I'm trying to get a state a juicing a blending station in my kitchen Oh, so I'm just DM me and ask them to

Retweet them Don't don't do that That's like the one thing, uh That's poor ass etiquette. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it's not like it's not like oh, I'm worried about my fucking brand or whatever, but People are gonna be like, why are you fucking retweeting this person? Right Well, is it good? Is it funny? I don't know. He didn't even show me a specific tweet. He just asked me to retweet them Is he cute? Do you want to fuck him? No, well, he'd trade retweets for head. Yes, I would of course, of course

So I'm open for but me and Adam are more than many followers. I'm worried about the integrity of my uh Yeah, that is that is your magnum office, dude. Yeah, the the mullin like thing to that Yeah, it's good. Just sneeze directly on the microphones that aren't fixed any One of us we all share I'm not that sick. I'm a little sick. You really I mean you just couldn't move the microwave it No, you know on his hand. You sneeze is mostly on this fucking microphone. I did it on my hand. Um Yeah, all right. Well, yeah, but anyway, we will to trade retweets for head me and Adam We don't have that many followers. Well, I'll trade less for head

I mean more actually, I don't know. I don't know how that works. What's the most you would trade for head? The most I'd trade for head. Yeah A jewel a ruby. Yeah. Yeah For one Yeah, yeah, I do I do like a like a one of those one of those fancy uh nickels From a buffalo nickel buffalo nickels Um, what's that called when you're into a institution when you're into coins

being gay Or uh stamps they have like weird names being autistic whatever. I don't even know I brought that up stampers No, there's like a stupid fancy name for people to collect coins and stamps Collectors no american pickers. No, you guys ever watch american pickers No, what is that it's like storage wars. It's two guys going around Doing storage wars doing storage wars. They do storage war. Yeah, they just go to basements and shit and try and get fucking Like poor hoarders to to give them the most prized possession for less money than they know it's worth It's pretty cool. I'm looking up. I found a diamond encrusted menorahs

How much uh, this one's uh, $2,300. Yeah, I can get you that's not bad. I can get you better Get me better. I get for you. I can get you better dude. Let's buy a diamond encrusted You know what I want? I want a menorah that's diamond encrusted, but all the diamonds are all in the shape of like dollar signs All over the menorah. Is there a jewish rapper with a menorah chain now? That's their jewish rapper. There was there was a modest yahoo. There's modest yahoo modest yahoo to me is like And modest yahoo and bill marra the two most embarrassing people. I don't see who stinks. Yeah. Yeah, he stinks I remember my parents like came to me with a cd one day

I was like in high school. They're like, all right adam bear with me. Don't interrupt me bear with me It's a it's a reggae guy. Okay, but he's also A rabbi and I was like get the fuck out of my room right now You know and then I go to school and like kids are listening to it. Like he didn't have a run school He didn't have a run just regular kids were listening to a non-jews one song that was just like kind of okay But yeah, that I was thrown for a fucking loop. I was like, I had no idea how my mom got that one, right? He's also yeah It made no sense. They just lucked into it. Jews will claim everything jewish is cool. That's like that's that's a fucking

That's their go-to move claiming anything jewish is any time a jew isn't anything my friend sent me a picture Ben Shapiro is pretty cool years ago. My friend sent me this picture. It was some like some israeli like tourism board Uh promotional poster. Oh my god from like 1991 And so like anything from 1991 isn't gonna look cool, right? But uh, it's these like like uh Really just sort of crusty looking jewish girls like uh at the Dead Sea right the Dead Sea and they're floating in the Dead Sea And they got tivas on you showed me they got tivas on and they're floating in the Dead Sea and then on the bottom It just says being jewish is cool Yes, can we get

I wish I can't even find the picture anymore. There's like I laugh. There's like these new um Damn, I want that. This is this is super fucking embarrassing But they're these new like hazbarah facebook pages that like try to do fight the israeli Uh anti You know the israeli propaganda war through like memes. Oh, yeah, and they're like dat feeling when The palestinians want to say that you occupy All right They are it's it's probably what there were some of the most embarrassing things i've ever seen in my life

Yeah, that's shit. So I love people just trying to get on there were some super bizarre russian like memes going around last week You see that shit? Well the yeah the russian embassy When they kicked out the diplomats tweeted a picture of was it a duck or something duck And it was like It's like uh and then wendy's also tweeted a pepe wendy Do you remember that no, yeah wendy's tweeted pepe wendy Just fucking and then apologize because it's racist. Yeah, this is like the word like the dnc fired their entire like video production staff Like on congressional like video production staff and they're like we need to refocus on memes

Oh, god, they like people thinking that like that that's the future. I mean, can't we just fucking do as a political consultant? probably is Probably already gets killed by the russians That would be such a fucking tries to work with them Oh, he would switch sides so quick. Yeah If the russians don't have a side he's devoid of any kind of allegiance to anything That's what I mean though. There's no sides He's not a guy you have to worry about being like too faced or whatever. He doesn't even have one face

Right. He's like a ball of putty. Yeah, he has constantly tweeting things. Yeah You can't really be mad at brandon because it's like being mad at a fucking jiff He has no personality It's this repeating loop of something that was stolen from some other thing Like people you don't even understand the underlying reference anymore Yeah, because it's friday and you ain't got no job. Yeah Fuck man and debo coming Um

Whatever we love brandon. He's our friend. Stop harassing him guys. No, please continue harassing See, that's the thing. I don't give a shit about harassing brandon because brandon doesn't care He's also a public figure too. Yeah, he's a public figure now and he's got plenty of money. So let's rob brandon, dude I think he does care though. He cares. Yeah, we should rob him. Oh, yeah, we should definitely. Oh, we should dude We should make him think it's somebody else too. You should set him up and rob him Hey brandon, uh, you got booked for this dj said about nine blocks away from the train station It's in an industrial area. It's like a warehouse kind of party. It's real underground

It's like very industrial warehouse. Don't bring your phone though because it'll fuck up the dj equipment That is how he djs. Yeah, he plugs his phone into an ox Uh, fuck. So what else is going on with you boys, huh? Um, nothing. I've been getting a little bit of that seasonal effective disorder. Yeah, you getting sad? Woo, getting sad boy I feel you sound my couch this weekend watched a good 14 hours of some quality NFL football entertainment I watched a lot of RuPaul's Drag Race, which is an incredible show. That's probably better than what I was doing It was four terrible games this weekend. Yeah, the wild card round was terrible. Um, um,

Although that you guys watch uh, the national college football. I watched that last night. Yeah, and I'm gonna give a fuck about You know what I found out last night the coach of Clemson is this guy dabo sweeney dabo sweeney Okay, so I looked up on his wikipedia page how the fuck his name got to be dabo When he was born he was a baby his older brother was 18 months and he was trying to say dat boy Really? So is there which is which is already not how the way you say those words. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So his name is So he was trying he was attempting to say something incorrect Yeah, and then made it a another level further

So his name is literally dat boy sweeney dat boy sweeney sweeney dat boy sweeney It's not even sweeney. It's sweeney. That's awesome. Yeah, it's sick. Yeah That's a great name. Also. Oh shit. What up, dude? Yeah, he's just a guy from the south, right? Where's dabo from some shithole Yeah, north florida or something. I don't know. It's a piece of shit. I want to be named dabo dabo. Yeah, that's a sick name Dabo sounds like a rapper's name. It sounds a lot like quavo Dabo and quavo could be friends Uh raindrop drop drop top. Um

Yeah, so you're getting sad. Did you guys watch that uh golden globes? I I didn't know I did not until come come town gets nominated. I'm not gonna watch. Okay. So, um, I've never watched any award show I don't understand the point of watching award shows. I've never watched the Oscars with my parents I've watched only when it's I've never sat down and put it on right. I don't go to like a you know I got bright bright. I got brought to one golden globes party ever. What is the golden globes? It's tv or is It's everything. It's the hollywood foreign press. I don't understand. I don't understand music, too Like the like why I would sit there and watch actors do the one thing that makes me fucking like completely hate actors Like the part of their personality that I'm trying to ignore when I'm watching like not the acting part

Not the acting part the thing that they're the absolute worst at which is fucking humility humility Why would you do that? Yeah, no, it's crazy. Yo, yeah, well, uh, we'll just see some titties and ball gowns Yes queen meryl street came horde at our president um The the peo t us the president elect Piotis the piotis. Well, it's yeah, it's like the latin spelling of Um, yeah, I don't give a shit. I don't even know what we're talking about. Do you guys care? I don't care

Meryl my grandma looks a little bit like meryl street. Oh, yeah Yo, did I tell you guys you know my grandma that fucks no my yeah my grandma that fucks and that just got a divorce Yeah, all right. This is what hold on. Just stop jumping around. What did meryl streep say? She said that, uh Trump Trump, uh Is like abuse that abuse that's handicapped guy And then she made some I didn't really even see it She she made some fucking comment about if if we we don't watch movies anymore than all that's left is going to be mma and football

Which is like, oh, which sounds all right. Yeah, I like those things are tight Yeah, I like movies. How funny would it be if someone rushed the stage and beat the shit out of Meryl street. He's an arm barter. Snap their arm. Yeah Fucking choke their out Fishhook their rip their eyelids off Um, yeah, I don't know man. It was like one of those everyone's going If we don't watch move shut the fuck up like that's what I mean It's I don't give a shit about the donald trump thing

But even that so for some reason movies are so much fucking better as if as if the entertainment industry isn't equally responsible for raping people and exploiting them and protecting Predators roman innocent Pulaski roman innocent free free. You know what roman. Yeah free my gear free my holocaust survivor um, but you know Absolutely, what's going to happen? Well, you know, they love Hillary Clinton in the fucking horrible mode. Oh, is that why she's already

I get it acting by being unlikable saying the wrong thing in public Well, no, I mean she's preparing for the role by being a detestable fucking piece of shit No, she's an incredible actor like Right. She is. She's like one of the best actors in the world. I wouldn't go that far. You don't think so. No She's incredible. You see bad, but I did you see doubt that she's she's dope dude. She always kills it I mean, I'm not gonna say I'm not saying she's a bad actress, but one of the most incredible actors I think she's one of the best actors in Hollywood. Yeah, first of all I don't like that you're calling her an actor and not an actress. Oh, I don't I don't like the underlying politics here

All right, fine. She's one of the best stewardesses in Hollywood. She's a nurse. The term is nurse Female anything is called a nurse Uh, yeah, but like, uh, you know, obviously that's lame of shit The you know the the movie that won apparently is this movie la la land. Yeah, it's a musical It seems horrible. Which is one of the says it's good. They make these movies. Did moonlight win anything? Yeah, I guess I don't want to see that, but I'm worried it's gonna be like I'm not gonna turn you gay No, it's not gonna turn me gay, but that I won't get anything out of it. It's really I was saying I kind of want to shoot a movie that's just two hours of like it

Like an interracial trans couple literally just fucking but you you know shoot it with like Well, I like DSLRs or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, make it look a lot of time on like yeah, like color correction and shit And uh, maybe there's like some subplot about them getting fired from a coffee shop But they live in bushwick. They're trans they fuck each other and then just make make sure it's just pornography And see if you can win any war I would like to do a movie where there's just moonlight is nothing like that moonlight's incredible Actually, I went into it not knowing what it was at all and it made it way better like Uh, I didn't I tried there was some movie. I tried to watch it. It was like

Like white girls or something. It wasn't white girls. I forget what the fucking was Yeah, but it's like yeah, just white chicks with the Wayans brothers. No, that's an excellent film I do think that movie that came out this movie that came out like uh this year where it's like It's white girls in the title something like that. Yeah, they just do drugs and it's nc 17 Yeah, they just do drugs and there's like a latino boyfriend And it's like i'm not annoyed with like the representation But it's like this is such a boring fucking movie. It's young people sitting around doing fucking drug that doesn't impress me I'm not like oh, oh, wow

Yeah, they had sex. Yeah Hey, I don't know. I don't know that sounds pretty cool to me. Yeah, I watched it. I watched the mtv network There's got to be a spy. There's got to be a bridge, you know the spies meet on That's what that's that's the recipe for a good movie. Yeah, you need a bridge in there a spy Maybe some disguises. Maybe a guy that's a master of disguises You know, oh, maybe maybe you've seen that movie. Yeah. Have you seen that movie? In theaters incredible. That is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my entire life. It is it is so fucking bad You know, you know, my man thought he was purged like poised for a comeback, right? You know, it'd be a good sequel is his master of races

Starring Dana carpet And he's an arian But he can play any race. He can play any race release a special. Yeah, he has straight white male age 60 There's no way it's good. Yeah, I saw the title And I'm like, you know, this is got to be the most tone deaf. Absolutely. There's no way I mean like I'm I'm like not even 30 and it's like I already feel out of touch, right, right, right? You know, I don't think that I could say anything that's like really culturally relevant or Get my finger on the pulse of of what people are thinking. No way

But you know, that's probably exactly what happened He just came up with a new hour and it probably was not that good or not that like in touch And he was like, well, I'm gonna lean into it and just call it straight So it looks like I'm aware that this is bad. Dude. Did you hear that story about fucking, uh, uh, What's his name? Uh, there's the ticket. What's what's his name? The actor John Lovitz. John Lovitz. My parents just saw Dana Carvey and John Lovitz this week. John Lovitz at fucking, uh, draft house Yeah, something when, uh, I think it was Milner's closer. Well, then Milner was Milner was saying he was like, yeah, we had to Uh, uh, he had to have a cop hold around to the back of the venue to take him out because he was worried people were going to beat him up

He was like saying that because he's a republican No, because he was on stage and he's like, what what the fuck are trannies back when I was young? It was just called being a fact Did I tell you to John Lovitz was saying this? People were like booing him. Yeah He's closer for a long time about the n-word, which is just a little bit by the way But he's like when you say the n-word everyone's thinking the words. All right, you're just saying the word Yeah, I know the Louis Vuitton. That's the Louis Vuitton. He's got he's closer for a long time was just a song

And it was like it was just like Bob my friend Bob Saget is gay is a faggot It was like that's like that was the big musical number He told yeah, my my folks saw saw him and Dana Carvey this weekend and my dad called me to To tell me the bit and I was like, I don't really think that's that funny Well, Norm I love anytime norm talks about him on a podcast about doing comedy just shits on him because it's like Lovitz was never a stand-up He's just like a guy who's like famous now and he's a comedian actually Yeah, like like I want that dude

I want to I want to just I want fame and then just to go around just being terrible at comedy I know yeah, it's the same thing I do now David Alan Greer, but with a lot more money I bet you David Alan Greer is at least interesting to watch I I I saw him at draft house Stevo and and uh, what's his name? Mankind? Tom green is a holy mick foley Yeah, it's Tom green a good stand-up. No, I don't know, but I don't know It's weird. He's good. I mean he's he's a funny. It's weird that like people comedy is so hot right now

Mike diesel uh one time that uh, Mike diesel Yeah, explain him on the podcast before this guy that booked a fucking Open mic. Oh, yeah, the only sure he booked. Yeah, he booked booked uh uh, wise acres in northern virginia, but he was like a pathological liar or whatever and uh So he would anytime any comic was brought up. He'd be like, yeah, we're gonna actually uh, we're gonna have him through the club You know, and it's like We see the headshots on the wall. We know who fucking comes through here. It's the drum comic the coach and then like Remember the magic 45 fat guys at all had their like fucking aorta explode at age 37

and they you know From coke and sandwiches. Yeah pretty much. Yeah from free comedy club bar food from from fried pickles and king kong nachos And all all that shit. Yeah case ideas with fried chicken in the chili burger Yeah But uh, yeah, so but one time comics. We're just talking about emerald agassi and this is like 10 years ago So it was when like emerald emerald show was real big or whatever. He was huge. Yeah, and bam was a big joke everywhere Yeah, yeah, yeah, so like two comics we're talking about emerald I think it was Andy Klein and somebody else and fucking diesel comes up and he's like, uh

Yeah, we're actually gonna have him through the club Because he thought they were just talking about a comic so he decided to just lie about it They were like to do what and he's like, you know Oh, yeah, I'm here Do what mike just cook on the stage. Dude the worst part is I could see Emerald would could get booked to headline a club so much better than a good comic. Yeah, no credits Like if emerald was like I want to do comedy. Oh, yeah, every club would headline That's the thing that sucks about stand-up is that like audiences are fucking retarded

No, like the people they and I don't mean maybe in their personal lives They aren't but something happens to people when they enter a comedy club that they just become abject fucking retard They get drunk. They want something to just go fucking do but it's also shocking how many people Don't even like comedy in their personality go to comedy clubs. Yeah, all they want is to be shit on all they want Is hack shit how fucking funny is it that like the thing that we've chosen to pursue Is on par with like let's just go bowling tonight Right, right, right, right, right that it would be like if you were really trying to be the best guy It's setting up the pins. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even being is not even bowling. It's working at a bowling alley

It's working at a bowling out is is what being a comedian is Well, the other thing is but but I saw a guy I saw a guy crush in Detroit and I forget who he was I was trashed. I was really fucking drunk and I was there for a festival And there was a guy that just went on stage and as far as my memory goes He was the red shirt guy. He dressed in all red and he handed out red shirts and he just played music And it was like this isn't even calm. He's not even attempting comedy And people loved it Because it was just a guy handing out shirts. Jesus. It didn't say anything all free shirts. I don't think yeah

I fuck with free shirts Yeah, no, it sucks comedy sucks it but well, how many people do you stand a bump into? Do they go to even good clubs and like this is my first comedy show and it's like what? How is this your first come but I guess there's no real comedy fans anymore because the people that are Were comedy fans are now just doing comedy. They do mics. They also edit, you know, I mean, that's not true, dude Podcasts people at work love listening to fuck yeah people love podcasts. That's not stand-up comedy I'm talking about some people it is some people. That's what comedy is. Yeah, but it's fucking not dude. I mean this is not This isn't edited or honed no show is I mean maybe there are show podcasts out there where they write all this stuff in advance

You know, and that's not stand-up comedy. No same. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, well another thing is like going back to the love it's thing is like there are a ton of comedic actors Who do comedy shit and then try to go into stand-up that because stand-up is hot right now So it's not that it's so what they do is they work like the meltdown room in la they work like The kind of alti rooms where everyone knows them from, you know, children's hospital or whatever And then they they crush and then they get their 30 minutes Which sucks because they've been like because people give them laughs just because they were from the tv, right? And then they sell it to netflix and make a ton of money, you know

You know that that that's become like a fucking business model for a ton of like comedic actors Who fucking suck who think that stand-up isn't a skill We're gonna make this podcast number one and then we're gonna produce the world's shittiest web series And we're gonna get jaded and then we're gonna sell this sell it and then we're gonna be, you know, terrible like everybody else I can't wait, dude. I would love to remember when what's his name cordry was hosting was hosting a bensin ball Jamel was on that show. I wasn't like that show dude. It was like insane. It was he was doing brodie brodie stevens did my show And he's good. Yeah, he's he's hilarious. Yeah, I'm not gonna get into the habit of shitting on people specifically

Especially guys that I think are funny. Yeah. He's super funny, you know Adam Friedland said it right here right now. It's crazy. Rob cordry is a terrible comedian. No, I Both we all love we're both looking at you. Like, why would you fucking say that adam? Please? I was holding up a sign said adam. Please stop. I told the story about I told the story about how emerald agassi shouldn't do comedy Which is fair. I didn't say he was a bad cook I didn't come on the podcast and publicly announced and Rob cordry is a fucking bad. Well, let me go through my list right now bad Comments, okay? Um, we see K Louie CK Jerry Seinfeld

You got your mcdonald norm mcdonald I haven't read his book. I have it. I have it. You can have it. I want to read a book I think would be cool to know I still haven't finished norm I've never seen a book. I've never you know looked at a book so all the listeners norm's book is Is incredible and you should read it. It's like a work of fuck. He's he's like a great novel I was going to do like a sky service like bookshelf with like four books on it And I always wanted to do like a sketch where it's like a girl bringing like a guy back to her apartment And there's like a bookshelf with like maybe seven books on it and he just looks at it and he's like

Have you read all these books? It's just it's just the dictionary. Yeah, I wow that's amazing Wow Wow, wow, you read all these you read all these books. Wow. Wow. Maybe I will try and kill myself Who made him try to kill himself? I think he did it He just did no it was Andy dick got him on no, no, no, no, no, no, Andy Andy got fill harman's wife on coke. Yeah, really? Yeah, apparently. Yeah, that's why she cut it. Uh, she killed him That's why she killed him. So we should kill Andy dick. It's Andy dick's fault. Well, you do a fatwag against Andy dick

No, we should get Andy dick's husband on cocaine So they um Have a fuck brain. Oh, no, no, Steve Cougan. Didn't people say Steve Cougan got uh owned wilson on smack And that's why he was about to kill himself. Yeah, he was like addicted to harrowing coogs. Yeah I love Steve Cougan. Cougan's great. Oh, man. I saw I saw an advertisement because Ricky Gervais stole his life Yeah, you're Ricky Gervais literally stole his so much better than we stole his world I saw I saw an advertisement for the aarp on like network television Where it's like, uh, you know, it's like a woman and she's like scrolling through the aarp website and her friend

Who's a man is like, what are you doing on aarp? She's like, well, you qualify for yourself too. Mr. 50 You know, and he's like, I don't know about that You know, he's apprehensive about admitting that he's old enough to join the aarp But none of those people will ever be able to retire. Right. So and then she's like, yeah Well, check out all you're missing out on and then she's just like looking at pictures of Ted Nugent It's like one of the benefits of being in the aarp is that you get to see pictures you get Ted Nugent's flicker account Ted Nugent with cat scratch fever. Yeah Which is sexual and underage Polynesian woman. All right. Well, we're out of time

Great. So I just want to say I love you Rob. Yeah, no, you're gonna you you're gonna fuck the fuck me eating crow Once Rob Cordray here. Did you know that he asked us to sir? He asked us to reboot Children's Hospital. I like you're out. I'm a fan dude. You're out. Wait. He just wanted to come boys Yeah, but he said as long as no one trashed me on the podcast. That was just one. We're fucked. That was just one condition Yeah, I'm out with I'm out with the ants, which by the way is not a big deal I think ants gonna do the show. Did you talk to him? Yeah, I talked to him about it. He's fine I saw the clip from his podcast. He wasn't really that mad. Yeah. Well, because it's like again Uh, he was wrong about the fucking thing. I'm like, I feel like I'm entitled to just say yeah, he's fucking wrong about it

Also, you notice no one put in the fucking part where we sucked him off and said he was the funniest dude Yeah, they edited out the fact that we were all huge fans. He's like shit head fucking, you know No, yeah, they literally tattletales. They're like, oh, that's a bitch move Time to bust out adobe audition. Yeah And make my little tattletale clip. Maybe it'll retweet me Exactly. Fucking losers. Right So yeah, it's just fucking guys that tattletale to mic francesca all day long The dog is a faggot mic

So if you were if you were questioning strong opinions at the jets Yeah, no, there's no bad blood between come town and and ant Um, and if there was we would just fucking talk about it. It's like not I don't understand why people think that that would be like an issue to fucking well. We said there is this is the podcast You just heard adam say out loud. He hates rob. Yeah, the most powerful man in show business Probably like if you look at adam's career track, he's going to be a robcordery type And so he's going after, you know, the one guy that can help him. So we're yeah, we're not afraid to confront anybody Yeah, that's on the show

And this is the show where again where adam says fuck rob cordy Fuck louis he can adam hates all these people and he doesn't give a shit about it Before the show, we were talking about how tigna taros fraud. I don't think she had cancer. Yeah, that's true And I think she's heterosexual I think she's trying to get that lgbt money And that cancer money. I want to get a tattoo that says lgbt, but that like every letter has the two stripe dollar sign Like a symbol through lgbt. Let's get big titties. Yeah, you just don't know that it's oh my god That'd be such a good like ocean city marlin boardwalk t-shirt. Let's give love giant big titties

You're like, whoa Maybe you have no idea. It's I love it. I love it I just think it'd be funny if the t and lgbt stuff are trains not trans You know and on that note everyone Wow, but seriously fuck rob cordy Um, uh, so come to our live show Oh, yeah in a couple weeks. It's actually coming up. I always forget that it's coming up the 23rd. I think I'll look it up right now Um, yes, we got a live show the fourth monday of this month that come on everybody. We're also we're at carolines next month

And hopefully we'll talk after this, but I want we should we hopefully come out and see some people In your cities So we're doing North texas What when's the fucking live show dude the live i'm finding where's my calendar app? Um, it's february 21st. I'm talking about no, no, that's the carolines one. We also do january 23rd I come on everybody, uh, which is in about two weeks. We uh, yeah week and a half two weeks cool Um

Yeah, and then otherwise we'll be we'll be around also add me on playstation. I don't have any friends on playstation Yeah, I gotta buy playstation and um Yeah, do patreon too if you don't already I was I was asking the other day is is um xbox live more racist than psn Uh, yeah Because it's free, right? It's free. Yeah, because it's free. No, it's not. They're neither of them are free Oh, I thought xbox was free. No, no

In fact, that that's the fact that it costs money makes it more racist because it means that minorities don't have access to it Oh, yeah, it's like a poll tax. Yeah Dude, I like honestly you go and play like you play there's so funny I remember like like 10 years ago whenever like you said like online games with like headsets and shit You would play a game for a while and then the price would drop and as soon as the price dropped You would like, you know, you'd be playing when it came out and it'd be like, yeah, uh, like we got to go over here Like capture this objective. This guy's a faggot or you know, yeah Like, uh, fuck this guy, you know, this guy's fucking camping or whatever and then the price would drop and it's like

Hey, you'll get Like Immediately and then also guys from like texas wiggers would show up. Yeah, which is always a weird like yeah, me and my partners Paul wall You know me and my partner Because it's also the gay term for boyfriend. Yeah, me and my life partners Yeah, my life partners We're dedicating ourselves to train each other

Me and my partner. Yeah Um, all right. Well, yeah, so yeah, I guess those are the shows coming up. I will we'll figure it out I do want to have an on because the an is Is uh great to you know, fucking chat with so funny. Um, and then that's the the the one the one hesitation is like I think that's the last Big guess that we could do. I've kind of exhausted my well, there's no one guy man. We gotta talk about it Uh, vampire weekend Oh, right. Well, he hasn't agreed to do the show. Well, he agreed to do the show fans vampire weekend. Uh, Ezra

Klein from box.com Ezra Koenig Said that he wanted to do come town. So you whatever. Yeah. Oh, and he probably will never do it and ashton kutcher also In dany masters. What a fucking asshole name by the way. You hear it all the time So you stop thinking about it, but jesus that and mccauley colkin What a fucking shitty name. Yeah, ashton's worse than mccauley mccauley colkin is is like the best child actor. It's like kutcher is busier than colkin I think kutcher's a little i'll give you mccauley, but then kutcher is worse than how about this, uh, mccauley kutcher

Oh That sounds like an ad agency it does. Yeah, all right. Well, that's the episode, you know, hey if you don't like the show Uh Yeah, that's fair. Suck our fat cock. No, I understand. You know, I'm I say suck dick I'm one of the guys that hate the show. Yeah, I hate it too, but fuck you. You don't show me disrespect I'm one of the guys that thinks the show is not racist enough now. Yeah, I just want to say to all those guys that black lives matter Yeah, and if you do black lives matter if you're uh, I love the racist. I don't point it out

There was one guy that was like It was so funny He was like, oh these stores ever recovered dude. There was some girl that was raped and fed to alligators It's like yeah in florida dude. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, these dudes that are like so fucking paranoid about a genocide against white people One of them was like replying to nyx tweets and he's like, dude, they raped a girl and they fed her to guideers That's like one of his that's his evidence. The black lives matters is feeding girls to gators Definitely not bitch movies to live in fear about the knockout game. Yeah, that's the way to prove You're not a fucking coward is that that's the thing has been all your time worried about the fucking knockout game and being fed to alligators

They're fucking snowflakes They're they're they're uh, you heard racist Adam will play you snowflakes. I mean snowflakes are white dude Dude, it's better for whatever Snowflakes are white. They're cold. You know, they're icy. They're beautiful. I don't understand what the problem is All right, what the fuck are we talking about? We've been ending this fucking episode for 20 minutes It's literally been two minutes. Really? Yeah All right delirious, dude. I'm gonna thank you as always for all the sweeties that listen to the show Yeah, yeah, holler at us. You guys are sweeties seriously. I'm single and I'm ready to mingle

Yeah, thanks for listening to show, you know, steal it do whatever tell people Even if you do hate it, you want even if you do hate it and you want, you know To say hey, look at these fucking assholes who we don't like, you know, to be honest with you like, you know I I say all that shit, but like That's what fans are. They're people that fucking like, you know, they listen every show and like, oh, you're a fucking faggot or whatever Yeah, so I don't really mind it. I mean, it's fucking. I'm I like it's kind of cool. Yeah, right exactly It's the same thing. That's all fans are sitting in the stands saying, you know, I'm a faggot. I I appreciate it I threw three interceptions this time

I'm the Eli man. We all agree of the podcast. Yeah, that's what we can all build on People that hate this show. Let's build the community. Let's build the community. I'm faggot Adam being gay. That's the thing, man We need we need unity in this country. And I think the ticket is specific anti-semitism Directed at actual individuals Not this sort of generic nebulous. There's no plot. It's divisive. You pick a Jew and you go after one It's me together. I'm the problem. You know how you know if if Hitler picked one Jew that he really didn't like

Would people have thought he was such a bad guy? They would have given him that one guy It was the one guy you could have taken over the world and wouldn't have been a problem. That's true. Yeah He should have only killed one Jew. Well, uh Uh Sure, I don't think there's a way to fix any of what I just said. So No, no, we're fucked. Yeah. All right, you guys are fun. Thanks