The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Alec Baldwin Talks 30 Rock, Fatherhood, Trial

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

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will have one name who took the money they made, and it might not have been hundreds of millions of dollars in fees like Leo or whatever. Decaprey. But there's people I know who made less money in fees, but they invested that money. What are fees? What are you mean?

Your fee. Oh, like, sad. Oh, like, you're paid on a movie. Yeah. You make a movie and you get paid. You know, you're doing Tom Cruise. You get $50 million. You just say the words, right? And you get him $50 billion?

No, no, no. He does a lot more than that for $50 million. Do you have Tom Cruise? Do I have Tom's number? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have his sister's number. You have his sister? But if I call her.

Who's she? Who's she? Yeah. She's Tom's sister. Wow. Oh, white, Adam Friedland Show Oh, my God Adam Friedland Show

I'm right to me. Hello and welcome back to the Adam Friedland show. I'm Adam Friedland. Guys, big episode today, but before we start, I'm going back on the road. Emerald City, Comedy Club, Seattle, Washington, January 23rd. Oh, fuck. I did the dates wrong.

Seattle, Washington, January 22nd, 23rd, 24th. I'm with Caleb Pitts, the man that is, he's sick today. I'm doing five shows. Get tickets at emerald citycomedy.com. There's also a link in the description of this video. I'd like to thank, first off, as always, our members for supporting us here on YouTube.com. You make this show possible. Members get access to all of our episodes early, and if you join at the second or third,

third tiers, you get your name in the credits of this fine program. If you'd like to join the Freedland Family Foundation, you could do so by clicking the join button here on YouTube or by clicking the link in the description below. And you could also support us on Patreon if you'd prefer. The link for that is also in the description. And by Freedland Family Foundation, I don't mean anyone from my family. You know who you are. Guys, merch is also available.

The Adamfreetland.com. Check it out. We have new shirt that's a keep calm. list of the Adam Friedland show, it's going to be, it's do we? That's funny that Caleb put it in there. I'm doing another one of those, Caleb writes it and I react for the first time. It's a fun game that the people

love. My guess this week is the legendary American actor, Alec Baldwin. Mr. Baldwin is known for many roles over the years, but perhaps his most iconic is his turn as Blake, the chastising associate sent to motivate the poor salesman of, oh, was that his name

Blake? Sent to motivate the salesman of Glenn Gary Clodross. His name was Blake. Did you know that? He didn't seem like a Blake. He was a made-up character. They just gave him the last name, but I don't think it would call him. They didn't put it in the play.

There's no like dialogue. It's just like a block of text and then he leaves the... His name, he's known for his character, put that coffee down. The chastising associate, motivated, whatever. It really is a career-defining performance. One of the film's greatest monologues, the spark of drama that sets everything into motion. But there's too much.

too much cussing. So here's what I would have said if I was him. This is good, Caleb. I hope you're feeling better, my friend. Hey, you piece of crap, put down your coffee and let's get to work. Enough lollycacking around here. We really need to work, and we need to make some sales. So let's get this thing started, and let's have a great week at work.

Thanks, everyone for your time. And if you need anything, I'm always available. really appreciate everyone's time and I really I can really see you you guys are trying your hardest okay so let's go do this guys please enjoy please enjoy my interview with Alec Baldwin guys this is a great one I'm very proud of it ladies and gentlemen American institution Alec Baldwin I can't believe it thanks I can't believe it folks I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel truly, I've, we had a pre-interview yesterday on, this is where it all ends, my hot streak.

I'm outclassed and outgunned right now. You, you, within five seconds, I'm like, it's really him. That's so bizarre. You know, when you walk around, and you're just kind of allergic to that, you know, like, so people will see you on the street and say things to you. Oh, you do what you're doing. You go, you say, calm down, you know what I mean? I'm like, no, but you got

out of the phone, you're like, Freedland. You're like, yeah, Friedland. Tell me something, are you as dry in real life as you are on the television screen? I'm like, it's him. I feel like Liz Lemon right now. What an honor. It's charming. Thank you so much. I'm a massive fan.

I think I've researched too much. I mean, you missed the tinful hat, like pins on a cork board section, but we were going quite deep. And the corruption goes all the way to the top. you I mean this this this whole thing stinks Obama the Illuminati with that pyramid with the eyeball you you're I mean you look carefully at the dollar

bill useful useful fancy I would say no nobody it has been fun kind of to just revisit your work and just remind myself like kind of anecdotally the moments of my life that I interacted with it and you know and just kind of the how old do you I mean if I may I'm 38 years old no okay yeah yeah yeah you look younger How familiar are you with this show right now? I watch your show because the people from my heart said, it's always that thing with like, well, your podcast would do better if you did other podcasts.

This is a talk show, but yeah. A talk show. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's a real talk. Your podcasts would do better if you did more talk shows. Yeah, thank you. So they said to me that you were hot and your show was hot. Thanks.

And your middle name is hot. One of the hottest guys said that to me. He said, well, yeah. And then, so they said to me, come on. Normally, I don't do a lot of that because I have kids now. I have a lot of kids, so I'm kind of busy with other things. When I leave here, I've got to go pick up my kids from school. Oh, you have like seven of them.

I have eight children. Eight now? Well, my oldest is, well, my oldest, yeah. Eight now. Well, you lift up a sofa cushion. There's always a baby under there every, and on my house. Where do you get the energy? I don't, actually, because I'm half dead from exhaustion.

I have my older daughter, Ireland. She's married, kind of, and has a baby. and I have a baby and a grandchild that are the same age. Really? Yeah. That's some freaky shit right there. It's a little, whew. Yeah, something.

Are you a weed guy? No, no, but I've taken some gummies from my, I have that horrible insomnia. Do you sleep while? I took a half of a five milligram and watched Fantastic Mr. Fox with my girlfriend, and I kept saying, this is so well done. My God, this documentary is amazing. I've really enjoyed learning about your life when you speak about film. and the theatrical arts, you kind of seem like you're in love.

With parts of it, yeah. From what I understand, like from a very young age, you grew up in Long Island, Irish Catholic family? Yes. Your dad let you stay up late and watch movies. Well, he would fall asleep. He would come home. He always had some other, he was a schoolteacher.

He always had some evening functions he did and jobs he did to supplement his income. And then he'd come home, and my mother was like out of it. So I'd say, who was going to do? to let dad in. Like he didn't have a key to his own house, you know what I mean? So I would wait for him to come and he could go in the kitchen and make a sandwich and come in and have something to drink and he'd watch and he'd look at the New York Times used to have those really pithy little reviews of movies. So it would say, you know, ball of fire. You know, Barbara Stanberg tells Gary Cooper where he can go. And my father would go, wow, ball of fire, that's a great

movie. I said, let's watch it. He'd say, no, no, you've got to go to bed. I go, let's watch 10 minutes. This is my game. And within 10 minutes, he was asleep, and I would watch the whole movie until 1 o'clock in the morning. And what were those movies that you were watching? Are you a big movie freak? Yeah. I watched it. I watched it. I watched it a caro with Franchotone. Okay. Yeah.

How Queen was My Valley? The best. Ball of Fire. What is Ball of Fire? Ball of Fire. Barley's a comedy with Barbara Stanwick, who I love. The first movie I ever watched on TV all the way through till one in the morning was a sorry, wrong number with Barbara Stamwick and Bert Lancaster. Great thriller.

One of the great thrillers of all time. Yeah. But, yeah. When I've watched interviews with you, you're like an incredible mimic. And something I've connected in my mind was, like, I imagine like a kid watching TV. Yes. And then you kind of doing the voices. Did you feel like you were transcending Long Island?

Well, it would be there watching a movie, and someone would come on. I remember watching movies, for those of you here who are. a little older when you watch movies back then I mean you had like an Ayurvedic sense of focus you know you were live right well you yeah well you'd watch the movie and there was no button to press was no VHS no VCR no rewind you watch and you got locked in you like watched and then heard everything yeah so when James Cagney you would talk about impersonating people he would say lines you'd walk away an hour there'd be the guy's in the trunk the guy says you know open

up open up I can't breathe I need some air and Cagney's like air you want air I'll give you air boom boom boom he shoots the trunk of the car now I'd walk around I was like 10 years old I'd walk around the whole day going air you want air I'll give you air and you just who these lived in your mind all the time I was the Austin Powers kid you were yeah it was pretty cool everyone at school thought it was cool yeah you like Mike Myers have you followed his whole career yeah I mean that's kind of my age well beyond Austin Powers yeah the love guru yeah Maybe. We love him.

Shrek remakes and Shrek sequels, more Shrek. Oh, really? I thought that was the real Shrek. There was Mike Myers? Mike Myers does, yeah, but those Austin Powers movies. What was the Scottish guy's name? The Scottish... Fat Bastard. Thank you. He did all that.

Yeah, fat bastard. This is our age, though, but it was pretty cool. Do you remember how funny that was for us? When he had to pee for a long time after he got un-frozen? That was a real moment. I remember take my parents to that. My mom was like, what, like, I don't want to go see the second one. Like, what?

I was like, she was like, it's really a disgusting. My kids love them. They love Zoolander. Yeah, yeah. They love anything that's nasty. Stiller is really funny. I mean, I like, growing up, our generation is Borat, I feel like. You do, my kids love Borat.

Yeah, yeah. They do. They want to see Borat. They want to see, you know, they want to see the guy's ass on his face, the guy naked. They love that. Oh, the fat guy, yeah, yeah. The fat guy puts his ass on his face. I'm sorry, I apologize to you.

I love, I love, you know what I love, I love Sasha Baron Cohen and Sweeney Todd when they do the duel, the shaving duel, where they both shave the guy? I haven't seen it, but I saw him. Oh, my God. He did in Lay Mids. Sasha Barenkoan does Lay Mids? He does a Master of the House, doesn't he?

He does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've never seen that. You've never seen Lay Mids. Is it in some anniversary issue of the show? I think it was a movie with, yeah, Anne Hathaway. She plays like a pros to, they cut her hair. He does Master of the House and the Lay Mids?

I didn't know that. Is it bullshit? if it's no talking, if it's only songs. That's what me and my girlfriend had an argument about. I was like, keep watching. She's like, they're not doing sentences. It's just songs. Well, you kind of think about, like, people who wrote opera,

how they try to keep it interesting. You know, you're not going to say, they're going to go, I am hungry. I want to call the food store to deliver my food. Yeah, it's kind of bullshit. Well, everything that's kind of quotidian. That guy, Sondheim does that, right? It's like, then I went to the,

it's kind of bullshit. It doesn't have to be a song. He does it slightly better than that. Just fucking say it, dude. But I'm saying the idea of an opera, which I attend the opera hit now, and everything has sung, and I left to breathe the screen because I don't speak German or whatever. And you wonder how they have to cut out.

Wagner has a lot of good thoughts. Wagner's got some good lines. He's got some great. He's got some good lines. Great jokes. Honestly, if I was a German non-Jew person, and they were playing that, it's very emotional. You could sell a fascism with that music.

I do get a little nervous when I put on Wagner. No, it's fine. You can listen. It's okay. I'll give you pass. Yeah, I give you the pat. It's so beautiful. Tanhauser, you're a big classical music guy.

Justin Eni Solder is my favorite. That's your thing, classical music. Yeah, I'm a big nut. I was in L.A. and I was driving around. I was, you know, living out there for a while. Going back and forth for 30 years, I had a home in both places. And I'm in the car, and I put on the local classical station, and I just, I never turned back. All I listened to was pretty much classical.

Do you remember what was playing? Yes. Wagner. No. Richard Wagner. Richard Wagner. I had him on the show recently. I was like...

No. How was that? I'm afraid to release it. I don't think I've ever met a racist. I think that was the first racist I've met. Was she a racist on your show? Oh my God. But I didn't know how to interact with it because it was kind of a woman was yelling at me and I really hate when that happened.

She was yelling at you? Yeah, yeah. I was trying to just, I was trying to, I think I said to her, I'm nice. Stop yelling at her. Whenever women yell, just say the same thing, which is my line always, which is... They're so mad. Well, a friend of my friend of my. taught me this, which was women yell at you, no offense.

But when women yell at you, just say the line, I don't understand. Really? And they just keep saying, and then they leave. They'll say something to you, and you go, I don't understand. They don't like it when you ask questions about what they mean. They really don't like that either. Just say, I don't understand.

It'll be gone in five minutes. They don't like it. I bet you, like, um, Zoron's girl is probably mad at him for working too long. Because he was, because he was campaigning too much. Yes. You know, I think it's... Are you excited about that?

Are you excited about where the city's head of the direction we're headed? Oh, I think he's pretty smart guy. Yeah, I met him. I met him. Have you been done the show? He's straight... No, not yet, but he...

It was really... You know, in 92, like, my parents were really excited about Clinton, right? And they had, like, don't stop thinking about tomorrow the Fleetwood Mac. And then it kind of dawned me that that was the first boomer, right? That was, like, in national politics.

And when I met him, we just both, like, soccer, and hip-hop and we're just the lamest guys. You and me, me and Zoduan, yeah, we were just talking about... Where'd you meet him? I met him in Queens. You mean Mandani? And it's kind of representation, it's kind of Wakanda for me. It's like, we're both like, you know what I mean?

Like, he's a millennial. He's like a, he was uniquely normal. Well, the strange introduction I ever had was I was at the Kennedy Center Honors years ago. I used to go pretty frequently and did a couple shows. For Wagner. For Richard. For Wagner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wagner's daughter got the award.

Oh, yeah? She accepted. The thing was that we were there, and my friend who passed away, she was a big lobbyist in Washington, Liz Robbins, and we're going through the luncheon. There's like four different events that you can go to if you're there for the weekend. So I go down there for the whole weekend that I'm there at this event, and you're saying hi to Richard Gephardt, you're saying hi to this person,

and you're saying hi to this congressman or whatever, and this woman senator or whatever. And as I don't see over here, and Liz goes, and you know Secretary Kissinger, and I went, Oh, wow. And Henry Kissinger's in front of me. Hands up, right prior to that, like within a day or two, his mother had died.

Oh, no. His mother lived up in Harlem in, like, a little Jewish section of Uptown, and she was a big community activist. She was very, very well loved there. And I turned to him, and I'm going, here's this guy who is essentially, you know, a war criminal. Yeah, he caught a lot of us.

And he's in front of me, and I go, I'm sorry about your mother and he leans in and hugs me he goes that's really nice of you and he was so little he was like a ball so thank you so much for seeing and I thought to myself I'm comforting Henry Kissinger

was he like 5'2 but like rotund he was a little bit of a firehound he got a ton of pussy you know that he got more ass that's like a Nixon with the tapes do you like the Nixon tapes do I like the Nixon tapes? Do I like the Nixon tapes? I mean

like NFL's Nixon I think the writing I think okay for the dramatic arts perspective I think this the writing on Nixon was the best writing in terms of like this guy's just a fucking Oliver Stone's movie no I'm just saying no the guy Richard Nixon like the best president is Lincoln right he's like the best he was he did a good job right he saved the union brother come on stop but anyway Nixon was just this loser and every time he showed up anywhere they'd be like oh it's Richard Nixon you know the thing about Pat right What about her?

When he was trying to like... She smelled. Date her. She was like, no, you're fucking Richard Nixon. I'm not going to date you. And he drove them on the days. And then he would chaperone her for like 18 months. But you see Oliver's movie about Nixon.

Right. With the other guy with it. You see Oliver's movie about Nixon. And what's in it? Mao says that to Kissinger. The interpreter says the chairman wants to know how a fat man like you can have so many girlfriends. Well, he's paying for it, probably, though? No.

How many girls? How many girls you got in your lifetime? Probably over 1,000. How many women know, that's very. You're a chamberlain status. No. I was busy, man. You're a busy man.

I look at the one. I got 20 minutes. No, you don't have 20 minutes. No, no, no. I'd say it to the woman. Oh, the woman. You got more time, right? Your kid could walk home.

In your memoir, you talk about when you're a young actor living in New York City, you talk about that you were into prank calls. You and your roommate, right? My roommate, well, I used to do this with my ex-girlfriend. Did you? Driving in from Long Island on Sunday nights, we'd be driving on the LIE late at night, and we would leave messages on like corporate voicemails. So you'd call up and it would say, to reach human resources, press 26, and then you'd press 26, and the voice would come on and go, hi, it's Steve Regan, and leave you match me up the tone.

And I get on and I go, oh my God, Steve last night was so magical. You were, I mean, you left your watch on the night table. Whatever the gag was. Could you prank call my father? Here's my pitch. You prank call him as Donald Trump, and you say your son is in big trouble with the administration. I should be so, well, you don't want to.

I can't do these voices. You get a Trump on TV. But you say your Trump and the right of the way your father will know what stupid. No, my dad won't know. He's going to think that I'm going to get, Mo, and it's going to be so funny. But I think I should say, love, like somebody should say, not you, of course, somebody should say a whole thing for Director Patel. Oh, yeah, Cash Patel.

And then I come on, I'm Cache. He wouldn't really know who that was. My dad would have some words for Trump. I think it's going to be funny. But let's finish the interview first. You want to do it now? Yeah, it'd be hilarious. This is going to be a moment of, like, talk for him.

It's more provisatory than I thought. I don't have a phone on me. I mean, well, yeah, say this is Donald Trump. I have your son. No, I'm not going to say on Donald Trump. No, just say it's going to be, because my dad hates... Say I'm the president? Yeah.

He hates Trump. But if I say I'm Trump, that's going to give it away that it's bullshit. What's his name? Yeah, Max Friedland. He's a great guy. Max Vaughner is your father. No, he's not, come on, dude. We're on the other side.

We're in the hiding side. Okay. Hold the line for the President of the United States, please. Okay, one moment. Dad, I think it's for you. Hello? Hold the line for the President of the United States, please. Hold the line for the President of the United States.

Is this Max? Max, are you there? Max, I've got a file in front of me that says you're in Vegas. Is that where you are, Max, Vegas? Who am I talking to? You're talking to the President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. And I want you to know your son. I know who you are. Your son is a mess.

Okay, we've got to get him out of the country. We're sending him down to Uruguay. We're going to teach communications at the Iroguyen University of Communications, okay? but I want you to talk to him really quickly he's only going to be in the country for another three or four hours here he is Max thank you hold on say hello to your father Max I'm in big trouble with the

administration I know he's a Brit he's a Brit he's a Brit he's South Africa yeah we're Cape Tonia juice Dad I'll talk to you later you've been South African they got it right the first time okay you're a real idiot

you've been pricked by the best who he's still the best Donald Trump Oh, you hear that? You're coming for that James. Peric victory. Yeah, okay.

I love you, Dad. I love you, Dad. Dad, you say I love you back. Why do you say I love you back? I said, I love you back. Oh, okay, thanks a lot. Why you're being so nice, he's really turned so nice recently. Yes?

I can't handle it. Was he not like that when you were young? No, well, it's not... Are you bitter and cynical because of the way he treated you? No, no, no. He's my best friend. He made me tough. Because we'd sit there arguing, but it would always be like a compliment,

but it would be a criticism. The other day he's like, just be yourself. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Myself. How many kids in your family? Two. I'm the older one. And who's the other one?

Zoe. We have the same birthday. That's the one that answered the phone. Yeah, yeah. She was in on it. She was in on it. Can I ask you if I could take your phone and could I do a prank call on Robert De Niro perhaps? That's good, Hillary.

Can you get him? Hillary? I don't have anybody here would have the patience. What about President Clinton? He's a real magic guy. Hillary Clinton? I mean, Chelsea Clinton? No, no.

If I gave your number and you prank called Chelsea Clinton, I will be out of this country in about a hour. I'm telling you, I'm not going to mess anything over you. Robert De Niro's going to think this is really funny. De Niro's a very no-nonsense guy. He's very busy during the day. Is he? He's like that in real life.

He's open in restaurants and hotels around the world. He's a very successful. No boo. No boo. Is that annoying? What? No boo? No, you guys like dress up in costumes and pretend to be other people and then he's like

a serious businessman? He's loaded with money, yeah. Yeah, but it's like you don't have to. You're fucking Robert Jr. But while you make, I mean, I know people who are like, maybe you've heard of them. Obama? Wagner. Wagner.

Who haven't, who took the money they made. And it might not have been hundreds of millions of dollars in fees like Leo or or, you know, whatever. Leo, who? DeCAPrius. But these guys make a lot of money in fees, but there's people I know who made less money in fees, but they invest in that money.

What are the fees? What are you mean fees? Your fee. Oh, like SAG, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Oh, fees, like you're paying on a movie. Yeah.

You make a movie and you get paid. You know, you do Tom Cruise. You get $50 million to do. It's the coolest job. Right. But what I'm saying is that the... You just say the words, right? And you get them $50 billion?

No, no, no. He does a lot. more than that for $50 million. Do you have, do you have Tom Cruise? I'm just a huge thing. Do you have Tom's number? Yeah, yeah, I have a sister's number. You have a sister?

But if I call her... Who's she? Who's she? Yeah. She's Tom's sister. Wow. She runs a lot of his business business. He's one of my favorites.

But I'm saying is that those people, I know people who've taken less money, they haven't made as much money, but they invested it so wisely. They're rich beyond belief. You wouldn't even... If I told you some of them, you'd die. And De Niro is the same way.

He invests in businesses. Who has the most money? Was the most money of anybody I've ever met in my life? I have to say one of the Beatles would probably be the most wealthy people. Macca? Can we call Macca? No. No. Why? You had a falling out with Macca? No. No, no. I just, I mean, for me, I kind of went underground for a while when I had my issue in New Mexico that I had to deal with. I mean, Macca, he wrote some of the best, well, we're friends. I mean, we have a lot of music guys here.

This guy over here, Jake is really close to them. You play, are you? Yeah, yeah. He jams? Where is he? Me and Macon? Yeah, yeah. Your buddies with him?

Big time. Oh, are you being serious? I mean, he is, he's the best. He's like my favorite. Him and Bob Dylan. You missed all that because you were listening to, like, violins and stuff. I was listening to Strauss.

You're listening to Strauss. Strauss. Now, do you know, do you like Bob Dylan? Oh, yeah, he's the best one. What do you love about Bob Dylan? I go in and out on Bob Dylan. Oh, I mean, it's every era for different periods of your life. I went heavy Christian after a terrible breakup.

And I was like, I did the, then I realized that, yeah, yeah, I was like, it's so nice. What brand of Christianity did you tell you? The Bob Dylan Christian, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like a, you were a Bob Dylan Christian. Well, he had three Christian albums. And I was like, what, maybe God loves you, right? And I was like, we didn't have that for Jews. Our God is like Trump.

He's like, if you don't respect me, I'm going to smite you. If you make a golden calf, like I'm going to kill all of you. He's, like, very insecure. He's like a bitch. But like, it's not really. None of this is real, but like, I'm like, oh, it's so nice that the Jesus thing that God loves you so much to let your son die, but then I snapped out of it. How would you define Judaism? What's your definition? What makes you Jewish?

What's the definite? I have a friend of mine that gave me a great definition. You do the thing. You say that you do the thing and it's boring, but like your grandpa was bored too, so you feel like you're not going to... It's your turn to be bored. Yeah, it's kind of nice. It's gibberish. It's like spells.

I don't know. But it's like you don't want to be the one that drops the ball. Were you raised very observant? I mean, if I do it, I know all the words. You know the words. I did, yeah, I did full Parcia, Haftora, and I led a Shokhri. You went to Hebrew school? We would, I didn't, I went to, I was Bar Misfit Orthodox because it was free.

That's why the written, yeah, my favorite. Yeah, yeah, it was free to go there. But I don't know. I think it's kind of, it's just like, that's kind of nice. boredom is kind of it doesn't make sense you don't know what they're saying but your grandpa didn't make sense to him and that's kind of why you know what I mean well no I grew up Catholic so I'm which we're cousins they spoke Latin back then so it was also gibberish but yeah we both like like hate ourselves and we

both think that life is just agony it we're cousins I mean all of my friends are either Catholic or Jewish or black Catholic Catholicism to me is about redemption yeah yeah you're like you were like a matter how bad you are you have to see that there's a chance to be redeemed for what they did oh yeah I saw the Christian thing when I realized that hell is the meanest thing ever can you imagine forever what is it and if you're a baby and you haven't been baptized what about how is something you're just your hell I got my hell like what your own personal hell you know it's sad yeah I think that

it's just sad that people die wow this is getting pretty it's just sad that you have you know you're alive and then you're afraid to die oh it's the scariest thing ever. I don't understand people are like public speaking is my biggest fear. I was like, what about fucking dying? Yeah, exactly. Forever. What about being thrown out of a plane?

What about fucking dead? By our narcotics. Yeah, yeah. It's terrible. You ever see those movies when they do that? When they take the enemy and they bind them up and then they throw them out of the plane? No. You ever see that? Like in a drug movie? Oh, like a... Well, they take a guy that just don't like Pedro and they throw them out of the plane. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Like if they're criminals, like... Or they're just the enemy. Yeah, yeah. But those guys are ready to die, you know? They're like, you know, they're like, you know they're like it's my thigh you know like it was that good acting okay can we talk can we like special you might be killed can we talk a little bit about your i've been going back through your filmography and your performances and it's just like when you appear on a screen it's like oh it's it's my pal it's like my old pal and this is going to be great i mean you could make a real turd watchable pearl harbor you're like you make the your parts watchable

and that's one of the shittiest movies of all time I mean, I'm serious. Yeah, and it's just like, I, I watched Hone for Red at October with my dad. This is like a hunky leading man. Back then, yeah. From, like, learning about what transpired afterwards, it wasn't the perception I had of you. I feel like the industry has been like a frustration, you know, like especially when it came to like reprising your role as Jack Ryan.

Well, they wanted me to sign up with like a blank contract when we start, when we finish like you only do this and you never do anything else and I had an opportunity as I wrote in my memoir to do the streetcar on Broadway which is a very that was like the opportunity for an actor that was it I would never have that opportunity again ever my perception was that they they kind of like promised you and they threw me out of the plane yeah yeah I mean it's not bad to get replaced by the coolest guy of all time right imagine if it was Brian denahey playing Jack Ryan it's it's Hans so I mean when I read about that I was like it's just so cynical like it's a you're like an artist right and when you talk about performing and acting you get so passionate about it

I'm not that I want to talk well you realized back then what I lived was 89 90 the movie came out 90 and then in the ensuing couple of years the early 90s I learned that you just really can't rely on anybody what they say there so I just whenever they'd say blah bitty bye to them go oh that's great never counting on any of it happening yeah it's very tough you just have to have monsters do it for you. I have a whole team of ghoul. What was the genesis of this meaning? Were you like Rupert Pupkin in the basement and your mother's yelling down the stairs? It is a joke.

It's a joke that became a real thing. Yeah, yeah. So was a joke and your mom goes, please, it's so annoying. This? No. I was being made fun of. No, no.

Yeah, I was the, I was on a podcast that was for, like, I mean, whatever, rick guys. I mean, just idiots. He didn't smile and now I've, okay, I was on a podcast for, like, ugly men right oh for ugly men yeah yeah not mentally just like the worst you know and

it was a cold status it became very successful and then one was it called it was called comtown we tried they yeah anyway it's it got it got successful it's very I don't know I was just there pretty much but the you know that the one of the guys left and then the other guy's idea was to make like by far the least popular nebishi kind of like the glasses, you know, allergies. I was, we all played a role. On the show, on, what's it called, Cumbtown? Yeah, so then.

On that show, were you like a leading man compared to them? No, no, absolutely not, yeah. So sometimes I wasn't even, I was barely even there. But, but, yeah, I think we went a little bit manic and publicly proclaimed we were going to make a television show. We didn't know what cameras or anything, and then we recreated the Dick Cavett show set? I have an image of you in a set like this in your basement

and your mother, whatever, and you're sitting there, and there's a line you say. No, no, no. And that line, you're like sitting there, and you go, I'll show them. Well, no, I mean, I'm not like a scary. I'm not a scary guy like that. No, but it doesn't be scary.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash T-A-F-S, free shipping, and 365-day returns, quins.com slash tafts. I've been, like, I watched the monologue from Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. I have, like, so many friends that went to the revival that were like, that was fucking bullshit. They didn't have put that coffee down. No, no. It was like, because that was only for the film.

Did Mamet write that for you? Yes. Not for me, he brought it for the film. And so like, do you conceive that as like a moment for you? I really don't care in terms of like I never really watch my own stuff and value it in any way. It's the best acting. Well, no, no, but I'm saying that I called Mammett, I go, you won the Pulitzer Prize for the play. Why did you feel it necessary to add something to it? You won the Pulitzer.

He said, I never believed these guys were criminals. I never believed they could commit a crime. They didn't have a criminal nature. so I needed another ratchet, I needed another turn of the screw, to make them commit a crime. And you're going to come in, you're going to tell them, if you don't get this done tonight, it's over. So he brought me in to do that. And it was really tough because I admired all them and I had to piss in their face all day for three days. Did it feel real?

I thought Ed Harris was going to punch me in the face. Really? Because that's what I imagine. In that room, you're with a murder's row, right? Yeah. Do you like, is there a competitive aspect of it? Is it like you don't want to get acted off the screen? Like, did you bring it really because, like, fucking Pacino's and Jack Lemon were like there?

Jack, I admire, move up. Yeah. Well, you just really, I mean, everything you do, you've got to have some motivation. So it's like I'm there with Foley. I've said this a million times. I'm there with Foley, who's the director. And I said, oh, this is tough, man. I mean, I'm just so mean to them.

And Van Foley said to me, who just died recently, he said, it's like that scene in Patton, where he slaps the soldier in the tent. way he has shock you call yourself a soldier you have a shell shark and he goes this scene is you call yourself a salesman he said these guys you're doing it for their own good you're doing it to help them you're helping them I remember sitting there I was like Popeye

after he ate the spinach you know I mean I'm sitting there going let's fucking go and I'm like you know I got out of the chair and I was ready to kill did they show did they give you your flowers was Pacino like why you were great you were great no he wasn't in the scene

no no he wasn't in the scene that's right Yeah, you know, he was... No, Jack Lemmon didn't say a word to me. They all didn't say whatever. He did his parents, probably. No, no, they just stayed in the zone. You know, they were all in that zone all day long, three days. In my mind is a moment in like, it feels like some of the best acting I've ever seen in a film.

And you're only, you were probably on set for, what, two days? Yeah, two and a half days, yeah. And you kind of, like, steal... The most exciting thing in that movie was a good example was, you know, it's the people you work with, obviously the actors are a big part of it, but also the crew. Like I've always worked with, I've been very blessed to work with some of the greatest cinematographers in history. And Juan Ruiz Ancilla, who was the DP on that film, he was like, you know, Babanko's guy, and he was, I love him.

Anyway, Juan Ruiz Anccia, he was going to work with Don McAlpine. I work with Toll, John Toll, I worked with, you know, I'm forgetting that, but Bob Richardson, the legendary Bob Richardson, the one I did. Is there ever a time where they're like, they don't speak English, right? Do you know the story? What's the story? Carlo de Palma.

Oh, of course. That's a... He didn't speak English very well. We did Woody Allen's movie... How does Woody communicate with him on set? He doesn't. He doesn't talk to you. He's like...

They go off and mumble. You put the camera near her. You're close to her. You did three, Woody's? I did three Woody's, yeah. Yeah, yeah. In transitioning to, like, being a comedic actor, which, like, you have a classical training, right? You studied at NYU and like...

Strasbourg. But kind of, in some ways, the way I see it is like you at the TV, that was the beginning of your education. That's where you learn, watching other people. And it's kind of like you were picking, that was like the beginning of theater school for you, right? And like, are you the best actor you've ever been right now? Like, is it something that evolves over time?

Well, I think it's hard to, I'd rather give a, I'd rather have a smaller role in a great film than have a big role in a mediocre film. Yeah. You know, the key is, are you making a film with people who, I said this quote in a documentary I did. I said avoiding any kind of relationship or any kind of communication with the director. They're not availing yourself with the director's skills.

I said it was like trying to avoid the birth canal where you're being born. You're like, all goes through the director. They're making the film. So if you make a film with a good director, you have an increased chance. I've made films where we knew that if everybody did their job perfectly,

every day, the most we could hope for was mediocrity. You know, I mean, it wasn't on the page. I wanted to go to work. But when I work with Marty or somebody like that, and I'm like, you know, fuck, that's exciting. I mean, you were in, too. You kind of stole departed, too. No, no, no, no, no, you seen stole.

But I love doing the aviator because I love that period. I love Leo in that row. Oh, yeah, as Juan. I was exactly. And his daughter is my neighbor on Long Island. She was Betsy DeVecke. Pan Am? Betsy DeVickey said to me, I'll never forget.

You've got fat stacks, no? Or she's probably being house, no? Yeah. She's passed away. Oh, I'm sorry. She had enough house. I'm sorry. May her memory be a blessing.

There was some historic home. But anyway, so Tripp, I'm there with her, and she goes, do you think that Mr. Scorsese would like to have my dad's luggage in the film? And I go, I don't know, I can call him and ask him. And he had Halliburton luggage, that stainless steel luggage, beautiful luggage, all stamped with the logo of Pan Am on there. there and I remember I was thinking my god it's like sell me this fucking like a million dollars I'll give you a million dollars did you tell Marty you

know I told Marty and money were like no that sucks because you're trying to impressive you're like Marty I found the real luggage of the guy realize your research isn't to change the script I've had that happen that's not changing the script you're like going above and beyond you're being a good student you're like you're trying to bring what you can you're trying to bring what you're trying I mean it's Martin's where there are there directors that you've wanted to fucking just pummel. Some of them have to be like manipulative

fucking sociopathic priest. I've been in situations where early on I don't even think they roll the camera. Like you're in meetings before and the guys obviously doesn't have anything to say. Like you just think differently. I don't want to judge people and say mean things about them. But there's like one or two cases where I sat there

and I said that the producers, we get alone in a room and I go, get somebody else. I don't want to do that. I want to go home. Yeah, because you're naturally manipulating someone into giving a performance. So there is some sort of power. You got to have a good director. You have a decent director.

I did this movie The Cooler. And Wayne Cranber was the writer-director. And it was like, and I just loved him. He was really, really, he was into listening to what you had to say, but in the end you defer to the fact, like, if you read a script and you agree to do the film, you agree to do that script, you can't come in, which many actors do, and trying to change things after the fact.

You come in, and then you say to them, let's do some alternatives. We'll do it as written. Yeah. then let's do some improvisations but always do it as written that's we're obligated to do we just had Bill Macy who was also that movie and I say Bill because it's like I'm also famous he said I call him Bill it's kind of thing I made three movies with Bill H Macy you did yeah but he was the you were nominated for the cooler I did the cooler with him goes to Mississippi and then

I did a state in Maine with Mammett so he took it was like his like kind of mentor yes yeah and the way he described his process was like the the least, like, dick-headed way that acting's ever been described to me, which is that there's no character, there's just an objective, like, it's, you do your fucking job, right? And if you do it well... That's the man at school, Mamet wrote a book, yeah. Like, did that rub off on you in working with it? No. No.

You don't buy it. You don't buy it. I work with directors, not many, but a couple, where they say to me, could you do this? And do this, and I didn't quite understand, but I'd always go, because of time. You're part of a collaboration where time is urgent. So I say to the guy, sure, I go, I'll do that right now. Let's do another one, I'll do that. And I go right back and do exactly what I did before. Right.

I go, how was that? So what's your process? Well, if the director is somebody who is, this is the torture, not torture, but the torment of how we work now, is that if there's people who are great directors or you think they're onto something, like Wayne, when I worked with him, he wasn't famous. But when they're onto something, you do what they want to do. Let them lead you. But then with other people, you have to be self-directing, which is tough.

You have to decide, well, I think this is what I should do. And guys will walk up to and go, oh, don't do that or don't do that. See, one thing you always do, I know this is we're digressing, but one thing you always try to do is how much if a performer is the character. So in Glenn Gary, that guy was a performer. He'd gone around the New York real estate world and beyond. Yeah, well, straighten him out. Be your real meat guy.

Yeah, the motivator is their word. And so whenever you do films and things like that, you have to, wonder, is the guy, like I always say the same tired line, which is that Robert Duval plays Boo Bradley and To Kill a Mockingbird. He doesn't have one line. That's one of the most shattering performances you've ever seen in your lifetime. So acting is physical, acting is emotional,

acting as interiority, all these different things. And when you're doing something with the director, and they don't get what you're doing, it's tough. You and Mammett, and especially in Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, it's so testosterone-drought, right? And they're so masculine those scripts. Yeah, they're tough. Yeah, you're in a world where you put on costumes

and you pretend to be other people, but the theatrical arts are not, like, there's a sensitivity about them. But like, well, you can walk into the set with Mamet, and you say to yourself, the films he's directed that he's written have been less successful than the scripts he wrote that other people directed.

But that can't influence what you do. You have to go in with people and always say and think the best. I'm not just saying this to be warm. You know what I mean? You go in there. You don't want to predict failure. I've made movies where the other actor or actress was someone who I didn't quite understand what they were doing. Sucked.

And I didn't quite understand why the director wasn't on them. Who is it? Liz Lemon? Right. We were all thinking of it. She's the funniest person on earth. Well, she's such a unique person, you know, because she's so funny in that. way. I mean, you realize that when I worked with them, I wasn't funny when I worked with

them. Shut the fuck up. Well, no, no, but I've done some SNL, but the point is this, but I really mean this. I learned not to be funny, but I learned what was funny. A lot of things you see now on TV, I mean, a ton of it is more cute than funny, and Tina was funny. I mean, they'd hand me scripts. We do a Wednesday read-through, and they'd hand us the script on a Wednesday morning, and I read

it in the makeup chair, and then we go up to a lunch conference room, which we'd go up to a lunch which had cameras to beam us to Burbank for the executives in California to watch the read-through at 12 noon. And we'd be, and they'd hand me the script that I'd go see Robert Carlock for the lunch read-through and I look at him, I go, are you fucking kidding me? You want me to do, you're out of your mind, you want me to do this? Which was, I was like a gay Mexican soap opera star playing against myself doing the Paddy Duke thing. And he was like, and Carlock always said the same thing.

He said, it's a big swing, it's a big swing. But we know you can do, we have faith in you. It's fun, too, right? I never had more fun in my life. There's a particular scene in which I think your performance is a masterclass in, like, comedic acting, but it's the scene where you take Tracy to meet the NBC therapist, and you play, you can play, like, 12 different characters. I bust up a ship of rope, I see.

And he starts engaging. It's just, it is like a perfect scene. I actually, just this morning remembered another scene of yours, which I, literally made me pee my pants when I was a kid really younger but in a long came Polly when you're pissing next to Ben Stiller and then you like you tenderly like squeeze his earloat and then you start massaging especially after you've been pissing and you're his boss of course it's it's just I knew she was a dime store who at the moment I know I said I who had the vision that like who knew you were

funny because you're gonna do this like I I'm not funny at all I'm just an actor but like was it Lord like did I wouldn't did SNL the first time and what I learned was unless you're Stallone or Schwarzenegger where they're gonna make up fun of your persona they're not gonna do that you gotta become one of the company and just pull your pants down and make an ass of yourself is it more fun oh yeah yeah no I loved SNL because you would never there's things you do that not all of it but there were things you would do that you would never do anywhere else yeah I have that experience you had to do that show like little canteen boy that's

I don't think it was little canteen boy what is it I think he was strapping can't even oh no no I was in no I was the scout measure he was right yeah yeah uh you know we used to live in a fucking sandler better yeah yeah yeah yeah they got more complaints about that sketch than any sketch it was pretty funny honestly do you do you ever fear that like your perception as a celebrity might overshadow like the very reason why you're a celebrity well yeah you have to be very careful I tell people all the time who are young I'm like don't see the people who are the biggest stars you know the least about them yeah and they control them I

would be a ghost yeah yeah if you go out of you if you if they see you doing things in public and it's not appealing or attractive it's not it's not gonna help you like I mean I felt like if guys were 75 feet away with a long lens and they took a picture I never care it was when they got up close almost hit my wife in the teeth with the lens of their camera I mean I would get that's when I got a little panicky yeah I did get so I mean I took the bait more than months but it's not the bait they're fucking hitting your wife in the face with a camera almost was the first time you got paparazzi like kind of cool were you like dude I must be sexy I've hated them from

day one you hated them day one you're just an Italian guy following you around just like bella bella you know I don't know what they're like I've never gotten one well here it's it we hear it's gone from like a you see you're too young to remember like here it's gone like a very very obscure corner yeah the entertainment space as a room they were often a little corner and all this kind of salacious gossipy stuff was very very very like third or fourth tier I feel He didn't know about people's lives. And now it's an industry.

And now they're going on and making a fool of famous, wealthy sports figures, music figures, entertainers of what else, actors, businessmen, Musk, whoever, politicians to humiliate them and embarrass them publicly. That's a huge industry now. So they're out there with nets trying to catch something. I feel like I'm lucky that I'm not a punching guy. I'm more of a like I'll psychologically destroy, you play the long game. Yeah, you stare at them.

Do you think that you were characterized as, like, a, like a, a tabloid fixture? As a bully. As a bully. As a bully. I went up to one girl one time. The guys that were trying to take a picture of your newborn child? Well, one guy walks up, we're coming out of our building, and we're walking down the block, and he's walking backwards. And he's really big.

He's like six, four. He's a tall. He's a big guy, you know what I mean? And he doesn't pay attention. And he trips and falls and sits on a baby in a stroller. What's behind you? Your baby? No, no.

Somebody else said. Oh, thank God. Thank God. And he's going backwards, and he falls onto the, and sits on the baby in the stroller. And I thought to myself, I won't say what I've thought. You're like, it's my fault. No, no.

I'm a really, yeah. We should just chop him up now right here. I wanted to mention something to you that I've felt, and I've been, it's kind of like been dawned on me since I was like doing the research for you. And it's going back to what I said is like that your celebrity sometimes can, has overshadowed kind of. reputation is what you mean but it's just like you use the word celebrity or

reading yeah public life right something I've picked up on is like I watched your reality show right and why because like I was being thorough but like it really dawned it the first thought I had was like is this what you have to do these days like in in a moment of extreme like a personal crisis like I'm weeping in a conference room with some publicists and I go what can I do to clean up this massive needs and they go you can have seven kids is it but like what I'm saying is like for me personally I've like I'm not into like celebrity gossip but when I heard about what happened right it didn't sound real to me where right in New Mexico

right it didn't sound like a real thing that happened in the real world I think we probably made jokes about it like it didn't dawn on me until I was doing research for the show And I really felt like it would be something that you would carry for the rest of your life. And it just, it kind of dawned me that, like, people don't perceive public figures as real human beings, perhaps. I think that in that case, among countless things I could say, was the idea that when my case imploded it was over. It was over not because of a statement of a jury or of the cleverness of my lawyers, the judge. It was thrown out, yeah. The judge terminated the trial.

She thought this is enough of this is just insane. And when that happened, a friend of mine, a woman was an attorney, very famous attorney, she said to me that what bothered her was, she said, once they couldn't get you, it was over. The case didn't continue. They're not out there looking for the guy that brought the bullets onto this. Once they attempted to frame you and they couldn't do it, it ended. Which that should be of grave concern to everybody that lives in the case. to everybody that lives in that community

that are just imploded because they didn't succeed at their other things. Certainly, but beyond that, like, I've, looked at, like, the way that it's discussed in popular discourse and on the internet, like I looked at Reddit. Well, Reddit's bad. It's bad, but it seems like

people don't process it in a way that this is clearly something that is not someone's fault. Instead, they kind of, in a very unfair way, I started to blame to you. blame to you no it's not funny funny is like at least like a lot of it they try they think it's funny funny is at least like ironic I think people that genuinely assign blame for something that's like literally you know that you'll carry for the

rest of your life and it really upset me especially because I've been like revisiting all your work that like this that this thing could overshadow like what is so beloved about you well I mean on one hand you say to yourself you say carry for the rest of your life I don't really anything for the rest of my life meaning do I feel overwhelmed and pain by the suffering and the tragedy of what happened yes but do I feel responsible no no because what happened was we remember they decided to leapfrog over a pole vault over the whole idea that in the previous several days we were doing

the film yeah we did a protocol that we did the same thing and nobody came up to me in my shooting in the film you don't know what I just want to say because you did bring it up one two three four five days no one came up to me and said hey let's do it this way. It was only after the fact that they said, oh, we're supposed to do it this way. But let me just close. I don't want to end on that. Yeah, yeah, no. But let me just say this. Yeah, go ahead. Having my kids and having all these children, I'm 67 years old, I've got a three-year-old baby, so I got a lot of kids at home, little kids, and they saved my life. And I'm sure the same is true with you, which is that you get to the point where, I mean, I'm older now, but when you

get to the point where you think less about where you get love than where you give love. One of the more frustrating and even painful things in life is you have nobody to give your love to. You might have a lot of love to give in your heart to people. Your parents are gone, what have you. And with my kids, it's like I have a lot of love to give and I have all these kids around me all day long. And I'm not really doing, I wasn't doing very much

for the last three and a half years. I was home all the time, and they saved me. They saved my life to have that exchange of, like, love, energy with these children who are all, you know. And they all make fun of me. I show them pictures of me from old movies and like, here I am with Michael Keaton. You were a piece of ass though. Well, no, no, but here I ain't with Michael Keaton.

I had a good month. I had a strong month back there in the 80s. Shut the fuck. But I had a picture of me with Michael Keaton and Gina and me and Beetlejuice. And they go, that's me there with a dark hair and I'm thin. Oh, you had the lumberjack. And my kids look at it. They're like, no, no.

They put Michael Keaton. They're like, that's you. That's you. That's you. No. Beetlejuice. He's a cool guy. What I'm saying is this is like, you're an artist, right, and you're motivated in your craft.

You still have artistic ambitions, right? A couple. What would you define those people? I want to do a play. I'm working on a play. I don't want to get into too much detail, but I'm working on a play right now. With a writer who I admire this incredible writer who I've been friends with for years, my admiration for him is boundless, and he is going to write a one-man show for me.

There'll be ancillary characters, me. But I'm going to play the lead role in this one-man show, which is a real historical, survey of the United States post Cold War and it's one figure that we funneled the whole thing through and he's the prism of the whole thing. Who is it? And I don't want to say Hoover. Right, Hoover. Right, no,

Hoover. I don't want to play Hoover. They made Hoover. Nixon. No, no. But anyway, anyway, not somebody can I write Nixon for you? Not somebody you'd be off the top of your head you wouldn't figure. Kessinger's got a pussing again. The Jew is a natural spy. I can say that. The Times are run by these Jews.

Yeah, yeah. He really, he really, he really He was an anti-Semitic maniac, yeah. Well, it wasn't anti-Semitic. I mean, this guy was just his entire life, he wouldn't take no for an answer, and he just kept running for crap. I mean, you know, the pretty boys, like, stole the election from him, you know. They may have. Yeah.

When you have a... But he still made it to the top, and he was still kind of alone. You know, that's the thing about him. And then they kicked him out. For what? Spying on the other... I'm not a Republican, but, like... Spying on the other guys, they have to all be doing that.

McGovern needed to be spied on. Yeah, he was lost by a zillion. Let's get back to the exchange of the love energy, shall be over, wait. When you're in bed with your girlfriend. Yeah. And try to, your name is Pat. Nixon, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was gonna say, her girlfriend there was Pat. Can I escort you on dates? Should we, I just watch her get slammed. Yeah, okay. So, but the thing is, is that, so you're there in the house and maybe the time, as I say in those like, Those ostee-spamante commercials, whatever, like, you know, the time is right. When do you know the time is right?

When you and she are going to, well, sex or love or whatever you want. When she lets me... She signals. Yeah, she's the girl. That's the rules, right? Is that what it is? You don't... You don't pin her on the ground.

I'm not going to go there. I'm a gross guy. I want to have it all the time. You follow her. She leads. I'm still, yeah, of course. She turns you and she's like, let's go. I mean, that's the rule. I mean, that's the system.

Is that what you do? I don't want to, you know, because when you do it and she's like, I feel disgusting. So you don't walk in, you have a drinking, looking and go, get your clothes. You know what the worst thing in the world is? Is when they're on their period, their boobs are a little bit bigger.

And we forget every month. So we're like this, and then you get slapped. I'm disgusted. And it's like, fuck. It's a symptom. The period thing again. I'm an idiot. I felt her again.

God is laughing up there. She wants you to take control. Take my hand. No, she's, no. You're going to reach for her in any curve you want to squeeze. Don't take no for hands. She just.

Shove her on the bed. Just shove her on the bed. I don't, I, do you think a woman, do you think like, if I learned how to kill someone with my bare hands, do you think I'd get more respect from my girlfriend? What is this a Hitchcock movie? I don't know. I just feel like if, as a man, she should be like, this guy could.

I'm only going to say, take, if you don't know what I mean by this, then you're hopeless, just take charge. Women want you to, women want you to decide where you're going to go to dinner. Can we, can we pray? Can we prank call her right now? Yeah, she doesn't want to be on the show. No. She doesn't even know that I'm successful.

She doesn't need my help, you do. What I'm not, what am I going to force my, when I'm going to put her in a ball gown and then do a, do a waltz? You're going to walk up to her blouse. You're going to whip it open. Really? I think she'd yell at me for her shirt. Get a box of shirts.

Do it every night. She stops me from getting hit by a car, like at least once every two weeks. It's a good system we have. Yeah. Take charge. I don't know. The reservation.

You come home. You have sex before I have dinner. Reservation. What the hell do I know from restaurants? Wait, can I go back to the love thing you were saying? Yeah. You've lost your parents? Yeah, my parents had died.

So yeah, I lost a pair of like five years ago. Who wasn't? My mother. I'm sorry. It's the best, the twin, the best one. But that's kind of what my major takeaway was. And you know, it's really corny. guys don't just it's so embarrassing what I'm saying but my boy dude but it's like

why all the song all songs are about it and like poetry like most movies are about love and I think it's like the first time I ever saw like a point to anything was that our family was all together and it kind of yeah it gave me a new appreciation I think a fun experiment for you or anybody especially because you're so young man I'm older yeah and my my my uh my uh garden is planted here, so to speak. But for you, it's like, remember, always at least entertain the idea that your private life is exactly

different from, completely different from your professional life. What do you mean? You're a certain way here. Then when you go home, you mix a drink, you rip the shirt off, you throw her on the bed. So I do whatever you fucking want to do. So I should say to people on the show that I do that. No, no, no.

You should be who you are that's gotten you here. Yeah, and she's like, I have cramps and stuff, and then I've already torn all the clothes and I'm damn right, you do. I'm hard and stuff. I'm like, they don't have to go to the bathroom and jerk life. You could have left that, you could have all that out let's cut the way you don't curse you're not a you're not a you know

well I can curse but I'm just trying I don't know I don't know I'm just saying that if she has cramps or a headache and then I've done all that then I'm like what that at least you tried well yeah but then there's a torn clothes and then I'm like I'm not caring about this and then I have to go to the bathroom and jerk off like a loser wait can you just good night everybody da da da da la la la la I want to just I want to just I got time for one more. Ask me an important question.

It doesn't involve your boner or her period. What the hell? What you? I'm sorry, dude. I wasn't the hottest guy in the world and I didn't have sex with a thousand women. But you will be. Go ahead. Why do you have a good personality?

Why do you have a personality at all? As like a hot guy with like a, that, you know, like why I had to develop a personality because I thought that I would never find a wife. So take their mind off the fact of you. I think that you were, you've probably like, you've probably always been. and great with the ladies. And you developed, it makes me, I don't know. Why is a guy that looks good also funny?

It's kind of our thing. I'm not that funny, yeah. No, you're funny, bro. You told me to do that whole thing to my girlfriend. That was hilarious. I think you should just take charge. I said, just take charge. All right, so the last thing I'll say is this,

and that the more and more you work in this business and the more and more you care less about the outside, so to speak. When I was younger, dye my hair, style my hair, the clothes, that this, that. And then eventually, I got seven kids, and I thought, I don't have the time for this. You also had the chest music, too. Is that what I happened? Yeah, that was what chest music was big. When he was a hug, he had, like.

I had surgery. I had my skin cancer. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, thank you. I can't grow chest hair. You don't have any hair? No, no, low testosterone, probably. You don't have any hair?

You have any pubic hair? Oh, my balls, yeah, yeah. I have a lot, yeah. So when you have a boner, when she won't have sexually, you have a boner, it's a hairy boner or it's a hairless boner? Well, you got to trim around the base. It's a dolphin or it's a extra inch probably. It's some shrubbery.

Yeah, yeah. That's what, okay, just one last one. Yes. Okay, I have to ask you this, and what do you make of the allegations that still follow you to this day concerning the boss babies' treatment of employees and the toxic work environment? I can't comment on that. My follow-up question is, can a voice actor be held responsible for a cartoon?

I'm really famous. I will honestly say, and I tell people, they go, what's your favorite movie? What do you think is the best movie ever did? And the answer was Boss Baby. Boss Baby is the perfect movie. I love Boss Baby. Really? I think it's great.

I think it's amazing. What was the company of the Boss Baby? Tom McGrath was the director. the director. I love Tom. What were they doing, though, at the company where he was the boss? Oh, baby corps. Baby core.

Wanting people to have babies. Sounds sinister. Wanting to have babies and not pets. They were making people have sex with each other? Well, that just came with the character. That's what the boss baby's about. I got to watch that movie. Yeah.

I think I missed it. Didn't the boss baby have a button under his desk that would lock the door? That's Matt Lauer. Okay. There you did. All right, I got a good night. All right, I got a home.

You know,