The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 006 – Lesbian Law

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

Everyone is invited to the studio to watch slap shot

The Hello, and welcome to the Adam Friedland show, the Wednesday episode. A lot of work going on around the studio. We have a new friend over for our fireside chat series. You want to say hello? Hey guys, what's going on? You need me to introduce myself? Oh, I did say you want to say hello. Do you want to say hello and introduce yourself? Yeah. What's up guys? I'm Aiden McCluskey. How's it going? Nice. So you said there's a lot of work that's been going on. What's what's some of the stuff you've done today? I think I'm sick right now. I know I'm just asking. Why are you doing this crap? I'm just asking why are you pulling

this crap right now on the show? What kind of work has been? You know what happened? I got to the studio at I got to the studio and literally fell asleep for four hours today. Okay. And then I woke up and I'd sweat through my shirt and sweatshirt. And I didn't tell you this couch probably. There was there was nothing on the couch. Okay. There was a little bit of sweat on the couch. That's all right. I am going to right after this girlfriend on that couch. No here. Why? I don't know. I'm just asking that. Is there a cum stain on there? No, I just that seems like the kind of move. No, we have an apartment where we live together. All right. Maybe you do like I'm a businessman now. Yeah, I mean

take her to the studio. You don't do anything like that. Well, I did do them. I didn't do it on the couch. I did do the move where I I swept everything off next desk, including the iMac Pro as you should. And then I threw her down onto it. There you go. And then surprising that that desk can hold a combined 180 pounds. It's true. Yeah, you didn't look like you were in good shape when I got here, dude. Yeah, I've been feeling I mean, I don't know if you could hear my voice, but my I feel like you normally sound like that. No, I don't normally sound like this. No, I feel like I have knives in my throat. And like I think I started feeling that way about like an hour or two before Jordan got here on on Monday

and Jordan sick. Now she's got a few years. She is. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to everyone sick. Yeah. Yeah, everyone, everyone in New York is sick right now. What is whatever this board? We've talked about this a lot. But like why have we looked the last two years we get sick every three weeks? It's because everyone was inside for two years and nobody got sick for two years. Yeah. So your immune system's like your immune systems like any other part of your it's funny because like, Oh, there's all these processes in your body that kind of like work hard and do stuff that don't really seem to line up with like my personality and how I am. Like I don't do shit. The immune system is the only thing

that's also my personality where it's like, Oh, I'm not fucking. I'm not fucking working today. Yeah, I'm doing nothing. Yeah, I'm off the clock. Yeah. A virus. Let's we'll deal with this later. Yeah, whatever. We'll wait until this is fucking like in every organ. Yeah, wake me up when it's cancer. I take a piss and I can't see the bottom of the fucking toilet. Wake me up when it's full blown HIV. Yeah. What is RSV? That's what babies are getting now. It's baby. It's baby. It's like feline aids. Well, that's because they've made the the Democrats. They've made the baby slots these days. Yeah. The babies are they've been too slow. They go to Harry Styles concerts and they get dp'd and it's just I can't figure

out here. Harry Styles. Why dresses and shit or what I just don't like. What is he doing? What is he doing? He's a he's doing what a million people have done before him. He acts gay to get pussy. Yeah. I mean, he's he's making the game easier for guys like me and Adam. No, do you do that? I don't think you act gay. You know, for code on right now. Yeah. What do you mean? That's just a fleece like a fleet. But no, I mean, that's not animal. That's not for no. It's not real fleece. No, it's so funny. My gay cousin. Our friend Aiden. Oh, you're a gay cousin. Yeah, that's pretty gay. Gay cousins name Andy, gay cousin Andy, gay cousin Andy Cohen from Bravo television Long Island. Yeah. Anyway, but it's so funny

that you think just a fleece hoodie is gay because you're from Minneapolis. Yeah. You got to you got to be in this city a little bit longer to find out what real gay is, bro. Yeah. Yeah. What is gay in New York is just everyone. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, how I like honestly make a guy in Chelsea be like, wow, that guy is gay. gay in New York is being a straight guy. Wow. Straight in New York. That's gay. It's a Zen thought. The zinc's doing its work. Thanks for the zinc. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, he keeps zinc in his in his in snooze pack. Yeah, this is in pocket. Yeah, I always have vitamins. You have a nicotine. What is it? It's a snooze pack. Yeah, this is in pouches. Yeah, nicotine salt pouch.

It's healthier. Yeah, and vitamins and vitamins and my keys. That's kind of the midwest every day carry the every day carry chat. I love that. I got to get back into that subreddit. The everyday carry subreddit. Yeah, I feel like our just got just like software engineers being like, look at my fucking keys. How fucking good my keys on my desk. Well, I know it's not an ad read right now, but our our friends over Ridge wall, they have this this key chain thing where you can like fold them all together into a tube. I bet you those everyday carry guys are probably really busted. I see that shit. Yeah, I bet you that gets a real wet or you just carry a Zen. Yeah, or you got a fucking 10 is in your plastic carry everything

in there. Hell yeah, brother. We got to get into Zen so we stop vaping on the video episodes. I've quit vaping a million times, but you bring that shit around me. It was fine when it was just like I could sort of manage it when we were just doing the podcast. It was like, you know, just this joke that we would launch a talk show. But now I have to see this motherfucker every single day all day long. I haven't been vaping all day. Yeah, but usually it's very good. Yeah, it's healthy. It's better for you. It's good. That's what they say. I heard it's healthy. Yeah, it's really good for you. So and you were recently on on the road, Nick. Yeah, in San Francisco. How are the shows? The show's really good, man. All

sold out. It was pretty sick, man. Yeah, you did great. I was the worst part of the show. You did great. Thanks, man. You were the worst, but I'm the Arab guy that looks like the Philly fanatic. That's the opener. That was the host. Yeah. I don't want to say it to his face because it was mean, but he said that the first night in the Uber bag, he has they have the same like body. I got to see him now. Like, you know, like he's got a mascot in South body, but you know, like, you know, they're like a silhouette of a cartoon character. Like what cartoon character is this? And in like indistinguishable to have. Yeah. That's so funny. Did you want to say it to his face? I don't know. I don't know the guy that well.

Well, you chill with him this weekend. You could have slipped in a conversation. I felt like it seemed like it probably would have hurt his feeling when I would have done is like you're you're you're bringing Aiden out on the road. You're giving him a lot of opportunities. I would have been like, well, Aiden was saying that you look like an air version of the Philly fanatic. What do you think about that? I mean, that's fine. I didn't, first of all, I didn't say an air version. He looks like the Philly. Yeah. I said, you look like a caliphate version of the Philly fanatic and the caliphonatic, the caliphonatic. No, he did well. No, it was a great, it was a great weekend. Yeah. You're being so hard on yourself, dude. Every

show is so annoying. So now he's like decided he's bad at Santa. People were lined up. Out into the, you know, they were waiting to see. Afterwards, they want to ask questions about Adam, which I'm happy to answer. What do you tell them? You know, they're like, what happened with Dasha? And I go, you know, I had to go in all the details and stuff. You know, I'm in the usual meet and greet kind of. Well, I'm glad you that's why people pay for tickets is they want, they want the inside scoop. They want the hot gossip. I'm glad you're getting the truth out there, dude and help myself. They know my eyes will roll back into my head and I'll just artistically catalog every detail of Adam's December 4th.

You read from your, you read from your police law and Bonnie came out and Adam and Bonnie spent two days. I had nothing to do. First of all, that's not true either. Yeah, they spent two days together. That's not true at all. Took a picture in his house. Jesus fucking Christ, man. They were in love. You want like here's the thing. It's like I love you to Bonnie. Yeah, that is true. I did say that. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. She was like, this is, this is why I love you. So he's doing all right. I hope so too. No, you don't. You don't care. I mean, I don't care. You are about to have, huh? Who's this Bonnie? Whatever, bro. Okay. I'll say some girl came to my house and took a selfie and then became a it became

a controversy on the internet for like, because it's like celebrity gossips for like the celebrity gossips for literally the biggest fags on earth. People are like, Oh my God, Nick and Adam. Yeah, so that's what, but like literally Nick and I have discussed about how like we're starting this new show. Now we want to create more of a more of a wall between our personal lives and the show and Nick is just as you can tell right now. Yeah, just completely incapable of it. I'm not saying it's good though. It brings people out. They want to tell us that this is a motor that is not what brings them out. This is a motivator to get us out of the pot. That's the meat. Well, I, I agree. A quick, a quick Adam Friedland

show update. Let's hear it from our executive producer, Nick. Well, we put with a producer has come in. He's cleaned up the storage room and that was that I couldn't turn you. Yeah. We still need a we're getting the sound. Soundproofing has been ordered. So that's comes in and then we got to get a, you know, the other shit. And that was a great update, Nick. Okay. What's happening right now is we have a producer and then right now we are interviewing different telepoekers so that we have our calendar full of guests and we'll have at least three months. We hired a journalist to turn Adam into Charlie Rose. That is actually a true thing. I'm like everything else. Nick has said. Yeah, prior to this. We bought shelves. We hired a producer.

That's true. No, not everything, but this that was all true as well. Saying I love you to bond. Oh, so the personal stuff that that's what he said for the for, I mean, for those playing along at home. That's not that was I like the colors set up. You got going. That is very Charlie Rose. Half out, half in. Wait, Charlie Rose is a dappermint. You know what I want to do for all the interviews. You never had a hair out of place is when you introduce guests and we'll do it and we'll block you in a way where they can't see it. But I'll do fake book covers for every guest you bring on. And then you can introduce them as the author of because I got to justify buying that photo printer. Other than just the one,

the one book. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, thanks. Every guest will have a book every guest has a book. Only doing authors. I'm just thinking about how like we were talking yesterday about the show and he was saying about how we how we there was too much exposure to our personal lives. And then in reality, I was just thinking about it through again. And it's literally just my personal life. So far. Yeah, literally we had girlfriends. We weren't we didn't mention their names for years. It was just like literally just every aspect of my smart enough to keep my relationship. So you're saying that like you want to like you want to capture this in some sort of creative way, but it's just literally like

something that I've had to experience. Yeah, exactly. Aiden gets it. Yeah. That's why this is why I bring this guy. How much is he paying you? I'll take you on the road, Adam. I'll take it. It's weird. I'll take it. Well, we'll do a show like Guantanamo Bay. There we go. Now where you take people out on the road. No, it's good. It's good being good to people that you know your comics you like. That's how the business works. I saw Caleb out to Boston. I love that guy. Very funny. Yeah. You know, Caleb was his last name. Fuck. I guess we don't know. I guess we'll get that. We'll figure it out. But he's a good guy. Yeah, well, he's a pretty good guy. I met him a couple of times, but he's around your age.

He was you should say you guys off on a play date or something. That would be nice. How old are you? 23. Nice. Yeah. What's that all about? The Jordan year. I mean, a lot of up and downs, you know, it's a I'll be 24 next month. So I don't really know where we're going with this. But just, you know, Nick and I are over the hill. No, we're just trying to live vicariously through you every week. Yeah, that's true. You are just killing myself with Chinese chemicals. We're just trying to live through you, brother. These are good. The alfbar's are good for you. I heard someone someone I was talking to yesterday. His sister-in-law got lymphoma from what vapor? What? What? Yeah. What do you mean she got

they know that? Yeah, she just went through her first run of chemo, but she got it. How do you know she got it from? She got it from a puff plus. That's a good thing. Do you know that? Yeah. God damn it. I don't want to get fucking lymph. Oh, no, that's like the worst one. Right? No, I mean, they're all pretty bad. I don't know anything at leukemia. No, I thought lymphoma was a pretty bad one. Is that the smoking one? Is it? I have no idea. I didn't get lymphoma from vape pens. I don't know. Should I call them and see if I misremember that? Get them on the phone. See, of course, dude's Chinese crap. Yeah, dude, my friend, he owns a vape juice company and they just had a call with the FBI or not. I'm sorry,

the FDA. They just had a call. Now Nick is looking up WebMD. He's not going to be listening to the rest of the show. Yeah, you're so gay with all your fucking stupid quirks. No, you're stupid. My health anxiety is you're more of a Jew than I am. I'm literally not. You didn't want to leave with the lymphoma stuff when I offered you this. I don't know. That was anecdotal. You know, that wasn't, I listened to journals of medicine. I don't listen to some guy being like, oh, my family's really sad because I was like, listen, leave your anecdotes to yourself, sir. What was it? Oh, yeah, my friend, my friend just had a, he has a juice company, a vape juice company that they've been running that the FDA is

shutting down. Oh, and they just had a call with the FDA and my friend was saying to me, he was like, he was like, he's like, listen, I'm just trying to sell poison to children that's highly addictive. Can you get the fuck off my ass? What did they say? No, he obviously didn't say that, but he was retelling the story. He was like, why can't they just fucking leave me alone? I'm trying to sell poison to children that is highly addictive. What's he think about it? Does he vape? Yeah, of course he vape. Well, then he stands by his product at least. No, I think he, I don't know if he, no, they sell like the juice that you put in like the real pro rigs. They put in like the real, like you put in those

like fucking the big mods, the suitcase bonds. Yeah, I'm on the ones that the mungs use and do tricks with and stuff. The mungs. Well, that's that's another Minneapolis reference. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, not a lot of mungs. We don't have mung out here. No, not a mung in the same. So what are your, what are your biggest issues with them? I have no issues with them. They're very hardworking people. I thought you were saying that you didn't like. No, I just know that they love vaping. Have you seen grand Reno? It's a good movie. Yeah, those kids are humong, aren't they? Yeah, they're, they're mung. Yeah, but it's mung with an H. Yeah, but it's silent. As far as I know, I don't know. Have you ever

chilled with a mung person? I don't think so. Really? I have a few. You should, when you're up there over in Minneapolis, you should. I don't know. I think I got to go to get checked for lymphoma now. I shouldn't have said that. We shouldn't have. Whatever, bro. Be an adult, dude. The world is horrific. Just hear horrific things. And then just be like living. Just yeah, I'm just gonna fucking. I'm just gonna keep chilling doing my thing. I figured it was worse for your heart, I guess, than it was. No, you're putting shit into your lungs at a high volumes of shit. I guess it's not burning. Is that the difference? But what is it? It's it's what it is. It's a glycerin vegetable glycerin. I'm done. No more vaping.

I'm done. I've decided because a cadence brother's wife. That's all I needed to hear. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm glad I help Nick. I can't say the same. I'll probably still keep vaping. Keep doing your thing. Yeah, I'm gonna keep like you said, you just I don't even enjoy it though. It makes me feel fucking sick, dude. It makes me fucking disgusting. Yeah, I feel fine during the day until I start vaping. And then the second that starts, I just feel like fucking dog shit. I'm like, God, I get like fucking like just I'm sweating. I mean, the minute I got in the door, I offered and you're like, Oh, yeah, I can't. There's no there's no way to do it where it looks cool. It's just such a it's it's you don't look in green. Yeah,

this one's like for girls. This is like the one Elf bar. This is like marketed for little girls. It is. Yeah, it's like the strawberry shortcake of apes. It's like if you read like nylon mag. It's nylon man. I don't know. It's like a magazine that like girls that thought they were alt would read. I think when they were like 12. Yeah. How long ago? I don't fucking know, dude. Adam's favorite. No, it's not my favorite. You're okay. No, I'm fucking sick. You know this. Yeah, we're all sick. Mm hmm. With a little phone. We got the zinc though. So you're good. Yeah, the sink. That's all I needed to pair it with the magnesium. It'll be fine. What is zinc? It's a metal. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I got to

take metal to feel better to feel better and you're trying to tell me the apes are bad. Yeah, right. Why would this metal be good for me? I don't go bite metal. I don't go put metal in my cereal. Anyway, so so you recently extorted by lesbians. That's true. Yeah, this is a great story. I'm in the midst of being extorted by lesbians. Oh, they're still trying to extort you. Well, I think when I get back, I have a court date for because I didn't get approved for the one restraining or lesbian court. Yeah, some along those lines. I'm assuming. I think they have a different judicial branch than all of us. Yeah, they have different laws. It's like a marathon. Yeah, lesbians. Yeah, lesbian law. But yeah,

I've been fucking extorted by two lesbians. I can't say their name because then I'll start getting in trouble. But Shannon and laser is close. Yeah, I mean, that's the sort of energy they bring. There's the one that's like not entirely lesbian when she gets a few drinks in her and the one that Sarah Bell when she starts going, she starts mopping off some D. Well, she'll start offering massages to fellas. That's probably probably the other one probably doesn't like take a liking to that. She's encroaching on the Mung territory. Right. This is this is Mung land you're on right now. Mung business. Yeah. So speaking of online sports betting. There we go. We're going to get back to the story. I don't have

my phone on me. Do you know your phone? I'll go get it for you. Why don't you tell Aiden about my book? Just give me the fucking. I'll tell you about. Do you like sports? A little bit. I bet on basketball. Occasionally when my buddies and me picks my boy Garrett, he's got a system. Yeah, he's a little bit. He's got it down. He won he won a grand like last week on 50 bucks on 50 bucks. Yeah. What was the bet? Just a bunch of over under bets on play of parlay. Yeah, I think so. See if you want to go back in a time machine, you can make even more money in that with my book, my book on a G. So my book on a G is a platform where you can bet on games and not only can you bet on the games prior to the game, you

they have live in game wagering. So let's say you made a real dumb shit bet at the beginning of the match. You realize you've already lost. They have constantly updated odds and you can place bets. Make all it. Make it all back. Make it all back in one. You throw one and a half. You just go for it all. You can really you're like, I fucked it. I spent money that I don't have. Now I'm going to borrow money from my mother, right? And I'm going to spend money that she doesn't have. And I'm going to get it all back and everyone in my life is going to, everyone in my life is going to be like, you know what, you were all right this whole time, even though you vape too much, you were all right. Anyway,

so they not only do they have a sports betting on NCA football, NFL football, NBA, major league baseball next season when it's back NCA basketball, they have betting on all this crap, but they also have you can bet on the on ponies. They have tournaments. Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but Joey keeps sending me the updated copy and it's a dot DAT file. What's a dat? I don't know. Isn't that an audio format virus or something? Joe keeps sending us a fucking virus. So shout out to Joey. I take this hoodie off, man. I'm fucking overeating here. Okay, we're going. So they also have casino games slots. You like to play the slots? You like gambling a little bit. I don't like living Vegas. You lived in Vegas. Where I live in

Vegas from there to no, no, no, no. I moved out there to stop drinking. You know, I'm like Mr. Las Vegas, right? Yeah. Yeah. All that's right. Yeah, I moved out there to stop drinking gambling. Why did what the hell? Why did to stop drinking? You got a you fell in with a bad scene. It was just Wisconsin scene. Bunch of humongous lesbians as you do. Yeah, as you do. You go on a thirsty Thursdays with the humongous. Yeah, among lesbians. My book.com. They got prop bets. They got spreads. They got fucking. They got prop. It's spread fucking match your deposit up to a thousand dollars. It's NFL week eight. You know, that means a lot of money to be made. So he sent it to you. No, I'm I'm I'm doing

my job. That's great, dude. That sounded awesome. That's not like it was from the paper. I've been a professional broadcaster for six years. Don't get it twisted just because I'm overheating and I have lymphoma. It doesn't mean that I can't do my sorry for saying that to anyway. So we go. Oh, they have casino games, slots. You play poker, whatever, whatever the fuck you do at a casino. And if you put in our promo code, come down or come to 20. Come down. No, it's T. A. F. S. If you put in our promo code, T. A. F. S. You'll get a special sign up bonus deposit up to $18 million. So if you put in 18 million, you're getting 18 million right back. And guess what? You can cash out immediately. That's a free $18

million. And that is what I like to call. Can't lose my book. He promised. Yeah, can't lose my bookie. Guarantee my book. Yeah, meaning your book who bookie my bookie. Is that like a black guy? Is there is from there? Yeah, he's from there. No, it's actually a white guy that talks like he's black. Yeah, Nick and the character is me. What's wrong? You have lymphoma. No, I'm like, I'm like overheating. It's really hot in here. Actually, it's toasty. We had all the radiators fucking plugged so they wouldn't make noise. Also, we came in here like three weeks ago and the fucking place was just flooded. This was flooded. Yeah, fucking radio was flooded. Yeah, we had a flood three weeks ago. Yeah, maybe a little

bit longer than that. But a month ago. Yeah, mother to just yeah, we've had a lot of it's been a real smooth ride. Anyway, but yeah, so go to my bookie dot h e or what? It's a good place. Put in promo code tasks. Is the $18 million really true? No, yeah, it's true. Yeah, but it's free. It's fucking depositing $18 million at an offshore sports betting website. I mean, even $1,000, you're already rolling pretty high. It is pretty hot. Yeah, but they have a team of experts that work for them that they're really, they're really good at making a sports betting website. So nice. That's how you know you can trust them. You do UFC on there too. Oh, they got UFC. They got UFC. You ever throw out all your

spices and just start over? Sometimes there's like they get like a film on the outside of the spices. Way too many fucking spices. It's not a film. It's what it's because you cook stuff in this like the steam. It gets sticky. Well, carry some of the oil, I think. Yeah. And then that just settles on all the shit. You don't clean your kitchen. So that's what that is. I think you just said you had deep clean. I did. I'm saying him. Yeah, I have my I'm not actually clean, but now I'm looking at it and I got too many. I got too many spices. You know, when am I going to use white pepper? You never know. White pepper is good. It's very strong. Very good. It's very strong. You know, when's the next time I'm making macaroni

and cheese? Maybe tonight? Yeah, that'd be good. But you know, I was watching that the hoarder show. Love it, dude. Oh, such a good show. This is a great show, dude. Addicted the bullshit on TLC. Yeah, well, intervention is a good one, too. Yeah, I got a good clip of this lady. Let me see. Anyway, I sent it just fucking just one of the hoarder's ladies at somebody's mom and fucking the host of the show realizes that the mom's just been like overdosing her insulin, like on purpose. And yeah, she just says to the mom. I've been trying to commit suicide for a while here. That's what I'm hearing. Dude, I have. Yeah. What did she say? I've been trying to commit suicide for a while here. That's what

I'm hearing. Yeah. He's been trying to commit suicide for a while here. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah, that's my vibe. Just on TV. Yes, you've been trying to kill yourself lately. Yeah. What is it? She's taking too much insulin? Is that what she's doing? Yeah, taking too much or not enough insulin lowers your blood sugar or raises it? I don't know. I have no idea. No clue. I don't even know what sugar is. It's amazing how much I don't know that's not. I don't know so much stuff, dude. I don't even understand periods still straight up periods. Yeah, I don't really get it. It's not blood. I don't believe it's walls. They say it's walls. Look, the doctors have no idea what comes out of a woman's pussy.

They there's all these fluids leaking out there. They're talking like, you know, it's fucking water. There's white stuff sometimes. We just don't have a name for this fluid. Yeah, it's a white thing. Yeah, discharge. Yeah, they're like it's it's well. It's not calm and it's not pee. It's like, okay, maybe it's a girl specific fluid. The doctors haven't even said what squirting is yet. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. There's no that's literally the point I'm making. Well, there's a lot of different fluids that come out. Okay. It is pee. It is it? Is it? Sometimes sometimes it fucking smells like pee. Yeah. Yeah, it's pee. It's yellow. It's delicious. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever drank pee? No, no, I can't say

that I have not even one time. No, no, they're fine. Cool. So I thought you were going to say yeah to fit in because you're with two cool older got kids. I'm like, yeah, totally I drink. Yeah, I drink you all drink pee me too. And then we would have been like fucking you loser. Not at all. Just feel cool to be on the Adam Friedland show on the on the lymphoma episode, the lymphoma elf bar episode. Yeah, everybody's sick and tired. Tell us more about these punk rock lesbians. Oh, right. The lesbians. Yeah, we're getting back to the lesbians. So you're telling us this story before the show is very good. We should probably save it for the show. So it'd be like the first time we heard anything. Get our real

responses. But I didn't know it was going to get so good. Yeah, so I used to live with these two lesbians, like a couple. And I was giving them money for the electricity. And they were taking my money. And my other room, Ira, this is like four year old black dude does comedy in your old black. He's a four year old black guy. I thought you said there was a four year old black guy with a Jewish man's name that did comedy in Minneapolis. Yeah, yeah. What's up? My name is Ira. Is that what was that what humongous? That's what humongous. I didn't know this whole time. So I was waiting for that's what humongous is a four year old black man with a Jewish guy's name. Anyway, so yeah, so they were

taking your money and Ira's money. Yeah. And spending it on booze and drug, whatever they were spending it on. Dental dams and sure. Yeah. Renting Nantat over and over. Tarps for all the for all the squirting and stuff. Hospital bills for when they beat the hell out of each other. Yeah, they used to they used to rassle up there. Yeah, I mean, domestic abuse rates among lesbians is really high. They were fighting all the time. Yeah, they're like worse than cops. Is that true? Yeah, no way. Can you imagine dating? That's no way. You're getting you're waking up to just a fist just every no alarm clock. You're just getting punched in the face every single fucking day. Yeah, he went to he said he went

to a wedding for two lesbian for two lesbian cops. Oh, my God, dude. Can't imagine what that home life is like. Were they like into Punisher stuff? You know, they call that is is I don't know. Janet Reno 911. Thanks. Sorry. Make an eye to that. That was pretty uh, yeah. Just Janet Reno is a famously ugly woman. People said we're some sort of lesbian from the from the Clinton administration. Yeah, you don't remember Clinton at all. You weren't laughing. No, that was like before my time. It was it was pretty sick. That's the thing about life. You just keep getting older and then you turn into a guy with dated right. Remember, remember, I remember being like 22 and there'd be like older comedians

that would be talking about like Charles in charge. Yeah, I'd be like, what are you doing? Why are you talking about Scott Bay? You're gay. You're gay and that's not funny to bring up. Yeah, that's us and I'm everything out of my mouth is like Jenny Jones. Yeah, we're like, yeah, fucking. Yeah, I'm talking about rude Jude still. I still make rude Jude references. What are you? Ellie and Gonzales. Yeah, remember El Nino? Yes, talking about El Nino, my boy, the names you just list. I'm lost El Nino. No, well here in the weather was different. They're like it's because of El Nino. Nino supposedly shouldn't have gone away. It's just people just don't talk about it. Yeah, there's an El Nino every couple years. Yeah,

but you just don't talk about it. That was like a huge thing. What was it? It was hotter outside. It was more it's rain or something. It was rainier. They're like it's El Nino. Yeah, but we're like there's a new thing. How long ago was this in the 90s, bro? You don't know any of this crap. No, no, no, the president got a blow job. Yeah, I mean, I know that, but that's from documentary. We're going to tell you right. You want to talk about it? We didn't start the fire, dude. We didn't start the fire. That's right, brother. The world's been burning since it's fucking started turning. Yeah, we're some other dated references that we can say. Spice, Spice World, Spice Girls. You remember them? I know the

Spice Girls. Yeah, the Macarena, the Macarena. Yeah, plenty of weddings. Okay, all right. They're doing Macarena at lesbians. You can exchange. I fucking love you so much. I love you, bitch. I love you too, bitch. I can't wait to fuck later. They have to put so much like emphasis on it because it's just because it's just third base. Yeah, they're just fucking wrestling. Yeah, fuck. Were they big guys? Because the one was the one was a big big cool. I thought that we got here. Just roll it through. Remember that? Remember? Yeah, or was it Timon? I don't remember which one was it. I think it was Timon. You remember Sham Wow? Yes. Yeah, I do. That was 2000s. Yeah, he was a kid for Sham Wow. Sham Wow.

That guy beat up punch the hooker. Yeah, well, he got his ass beat by a hooker. His tongue. Yeah, Tybo Billy blanks. You don't remember Tybo. I don't think I do. There used to be a workout craze. It was just karate. It was black guy. It was just a black guy that was teaching like fat women karate. No, we call Tybo. Yeah, there was Billy blanks. Who's a jack black? This is pretty cool. This is like a VHS tape. Yeah, he saw his tapes for $57.99 three easy payments. It's a pretty good deal. And he's like, I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna teach you karate winning in the cash flow business. I remember my favorite infomercial. There was this like weird guy with this like pristine goatee. Yeah, it would like there

was some infomercial for like just a capill that makes you shit normal. Billy Mays. No, it was oxy clean. That was oxy. Yeah, but it was this guy with this fucking little goatee. And he'd be like, you know, he's like, he's like, I would help my little girl, my daughter go to the bathroom. And I remember looking at her feces. And it was like, how is this massive turd coming out of such a beautiful little world? And I thought something was wrong with her. But she's the one that's right. I'm my I'm shitting too small. So I'm thinking like, how much shit is left in my ass? And they set it up like he's on the news, you know, it's like an infomercial. So it's like a yeah, it's like, yeah, right. I've seen

those. And it was like, yeah, for some like pill. And I can't remember any of the details other than I'm like, Oh, it's the feces guy. That would come on. He would talk about his dog. Wait, so what it was a pill that would make your shit bigger. Yeah, make your shit bigger. Yeah. When was that? I don't know, man. No, the 90s. You stay up, you stay up watching network television after fucking shit, dude, after like, like 11 p.m. It's just infomercials until 5am. Jesus. Yeah, I do remember there was nothing to do. So you would just sit there and watch infomercials. Yeah, who you miss the Atlanta Olympics 1996. Dude, I'm gonna go watch Richard Jewel when I get home. It's a great movie. It's so fun. You

know, there was a bombing. Oh, the one that grew. What the fuck Richard. Yeah, but the guy in Granterino Clint Eastwood did the movie about him. Yeah, that's a good movie. It's amazing. It's a really good movie. Yeah, it's it's about a man who just got swept up in an innocent man. John have such a piece of shit in that movie. He's really good at just playing. I told you, I saw him. I told you, I saw him. We ate me and my girlfriend at dinner at the bar. He was he was sitting right there. And she got she's so annoying when I get excited about things. I was like, it's start squirting. It's done. She starts releasing. No, I was I was the one squirting. I was like coming out of her pussy. No, she

doesn't. She doesn't. I was like, I was like, it's done. I was like, it's really him. She's like shot up and he can hear us. I was like, I'm whispering. He's like, I can fucking hear you right now. I can fucking hear you can hear everything you're saying. He's so cool. It's easy. He looks great. Yeah, he's all out. He's so cool. He's flesh now. They brought back flesh. Oh, dude. Yeah. A movie that never needed to be brought back. So Adam, what are you doing this weekend? Oh, by the way, I'll be at McGoobie's all this weekend. I tried to cancel the shows because the ticket sales are once again abysmal. Why? I don't know. I think it's just it's just a bad market. Baltimore, Timonium, Maryland. Yeah, Timonium.

But isn't there like a big Baltimore market? Yeah, for comedy, for come top. I don't know. We talked about Maryland a lot on the old show, but that was always stop things. I was always branding this as a as a mid Atlantic show. Yeah. Yeah, I try to make it. This is now just as a Jewish Las Vegas show. Yeah, Las Vegas kid. Las Vegas kid. Adams Jewish of the King of Las Vegas. That's not true. Anyway, so so these lesbians, they were stealing your money right back to Las Vegas. Let's let's let's let's get to the bottom of this. They were taking so cocoa and ding bad are still in your right. Yeah. So they've taken our electric money using it to buy whatever and then our electricity just continually

keeps getting shut off for like days of time. So I finally just move out and they start sending me like you always 200 bucks. You always like 150 bucks. They never had the same numbers. And then they left me alone for like a year. And then like recently they must have gotten strapped for cash because they started harassing me even harder. They started showing up to shows with like this ringleader lesbian. Yeah, like got me into the apartment. I got a circus. Anytime you hear a bunch of keys on a carabiner, you start getting PTSD. A little bit. Yeah. That's scary, man. I'm sorry. Wait, so the ring who's the ringleader described just describe this gal, the key ringleader. She's this big lesbian

walks around with a cane. She's fat. You know, she's got a cane. Well, yeah, she's big. She needs a cane. Yeah. And kind of like the what's that guy for that band from the nineties? Popper. John Popper. Yeah. Blues Traveler. Blues Traveler. Oh, that's a damn good band. Oh, so you know a lot about our culture. Blues Traveler's been around. But didn't you have a cane? If you want to go real, like you didn't do. Are you a Delamitri fan? No. Okay. Screaming trees. No. Dishwalla. No. See, these are the those those are the nineties references. I don't even I wasn't even. No, because you were like hanging out with older kids. Yeah. Well, you're like seven hanging out with like 19 year olds smoking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Smoking six and

Norman Wilkerson spitting on the ground. They normally work as a hangout when I was in fourth grade. He was 57 years old. Norman Wilkerson will be featuring this week. Dude, I got a stack. I'm getting bringing it all the wise acres. This is me a wise acres reunion this week. Who is this you Norman? I got Andy Klein coming through. I got Rob Mayer coming. Wow. Trying to get Tim Miller to come out. Wow. The deep cuts. I want Basil White. I want Tom Flood. Was that the guy the silent guy? Tom Flood was severely like that. Like the old school autism that somehow doesn't exist anymore. We just like we genus. We quietly genocided actual autistic people. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's just now it's like hot women

with 300,000 Instagram followers are like, I'm autistic. Yeah. It's like, no, no, you're not. You have a job. You have your own apartment. You're not pushing. I'm severely autistic. Yeah. Yeah. You're not actually fucking retarded fucking toaster. Yeah. Tom Flood. Yeah. Tom Flood. He pushed carts at like shoppers food warehouse somewhere off route seven. And he maybe maybe is a safe way. His acts was like local news. He would do that. Yeah. I mean, it was nonsense. It's like, you know, you couldn't really communicate with him. He'd see you and the first time he met you, he'd ask you your birthday and then every time I saw you, it was just like battle off celebrities that also had your birthday and what was happening

the exact day that you were born. He could tell you the temperature. What the weather was in northern Virginia. He was obsessed with with Alman X local news. Oh, local news. And yeah, one time he went on stage and fucking, you know, some open mic, you know, three minutes, but they would just let Tom do whatever he wanted. And fucking Tom goes on stage. I've already told this. So, well, not on this podcast. Yeah, we have a new audience. Yeah, that is weird. There's people that did never listen to come town that are like, what's this Adam Friedland show? Yeah, they're into it. Giving it a shot. Yeah. I met one on the wedding. Really? Yeah. He said, my boys are, they didn't even know what come down. They like this crap.

Yeah. Well, you change the brand. Yeah, it's better. Anyways, we're gonna change the name next week too. Oh, shit. We'll pick up a Tom flood in a minute and then we'll finish the lesbian story after we talk about bluetooth.com. Okay, so bluetooth.com. If you love, do you like sex? Love it. Well, then you'll love it. Bluetooth.com. Bluetooth is a chewable tablet. And they got generic versions of Viagra, Cialis and LaVitra. LaVitra. I love LaVitra. I don't even know what LaVitra was. I'm gonna take LaVitra. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What is it? Yeah. Well, I, it's named after this woman. Yeah. LaVitra Jackson. Yeah. She invented. She's like, y'all, y'all dicks don't work. Y'all dicks too soft. I'm getting in the lab.

I'm making something. I'm gonna get your dick hard. I'm gonna fix you up. Yeah. She worked at Pfizer baby. Let me get you right. Yeah, right. LaVitra is on to LaVitra. Yeah. But yeah, they're, they're, they're chewable tablets. It's subscription. You don't get them every month. You take them and they get your dick nice and hard. So let's say you're out on the town with your fellas getting too drunk. You know, you're wasted, but then there's a hottie at the bar and she grabs your dick. She's like, what's that? And you're like, oh, I was, I was doing coke also. I'm not only drunk, but I'm also on coke. And I'm gay. And I'm gay. And I'm gay. No. And I'm mad at him and I'm gay. And, and the doctor

said that it barely counts as a penis. Anyway, you could consider this a golden ticket out of that awful situation. You take a blue shoe, chewable tablet and it'll make your head and ears very hot, but it'll make your dick hard. How long does it take to kick in? It's like 15 minutes because there's three different medications. So it depends on the one you get. The one that's like, see Alice is like literally 36 hours. You're not hard the whole time, but you can like get rock hard. After a show in Minneapolis, like gave me a dick pill and he was like, I'm not shitting you. Your dick will grow in size. He's like, take this. And, but he was saying it was the fucking African guy for my heart. Huckabee's. Yeah.

This is seven. The coincidence guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen that movie in a while. I loved it in high school. Yeah. It's a movie. If you're like a pseudo, I was 17. I was like, this movie's this movie rocks. Yeah. I remember watching that. I'm like, yeah, I get it. Yeah, I get this. I fucking get this. I'm smart enough for this. I get this movie because I'm an artist. All right. Anyway, so you go to this website. Listen, here's your question. And probably you're like, I don't want to fucking go to a doctor and tell him my dick is like, yeah,

because the doctor's going to laugh at me and be an asshole to me. I don't want to go to the fucking pharmacy. Now the pharmacist laughing me and be like, oh, your dick sucks and stuff. You get to go online. You get to come for your home. Me with one of their online medical professionals, they write you the damn thing. They send it straight to your house in discreet packaging. No awkward visits to the doctor. No awkward visits to the pharmacy. Just getting your dick hard from the computer straight to the mail straight to the mail straight to your mouth, straight to your dick, straight to the pussy. That's good, Nick. Yeah, they should consider using that in their copy fucking poor micro scene, dude. Why? Well,

he had a Chicago show tonight. And I guess Lincoln Lodge or something, but his fucking flight got delayed. And now he is like cancel the show. She's not going to make the poor guy. Man, that guy, it's just it's wild. How like how bad his luck is. He has the fucking worse luck. He has really bad. It's fucking insane. He's got that perpetual bad luck. Yeah, it's goddamn. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, and he's got these fucking lesbians falling around the lesbians falling around. But Mike Racine's a very fucking good comedian. And he's a fantastic having like fly to Chicago for a fucking one night or that like, you know, gets fucking canceled anyways, because of Delta. I wonder what happened. They beat up another Chinese

guy. They beat him up. Forget about that. Yeah, he was united. I can't remember which one. Was it the doctor, the Chinese doctor? Yeah. Anyways, just let's finish this. Is it come down or taps come down or taps? It's either come town, come town 20 or the Adam Friedland show or TAFS or TAFS 20. So try them all out. You got plenty of time. You got plenty of time to try them all out. You go online. You get blue shoe.com. Your life is changed forever. Okay, blue shoe.com. Let's go back to let's go back to this. This is a great story that I was telling us before the show. Yeah, so the ringleader, the lesbian with

the cane. Does she have a top hat kind of like a kind of like a circus? I think she wears a bandana because she had cancer. So I think she was doing a bandana thing for a little while. The Midwest is fucked up, dude. She used to run this mic at a cafe that had no microphone, but you get a $10 food credit. So you do have to eat. Yeah. So that's how I got linked up with these lesbians in the first place. They were there to eat for free. I was there to eat there for free. She was like, if we just start doing comedy, we can. Yeah, we can fund our macaroni and she she's in pussy eating habit. Yeah. Yeah. The menu says macaroni and cheese and carpet. Right. Yeah. Box and macaroni and cheese box

monster. You're like, is it? Does this mean the box of macaroni and cheese? They're like, isn't that Billy Bob Thornton's band's name, the box munchers? No, is it? There's a band? Yeah, the box munchers. Is that there's a clip of that rules being interviewed on some like radio show and the host goes, um, so you're like really passionate about music. And then Billy Bob Thornton is like, well, fuck, would you ask me that question? He's like, would you ask fucking Tom Petty that fucking question? And he's like just being a dick about it. And he's like, no, but he's Tom Petty. You know, it's like you're a famous actor. Yeah, you're already successful. It's your side gig. Right. Exactly. It's not even

a side gig. You probably don't even make money. Like I fucking grew up playing fucking music. I mean, the whole thing too is probably at the time he was probably method acting for bad Santa. Yeah, he was still acting. He was being a bad Santa in the interview. He's still just being very good at the thing that he's very good at. He's being a bad Santa. Yeah. A plumber once told me he knew the guy that cured, uh, he knew the Indian that cured Billy Bob Thornton's cancer. Really? I didn't even know Billy Bob Thornton had cancer. Native American? Yeah. And they, sorry, Native American. Well, no, it was like, it was like he went to like a sweat lodge or something. I can't believe that. They don't even know

how to cut hair. They don't even understand saddle technology. Yeah. Wait, so what, so he knew the guy and he was just like, yeah, he said that there was this, uh, this Indian doctor in I think northern Minnesota, northern Wisconsin that helped his wife's bone cancer go into remission. And he was like, and he cured Billy Bob Thornton's cancer. Wow. Yeah. And it's real. Allegedly. But the dude, he and I were fitting pipes with all the windows shut and he doesn't wear shoes to work. He wears flip flops. So he was fitting with the greatest. Oh, I thought you meant laying pipe. No, I had a construction job. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you were talking about, I wasn't talking about you and this flip flop guy, double team

and some, right? Let's be, we're going to have, we're going to have micro scene back on the show. And, uh, and you next time he has a fucking date, you guys need to buy tickets and he needs to sell out the more this micro scene only selling fucking 60 tickets in fucking Chicago bullshit. Yeah. So that's how you get mad also. I'm fucking pissed dude. Yeah. You can be mad too. He's not doing well, dude. He's gained hundreds of pounds. Yeah. And most of those people that bought the tickets are protesters. Yeah. Yeah. Anti-Italian anti Italian protest. They think he's, they think he's Andrew Cuomo. Yeah. They got the wrong guy yet again. Another, another case of mistaken identity brothers doing that. Cuomo did the

Chris Cuomo is on some fake news. He's on like some like Channel one thousand four hundred and eighty six. Yeah. Is a show called or whatever. Yeah. He's on. He's on one America News. That's it. Yeah. Is that what it is? No, that one's like the one that's like more right wing than what's the guy's name is like like like a Dirk Berg or fucking is like it's like shime crap. He's got some like weird German name. Yeah. And then he just gets like livid and he'll find like a week. He gets pissed off. It'd be like a zero follower account and be like, it'll just say Donald Trump's gay and it'll be like, no, he's fucking not. He's not. And I dare you to say that to my fucking face. It's like, dude. Yeah, they'll

try to link us to like what liberals are doing. What's the problem? I gotta find this guy again. It's not. There's there's that other guy who's Twitter is very funny. Yeah, but it's not him. It's it's someone else. No, it's because like all the people on one America News, none of them were journalists. Right. They're like real estate agents that got into fucking who's like Facebook lives would pop off during the election. They'd be like, I'm fucking sick and tired. Like there is like we heard you had 300 views on Facebook live. Here's the television show. Here's the thing. You really popped off on that CVS employee for trying to make you real America with Dan Ball in focus with Addison Smith and tipping point

tipping point. Yeah, Steve Bannon, Steve Bannon's no show. He's got a show. The channel ran a special titled Betrayal at Benghazi, the cost of Hillary Clinton's dereliction and greed, the cost of Hillary Clinton, even just naming things they can't do. They're like, Hey, what should we call this Benghazi special? How about Betrayal at Benghazi colon the cost of Hillary Clinton's dereliction and greed? That's a great that's a great title for this fucking. And then what are you supposed to do be at work being like, Hey, last night, did you catch Betrayal at Benghazi cost of Hillary Clinton's dereliction and greed? No, I didn't. Really? The next time you should make sure DVR Betrayal at Benghazi the cost

of Hillary Clinton's dereliction and greed. I'm sure it's pretty good. Yeah, I gotta find this fucking guy's name though. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's your show. It's true. Wait, Cuomo just had someone on though. I saw a clip of his show on TV or on like Instagram or something. Cuomo had like a big get on his fucking. Oh, Mike just text me. What do you say? I really appreciate you guys coming on the show. So what the fuck happens that he's just in Chicago. Look, this is going up tonight. Is he there? This is going up tonight. If you're in Chicago, fucking hit up Microsine and take this motherfucker out to dinner. If his show got canceled. You have to you have to somebody has to do some life is gay life is gay dude. Wait, what was

I looking for? I was looking for Cuomo that Cuomo thing. Yeah, he's just had. Yeah, he's back on like a sorry. Excuse me. You want to talk more about those lesbians? Oh, don't put it on Aiden to run the show. I'm just trying to find this clip, dude. I'm trying to find this clip. Tell me I'm producing. Tell me what you want me to find. No, you're looking for something else. No, I can do both, dude. Oh, it's called news nation. The thing he's on and his show is called Cuomo. What's it on? I've never heard of that station. Yeah, it's like, uh, yeah, like some like, uh, I don't know, Soros backed propaganda. Yeah, what's this fucking is like? Shime turd. That's like his last name is the name of the show.

Yeah. It's like, yeah. Shime turd nation. Yeah, it's something. Shime turd country guy's name, dude. Why can't I remember it? It's like Glenn something, right? Wait. So two years ago, these lesbians started showing up to your shows in Minneapolis. No, this was like this summer. This summer. Yeah, this past summer. Yeah, I lived with them a year ago, and then they then they enacted what like a smear campaign against you. Yeah, pretty much. They started showing up to the shows and basically just like cornering me and being like you owe us money. You need to pay either 150 or 200. You owe us the money and I'm like avoiding them and then I get a call from the angrier of the two, the actual lesbian and she was

like, I didn't have her number saved. So I get this phone call. I'm like, hello. And she's like, what's up, Aiden, you little fucking bitch. It's a I almost said her name. It's so and so and she's like you always fucking three thousand dollars. I'm going to slash you. I'm like, whoa, like I'm going to slash your tire. Slash your tires. I'm like, you don't give me three thousand dollars. So they upped it to three grand now. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck? And she just hangs up the phone and then she makes this big long Facebook post about Aiden McCluskey. I think she at one point she called me a scheister. Oh, anti-Semite. Yeah. You know, you're a famous Irish. I'm an Irish guy. Yeah. But

I know it was like, I'm very red in the face. Yeah. She makes this or they, but yeah, but it's only with that time of the month. It's blood the question mark is blood maybe or the walls of something that's inside of a whatever it is. Yeah. Is it the pussy walls? You know what? I think it's the back wall. It's their back wall. Honestly, I think it's actually feces. That makes more sense. It's a type of feces in the same way that squirt is P menstrual fluid is just feces. It's poop. Yeah. Squirt is P. Yeah. Period is poop. That makes sense. We'll spread that around elementary schools around the bottom of it all. Yeah. And that is what Governor DeSantis wants us to teach our children coming up

on crap muller. This guy fucking this guy said Donald Trump's son. Fuck you, pal. How dare you fucking say that to the fucking president, the rightful president? Yeah, I love, I love his, um, his letterhead for his like his memos that he does that like it basically looks like the presidential seal. It's like from the desk of Donald J. Trump, former president, you know, like whatever, but it just like looks like it's official presidential letterhead. Yeah. Yeah. We're all going to have to vote for Donald Trump. We're going to have to register as Republican against DeSantis. He cannot become president. He's not a good guy. No, Ron DeSantis. Yeah, no, we got to have Donald Trump. Yeah, as the Republican candidate. Yeah.

I mean, even for just for show business sake, yeah, it's gonna be just gonna be better television. DeSantis just being mean to mind. Although what we learned though in the, the Pennsylvania election is that if one guy is having his mentally impaired and the other guys being mean to him about it, it kind of does backfire a little bit. So DeSantis is going to be mean to old told sleepy. I don't, I don't think regular folks will take kindly to that. They'll be like, I'm retarded to you shouldn't be mean to me. You shouldn't be mean to Biden. We're both, we both have the same. You can't, you can't, you can't just, I just feel bad for buying a little here ago. This is the dark Adam Friedland

show and oh, and nights with Chris Boyle and it's Adam. It's dark Adam. Wow. We got to get Chris Boyle on. Wow. That's me. That's me if my life is our world, Adam. Yeah. Let's hear what he sounds like. Shelbyville. Holy shit. Let's see. Let's hear what he sounds like. Yeah. Put them on news media that's been tearing our country apart. Then join me. Dan ball week nights on one America news. Dan ball. I'm a proud Patriot with over 20. I'm Steve suck. I'm Steve come and I'm the host of real news. He's a proud. They just have to say real all the time. That is actual. Yeah, it's news. We promise. This is actual television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is real news. When you click on Chris Boyle to bait

and switch, it goes to the fucking the Dan Bolshevik host of the new show nights with Chris Boyle only available for this video on demand a half hour taking a sneak peek behind the headlines featuring relaxed in depth conversations. That's how I would do it. Culture and politics today. I would do a relaxed. We pull up some YouTubes of this guy. What's his name? Chris Boyle. Oh, and let's see. Let's see what this guy's glasses off. That's what I would be doing. Very natural. Yeah, that's what I would be relaxed. That's what it looks like when a normal guy takes his glasses off. That's what I would do if I was on conservative with Addison. What's the name? Weekly briefing with Chanel, Rihanna.

Adam, keep talking. All right. No, no, I'm getting this vid. Just tell me what to look up. Look up of this. Oh, shit. It's a video of Chris Boyle interviewing. Yeah, I guess they only have seven shows. Yeah, dude, but they just keep them raw. Is the rest of the time? Oh, you think? I don't know, dude. What's the fucking? What's that Glenn Crapmuller show, dude? Why can't I fucking remember? Crapmuller. Yeah, that's how you grope. That's a Wisconsin sounding name. Crapmuller. Absolutely. Yeah, they all got weird. Yeah, like that out there. Oh, over at a Glenn Crapmuller's. We had over at the Crapmuller's house. Oh, the Crapmuller's had the good Halloween candy this year. Oh, the Crapmuller's. Yeah, and they, they, you

know, they, they just, they ride around town thinking they're better than everyone else because because Mr. Crapmuller's an orthodontist. Just judging everyone. Mr. Crapmuller an orthodontist. I'm trying to think we just got a dentist's office. Oh, nice. Yeah. In your town. Yeah. Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many. They have lesbians in Mung, but they don't have fucking dentistry. They have lesbians scoundrels from what it sounds like. Wait, let's let go, but let's go back to the story. So they hit you up. They say you owe me three. The number is now three thousand dollars. If I don't get it, I'm going to trash your shit, slash your tires and people to your house, send lesb, send

lesbians, like ninjas to my house, to your house, so to attack you. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's so funny to have that as a group of enemies. I know I was like trying. Everyone I explained it to they're like like lesbians and I'm like yeah. Well, it's like you are like a me kind of fellow, right? It's like we could like, you know, we look like maybe like we're on tea or something like we're like a girl that's like right. Yeah. Transitioning a little bit or something. There was someone that came in the green room in San Francisco and said ma'am and he said what I was wondering who the transgender person in all the pictures was you about me and I just had to sit there and I was like, yep, yep. Yeah, sure. Wait,

so they said this. They made all these threats and you try to try to take out a restraining order. So they make all these threats and then they start sending fucking. I start getting just piles of DMs from people being like, hey, piece of shit, you need to pay them your money because you're because wait, but the Facebook post said that you were like anti lesbian or something. I'm not an ally. You're not being an ally. Basically fucking over this poor lesbian couple who's just trying to make it in the big city. Yeah. And Minneapolis of Minneapolis and I'm this comedian with a shit eating grin who's just stealing three thousand dollars from them. The number is now three thousand dollars. Right. A power

bill would never be three thousand dollars. Right. That's like if you don't pay your electric for five years forever forever. Yeah. Yeah. They fucking create this go fund me paid with my picture on the go for me. Be like this piece of shit. Well, refuses to pay us our money and it's hurting our credit, which like to begin with can't be good. You know, two fucking lesbians in a failed band. They can't be good. And so they make the Facebook post. They make the go fund me. I start getting harassed through these DMs. What's going on with the with the eight year old comedian or the four year old four year old Ira. He's also getting harassed, but he they're kind of leaving him out of it because he's black.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what it's tougher to go hard to go after because I mean on the totem pole. He's a little above that. You're a straight white man and I'm at the bottom. You're straight white man. I've got nothing. Yeah. So they chose me to go after. Yeah. So I get all these Facebook posts and shit. And then I call a lawyer and I'm like, ask him what I should do. And then after I get all this advice, I'm like, can I make an Instagram post mocking them? And they were like, that would almost if you cover up all their names, that would almost be the best thing you could do. A lawyer said this. Yeah. So I was like, perfect. So I screen shot all you got back at them. Yep. And I take you were sick of you were

sick of getting the abuse. You're like, I'm going to turn the tables on these abusers. That's right. Yeah. This is like this is like a new story that they would have on. Oh, yeah. This is like straight white man gets about how difficult it is to be a straight. All around this country. Gangs of lesbian women are harassing harassing innocent, innocent Minneapolis based comedians. And then she one of the threats she uses is she says she knows Melissa Kerry, Jim Carrey's ex-wife as of 1996 and she's like, that's a big fucking deal. So she starts throwing my name around the Melissa Kerry and Melissa's like, we'll get this solve. No way. Yeah. She's in the gang now. Yeah. Melissa Kerry is in the gang.

She's in the lesbian gang now. That's right. Wow. I'll find she's like, she's like, if you don't fucking pay, I'm going to get Jim Carrey's ex-wife now lesbian. So she makes this Facebook post and one of the commenters is Melissa Kerry and she sends me a screenshot and says, she's like, you know, you're in for it. Yeah. She's Jim Carrey's ex-wife. She goes, Melissa Kerry, that's Jim Carrey's ex-wife. Yeah. The comedian, the mask. Maybe you've heard of that movie. No way. No way. No way. The mask. Maybe you've heard of this movie. And then she said, send your portion or this will continue and I will not stop. Let me know when you do. Thank you. Oh, and I'm serious and then pose sends me after she

gets the restraining restraining order. Lol. Thanks for making our lives easier. You're dumb. Hey, can you tell the cops? I need one. Tell them about how we paid your gas electric bill. God bless and then sends me a Google image of her in fortune. Femster for some reason, the comedian. Yeah. What? That's that's the extorter. Yeah. Why in fortune? Femster? Well, if you read the whole Melissa Kerry text, she's like, oh, and I actually know a bunch of comedians. Fortune Femster just did act me. Probably not familiar with her. She's way above your skill set. It's like, I don't. Yeah. Okay. Melissa Kerry and Fortune Femster. I'm on their shit list. Dude, you're fucked. I'm fucked, dude. You're literally

fucked. So that. Yeah. Once they once they drop Ellen, you're done looking out. You're done, dude. You got to change your name. You got to move down to Mexico. I got to go into the monk community. You got to go. They will come. They will protect and they'll help me. They will protect you. I'll bring some vape juice from your body and be like he's got a fucking store room of it. He's not allowed to sell it anymore. Perfect. I'll bring it over to them and be like guys. I think the FDA was asking my friend that he was they were saying like we want to see you destroy it. No way. Yeah, they want to have someone watch him destroy all of his vape juice. Insane. Did he at least make his money from

there? Like, come on, bro. They're like, come on. Just let us sell this poison. We're giving live for many kids. That's got him real nervous. Yeah, he's annoying, dude. Nick's on the phone in the hallway right now. So I can talk shit. But yeah, he's mad annoying, dude. My allergies. Shut up, bro. Shut up. Shut up. You can't just decide that you have some sort of you can just be actually sick or not sick. Anyway, you got me a little nervous about the lymphoma to be honest. Well, yeah, I'm sorry about that. I feel bad if I got you nervous because you're a new friend. But like, it's an like you said, it's anecdotal. I mean, what else was she doing that led to the lymphoma can't just be vaping, right? How she was cheating.

It'll do it. God will give you that. Yeah, that makes sense. She was cheating and apparently being a real big slut about it. Well, she's paid in space. God. Yeah, that was a guy thing. Wasn't an alpha. Yeah, that's what she did. God. Right. God is a woman, obviously. And she's a huge fan of Melissa Carey and fortune. Forger Pemster, dude, is saying I'm fucked. So you're fucked. So I go to the court and I file this restraining or which the craziest thing about it is you can literally like I had to show zero proof, right? All my word could just be a nerd. Yeah, it could be a nerd who has a crush on you, right? You could be like, oh, I want to restrain. Yeah, I had to show no proof at all. I just had to write

my own words. What she said to me so you could just get anyone to stay away from you. Yeah, pretty much. That's the law. You simply have to lie. Wow, that's cool. So I go and then the clerk of courts when I like hand her the paperwork, she's like so trying to understand she's like you have a couple. And I was like, yeah, and she's like that you lived with. And I was like, yeah, she's like lesbian couple. And she's like, and from what I gather, they're extorting you. I was like, yes. And she you could obviously tell she's trying not to laugh in my face. Not like she's like it says here you want a court date and I'm like, yeah, absolutely want a court date. So when I get back, I think it's not going to take the fucking

abuse anymore. I'm done. You're fighting back. You're gonna laugh that you're gonna laugh that it's the play to the straight white man, dude. It is so hard tonight on the OAN tonight on freed land factor. There you go. Anyway, yeah, continue. So I think when I get back, I have the court case. I have to go to court. What are you gonna wear? Probably a baby blue suit jacket. I'm gonna really dress up, you know, oh like kind of 1950s. Yeah, I really want to rub it in their face and like you gotta dress nice. You gotta dress rich like you have the three thousand dollars, right? Yeah, money, power suit, briefcase, sleep, sleep back hair, blotting sweat off my head with a hundred dollar bill. That's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna represent yourself. Oh yeah. I mean, I have all the proof. It's not that hard to be a lawyer. No, I was pretty legal assistant for a few years and so was I really. It was my passion. That's really comedy really took me away from my passion of being a paralegal. How long were you paralegal? And that was like my job after college before I what sort of law made the last one I did was an all women's divorce law firm. Damn, and I was the only man that worked in the office. It was the best job I ever had. I bet it was it was so family laws and they were like reverse sexist because there was another paralegal that was a girl. I guess they were just regular sexist, but they'd be like they were all Jewish

women too. And they were like constantly go to the bathroom and the doctor just constantly just in and out. I'm going to the doctor. I'm going to the bathroom like announcing they're going to the bathroom, which is so really weird. Yeah. And then it was the office. It was time. It wasn't that big of a firm and then they were like they were like they go up to like me and they'd be like Adam. Do you know Microsoft Excel and they'd be like and they'd be like no. You're a guy. You wouldn't understand it and they'd be like and then they make the girl. They'd be like can you do this because Adam? He's a guy. He can't understand Excel. That's they like would reverse sexism. Right. They wouldn't

under. They thought that like right. So I got like I did not do shit. That makes sexism sound so tight. It was just like yeah. Oh you don't know how they were being sexist women for me. He's a dumb man. Yeah. You're so stupid as a man. Yeah. So then I just like be in the file room like reading people's divorce files. Isn't that shit crazy? It's crazy. It is like the most personal stuff that is like filed into court as evidence. It is like text messages like I'm you know. We've all said crazy shit during a break up. Yep. Yeah. And imagine like those being like put in as evidence. It's insane. Crazy. I remember one that I had to like organize for trial and in the woman's phone she had him

screen. She was a divorce firm as well. Yeah. It was like a family law thing. Family law. And they had or she had his contact information as sperm donor. Yeah. So I had to screenshot all of sperm donors text messages and organize them and then have her clarify that sperm donor is such and such person. So like when you go to the court they have to say like sperm donor is actually this person's name. Yeah. There were some celebrities really that were represented by my firm. Damn that I read there and one of them you know one of them was the last very famous last man. They did both of her divorces. Yeah. Yeah. Both of her divorces. Yeah. She got mad paper too. I didn't realize she had that much money.

Really. Damn. That's the thing you find out a lot and like I was a legal assistant in a small town. So like I was seeing these people out at bars and stuff. Oh shit. I know exactly what you're going through. I know your wife hit you in the head with a broom earlier this week. Like I know that should happen. I just have to pretend like it didn't. And you have to like it's crazy family. Family court is crazy because all that shit is the law has to like work its way through. Yeah. Just like people being monsters to each other. And at one point they got along enough to have kids and to get married and then they just fucking it all falls apart. Sad. And they just say the worst shit to each other tonight on Friedland

Factor the American family. Yeah. What has happened. What is Nick doing. He's on the phone right now. He's still in the middle of the phone in the middle of the show. I don't care. Actually I'm having well it is. Yeah it is my show. I'm having fun talking to it anyway but um wait so they laughed at you. You got the restraining order next week is court. Yeah I got court when I get back. Are you going to do the southern lawyer thing. Oh ladies and gentlemen of the genre. They're like there's no jury here. I'm being extorted by these two lesbians. I'm thinking you fill the entire gallery. I'd love to with Mung. These are my Mung brothers. Yeah you got it. You have to have like the frat pull up. You know what

I mean. You got to have like back like my uncle died last year and his his son is in college and his whole frat pulled up to the funeral to the funeral. They were all like standing in the back. All the brethren were standing in the back to like be there for their boy and for me I thought that was really powerful. You know the way and then and then they made a t-shirt for my uncle for when he was like fighting cancer and stuff like with this like quote from him and all the brethren were wearing the t-shirt. That's what's up standing in the back like stand holding it down for their boy. I was like that's true brotherhood so you got to get that with him. I'll get my face airbrushed

on a t-shirt. Hell yeah. And I'll make them among and in the back. I'll say team eight and team like you're like you're there a boxer. Yeah like team packing out. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Team Aiden. They're all in my corner because I got them the vape juice in the one side. Yeah we got to go. Okay. We got to go to New Haven Connecticut. We got to get all my boys vape juice. Bring it back. Give it to these among hook them up. Get them shirts. These lesbians are not going to know what they have no fucking idea. Go to the mall airbrush. That's right. Yeah. Our humongous good at like a match match stick match tricks. I don't know in my high school. Korean kids. I mean I don't know. I'm probably

that's just a different type of age and I understand but Korean kids were sick and match. I've ever heard it like match trick. Yeah. Just had a book of matches. Yeah. They do like fucking crazy shit with books. Really. Yeah. Yeah. Like I wonder if this is just a whatever though. All you know is that they like to vape. Do they drive? Do they drive all of those like do they drive like cars. Accuracy. Integra is Honda's. Yeah. With the cambered wheels. Yeah. They're like they like yeah like in imports. Yeah. Well as too fast too furious kind of shit. Yeah. As I've been told they're called rice cars but I wouldn't call them that. I would call them just but I would call them just cars. Just cars. Yeah.

But rice cars. They call them ricers. They're going to make them out of rice. Everybody gets with it. Why. Well come on. I mean this is where you need to know when they trickle them out because they're fucking Asian dude and that's what they eat over there. Everyone eats rice. Everyone reads eats rice. Yeah. I don't know the world people he writes why they say to just them chicken. What is this with chicken. Only black people like chicken. Everybody likes chicken and that aren't stereotypes that I think are bad tonight on Freeland Factor were my final thought. Everyone likes rice and everyone likes chickens. So you swung back around now you're on the this is like an MSNBC type. No it's just like you don't

know where I'm at. Oh one second wild car one second. I'm like the American family the lesbians need to be controlled one second. I'm like don't be racist. You know it's just you. Yeah it's like a Stossel thing. Yeah. Why John Stossel. I remember that guy. Yeah he swung both ways. You never knew which way John Stossel and I'd be bisexual. I'd be extra swinging both. Oh shit. They wouldn't know what to do with you. They really wouldn't know what to do. Fucking you would you don't know what comes next bro. No. Yeah whatever. How are we doing on this episode. Nick is gone guys. We're doing all right. Oh we're we're deep in the episode. We've done 20 extra minutes for the kids. Anyway guys here's Nick's

out of the room. Here's the update. The update is we're talking to talent bookers by the end of this week. Once that is in place then the talk show will be up or running. I think that we've learned a lot of lessons the last couple weeks and it is to some extent pretty funny that Nick and I publicly said that we knew how to make a television show but guess what folks we're learning how to make a television show and what we really appreciate is that you're with us by our side holding our hands rooting us on saying go Nikki go Adam. We love you. We appreciate your support. Thanks for listening. Thank you Aiden for being on the show. Anything you want to plug or anything like that. Thanks for having me. What time

is the court date. Oh maybe we get some of these fuckers. Maybe we get some of these fuckers at the courthouse. Yeah. Picket lines. There we go. Yeah. We need. I don't know when the court. Yeah. Like a circle with a cross like an X through but it has a box in the middle of it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll follow me. I'll post the court updates at AIDS man 109 got a phone and it's very funny. Stand up. I met him on Long Island. Nick initially met him in Minneapolis. He was he was featuring at me. He's a great guy. You got a big future ahead of you. Thanks dog. All right. Bye.