The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 016 – cha cha chilis

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Happy motherfuckin holidays folks. Enjoy and see ya in 23

what hold on no no hold on I already hit record we're going okay so we're going now folks welcome to the Adam Friedland show podcast it's the podcast what do you what do you got going on I have to post I'm posting this shit on the episode I'm posting a video of Gene DeNapoli not a video folks so this is gonna be this is this is probably this is the best way to do it so this is the Adam Friedland show podcast mm-hmm and you know I mean the goal here is to move away from podcasting this is gonna be like the after the walking dead my personal prediction that podcasting will not be a thing in another couple of

years well AI technology will take over for podcasting literally well people are gonna I'll tell you we're gonna have AI Joe Rogan defeat Rogan in the in the ratings nobody's gonna everybody's car is gonna get repossessed once the fucking you know the recession hits oh yeah so nobody's gonna be able to commute to work which is the only time people listen the podcast so we're gonna go back to active media which is why we need to make the pivot to a talk show as soon as possible because people look the old podcast you just be able to put it on you forget about it maybe you laugh once an hour you know but the highs were high

I personally was not even aware come down was a comedy show no this was news to us I felt it more to be philosophical people were kind of me I guess I didn't realize we were laughing at us and making psychological in a in a in a in intelligence eyes yeah cool as you can as you as your societal alright I'm done I'm ready sorry you're ready it is late night but anyway Thursday night December 27th I guess sort of so so overlining every cloud I went to go you know we have to do this I got to sell advertising for the podcast because a podcast should pay for you know we shouldn't just we gotta figure out how

to have our bases covered just in case and so I go to sell advertisements for next year and we have seen a 70% drop in listenership perhaps more maybe 90% that there is no one that actually listens to the podcast which means this show is entirely funded by either spite or the subject of someone who knows what the CIA is up to yeah I can't because it could be a sigh because all of the stuff that picked for my entire life or basically the last hundred years all the guys that were quote-unquote conspiracy theorists are like yeah the CIA they're doing have these mind control experiments and they got aliens and

yeah they're fucking kids for Satanism and then over the last couple years the CIA and you know that was true yeah they were like yeah of course of course we're doing that so they got to be whatever they're actually doing it's got to be unfathomable you know what I mean right and funding the stuff that hasn't yet I've just accepted that I'm probably some sort of conduit I'm some sort of conduit for the most evil people in government to sow chaos no in fact the exact opposite or to placate the masses to create and how many I'm not even really a chaotic guy I know you to be chaotic from time to time they may be

my personal life but in terms of it look I mean did anybody you know who had a mass shooter Chappell you never had a mass shooter come down yeah Chappell had a mass shooter yeah don't ever let anybody forget that Dillon Roof Dillon Roof was a Chappell no there was the Dayton guy wasn't there yeah yeah I remember what he was listening to a Christmas rant yeah he was listening popped off yeah he was listening to Matt what's going on your skits of running head just go into the bar and fucking shoot him up shoot him up everybody in that fucking bar is a gormless weasel a gormless he loves gormless Matt is a

good as a crepusculant gormless we as a gormless yeah yeah yeah it is in his apartment afterwards the police raided it and it was written on the wall died chud scum on the walls and did he yeah written in blood that's cool I'm looking up to ads we got for this for this week yeah I don't know but a big fuck use for never paying last year did everyone else settle up yeah and then so never never never buy that shit never buy this fucking never buy that shit I don't see they can send me a bunch of stuff they send me a bunch of stuff I threw it all out I threw all those clothes out I think you're wearing again or just to say

the second to last actually filled with calm yeah yeah exactly that's how that's what we think they're gonna wear all my clothes are like you were the pants every day there's the t-shirts the fucking dead people have brought to me yeah I could literally cannot take care of myself you were in that you were wearing that shirt that said it was like a is that Houston slippers on it yeah and I was like are you wearing a lean I mean drinking shirt I donated that shirt because I honestly this is how this is how this is as close as my heart gets to being charitable I was like black people would like this more than I imagine

some homeless black guy wearing it I'm like it's Christmas you're such a good guy what a good guy wearing a Houston lean shirt and I'm like yeah the Houston slippers I was like are you wearing a lean drinking shirt you're like I don't fucking know someone brought to a show but the looks kind of cool it was cool it looked like it was a Los Angeles Clippers logo some girl brought me a black Bart shirt I kept that that's cool that and then I wear the somebody brought me a shirt and they were like this was signed by all the legends the

barbecue legends and who are they I don't know it's on the back of the shirt but I wear it I was wearing it today the barbecue legends the legends of barbecue oh and like a Ray Bob's big boy Bob Evans Jimmy Dean god damn dude Oscar Meyer she's just giving you something like that for free yeah damn but no I mean I'm going back out on tour and yeah please and so am I I'm also going back out of clothing no I got to plug this is more important you have a new year's day I have forgotten to plug this date but I'm San Jose I thought it was just New Year's Eve but it's a full fucking weekend at the San Jose improv and we've

sold like 11% of the tickets so please New Year's Eve if you live in fucking San Jose I made the goddamn I made the fucking I don't know why I should look more at the deals that gets sent to me yeah I don't because it was a mistake to book some I thought I literally I thought it was one I thought it was one show on New Year's Eve how many shows it's five it's a full fucking weekend it's a 450 capacity you have to go to Cal if you're gonna say I probably lose money on the weekend all right anyway guys I will be Zanies and Rosemont which is Chicago area January 20th helium Philly January 26 to 28th Pittsburgh improv February

3rd 4th comedy connection in Providence Rhode Island February 23rd 25th Charlie Goodnights and Raleigh March 23rd 25th and Zanies Nashville March 31st April 1st and then we're announcing more dates they're putting my fucking boy pussy out on the stroll yeah I'm doing the same amount of data yeah I'm not gonna bother you with that just go to mall yeah mall dot dog slash live dash shows well if you're in those towns yeah those are the close ones but are there be a lot more and now it's out of freedom comm slash tour right you plugged all the dates and then I'll I gave him a website option yeah but if you give them the

website then what if the guy lives in fucking like South Dakota he's gonna go on the website you're wasting damn time all right just say say the cities all right and I said them fast dude I think the audience will appreciate how fast I did that okay all right back to the show there was something I wanted to what we were what did we want to talk about on the Adam Friedland show podcast we got to figure out what the podcast is because podcasting me a completely separate product because I tell you what I don't want to be podcasting yeah we've said that enough to our audience and maybe it upsets them but no but it fucking okay

hold on look I don't give a fuck whether that upsets the audience we're still making stuff and also a lot of stuff like we did a show for six fucking years like we want to you know like there's plenty of it yeah if you want to show go listen to it there's so much come town it was great it was great no no but yes absolutely we you know the products the the podcast can be a different product as it exists as that is the model but I mean I don't know this month has been we've been putting out shit video stuff that you couldn't get go fine on patreon.com slash tafs that I don't know if you're only a fan of the

Adam Friedland show podcast and you're unaware yeah so so you can go you can go check it out there I have no idea I have no idea who listens to any of it I don't know what is going on there's like 35 guys that have been listening to this show since the beginning they're pissed and they they are pissed well they they make a bunch of communities online and then the guys in the replies all the time and they just call you faggot over and over again yeah but it's like I mean there has to be more people that's what I mean it's like it's got to be just like the CIA is pumping they're just laundering money through patreon maybe

we have like a secret admirer gay billionaire David get David Geffen David Geffen yeah and he's just like giving you money for your little pet project because he wants to see you wants to see you happy but he'll never tell you that he's who he is or yeah I really don't understand how anything works I don't know at all you got like there's like two options you are like everybody has to move Brooklyn right you gotta move to Brooklyn everybody moves to Brooklyn oh my god it's like paradise and either you win the CIA money laundering lottery or you turn into a guy that also has a podcast that doesn't get any fucking

money matches mostly and then you're a Marxist and then you're going to do online Marxism long and I guess that's like maybe that's how it works and yeah and maybe they control the amount of money they identify the guys that are gonna be the Marxist dickheads mm-hmm and they give them less money to be like you know they're like oh yeah you're a loser if you think that is the bad audience is so we're the accidental beneficiary yeah yeah because I'm not reading a fucking book hell no I'm not reading if I read a book it's gonna be an illustrated novelization reverse novelization of master and commander oh

my god I'm not reading the original novels and it's gotta be illustrated I will watch it I will watch because you don't read graphic novels I watch I will watch a graphic novelization of master and commander then my Frank Miller yeah that'd be badass yeah I love that shit dude the fight like that genre of I guess it's just the watch man I don't know about comic books I don't know the comic book guys are like yeah this is actually it's actually for fucking grown-ups it's actually if you if you get pussy you're into this kind yeah watchman's it's commentary on society on fascism and and and look on look the

juice house yeah it needs you saw there's really nothing gayer than fucking caring about any that's I cannot imagine that is just the war I mean Bernie loss I'm just like I'm never gonna care about anything we're not a fixed lawn mower yeah I got that is infinitely more interesting yeah the guy that's fucking lying to YouTube's YouTube channel where you get vintage lawn mowers everything about fucking mailboxes yeah you're the guy you're the number one guy on mailboxes I'll list that guy all day long I rewatch Vernon Florida and that guy just describing fucking yeah different types of worms I love that

guy they got different kinds of wigglers up there they got a you know they call them forget the name Boston wigglers they got night callers too but they don't go around here and brought them down here I'm the only one that grown I I'm doing rewatching Vernon Florida I haven't seen that since college you learn it by doing you can't they don't got a book about it yeah actually they do got a book but I ain't gonna read it because you read it and everything in there is wrong you got to learn about doing it and I know that because I wrote the book on it that's cool yeah that guy's cool the gobbler the turkey guy the turkey guy

you know you just describing and the pines the planet pines they're uneven they go left and right and ain't in the straight line you see some walking through and I'm seeing them and I see that turkey way down maybe 25 yards and I know I can't get any closer doing so I raised the gun up for you slow drop probably sound like a a ton of bricks when he hit the ground and that's him right there probably 11 inch beard on that turkey next one I shot yeah he's so into that yeah turkeys are hideous they're one of the ugliest animals yeah it's really good yeah guys check out documentary film check out documentary

cinema if you like podcasts you're gonna love documentaries the thin blue line gates of heaven the thin blue penis the thin blue penis the it's about Elmo the sex scandal that rocked Sesame Street Dasha just taxing me what she say bro she said she enjoyed the new episode she liked it yeah that's it that's I yeah she's a famous actress she's huge she's on HBO was on HBO yeah she got fired she got fired she got fired for racism did she yeah just started rumored yeah her character I believe was irradiated by the Chernobyl disaster she yes okay it came out that it was implied that she had nuclear fallout cancer that she was

slowly dying from all season yeah she did I believe Dasha's character on succession is killed by James Bond is she not yes her character is her character is killed off when James Bond shoots her in the face mm-hmm after fucking well you know the first guy the first girl he always fucks is the one that he has to kill and then he gets pussy from the nice girl yes I'll be in Denver this weekend and I'm looking for pussy anyone knows I'm in Winston Salem North Carolina looking for hello everybody it's me James Bond just a quick social media update I'm here in Vancouver looking for some pussy perhaps if anyone

wants to come over and watch my movies and give pussy to eat edibles too close little too close not vague enough James Bond does now you are taking shots rather than just doing a subtle I think we've crossed that bridge what nothing what we're taking shots of James Bond dude we don't like colonialism but I'm doing what was it what's that thing supposed to be in the beginning is it a gun it's the barrel of a gun I always thought or camera why would it be a camera to let people know that it's a movie I don't know when I was a kid I always got it like taking a picture of James Bond and then James Bond's like

don't fucking take a picture of me that's so funny it's the inside of a penis scientists still don't know what the inside of the penis it is a penis hole yeah yeah with like a spiral yeah I would love that dude that's probably the inside of a spider's penis looks like well there's a gun so he shoots into the barrel of the other gun that's how good he is at shooting that's what it implies well no he shoots and then there's blood pours over the front of the gun there's blood that goes down the screen I get shot and he holds his own gun like this he goes oh he dies in a weird way like that

make it funny act out act out yeah I gotta get better at acting for the show because I got a we can't hire enough actors so I gotta play we're running out of budget we're running we're fucking please folks if you enjoy the Adam Friedland show podcast go support the Adam Friedland show at patreon.com slash tafs yeah many of you might not know that there's even more Adam Friedland show yeah on patreon.com it's a talk show in fact we have cold opens monologues intellectual conversations but our most recent episode had Jean de Naples yeah Jean de Napoli back on yes someone so I saw someone commented

somewhere they were like quote from Jean which I forgot about until I was editing last night with our editor and he said like Elvis I just want to do what's right for this country and yeah there there are a lot more choice yeah you kept quoting that line to me as if it's supposed to be funny but it's accurate no I mean the man is selfless Elvis was a veteran he loved his mother he did more to smooth over race relations in any of these these counterculture mm-hmm assholes yeah and it by he shook his dick yeah and ended racist I always said history is gonna look kindly on Elvis mark my words this

guy that guy's gonna be that guy's gonna be huge my words this guy this dude is the next dude he's the truth dude yeah he's the truth this dude is the guy to look out for is Elvis that's what's up that's what's up that's what's up that's what's up it's what's up but it's sexy it's what's up but it's sexy all right what do we got here let's let's do it we guys we got to take a break from the Adam Freeland podcast but not a break no no no no no what the fuck exists 1221 we got diet smoke this episode's brought to you want to go ahead and pull up the sponsor on your phone mr. Adam Freeland guys Adam Freeland this is this is gonna

be fucking amazing I'm about to blow your fucking mind there's a company called diet smoke and they got products like edibles they have what else joints no joints basically they're all the ways that you could have Delta 8 and Delta Delta 9 here at the Delta smoke without smoking them looking for pushy if anyone can give pushy to me so Delta 9 is they say THC for the daring a bolder experience for those seeking a more traditional buzz that's the kind of buzz you get from you know traditional THC products but then they have Delta 8 gummies which are a hundred percent hemp derived lab tested for potency and

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fucking they would have been Elvis yeah they could the people are gonna say they were gonna be the next over the Beatles oh my god don't let me start the Don Cheetles if the Beatles are called the Don Cheetles they would all still be alive and still be a big bad yeah I'm trying to find out what THC P is how about I always thought a better name for the band would have been John Lennon and the British boys yeah because it was confusing personally I just thought the name was confusing it should have been John Lennon and the British boys go ahead diet smoke I don't know THC P is some

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really takes it to another level and I know you guys love listening to podcast specifically the Adam Freeland show podcast so diet smoke makes the best anytime edible scientifically formulated for a perfectly balanced buzz lab test at 100% fed early legal THC and CBD delivered right to your door let's keep in touch okay for new customers if you give them your email or if you put in promo code come down come down to what come down 20 or could be TAFS or TA TAFS they're gonna give you a great fucking deal on your first order because they care about the customers and they care about the listeners of the Adam

Freeland show podcast so I think that's that no this is good to me as I was fucking yeah yeah should I try building models again like of what like a little plane or something my dad was real into it but you never became a ship in the bottle guy seems like you have that kind of personality I don't have a steady hand anymore my hands are fucked up now I don't have like I have like a real she do you have like a tremor I do was it from I don't know is it the shakes is it because you needed it you need one more beer yeah no I don't know I think it meant probably vaping or something or

too much coffee or yeah you consume a ton of caffeine your dad got into model planes and so he was always in there since he was a kid what does he do with them when he's done building it just puts in yeah puts in a little box and then in the garage puts it away yeah he did yeah I think he sold all of them in fact the Korean men and they were like this is a high quality product I don't know he just told the story about fucking Korean men buying all of his the model planes they call came in a passenger van it was like 15 Korean men really yeah they came the house no no this is 20 years ago they came to after

he moved out and had a storage facility that he had to liquidate they moved him at his they met him at the at the storage lock came and they came in a 15 passenger van a bunch of Korean men a bunch of model airplanes off and he he recounts this was like a sense of pride he recounts it in the same way he recounts everything else with just a completely flat effect and really no there's there's like a cloying sort of you know he's like oh great you know like all right I heard your family's dad you know he's like trying to not upset co-workers he's always his disposition is not trying to not get fired yeah yeah he

doesn't want to step on toes yeah but there's like a sadness underneath good to see you oh yeah a second plane hit the tower yeah oh yeah okay would you yeah would you get a load of that hmm yeah I'm gonna go see my dad three days time for the first time in South Africa you're going to South Africa go back to back to a Wakanda also by the way folks there will be there will be episodes for the rest of the year as long as we have ad contracts which looks like it's really there's only one more for the year 1228 okay never done so there'll be one more podcast episode but Adam's going out of town I'm going out of the country I'm

gonna see my grandmother next go to see his family well guess what that's what the holiday season is about guys is going to see your family and spend times times time with your loved ones what we would do on come down as we go to the cabin and this is I I will truly miss this because it was the highlight of the year cabin was a nice time I loved it there was that we would we all had a good time together doing eight episodes in a day there's a little there's a little something I'm a little sloppy so I'll tell you guys this we would never hang out me and you would yeah the three of us never fucking hang out

literally I mean maybe the maybe the first year of the show that happened and after that it was just it's just for pics yeah basically it was just for the press yeah unless you were on tour or at the cabin yeah it was always a fun time it was always a fun time I fondly recall a hotel room in Cleveland yeah where I laughed the hardest I've ever done honestly so that might have been the hardest I've ever been legitimately yeah I remember I was like my stomach was I was in pain yeah yeah what was that what's it I don't even remember her name I don't remember her name but laughing about some DC coming being being grope

to buy it like no just being confused by an Uber driver but then no he'd like he like chased her down and was like I love you yeah he asked for her phone number and then she panicked and gave her her real number yeah yeah yeah and then he met he like what is she like did some sting operation and had this like poor immigrant arrested because he was texting her like just weird I love you I love you baby please yeah now that was fucking hilarious that was a really fun that was really fun yeah yeah I five a lot of fun memories of the road and guess what guys maybe in 2023 young Nicholas and myself might do some stuff the two

of us I don't know what that would look like because look this this quote-unquote podcast is dog shit and I obviously don't tell them that they thought it was good until you know they did nobody's listening to it either I don't we have like what was it would you say it was 150 downloads per episode of the Adam Freeland show podcast oh yeah about a hundred to 150 it used to be and the come tamer quarter of a million more than that 350 to 400,000 dollars per episode yeah and now this is we lost it dude yeah we lost the audience oh well we just got that we just got a gay rich guy yeah I would love that dude in the

CIA if it turned out like at this point in my life that would be a dream come to me awesome it was David Geffen yeah if I got a letter from David Geffen it's like look I've been the one supporting the patreon if and you don't have to but maybe please stop calling me a pedophile on the show right away shit I'd be like David you're a good guy David baby cakes babe babe David baby babe the fact that you think you'd even have to ask is all my fucking mind David you say how high are you you say jump I say how high yeah perhaps I could complain Nintendo switch on the yacht while you rape a child maybe I'll go to one of your twink

pool parties yeah that's gotta be that's funny cuz like women like women you know like women get drunk and they're like oh don't go home with that guy Sarah you know there's like you know there's like things that they know not to do you know I mean the guy the party's like I'll give you a ride home you know yeah oh look out for that guy yeah he's got a bad reputation yeah it's sad and then if you're like a young gay man if a billionaire is like yeah we're having a pool party like that's they're like Eric you know what a pool party means I thought there was gonna be pizza and a beach ball that we all knock

around you saw that episode of the grassy right which one the gay pool party episode now we're you know wasn't it was that happen no it doesn't happen I don't remember that whatever it takes I got back into the grassy I started watching it too it's on the HBO it's on HBO Max that I have the entire series that you know you do that you got me into it yeah it is it is truly a demented world dude it's fucking hilarious it is so funny show about Canadian kids but then they kill it's right to soprano a kid gets raped in one episode next episode she's back at school but she's like I'm so stressed oh yeah Emma's like

I guess I'm going to have to kill Manny because she looked at my boyfriend there's really it's like fucking shit the Tony soprano with it sociopathic yeah it's insane Manny big pussy got killed because he was a tattletale you know that we don't talk to the Feds somebody called Ginny Sack Fat Fat Fat they called her Fat somebody called Ginny's Cirque Fat fat dumb accent it's so funny that Drake is from that the biggest star in the world yeah he really shouldn't be allowed to say the n-word they should take that away from him honestly he can still do his little raps but he's not allowed to say the n-word he was a

victim of gun violence on the show yeah he gets shot by a no he's the block character yeah I mean the best character is Spinner the one that's like Spitters the best there's an episode where he gives one of his riddling pets in the sixth season I've seen that because it's a riddling pill to Jimmy and that's what what happens to play basketball so he gets better at yeah Jimmy you're going to bed in the game if you take my rhythm pill and then gives him the riddling pill and then fucking the Spinner because he can't take his riddling he's like hyperactive yeah Jimmy's fouling people he's fouling his

own teammates he like pushes Sean to the game push a shot over but he makes a good play he's like Jimmy we talked to you about dunking the basketball there's no blick dunking allowed the blocks the blicks aren't allowed to dunk the basketball and Canadian basketball Canadian Regulation Basketball Bans blick dunking you're doing too much black shoe boot and you're going to jail for black shoe boot Jimmy and so he he gives a riddling pill to Jimmy and then Spinner shows his asshole he's like hey the grassy check this out and he pulls his asshole out and then he's in the principal's office and he's like but mr. Raddish I didn't mean to and the

principal's like we all know what happens when you miss your riddling pill yeah like he already has a peg that he missed his own pill and it's like what happens he shows his asshole to people that's like that's just that's why he was that's why he was prescribed a riddle in the first place because Spinner was going around showing his sealed asshole to the school community his sealed down syndrome asshole to everybody it is it is truly such a funny show yeah no great but like I remember you showed it to me for the first time you just turned to me you're like this shit goes so hard you're like you don't realize how hard

this show goes yeah yeah yeah it's amazing no people people don't wait Emma like gets raped in the first episode right well she doesn't get raped I mean she's like talking a pedophile trust yeah she's talking to the pet the show opens with her talking to a pedophile it's the first episode yeah yeah yeah but hello mind your business next take watch this digression like you're in this like you're the bully at the school yeah you're like you're like fuck you Emma you fucking dumb bitch literally dude I hate all you hate who's the black girl the glasses Liberty Liberty Nick just sits there bullying

cuz like what you get a look at her she's the kind of girl you're mean to in school that she's the kind of girl she's like they get shit when she's all of the characters suck and then the writers all get to be like yeah what if JT gets stabbed and pissed on you know that's a kid to say the actors on the show for fucking seven seasons and then he is stabbed in a park wait JT like the annoying kid yeah that's like the Jim Carrey class clown the class yeah he's not not a single joke that he tells his yeah he's brutal he sucks that's so funny yeah yeah he never says anything funny you're so funny JT nobody

thinks he's funny either he's just coded as the class no no but that's what I mean too is like none of the like like pages coded as hot but there's no hot characters on the show spinner is coded as retarded he saw Ashley got hot Drake is coded as black yeah they imply he's none of the character he can play basketball none of the character he's a victim of gun violence none of the characters are actually the thing they're supposed to be yeah like Toby's a nerd supposedly but in the nerd the only way he's a nerd he's just Jewish well he's good at googling things like he finds like MSI I can't find any

information on sea turtles and then Toby's like let me try and then he googles like fucking there's like yeah yeah you know the interstitial music is incredible well yeah and then he's like fucking weird just does like a ghost writer close up yeah he's like fucking Toby's world sea turtles and his own search engine then Emma's like wow Toby how did you do that and he's like can I please get some please can I please hey Toby here I'm here in Denver looking for some pussy if I can get it I'll be at comedy works you're in 17th through the 19th Toby here I'll be at comedy works Denver and I'm looking for some pussy if

I can get it from you from yeah yeah hey if you don't mind spinners is just straight-up retarded no yeah yeah it's down syndrome his tongue is too big for his mouth he has that kind of like speech pattern I remember yeah there was there was a girl I showed the grassy one time and I told her spinner right down and she just believed it I was like yeah the character has done the same thing the same yeah he gets to go to regular obviously they're not gonna cast a guy with Down syndrome yeah it was yeah they'll be both cruel and technically not necessarily feasible yeah they're actors they could play different yeah yeah

what do you imagine a guy with Down syndrome trying to deliver all those lives not like spinner can yeah no Ashley got hot in real life which one's actually what she be actually becomes gone wait who's Ashley the sister Ashley's this is Toby steps Toby steps and her dad her dad's gay Emma get Emma's hot in real life now in real life yeah you will see I find that hard to believe I'll tell you I hate I hate Emma you're like you watch it you're like you stupid fucking bitch Emma sucks dude she sucks she sucks she's fucking annoying oh bro we got a text back from who from harm why are you saying this on the road

and first of all don't say his name like that what don't say his name like that it's good because it obfuscates it but also I that's I was about to say the full thing no no you know that was you doing the you wisdom dude we called him weeks ago I know but saying it that way was you doing will be good dude I can't tell you how bad I want to fucking just drag pull a drag off that vape don't do it I know I can't the Apple Watch is telling me it's like we'll beep the name get a timestamp no I'm not beeping shit you should all right this is I'm not putting any more effort into beeping the show we're doing any of that shit yeah

you're folks look please this is not do not interpret this as me being ungrateful for the last six years or having any negative feelings about calm down but calm down like anything else was a product that or project that at a beginning in the end and we're proud of it we're happy with it but we want to do something other than podcasting and the talk show is departure from that please go to patreon.com subscribe because honestly because it's not like it's blowing all the money is a joke but it also isn't ideally we would be blowing all the money and we'd be doing you know that we we have a producer that knows

how to blow the money correctly but everything gets reinvested back into doing like bigger shit and fully crowdfunding it and not having an answer to anybody that would be awesome yeah if we could fucking you know do like a like a serialized feature yeah that would be the the fucking absolute dream that's really what we I mean the the first couple of minutes of the show is really the shit I want to do for six years really is the shit we've been wanting to do for a long time yeah and it's really cool that we're doing it though I feel really honestly it genuinely is that the patreon jumps up to

like six million dollars a month and then I just then I spend the next year just watching the grassy I'm like no it's like it's like a meta thing about social media and the grassy and the movie is me watching the grassy and then I'm not even watching the grass anymore I'm just rewatching contact contacts are great movie dude yeah I remember David Moore still alive you don't really see him much anymore he's a great which guy is that David Morris is the father in contact we should get him on the show yeah dude that's Emma no let me see this I mean she's no he's not like I mean compared to like whatever she like

compared to what she got eleven year old girl she got a hotter I don't know about that no no but you know what I'm not gonna say anything because there's a chance we could have her on the show yeah don't fucking comments on me oh fuck I forgot we got to do another read all right yeah blue blue two go if you like I'm gonna get another beer do we have more don't say beer on the show can you want it you want to beat beer if you love him if you love sex you love blue chew dot com it's an incredible place for sex lovers everywhere blue chew is a service that provides chewable tablets for guys who want a little bit more

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is most important is the respect of a woman in the bedroom yep that's what it's all about folks blue chew dot com go there please go there and tell them that Adam sent you from the Adam Freeland show a talk show in the Adam Freeland show podcast a podcast and now back to the show wait didn't we know some of that fuck Manny yeah bunch of people fuck Manny sweet sweet but he's going with me sorry but as the newly single head of the dance committee I had to scoop up the cutest day to get fun how come the gay guys always win thank you so much you'll find something she

to wear who's all going us Jimmy Hazel and just so you know I think Paige is bringing that ooh remember when Paige gets raped awesome yeah and then they they start a band and they do songs about rape about like when you rape me or some shit it's good dude remember when Marko is struggling with his being gay well he is gay well he is gay but he doesn't when he's trying to not come out of the closet and he has a soul patch but he's in high school the soul patch is very very funny yeah damn they'll never be a show this good again it's literally it's like the fucking the Sopranos and then the grassy and then

the Adam Freeland show the grassy and Sopranos exist side by side yeah and underneath that is probably fucking deep space nine and then Babylon five and then what would be the fourth greatest show of all time I guess deadwood meet the press meet the press yeah Hollywood Squares yeah marvelous miss Maisel marvelous the marvelous marvelous missus penis how about that wouldn't that be interesting wouldn't that be interesting I notice one of these LED's flickering I wonder how much fucking work would be to get those swapped out cuz I really want to put better strips in those like brighter strips brighter I

want the brighter because I want the the velvet to pop more yeah brighter but then also something with like like better I don't know you call it but like there's different types at LGBT or RGB RGB RGB T C P plus like color fucking technology but a little bit more control because there's no we want a warm light coming out of there but because it's a blue the velvet it always looks green what are you doing I'm trying to get a ride home bro what do you mean you're trying to get a ride home we're not even done with work yet I'm saying after we're done you want to leave here immediately no I've been sitting around

I've been sitting around to get picked up I've been sitting around for five we got more we got more business to attend to but I just want to sit around for five hours waiting for your ass well I had to go shopping you bought a car today I'm buying or I'm leasing a car you want to tell everybody about your car I got a Mazda Miata you got a Volvo with the flip-up lights you got a Volvo V 70 60 V 60 it's nice dude license plate number well it's a it's a vanity plate it's a vanity plate you know Maine say the main is cutting down on vanity plates in an effort to cut down on fucking slurs yeah yeah another news New

Jersey in an effort to cut down on public obesity is getting rid of dinner plates that's good yeah what should we do what you do should we do a little model log writing wrap the show up to the model log yesterday for I know but I don't mind we actually wouldn't when the episode come up come out it kind of came out today came out yesterday well no it came out at like 3 a.m. this morning Zelensky had the house laughing nervously here's how you write monologues guys you go to Yahoo news because yahoo yahoo was always the best that's where you get all the good shit Zelensky a celebration of resilience in a sales

pitch for support Zelensky back to the fucking Dennis to Zelensky's carefully choreographed blitz of washing those crafted is one part celebration of Russia's failure across UK and one of our appreciation of American taxpayer what the fuck is fuck this article I need to know what he said US couple get off your phone please I'm looking for headlines I'm looking for headlines we can't both be looking for headlines look what if I find a really good one I'm I'm looking we're looking at the same website all right all right all right all right all right all right all right here we go Megan these

stallions boyfriend partisan fontane shares message in support of women amid Tory Lana's Tory Lane's Tory Lane's her ex-boyfriend shot her in the foot yeah people say that she better people have been I just want to say I don't know who any of these people are but just looking at pictures of them I think they should all probably be in jail that's racist no it's not a joke that's just that's just young men three times more likely shot dead in two U.S. cities than in Iraq or Afghanistan okay which cities Chicago Illinois yeah and the young men are Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein yeah it's true they were

harboring terror that's good it's a little joke Monica Lewinsky criminal defense attorney explains why you should avoid self-checkout lanes theft by mistake okay I guess she's warning people that you could stop using self-checkout lines because you accidentally steal what who is this fucking nerd the point of using self-checkout is to steal again I'd say that it looks like I'd like to accidentally steal her pussy yeah I'd like to I like her to be my lawyer man shot ex-girlfriend 15 times because she didn't answer his calls Florida cops say man shot his girlfriend ex-girlfriend 15

times because she hadn't answered his phone calls or text messages which is exactly what I'd like to do to fuck any time I call fucking customer service of the cable company okay no Sam bankman freedness yo have you seen a picture of his girlfriend yes horrible that is that is one of the I've ever seen my entire life and I don't want to comment on women's appearances because I would like to book a lot of people for the show that is a freak look and apparently they were in this like a sex shit they're into like a poly shit I would probably throw up on her like God awful oh my gosh she looks

like a like a owl mouse yeah she's terrifying looking yeah now she look I mean she looks like a little like cartoon like worm or bug or something yeah she yeah she looks like it yeah no Sam bankman freedness parents didn't just shell out 250 million for bail here's how it works I think this trend in headlines now where they just assume you're upset about something because there's something you don't understand you know I mean yeah like no Harvey Weinstein didn't rape a bunch of actresses here's what's actually going on cousin Eddie display and tucky leads to the police response

hey what are you doing I'm looking for the sex stuff that they don't ignore it and why it's gonna be funny because I'm looking at headlines look up the sex stuff the way we don't need just a bunch of dead air please no I want to look I want to see the sex stuff that those freaks we're doing to each other I'm doing I'm going so you find it for me then why do I need to find out in the middle of doing the model I do the model I'm sorry sorry sorry Jesus Christ I'm sorry man white male investment banker punches black female MTA worker in the face and is released without bail sounds hilarious to me already I'm next

joke yeah white male investment point punch the black female into her gonna face and was released without bail Brooklyn subway station I don't like what am I supposed to be mad about this I don't understand we say always bail should be this guy's name is his name is here's an important detail okay Jean Francois Costa that guy he punched a working woman in the in the face yeah sounds like a bad guy to me a senior equity analyst to talk about asset management he was apparently drunk she pushed the door so it clicks and locks and he punched her in the face at least twice Jesus Christ

classes across the rest of the scene our recording place is ordered released without bail my C Tran but who's the two who's the who's like the the target demographic for outrage with this headline because all the people that are like oh white man you know like they don't want fucking bail reform right right well so as you should you want it's for Jean because Jean if you listen to the new episode patreon.com I guess taps he has a couple opinions on bail reform I guess that's yeah I set him up you knock him down yeah who who would want I guess you're gonna have to listen to patreon I guess you're gonna have to

listen on patreon.com so it seems like it seems like a weird contradiction yeah white male a white a white man are released without bail Philadelphia man exonerated after decades that this is very funny Philadelphia man exonerated after decades in prison gunned down and Jesus Christ damn that's a horrible yeah gunned down man suffer gunshot wounds of his head wow that sucks what happened to the funny headlines yeah why is it all just shit that's gonna you find good funny ones for the monologue we have the bull semen one is his stuff that's gonna bait me

into dead panning racist joke that you ignore because you're you're responding to text messages I'm not I'm not on the phone bro DA season of fentanyl to kill every American hospital rooms for celebs of the VIPs and her scrutiny why your favorite rich okay well that's gonna do you're trying to get right home no I don't know I'm not my ride's not you're gonna be here for a while I want to talk about Sam bank when freed and his girlfriend sex okay then pull it up you can do your Google apparently they were into Chinese harem polyamory what does

that mean well that's what was that different than regular polyamory they're ugly people having sex that's polyamory yeah I told you that god damn now I'm looking at her really is fucking truly just dog shit hideous I mean she is just what's your name Christina some way Christina dog shit Caroline Ellison Sam bank would freeze ex Caroline Ellison made him foray into Chinese harem polyamory I'm googling Caroline dog shit and if she comes up she penned graphic blog posts about polyamory and masochism before the implosion of FDX

Ellison who dated FDX founder Sam bank when freed wrote candidly about her foray into polyamory and then now deleted tumblr account in February 2020 I just want to see what they what the what those freaks were doing when I first started my foray into oh my god now I'm looking at a picture of her and reading this simultaneous when I first started my foray into poly I thought of it as a radical break from my trad past but TBH I've come to decide that only acceptable style of poly is best characterized as something like imperial Chinese harem none of this non hierarchical bullshit everyone should

have a ranking of their partners people should know where they fall in the ranking there should be a vicious power struggles for the higher ranks I'm not even like one of these that is psycho bro not even one of these like guillotine fucking Marxist guys but she really should have her head cut off she should be shot if only because that head should not be on a body it should just it shouldn't a little jack-o-lantern head god damn oh my god imagine just look at a picture of this girl I'm gonna read you the sentence look I'll tell you what at least at least neither of the two of them need to

worry about being raped in prison that's true I can tell you that no one's that crazy I hope Sam beats the case I hope I hope it I hope Teflon Sam beats the case yeah and I hope she gets solitary I hope I hope his defense is he did it because he was sad about the rising tide of anti-Semitism in America and he's let off I hope that they put her in the Magneto prison from X-Men I'm less hedonistic and more masochistic I get a lot of pleasure from doing things that are hard unpleasant physically taxing or I'm looking pain you're just the kinky CEO alleged Jesus Christ man yeah she's and it's like it's it's it's it's

because mathematically she's not like she's she's not I mean she's just an ugly girl yeah I mean I'm sure you could find women that are ugly yeah of course but something about it she's got this like you know like sometimes like a very plain looking woman will be like you're like like what a what a fuck she's got some yeah there's something yeah she's got the reverse of that she's got like the negative there's something about her that she's got a dark awful yeah dark energy that makes her disgusting born too late to have ten kids born too soon to have four-dimensional upload orgies that is disgusting yeah

yeah I just want to see like an elephant just like kind of just you know you know the videos of the firemen during the civil rights movement using the hoses on the protesters yeah and they kind of just get swept along the street it is really crazy I want to see an elephant like just doing that with its ass to this woman just spraying diarrhea at her and she goes away just elephant diarrhea hose that takes her yeah right off the face of the earth look at this she talks about like how she likes to get domed and then you look at a picture of sandbanks they made some poor graphic designer draw this bitch

let me see had somebody at the wall I'm glad I'm glad we're talking about this one Jesus Christ imagine this guy throwing up all over she talks about how she likes men to have sufficient strength over power you controlling most major and and controlling most major world governments mm-hmm it's disgusting yeah yeah she's spatial reasoning abilities low-risk a version mm-hmm yeah she's this is this is this is gross are we we're gonna hear what her voice sounds like I don't know I'm looking I'd like to hear you wanted to bring you a sexy voice would be in the last segment I wasn't ignoring you

dude you can bring this up I was trying to find the sex stuff these nerds this these nerds having this is Gary Wang guy I also liked it this like this whole company is just like a community college lunchroom it's like this it's just like the biggest nerds in the world like it's like magic the other guy yeah this Gary Wang guy no he's a he was in the company too yeah Gary Wang Chinese entrepreneur he's also but yeah it's let me see a pic of him yeah this is very yeah there's like another guy that looks like Toby from the grassy what is Sam I want to I've never I've never heard what Sam sounds like dude headlights are so

funny FTX bros orgy loving gal pal these these people are hilarious yeah people are trying to spin it that they're a sandbank where free was the biggest dem democratic party donor they're trying to say that he was like no he's a Trump guy was he no yeah the Democrats don't ever do anything wrong ever yeah yeah he was huge he was huge mega mm-hmm it was cool that he was in the Bahamas before they caught a perfect this is a reaction video I guess it's a what you know watching the FTX sex tape what's the there's a porn hub video all right oh I found it I found her

Caroline Ellison nude yeah elementary school math being comfortable with risk is very important we tend not to have things like stop losses I think those aren't necessarily great risk management tool trying to think of a good example of a trade where I've lost a ton of money well I don't know I probably don't want to go into specifics too much called Caroline Edison it was closely interlinked with FTX and was the head of alumna research let's listen being open to whatever happened I think like every week or so something like we're in the previous week would happen and I was

like okay I was like I just like mentally you know adjusted myself to you know okay we're farming calm and then it's like oh now we're farming these things that are like foods and then now we're farming these like whatever weird like meta food things I don't know yeah I feel like I didn't manage to get yeah I get away from my initial skepticism and I'm embracing the mindset of like great gonna like go out and look for like whatever like the weirdest dumbest thing people are talking about today and like that's gonna be the thing I'm working on today so there you have it Caroline Edison the sex god of the earth take a quick

list I don't understand what that is but I doubt now kind of this is funny they put her in that meme with the with the you know the guys the six guys you know in their underpants staring at him this one's much better it's Hunter Biden fucking damn they're getting flame these people yeah I think she's kind of fire and I would love to Hunter Biden fuck Sam Brinkman freed Sam bank when free is his freedom no yeah no yes that's his name come on bro this lady sucks anyway guys I think I would fuck her all right well that's gonna do it for today that's gonna do it for today all right happy holidays for happy

holiday Merry Christmas happy Kwanzaa and as always guys see your families be nice to your families family's important it's been a great year thanks for a great year guys