The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 106 – Will Shitz His Pants

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

why dont you cross your lips on this word right here bitch

Fuckers hello, and welcome to come down This is for Phoenix come look at my my name is Phoenix. That's my name. I'm Phoenix come My name is Luke Sky Faggot We like Luke Sky Homo there is another Sky Faggot Mr. Yoda you can't die Sucking penis I will I want to go see a faggot you are Act like a faggot you must act

I'm not acting like a faggot. Mm-hmm. Are you I want to see solo. Oh, yeah, I was about to say we should go see solo Here's a thing piece idea. Excuse me. Shouldn't this be a movie be called land. Oh, yeah, excuse me Excuse me. Yes. How about black excellence? You know, that's my real name Adam Adam land. Oh, I thought Adam black excellence land now. Yeah It was changed in when they just have Africa to free that's land out. That's not land Whatever similar you're named after the symbol on the side of a like like Mart like the actor Martin Landau like Cut him. That's a nice shirt. They don't want to slice it. It is really that cashmere I don't actually I think it's a merino wool. Can I be honest? I don't like it. It's not mine

It's a Dasha's friends ex-husband from desert safari. I don't like Dasha's ex-husband You're wearing his clothes and her friend's ex-husband. Yes. Actually, I don't think I ever got it It's cool that this Dasha still friends with Dasha brings her ex-husband's clothes for you to put on She's like, it's so big on you Yeah They're still friends it's pretty mature guys mature. Yeah, I'm not still friends with anybody even people I'm friends with There's no longer being friends with anybody. Oh, you keep in touch with your exes I don't even keep in touch with you know myself Nick's wearing noise-canceling headphones right now

He can't hear anything me or Adam. Yeah, boys cancelling The rare reversal on the boys You only hear black excellent voices, you hear the excellent voices of magical black women Joseph and his amazing technicolor dream black woman, although I have to say Serena Williams appears to have used up some black girl used up a lot of her black girl magic Yeah, in and considering what pulled out of did she pull out of the French open? Yeah, stop What's the other day? Can you tell me what the times it said? We are at two minutes and forty seven

Fifty eight nine forty nine three minutes fifty one seconds fifty two fifty fifty three seconds fifty four fifty five Fifty eight fifty nine three minutes perfect Wow, so then it yeah, we got I got we got to start doing reads at Certain times. Yeah, okay, we can't tell the audience we have to sneak them in okay perfect because it has to sound like sponsors were very concerned that people would be Fast-forwarding to the advertisements. So you guys if you do that guess what we're giving out This would be a secret hidden message It'll be Adam's address

First four numbers hidden in the first three. There's a lot more There's a lot more doxing to do a lot more personal information that we could release listen to the entire here's the You listen to the entire read. There's a download code for pictures of Dosh's feet Got mad on the mega upload 4k him dot com. Yeah, his personal stash. Yeah, who's Kim dot com? He's that fat German guy. Hmm. It's like a hacker. He did mega upload He's that German hacker. He started mega upload. I think I think where's he live in New Zealand or something now? Yeah, or I think he's dead. Actually, is he dead? I think so getting too much pussy getting too much poisoning

Alright cunt poison. Oh, we said this on the premium But if you're in Australia, we'll be there in October. Oh, yeah, three cities rich boss, Australia, baby Yeah There was this world so much for this country. I Can't wait for the hi might could you stop spitting all over? My your teeth are too fucked up to come into the country What is why do you have fake teeth? Yeah, that's gross. Hey, come on man. It was crack was it?

It wasn't he's kind of like the Ian of Literally, the old guy really into him. Yeah, that's exactly correct. It is Although he every once in a while. Yeah, Bonnie is hot She's I wonder if she's trans considering boss is the Ian of that group. That is true. That would make sense Friend of the show body that funny with that. Yeah, that hot good at comedy. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta have a dick It's gotta have a penis. That's the only explanation. Bonnie McFarland. We're calling you out. Let's see that cock You listen to the new segment come down. Let's see that we call out women for being too talented The only explanation is that they're hiding a cock

Damn, baby, let me see that fucking dick Yeah, the new type of cat called mm-hmm women are assumed to be men Yeah, that Tina Fey a little too funny for me. You probably got a dick. Let's see Yeah, Tina Fey. Let's see that cock. Show us your cock bitch. Show us your dick, bitch It's not misogyny because we don't consider them women We're just being mean to other men and you know what men are toxic, so it's actually good Hell hell hell hell hell yes fuck man. She should show us your cock. Especially the ones that are trans Wait a second

So, yeah, we're gonna be in motherfucking rich of Australia in October Melbourne Sydney and Brisbane And that's gonna be a rich Vostamore. Yeah, rich Vostamore August 12 was 20 rich Vostamore bar the rich Vosto bar in Baltimore like rep silence of the lambs. Yeah, dude What because the the insane asylum is yeah, the insane asylum asylum is in Maryland where I come throwing insane Asylum I didn't know well the book takes place like Hannibal Lecter is supposed to be from Baltimore. He's hell. Yeah. Yeah, he's a Baltimore Yeah, yeah, it's a Clareese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Clareese once you get in here come over here Yeah, they say he's the smartest man in Baltimore. Yeah, I've never choked on a button That's the test the best thing you've never put your clothes in your mouth

If you made it that far in life, guess what you can eat people I some I some liver with Old Bay Crab Chip Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Natty ice, right? I just yeah, I didn't know why I I had a nice dinner ate his liver with some e-pills Which I call rava beans And then a nice glass of forloko and then he goes home made forloko They stopped it. I've been assembled at home, but I got to encourage you. Yeah, I figured it out

It's Dometat Mountain Dew Co-Red a little bit of fucking pipe Draino, yeah, I eat every part of the body except the pussy because that's just gay My name is le Hannibal L apostrophe Hannibal, but I'm white. Do not look at my hair Do not look at the shape of my hair and accuse me of being mixed-race Don't ever fucking look you can touch go ahead touch it. Why would I give a shit? Don't comment on its texture, but you can fucking touch it. You don't like it. I'll fucking eat your ass Yeah, le Hannibal Lector damn we just Dr. Ruth turn 90

She's still got that good pussy. Yeah, dude. I think she's probably So good that 90 year old pussy so hard it turns inside out Just imagine how bad you could fuck up an 80 year old's pussy. Yeah for sure It's like more elastic It'll come right out. Yeah, it'll pop relax blow that pussy to pieces She's fucking if you blow into her ass to probably pop her pussy out. Yeah, I would think yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, it's like it's like Left around like a helium balloons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for a while two days old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just sagging now imagine an 80 year old That you can put your dick inside. Yeah, that's had a lot of common

I know a woman's pussy. It's like you know when you've been chewing on gum too long, but you're still nervous Yeah, so you gotta get a fuck one woman over 70 hellamere You fuck come on. What a boring choice. Well, what's your doctor Ruth? Turn she's turning 90 about to die. I don't give a fuck about that boring choice Then she's got some big-ass fucking titties. What's her name from that that French actress is pretty hot. That's pretty boring choice, too Who pair oh pair She's like 85. How is it Isabelle Huppert Huppert. Yeah bail Yeah, she's not that old dude. You're fucking imbecile. She's probably

She's not she was in her mid 30s in like the night the mid 90s. She's hell mirroring even a 70 probably not She might be she might be around there. I I saw her crush a bull What year what year what year is? The celebration what year did that come out? 1992 Is that Michael Monica's? It feels like it would be 98

Dasha you just want to be on come town. What the fuck? Yeah Yeah, it's it's 1998 the celebration. Yeah, she's probably what like I'm googling hot-ass old lady hot-ass women after 70 Um deep-ass fucking of old horny woman. Yeah, that looks pretty good that That video that that yeah, fuck granny till she squirts Sexy-ass old hairy lady free hairy sexy porn somebody I have to give credit somebody DM'd me told me to watch it I can't remember who but I did but that movie hereditary that's coming out with a fat-ass gives a hot blowjob and rides on Con. Is that a scary movie? Thanks, sir. Yes, the

Is that the one you're talking about seeing dog? Oh, damn Adam. Could you shut up for one sec? I'll go ahead. Could you please shut up? What about hereditary? Yeah, this movie hereditary is coming out Which is a scary movie. Mm-hmm. It's our imbecile friend here for Yeah, it's lame to call scary movies. First of all, I'm not scared. There's genre films. It's a horror movie Yeah, it's not sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Scary. How ineligible of me? Scary is received and I have never been scared by anything in my life. Yeah, that's not a scary movie If I can't I can understand what genre it's supposed to be in. Yeah, it's a genre. They would be a lot Okay, so it's a fucking horror movie, right?

Professor emeritus Nick Mullen film a lot film a lot Julie. That's right Anyways that director he made a short film called there's something strange about the Johnson's in 2011. Oh, yeah, and it's black. It's is black. Oh, they are black Oh, nice and the what happens in the movie is there's a 14-year-old black kid and he gets caught by his dad beating off Mm-hmm, and then the dad's like a snorkel don't really about it And then the dad leaves the room and like you see the picture the kid was jacking off to and it's a shirtless picture of his dad. Oh That's right up our own rules and then the kid starts raping his father. What the fuck? Holy is violently raping him for like 14 years. What the 14 years?

So it cuts it cuts to like the son's elder now And he's getting married and he's like hiding to a woman to a woman and then he's like, you know at the wedding like pulling His dad into the garage and fucking his dad just raping his father. Yeah, he sounds like the coolest guy ever You know how his dad had I mean that's a lot. He wanted it Yeah, it's not rape dude. He wanted it. You can't be getting raped by your son and not put up a fight That's actually legally true legally. You can't you know how spousal rape we haven't got the Sun's one of the old laws in English Write your own father before sundown That's how you become a governor and a Commonwealth

Is you're not allowed to eat ice cream while walking backwards after sunset if you rape your own father and he doesn't fight back You're now the Duke That's why landed gentry. That is a crazy idea for us for a short film. Yeah, how does it end? Um, the dad dies the dad comes now the dad is running out of the house because the dad's a writer so he's written a manuscript Explaining how his son's been raping him for years. He's what a son catches him with the maybe scowardly Well, that's yeah, the son has something like monologue He's like you can't understand that like this is love and sometimes that's scary But there's a difference between being scared of being a coward and he's like you've been fighting this since it started

He's like, but he's like, yeah, it may be rough at times But it's because I love you so much and you love me Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like whoa mind fucking the dad Yeah, it's about a son. He just rapes his father in every way Son yeah doesn't know how to feel and the dad like runs out of the house crying with the manuscript and gets hit by a Van and dies damn that guy took a series of L's and yeah Talk about taking it No, I loved it. Yeah, that's actually the last line of the movie. Yeah, and then he the son fucks his corpse

Yeah, just is the son gay in any other way or just one now He just rapes his dad nice and then there's one see there's one scene There's one scene DNA because like they like he's still married to the mom, you know And so the mom is just like ignoring that this is going on wild. Yeah, and there's like one scene where The dad isn't like the bathtub listening like positive affirmation tapes on headphones because he like, you know It wants to kill himself or whatever and then the son decides to like stay at home like the sun was just visiting with his wife And then he like intentionally breaks a dish and it's like I'm just gonna clean up Why don't you go home? And I'll be home a little bit late, you know, and then the dad knows what's up

Well, the dad doesn't know what's up He's got headphones on and he's like in the bathtub and the son tries to come in the bathroom He's like, you know, I feel about locked doors and he's like trying to open the door And he can't open it and then the dad takes the headphones off But it's too late. The son's already angry and he kicks down the door and then you just hear the son violently Well, the mom's like just hears him screaming in the other room and she's just like, you know Stone-faced and turning the volume up on the TV while her husband's being raped Oh my what's that? What is this like a fucking allegory for some she's an allegory for I'll tell you our political

Getting a new pair of underwear And guys, whatever kind of underwear you're wearing right now They're buying a new pair of underwear at McWeldon.com Because Mac Weldon they believe in smart design premium fabrics and simple shopping, you know, I think it's hard to love your father Well, I got something easy for you go into McWeldon.com and enjoying the simple shopping experience that they provide Okay, easier than Amazon easier than kicking down a door and raping your own father I have a question. Yeah, I think a problem when raping your father is that your your dick would kind of smell bad It would be a bad experience for him. Luckily, they have a line of naturally antimicrobial silver underwear and shirts

This means they they're odor-eating So that's science the darkest parts of you and buries it deep down inside where no one can see Similar to how the father in that movie must have dealt with the fact And you know what not only do they perform well they look good too and you can wear them anywhere You know at the gym at work. It's your therapist's office dealing with the fact Your son's raping you for years And tell you what if you want if you want to be like the dad in that movie the cool dad in that movie

He kept his head level while having to write a 300 mouth shut and kept his mouth shut You go to McWeldon.com use promo code come town The CUM TOW and all capital letters to receive 20% off and tell you what they just want you to be comfortable So if you don't like your first pair you can call them up and say hey I don't like them and they'll refund your money. You can keep the underwear. No questions asked But they got a lot of great clothes. I'm wearing myself. They've hooked me up certainly Well, my one of my better pairs of my obviously the best pair of money where I have one with the cock ring built in Also, the big one of those cock rings that also holds the balls, of course

Yeah, yes, and then then then there's they also have an attachment where there's a magnifying glass Looking glass like you're working on a miniature Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah series of magnifying glasses I have Attached to a woman's head and then they're locked into the underwear So they're only able to see my dick through the and then I have I have a bunch of small Explosives attached to my cock. So when I inserted she's like is it in yet? I'm like, oh, yeah Yeah, just kill the woman. Uh-huh. Yeah, you get those at Mack Weld promo code come down

Discount perfect. Thanks for explaining that to me. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah, the movie was great And so is Mack Weld and check them out and we're back to well, we're not back to anything We're not back in regular that was just part of the episode. Hey, thank you for my question about the allegory Yeah, yeah about what that movie was really about and that's why you don't skip the ads. Yeah That's good, listen What's the time stamp at cuz I got it we are at 18 minutes and 49 seconds 50 seconds 51 556 759 19 minutes

Okay, 19 minutes What's 19 plus 49 plus 21 39 is 40 40. Yeah, 40 All right, that's bad. Yeah, I didn't do the math right whatever this puts it said 40 instead of 45 Fuck, I also wasn't supposed to tell him God damn it. Well, that's why we're fucking we're keeping the audience guessing. Yeah, just like in that movie That movie really he didn't he didn't know when the brutal rape was gonna come Guessing

How about this Mexico's you on inspiring rival? Whatever their differences on domestic issues that the four presidential candidates in Mexico's election all opposed to the US president Get Vicente Fox back in there. He says fuck. He says he cusses My man look cuss word. Yeah What was Vincente was like in bed with the cartel or something like he hated them, but he would have sex with them Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like a love-hate relationship. He's like, I just can't believe you. That's what the expression in bed means Apparently Donald Trump's in bed with the big banks Yeah, oh no no legislation in their favor. He just has sex fucks

Every every executive from chase you guys hear that hit Donald Trump's wife. Dot is dead. Yeah. Oh, Melania. Melania feckless It's a feckless cunt. No, that's his daughter's daughter. Yeah Indonesia cracks down on peaceful independence movement in Papua Wow, imagine living in a bitch-ass place with a name like Papua. Yeah, you probably feel such like such a little Yeah, you probably you probably hate yourself. Yeah, if you're from Papua your gay shit But if you're from Papua New Guinea, you're tired. That's where the good pussy. You get a lot of pussy Yeah, the good pussy's in Papua New Guinea. Maybe we should go while we're in Australia Dude, I'm trying to go to something good pussy. That's we're gonna be close to Papua New Guinea

That's what I'm saying. You guys want to go to like Bora Bora some someplace. I don't want to say it like that again Adam, I'm gonna isolate that and repeat it. No, stop it. Don't do that Bora Bora, stop it. Please don't Don't draw attention Don't draw attention to that. Let's see what I do things like that renegade and chief cuts cord to his devotees on the ballot Who's that Trump? Once bright future dim is Trump favors establishment. Now. This is like These big guys on it on radio that we just read. Yeah, you just read that newspaper

I'm through the news. You can hear the newspaper. Yeah, and it was like that's how you just give up on your newspaper your radio job They used to be a show on NPR was the newspaper so read the news Literally everything on NPR is bad. They tell me one good show on NPR Car talk car talk has been off the air for a long time one of them is dead and it was the best one car talk sucked I like I like them. I mean compared to We just contrasted with the rest of it. I wasn't listening to it for car automotive tips I know it's not for vibe. They're not the vibe was it had a fun vibe. It had a good vibe. It was wholesome It was two people that love each other. That's why you didn't like it, Nick

Yeah, you're right because I wish I wasn't so fucking dark Dark I hate being this dark skinned ass Every dark ass skin why not in color, but why'd you get like a leather? Yeah, yeah, it's the I hate Rid of all the dark people yeah vibe in the vibe Skin not skin, but I mean if they happen to have skin and look you have dark people have I wonder what this article is we finally found the guy fatter than stop No, I got fatty is not it. I can't wait to go have lunch with you after this, dude

I've been waiting for you to slip up so we can not slip enough lunchtime boys. I'm gonna have a regular life I die. It's been fucking terrible lately. I'm not gonna slip away. Are you getting lunch? We're getting lunch. You want to hop in? Yeah, of course. Come on, man. Stop inviting. I'm not invited to lunch. You weren't invited to this podcast I don't know how you became I was invited. You send me a Linked in the DSR SVP Being on this podcast. Yeah, I made I might have made the card, but it was still had your name at the bottom Yes, yeah, I want to have so I want to get meat something meaty. Let's go to that barbecue place I'll get barbecue. Yeah, which one smoke joint smoke joint. I just

Have smoked joint left in my refrigerator. I just went to smoke. What about sushi? Sushi would be fun. Let's get sushi. I'm down a sushi and I go lift weights. I joined the new gym Oh, yeah, Nick Jordan's prison gym. Yeah, Richie's. Oh nice. Where's that? It's they have a bunch of locations Okay, I never find the ghost of one of them. Yeah. Yeah, that place is a fucking mess. Yeah $14 a month. That's well, that's barely over planet fitness. Yeah, $14 a month. So the year over cost is still less than one month That's insane. Yeah What's like 180 bucks 170 170. Yeah, I'm fucking sorry. I'm sorry. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm good at math over here I've never claimed to be good. Allow me to do some Judy. I want to do Jewish man. I'm trying to be Jewish

6 million after after grandma's boy came out me and my friend did that voice for like six months I love that movie. That movie is great. I watch it again. It's not as good as you Six months I know anybody says anything like ooh, what have we got? You know Chinese for lunch. Hmm. What if you suck the dick? Because you're gay That's basically what me and I'll just do with a lie detector test Actually eldest is gay. Yeah, that's the only male friendships at last And then also pretend you want to secretly suck each other. Yeah. Yeah. That's another good bit That's that's all pretend you want to be boys with someone for the rest of your life

You got it. You gotta call them gay constantly And then look at it. Yeah, look at his dick and lick your lips. Well, I love that's why I love you guys That's shut up. I'm shut up, dude Damn it. I hate it when you speak No, this is great This is a New York Times front page is a picture of a kid missing his legs his legs are just completely blown off That sounds cool And this is a terrible towing Afghanistan and then the caption is a left-of-a-rocket killed four and maimed seven young members of an

Extended family. I wanted to cry the doctor said it's like yeah, just cry right, of course You want Like yeah, that was pretty bad. It was fucked up. Yeah, yeah, it ruined my whole shit the doctor quoted That fucked my whole shit up The doctor said didn't Israel kill another Israel did Israel killed another operation what? Like a operation happy Are you you're asking if Israel killed it at the Eurovision Song Contest because the answer is they murder another? Yeah, Israel Israel had a sting operation where they

Like I did it is they love a chocolate cheese, so There's face painting and a clown and when a little I mean the terrorists They go into there to get their face painted and to do pin the tail on the donkey goes boom and blow up Well, yeah, they have one of those animatronic bands at the Chuck cheese Yeah, it blows up that but yeah, but they all have suicide vests on I mean you probably shouldn't kill fucking Paramedics so paramedics. Yeah, isn't that what that lady was? Oh, you know, what are you gonna do? I think that lady was a paradise titties Yeah, that's a real tragedy. You know that sweet set of double D's no longer be sucked on

Honestly if she was back Sweet Palestinian racks Mouthed off trying to mouth off That's the real mouthing off. Oh, yeah, you're not my real dad. Yeah, come towns going on a titty sucking toward Honestly, I've said that publicly before I feel so bad about the situation there I will suck literally any titty any goss of titty. Yeah, no matter the age or the oh, yeah, especially if it's Under 18 if it's a male or a woman or if it's a breast or or a penis, whatever what men have breasts Yeah, they're called balls. They're called breasts

Man's male breasts man's titties is dick Fuck I'm on this motherfucking intermittent fasting tip, bro What you did you drink water? Yeah, I'll drink water. Yeah, but you just don't eat coffee and BCAA's to oh BCAA's I haven't been drinking those but I've been Dasha just made us get this stuff called the college and ass-ass college in peptides college in peptide Which I think is literally just a cow's ass a cow's ass But a joint fairly. It's good for you. Yeah. Thank graffiti with consent. Oh Ooh consent. That's a hot issue. How about we stop raping walls with graffiti?

This is so this is a fucking gay dude the New York Times like oh, I like graffiti, but it's too scary when it's done without permission It's the only way that it's actually that's yeah Consent graffiti where we follow the rules. It's just murals of Hillary Clinton I thought I was in Brooklyn Heights a couple weeks ago And I saw there's like graffiti camp for like rich Brooklyn kids where there's like a b-boy like cool camp Shit, how we not talked about fucking graffiti camp. Yeah Yeah, for your little fucking faggot razor scooter eight-year-old and there is like my name starburst There's like some cool like black guy with a bucket hat like hey, I'm counselor b-boy

Yeah, we're learning how to do graffiti gonna be tight and they were doing it on like pieces of paper Imagine those kids becoming adults and having to remember that they went to that camp Yeah, and then like just maybe like wanting to kill themselves. Yeah, of course now they Because there's my son's gonna be cool because I'm gonna send him to the school of rock Yeah, I'm gonna teach him how to rock at least you can learn how to play a fucking instrument If I had a kid dude, I would do nothing but beat that child and fucking make sure I never had fun I would send my motherfucker the fun is for after you turn 18 liking yourself enjoying yourself. Yes. Yes. Yes That's why that's why it's so easy for you to have it right now

That's why even though your life is going really well, you never seem to be happy Yeah, unless you're whittling or playing with fucking wood in some way Please stop getting wood shavings all over my apartment make a sharpening. I get him in your asshole. I'm gonna pry your ass. How would that even be possible? Someone I think Nick's I think your fucking court is making a Scrooge sound because he's whittling too much during this episode Mm-hmm writing songs back back to the back to the newspaper. What else we got? This is a now a new show Yeah, move over Chappell. Yeah, we're the guess who's guess who learned how to read. Yeah, dude We're finally gonna catch up with those those elitists. Yeah, I don't like how much money they're making

We got to take some of that out of their damn pockets. Mm-hmm. How about you redistribute that right fucking here pal Hershey's memoir is caustic and revealing. What else? Uh, it's gay Slam dunk Hey, how about semen her should yeah, so he just drinks later by Dasha's leaving Yeah, yeah, Dasha's going to the foot museum Yeah, she's going to do by to some foot modeling I guess No, I mean Dasha have the same agent now. Oh nice. So I can get inside intel on how much they hate me from her. Yeah Yeah, yeah, because uh

Fan base who shall not be named A million dollar ad campaign way more than that easily three million dollars Easily the ad itself costs. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah That ad was expensive as shit out of control. It's an incredible bird was in. Yeah Licensing costs. It's incredible. The license of Dolly Parton song. That's right It was they went to fucking the shot some of it in Hong Kong and like Berlin. That's I mean this is like they had to suck Dolly Parton's titties for permission. I mean, that's real power Nick I know you lost probably a hundred thousand dollars. Yeah on that but that is real power. Is that what power is?

Hospital and you knock over IBM is like literally one of the most powerful companies in the world. Don't tell me to shut up. I'm complimenting No, this is not a comment. The motherfucker got a hundred K ticket. I was no It sucks it clearly sucks But I mean power it sucks dick also IBM didn't really lose that much money They just cut this fucking idiot out of the commercial. Yeah, they still used it But being able to see you got fucked Jeopardy. That's a three million dollar ad For a moment, okay, he made IBM for like one day be like what the fuck are we gonna do they're like

Oh, we just cut this fucking moron out of the fucking Man, it's not that hard actually. This isn't really a crisis. We don't need him at all So good point Nick is very powerful. Yeah, I wish I had magic, dude I wish I could do man. I wish I could turn super saying like that black kid that tried to yeah, dude Remember that video. Yeah, it was the best, you know, why can't we? Accomplish these things and realize that a partner it is butter boy in the New York Series hosted by a partner on trailer and others at 8 p.m. At Littlefield. Oh, oh, yeah, though You should we try to get funny moms in the newspaper? I don't know

But I'm gonna start doing the crossword while the show is going. Okay, cool. We keep sharpening that pencil. Meet the press host Chuck F.A.G.G. Chuck Todd come on. You just such you just can't help yourself. I know who chucked everyone knows I didn't know like oh, I was like a little go-for-mother fucker. Yes, but that's fucked up I was one of those yes, and I go to whatever they fucking Stop making that noise Adam. I'm sorry. Oh I was gonna say that well listen. Oh, that was what I was gonna say you have your pitch you have hey, it's Chuck Todd Give me another one. You mean you don't think it was Chuck F.A.G.G.

Chuck fag He's not on there is a guy named Russ fag, right? That's running yeah and it for Senate and I I don't Summit was up with that pedophile. That's we talked about briefly. He won. He won. He won. He's the president Take that Donald fuck Donald fag. Oh, didn't also the Supreme Court do some fucked up shit The cake those bagers not have to yeah now you you don't have to make nice cakes for gay guys That sucks dude. I'm sorry. You'll never get a cake again Adam. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I did a prank call I lost the recording, but you call up a pizzeria

You're like a yes, I would like a cake that says happy gay marriage. Erickson I'm like, we only we don't make a cake. Excuse me We don't do that. We couldn't become a cake. It's only pizza. I do you want me to call the police? Guys you should do that yourself call up different places that bake things and demand they make you a gay cake Mm-hmm. Well, I guess they they don't have to they don't have to now Yeah, so that's why I'm upset about that decision. Supreme Court just ruined the type of prank call. Yeah Yeah, I could give a shade of last about yeah, yeah, he's in their interest in developing early diabetes That's they just love having diseases

They just want to get diabetes Raised health care costs for everybody else Prep wasn't enough. That's these gates. We should have to pay for their AIDS medicine granted They I also still think they should pay for our schools and all the fucked up things my children do but the gay the gays will not get HIV might it's a fact that gays are always going to the bathroom and the hospital Yeah, they cannot stop taking shits and they cannot stop going to the doctor. It's doctor bathroom bathroom share concert shop in Vegas Yeah, share concert share share residence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas share

Let me see that dick. Oh, yeah, that's another one. Sure. Let me see that dick Um, who do we got next that Nick? What's next on the crossword? Is it about Bushwick? No, we're doing crossword. Do you ever see those? Do you ever see those? Dumpster emanation? So Adams act nuts for four four letters dumpster emanation. It's got to be baby, right? Baby Baby goes into a dumpster. Mm-hmm 14 across berry for a purple smoothie Oh blue blue a sigh a sigh. Good call. Thank you. Yeah, I'm not gonna answer because apparently it's I I'm not allowed to answer only when it's the fucking easiest one that obviously doing joke answers. Yeah I'm so well you use that as I eat without a joke the one on the spectrum and you have this much trouble navigating basic social skills

You can't pick up. No, it's bitch. It's bitch. It's bitch. That's what she's having trouble with. Well, yeah, of course Let's see. What's five down? You guys know I have my problems. I would know five down We'll see what's for experimenting lab. So yeah, I knew that but I don't be I refuse. I'm too proud Yeah, a sigh good calls. Thanks, man. Man. Stop is so good at crosswords unlike the other guest on the show What are you talking about? I'm a guest star of the show featured featured guest Adam Friedland and Featuring at the end, you know, they would do that person not really in the cast and

Introducing and introducing. Yeah, this is actually every week. You are introducing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that means that it's my first breakout role Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, I take that as a compliment Fuck dude 18 across nonsense exclamation point in quotations Balder dash Balder dash bullshit Dash hell yeah Okay You think this guy will shorts is cool in real life will shorts about your time shit God his ass. Fuck you will suck our fucking

The New York time It's my dick tied in a knot Put in your mouth and undo it like a starburst rapper. Yeah, it's somehow that's a crossword Sleddy girls know how to tie dicks into knots in their mouths. That's how you know for girls Yeah, well, my dick is the same size as a cherry stem so that that thing would always get That's how you know you're free. That's how you know. She a free 15 down. That's how you know. She a fucking freak Boys he's state. I don't hey, how about boys?

He stayed I know It's just guys you can have sex with birds on some Australian coins Kukabara moves is it three letters or letters you fucking imbecile emu has four letters emus emus Ostrich. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I'm still not sure it's that so I think they're eat Which what what is it? You want to ask your friend Chuck Todd? Yeah. Hey, how about a lifeline, huh? Regis? You know that I'm a bird's expert. Yeah, we're good. We'll be right back with who wants to be a faggot

It's always Adam. It feels good to have sex with men. Whoa Oh, oh, you know what? I like it's fucking guys. It's good. I forget what reasons sound that's It's like me just he's Albanian. Is he yeah? What yeah Elders knows all the babies out. I thought he was like an old Irish I don't know this one four down arch enemy of the fantastic four. I'm not going to do it. Dr. Doom. Dr. Doom So it's dr. D. Oh I suppose yes, dr. Doom. How did you know that bro? I dabble in comics

Yeah I like that shit a little bit. Mm-hmm not enough to read a whole comic, but my mom would get me like a book like a big-ass Like coffee table book about comics. Mm-hmm, and I would read those Oh, so you're into the genre, but not the I just was too fucking lazy to read a fucking whole comic book Yeah, you know I'm saying it seems like it seemed tedious. It's pictures. It's pictures I'd rather I mean I watch I watched I watched every comic book show like I watched x-men x-men. I fucking love But

Second is fuck my dick Give us another crossword Three down snarky comment after this is your big chance And it starts with a d and it's one two three four five six seven eight nine ten Letters. I think it's don't blow it Maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense that nick would be a expert expert in snarky comments You know gotta snark and that is a snarky comment in and of itself. Yeah, so who who's the real expert? Well, I'm saying you're an expert so it's a compliment. You're a gay sex bird. This is snarky comment uruburu

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying. We're sucking each other's off 69 Is it disrespectful the timestamp? How about this? Maybe we should take bets on what the timestamp? Oh, I'd love to take bets I hope only there was a way we could gamble Oh, I love gambling online perhaps at a website called bet the si It's uh, 41 20 41 20. Oh, that's what adam was gonna say. Yeah, it was But I should have bet I didn't want to say it because I didn't want to I didn't want to chuck taut that Yeah, you don't want to chuck at bet the si dot com the preeminent Sports betting website on the internet with a solid track record record of paying out people on time

And an easy to use fun to use mobile gambling interface Which is what they call an app for some reason. I don't know mobile Yeah gambling interface. It's just got you know what bet the si chill out. It's just called an app. How about that? Scolding the company during their ads I like that. I mean, well, that would be a problem during an ad, but guess what we're not doing. This is part of the show This is just me discussing a website that I use myself. I use it. I use it to gamble money on it recently Right, uh to game. I've never lost money because I've never picked anything wrong because bet the si When you go there if their app is so easy to use you can focus always win. You're always

So focused on the gambling you're not like what is this button? I don't know what this is Fucking up the things you want to bet on in your head. It's much easier. You know, it's in vegas They try and trick you into you know, the loud carpets loud carpets, you know women with your titties neon Yeah, the si it'll actually close all the porn tabs on your computer Really focus on a game doing good gambling choices They offer live in-game wagering so you can place fun bets throughout the fucking game And if you're not really into sports, they do any kind of live event, you know Bet on new years. What number is the ball going to drop out?

That's a funny one. That's 20 to one odds you pick zero. Hey, I can't I can't legally I can't tell you that's the right number But that might be the last number in the countdown. That's right. You can bet on Uh, you can bet on when dr. Ruth is going to die. Yes, you know, you can bet on what a pussy What a pussy looks like how easy it would be to get it to pull yet You could just pop that shit out. You can bet on who the meet the press host chuck is Todd Incorrect Please shut up That's the guy's name. Well, thank you for saying please this chuck suck my dick. Please shut up bet the si

Guys, you got any picks? Well, well, I'll take the calves in game three You will, huh? I'll say calves like on the whatever the line is plus five plus five. I would probably take the calves game three Yeah, that's the only game. They have a chance of winning. They should have won game one. Yeah, and they they the warriors didn't cover game one They did not cover. Absolutely. Yeah, it was they were 12 point favorites and they did not come by like 10 So our pick no No, what the fuck didn't they pull away in overtime? Oh, oh fuck. You're right You're right. You're right, but they didn't cover still. Anyway, uh, yeah, take the fucking calves plus five. That's our lock of the fucking week

Nick Uh, yeah, I don't know if the Kentucky Derby's happened yet. It's already over. All right. Well, if you want money on that congrats You know, hopefully did it on bet the si.com. That's right. Um, I'm betting on whether or not hereditary is gonna be good I bet it is after watching after that We'll be back right here in the short film. So go ahead and go to bet the si.com. Check it out. Use promo code CUM 25 you extra 20% on your Uh deposit and uh extra $200 Credit, you know for for betting. So go ahead. You get deposit that money

CUM 25 capital C enjoy that you lowercase m enjoy that bonus. Enjoy the bonus, you know on uh, actually it's on them It's not really pretend it's on us and you can pretend you're friends with us. Yeah, because I know that's why a lot of you were keeping yourselves alive Which is pathetic Pretty fucking sad because we're you know what you don't have any friends. We don't have any friends either. I have no friends I don't want any friends Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. Stop trying to be my friend Nick we're clearly stop go ahead. You know what go to go bet the si and bet and see how long it takes for I fucking kill myself

I'd be a fun one And we're back. We've been friends for years. We've we've we've been here the whole time. Dude. We gotta fucking do some ads soon Yeah, yeah, we keep forgetting. We should yeah, we should fucking we can make a lot of money. Guess what? We don't care about money. We care about you. So from now on no more ads Just natural conversation natural riffs that are related to underpants and gambling. Well, who knows or whatever It'll be about or maybe we are at 45 minutes and 49 seconds. Yeah, all right back to the crossword Are we doing the crossword on this app? Is that disrespectful of the fans? No, people love hearing it. They love crosswords. They love crosswords. You know how many dms

I get they're like guys do pretty good crosswords When it when are the fucking do a crossword do a fucking maze Do one of those mazes on the back of the cereal box Yeah, all right guys left turn or right turn Shoots and ladders. There we go. Jeopardy clue of the day American quotes in a 1789 letter Benjamin Franklin relates the durability of the new constitution of these two things What are his left ball and his right ball? Yeah That would rule a feet with who was it's like a pair of titties. I love Ben Franklin. It's like yeah Ben Franklin

It's like a french whore's pussy Mm-hmm and her father's cock the darkness of obama's skin I can't believe he was racist. Who's Ben Franklin talking? Yeah, he was racist to obama 200 years ago. Yeah prescient Exactly. Yeah, that's a little on the hundred dollar bill. There's him and then underneath them on a little ribbon in In latin. Yeah, no blackest president is over my dead body So we we all know tgf fucked black There are a lot of them fucked black girls. Yeah, what's her name sally hymning sally fields fields

Um, no, what's this bitch's name deborah of the king and i think deborah messing. No That's not who wait. No, that's us cunt. No No, wait say this first of all was deborah in the in the king and i was deborah messing in the king and i No, no, then that's then not the fucking answer debbie reynolds. No, it starts with a k Probably the character's name. It's not the ax. I don't remember that k k a any I just remember he says kane or kane probably kane. Well, not probably it's a crossword. I don't fucking know Nick, we don't know just go to a different clue. Try to figure it out. I will chill out man. You don't have to freak out over one clue I'm not freaking out. I'm intense dude. You understand man. He's the star calm down

Everyone is fucking chill and being nice to each other and you have to act like a fucking bitch. I'm sorry. I apologize Apology pending. You know what? I call me a fucking bitch. I'm gonna be the bigger man and apologize before you can No, I apologize first. I'm clearly just apologize before that away from you. Guess who's apologizing earlier me Well, I accept your apology as the hero of the show and guess what? I did not mean my apology my tape measure I'm just kind of looking at what my dick looks like. All right. Well, don't feed the thing back in there while the lock is in Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it Thank you. It would be nice to have a big penis

Yeah, stop as the No, I don't have to set the three inches. I do not have to set the three inches. I do not He does. He does. He does Deflect. Deflect. Deflect. I like that we both showed the same note. Yeah, I know That's how you know we're friends That me and Stavros are friends and no one else These people take these things to say seriously Okay, what else we got man, what else we got on the crossword?

What else and then it's three letters and it ends with D and A and D Probably what else question mark? Okay, we're gonna go and oh really good progress on this. Yeah, basically monday's the easiest one Yeah, it's the rich there for the retail is is it monday's the easiest one sunday's the hardest one. Is it? Yeah Sorry, I didn't know there was variable difficulties. Yeah. Yeah sunday the sunday crossword thought Well, I've done the sunday crossword a million times. I've never noticed a million times a million times Number eight down server at a coffee house barista. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. That's easy money. No, that's Yeah

Even a baby could do that A baby wouldn't be a baby bug Don't bring that shit back Don't you fucking dare Damn adam's gay I can't wait till i'm on the cool beaches of australia Getting respect from well, they well, it's the podcast hosts that are going We don't we have decided which guests we're gonna take with us. What are you talking about? I'm the I'm the introducing

All right, ten down random guests four letters and there's a third letter is an a A random guess Stab stab might work. Yeah Take a stab at that pussy Stab 16 across silly prank Antic a ntsc. Okay Yeah, this is 11 down pretty easy get up

Um get up Like close maybe middle four four letters get up. Yeah Four letters. Oh, yeah, and then basra. I guess it's fucking eight across. So it's ris Get up rise What my dick does? Okay, when I see a cute woman and then 23 across is Flyer from flower to flower be Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Um, okay

Keep going All right, 32 down Hahaha Hahaha, what's 32 down 400,000 Hahaha This is so much fun you've been buying that Oh I'm gonna have to hear 32 down

Uh, so true and then it's yeah, so true in quotation. So it's an expression that means so true One two three four five six seven eight nine ten Correct. Any letters so true Totally totally. Yeah, I don't know totally Totally Totally Totally to totally dude. It's so funny. It's because like I remember party like a rock 64 golfer Ernie Ernie else Don't look at the clues. Why I can't go ahead. Yeah, you can't go ahead. Look how much empty space we have here

We'll just put in Ernie else. It looks like the back of Dasha's pussy while you're You can't talk that way. She's your friend. I know she's my friend. Yeah, but she's cool. She gets my girl friend You know what I mean? The thing about Dasha that's cool about like especially the person like in a relationship It's cool to have one person that understands a bit And that's what's cool about Dasha's. We do all types of bits is that she gets bits We do all types of this Bob. No one's Dasha or holding hands while you're in the room No one you never hold her we hold hands all the time. That's not true. A lot of people don't know this but I'm often holding

All Adams in the room It's fine. We're we've been seen together necking Knoodling In the gossip magazine National Enquirer has a picture of us feeding each other ice cream Is it sorbet or sherbet and then we laugh I'm like, thank god. Adam's not here to ruin it. I'm like, I know No, right? It's so nice being friends with you. A little paddle boat

Or one of our classic afternoons out. Yeah, have your laughs All right, let's get serious. All right, come on six across carrying a gun armed armed. Yep Armed and fucked Juris armed and armed and slam. Juris slam puss. Juris. Yeah Farmed 37 down active types tops Or power bottom active types

And it starts with a d doers D o e r s. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah Who the fuck thought of a crossword puzzle? This is a fucking dumb ass idea. Ben Franklin Was it will shorts the first one? Well shorts. Let me see that dick will short cock will shards his pants said that already Dog shelter kennel. Yep Get that This is a measuring tape feels substantial. I like it. Yeah, it's a good measuring tape. Is the clip at the end magnetic? Yes

It's like it's a good one Milwaukee 16 foot Mm-hmm 30 down or still Okay 29 across This is a big one boneless cut named for a new york restaurant Strip strip. No, I've been because it's one two three four five six seven eight nine Porter house. That's got bones. That's got a bone and it ends with its stake as I'm assuming the last Um

It ends with but it's oh steak. So something something oh steak Interesting very interesting Peter Peter. Guys. If you got a Any input, please feel free to write into this. Well, actually the this will come out on P. O. Box five eight two six one 17 23 Brooklyn, New York That's b. R. O. K. C We don't have a p. O. Box at all P. O. Box 2182 Brooklyn, New York. That's b. R. F. K

K. K. C. L 12 Learning how to read Recently Were you guys early readers me? Yeah, actually. Yeah, I like how to read pretty well. I was two. I was like two one Yeah, I was that in my mom's pussy. They would stuff a fucking jugs magazine in there. I was cool cool I was a club international man inside of my mom's pussy. You did graffiti and your mom's pussy legal Yeah, that's when I started tagging new york times likes

Saucer in the sky for short UFO Where is 34? Nice, you damn. This is really pretty easy. Yeah, it is The oh steak. I'm annoyed at the cheap section on a plane coach. So yeah, I would say coach How about that show coach but instead of about being about a coach about a guy that flies coach Whoa, thanks. Do you guys ever watch coach? I used to watch it. Yeah. Yeah with uh, what's his name? Uh, fuck. He was bald craig. Craig. Craig. T. Nelson. Yeah What else is craig in?

He does that twitter poltergeist Yeah, poltergeist with the little girl heleno work who was raped to death by jewish producers. What is that a jeopardy? I don't know about jewish Wait, was that for real? Yeah, god. Yeah, she was anally raped so bad She got like an ass infection that was misdiagnosis like crone's disease and eventually killed her. Oh my god It was on the set of jeopardy. It was on the set of jeopardy at hollywood center studios We named sunset less palma studios my former workplace. Wow And I would go around those studios and just go up to random people, you know

Be like and be like, do you know that the little girl from poltergeist was raped to death on that stage right there? They're like, I'm sorry. What show are you writing on? Is that one of the most you know how they got the term daily double? Uh, no, they would put. Oh, yeah, that's right. They doubled At the same time choo choo choo choo and that's the child rape bonus Okay, and we have an architect from columbus, ohio glenn and uh, you actually have an interesting tidbit about this studio That's right. Alex say i'm a big fan of blind items my uh, my wife who's actually a gay man like me got me into them and we were We were reading one of the other day. The little girl from the movie poltergeist actually was Alex like, oh, we don't even talk about that. That's it. Hold on. She was raped to death here by you

Um, did Chebeck shave his mustache? He did for a couple years and then he grew it back. Fuck that. No, is it back? It's back. Yeah, it's been back for years. No, I think he's on shit. What did Chebeck do before posting jeopardy? He was can a canadian. He's canadan. He was the president canada Uh-huh canadian. Um, he's just in truce guys one of those movies is like cursed and like a bunch of people died from it um Was Alex Chebeck just a tv show host and then he was just like i'm just gonna do jeopardy Or was he like a guy who knows a lot of facts? Uh, he was the smartest man in canada And then jordan peterson now that he left. He was the jordan peterson is the Hannibal lector of canada. He ate people

You think jordan peterson could host jeopardy then no way Well, he's not smart enough. He's not smart enough. No, he's not smart. 56. It's actually a good person 56 down is what? slow slow right She got fucked by all the dwarfs 55 across If you pay attention to dh Disney movies

I like Disney because I watched all the Disney movies is that what happened? That's Jordan Peterson and watch all the Disney movies. Yeah. Yeah, he likes doing like lectures about like Disney and the Bible and stuff. I Like the person George Jordan beaters beat beaters beaters son. Oh, yeah. Does he have any children? No, he's gay Is there a type of gay is there a type of gay where you're just gay for yourself and you jack off in the mirror? Yes, what you are. It's called narcissus. It's called Adam's freedom, but that's gay though, right? Because you're a guy Adam narcissus. It's called Adam's freedom. Why do you don't have to like say things like that? No, I know he chooses to he doesn't have to but he chooses to don't stop. It's okay. No, no, no, it's okay. It's I'm sorry

You don't have to What else we got on the crossword man 48 across mm-hmm 180 degrees from South by Southwest North by Northeast I thought they were talking about rocking out. This is way too easy at that fest. It's not fucks out by Southwest about that Also somebody asked me to shout out fun church, I don't know what that is, but hey fuck it go for it How about shout out the fun church? Oh, it's a guy on my twist. Don't ever dare No, it's my wallet and I'm cutting I'm cutting it up. Someone said it. Yeah, cool. Yeah Yeah, don't ever accuse me of being too scared to shout out something

Oh, that'll work. I said you said you didn't want to do it because you were worried. It was some child porn thing I don't give a shit. Mm-hmm. Did I say that? Yeah, I don't think I did. Oh, I some guys asked me to shout out something Go ahead. I just want to give a shout out to identity Evropa. I Don't know what that is, but he asked me to give a shout out to Identity Evropa a bunch of good guys out there, but she'll blow Evan Williams They all do look like Evan. Yeah, he's a much shorter. He's a specimen that boy Evan's almost not short. He's like maybe I'd say five seven. I'd say exactly a quarter inch Below the short limit. Mm-hmm, but he's buff. So it makes you look shorter. Yeah, that's why you shouldn't get buff, dude

You're gonna look even shorter if you go wider. No, because it's gonna make you look I'm not sure you okay. You can't say that publicly sure you can tell you can say that we're not friends Whatever lies you want, but you cannot call me short on this problem. Oh, I guess we discovered who's actually yeah I was insecure as a young younger person, but now I'm an of an average height. I'm five foot ten I'm five ten you're five nine five ten you're five nine. I'm not one inch taller than you're one you're right Cuz you're the same height we're five seven and a half I'm five eight five nine That is not true. That is not true. Yes, it is true me and nigga the same

I'm gonna talk about hair height. You look like fucking creamer. My hair just does that. That's just we're the same height you're three quarters inches How do you think your hair into growing a certain you also wear high heels and you are wearing high heels? High heels are that is true. You're actually we're actually all the same height But you always wear stiletto here. You're always wearing women's shoes and your breast implants and your nails make you taller It's not women's shoes necklace makes you There are a series of male Elevator shoes

In the 1970s comic, I don't want to shit on him, but but when you'll do the impression of him you talk like this You know I'm talking about Who wears elevator shoes? No, I was pointed out to me and I didn't realize it and the next time I saw him I looked down and he's got custom shoes made that's incredible heels. It's amazing It's the funniest thing I've ever seen to go do open mice Like he's fucking David spade at the premiere of Tommy boy. He's got custom that Elevator hell. Yeah, dude. That is Psychopath. Yeah. Yeah, they make elevator shoes that look at first glance like normal shoes. They make them good

That is so fucking humility. Yeah, it's a no as a short person I can't imagine ever doing you're not short. You're my you're kind of smaller than average I'm sure that's short. Sure. It is. I'm not like it's nothing. No, it's just 5-8 is short Mm-hmm. There's nothing wrong with being short. I feel like in Australia. We're gonna be short. Yeah Yeah, I'm trying to suck some big I can't wait to go to go from come boys to come blokes. You know I'm saying mm-hmm What's someone told me that? He needs to confront you in Australia because you sexted with this girly fucked five years ago. Oh nice Yeah, so get ready for a confrontation. So that's cool. He's gonna throw a boomerang at your big dumb head

Yeah, I do tell him I said tell him I said tell when you when you talk to him tell him that I said to the girl What's up? Yeah, okay? I will and then have you come at Stavros? You're dealing with me too. Mm-hmm He's the only one on the show who's back. I have To go you say whatever you want about in real life. You've had my back multiple times. That's true It's true because you keep getting you keep fucking right. I carried I do get into I get a mouthy girlfriend We have to fight people about I can be a bitch sometimes But you're so the pussy's so good the boy pussy so good. You're hooked on this pussy. Yeah 58 steward dick

If that's a void it that's this is just way too easy. It's the Monday crossword Man, I hate when I think I'm doing good at something and then it turns out to be for retards It's gonna be so funny, but when there's definitely gonna be a guy that gets the New York Times Monday crossword and like plays along with us Yeah, we just start doing these yes like a circular table and there's a picture of each of us like an empty place setting He's like, all right boys. He figures out how to get each fucking audio input to talk out of the fucking Yeah, yeah, you took the channels for a sponsor. There's like god damn it Adams on channel three this episode Oh, that's kind of the ideal way to consume the podcast. It's a friendship simulator

You know what? I might build that like I might sell that to somebody Once I get because you know what I'm doing with the the merch I took all those shirts down because I didn't like the quality they were sending out So I'm gonna do cheap Chinese crap. Yeah, so I'm gonna open the store back up and for a thousand dollars I will build you a cabinet where each of our channels is piped individually to To cutouts of that picture that actually you can sit there with us while we do that is actually incredible I'm sure you can charge like $50,000 No, I probably could sell each one of those for about $8,000

Easy easy money dude because it would have to have there would have to be a separate Multi-channel RSS feed that handles. I don't even know if RSS feeds or mp3s can handle Yeah, split up the channel because you have to be like I don't know enough maybe three three different mp3s No, it could be the same mp3 because mp3s do have multi-channel support. I don't know to what extent And then I mean if you're thinking cardboard cutout, I think that's right center channel. Yeah, yeah I think if you're thinking cardboard cutout, you might be thinking a little small. It wouldn't be cardboard cutout I would do it like I make it out of make a cabinet out of MDF and then get like some kind of big sticker Module module of dick. Yeah. Oh, you wouldn't do like animatronic heads like the Hall of Presidents

That would take that takes way too much. Well, I'm too animatronic. I mean listen, we make money from the show I think we could put a little R&D in there. Yeah, so we can make one really nice dick. Yeah, of course A little R&D and yeah, how about an R&D? You know what I'm saying? Nope? No, not that okay, I Just thought maybe people would like it if it was an R&D I feel like we'll just keep going because this episode is so dumb But I do want to plug my Seattle dates real quick guys. I'm a Pacific Northwest I'm gonna be at laughs in Seattle on the on June 28th at 8 30

Please get those tickets and by the time you hear this the ticket link will be up for Fun House Lounge in Portland That is on Tuesday July 3rd a little pre holiday comedy show extravaganza So please get those also I'm gonna be in Rhode Island on June 22nd a week before that with good ol Doug Key Showed islands were showed Island. It's where I live. I live on I live on showed Island So go to stop comedy dot com slash shows and there's links for all those please come out to those motherfuckers I'd love to see you there. We're Adam. What are you doing? Why are you hiding on the other side of the room? Putting on your makeup. I wasn't now. Let's continue with this crossword. Yeah 40 across some showy blossoms informally

What? orchid Informally, what did you say some showy some showy blossoms? informally It's one two three four five letters the second and third letter la Hmm Showy blossoms informally, it's not orchid This is the only hard one. I guess well the steak one was hard 41 down

It's what the question mark who cares so fuck, but it's three letters. What the ass What the ass? What's the what's the deal? What's the? heck What's the real deal with the hell? What's the big idea? What's no, what's it? Maybe BFG? What's the big fucking with BFD? What's the big fucking deal? Yes, what's the BFD? That's not like a thing. Yeah, it is. You ever heard that? What's the BFD? Easy thing. Yeah, obviously, you don't play crossword. So that's why you don't know how to cuss I know I learned how to cuss from the New York Times crossword will short. Yeah, you know where I learned how to fuck

From the will short's New York Times crossword Who is will short? He's like the crossword guy. That's his whole thing. He makes crossword Yeah, I think he's like a lawyer that was really good at puzzles. That sucks. What a stupid fucking life. Yeah He's probably really happy fuck him fuck. I hope he's not why fuck him He makes a crossword every fucking day. That's hard. That sucks dick You got to make sure all the letters work and all the blues words. They're fucking boring as shit. They are boring They're not boring. They're fun. It's literally just something you do when you're trying to get through the podcast You make two hundred thousand dollars a year for

When you're tired of having to deal with your quote-unquote friend What do you mean quote-unquote quote-unquote? Don't quote me Quote this dick. How about how about saying to a woman like yeah, I'm sorry about your rape unraped pussy Oh Nick was doing scare quotes scare quotes and say that is that what they're called scare? I always thought they were air quotes air, but then people say scare somebody everybody's mad at me for doing black on black face They're called air quotes the fuck what do you mean air scare quotes Well, it's the square scare quotes when they're in text when you when you in text put quotation marks around something to like snarkily Employee like whenever anyone writes like there's so-called comedian. Those are guys scared. I didn't know that was scar

Sarkath can we go to can we go back to where you just said black on black face? Is it wrong for a black person to do black face? Like a light-skinned black person like Drake did black face and everyone's mad at him But like wait Drake did black face. Yeah, he's in trouble right now for they found a picture from like 2008 Where he did black is that not in the art section. It's just that would graffiti with consent I don't know this with consent. We'll see what your New York Times finds a new way to do black face. Yeah, it's Kanye Here's the way you're looking you're looking at it all wrong. It's not that Drake did black face instead of Jewish Canadian man Did black face? Well, that's fucked up. I think we can all agree. I just don't get I mean I

It's it's far be it for me to say but it should be allowed pull this up. I gotta see what the black Yeah, he's doing he's doing wild black. I can't believe Nick you missed this. This was like the biggest news of last week Yeah, it feels like you should be all over. Don't you have a Google alert for any for black things comes up Siri pull up a drink Is it damn, I want sushi dude. Yeah, yeah, I'm done. I'm gonna get salmon avocado I gotta take the biggest shit in the world. You that's the podcast, you know from now on guys We're gonna go as long as possible until I have to shit. I have to piss. Yeah, the bathroom stops the pod not Adams Interjections, what do we have right now? We got to be like an hour 20 hour 15 hour 15

XO Drake Blackface, you didn't see it. No, I didn't see it man legalize it face. Yeah I'm gay. Yeah, push a tee racist tweets exposed after black blackface games. That's it No, I mean push it he had racist tweets push it. He's black as hell, bro Push it to you to Drake. You're a silent on all black issues Just look at Drake. Just look at the picture. It's all about push a tee. Yeah, they had a Push a tee exposed the picture during their right battle Drake explains blackface photo from push a teasing

Oh, yeah, that's where he lost because he apologized. Yeah, never apologized come town rule number one never apologized Actually, that's a me rule. Well, I've adopted it. You've taught me. I probably will apply to gay A little Mazda me I probably would apologize. Yeah, Adam's my protege, but he's more like a Miata, you know, that's good Yeah, I'm right that down so I can say it again My sense gay sense shut the fuck up Oh, man, why don't you go wax off my cock? Get his cock By bonsai I'm ready for a blow job. You didn't see the picture. I saw the pictures man. We were doing a riff about

The karate kid the the gay righty. Yeah, the Carra gay karate ride a gay righty dick Set him up we knock him down any word watch Watch my ass, dude. He's doing the crane kick and then he switches They just lands on about that. I'm doing the brain kick in the brain kick We're sucking cock on top of the yeah, and we're kicking him in the head while he's sucking our dick So that would that would be rude him at the finals of the karate tournament. He sucks that blonde kid's dick He's like what's happening and his coach is like you're gay now. You're off the team and they're like

Copa Kai lose by Forfeit by being kicked off team for being gay Like you did it Daniel You're the best Nothing's gonna keep you down. You're the best Around he's just like wiping the calm off That would be a great try your best and it wasn't good enough and the man's got to learn to take it Take it real hard inside your body. You got to spread out real wide

And if you get scared you'll tense up and that's how you tear your asshole while being raped inside of jail You're the best convince yourself that you want it No amount of karate can save you because they have been locked up for ten years just waiting for some new pussy And that's you I've been waiting so to recap everybody's gonna hold you down and then fuck your eyes To recap an old Chinese man named mr. Miyake Has trained me the art of sucking dick so that I can get back at my bullies Who humiliated me at the beginning of the movie?

Your mom's like we should never have left Jersey Your father said California would do this to you. I didn't believe him. We've been here four hours You're already taking dick sucking lessons from some old Chinese guy Mr. Miyake teaches me how to suck dick I think Southern California His single mom moves him from Jersey to So Cal that's right for a better life Mm-hmm. It is a better life. That's the most depressing thing in the world being a single mom. That's like if we just move this Santa Barbara I'll stop being a fucking whore. It's lovely. I know I won't be a whore that gets beat up by a boyfriend

Out there. It's really not a life for my son, and then he just turns into a meth addict Mm-hmm Santa Barbara is really nice, and I don't think they beat women there. Yeah, they do You just smell like coconut Well, you get beat. That's the difference. Yeah, they do it with avocado, dude Fish California style fish tacos, and this is what Jake says I know everyone is enjoying the circus, but I want to clarify this image in question This was not from a clothing brand shoot or my music career This picture is from 2007 a time in my life when I was an actor and I was working on a project

That was about young black actors struggling to get roles being stereotyped in typecasts. The photos were represented Photos represented how African-Americans were once wrongfully portrayed in entertainment. Me and my best friend at the time Mazin Elsa dig who is an actor from Sudan. Oh, that's not like sucking hella dick. Yeah, so so damn black Yeah attempting use our voice to bring awareness the it's just blackface. Yeah, he's just doing black face Yeah, why don't you just just take the L? Why doesn't he just say I'm fucking black you idiot? Yeah, I'm black I don't understand why yeah, because he's like I say the n-word in every one of my songs Yeah, the same fucking thing because he's I know he's Jewish and he he worries about not being thought of that's problematic to say that Someone with one white parent one black parent parent isn't I know why but but he no, no, it's not problem

I didn't say about all the all the struggles that Drake has had in his life Being a man and I said I mean we know that he's literally stop Well, what every time he leaves his house. It's true. He's following around stores Well, what push it he says which was like every black person with a blog He's more likely to be shot to death by police. We hear that story every day, you know Every single day another writer for the root is murdered by the police It's oh, that's you that's who the police go after blog rich

Rich fat people that happen to be dark even though they talk like autistic white people That's who's getting it, you know, it's not black people who don't know how to blog What push it he said in the song is that his mother got fucked by some guy in a Steve Harvey suit Yeah, and great great Which is a great We got oh this month the Popeye's did he say that that was Somebody in Steve Harvey suit. Yeah, it's it. I don't know those exact words, but he did say Steve Harvey suit Which was like good one. Yeah, you gotta go any else exposing for having a fake son

Well, he has a Yeah, well, then they said it was with a porn star. So then obviously I went on fucking porn hub to see Videos she doesn't have any hardcore videos. She just shows her pussy. Yeah, she's barely soft core She's not a fucking porn star. She's hot. I would fuck her. No, she's a butter face. I like I like a little little She's I mean she's got a big bug fat ass. Yeah, she's a Pog Drake has a secret baby with a Pog I love Pogs named a Donis But you know what it's just gossip, you know Yeah, people in the 90s were killing each other. That's this is an Adam Freeland rap fact, you know

People don't think they should kill each other. I think they should kill each other One of them should kill the right now. They're like, ah, you're it's just whatever Damn, we really had something going Oh that All right, I gotta take a dump and we gotta eat that sushi All right, that's good. All right. Thanks everybody. I'm anything else. No auto bar August 12 whatever whatever funny mom's Well funny mom's this Monday next Monday next Monday when you're hearing this the 12th. Yeah, the 11th of the 12th Yeah, okay, Krista Stefanos on that someone else is on it. Yeah, it's gonna be a good show

And yes, Seattle, Portland and Rhode Island this month go for me guys. Please come out and check those out. Bye. All right, you're You