The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 108 – Sorry

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

sorry i slipped real bad and fucked up the sd card so we had to redo the episode. this one isnt as good as the other one we did please take my word for it

all right and here we are come town classic baby come town classical guess what that means you already know you already know Adam's doing some kind of errand yeah Adam's on the phone having a conversation probably with another man you know that shit's gay yeah I've never spoken to a man on the phone yeah so talk to his secretary and then his secretary talks to me or the vice versa I fell down the stairs and broke the other SD card oh you didn't break it you lost it no I didn't lose it I was physically injured Nick lost it like I was running home that's why that's why the podcast that's

why are the shit is late no it's dumb ass lost no he just had it loose in his wallet and fell out on the street somewhere I was running days I was raining and I was running home we recorded it on Tuesday and for some reason he kept the SD card in his wallet instead of putting it in my room which is a fucking mess and lose it in there by the computer I keep it where I keep everything precious to me pictures of my wife do you have my baby pictures yeah pictures of my wife and myself that I've glued together mean Julia my beautiful wife Julia Vins god damn so yes we had honestly probably the best

episode we've ever done in our lives was slated to go out Wednesday yeah here we are doing a whatever this one actually be better dude I'm excited for it yeah are you I'm tooled up dude I'm about to throw up from drinking too much tea I haven't eaten yet because of my intermittent fasting yeah I haven't eaten either oh but I do you don't do tea or coffee I do a little water lemon water lemon water actually it's over there I want to get it but I'm too yeah you should get back into crystal light I was reminiscing on my fat boy days I used to love crystal light bro it's like it's like it's so funny because I remember

drinking crystal light when I was just fattish yes you're like please work you think the answer is like a different type of snack I remember throwing on just getting a fucking orange flavored crystal light poured it in a big-ass container and then playing madden like oh eight for like 12 hours a day like soft more like sophomore year yeah not even madden oh eight madden oh four yeah I was it I was a sophomore in high school just a fat little kid my crystal light era was younger than that because I was really only fat and like maybe like six seventh eighth grade mostly just seventh I mean I guess I was fat for a while but yeah I

got pretty the goddamn fat hell yeah seventh grade which also funniest I've ever been in my life it's so funny how like that relationship the bigger you get the funnier you are it's a different kind of humor you know you begin to prat falls yeah you know oh for sure so much fun yeah in a little fact I mean that was that is undeniably warped my brain breaking chairs and shit oh my god yes the biggest laugh I've ever gotten is what is when I sat on it it was already broken but it didn't matter yeah fix was in dude that's big breaks a chair best laugh you'll ever get in your life it's funny because I was like bigger

when I was a kid and then I became small and it's weird to make the two yes work in your head yeah it is weird you grow up you're able to push up people around you know you can't throw your weight around a little bit you can't I remember when I was there was a there was some yeah yeah now I just people can just pick me up yeah yeah yeah you know often I just get picked up dude there was a friend came to the show last night she picked me up oh she picked you up four or five feet off the ground scarecrow you I don't know what that oh yeah yeah I got a girl a girl's shoulders and she sucks your dick yeah like your scarecrow

yeah she's a fucking tree we're doing scarecrow stop that stop doing that to me well we got we got a decent bit to talk about I'm starting a new segment of the show called owning the trolls where if you're still on the phone you can step out please you can step out of the room please while we're doing the podcast please step out of the room you might be getting actual serious he might be an actual serious phone call yeah yeah see I don't have serious phone calls nothing I don't have goofball phone calls with my other soundboard friends oh yeah if you call me up and you want to discuss business you better

have that Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard on that do a little bit of business who is your daddy what does he do it's a learning computer I'm a copy asshole my name is detective John Kimball that honestly damn that was one of the most fucking if you don't know about that get the fuck off yeah right log off right now that's what I'm saying what you got a little Sarah's text to me a bunch little text message sir is texting me way too fucking much yes that'll happen she'll get she'll do a bunch of math yeah real math but you know and better means Jewish math yeah new segment called owning the trolls time to own

them you know what I once again the opiate Anthony subreddit thinks that they can sneak in criticisms me and my friends without me they think I'm not gonna see that okay and guess what guys there's these fucking morons think I'm not gonna I don't have a Google alert set up everything that they say every single word and I'll see it and I'll know your worst nightmare time to own them yeah yeah guess what idiots unlike what you wanted we read everything about every single we think about it a lot I gotta get back at you yeah here we go yeah ready I've been actually I had to go to the gym I was so mad first I

teared up yeah and then I I got real upset you know madam you ready we're owning the trolls I guess what trolls I don't know if you saw it but opening Anthony they had they had it's not some not some kind words to say about stavros we believe that fucking shit I don't care I don't fucking care guys post a guy posted his name is rapist with HIV now look I don't know people's cultures that very well maybe his name I don't know where you're from might be from Africa but it seems like that's a joke that seems like that's like a joke name to me is fucked up to begin with yeah number one to have a joke name I've

never tell us who you are just use your name yeah use your real name that's what they're fucking cowards man it is keyboard anyone who uses the internet for any reason is a coward that's the thing I've noticed if you if you dial up well you're about to get dialed down by my knuckles yeah oh yeah if we ever meet in real life and you happen to be smaller by some off chance at least 20 pounds smaller we're fucking you up 20 pounds you got that if you're fucking three or four inches shorter than me and you got some kind of disability you bet your ass otherwise I'm above physical violence in that instance you're

the what you're being childish I'm gonna be the bigger man and decline to fight you rapist with HIV absolutely correct what did you say about stuff they said he's a fat hack and he laughs at everything I say it's fucked up I've never laughed once on this podcast that's Adam yeah that yeah I do that it's me can I go ahead is that it yeah it sounds gayer than usual but yeah that's what it's usually like yeah and they're saying he lost his tooth from eating it's like he didn't lose his tooth from eating lost it from a chicken we lost it from not brushing that was the final straw but yes it was years of

neglect thank you very much and let up to it and poor dental yeah that's exactly right he has terrible hygiene right yeah way to show you know a bunch of stuff about dent like teeth yeah good yeah nice job being understanding mouth stuff no no it's true rapist with AIDS maybe if you didn't spend all your time being so negative on the internet yes unlike me you would know that Teek have more there's many reasons are we calling out all the trolls right now every single troll okay well this is what the show is now the segment called owning the trolls fucking I had a fun running yesterday you want to talk shit

I don't want to talk about my friends yes not a not in my not in Bobby's world baby but up but why don't we get our producer oh that's the other I want to bring up that I guess it was like months ago but I didn't even see it that is a podcast called what are so good what are these podcasts oh yeah yeah they review podcasts which is a hilarious thing listen all right and it's these two like I guess I'm assuming like Gen X or Midwest yeah like 48 year old yeah from from what I can get like you can hear the soft hits under their flannel shirt and their curved brim you know baseball caps just waiting to make Pearl Jam and

Klingon references and they reviewed they reviewed our show and it's if I have every episode of the show could just be chopped up and add their commentary to it that would be the best podcast it's just listening I'm shitting them most retarded shit them clipping it so even stuff that in context sounds retarded yeah you take even that oh yeah and it's like I'm trying to go to the bathroom in my ass and they're like 200,000 people download this show I don't understand it there's no theme music this is a new stinger I've spent hours crafting to explain my anger at this show for zero dollars yeah for zero dollars it's all

about money do you write I don't know why I'm asking yeah I don't know if we'd be doing this if we made zero dollars I would I think I did comedy for zero dollars for for 25 years that is true 25 yeah I enjoyed podcast starting at four I enjoyed being a broadcast is a good I don't resent the audience unless it's rapist with HIV and these unkind words apparently a lot of the our white nationalist fans in identity Europa think that the bug joke is a reference to the term for a Jewish man being a bug man and they yesterday I called one of them a loser on Twitter mm-hmm and then was inundated with bug man jokes Nick

sending them a clue that he is actually a white nationalist he is infiltrated leftist I guess this is a leftist podcast yeah yeah leftist podcasting circles me and Adam we're gonna do a leftist podcast yeah that'd be crazy if that was the reality yeah that'd be so if you were sending clues well that schizophrenic guy on the subreddit that's what his whole thing was that Nick was sending him clues and he was gonna compile a supercut of all the clues that Nick was sending him which I really wanted him to make is it has it been made I think they drove him out of the red I think everyone made fun of well

we're owning the trolls now so let's get a nice own so so ready go I did shout out identity Europa a couple of weeks ago but in a it's a comedy program so I was I don't know what identity Europe is but Pan Europa that little coffee shop up by stand-up New York is that good I love that place get a black and white cookie a nice piece of pizza pie I'm not a big black and white cookie fan yeah me either something about the mixing yeah it's like I do like that they're a part yeah separate message I much prefer sugar cookie and transmission the black and white cookie was originated in the Jewish deli culture and

obviously it's the Jewish conspiracy to promote miscegenation between and mixing between the races in order for Jews to maintain their power and influence over the smart banks it is the Jews are smart about that they want everyone else to make yeah yeah they say well that guy's just insane this rapist with HIV guy seems like a truly pretty level headed yeah mean spirited yeah to say to say that Stavros to make fun of his hair yeah yeah his teeth yeah I'm fat and how dare you and I know how absolutely there is your dad's dick how dare you how absolutely dare you that is baseless I don't know I have plenty of air

yeah choose to cut it short that's on the record but yeah I mean so anyway I feel like we really owned him pretty good Nick wouldn't you say this show does so much good work for so many retarded kids we do charity work pretty much the rest of our black people listen to this show and they forget that the police are just out there waiting to kill him it is true that this is the only the rest only refuge respite that black people have is listening to come down yeah and the opiate Anthony subreddit is trying to take that away from them so fuck because they worship and honor Anthony Cumia who that from my understanding is they love

and agree with it's so funny you were so right about it they literally hate everyone honestly that's what the entire Internet should be I think there's honor I love it so much you go there like there is absolutely everything Jim Norton does yeah they're like look what fucking shrimp dummy tried to eat a sandwich on his porch the other day I mean our fans sort of do that to you yeah yeah I mean they like dissect my girlfriend's Instagram stories and I checked interesting what is that oh bug talk yeah oh that was the thing that was lost on the episode talking about that Korean woman pleading to Donald

Trump to tell Kim Jong-un to yeah yeah cuz he was like well I live in North Korea I had to eat dragon it's like how do you have to eat that seems I I am a rich man and I don't think there's a way if today if I went out and I said I want to eat a dragon fly I live in New York City yeah I couldn't make that happen for myself you got to eat yeah it's exotic why don't we look at it that way how much protein bugs have you know how much Jack do you get chasing down dragon flies with your fucking mouth open yeah well it's probably easier you just grab right out of the air with chopstick oh yeah I forgot can you

imagine how dope she would be at chopstick she can do that she she can that'd be unbelievable yeah I mean it does I guess North Korea does make sense because if you have like an authoritarian regime right you need to protect yes of course and you live in a country where everyone knows karate you should imprison a star yes it's not like America where you can just do it and expect people to go back to playing their tom agaches razor scooters you know they're too busy buying visors in the DDS slides yeah you know playing with glow sticks and going to raves absolutely like candy necklace candy

necklaces you know they can listen babe you know and cuz Chachi yeah listen chat what does he say that yeah yeah what's his name Dennis Miller says yeah listen babe these kids out here going to raves but where yeah hell yeah yeah you think it oh it's cool to uh you know your friends watching Run Lola run on VHS it is a good movie I'm just trying to think what 90s so specific to 1999 listening to you out of touch yeah how bizarre yeah now that's what I call music to mm-hmm oh hell yeah I was a big now boy oh yeah yeah I was big and how does it sound like I was a big cowboy to yeah just out

on the range you know it's our favorite song was on the now that's what I call music all chance to ask us you know right there's no such thing as asked chaps I like an answer just hands so it's redundant you're taking issue what about what about chaps what about dickless champ chaps do those exist do they I don't know I want dickless chaps now that I think about it I don't know what chaps are how boys writing what was my favorite song I don't go home it was Mandy Morris candy I did like that song yeah yeah I was a big Mandy more guy I know I brought this up before but every like once a year I remember that there

was a fat man named Jonathan candy yeah and he died all right Peter real one and that is John you say John candy you don't think about it but John like imagine imagine he's not famous yeah he's like going into the DMV like what's your name sir he's like Jonathan candy they're like we will call the police if you think it's funny to give a fake name to the DMV people my name is actually Jonathan candy trying to open a bank account damn that's his real name that be hilarious we change it for Hollywood yeah I'm gonna change my name is Stevie hamburgers yeah what do you think okay Stevie Stevie hamburgers gotta be

Americanized I can't be stop hamburgers yeah Stevie hamburgers yeah why didn't your family change your name in Ellis Island we have too much respect for do they have to come in throughout they should bring Ellis Island back yeah my family came over at Ellis Island in 82 yeah so did mine yeah 82 really yeah same year that's weird yeah really weird maybe we're standing next to each other in line yeah they're like our sons will never be a friend yeah yeah well my family and my dad was like I'll show you my family very anti-semitic they should bring back Ellis Island just for the renaming not learning people's

names that yeah yeah well my mother you could get a job in 1880 is the guy that writes down things and you just don't know how to spell or read yeah all right Miller they were like they changed everyone's name at Ellis how do we know that wasn't just one guy that was bad at his job probably maybe it was a black woman they did it to my family too I'm not like what's your name yeah like a little bush in the mirror like your name Smith now I gotta take a phone call that happened to me yesterday I'm depot yeah you were I saw you last night oh my god well first of all I went to IKEA to get that medicine cabinet yeah did you

get it so it's like picking picking pole or whatever you could just get first of all all of the all of the medicine cabinets were like special order except for that one it's really nice dude well very happy with it yeah well they were gonna don't let people know that I'm buying the same medicine yeah so I went again like all of them and so it's like oh well cuz you know those are special order you can't just somebody got placed in order for you it's like what do you mean somebody you're wearing an IKEA shirt yeah they're like I mean I guess I could do it it's like yeah so let's do it okay and then okay

babe and then so the guy's like yeah he's the guy's like yeah I was like yeah I just I mean I don't know where the computer is and it's like what do you credible there's just like every single fucking step of the process it's bolted to the floor yeah and then you're gonna add the customer as no we're in the in like the bathroom area and then another guy comes up he's like look here go right here and computer literally right behind man I'm even I even think the look around for a computer then he places the order then cuz I described which cap like mirror I wanted they had no idea what it was and so like you know

I'm like wandering around waiting for him to figure this shit out and then I find the one-on-one it's just down in the self-survey area I'm like perfect so just go get it he's like oh so I should cancel the order then I'm like yeah and it's like he was like upset yeah you can't leave you understand how an hourly fucking job yeah you're just gonna go well they get paid on commission and I can't do oh do that oh yeah yeah yeah there's their hot sales yeah so I go down and then push units it's a aisle 20 been 19 right so I'll 20 21 been 19 yes and it's like they're just like boxed up it's on a pallet and it's not

even high off the ground it's like you know I levels right there but it's a whole pallet it's all like Saran wrap so I was like sorry I got an email from Hollywood Handbook he says Hollywood Handbook was wondering if come town would want to do some kind of plug promo trade with them we just did it yeah I guess I have no fucking idea what it is but everyone says it's funny name who the guy from Hollywood Harvey Weinstein no mm-hmm that other guy it's pretty funny Bill Irwin yeah you know what else I what other podcasts I listened to I was driving up here was dough boys that's a good honey dude yeah it's all about me

Nick does that podcast yeah I'd literally not listen to any podcast it's funny I don't listen to do and I feel like what I wasn't a devil Nick Weigar oh Nick Weigar yeah well anyways let me go back to complaining about this black black people we're trying to be New York broadcasters you're right I just but I'm trying to get on the good graces of the Anthony Kumiya subreddit yeah our slash Anthony Kumiya fans yeah oh yeah oh man not even the opiate the guys that were too racist for our opiate Anthony anyway so it's aisle 21 been 19 like I was saying anyways so it's just I go up to the lady and I say you know well now

everybody's on their phone what are you looking at here I just got a text from Jonah no the Washington Post the post most 13 bald eagles were found Adam's reading an article about going missing no I had a text that I just looked at your background is picture your dog and your girlfriend yeah my my background is a picture of Ian bombing yeah you always go irony receives got that receives got dead in the back yeah yeah yeah yeah go play laser tag I think they canceled laser what that's what Deb said good I wanted to go play laser tag I think they're just doing a bar but I mean honestly good they should cancel I

will be inviting laser tags David the beer nerd to and every party you hang out with him a lot no but it was really funny dude Nick you missed it but he was sitting in the front row funny mom's it stopped I was standing behind him and he was playing games I was playing like candy crush something to play games David David who Eisenberg oh yeah he's played games on his phone in the front row of funny mom it was a pretty funny visual but whatever I don't understand this off like a promo swap it like we just did it we just did it we just I don't know but like what what a bizarre transactional thing the hey whatever we

mean whatever don't be a coward I'm not a join with me on I don't give a fuck okay I just don't care I think it's fine if we do that I know I think it's fine too but it's I mean I've never right should we like mutually decide to publicly like each other with that I don't know it just seems I heard that it's a very good I hear yes I hear it aside from that everyone says that it's a very funny podcast and I'm sure it is I've never listen but if I'm gonna plug any podcast I'm gonna plug the low post podcast Zach Lowe yeah excellent job he does but anyway going back to Doughboys yeah they they went to Golden Corral and

just talked about it for an hour and it seems great yeah they go to like different shitty restaurants right can we just start can that become the show dude I would I've been saying for years I want to take your ass to fucking Chinese buffet let's go let's get our little leather daddy outfits on get kicked out of Chinese buffet for being too gay I would love to do that he said do not you can't be so gay you can't keep doing gay shit you're sucking my nipples just emptying the soft serve machine into my own ass I love that that is an element of Chinese buffet that was the thing they're complaining about on that boy

what are these podcasts are like every joke is just something going into somebody's ass yeah they played like a five second clip of my podcast where I just talked about your stand up or my poop yeah my stand up yeah and they're like yeah this it is so funny it's like well you can imagine what their stand up would be and it's Adam on stage doing that thing we're just says a word a million times which is like just objectively it's bullshit I think it's very funny we don't yeah we don't post down the house anyway so yeah the other thing they were like okay first of all they don't say their names at the

beginning of the podcast yeah hey they don't say welcome to the party they don't say don't you have no idea who these guys are and then they're like and my guest today Andy the guys like yeah I'm back who is this both these guys sound like they've been waiting for something to do since blockbuster clothes yeah so I didn't stop laugh supercut uh-huh it sounded better than the soundboard yeah it sounded pretty good I mean to be fair I like I do feel bad for people like that they're like I followed all the rules and I'm still not successful yeah and they're like is we're kind of like the Homer Simpson Frank Grimes right

they don't have a song they got mad we didn't have a song at the beginning which we did guess what if I didn't want to get sued here's a song so come on dick because I'm gay nice let me fuck your asshole I guess do that one I think it's pretty good anyway bin 10 box 19 yeah let's go back to IKEA oh yeah I'll 21 bin 19 yes babe you got to be drunker than fucking constant the notebook yeah yeah when Hannibal's having a chat with Queen Elizabeth right brother in the bathroom of the Lou yeah yeah oh I love that I think that people have those kind of yeah yeah remember when he did Monday night football he was like that

reminds me a Charlemagne I love when he was like hey on Tuesday I'm gonna have some mean ass jokes about Michelle Wolf and she's like give me give me five days to write these jokes about a ginger it was really hard to make fun of by the way just hilarious right her voice alone it's like come on Dennis yeah write some roasties yeah she looks like a like a salamander that was trying to eat red pubes there you go that's better than anything he's ever done you know she reminds me of a fired of Michelle you're going down and Netflix the entire organization so why are you worried about shots being fired so I like Michelle

Wolf yeah but I like I like ruining we firing guns we shoot shots anywhere except for at good people and just without recklessly shooting off fine my mouth would handbook how about that would that make you feel better I didn't say fuck Holly wow that's fucked up yeah that's my fucking dick Hollywood handbook there we go that's what I'm looking for would suck book yeah how about that you fucking gay motherfuckers so suck my dick unless you're actually gay I didn't mean it as hate speech yeah is that a gay show we should be careful probably is I don't know I mean they are probably I'm trying to be in the next Star Wars maybe I

can't be seen saying homophobic things if I'm trying to be art I'm trying to replace R2-D2 is one of the robots but I still look like a man yeah I think that would be good they're going black your body painted is you're fully naked you just have white paint on the top my hard Rd to yeah that's a that's a really fucked up thing you know you I would be willing to bet that you're not at 30 minutes yeah we are no I got a timer on my phone we're literally three two one guess who likes gambling what would you be willing to bet stop and where would you bet well if I was willing to if I was had to bet that Nick is if he's

going to be in the next Star Wars I would bet no and I would bet it bet DSI calm hello mother fucking most premier ass fucking website for betting in the universe yeah wouldn't you say Nick I would I wouldn't say the most mother fucking I wouldn't disrespect yeah I wouldn't disrespect a website that's been in business for over 20 years why I didn't even know websites could be that old yeah they can be that old do they do good ass payouts they do good ass payouts they got easy to use mobile app mm-hmm mobile interface play bet win easy use it's fun you guys have used it yourself oh yeah the most recently to

gamble on the World Cup which is either happening now or over it's going to happen it's never gonna stop and it lives stop he's number one lock of the century bet the Russians to win yeah Putin is fixing this shit bro how much money have you won off that I'm one big bet on the calves like 200 bucks but I launched a little more on the sixers the house always I bet for Iran to win game one and won 1.3 million and it's not just sports you can bet on like how many times is Donald Trump gonna how many goofball things is Donald Trump gonna say well he's genociding those children so you can have fun just just stuff like

that some levity right yeah they'll offer live in-game wagering you know so you can I don't know you know yeah in the middle of the game you know ahead maybe you can hedge your shit maybe you're a procrastinator yes you know you're trying to get a little juice on that on one quarter and maybe boring what do you guys picks is pixies pick the Russians for real that is my real pick I look at think I don't think they will I think they will do I think every time a dictator gets a fuck at the World Cup they always they're now getting through the groups yeah that is true anyone and then Argentina Argentina yeah yeah I'm

gonna bet on them I always bet on America you want my picks yes bet on America yes hell yeah American dream team we send all from all of our the our top soccer teams yeah the U.S. soccer players FC FC that should be right the U.S. soccer player I guess the teams don't have names yeah yeah yeah it's a national team it's a national team there's been your red bulls there's FC Dallas Dallas there's there's real Salt Lake that's the funniest one what the frail Salt Lake I think in Salt Lake there's actually a vibrant immigrant anyway there is real mean royal it means well yeah Real Madrid is the Queen's

team they're also the racist team can you imagine the Queen of Spain they used to throw good-ass pie a pussy anyways go to bet the aside comm use promo code CUM 25 capital C lower kids UM 25 you had 25% on your deposit $200 start betting today make some money make some fucking scratch bitch and yeah I guess we get to talk about about these immigrant kids yeah we had some good takes before they're free dude they're free now yeah Trump sending them from the baby concentration and I get it the regular ones Trump said that this the the only way this is gonna end is if the Democrats fucking change the law the

law that they made by the way yep mm-hmm it was Obama's idea it was good it was good it's good well Obama did have detentions I think I really was deported more people than any press every other president combined yeah for sure yeah but the difference was the infrastructure for Trump he wasn't I know Obama wasn't separating the kids and I think you study the Holocaust any other atrocity in history and nobody has a problem with the gas chambers no prisons no problem is that they separated the children from their parents yeah a universally exactly and so like no one is saying don't imprison families no one's saying no

one's saying that which it would be unreasonable to expect us not to just immediately throw people yes chicken wire jails it used to be Walmart's yeah you know just let the kids get raped with their parents yes well their parents watch while their parents watch mm-hmm yeah don't separate the family that's true my family sir good sir of my president sir 45 sir yeah 45 mr. cheese doodle and cheese I feel like if you say sir like that you should there should immediately be a very tiny knife that's inserted into your anus yeah real quick just to remind you that you're not you know sir Thomas more whatever whatever

you think this exchange is I will die but you're right sir get a fucking you know I would you should lose how much self-awareness do you have that you think you oh sir like that guy with the you said Corey Lewandowski the guy where he's like we have a girl with Down syndrome that's been separated from her parents which like you know the separations are bad it's bad it's a bad situation I understand why like you think like oh and she's retarded yeah you know sure and ask you being like yeah yeah it is wild but I mean it's like oh can you believe the guy that got kicked out of the campaign for like beating a woman

is like saying womp womp well the thing is now that he's been kicked out of the campaign for beating a woman who's now been hired by CNN and he was like a Harvard fellow it's like yeah oh yeah it doesn't end your career at all you must say they got Harvard fellows how about Harvard fellows yeah yeah yeah yeah no no association with Harvard University it's a gentleman's club just out here in Cambridge it's we rented out a storefront with insurance money it's a place where you can chill with smokes of gauze play PlayStation 2 yeah oh yeah mad no seven with Michael Vic remember that year dude he was in unstoppable stop

oh that's that's another fun was that on the last one that we got lost that was like the executives club or whatever that you were gonna do the exact remember that no just some fake oh yeah yeah it was like a birch box for on yeah yeah it is fucking the something society yeah yeah yeah yeah that was a good day I'm it's a shame we lost that episode we actually yeah the one we lost was the pretty good one yeah yeah I don't know this but I mean it was definitely to hype up it was probably a six point eight out of ten that's great for me six point nine come on yeah six point eight nice come on well I guess

let's go let's get some riffs going seven wet naps these are on the table you know I don't understand what what babe what is it you want to put a diaper on your face yeah I do yeah enjoy the wings you can you can feed yourself stuff your gullet like your Igor Sravamov at the Council of 18 you know you just you just marched from the Volga River all the way to the Lou yeah and then what you got there you have in your wings down in Constantinople the battle of hermopolis just happen oh yeah you know what I want I want to rub a diaper on my face and that's what a wet nap is folks got him also sounds very similar

to a racial slur it'd be funny if like he just didn't know shit and all the references are just like schizophrenic which is basically what it is yeah who does it matter that he knows anything is he smart like why the fuck does he know all that shit he like read a couple books yeah oh also in the last episode I said Einstein wasn't smart oh yeah that was good he sold it all from a Greek guy yeah he was not that smart yeah that's a very new math he just knew math well well he didn't get good grades in school right yeah that was just we'll do a quick take recap yeah pictures of the immigrant kids crying Adam said it was

good Adam I went pro-niquin con so for all the identity you have ropa guys my feelings is how do we know that's not a shitty kid oh that was true that was a good take yeah because I mean children cry all the time yeah for all I know that kid could have been demanding to run the concentration yes dad was like yeah we it's snack time yeah you know so a child crying child doesn't do much for me good point you know take what happened oh yeah Chris Hardwick oh yeah yeah the text messages came out what were the text I don't know something happened with that fuck Chris hard there was some development I'm sure I had that job I

can't work there it is can suck my dick irreplaceable who could not that talent who could do that job of talking about a show after the oh anyway I think he's innocent I didn't read any of the details I agree he's innocent but you know folks I just got to say immigrant kids dying good this Chris hard chuck guy yeah you know I've been a fan is for years I've no I listen every every show on the faggest podcast I think he's great there's no way he would do something like this guy who I definitely know we're all my nerd something Chris Tardwick oh yeah Chris Tardwick that was a good riff welcome to APM that

doesn't have bet he doesn't have the letters yeah oh he doesn't have the letters we're talking we're talking dead on a oh yeah he's like watching talking dead on AMC is that right yeah man that's not my memory shit that was a good episode yeah two days ago yeah god damn it hey man it's all right no this sucks yeah no it's I hate losing episodes I'm sure there's no one that's pissed off about us you know well let me tell you if you find the fucking like little Samsung SD card anywhere in the New York Metro and you want to pop that bitch into your fucking you have a secret episode hidden so actually you know

what I intentionally lost it and now there's a scavenger hunt in New York to find the missing SD card with the hidden come-town episode where I did Chris Tardwick it was groundbreaking bit it's certainly not just the same fucking Down syndrome guy I've done a million times because here's the big joke he doesn't know how to read get this that retarded guy character is illiterate damn you are watching a master at work I guess whites are dying good white people yeah white people we mean they're dying well the population of white people has declined for the first time where it's statistically significant now

oh so we're like how like they're just not having a mortal words of he who shall not be named because of them or no the guy I bullied into becoming a librarian oh white genocide I can't wait well maybe maybe it'll be good is it because we're fucking white like don't you feel like we owe it to the world no no it's literally there's been like a huge uptick in like interracial crime and like white people are just being murdered in numbers what yeah no I mean I just read the New York Times article it said that low low fertility rates and then also that there's like a huge number of black on white killings it says it right here

I mean yeah you can't make this yeah I heard I heard date Dayton Ohio is just a war zone you can't go outside no on average they're black zombie he's reading directly every six minutes so white person is killed by a black 13 and he says this is this is to change the demographics as he pulls the trigger as he pulls the trigger of the gun that only he's allowed to have by law now because we're Tay we took all white people's guns away fuck yeah did you see the Trump through starburst at Angola Merkel what a king that's pretty you know sometimes pretty funny concentration camps but then sometimes thank you for

the starburst it is so funny that he's just eating starburst like an official ass government like world meeting Angola Merkel how about Angola Urkel I fucking nerd should we tell him that yeah that I did that did you do it yeah and not only did I do it but I just did a Steve Urkel impression like two seconds ago prior to you saying that so you didn't listen to me I did not listen I mean did I do that'd be that'd be fun like if Steve Urkel did the Holocaust did I do that that'd be a fun episode of Family Matters he goes he does a time machine did I do that yeah Urkel finds out that the Jewish guy that

owns the house that the Winslow's live in is like raising their rent and he's like I'll help you Larry like Steve's experiment went terribly wrong I like the idea that before that the Holocaust had never happened yeah the first half of Family Matters is in a world where there's way more Jews there's no World War two it just never happened at all the second half is our universe as we know it yeah shuts out to Steve Urkel Stefan or Kel Steve oh yeah I love that's good I love I'm gonna suck a dog's day I'm gonna staple my nuts to my leg Lara look there's a rocket dildo in my ass I love you Lara

womp womp so what is the story a girl with Down syndrome got separated from her family yeah and I think one of the fathers that lost his kids got committed suicide I mean I don't understand how the fuck you like work for I I don't believe I really just don't fucking understand it's it's just scary if you want like what like what if you want to torture animals I don't understand like but the regular cops are racist to begin with that's right it's the more racist no joke do you have to be how the fuck how the fuck are you doing that job physically no no I mean how the fuck are you doing that job and not having like

a severe fucking crisis you think we want to be in a stopper you think nobody wants to be I just don't get like I don't know that one there's no way you don't have any kind of like historical context you don't understand there are a ton of people that don't have that context or that think they're racist as far as they think it is good it's a funny thing they think they think it's hilarious like Pete yeah when somebody was like posting shit of like someone like from Baltimore posted like a thing which like can you believe what we're doing and then there were people that were like yeah I see you but I don't see

the only problem I see is it you know they're still breathing wait what's the story with a like they took immigrant kids that were separated and brought them in New York City yeah and like drop them off in the Bronx yeah like an orphan and DeBlasio is like what the fuck are you doing like where what do we do with you straight up steal it is kidnapping yeah it is kidnapping yeah rocks yeah it's really dope this is wild and then there was that cop we brought this up in the last episode there was that cop in Texas that was raping four-year-old Mexicans and then telling the parents that he was gonna deport them if they snitched and

isn't aren't these people like asylum see damn isn't there some kind of diddler Texas Ranger that's Chuck Norris just like hey listen I I gotta stop in this daycare center and he's pulling his dodge his Dodge Ram truck I wish I knew anything else about the Walker Texas Ranger no way I can I can walk that there's a black guy child Walker child walker Haley Joe Osmond was on it and he had AIDS there's that famous Conan clip was like I have AIDS Walker remember that Walker Texas stranger underage Walker Texas stranger danger Walker Texas that's not bad it's not bad underage Walker Texas underage yeah okay got him

okay so yeah that take that that guy that's a rapist yeah and he you should see a picture of this guy yeah I guess that's why everything's bigger in Texas because it's in a child's hands he's like 600 pounds what's the deal with pedophiles being 600 pounds what do you mean there's like like I'd say stop you want to feel this all fat people we're doing a mugshot of a pedophile they're like 900 pounds remember we were doing Bobby Kelly's podcast and was John Morris was there and like you told some story about showing a dick to a kid and he didn't realize that you were talking about you also as a child yeah I was a little kid

yeah like that guy was about to be he was about to get up out of that chair and fucking just throttle you look in his eyes and I wouldn't have stopped him either that's a big dude first of all imagine telling a story for laughs about about being a grown man a child your penis looking like you know and it's like your this is your budding comedy career you go and you know what did you're like I showed my penis to a child what I thought it was yeah I was trying no the story was I was trying to convince yeah this guy looks at the stuff he's like you showed your fucking dick to a kid and he like I swear to God it was

like I mean if he had not like been able to clarify it like no I was also five that would have been it for you I mean lights out now I would have fucked no you would have done shit I would have fucked you would have done shit because that's not the kind of that's not the kind of fight you can win you can't say I showed my penis to a child and beat somebody to fight if he wins the fight then I think well he had just told the story about like his baby daughter like being in the hospital followed it up when I showed my dick to a kid whatever man sometimes you got to do what you got to do yeah and that's being a child and

trying to get a kid to show each other show you his dick because my mom told me not to show anyone my privates right that I had a whole period of being like a four-year-old flasher yeah yeah the fuck else were we talking about hmm I feel like I really I really thought we get more mileage out of the starburst thing you know oh the starburst thing wait what did he wait hold on should we go back to that Down syndrome girl that was separated from her family and do an impression of her yeah but how about this we could do an impression of her father and the ice agents tell him what has to be done to get his daughter back

yeah hey alright we're gonna let our only female ice agent interrogate this man have you seen that porn we've talked about this before porn there's like a porn whether it's like sort of oh I saw hereditary by the way yeah would you think I liked it I disagree with your do you thought you thought it was scary well nothing really scares me yeah yeah I don't have fear in my heart like I used to get scared I got scared there's not a fucking shred of worry or fear yeah I fear nothing in fact I will confront every each and every member of the open Anthony don't you dare and by the way guys we are not mad at anything we

just think it's fucking yeah I know I am pissed are you I think it's just funny I'm really mad dude and you know what here you probably didn't consider this I cried myself to sleep last night hope you're happy maybe is that what you wanted that we guys wanted me that me to have a moment where I thought maybe I don't deserve four hundred thousand dollars a year is that the feeling you wanted to inspire in me because guess what that's what it did you hurt my feelings oh Nick you're not on Twitter but there's this Twitter account called the racism dog yeah I saw it got in trouble because it barked at a story

about a black woman committing a hate crime as if it were racist and people like that's not racism and then and then they deleted the account because it was too much emotional labor they did a post about how they were taking for quote tweeting and going wolf to do too much emotional labor to do some to do some self-care what a fucking loser which anytime someone says I don't care and they're not talking about jacking off like fuck off I love Jack no they're talking about like recovering from their narcissistic injury where they take two days to be like you know what those people are wrong I am better than

everyone else oh so what did you do what the fuck you literally just it would go wolf it sucked that account sucked dick all accounts suck there's nothing good on Twitter I think some there's some porn stars the NYC Guido voice is good God rest his soul thank you yeah I like the porn stars to show their titties more yeah I like that they can just show that like it's great I love that I'm proud of Twitter for not censoring nipples are you you're proud of them I'm very proud playing pornography yeah I'm proud of that company for peddling pornography what do you mean peddling that's what they're doing they're

peddling they're not I don't think they're doing that's what you are dude you're a peddler and I love the phrase I'm a monger not a peddler peddling is awesome I'm a monger of goods the little pedal I'm a mongrel of goods you want to muggle the stick of course do you guys want to see the John Gotti movie after the hell you know I gotta run home I'm gonna I'm gonna see it with Matt and Will no I can't but we should watch it we should watch it Matt Matt and Will and I have started a movie club recently you guys nice man why don't you brag you just said that you that was you Matt and Will that we weren't invited no I'm trying

to get you guys really invite me said we're not I'm saying you guys can join thanks bro that's really nice of you please please fuck you fuck you Adam apparently the John Gotti movie is a piece of shit oh I can't wait to see it I do really want to see it I was thinking if we have to double up we should do it after then watch the movie then do we should go watch the movie then come back and do do it I have to do work today I can't what do you have to do I have a chop chop vegetables no but I have I'm actually a comedian who has dates that he has to prepare for I have to go what are you gonna prepare yeah we have spots

you forget that that means spots at three means stop fucking I'm headlining shows me and stop both spots we do comedy I'm in Seattle I'm important we go out we do comedy spots we don't just say poo poo kaka we're over again for same seven minutes we've been doing for the five years we've been in New York so that's what I have to do yeah professional comedian Lenny fucking Bruce Lenny Bruce I am Lenny Bruce that's my Lenny Bruce Willis oh that's good yeah what about Lenny Bruce Bruce Lenny Bruce Bruce oh my god that's amazing hold on well done dude that might oh man it's a shame I'm too tired to

riff that out that would be pretty hungry that would be the fucking best yeah that's my those the other somebody complaining about you on the right they're like stop fucking ends every episode earlier he starts talking about what he needs to eat or that I mean that's pretty fair every 45 minutes and I start getting hungry yeah okay wait let me Bruce Bruce no you can't let that one die but just a reference here we go oh shit I know let me Bruce sucks yeah yeah his words he said cocksucker that's what got him in trouble yeah he'd go to jail for his words Lenny Bruce is one of the most overrated comedians of all

time yeah he's I mean he's not good at comedy but it was important to go to jail for cussing that's pretty cool I've gone to jail for cussing no yes for being gay for but also cussing it while doing it oh fuck well you fuck my ass in this Chuckie I was saying the F word while having gay sex in public yeah I don't know a single Lenny Bruce maybe maybe we go the opposite way where it's like a Bruce Bruce bit but told like a very self-serious Jew yeah you know what's a Bruce Bruce bit I don't yeah everybody's got an uncle that laughs without cracking a smile I can't do a Lenny Bruce impression either me neither it's

like when I was like in when I was like 18 I like would listen to it and be like yeah this is the good shit I mean I listened to a shit ton of Bill Hicks when I was that age but Lenny Bruce Lenny Bruce never did that for me no I didn't like most of it I was like I should these people be locking arms and protesting cemeteries like Bill Hicks is almost indistinguishable from Tom Myers of course he does but there's nothing funny about Bill Hicks anymore yeah I'm sure this he's got some I mean he has a limited body work the guy died when he was like 33 or whatever yeah let me got some serious

ass cancer right I don't know yeah I got dude yeah yeah government got good thing that happening to us one of us is probably I mean I mean it's probably me I had a tumor in my jaw thank God it was benign no I mean I think that there's some psychos gonna kill you you think no dude I'm sorry to get paranoid about what you think someone's gonna murder him no one cares that much about you Adam I don't know dude they really don't they care just enough to mock you but not enough to kill you I don't know you think someone's gonna kill you how would they do it they go sit next to me in the movies all right let's share me the

entire movie this is boring we got to get some risks going here the new urban power brokers business day New York time what are that what what are those what are that where that I don't know I get from this illustration it looks like Amazon's making robots to destroy Newark oh fuck we can't let that happen not that'd be pretty sweet dude if you saw robots destroying Newark I love the people that like the people that move this shithole towns like Newark or Trenton or whatever they're like this place is gonna like people are done gentrifying New York City which still has 25 30 years to go like I mean it's

never gonna happen but you think we'd like you're talking about all five boroughs yeah I mean Manhattan's pretty much entirely gentrified sure Manhattan it well no I mean there's some spots on our east side yeah but those are like yeah not all of Harlem yeah oh the neighborhoods so the black people are insignificant to you in terms of like the in terms of the people are worthless no no square miles that they're insignificant I'm just talking about well I hope we're food I hope all of our black listeners that need this show to overcome don't aren't put off by Adams egregious racism I know you're just

pandering to the opening Anthony subreddit I know trying to become the aunt of the show their favorite I love everyone love Anthony come here do you what about that other thing we're doing cruising there wasn't an article about yeah let's not go to the paper what's going on in your life Adam you love talking about I I don't I don't want you carried some bags the other day you guys anything for you've been telling us about this bag do you how hard the bags were to carry bag I'm not I'm never talking about my life again what kind of bag what what kind of bag was it what are you talking about you carried some

bags of gravel oh that's cool yeah I've been telling about how heavy yard for for this damn bro out on what bags you think I was talking about that you were upset is there a bag that you carried like some very personal shit should we get back in the TI 83s yeah you play Phoenix on those rules do you guys play it now of course yeah I used to cheat all the time you know a game I love to fall down yeah fall down was too much for me though I love Phoenix though do you know bear wait fall down was too much for you it's so simple yeah two simples overloads me when you have such a fucking complex mind dealing with the

very simple can remember that short circuit it you know I mean remember that skiing game for Windows 95 which one downhill or whatever it's called that was good too yeah it was called there's like a yeti how about what those 90 guys and it's guys oh yeah we had a couple of good guys it's Ray guys and he rides the fellow Vader the fellow Vader yes take the stairs bitch god damn it I'm so mad we lost that episode I was so excited for this one because I thought it was gonna be good and now it's a goddamn shithole because I'm fucking mad about that bitch and Ikea that will get the goddamn forklift to take that

back we never finished it so we're back to go but no I go so I go up to go up to the information desk and there were blue shirts at the information desk and I'm like yeah I need something I need to get a thing and then they go oh you need to talk somebody in a yellow shirt it's like what is this fucking distinction I don't understand why I have different shirts for different roles what the fuck is the point of the information desk set so I find a lady in a yellow shirt and I'm like hey I need something taken down she's like what you mean you need something taken down I'm like I don't know how to make it any more fucking yeah

yeah I really don't yes and then you know that she's like well I'm not gonna be coming down or whatever and the other guy comes up I'm like all right this is what I need and I show him I'm like so whatever the fuck needs to happen that I get this yeah the guy yeah the guy sees that I'm like losing my temper and he's like I'll take care of it I'll take care of it he walks over I'm like that he's like oh okay well see those those won't come down till tomorrow and I was like what the fuck are you talking yeah yeah yeah and he was like if they don't have them on the floor then they're sold out I'm like mm-hmm you have inventory it's

right there and pointing at it yeah sell it to me because you won't get a fuck it you won't have somebody take that pallet down he's like yeah it's not gonna happen till tomorrow unbelievable shit yeah they list that they have inventory on the website doesn't say sold out and it's all the way in fucking red hook which for our non-Brooklyn listeners very difficult very far away with public transit impossible you know we're gonna take a I'm just trying to buy a fucking medicine cabinet same one as Adams yeah no copy it was a bit actually it was not a bit I have a different one I have a bit of penis

you can't suck my whole penis I guess I should say a couple people on the reddit are saying that if you find Adams commercial you get to replace him on the show I have not made that promise I do love the bit it is very funny don't find Adams commercial don't find Adams yeah you don't get to replace him but you do get to suck me off yeah they're gonna do it well introducing a new segment on the show I like to call tit titty talk titty talk I love it I'm here for it let's go fellas you know what I like to see is a big old paratits yes brother go off I'm with you this is it's seen a move around the shape of

them now do you like what how heavy a hanging titty do you like do you like them high and tight to the knees I want to see that bulge in your pants no bulge in your pants because your tits don't hang that well trash trash you're not you're not being invited the wife central I want you the bedroom I want titties in your pussy that was on the last episode it was god damn it look somebody please please please find that this always happens every time we fucking lose an episode it's good we got to replace it it's just absolute dog I was okay for the first 30 minutes but everything after that hey man mama Mia I

guess it's you know people just stop listening to it yeah hope give him some shit up front people were like I think concerned after as they should be they were like sending me messages like make sure you think okay yeah what is it because you sounded depressed I am depressed and then like I've been depressed whole fucking time yeah nothing has changed that's nothing's everything's the same everything's oppa gangnam style everything's feeling gang them that guy sigh sigh he had a second song with Snoop Dogg what the fuck is this is that art section first of all what the fuck is going on with the art

section yeah it's ridiculous it says one in here that's like gay sex used to be elicit now it's art cruising yeah cruising getting fucked in your ass by strangers in the park also Robert maple Thorpe like made pictures of that shit like for 30 right it was on the was our now it's a product yeah it was art back when it was subversive now it's something that you can go to college for being gay the green getting my ass stuff old question mark you mean fabulous on Instagram and then it's this Lynn Slater this 200 year old bitch I'm not 20 I don't want to be 20 but I'm really freaking cool that's what I think about

when I'm posting a photo sounds gay it sounds stupid of course you want to be 20 yeah nobody wants to be 78 years it would be so much better to be young than old yeah I don't I have no problem with my diminishing status in society and the fact that I'm gonna die soon that's why I have an Instagram account where I take pictures of myself all the time this is just what every fucking millennial is gonna turn into this is just some wild fucking narcissist born in the Nazi era that everyone will be like this you think so yes are you 70 70 is the new no it's a railing against selfie culture right now is that what you're doing that

selfie culture what are you talking about some old bitch on Instagram he's mad at her what you know you leave the room you're not paying I didn't leave the room I got water I left the room functionally look I know it's all the same open floor plan I know but this is still the living room once no this is not this is the breakfast nook when you cross the fridge you're in a different room breakfast nook and that is the kitchen when you cross the fridge you're in a fucking you're in the fucking kitchen thank you no worries man I got you we're the property brothers Dory Jacobson 83 you don't have to be perfect to have

confidence you can still show your cleavage without being told to cover up this is a 94-year-old that sounds disgusting she said it's like I would see some old titties yeah I receive a lot of happy messages saying please live longer I want to get older like you you know who didn't Anthony Bourdain he had the right idea mm-hmm okay bed that's cool yes yes that's right Chachi okay what is Chachi he says I think from that show Joni loves Chachi what is there was a show is calling people just two seasons yeah 83 off of happy days I think it was a spin-off of Charles in charge no no no Charles in

charge totally different show starring the same guy Scott gay yeah yes Scott Scott Gayo is in a PAX television series replays a doctor it moves to New York mm-hmm really I don't know PAX is that one of those like weird like like bunny ears channels you get like for free you mean the playboy like 11 okay we got we got what we got a great a idiot yeah you fucking idiot I mean the playboy channel now PAX television was like the PAX television was like the best television station of all time dude I was just talking about this last night just at people oh you know what I was it I was on the in the West Village I went

to that cafe Reggio or whatever and that's where you get all your weed did you smoke Reggie I smoke a head no you don't smoke heads you smoke mids bitch why is it called a head shop right anyway your cafe Reggio guess who walks in I'll give you 20 guesses as to which celebrity walk for Sutherland no Donald Sutherland no let's sigh from ganglip saw no here here but you want maybe a net Ben I'm gonna net Benning no let's you ask that Genie that can guess whoever you're thinking about because he is kind of an obscure celebrity okay pull up that genie I don't know what that is the genie that guesses celebrities you

know what that is Adam I have no idea guesses who you are thinking yeah Akinator Akinator you ever use this shit never no what is this shit hello I'm an Akinator look okay so we're gonna this thing's great okay great okay is your character's gender female so no okay so your character real yes is your character create music no oh this is 20 questions yeah your character a youtuber no it's your character more than 40 years old let me look him up don't look yeah I'm pretty sure he is Steve Buscemi no that's not obscure let me see if you guys can guess him before he's not a youtuber so Frankie Munez no

close though the Dewey from from yeah Brian Cranston Brian Graham no but close oh oh Jesse Pinkman yeah he is older than 40 years old there's your character died no your character with the sports no it's your character an actor yes it's your character mostly playing comedies Alec Baldwin that's super family Baldwin your character do unboxing videos no it's your character over 60 no so your character related to Marvel no it's your character linked to potatoes no your character wear sweater no mr. Rogers was your character on a popular TV show yes your character use guns no

your character appear in yandere simulator no what your character like sweets no what your character entered a competition on TV no damn this is your character ever played the lead role in a movie I gotta see if he that's kind of a weird don't look I just looked you looked already in here yeah god damn it fuck keep talking is it I'm gonna pretend I know the people at home I didn't see it on the edge of it I didn't see it but I'm gonna guess like I didn't I didn't see it but I'm gonna guess like I didn't to keep the momentum he's on a TV show yeah he's on the TV show grounded for life it's Kevin

Corrigan for life oh yeah yeah he's in the departed he's in the party a bunch of shit I was just watching you say no I want to see if it gets it that guy's funny he is funny he does do he does do comedies but not primarily I'm gonna say no okay no what's your character train with others no it's your character from a kid's show no it's your character appear in the first season of a show yes nice your character have a son I don't know I keep having to go back to the Wikipedia I may have found the one guy this fucking thing can't guess Puerto Rican and Irish whoa really what is an asset why doesn't just go

immediately to race is he Puerto Rican and I guess you know they probably had to like because of PC bullshit this thing can't ask the hard-hitting questions yeah black yeah this guy like he character of a fucking genie stop being some raises but that was also funny you said on the last episode he just said it right now oh yeah I dream of Gina no no no when Nick said that yeah well it got Peter Dinklage I am wrong yeah this shit sucks no yeah it's your character you can ask it this guy guessed me somebody didn't me and it guessed me yeah that's crazy you can't get this it can't get Kevin

Oregon famous yeah yeah it's a character in a TV show that already ended it's your character already played a high school student probably not your character drive a mech no your character fall into holes a lot no your character of dark hair yes is your character white yes here we go your character finally got to the real shit your character played a TV show that place takes place in New York yes was your character once human yes no he's not on friends no he's not alone order your character said to be a hot guy probably not your character ride a unicycle no is your character advertising no is your character been a

lawyer probably not is your character sing on on a stage don't know is your character Republican minded don't know your character from Firefly no there you go your character have roommates no your character tall no your character from Top Gun no your character have a strong fascination for guns Jeremy Piven your character slightly overweight probably not your character linked with video games no it's your character nerdy no it's your character associated with comedy yes your character wear a headset no it's your character an urban legend no it's your character in Aries I don't know this thing has never been this bad I've

like what's your birthday March 27th that's Aries is it oh would you know the zodiacs because I'm Aries you're fucking gay fuck you you're gay hold on that might be the link though is your character associated with the terminator film franchise no I don't know does your character drink a lot I don't know is your character stand-up comedian no it's your character from Drake and Josh no the character from a Broadway show he probably does Broadway right every one of these new guys does part of result I who cares dude fuck this guy okay the genie so I'm sorry do you want to direct the show yes I'd like to plug my

dates okay keep working on them though let's see if we ever get it yeah I keep going so tomorrow I'll be in Rhode Island Middletown Rhode Island which I thought I was gonna be in Providence apparently it's some bullshit-ass like redneck part of Rhode Island but hey come out anyway it's gonna be a nice fun show and then next week I'm in Seattle the 28th Thursday at laughs please get tickets for that motherfucker I'm in Portland on the third at the Funhouse Lounge and then we also have funny moms the 25th coming up this Monday nice lineup Tim Dillon Claro Kane Ronnie Chang from the Daily Show I believe

that's it so did it get it Nick no I'm at 78 questions so this thing sucks this you try it pick a fucking different one a different person different person and it's surprisingly accurate really I can't guess Kevin Corrigan from Grounded for life do Claire Danes it's probably easy your character is not one of the most popular characters did it tap out it gave up will it ask you who you gave up now will it ask you or no no damn you stumped the genie I stumped the genie good for you and that's you know what a lot of people may say I'm bad at podcast this show is aimless for mental retorts and

then we don't have theme music or jokes we don't say say welcome there's no plan I don't say welcome but guess what Andy we just stumped the thing yeah that fucking dumbass genie that's my space quiz that I just stumped man I wish we hadn't lost that episode yeah it was good it was good whatever they'll be more good ones hopefully at some point well sorry everybody that ought to do it gang thank you for listening and you know be on the lookout for that little SD card somewhere in the subway of New York City come out to funny moms come out to see me goodbye everyone