The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 114 – back to normal

Episode Date: August 2, 2018

well i cured myself without a doctor, once again

The zone. Yeah, baby. Hello and welcome to fucking come talent. Let me set a timer real quick set that time Nicholas Fuck What I'd talk for a second. We're here motherfuckers and beautiful sunny Astoria Queens I'm still recovering from a Unidentified bottom lower-foot injury. It's not planter fasciitis. It's probably planter fish. I got an MRI I paid 250 out of pocket. Not a good not a bad deal for an MRI But it's been like four days and I haven't gotten any results and I paid cash

So I wonder if I'm being robbed. Yeah The good news is I think the benzos worked for me Aside from a little hiccup today where I had to repeat the words simple over and over again and chew on an extension Yeah, a little bit. I'm back to normal ready to podcast I think we learned an important lesson. Mm-hmm, but you never need to see a psychologist for any reason Will of the human spirit will rise you out of the so true out of the pyres and back to normal See, that's right. You're free the yes Nick's wearing a full suit of armor right now. I'm full suit of armor filled with shit to the brim

It's coming out of the little holes Yeah, I have the you lift up on the head. Yeah, that was just filled to the brim with shit Saluting all of my comrades out there No, yeah, I didn't learn my lesson I won't go to the doctor No, I guess I have an appointment Friday. Currently. I'm I've now convinced myself I have that they're gonna diagnose me with borderline personality disorder, which I have no interest in having because it's for bad women Yeah, yeah, I'm Pete Davidson. I guess and Pete Davidson and Yeah, that's like a death sentence because that that one's like if you get if you get diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

The psychiatrist basically saying like yeah, you probably should kill yourself You're a really bad guy. I think that you know, we are lame lay people and we should wait till to see what no I think wild speculations better. I think wild speculation is the right answer Yeah, you probably have some other shit. You don't even know about that. Yeah, something even worse What's worse than borderline personality borderline borderline being gay? Not borderline hella over the gay ass line Very across the gay line. I don't think I have it though because I've always been able to do I was Criticism I think that's a telltale sign. I also don't like get clingy in relationships

So that's not something I really worry about. Okay But I don't know man. These fucking mood swings are wild. Hmm. Like I don't know We should get you a gimp. I don't know. I mean, I can't be like a bipolar thing because like you shouldn't I don't know today in particular I was like fine. Yeah, now I feel fine. Mm-hmm. I feel like I feel absolutely fine But I started thinking about something too hard and then I had to just like repeat it over and over I saw a guy peeing on his door. I saw a guy peeing on his door and then I saw that last week and it's like Well, why is that happening? Yeah, but it's not yes actually. Yeah, it is sort of a simulation Yeah, you're on a new wave you're on a new crazy wave right now. Oh, yeah, it's not wanting to kill yourself

It's oh, yeah, baby. You were literally saying that you think what is it that the world is an experiment about emotions or something? Yeah, kind of yeah Just a big experiment to see See where people's heads are You need you need a magical Negro you need like a bagger van style Like old ghosts to come visit you until I'm sure you tell you everything It's gonna be just like kick down the door to the homeless shelter. Where are the magical Negroes you sir come with me My name's diarrhea. Well, I need you to guide me through this simulation

Nice brother. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't get it and it's like I do you know, I Don't know. I mean, you know, it is kind of embarrassing to talk about these things. Yeah But I think you are being very brave and open also. Thank you. Thank you for saying I'm brave I think you're a coward. I think I do think you're a bitch Have mental problems I am I mean, yeah, I am I mean, I should be humiliated the trap that I because I shame in it Well, I posted on Instagram because I didn't want the people that Messaged me that are like I try to kill myself nine times this year in the podcast. Tell me I don't want to ignore them

Right, true, you know, because I like for me in particular and I can only assume people listen to the show. It's like Disgusting to be sincere. Mm-hmm. So if you do that and you're met with like You know just being brushed off or whatever. I think it would suck So sure but now it kind of backfired. There's all these people expressing concern and I don't Like I don't want to turn into one of these like Guys whose identity is like just mental health bullshit Yeah, it's like it's so easy to do that and it's lazy and there's so many like not so many But I mean the specific people I'm thinking about where it's like, yeah, you're listening to like, yeah

They're like being depressed. Yeah, yeah anxious hour doesn't help that I'm doing in my head man. Yeah Like being depressed is like, yeah, it's like, you know, it sucks But you know, like yeah, like just doing my whole it makes me feel better It's my whole life. So like, you know, even when I'm not depressed I'll talk about being constantly depressed because that's how we sell ad reads. Oh Oh, that sucks. Yeah, you can't even be happy because the fuck oh, yeah, no because it's like, I mean, I don't know I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm sure people those powerful one experienced depression to the extent that it's like unrelenting and it lasts forever, but like

Those people probably kill themselves. Yeah, they don't do podcasts You know to a podcast where the whole thing is like so happy to be depressed again To tell everyone how fucking depressed I am. So it's like what I find depressing going to the post office. Yeah Stamps.com has helped my depression. Right. Well, especially if you're like a in a public position It's like it's because it's ridiculous. I just posted this one message to be like, hey Yeah, I feel like shit or whatever But like thanks for reaching out and then it's just like anundated with messages from people being nice or whatever Yeah, because people care about you. Well, people care about each other in general and I mean

I mean, I think that okay, that's not the point I'm trying like people care about each other in general and like it's a nice thing to say but like I It's like very easy to use that and have that turn into like a positive feedback thing and then just be perpetually like, I don't know just Self-pitying piece of shit and and turn that into your whole identity eating some love. I don't think that's what you're doing I don't I don't think it's what I'm doing, but I'm saying it's like I disgusting. Yeah, I know Everybody's worried about their appearance all the time anything I say that involves everybody just means me in me In particular and I project it on to everybody else

No, I actually know you just talk over people don't even listen to you talk over people Yeah, but I listen to what they're saying Determined that it's not worth listening to and then I say what I have. Yeah, he's doing because he doesn't care about them You're doing because you care about yourself more than yeah, that's right. That's right. That's the difference I care about them But only to the extent that I I want to interrupt them. Yeah Yeah, well anyway guys the point is you have no one everyone that's expressing their concern you have nothing to worry about Nick is now Communicating with a metaphysical spiritual being that is guiding him through his

journey towards becoming the yellow king and We're all proud of him. Yeah, I was getting upset earlier today that I can't be God Yeah, you say that to me and he was like, oh, yes, this is level she was pissed off in his air conditioner I cannot wait to cancel last minute this fucking you're like, I'm fucking air conditioner, dude. I wish I was God This air conditioner is fucking with me. It would be cool to be God You do anything you want. It's not you can have a piece of cake that's I don't I don't want to do anything But it doesn't taste like cum because you're God Yeah, it tastes like the best piece of cake you ever had in your life the motivation to be God isn't to do anything

It's like I don't when I'm like losing it. I really don't understand like What is holding everything together in my head? Like I don't like when you're not like all the things all the normal It's dumb pot thoughts you have it's like, yeah, there is no meaning alive, you know, like what does it matter? It's like suddenly those carry like an emotional weight. Yeah, and it's like, yeah, why don't I kill mice? You know, yeah, and it's not that even I want to die. It's just like why not? Like what what who cares like how do you not thinking constantly that you're going to die at some point? Yeah, and you sort of just you're just like waiting for it to happen Yeah, it's it's really sad that that happens to everyone. What does that we all die?

Yeah And then you're afraid of it happening everyone's constantly afraid of it happening Which is kind of the only reason you do anything that it's the opposite. So you just all live in fear No, it's the opposite I think people are constantly telling themselves that it's not true and they're not gonna die because Otherwise, they wouldn't be able to get out of bed. That's still fear. It's denial I of course, it's but it is denial and what's fucked up is the longer That's the way people go the more fucking ugly you are and lose your fucking skin isn't shit

Well, for some people no old people. No, the rest of us we get like hotter until we're like 35 and no No, I mean 35. I mean, well first of all, I I'm gonna be fine because my body gives me nothing So I'm ahead of the curve on you motherfucker. Yeah, your body's great. In a way. That's like being God I am God. Yeah, I'm closest to God. I'm like a Buddha. Yeah, that's actually what Buddha was He was this really fat guy that was like, I don't even care about my poor poor real form, dude I don't care because it's all about nirvana. Yeah, it's all about nirvana in my brain You suck by that piece of cake when you become God Who would have thought stop is the most enlightened out of all and brother I said and here's another point

That's two now to start wearing diapers soon, brother. Yeah, give me another week I if this MRI doesn't come back with good news like I'm keeping it together right now, but I am yeah If I can't start walking soon, I'm gonna I had a dream that I was just walking dude. Yeah, just walking I was waiting in line I literally got up to get a fucking glass of water and halfway in the dream I realized my foot hurts and then I just collapsed and I woke up I had a dream Zaka Miko had a vagina and he was masturbating in front of everybody And I was like, can you stop doing that, please? Can you imagine how bad that pussy would smell?

Well, it's there's fake blood taking five HTTP because people recommended it and actually you know what I do think it helps What's five HTTP? It's like what it's like helps it helps like because honestly I do think that like most of vitamin most of what's been going on like I do have periods of like Hypomania or whatever where you know like with getting obsessed with pedophiles. Yeah, whatever the fuck But I really think like I was overstimulated at skankfest and like whatever that bullshit thing that got stuck in my head about like Like why do I give a shit whether killsteen it? Yeah, sure like well like I don't think it was Looping back around on that over and over again, and then that night. I did like way too much cocaine

Oh, yeah, and like just burned out. Yeah, we were laughing last night me and Nick about how both of you guys got injured at skankfest No, I didn't I did way too much coke that night and it was like we should sue Lewis I was already it wasn't We have a case elsewhere. We have a case. I think I just like fucked up my serotonin also I got like food poisoning that night because I'm pretty sure someone tried to poison bro We got a case here against skankfest. Yeah, they're trying to take us down there. Hey, baby. James is fucking bullshit Pay for me to get a biomic foot pay for Nick to get a fucking beautiful gold nose Yeah, smoke. Okay, so that's golden nose

It's impossible to coax lie down. Oh, that's good. That's good idea. See Yeah, yeah, and Lewis's son can go to fucking public school and get stabbed. Who gives a fuck? But Anyway boys, thanks for coming. It's I hope you guys do anything after this. We should fucking just kick it I have to go to this come on. I could kick it for a little bit. I gotta go to the gym at some point Okay, kick it brother. I've been waiting for you to ask to hang for months. I didn't want to say anything Oh, he's been asking us to hang the last three times. We were over here. I did I have Me and his honey Abbie came have a little lunch. It was great. It was nice. Yeah, I mean that's how yeah We put a little Mario tennis do that game is fun. I don't like it because I'm not good at it

Yeah, easy. What are you talking about? I don't like it because I'm not good at it for babies, bro That's why I'm not good at it because I'm not a baby. Baby Bowser. Me too. That's my because his wingspan is really long Baby Bowser. Yeah, honestly either him or Waluigi. I like the defensive players. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a defensive mastermind How about Halloween G right and he's the Joker Louie? Ha ha ha Why so serious? See I'm back baby Rift city all day. Let's get a couple

Do you think this fucking brain bullshit's gonna keep the boy down there? Fuck no, dude. I'm not leaving you guys. Thanks, man. Yeah, we Gotta go on tour dude. Honestly this I was getting fucked up You know what honestly now that I say that the idea of having to live to October for that Australia tour is just like No, don't think of it that way. Don't think of it that way. I don't want to be alive. I know for another season Yeah, I don't want to have to get a slight sweater out You mean I gotta outlive the pool No, I gotta stick around longer than the pools open think of it this way, dude We're not living long

We're waiting to go on adventures because I think on these tours we should literally do fun like dumb shit Take days where we're just doing like day trips. I want to go to surf. Yeah, how is that? Hold on. How is that dumb shit? That's just what you do on vacation. Yeah, we should go. Yeah, I want to do some crazy stuff We're gonna go to a museum Like I don't know like fucking hang glider. You've been you've been inside for a week and you forgot that people do things First of all two weeks. I'm going crazy. Yeah, but yes, that is true But what I'm saying is we should just go and you know have little little trip diary have shit to do Especially we're doing back-to-back pods and shit. Yeah, like fucking

You know Go to like what's some shit? You what if I kill myself with a boomerang in Australia? That would be cool. I would be down with that. I was saying I got the money now cuz like Adam recommended this psychiatrist It's a Jewish friend of his no, it's not a Jew. I made sure it wasn't a Jew Okay, cuz I didn't want to think he was getting tricked into being happy Yeah, this is how much thought he put into it that he made sure it wasn't a Jew To prove that it's not a Jew conspiracy. Yeah to prove how not calculating Instead of recommending a psychotherapy

He was concerned with the anti-semitism element because you have to protect Israel first Oh, no, it's your dear friend who's suffering I know that from the movie the departed that Freud said that the Irish mind is impervious to psychoanalysis So what Freud said is that the only two people that psychoanalysis doesn't work on the Irish and people with Down syndrome Oh, it's true no matter how much therapy you give it. It's just like a Rubik's Cube. Yeah, four blocks I'm a guy with Down syndrome spending like four three green ones one red one He just can never solve it a guy with Down syndrome spending like years in psychotherapy being like well My mother was often distant, but I don't think it was to an extent that really did any damage to me

I mean sure there were times when I just wanted to be a mom and instead she would cry and drink, but I Don't know. Okay. Well, I'll see you next week. Dr. Clark and then the next week just like my father one time I Saw him play catch with the boy across the street and he seemed to enjoy it so much more and it Created a deep emotional whiff between me and my father that I'm not sure was ever whooped head And then it's like four years after that like well my high school years, of course, I was attracted to girls, but I Saw who they went with and I still feel like I carry that pain to this day that even when I have Sexually and romantic feeling relationships. They're not

Exactly there entirely And mostly function is someone that was just waiting to get hurt and then the therapist like well, mr. Michaels You have Down syndrome That's my diagnosis. Oh my god, what a relief, but he just becomes retarded I'm gonna prescribe you velcro shoes 200 milligrams of jiffy peanut butter Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a Monday to Go she goes well Monday again, then opens the Thursday one and takes Yeah, that's right Nick you have a you have a beautiful mind for you can make make that kind of stuff up

Oh, yeah, and also go to war with yourself. I'm such a creative boy. Yeah, really are man. It's creative boy. I Gonna get a water. Okay. Yeah, you're welcome. Sure. I would love a water. Sorry. I can't be a good host on account of my injury on account of my Terrible injury Yeah, oh shit what I'm sorry. There's new copy that I'm trying to Memorize while also talking. Oh, no worries. Listen. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Um, yeah, I don't know man. I I Don't know. No, I just got I became obsessive thinking about whether or not I have borderline person. I just find dude

God that would be fucking terrible. Whatever who cares? You don't have it, but if you do who cares? Oh, I would care What difference it make you've been you your whole life Pete Davidson smash an area on a grande's cheekies. Yeah, he's a bad person. Well, is he if you got BPD You're a bad person. I don't know man. I don't know that's true If you've got it, although BPD Baltimore Police Department. Yeah, that's true. I guess I don't really judge Pete Davidson Yeah, he's not a bad guy. Yeah, I don't know if it's true that he has a Hillary Clinton tattoo I judged him hard for that Hillary Clinton. That's a tough tattoo. Oh, right. I forgot about that. Yeah, never mind

He is a bad guy. Yeah, but he doesn't a big dick. Yeah, he's got a huge dick Which makes him even worse and it must be cool to fuck Ariana Grande. Yeah, you'll give me that Surely, you'll concede that to me. There's a bunch of dirt in this water That was just the story of minerals. I like that. You can't even go get a glass of water Oh, you gave me the dirty one, huh? My glass is pretty glass dirty. Yeah, I'm sorry It's like I like like I hope I don't have bite by borderline personality disorder And then I just abuse Adam publicly for years for my own financial game And speaking of financial gain, why don't you check out gambling? Hold on

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You can bet on other things, you know, yeah, but somebody gonna say something funny at the Oscars Yeah, I wonder I wonder who's hosting be mean to our president Donald Trump of the Oscars Yeah, we got Sean Spicer You know that guy eat shoes and swallows gum So that shit on well hold on here's because we need picks on UFC 227 is Dilla Shaw versus Garbrandt Oh stop knows about fighting this are those real names. Yeah, that's not like Marmadude characters Do a show Garbrandt to mm-hmm. Is that that is that his second fight? Oh, okay. Yeah, I would assume. Yeah Yeah, it's a rematch. Yeah, and the main card is yeah

It's yeah, Dilla shot Gabra and then Demetrius Johnson and Henry mighty mighty man. I know who he is cool Yeah, man, there's so many people. I just don't know who they vote for yeah I would say bet on that. I'm gonna fuck you Johnson. Yeah, I would go Demetrius Johnson I've heard of him because Henry is kind of a pussy name. Yep. You know what I mean? I'll say that I'll say that to Henry sehudo. Oh, you'll definitely say I would say that to anybody's face I think that guy's probably like 120 pounds. Yeah, he is my way. Yeah, and I'm gonna see there's also a Gals fight oh Danielle Taylor versus Zhang Wei Wei Li Yeah, okay, my wife my Chinese wife sight unseen. I will marry strong Chinese wife. Hopefully to crush my larynx kill me

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Back to our very serious afternoon special about mental health. No fuck that Although I am fucking worried. My therapist is just gone for all of August a month. Yeah, and your boys. I Texted him. I'll fuck me up, too. Yeah, I text it out said some fucked up shit to me, man Should we go fuck him up? I don't maybe He told me I I I'm internally tortured because I have a secret emotional life I don't tell you what that was. I don't know. Are you gay? Is he saying you're gay? No, that's what it sounded like to me I did and if you just like, you know, no, I mean honestly what he was describing was just irony poisoning

Oh, yeah, sure. That is you. Yeah, you don't know what you like you would you present the things you enjoy or the things you hate No, I do know what I like and I do I do know as far as like my taste though. I don't think that that's really in Question, I don't know what those things I'm convicted on that like don't really change but I Definitely I mean for like a lot of people it's like You don't want to feel anything ever for sure So, yeah, like I just don't feel things and I sure but that's a problem when I do I just suppress them Yes, I'm with you, but it's a that's a real big issue. Yeah, because then once you feel them you feel them a lot and it sucks Yeah, they rush at you and then you're sad

We must protect this heart then what you do is you eat a gyro for example What you might do is have where the fuck are our gyros they take a while, but they'll be here and they're very tasty Oh, they are good Yeah, shout out to the bees. Did you tell the woman on the phone that I'm crazy? I did I said We got hallowee gee up in the house Oh, I also sorry, I told my friend Jamel. He's doing an out. He's taping his hour tomorrow on Thursday At the Lyric hyperion. Oh, go see Jamel. Go see Jamel. No rock Um, yeah, I told him I'd mention it. So if you're in Los Angeles go see our buddy at the Lyric hyperion

I believe it's at eight. Go see and he's a very Talented stand up. I'll sign him a hundred percent. Yeah, we definitely sometimes when I wouldn't DC when I had to follow him I would say give it up. That was black stavros and then sometimes when he'd say that was white Jamel They are sort of like a double XL boys of comedy really been a me too guy, but I had to follow tj Miller at this Whatever this stands pop up. No, but he did well Then I walked half the room and bombed when I was already in a bad mood So, you know what guys we got to start we got to start removing these men from entertainment Everyone that's ever buried me. Yeah has to go only if they've done it right only we've done it right

Yeah, yeah, but if you've raped and buried me. Yeah, see you pal. Yeah, get the we hit the fucking bricks Sorry misspoke Jamel shows at 730 at the Lyric hyperion tomorrow Thursday August go see Lyric drink birion. Yeah Go there go to Jamel show show up drunk as fuck. Yeah, I interrupt the show say racial slurs He is a black man column white stavros. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Say hey everybody. It's white stop. Yep That's good. Yeah, that doesn't make sense I know but you'll be drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be good Damn, I'm trying to be sober again, dude. I won't fuck ass wild on maybe I should just go maybe I should fix myself by

Not rejecting irony, but going just nothing but earnestness. Whoa. No times be post-irony. Yeah Baby, man, that's not Well, I guess that is but most of the people most of the people in that route, you know, I'll be honest with you There go our gyros Adam fetch the gyros. I'll make my point about Nanette Go fetch them Fetch them with your rubbish legs Yeah, what a horrible Adams running the way he normally does

Is it for a comedic effect? He's showing us his true run It's quite the stride. Yeah, I didn't know I had a gay run my entire childhood Well, just weird I run weird I run on my tippy toes I run weird and then I had to run through the mall one time when I was working on something my co-workers laughed at me And I was like what and it until that moment. I had never considered that people run different possibility of a weird I've never really considered my body or the space I take up. I used to just dig into my ass to scratch it Until I finger in just your ass. No. No, I mean over my pants

No, I would just if some ish I jam my hand right in the middle of my basketball shorts and scratch my asshole Nice, and it took I then I saw someone else doing it when I was like 10 and I was like, oh my god We're doing this entire time and I had no idea damn, bro I had no idea you had none But I will say about the optics that realization a couple weeks ago the Cameran Esposito probably hates it Yeah, and then realizing that that's true. I've since found out that that is true. Nice. How does that make you feel? Well, I guess it like answers like a lot of the things that like kind of made me upset with

woke art and like woke bullshit over the last couple of years because it was like, I don't know all that like Blog feminism got popular in like 2013 Like and you know, I've always just been a comedian. I didn't go to school Yeah, my entire adult life have been a comedian my entire world has been comedy and comedy is a very stupid world filled with dumb people. Yeah, and so there was none of that There was none of like conversations about like identity politics or whatever. It was all it was just comedy Yeah, see if you could do well and then that Hitchens essay

Came out and that's when like wokeness sort of stuck its head into the world of comedy Yeah, and then it ramped up Adam Can you lean back so I can see my co-hosts when I'm sorry You pick that up and not open the food on the floor. I'm just trying to untie the bag So so just do it on your lap. Okay, I'll do it on me. I just alright the couch is disgusting. It's fine I'm just kidding buddy. Do it wherever you want I'm just joshing you know, I was I was just doing a look see I was doing a little bit Now see Nick, that's bad it hurts people

I know it's gonna be so funny when Nick gets fucking diagnosed with what what's the thing BPD and then you just come in You start trying way too hard to be nice. Yeah, it's gonna be horrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just become mr. Rogers That would really fucking suck. I would have to kill myself. No, relax You'd wear sweaters and we'd make fun of you for being gay and then you'd become a villain. You'd you would you would become halloweegee? So we're in purple soon Another borderline personality. Yeah, I'm fucking Olivia Sopranos. No, that is I changed my mind that is bad Yeah, you live try to have her guy got she had her own son God In the flashbacks when she was young she was a nice piece of ace

Anyways, what I was saying about is like woke shit shows up and it's like you're not like you don't disagree with like The actual things they're saying but you don't know why it like bothers you and it's like because it's like Most of the time just inherently cynical. It's cynical. It's just a way to get a career right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but it's hard to accuse somebody of that. You just as a comedian. You can smell the bullshit or whatever and And then that's like not bullshit. I think it's not funny and like yeah No, I think a lot of the points she makes are like pretty stupid, but it feels honest. Yeah, yeah, that Picasso is bad Yeah, she said I mean that's half of it. I agree. What? Fuck don't don't come from a man. I was also like who the fuck here

Who gives a shit about the eyes on the side of the head? Come on dog. You got to put him on either side of the nose My man did a lot of different shit. He had that blue fucking phase or whatever He had some I think she was saying that he was like that art like so Picasso was the one that's Electric or can he only say his own name? Thanks Uh-huh. Yep, that's how big because Nice see what happens when you fucking take the fries out at him you I'm Patient bitch. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Now. We're eating on Mike. Now. We're eating on Mike. I can't help myself

You know, I need those carbohydrates to think these deep powerful thoughts Anything Nick said while he was having his fucking I need like three bowls of cereal I'm thinking so hard. I need all these carbohydrates. Yeah, it does. No, I mean it is mentally exhausted wires are fucking firing Oh, the sin you just obsessively think about bullshit, and then you just need Cocoa purse. Yeah, what kind of cereal is the new Cheerios? The new Cheerios come town officially endorses the new Cheerios. I don't know It's like a cinnamon oat thing. Helly. Can I say what's your Cheerios as a dessert cereal does not get enough credit? I grew up on a honey nut. They got honey nuts great as is but they got hell of different shit, dude The little Applejack type motherfuckers. Yeah, the little fucking

Chocolate the tri ones where it's like three different flavors great. Those are great. The multigrain are good Yeah, I remember like the three type of Cheerios. Maybe the multi grain Cheerios I can't remember what it was but the they had like a promotion for like I think like the 96 or 98 winter Olympics It would be 96, right? Yeah 98 98 96 Atlanta was Atlanta Was the 96 winter Olympics hot Atlanta? I might be fucking this up Maybe it was 96 or whatever, but they had like a like a medallion like an Olympic medallion You could get in the cereal box and my cousin like had that medallion and he was like wearing it around or whatever And then he was wearing it and he had diarrhea and then it fell in the toilet

And then he fished it out of the dire here, and he just put it back on brown-ass fucking splotch on his white shirt Yeah, dude that kid was so funny he got in trouble for like he flushed a bunch of socks down the toilet one time and just Destroyed why just cuz ADD respect I mean we're the he had to carry them all the way like it's not like he had 50 socks with him in the bathroom He had to go to the sock jar carry them over the fucking bathroom He used to have such like I don't know if it was ADD or what but yeah He would just he would chew on his shirt compulsively. So it was just always soaking wet

What let's get close to the mic. Yeah, I don't want to eat into it. I got you. Well, don't eat then that's the solution I like eating into a pussy. Oh, I know brother madam. Please so can I eat into your pussy? Yeah, resting the half of a half of a sub in a pussy while you eat it get the fucking He was using a pussy as a sub hole as a bad guy talking into a pussy. Do you ever do that? Only Spanish dog? I always be spanish up in that bitch. E uno taco tres. Oh the dos. Soy un ratón. Soy un fourth meal. Chisi fiesta patatos. Yo quiero tacos Bel Grande Damn, I would I'd love some damn cheesy fiesta potatoes. Maybe I should just keep smoking weed. Yeah, three days since I haven't You stop showing the weed. Yeah, I gotta cut something out. I've been back on weed back on the Tweedies

It's been making me. I think a better person. No, it hasn't I think so. No, I don't smoke all day. I Take what I was doing the first week was after about 6 p.m. I would take an edible just to end the day so I could pass out and just like it would be over You know be that much closer to having my powerful athletic body back. I get edible. I get edible, dude I take it. I wake up eldest is sucking my dick when I come to hmm. Oh, I'm sorry By the way salute to L. Oh, also, I'm a damn homeowner boys. Oh, congrats salute to elders That is insane to me. Yeah, you're a mobile. You haven't had clothes on for a week I know bought a I threw on a Hawaiian shirt long enough to fucking last time. I saw you

You're just giving me a legal dick pills and benzos Benzos Bro, and honestly, I was thinking about it. I have researched like where to get good wings Longer than I researched buying a house. I just listened to whatever my agent told me I hope no one ripped me off, but the good news is I have a damn fucking house now You know two bedroom three bed three bed two bath And so you have a bedroom like set up I have a guest bed Yeah, my room my home away from home. That's sick and my little brothers will be moving in that'll be the halkiest pad When are they moving it? I think it's starting already, dude. So sick. Yeah, and you have projects and shit

You know, dude, you know, we should do we should go fucking spend a week there and just demo shit I want to knock down a wall. I want to do a bunch of shit, dude. That's me, dude That would be a fun week. Give him a saw. Maybe after the fucking come on a bar show We hang out a couple days knock some walls down get our cocks rubbed It's a thought, you know But yeah, dude, I'm excited to be a damn homeowner. I can't wait to have some equity You know get a nice backyard It has a backyard. I'm a slumlord. Yeah, that's a bag has a backyard

Yeah, dude shuts out the eldest for driving me down being my fucking transporter my Jason Statham You came back in the same day same day, dude went down sign the paper the guy that was doing the like closing or whatever Listen, this is how random this is he owned the Baltimore comedy factory from 87 to 92 And now he works in mortgages. It was bizarre and he just like knew all this shit about like old comedians and shit Whoa, he like, you know, he's telling me Tony Wood stories and shit. It was pretty cool. Wow But yeah, that club used to be the coolest looking place and it was so wasted on that fucking audience I know the comedians. They would book there where it was in the Inner Harbor. Yeah, yeah above Um, Bairds Berks Berks. That was it. He owned it when it was at Berks. Yeah

Yeah, that was such a cool fucking spot. Yeah, I remember going in there and I was like, this is awesome Yeah, yeah, look at had that like cool like post-industrial look and now it's over because of others like milled shutters Yeah, it was cool. It was legit cool. Yeah, and now it's you know why it went out of business and that well now It's at the fucking travel plaza. It's next to a bus station The best Western but it went out of business airy spears someone stabbed a body a security guard and an airy spear show over a chicken wing tab, you know, it's nice It's nice to see a comedy club live the same tragic life that the underpaid comedians that employees live To see that happen to a club. Yeah, just have everything fall apart and end up in a bus

Living in a fucking hotel right by the projects. It's literally by the O'Donnell Heights Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good that that happens to a club. Yeah, yeah, yeah, instead of just the lives it destroys the actual dumb comics Yeah, but yeah, dude, it was fucking nice meat. We went up. We got a big celebratory meal afterwards I fucked them up with a I got a damn crema crab soup went to Jimmy's seafood. Yeah Got a damn crema crab soup fucking ribeye crab cake on the side big potato Asparagus fuck with your boy, dude The brothers told my little brothers and I'll just get whatever the fuck you want, dude Whatever daddy's buying. You're good, bro. It was good. It was a nice day. We should go to the Phillips in Ocean City

I'll go. Yeah, we should literally do a live podcast Oh, we did an episode already. I was gonna say I went to see I went down to the eastern shore. I saw my grandma Yeah, and Yeah, I got a some pussy softshell crab sandwich, but it was bad. Yeah, it was bad I remember that I filed that away as a memory to keep you telling me about a bad Thing in the memory box You you have no information in your head besides like who fucked at meals That's the way I live my life brother

That was such a good meal I had yesterday and I took a beautiful shit as a result Cuz I've been eating nothing but seamless, but this was nice to this meat spare, you know potatoes. Yeah, real Cooked meal cooked meal felt good It's apparently it's Harry Potter's birthday or some shit today, do you know that? It's Harry Harry Potter the boy or Daniel none of them in the books or some shit Radcliffe, what is that English? Usually I've been pretty good at Fastbender, what is that German?

If you were a gay wizard or a woman with that's I'm kind of hung up on that bit now. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, keep Liam Neeson Neeson. What is that Irish? Yeah? Usually I can usually pick Is that I think Saki Dickie Morimoto, is that also Japanese? That's actually French Yeah My my genius question that I was about to ask about Harry Potter is if you were a gay wizard or a woman

Wizard do you think they would take the flying broom? No, you could be a straight male wizard You think you'd take the broom and put it in and out of your ass or pussy Oh, you let it would like fly in and out because the quidditch brooms. Would you do that? Do you think I'm sorry? What was the prompt if you were a female or gay would you let a whip would you use a broom to master? Yeah, basically would you let a broom fuck I don't think women use dildos I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write a Harry Potter fan fiction We're the first like 50 pages vibrate it are just the first Terry Potter book when that owl shows up He fucks it

And then that's how the story ends. I Was under the stairs and an owl shows up and he's like howdy you Just being shoved on this stair boys cock Because it's been so emotionally abused. I don't think in that crawl space. I think you're thinking of the owl from the Tootsie pop commercials. No, I don't think they have talking owls in that out in that how Harry Potter works Is it talking now bring the male the owls like drop off like a how they're talking owls like you and you will become the president of the wizards and Then Harry goes to the train station and he jumps in front of that train and then you got the train part down

All right, it gets yeah I took a nice little train ride yesterday. Fuck it. I'm not afraid of who I am anymore Where how funny would be if I go to therapy and they're just like yeah, you're just autistic All that crazy bullshit is just autism autism. You're incapable of feeling depression because you can't feel anything You're disappointed that you didn't get to ride a train and you threw a temper tantrum for a month Here's a little kit to do some circuitry. Yeah, knock yourself out. I'm like, okay, I Mean that actually that jives more because it matches like that. I don't have fear of like criticism or rejection. Yeah Yeah, we were just talking about that with Felix about yeah about how autistic

Because they fuck cuz they don't they don't process rejection in the same way. Oh my god rejection is the worst They was like fuck off and they're like, okay. Oh, okay. Thank you. And then turns to their friends. I fuck you Yeah, that's like the only reason I was able to fuck when I was young is because you're just Ask everybody to fuck. Yeah, I was so self-conscious. I sort of like the girl and then I was terrified. Yeah, oh, no I wouldn't I wouldn't like girls. It would just be like that. She is a pussy. I'd be like, do you want to have sex? Anyways chief the chief is back here. I have come all the way back from the big TP synagogue to talk to you about a new type of underwear that

Feels good on your mostly nude body When I'm painting stars of David as I prepare for war, that's what we call complaining As we go as we get as we prepare for the great Comanche battle of calling up customer service Build a bear and complaining that they had a two-for-one special that they didn't honor when I brought my niece for her her bot mits for Anyways, I wear Mack Weld and underwear when I do what I just Was wearing I was wearing my own underwear while that was happening Because Mack Weld and underwear is the greatest underwear you'll ever wear

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Wow, which means that they suck the stink off of your borderline worthless fucking body It might as well be dangling from a rafter Because good riddance to you borderline fucking piece of shit I Mean I don't think there are any Probably there are borderline personality people are busy like threatening to kill themselves if their girlfriend leaves them Hell, yeah, they don't have time for podcasts, right? Yeah Anyways, they don't have time to host them either therefore guess what dude you don't have it

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I don't you know like the movie is the first time you'd literally besides going to the dog Yeah, dude, you remember remember that Keanu Reeves movie which one the the fucking the Replacements when they get a guy out of prison to play football. Yeah, that's what it felt like for me, dude Yeah, that guy and now I'm back in jail That was a good movie. It was cool, man. I like the replacements. They filmed it in Baltimore, too Did the m&t basements? Yeah, and they have to be gay again. Yeah, like we did last summer finally restraint And they're like, you know, that's what the twist is But the twist is having gay sex

Because it's sex with a twist It's an ass instead of a pussy Yeah, I'm fucking back. I'm back baby. Damn. Yeah, I'm pretty much back Mullins back bitch Chew it into a fucking microphone doing fucking solid-ass rift Fucking greatest comedian ever What an artist what a loss it would be If I killed myself you guys are right absolutely People would be really upset if they couldn't hear things like the regacements anymore

Jesus Christ Yeah, you have so much to live for I have so much to live for yeah You do such important work. Yeah Yeah, that's the thing too is like any of the cool charity work you can't you have there's a process What do you mean? Well doing any kind of like charity work, you know, if I wanted to just fuck off and like like LeBron built If I go like yeah, if I wanted to go to Africa just surgery LeBron by the way You can't just watch a couple of female genital mutilation videos and expect them to hand you a scalpel True it takes a lot of that cut off a couple clits before they let you right you got to practice here first

We've got to show them your own videos. Yeah, yeah Yeah Here you go doc. Mm-hmm. Here's this dropbox. How about doctors without borders, but they all have borderline personality disorder Wow, yeah So they go to a bit in Bob way and they're like gaslight all the patients, right? They're just screaming into Some it's some child with a distended belly. It's like I'll give you this sandwich, but you have to promise to never leave me If you ever leave me, I'll kill you That's doctors without borders

Dude, that's did you just do a Nick Mullin impression doctors with no, I didn't do it I know who you were doing you know my god was yeah, don't bully me. I'm in such I'm in such a vulnerable position. No, we're here for you doggy style It really is got his ass out in the broadcasting is the only thing that holds it together. You think it's like that Was that Rodney Dangerfield? Yeah, oh, that's my favorite quote of all time That's one of the best quotes that in the Colin Quinn quote about Thank God. I are how lucky am I that I get to do a thing I used to love for a living. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god That's so fucking yeah, but the Rodney Dangerfield quote stand up is everything everything else is shit life shit

Yeah, yeah relationships are shit stand up as shit. Yeah, he's like that's it That's all there is stand up and then just like 30 seconds. I was like stand up shit God yeah, that's on the mark mare that's on the norm McDonald his first mark marin if you guys are interested in finding that Oh, is it it's a it's a relayed An anecdote from norm. Yeah, his book was good as shit by the way. It's so good and there's a part where he I mean It's all fake obviously, but no, it's half fake. Yeah. Yeah, it's half fake But then there's a part where he's like he hints at getting molested and I don't know if that part's real or not Probably it was wild. Yeah, that came out of no way. Yeah. Yeah

Just the old guy on his family's farm just fucking trapped him in his shed and fucked his ass. Yeah I mean, he didn't say I think that it might have been a show Who knows though cuz he didn't say he because he didn't do it in that like over-the-top norm way Yeah, yeah, I mean it is very a funny norm bit to just Hints seriously that he was molested and never addressed it again. Yeah, that is a good bit Yeah, you know what I also was treated to watching on my way back up here was we stopped We we huh? We stopped at eldest's family's home on the way back and Albanian TV fucking rules, bro. That's what kind of shit do they watch dude?

Yeah, I find it hard to believe that Albanian TV rules. It's so funny. I mean, it's horrible obviously Yeah, it's still like it's still the comedy is still like men in dresses, obviously Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can make up and shit, but there was like Miss Albania and it was just bikini There's no other part. They're just praying around and there's someone there was a like Albania's Got Talent and And it was like a highlights episode two by the way and one of the one of the things was a kid that was double-jointed Pointed There's another guy that I'm not even kidding

Glowsticks really fucking fast And then there was so good someone called DJ topless and it was literally just On television do cable companies like sell like the Albania TV package Yeah, every like like there's a great your parents get Greek TV You get a lot of Greek channels now when when I was little all we had was antenna the main channel now You get fucking mega just call it antenna I didn't really I literally did not realize until this in English Story about the Latino community and the newscaster. It's like the Latino community can't wait to open up schools

For their children to attain Bro, I'm not even fucking right. I did not realize it until now. There's another one called mega. That's mega And it's not about my big beautiful. Oh, that's my new thing now is my boss I'm gonna use my body to spore fear for good and convince myself. I have a giant ass Just a big Brazilian booty that everyone can't wait to touch and dance with are you gonna wax it or keep it furry? Oh, yeah, I forgot you do have a furry dude. I'm fucking Harry a shit really you're surprisingly Harry Yeah, I remember driving down the road with my friend Mooning this black woman

Well, I did it one time I moved somebody for my friend's car and he became obsessed with it Yeah, you go Marlon get this guy Yeah, like just moon everybody on command and I was doing it one time on the highway And he was matching the speed with this like middle-aged black. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so that my ass is just like In her face, and then and then eventually I sat down and she goes I won't see your white ass And then I was like, oh, I'm sorry You just still the same speed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And then later they saw my ass and my friend was like, oh my god. That's what you've been doing to people

Yeah, dude, how about your nuts are they furry? Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm here. You should dude I got a pretty hairless ass pretty smooth. Yeah, you do. Yeah. I'm so mad I admit I've talked about this before but our LA trip. I had great footage of your nuts From unlike from behind behind balls tiny, but long long not tiny tiny tiny for sure Extremely small. They are literally very smart. No, seriously. I'm not even trying to be a crew my balls are rule My balls are, you know, they were very normal balls are probably the size of like a mango each Yeah, of course easy easy an overripe mango really for all guys all guys. Everyone has a mango Yeah, I spent all day sucking on my damn balls, but big mango balls

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true. Then my eyelid can't stop twitching either. I don't know what that is Potassium, I don't know. That's the other thing too. It's like maybe I don't even fucking need medicine Maybe it's just I just need to go back to the gym and start taking a fucking multi again. That's my sleep I probably need medicine. I am like insane, but yeah, you know, I mean It would definitely help just something to be said about just dehydration and shit and smoking a million cigarettes Yeah, I started smoking coffee. I stopped going to the gym. Yeah, I haven't been sleeping. I've been eating bad Yeah, you're doing everything bad. Yeah But I mean, it's a relief to know that like a lot of the times these things are just completely

Just environmental or whatever, you know, I mean it's something that can be, you know When this all started honestly when you watch call me by your name, dude No, call me by your name and Nanette were both two things I saw in the last year that like because it's very hard again to make like Something that's like sentimental that isn't fucking just it doesn't cross the line into being like Schmaltz saccharine corny, which Nanette doesn't really do but there's like They're different for different reasons good But anytime I'm like surprised by something that I think I'm gonna fucking hate and it's like, oh, yeah, that was actually pretty good I mean it means something to me. Yeah, and both of those like I yeah now that it's you're like there's humanity under

Cuz I I sat down and I actually watch Nanette all the way through and it's not powerful or anything But like yeah, I mean so much you're it. It's coherent and like she's speaking honestly and very few comedians do that Yeah, it's like, you know, I Looking for the right thing to say in a particular moment, right and that's necessarily comedy Then it's just like a woman woman. No, it's bad comedy, but it's good art. I guess I mean not and not even that I don't have much honest art what it is. It's different than every special I've seen and it's in a way We're like the core of what's that man and I don't Really have a problem with because and that's the thing too is like I

Don't like that. It's labeled as comedy, but like When you speak honestly on those things if that had been done like the whole time and like kind of why I was like with like the Me too stuff. It's like, oh, yeah, obviously, but like a lot of woke posturing again. It's like cynical cynical It's just I don't trust it Yeah, yeah, my problem with me to movement not enough punch lines, right? Yeah, I'm saying yeah last permitting Nanette same thing LPM Fuck I just gonna say I forgot. Oh

This is not what I had to say just now But if you guys you guys would you guys ever watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Yeah. Yeah, I fucked you you fuck I fucked her dude. I fucked her. I fucked I was gonna say if you had to fuck one of the aunts, which one would it be? Caroline Ray did that big the big teddy one. She's but she's the other one I mean, this is again if I had to fuck one of you had to I wouldn't choose to fuck either Mm-hmm, and I reject any other one She yeah, she was had a really long neck Mm-hmm had kind of bird-like features. Yeah, I would have fucked them all dude. Yeah, I fuck I would have fucked

Oh, I would have fucked Salem the cat Salem the cat, huh? Mm-hmm interesting choice nah, but Wasn't Keenan from Keenan and Kellan that shit at the end it's a Brina didn't they do like a spin-off where she had like a house in college She went to college with Keenan. I think so Damn, I guys career is great Dude, how much dick does it suck to be Keenan when or I'm sorry to be Cal

I'm Cal's Cal. Yeah, how much does it suck to be Cal when Keenan is just like been on SNL for 20? Everyone thought that Cal was a star Yeah, and Keenan was just Biden this time as Cal was doing his famous who loves orange soda Routine everyone's like this guy has the makings of a comedy superstar. My man's got the fucking juice Yeah, you know, no, it sucks dude. Apparently. He's like still just like going out for auditions and shit Oh, yeah, he's like, you know, he was in that movie mystery man. Do you remember? I love mystery man I love that movie too. Yeah, my mom got that shit from the fucking public library. You remember that movie Nick What are you reading Wikipedia?

No, what movie? Mystery man. Oh, yeah, I remember mystery man. Dane Cook Pee Wee Herman. That's right. Dane Cook is in it Pee Wee Herman Ben Stiller Ben Stiller. Was that Pee Wee Herman post beating off post beating off Pee Wee Herman salute the return Salute to my man for him, dude. I feel like he got set up. Yeah, I feel like it was definitely set up That was a sting, dude Fuck dude, I smell bad. I got a shower What are you supposed to do not jack off in a porn? I tell you that Viagra barely worked, but it was cool how how fucking nice My forearms looked on it. You get vascular, dude. I got vascular because I already have pretty vascular forearms

But the Viagra made your shit pop that it did that shit. Yeah, that's out to the fucking come boy that sent me those by the way Yeah, send me send me every DM me DM me. I'll give you a jealous. I want liquid see Alice I want every type of prescription drugs sent to my house. Also, I also I want that everything. Yeah No, I want the liquid San Diego and then go to fucking Tiawana dude, honestly I was like reluctant to get on the dick pill game because it's like I don't want to accept that I'm just an old piece of shit now with a broken dick in mind I don't need it. I don't you know, I'm going all my man. Welcome all pills welcome aboard brother

I want to fix nice to have you in the family. Yeah, just have you in the pill family Yeah, just peel me up Get my dick hard get my mind numb. That's right. Do you know some pain pills? I want to have those nice turgid forearms Mm-hmm. I I never noticed it would get you vascular, but it does get my cock nice and fucking stiffed up I'll tell you that much. Yeah Yeah, I didn't really do that for me Nothing really works. Hmm. Have you tried maybe give you know exploring that secret inner life of yours Maybe that's your cock problem. No, I don't think it is because I mean

I think I would have explored it by now That was really when you were drunk as shit. You would have fucked a guy by accident if you're not never no Because I came up numerous times. No, I didn't my friend that was drunk as hell and not gay Did fuck get a good guy when it was a couple guys. Yeah, I'm sure he's not gay I don't he really isn't I don't think it is come on. I'm serious. I know the guy I mean he's he's gay. He's not gay, but then he's by or something a couple times by some gay guys Yeah, but then he's by or something. I mean, you're not like nobody's blacking out and doing something. That's like just Wildly out of there. They are

They'd be what you would like well, yeah on like I don't think that people's doorsteps and shit You might not get your cock sucked and just come to I'm not saying you suck. I you guys dick sucked You could do that on a blackout and not be gay Maybe sucking dick on a blackout. Maybe you're sort of by but getting your dick sucked on a blackout. I think that's fine I mean, there's fine either way. Yeah And maybe I don't think I if I thought he was by I'd be like, yeah fine, but I don't think he is Shots out. What if I just said his name? I Think that um the guy had AIDS too by the way who sucked his dick and he thought he had my friend thought he had AIDS

From can you get at that? I don't think he didn't know what happened. He just knew he fucked a guy He got a no, he didn't get AIDS But he thought he did and there's like and then he asked the guy did you fuck me and he's like no I just sucked your dick and he's like nice Yeah, if you weren't gay and you woke up from a blackout and someone had sucked you another man had either fucked you or Sucked your dick you would develop PTSD. I don't know. No, dude. This is not something that Is that like that would like so violate your sense of self a deal either? Yeah, honestly No, I don't accept that if I woke up and somebody had fucked me

I would assume I was fucking raped. I wouldn't I wouldn't be like I guess that's what I want There's no fucking way I guess he was just not I'm gonna continue to think of myself as a he didn't Gave by the way and sensually fucked another man. He didn't think it was cool. You just said he said nice All right. Well, I don't you know, he said nice. He didn't have AIDS. No, well, I'm my heart goes out to this guy This poor young man that was raped Being chill He's the chillest rape victim ever Fuck I mean, I think he was rape, but I don't think it was that big of a deal

That's my yeah, that's probably he was gay Speaking of gay guys go see Nick Mullin at Caroline. What next weekend? No Oh, come on man, don't fucking say that about me. Go see Nick. You know, I've got a brain problem I do Nick's gonna be at Caroline's the 10th and 11th. I thought 9 10 9 10 11 9 10th 11th Wow, you take 10 away. That's 9 9 11 6 And then on the next day the 12th we're in Baltimore at auto bar. Is it sold out? I don't know. I don't know some of the people we talked to in DC this weekend So they're also gonna be at that show about blotto bar get drunk as shit yellow Jamel. Mm-hmm. Call me call

Stavros black Stavros black Jamel. Oh, my name is black Stavros chief black Stavros chief going to buffet Damn, it's been a while so good been to a nice Then the second well hold on because your boy Stavros has some dates in the meantime Please come out and see me in Charlottesville on the 17th. I will be back in Baltimore doing a headlining set the 18th. What are you doing in Charlottesville? The southern the southern you should do it. Yeah. Oh, is that a Chris Allen? It's a big bar It's a it's a music venue music venue. Yeah, I'll tell you how it is

I've heard very good things about it a couple of friends of play don't think I think I only know about it from There's like videos of this guy. He's like He's like a fedora with a feather in it guy that does open my comedy respect who uploads these videos I got to find that guy again. I was obsessed with him for a while because he would tape himself Going to shut just for terrible comedy But like then he would tape the two hours preceding the open mic and then two hours after Just of the venue or himself himself, but you get this insane portrait of this delusional man I need that dude with the door. Well, one of them. He's like, you know, just hang out in a parking lot talking about like

We're gonna go to the comedy show tonight or whatever and he's taping other comedian sets Which are still in the video and but it's just like dude, are you fucking taping my set? Like a woman saying that is like, but I was helping you. She's like, don't fucking tape my set And then like cuts and then that's still in there And then like him doing his weird shit on stage, you know, like spinning around. He's wearing a cape. I think, you know And then and then it's him hanging out after and then if you just fast forward in the video He's like freestyling with a bunch of black guys that rocks. Yeah, and it's like, who is This obese dark wing duck GameStop freestyling guy. Oh, this this guy sounds great. Yeah, I wish I could remember his fucking name

But if you guys know who that is, please tell us if you are listening obese dark come come to Charlottesville, man I'll give you a guest spot on the 17th, but come out to that Charlottesville 17th at the southern 18th Me and my little brother are doing a comedy show and gallery opening George Halkus. Very good painter at Suspended brewing company in Baltimore on the 18th at eight o'clock and then the 19th. I'll be back at Philly. Good. Good comedy theater Come fucking right now. It's two shows last time we did three if we can get if we sell out the two We'll do three again. So please come out to that gang and then we the whole squad is in Cleveland on the second For a live pod on the at 420 and then flying to Boston on the third We did not look into whether we should add a second show or try because we thought Nick was going to kill himself

And what was the point? Yes, but we are going to try to get a second day boss. Hey It's not close that mystery box. All right. Just hang on another four weeks But that's if they tell me I got fucking by borderline personality disorder. I have to do it. No, you don't have to do it No, you don't have to do it for the sake of the world. I have to do it. No, you don't You're a good person. No, I'm not even if you're not You are a good person legitimately. Let's say you're not a bad person. Let's say you're a bad person You've been a bad person this whole time. That's sure and the world you've been aiding to the world with you know trolling You you feel you're like that sure. I have hurt people

You you're like dexter, dude. Well, you're a bad guy, but it's for trolling sake Which actually is just bad. So it's not dexter was for good. All right, you're bad But dexter is also a TV show Not a real human being With consequences to his actions Anyway, we uh, we've been waiting on these gyros for about a half hour here gang So there you go. I hope you're all happier. Uh, you can stop asking. This is Nick's gonna die We'll be back

But who knows who knows what sunday holds? No idea, baby Life is like a boxed chocolate. Some of them you wish were a bullet You put your mouth So fucking true. Uh, um, okay boys and girls. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Bye. Bye