The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 118 – Louis SeemsGay

Episode Date: August 30, 2018

Looks like the boys are back in town lol

Yeah, we're in we're live we're live welcome to come down the wind level sound Stop how do the level sound sound pretty good? How does my new? My new XLR cable Yeah, oh wait. No, you're a touch under five Nick and I touch above five who gives a fuck Just keep your mouths on the fucking mics. I'm gonna do that. Don't worry. Yeah, we all know about the inches But where are the levels at you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we're like five point one inches Yeah, yeah, above average stop humble brag. No, I'm a five slightly below maybe five point six two If I had to guess

I put on a little weight it kind of fucked up, you know kind of stole that so it's like insane techno music playing and stuff He's got this laser measurement system Robotic arms descending on his crotch. He's doing weird science. I want every x-men theme plays Dude, I want every single morsel of dick that I can get credit for I'm not giving up a single fucking Iota so guys welcome what I do what I do is I first of all I got into foreskin Regrowth stuff stretch your foreskin way out welcome brother, but the sensitive you never return never does I've I've researched Well, I twisted my dick 180 degrees and then sewed the tip of my dick onto the where it meets my balls Uh-huh, so my dick forms a mobius strip and that way, you know, woman's like what the fuck is out of my bitches technically

infinity inches forever you Mobius strip is a Classic circle dick. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm doing sixth-grade geometry Like an infinity scarf. I don't know what an infinity. Oh, yeah Infinity scarf is probably a mobius strip. Yeah, this is a mobius strip. Just a circle. It's Nick is demonstrating with cardboard what a mobius strip is Okay, it's kind of like a circle

So there's that's only there's only one side to that Uh-huh, uh-huh, but it continues forever. I see. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Nice. Well, can it be a small mobius strip though? Even if it continues forever. Yes, so you have a little ass mobius strip. No, yep It continues now, but it's small. You said they could be small I said the not you bro. They listen man facts. Don't care about your motherfucking feelings pal Neither do my feel my feelings don't care about facts. Yeah, that's not way they trump facts They they go beyond it. And my feeling is that you're wrong. Well, the fact is you have a little ass mobius strict dick I would like to host public debates

It's about like redistricting in some town in Indiana Just me and you people to come out Oh, I thought my son still doesn't have, you know, lunch paid for Like sir, you'll get a minute. I have to re-resolve this issue. Yeah, we will do the problem is that my balls are so big So my dick is little my dick is medium-sized balls are gigantic. I think it was just the true fall Is the public forum debates about whose dick was worse What if you had like you got like Noam Chomsky and like Zizek and then we were the moderators and then we asked them like if you

Sold your dick into a mobius. Yes, would it be bigger small infinity length or would it be very small? Yes, yes, and then they would be like she's crazy. I can't understand. I want to ask him that thing about shitting hamburgers Which was shit out of perfect hamburger. Would you eat it? What did you say about God being a cupcake that you fuck and then you what I said was you could do whatever you wanted If you were God, yeah, you can make a piece of cake that sucks your dick And then you eat it and it doesn't taste like semen like the 50 cent song because you're God Which 50 cent song if I could be God. Oh, yeah a girl. I'm gonna turn you into a birthday cake that sucks dick If I could be God everyone knows

We're familiar with the I smell pussy. Mm-hmm. I think it's coming from you Adam. Yeah, what are you talking about the pussy? That's what that song is. No, I think that you're you're emanating. I think it's coming from you Speaking of which ladies, you don't need to clean yourselves that often You know a non pussy that doesn't smell like anything. Uh-huh. You need to fuck your pH out levels up a bit Okay, why don't you just put some fun dip powder? So you want a real skunked-out pussy? I like a French onion style pussy. Okay with a little strip of cheese. Yeah blocking. Oh That melted fucking Gouda Covering the Clint that is when's the last time we had French onion soup. I'm not a big fan of it

It's it's been a while. I had a really good one the other day where and it really reminded me of if it's good It's good. This place by don't you be very good. Freedom onion soup. Yeah Yeah, it's fucking fraud the Pulutapod fuck fuck the French. Yeah, we're gonna book our flights my phone We'll book the flights at some point my croon can suck my hard cock Macro macrosteno and just macro in short for short means long in Greek so macro macro exactly Yeah, like yeah, and I guess English Might have a big dick, but then micro means small micro. Yeah, micro. It's the same in English

But what I'm saying is I think about Macron having a big dick. Yeah, or a long fuck his teacher. Yeah, which is kind of white teacher, baby Respect to him. He wiped his French teacher. Oh Respect revoked you can't be wife enough that old bitch, dude She's an old bitch. Although he probably gets pussy French French people legally have to get side pussy French people fuck a lot. Yeah, it's weird that they're They're such miserable people. I bet you they're having a nice time. No, French people don't enjoy life Some of them some of them probably do their part. They're party French people. Yeah, they party, but they don't enjoy life

Well, they have nice. They have very nice lives that they hate. They have existentialism I mean, I know what that's what we all know what that's like. Oh, yeah, we're basically French We're French dude. I'm gonna become successful enough. You turn this is a French style French style podcast Yeah, baguette that guy, you know that guy Eric that I'm friends with he went he did a study abroad in France and Sick he used to get in arguments Adam Adam gets mad that I do better impressions of no I do a better Eric than you know, I do a better Eric I do a better Jonah do better Ari you do a better Jonah I do a better Ari. No, you don't you add some I don't let's have an Ari Jonah is probably gonna arrive while we're doing your Ari is just a copy of mine

Well, I will close my eyes. I will close my eyes You can hear from what side of the room it's coming from. No, I've got headphones on I don't like these competitions First of all, I already I am the master of this podcast. I will decide who wins the competition Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it right now Adam's in the lead because I'm getting a little too much lip from you Nick So go ahead. Thank you. Sovros. Go ahead. This is your bias There's nothing to do with the fucking impression. Yes, it does. You just admitted your fucking bias We're gonna do an impressive sportsmanship. This is an impression competition of two people that no one Say for like guys to hang out in the DJ booth at funny mom

Yes, so no no Eric Eric doesn't but we're not talking about Eric Let's go. We're not doing Eric. You can do it. I can't do Jonah. Jonah's hard and okay So you already see I see Jonah. Okay, go go Eric for like 10. Go Eric. How long you've been doing Ari? Ari for more than that Ari and I've been But how long have you been doing him? Doing impression impression. I've been doing impression of him. I've been doing impression of him since we were maybe 14 or 15 Okay, I reject. I don't listen. I never won. I see the line of question. You're going down And what you're trying to do is logic your way to this win when you got to get in the booth and voice your way

Okay, let's do it. Let's do it blind blind test. Okay, there's Eric Okay, so there is this bitch. Okay in some static Move your phone. Move your phone. Okay, so there's this bitch in Spokane, Washington Who is she was a white? She's a white bitch, but she was couldn't she was head of the NWACP Okay, yeah next. Okay, dude Adam is such a bitch. Oh damn. That's pretty good Adams Adam's impression is the worst fucking impression I've ever heard this storm this storms peace dude Dude, Adam has the fucking literally the worst fucking impression See the only problem is that you're bleeding into a different impression that you do which we shall remain nameless

But I'm gonna give this one. Wait, who is the other one? What was the other one to Nick? What's the other impression? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, they have similar voices. Yeah, I don't I don't accept that you I don't know It doesn't next one. I'm the master. It doesn't matter what you fucking accept and this is uh, this is Ari Oh, so you can say Aaron Berg's name. You're right. Well, Aaron's not gonna get his feelings hurt that I do an impression of them Everyone does an impression. You're right. We all do this voice Yeah, I mean it's like don't tell Lewis Lewis Look, I'm in master mode. I'm not in come. So that was so you're saying that he didn't Aaron Berg impression

I didn't Stop you should quietly mouth things to me more often Yeah, I like I like that interaction. Yeah, like is there gonna be Okay, next one, please Adam Adam has the shittiest impression of Ari. No, no, that's not it at all. Now it is When I was a kid people used to say that my dad was a pornographer But he's actually owns a business that does medical device Instructional videos

That's terrible. No, it's he does medical device. I call too close to call Florida Florida hanging chat hanging chat. So Nick Supreme Court two to one. You see the ding ding ding ding That was that was the uh, Lewis Gomez vs. Ryan O'Neill impressions fights Did Lewis reckon that's out to Lewis? Uh, Lewis won and you know what I'm not gonna I'm not gonna take a single thing away from that man I didn't accept to make fun of him for wearing a shirt and said that it was an embarrassing fight to watch Hilarious that he did wear a shirt. It's so funny because he he got pretty good. He got in pretty good shape

He didn't wear a shirt. He wore like a rash guard. Yeah, like they no I mean it literally looked like boogie boarding It looked like a company that it like a startup that makes shirts for fat kids that are afraid of the pool Yeah, yeah, I got flashbacks. I got a fat kid in the pool. It was a rash guard. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean hey look I I I I legitimately feel bad for not believing in him But he triumphed. I mean I that Ryan guy like sucked. Yeah, didn't he have like an MMA guy trained him? He did. Yeah, so Lewis knows fighters like real fighters. I was under the impression that Ryan guy like trained

It did this shit all the time. That's what I thought too. Yeah, and then I mean you look at him and tell him that Oh, he took karate in like 1993. Right. Right. Right. Yeah I saw it actually there was at the same day. There was another celebrity Uh, uh micro celebrity fight, which was Logan Paul your dick your dick fighting your balls versus my micro A micro versus some uh, say get out of here chowder head versus some boys Settle settle down boys. Let's not hate each other again. Shut up asshole. Shut up you fucking faggot We could have been a pussy if it weren't for you

You've seen my ball. You know how much harder it is to make money having to be friends with two other guys We could have just fucked for cash and jewels I Adams dick mad he couldn't sell his theoretical pussy could you get jewelry for your dick? Yeah, of course. I mean so I've been talking about getting chains and rings and shit for your dick. Well for our bodies I want to chain for sure. Yeah, I have a chain. I've been wearing a chain Yeah, but you don't pull it off. Yeah, you actually do wear a swag at the little earring and a chain

I'm a jewelry guy now. That's really the only thing the podcast has changed about me. Yeah Yeah, I've become a jewelry guy. I want I want to chain really bad if anyone knows where to get a good chain in New York City Somebody sent me a Tony the tiger chain That's cool. You know what? I still have yet to regret giving my address out to people Everything I receive is such a pleasant surprise. I would if I didn't live with other people The only thing I feel bad about receiving is somebody sent me they're like, hey, you know like I know you like reading and stuff Here's like a novelette. I wrote or and it's like you're like Well, I'm sure it's you're gay. I'm sure it's good. I just like I don't have time to read 50 pages of yeah

Yeah, some guys bringing his copy of call me by your name to have you sign tonight right moms I'm too busy rereading call me by your name No, he is he said can Nick sign it. I was like, of course sure Oh, okay, and then someone else asked if we could sign the choppo book and I said no, how about call me by your train And it's about two autistic guys that Fuck each other two autistic guys that run a train Do you think that like train hobos in the 20 in the 30s suck and fucked we're like autistic guys that like, you know That was like that. They just didn't know that everything had gears and machinery the way trains do everything was steampunk

Yeah back then so they were in fact, they were probably cool guys They might have been gay guys They just wanted to suck and fuck on those train train hobos had to have been there had to have been a disproportionate amount of autistic guys No, I think gay guys and I'm basing that strictly you think it's gay guys I'm basing that strictly off of madmen were salve. It's a shame that before he died John McCain's brain tumor didn't cause him to just act out in like very public homosexual displays How funny would that have been? I know that's not how brain Doers work goddamn cool. Just bring me that goddamn dick in my mouth

All right, peter the maverick, man. Yeah, you know The fucking true maverick. Look, you don't have to you don't have to agree with the fact that the guy, you know Wanted to drag us into war with every country in the world And and kill a bunch of people. Yeah, but you do have to expect that he was a war hero You have to respect that he crashes Fucking That's the only part I can relate to is like being bad at doing your job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean He just didn't that's what I meant by war hero. Yeah. Yeah. The only part of him I identify with is the bad at flying

Yeah, I couldn't fly a plane. Yeah, but he got to fly because his dad owned was like an admiral Yeah, he owned the Navy something like that. Yeah. Well, he was the boss of the army. Yeah. Yeah I will give him credit for not getting released or whatever, but whatever Here's what I was thinking. What if he gets to heaven and the juiciest pussy of all time is there? But you have to reach above your head to get it. Mm-hmm. You can't you can't you think you think you'll still be paralyzed arms back Yeah, no, I wouldn't But what do you know what else would be funny if everyone's saying like Aretha Franklin is in heaven and shit Mm-hmm. What if he gets there all those fucking Vietnamese guys there? No, what happens to be there?

Of course, he gets the 72 the 72 virgins for his contributions to global jihad It turns out heaven's real But then the muslim god is like no, you've actually really helped You've actually done a lot for jihad Believe it or not. Yeah, he's like fuck it. Just give me the goddamn pussy Give me that and they're all vietnamese lady boys Mm-hmm. Yeah secret vc spies the good shit. Yeah, the good shit. That's that cunt So I do want to say in these trying times if um anyone has a picture of his daughter's titties

I did I will Megan. Yeah, they're pretty big. She's busted, dude Dude, she's nasty. Say what you will about her falling form policy, but I will not I will not have you fucking disrespect How big that lady's too? You see her get owned by joy bayhar on the view. That was awesome. That was so funny I wanted to suck off joy right then and there. Yeah There's I I used to think it was very funny when uh fred armisen did joy bayhar How about instead of joy bayhar? It's boy bayhar. Yeah, it's guys only. Okay. It's still a woman named joy bayhar But only man can fuck her. Yeah This pussy's just for the phallus. Oh shit. Where are we at? I forgot to keep track. Oh, we are at

Can you see Adam? I can't see Uh 17 17 inches dick Time timer timer timer Um, so you ever you ever set the stopwatch on your phone and you forget to turn it off and then you check it days later And you're like fuck. I'm just dying. Yeah. Yeah. It's been 182 hours. Yeah, and you've done nothing Yeah, nothing. I've cycled through the same four problems in my head that there's no solution to really. Yeah. Well, there's the final solution The final. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. The final countdown

Um, another thing that happened Some guy got got it some guy shot up a fucking man tournament. Yeah, sounds like he was super mad and I'm pretty mad. It sounds like he's a pretty mad guy. Do you ever watch rage quit comps? Compilations on youtube. It's gonna be better as a guy driving a john madden bus through a crowd That's sure. That would have been the ultimate if it was john madden shooting up the john madden tournament. Yeah, yeah Yeah, john god damn nerds Somebody drove a john madden bus through bestial day That's confusing trying to get to that game in london

Yeah, you just ended up killing people and What the fuck they do a bestial they they rush the prison. Is that correct? Yeah, they stormed the best deal. Is that the prison the best deal? Yeah, the best deal is the prison where they kept all of the uh The good friends revolution people for sure something like that. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah My only knowledge of The french revolution comes from tale of two cities And my only knowledge of tale of two cities comes from tale of two kitties the The garfield

So from my understanding is the dover represents the original garfield where his collet is Obviously the imposter garfield. Yes It's all because all the rich garfields were hiding all the lasagna And then the fucking odys did some other shit I'm not even familiar with tale of two kitties. I don't know Oh, you haven't read the novelization of Garfield Was that a real movie? Yeah, dude. You don't remember Bill Murray in it. I know he was in the first one

Uh tale of no, I think it was Lorenzo music That's a guy's name. No, you know what? That's who played garfield on the animated series. Lorenzo music. What? That's a cool ass name, dude. Wow. Nick. Did he play music? Get your phone away. No, I'm looking up the fucking garfield tale of two kitties 2006 british-american family comedy film Uh written by the cohen brothers actually That's what they yeah, literally written by Joel Cohen who's a different guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's why Bill Murray said he agreed to it because he thought it was a cohen brother's movie. That's so fucking funny

The sequel 2004 film garfield some other guy named Joel Cohen wrote it. Does bill Murray fuck Scarlett Johansson in that movie in japan? No, they're friends. Damn. I'm gonna have bill Murray's in it But that would be tight. Bob Hoskins is in it. Damn. He made some super mario stakes, dude Super mario movie is so fucking funny. Yeah, such a piece of shit It's hilarious because like they went to some coked out 80s screenwriter and was like, look, can you adapt this game? and the guy's like All right. Yeah. Yeah. What what is a game? You know, like he's an italian plumber and he's got to fight this turtle. He's like, yeah, that's enough. I'll figure it out

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like he has a lizard dimension and you know, Dennis Hopper is like he's bowser, right? He's bowser. I'm gonna play mario tennis. Yeah, it's just tight, dude. Yeah, I've been whooping out. This is ass and mario tennis Yeah, I just bought a couple more controllers for the switch boys. You should come over and play doubles. Yeah, you know what we should play is poker Yeah, a gambling and other game. Maybe we can gamble on gamble at bettysi.com Yeah, I the premier sports betting sports book website. Uh-huh. Yeah, they've been in business over 20 years paying out winners They got an easy to use fun mobile app Oh, I love that as opposed to the regular kind of that's suck dick. I get on them. I'm like, ah, dude. What the fuck is that?

I need a mobile app. I don't need something. I have to sit down and use As a computer. Do you dock your phone and use both hands? I'm on the go constantly. I need a mobile app. Always gambling on bettysi.com They got easy to use 24 7365 days a week 366 if you're lucky. Oh, yeah, leap year. That's uh That's Got it. I don't know. I can't think of anything for leap year No, I don't know you kill you. That's here. You kill yourself take the jump off. Yep. Might as well jump Might as well jump

Yeah So, yeah, you can bet on other shit, too. You know in-game motherfucking later about trans hailing Also good. Yeah, bet on that at bettysi.com the concept of Call up the customer service dude 24 7365 days a week and say how about trans hailing He's like, yes, and then you ask them for the promo code No, I did get a little bit of pushback for them because I said the promo code wrong again Oh, so maybe it's not my fault, right? They changed it on me. So we have any pick stuff

Um, let's see here. Yes, you know, here's my here's my pick. Oh, yeah I think you were just about to say it in the motherfucking u.s. Open fucking Uh, chichi boss chichi boss. I don't know how you fucking say his name. All right But there's a greek fucking tennis player put your whole fucking put your money on that motherfucker. Isn't that that guy cure geos or whatever? No, he's not he's australian. He's australian. He's ethnically greek lives in australia This guy is fucking chichi boss is fucking greek, bro. Got the little greek flag next to his name. His name is shits his pants Yeah, shits his pants. I don't know what his fucking first name is. Um, I think yeah, definitely bet on this guy He stopped doesn't know his first name. Yes

Yes, bet on him dude. His name is stavros. Oh, you got a bet on this guy. His name is, I don't know something, but I Stefanos chichi boss Okay, who's that boy and you're betting on him to win at all for the whole motherfucking thing. He's gonna win the whole tournament What's he ranked? He's ranked 15th 15th. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Good money. Good. Good odds on that motherfucker Um, for me, I don't think you can bet on it But there is a tournament on twitter for the worst online Uh fan base most annoying fan base. Oh, yeah, I saw that and I saw that our fans made it through the first round I want to make it the whole goddamn way through. Yeah, we're growing up against chris hardwick in this round

None of us have raped or whatever he did, but Did he rape? I don't know. He did some bad. Yeah some bad shit, but I believe in you boys Allegedly, but he he held that girl at gunpoint when she was eight and he fucked her mouth and ass In front of a comic con panel. Oh, yeah, I don't remember. I mean, this is allegedly This is already already a month ago. So I don't remember all the details. Yeah. Yeah something Something along that a month ago. Yeah, and he got his jaw back. Yeah, that's what he got him back And then just blew a giant load all over her face and he said how's that for a meltdown? Yeah Oh the meltdown. Yeah, I get that meltdown comics. Yeah, I've got a comic book for you right here

And he had a book Of pictures of her nude as an infant. Oh my god held together with his own That's really terrible. It was the bound with his own seamen. Did we ever finish this read? What? Oh, yeah I think we could be bet the aside Hey pal, you can bet on When they'll pull their athletes Which is probably already we're gonna. Yeah, we're gonna. They're gonna cancel our account those Greek guys

That's that's it boss, baby Stefano shits his pants and you can do it with promo code cum 120 CUM 120 and they will give you 120 bonus on your deposit You know, so you put down $200 you get stavros hit him with the map. Oh dude, so you get 120 percent of whatever you get $240 $240 bonus Yes, I think that was right. Yeah, that's right. $370. That's right. When you really do when you really I think if you add them together, that's right So yes, do that. Yeah, and I think it was weird that they wanted us to say all that stuff about chris hardwick, but

Legally they did not ask us to do that But you know I bet the aside.com is not affiliated with the come town party Outside of the promo code, which is it is that we also have a little sdx But um me stop Stop nicking at him. Not bet the I didn't understand why that part I just like talking in dumb voices like this. Yeah Um, yeah, so anyways step on us

That's I was watching michael windslow videos the other day There's one where he's on like the local news and some shit and the woman's like now the other night on gym and then first of all Any like all of daytime network television every single one of those those people on there is just drunk out of them Oh, yeah on loot like just pain pills. Oh like the so fuck. Yeah. Yeah the midday news Yeah, that's a rough one just like a woman who like one of her eyes is shut And she's like and we'll be back with uh the pilates cats in a minute, but first Michael windslow who you may recognize from police academy movies. The interview is fucking hilarious. First of all, he's dressed like a lego man

Like like a lego for a poor child where they just assembled him out of other lego bands respect the bright orange Like pirate pants bright orange shirt and a bowling bowler hat. Oh, yeah This uh, like he's never seen anyone put on clothes. Yeah, like an alien doing he's gotta be in his 50s or 60s We told him 50. Yeah, he's probably in his like late 60s. Yeah. Yeah, I mean 60s. Yeah, yeah police academy is like early 80s Right. Yeah, good. Yeah, whatever whatever. Yeah net worth google that He's not that rich dude. He's doing gigs with everyone. Well. Yeah, she's like She's talking about she's talking about like uh, you know last night on uh, jimmy fallon We saw you do an impression of jimmy hendrix's guitar. Can you do that for us?

And he goes 59. Yeah, well done. Yeah, he goes, uh, you guys, uh, uh, you did an impression of jimmy hendrix's guitar Can you do that for us? And he goes, no He wouldn't do any he saves that for this for the stage. He wouldn't do anything The only sound effect he does while he's on there is a chicken Which is Anyone could do that anyone could do the chicken is nothing that differentiates michael windslow and then she's asked him She's like, do you have any advice? For younger people trying to get into this and there's not even a name

Sound effects and the only advice should be do something. I mean, there's only one michael windslow Yeah, it's not like there's a whole industry of people that make sound effects right and even he's absolutely granted I haven't looked into it yet. She's like and can we look for you in anything and he's like I swear to fucking god. He goes well, you know, uh, uh, I can't promise anything but there are rumors bound about a police academy eight Oh That's miserable Yeah, didn't goodenberg retire from acting. Is it goodenberg dead? No, no, no, he's not dead He was funny. Oh rigmaranis retired from acting. Yeah, because his wife died, remember? Yeah

Goodenberg, he did a hilarious thing on uh party down. Oh, I remember that where he was like, oh goodenberg's kind of ripped now He's ripped. Yeah, he's got like a good-looking guy. Yeah. Yeah. He looks good. Yeah He's still got his hair was like the most famous guy of all time for like three years He had a run so weird. He had a run and then it just didn't happen I was always a steve goodenberg. You think hanks you think is because tom hanks just came through and was cuter than him I don't know. I thought he was incredibly charismatic funny, but basically they're in the same lane. Yeah, I guess You know what I mean? Tom hanks fucked that fish and everyone's like oh I mean it is weird that tom hanks is as successful as he is because it's not he's not he's so he's so milk toast

He's so boring and he's not in anything that's really particularly good Good, where does that come from milk toast? I don't know. No, I'm not a fan of that. No, what is the best? What is the best tom hanks movie saving pride run? Yeah, yeah, but that doesn't really count Um, the one where he fucks. No, I said you probably count daryl hannah. All right. Say not saving. No No, he's actually actually that that's seen at the end of captain phillips where he like Doesn't realize at first that he's been rescued and then it hits him. It's good acting. He's a good actor It is good. He does. He does kind of it is pretty good. Oh castaway

Castaway is he he acts real hard that whole movie is just him in that ball Forest gump sucks the terminal sully The green mile phillip delphia. What's this guy? He does a couple of some airport bullshit Couple of fucking airport movies green mile eight meg ryan's pussy or something Philadelphia he acts he acts good in that yeah sleepless in seattle Oh, that's that's a fucking great one. That's a good one. You think cloud atlas. Damn. Remember how stupid that was a piece of shit There's that came out. They have like chinese versions of themselves. They're wearing like prosthetics

I didn't saloon. There was all this. Is that that movie uh, uh, the golden compass and then like sky captain in the world of tomorrow No, there was all these movies that had titles where it's like, oh, I'll never see this What's this shit about the guy and the tiger on the boat? I always pie. I used to confuse that with cloud atlas I I read the gold life of the guy and his guys. Oh, yeah, hell yeah Um, I read the golden compass is a little kid. She was good, dude You get some she called a daemon or some shit a matt daemon. It's like a little I remember reading uh, like It was like stormfront or something when golden compass came out. Yeah, there was like an article about uh

Not an article like a post on the forum. Oh, do you mean you read that? I thought that was like the name of another book But you mean the racist. Oh the race. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah No, I found it. I found a thread on either stormfront or like vanguard news network or something where somebody was complaining about uh The golden compass and I mean it was the golden compass or something It's one of those types of movies Yeah, and how they and I think I've told this to her in the podcast before how they enjoyed it aside from the The quote in words centaurs Like as a racist the fact that the black people in the movie are half animal

It'd actually be like you think that's like them meeting you halfway This guy's just imagining his girlfriend being fucked by a literal horse Oh, fuck dude, that's so funny. You know what I'm looking at tom hanks is I take back what I said. He's got quite the career here. Oh, he's crushed it a league of their own Yeah, tom hanks rules and he's very good. No, I don't like tom hanks. Who's your favorite actor? My favorite actor of all time. It's like main stream. Paul Newman. All right, that's a good Paul Newman is the best actor I've ever lived Was he ever in turner and hooch though with where he co-starred with a fucking dog remember cop and a half?

I don't Bert Reynolds and some little black kid The little kid got to be a cop. Yeah, Bert Reynolds has to like take some black You don't remember cop and a half. No, it's like one of my favorite movies when I was a little kid I don't remember that. It's just some piece of shit Bert Reynolds comedy. Yeah. Yeah, we're nothing's fun. Oh, you know, there's not a single good joke I would watch it over and over and over I watch there's a cop movie with j leno and it's got it's got 15 percent on

Have you seen that cop movie with j leno and mr. Miyagi? No, and it takes place in Detroit that rule. It's psycho. It's on HBO go right now. Look at this picture of Bert Reynolds Oh, hell yeah, dude. Holy shit. These are like rose colored glasses Clearly fucked up man. Remember that story about him posing nude in playgirl because he thought it was for women Yeah, he got pissed off that you guys were jacking off too. Yeah. What the hell is this? I thought it was supposed to be women jacking off to me There was a cop and a half new recruit in 2017. Uh, what the what the fuck with blue diamond philips

They thought that they needed to reboot cop and a half 15 percent on rotten tomatoes. No one remembers it. It's from when from like 1993. You know, we should watch There's a there's a dice movie the adventures of ford fairlock. Yeah, I've never seen it. I want to watch it Yeah, I think it's on something. I think I almost watched it, but I was done. I was with company that was like, no What the fuck is wrong with you? I would love to watch the dice movie Day the laughter died isn't me. It's my favorite comedy album of all time easily It's so good. I've listened to it the most more than any other comedy album Listen, listen to the plot of this fucking movie hit me with it

Devin Butler is an eight-year-old boy lives in Tampa and dreams of being a cop Watches police tv shows knows police procedures and plays cops and robbers of this friend He killed his own father one day while snooping around in a warehouse. Hell. Yeah already. Yes. What no one does that He witnesses a murder He goes to the police who want the information, but he refuses to give it unless they make him a cop Well, we have no other choice but to make him a cop There's nothing in the rulebook that says they then team him with veteran cop and child hater Detective nick McKenna. Oh, he hates children

Dude, the only scene I remember classic conflict only scene. I remember in that movie is when they're having they have a sword fight So they both with their dicks the eight-year-old boy and Bert Reynolds is a grown man Pulled their cocks out in sword fight with their piss streams. Wait, really in the movie. Yes. Hell. Yes. That's hilarious Bert Reynolds is trying to piss and the child comes in and goes sword fight and then they start sword fighting So Bert Reynolds looks at this child's penis pisses on him Yeah What a good ass movie detective nick McKenna and they team up in a comic series of events to find the killer and take down a

Drug kingpin who ordered the hit they eventually come to a mutual understanding in order to bring the killer to justice Oh, yeah, yeah, dude cop and a half And problem child problem child that did oh, yeah, I saw that a million John Ritter just getting owned by this little Last kid. Yeah That moved four percent on ron the tomato problem child. What? Yeah, I thought that was a great movie Of course, dude. All the movies you loved as a kid were awful. Damn. Yeah, like because they're incredibly simple and it's just like 80 minutes of you know, like somebody stuck my dick in my ass Laxative pranks against me president. Yeah. Oh, yeah every one of those movies had a thing where first someone accidentally had laxatives

I was like all these liberals that are like, how am I to explain trump to my son or whatever and it's like Trump as president would make an excellent early 90s children They're like he's bad, but they can't stop him. Yeah. Now he has control of the nukes What's he doing with it cheating on his wife and eating candy? This summer problem child for Problem president ronald plump, dude. Yeah ronald plump ronald plump They defeated him with logic and reason and jacked old men That you definitely don't want to fuck your ass hold you down and fuck your ass those. Yeah, those two twin brothers

They're just look like kendall's they fuck each other. I forgot michael richards was in problem child. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, he was hilarious. He's like a great physical comedian. No I'm gonna teach you some words Let's hit the laugh factory problem child Those clips of like Seinfeld when they would when they edit it Another bloopers where you get mad at them. You get mad. Yeah. Yeah, like there's somebody would like, you know laugh during a scene And be like trying to be a fucking professional here I love the edit I've said this before but I love the edit when they there's like an episode of Seinfeld where kramer's on the news

And they're like, oh my god It's kramer and then they splice in the he's a They're like, oh kramer. It's just so good, man Did you see that that edit of friends without the laugh track where it's just ross beating up a woman? He's like the girls take a self-defense class and then he feels like he masculated because he can't fight And so at the end like he has to like he fights a woman to prove that he's strong But there's no laugh track. So it's just like The one where it's like ross showing up and he's explaining how he like accidentally like

Tried to have sex at a 14 year old or something. But they edited the laugh track out. So it's just ross being like I didn't know she was 14 Or something like that Yeah, ross is a pedophile That's how I feel about what we just said about all those shitty movies because I used to love friends, dude When I was like a little kid, I was like, yeah, this is my shit when I was like 10 I was like, yeah, I can't wait to be a cool adult. I can't wait to have friends, dude I watched that show and just fantasized about someone talking to me. I wanted to go to I was like to at a coffee shop

It's just gonna be cool. It's yeah. Yeah when I'm in a coffee shop Yeah, I remember seeing office space and I was in like sixth grade. I'm like, man, I can't wait to have a job To my own apartment where I drink two beers before passing out Hey, you know, I'll be honest when I was like 2021 and I worked in a fucking shitty call center and like Yeah, came home and drank myself to sleep. It was all right. It wasn't bad. It was pretty good. Yeah Yeah, because that why it was pretty good. It was because you were just like you're dumb exactly You're like not you're between childhood and actually you're putting off real responsibilities So it's like getting to be a big ass kid. Yeah, never have that. What's why it's getting in like eight hours at call of duty

Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah And feeling good about it. Mm-hmm But then but the older I become the more childish I become, you know more more playful the more child Is your penis gets I got a child Childish I tell this bitch my shit ain't small is child That might be my favorite character. What's that guy's name Lorenzo? Yeah, Lorenzo the child with the child I tell this bitch look am wake up. I drink my nescafe espresso

All right head on down to the nail salon Get my friend's manicure get my shit beautied up All right, then I go have a little lunch the samples at the cost code. They can't kick me out They don't they cannot my face too beautiful. They don't know the difference to me and my auntie I walk right in there Same same ass hair cut You know They say under 3000 sorry sorry for the confusion ma'am and I say that's all right

I go have two hot pockets day on display Hey, there's those in mind. I'm getting the first ones my hands off go back to the nail salon Wash my hands and from that point on we're talking 10 30 11 a.m. It's fucking bitches till midnight I got I got a whole system set up. I know that whole transit system I ride the 43 bus to Yolanda's house. Fuck that bitch With my childish ass penis She don't even wake up. That's how I like Huh say, oh stay asleep, bitch

That's right. She's like, oh, who is that? I'm like shut up Go back to sleep. It's my auntie. It's yeah She's yeah, she ain't waking up from the dick. She's waking up because she smelled a hot the Costco won't Waking up the smell. She's gonna smell. She's gonna smell that Faber J eggs and the trampolines And I'm Kirkland brand jeans, you know, I said she's like, what is that? Is that 200 batteries right 99? I'll say shut up, bitch. Go back to sleep I'm being childish Childish ass Lorenzo Lorenzo go to my auntie's house

Oh, you know, I thought I saw a hilarious name that could have been Lorenzo's actual name There's a quarterback on florida state named deandre france wall I remember you saw that truck, Greg war. Oh, yeah, Greg war. Yeah Uh, bonjour, where is the beach is? Buses out to pussy. Why the bound? Um, oh nick, are you timing? No, who are we at? Uh, 41. Oh, damn. You know what that means, baby. Yeah, it's time to shit your underwear right off your fucking body Whatever you're wearing, take it off throw it away. We got better underwear for you. We got mac welden on there Mac fucking welden mac welden.com

They believe in smart design premium fabric simple shopping no matter how childish your penis is click by win, you know, you know what I'm saying No, that's the wrong one You know, I for a long time I didn't wear underwear. Oh, Lorenzo Lorenzo you're a you're a mac welden user. That's right. It's silky smooth like butter I got a baby dick and a baby's mind Smooth like a baby Bick like a baby. Now does your dick smell like Costco? My dick don't smell like shit, baby Because mac welden they got a line of

natural, I don't want to do the voice over silver uh Underwear and shirts that are naturally antimicrobial, which means that the sore odor it's like a little uh Little uh bacon soda. Mm-hmm. You know, mm-hmm. Well bacon soda box. That's right in the kooch. Oh, yeah That's what you do. You put a little armin hammer right in that pussy. Oh, you get you make a bitch put the armin hammer Do a volcano experiments in a push pussy. That's right. Put some vinegar down there fourth grade science fair. Mm-hmm. Yeah Um, yeah, and they got great shirts hoodies duffel bags socks shit most comfortable shit You'll ever fucking wear in your life. I guarantee it. You're gonna like the way you look

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McDonald Douglas airplanes Mm-hmm Blackwater Qtaburro private airport. We used to they used to be a oh, right. These would be a westboro Baptist church They stopped advertising way too early. They should have they should have given us some time. Yeah Just let just let it rock for a couple just because I said I'd suck george carlin's dick That I'd go to hell and suck his dick if it meant we could have Uh, find out a couple more words back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what else we can't say on tv, man. Yeah, that's why I want him back

You know the seven racial slurs. You're not allowed to say on tv jink Dude that clip of him going through all the racial slurs. All right, I put it on instagram Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just edit out the punchline and the setup and it's the funniest thing in the world It's just five minutes to him just being like kike honky And people like That is good as hell. He's up there with mccain right now. You know, it's funny when I started comedy George carlin was like a god

Like that there was nothing you couldn't be more than george carlin in my mind I thought george carlin was the fucking guy. Yeah, and then I go back and watch it now and it's like this is so stupid Yeah, I mean, it's so there's a lot of it's so really good a lot of it's really but all that fucking wordplay nonsense Yeah, that's download your megabytes. I hate that shit. Yeah. Yeah, but I do I actually like his first out like class clown. I love that the old carlin like the old clips of him on the tonight show When he's like jokey, he looks kind of like a normal guy It's like before he became like a hippie grandpa kind of look. Yeah. Yeah. He was great. Yeah Um

I always I was always a richard prior guy when I was like, I always thought he was yeah prior to yeah prior carlin Kind of occupied the same space in my head. Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah But then even but then yeah my like casual comedy interests are pretty stupid. I thought like jimber was like my favorite Yeah, you said that before dude jimber or hardcore. I thought he was hilarious. I thought pablo francisco is hilarious That's true. I remember being like 14 being like that's gonna be me man a guy that talks about we Carlos men see his first half hour. I really like Was that the one that ends with that him trying to have that like solemn note where he's like because sometimes

Then he just walks. I think it was. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. And I was like damn Carlos. Really? I mean, I was like I like 11. I like I like dain cook that first one the first day and cook was great It was a black hilarious the black tank top. Yeah, it was a big thing. He was using the space so well, dude He was all over that never like dain cook, but I was already kind of like a comedy snob. Oh, I was it I was like, yeah, I was like 12 years old 13. Yeah, we were young as shit back then. Yeah. I know I was already kind of a snob Um, yeah, I that that Pablo Francisco special. I saw a million times. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's great And you had to do it on tv. You know, I miss liking stand-up. Yeah. Oh, yeah being able to watch it really. Yeah. Yeah

Um, yeah, I used to watch comedy and listen to it. It's not all the time. I can't do it anymore Because you know, I don't want I don't want, you know to be influenced my art has to be pure, dude Yeah, my my stuff about how I don't fuck that good I don't want I don't want anybody else. No one else in the game is doing that. Stop. Yeah. Stop. You're on your Marco Polo shit, dude Well, it's just it's like uncharted waters, baby A part of me is like, oh, well, is it because that I've been In comedy so long now that I'm jaded that like stuff I see I like judge it more harshly or whatever But then I go back and watch older shit and it's like, oh, no comedy used to be better

Comedy was easily. Yes, dude. I went back. I went. I was like trying to sit down and watch Old Steve Harvey shit to laugh at it to make fun of it. And it's like this man is a genius He's he is so much better at comedy It's stand-up comedy than like anyone. We're fucking friends. What the king's special No, he's like independent specials. I don't think I've seen too many of those. Steve Harvey is not to be I mean, he's like a buffoon and he's an idiot. It's silly Every opinion he holds is wrong the premises or whatever

Yeah, I mean that shoot like I send me to a rack. I'll kill the children That's funny though. It's funny. But then his execution of that bit is also so much better than most. Well, he's performing Yeah, yeah, he's performing, but he's like it's fucking funny, dude. Yeah, it's really funny I think cat. Williams is really funny cat. Williams is great. He's amazing. Cat Williams is fucking awesome His last special was pretty fucking good. Seriously like white people white people voting this year in line Like they got a secret. Oh that That act that act out is so funny. What does that step forward step thing? I mean the physicality of it He does that out

But he starts but he's I watched a couple back to back. He's the he does a couple of the act That's at the say every time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm all in. I don't give a fuck. You want you want the greatest hits, baby Of course Yeah, I mean he does just sweating the second he does do 15 minutes 15 minutes on Jacksonville at the beginning Of the new special that is like how the hell does this guy know so much about Jacksonville? He's not even from there. Now a comedy kind of hit a stride again in like the probably mid to late 90s and But I wasn't that like kind of the dark era that was in terms of business but in terms of business who was funny

Yeah, I wouldn't say yeah, but I also do feel like there is like p I don't know really old shit. It's kind of like watching the NBA or like old sports. Yeah, they're not as good Yeah, it's just like there's not as many laughs per minute. There's not as much. Yeah, and I think probably there isn't There's probably an era that was like more contemporary Yeah, but compared to I mean look at the state comedy's in and it's like nanette is the most popular. Oh, true. Yeah, that sucks dick Yeah, yeah Well as a weird, I mean comedy is so bad now that it's just moved away from comedy Which like stand up whatever dude comedy's not I don't think comedy is important. So well stand up comedy

That's what I'm fucking talking. Yeah, I don't mean comedy at large, but I mean that but no, that's also true. They don't make comedy movies anymore. They're not profitable They don't make them anymore. They're like the last like major studio like comedy. I haven't watched drew michael's thing yet He just had a hbs special. Yeah, but there's no audience. Oh, he's alone It's him. It's it's like shots of him up close and then you know, that's weird Yeah, I don't know. I haven't seen I mean, I'm friends. Is it an hour drew and he's a good comic, but that seems weird Yeah, yeah Well, I mean, what's her name did that Maria Banford did that for her cat. No, no, she did that for her parents

That was good. I but it's like it's like how is this the evolution of comedy instead of just writing more jokes, right? Yeah, well, that's what I mean It's like it's that's just not the same thing with Nanette where it's just like I mean this could be good But it's not a stand-up comic like it is I don't know and where are you going? Adam has to piss everyone. Apologize Adam He refuses Anyway, man. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. It's I

There is an impulse always with anything to be like, well, everything's been done already, but it's not true I mean, that's just that that's never fucking true. Yeah, it's standing on a stage and talking There's infinite fucking possibilities for sure. Do it to an audience and make them laugh. It's be funny. Yeah, and I mean, that's how I feel. I don't overthink the shit. I don't overthink anything. I've tried I try not to think you don't even yeah Yeah, forget overthink, but like I just want to get on stage and do what's funny to me and right figure it out Yeah, I don't really give a fuck where I stand. I'm not really trying to like I mean I'm not trying to be you know I'm not trying to

Be reductive, but I'm also not like oh, I have to be cutting edge or whatever. I'm just I'm a fucking idiot who Talks about shit that makes me feel bad and then hopefully I find a joke in it. You know what I mean? I don't really know that's all comedy is. Yeah. Yeah, and I and I don't find it to be a higher art form I think it's stupid. No, it's not a high art. It's barely art. It's barely art. Yeah, yeah But if I can some people sometimes On a very rare occasion can do something. You're like, oh, that's good. That's That makes me like Think about how look, you know being alive or whatever. Yeah

Louis had like a couple old jokes and specials where I've been like, oh, that's like Yeah, that's on a different level and I'd like to maybe have one my goal is but you have to be like in your great special You have to be in your 40s to yeah, you it comes with like life experience and like to like get gravitas or like whatever Yeah, but Yeah, I think I think it's yeah, totally fine. I mean Cameron Cameron Esposito's Her rich she did a thing called rape jokes. I'm going to work any rape jokes in it some kind of giant totem That's my gonna be my life's work. Okay, like a tower of babble some yes some giant tower. How tall? Uh, it's got to be taller in the world trade center, obviously you'd want to go you it would be unfinished

You would keep wanting to keep building go higher and higher. Would it just be a collection of shit? you just like just like pots and like Various items Garbage tower you're hot gluing it together and tumbles. You're like, what's babble? That's not Sodom and Gomorrah It's no babbles contains all of the languages and then it was destroyed by God because he doesn't didn't want And he spread everyone else around everyone around the world and gave them different languages So they people talking to each other snitching on each other. I think they were trying to get up to see him or something Be like fuck you with different languages. I don't really remember that so one floor was like Chinese and one floor

No, no, everyone spoke the same language Before they did it I think And then I think God got mad and was like, so if you're racist you actually hate God God gets mad a lot. He really did Old Testament God for sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's my God, baby The Jewish On fire and yeah, the bitchy God kill like babies just left and right Yeah, that shit that he did to whatever the fuck Abraham or whatever made him kill his son Well, he like had to like get real close to kill his son. Yeah. Yeah, and then he was like sigh

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he's like, you know what God this like Mysterious voice in the sky that I've been talking to I will kill my son for you. Yeah, you know, yeah He shouldn't have done that. He's a bad father And that's supposed to be like an example of like what faith is. Yeah He's murdering the son that you waited for for 75 and plenty plenty of women Plenty of women in Texas have you know drowned all four of their kids and then had to go to jail for that Yeah, but they had the same exact, but you know a story God told me that God was telling them What's the difference, you know, let him free

Yeah, they are prophets Yeah, uh, if they're God doesn't promise they're hot go to jail That's what that's the God doesn't promise that you won't go to jail. That's true Abraham gets locked up at the end of that story. Yeah. Yeah, it's like damn. That's fucked up, man We're gonna sacrifice your son I watched uh Talking about when mother is killing their kids and shit. I watched, uh The season finale of sharp objects. You guys watch that

No, I've never as an inflated man. Is that something that scares you? Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to go Pop I literally when I was a child thought you could do that to fat people Is that you could pop them and they'd fly around the room That would be awesome balloons don't even there was that there was that monty python sketch about the fat guy in the restaurant And he's like miss you. Do you want dessert? And then he eats the wafer cooking and he explodes. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I used to think that was really good Um, one of those guys was gay and he fucked a bunch of guys. Yeah

Rich guy was gay the guy with the pipe the british guy. Yeah The guy uh, yeah, yeah the little guy the quiet one they told I watched the documentary and they told some story about seeing Him just fuck a guy. What's his name? Graham? I don't know something He would just go out and get Graham Norton. Graham Norton. Yeah, it's Graham. Dude. You know Graham Norton's gay You remember when the Graham Norton show came out? No, of course. He's the gayest guy of all time The Graham Norton show came out and like I didn't know who he was because I'm american. Yeah, I was on bbc america Well, it was not how many centuries it was on cw or some shit. I think so I don't remember he had that fucked up like northern irish accent too. It's like what the fuck kind of accent is that?

The clips sometimes are on uh on facebook and it's a pretty good show. Yeah, they have a lot of fun on that Yeah, it's a fun time You know russell crow apparently. Do you know the guy that played superman was from england? henry cavill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he sucked. Yeah, but he was in the new mission impossible He's the worst actor of all time He he met russell crow when he was like a little ass kid And he said I want to be a bad man Yeah, yeah, something like that and then they like met up later or like they were on the same movie and he's like

Hey, remember that kid from you fucking talk to he's like, yeah, he's like it was fucking me, dude Yeah, there's a Graham Norton effect I mean, it's cool if you had watched it. Yeah, it was nice Well, what's his name greezman from the french soccer team met zidane after they won the world cup in 98 And he said i'm gonna win the world cup and then they just won I mean, it probably has so many kids said it. I'm sure yeah, but he did that Yeah, anyways the first time I saw a Graham Norton. I didn't know Graham Norton was because you know, I'm not british or whatever Yeah, and it was like what the what the fuck is it presented him as if like you should know who Graham Norton

Like it was a big get they did the same thing with james cordon Yeah, that was weird because it was like what was it even his credit? He's like not going away. He'll never go away. He was the fattest man in in England No, he was like a musical theater. I remember that fat guy that we had pictures of the queen Oh, yeah I love that guy the unit that was the best picture of the year that guy rules the absolute you like a fridge. Yeah Oh, was that the was that the origin of absolute unit? Yeah, it was that picture That guy wasn't yeah, this lad is an absolute unit

The material that it would take to make that suit it's an unbelievable. Oh, yeah, yeah, let's look him up again So many fucking you could yeah, so many homeless families could have tents for that guy's suit. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's amazing Who is he? I don't want to know the lord of yonking shires. This is why you got to ruin shit by getting too much information Yeah, that's true. You can you just smile I thought that's how the jews ruined religion for themselves when they invented Yeah, but then they had to find out that god didn't exist and now everybody hates them. Yeah, if they just Just stayed in their lane. How did they find out by killing jesus by learning how to read?

They all had to learn how to read because Judaism requires literacy. Oh, fuck. So it's only read. Well, that's why the jews are hated is because It was like the only group of people that required literacy of all so it's all nerds Well, it's all nerds. They all went into finance or banking because That's not how and then, you know, they would adopt usury which they're allowed to engage in as long as it's towards non-jews So then they would just steal everyone's money or sorry take everyone's Wasn't some shit like it was like, uh, you know people didn't thought it was bullshit She's got the enlightenment like a hundred years after europe got it at least like eastern european jews

They like the enlightenment was like in the 1700s and then the the bulk of ashkenazi The enlightenment. What's that when that's what I call taking a shit No, you know, because I go in and like myself after dropping a fucking fat load No, yeah, a bunch of people realized there is no god before jews did no, I don't think so um No, the jews kind of always knew there wasn't god as soon as as soon as christianity was born The jews thought okay, we need another game plan. So obviously we accept that god doesn't exist We're gonna we're gonna go into banking

Which a a lot of them just hidden shuttles most of them hidden which is fine The majority of them went into banking and they controlled the world's finance. That's not true. That's not Where they met they all wanted jesus to be like some big dick guy with a sword that was going to chop off ceasars used it Yeah, right Isn't that why they don't come with isn't that what they were looking for in them? No, they just suggested they thought jesus was going to be jewish instead of christian But he showed up and it wasn't christian. There was no such thing as christian showed up and he's like i'm christian

Christian, i'm me. Yeah, i am a mean That's that's that's like you saying i'm moldy and no it's not like it's not nothing like saying that Anyways, the jews couldn't stand that that messiah turned out to be a christian This gentiles gonna tell me what to do Is there any way we can screw him over with interest rates No, they were just trying to you know, they lightly suggested to paunch's piloting But they might want to do something about it. I've heard he's been saying something

They suggested didn't he flip over like he went he Brought you to the money the money lenders I like to imagine jesus walking into the temple like a 80s movie bully like flipping over cafeteria tables Like oh, yeah, what's up fogal trying to have your lunch in here not on my watch Yeah, I think Adam's friend. I think he made a like a tremendous mess my lunch Like one individual pickled with a side of a salt packet My favorite What what's the what the fuck is gefilte fish? I feel like that was the go-to punchline for jewish food bull bullshad white fish

It's just like it's maybe it's like composite to a paste Composite of three different fishes that are kind of ground up like a hamburger and then molded into a loaf Oh, that sounds gross. So it's a fish loaf. It's it's pretty good Sounds bad. It's not bad But it was a big uh, it was a big joke in rush hour. Obviously. Maybe that's why yeah, yeah It's because I love filthy fish that movie by the way holds up What the hell in a filthy fish? Yeah, yeah, yeah That was a that was a good can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth

Do you understand the word because you all understand Great joke solid joke Speaking of of jackie chan, we will be in japan. That's right. We're going to japan. We're visiting the land of jackie dojo He grew up in I got this japanese haircut and I really think it's really embarrassing. What makes you think it's a Japanese? It's a good haircut. It was all japanese people that were at the hairdresser. Oh, is that so I've always had white trash haircuts Yeah, yeah, no, I happen to shut up

No, dude, it looks fine shut up But it looks I feel like it looks kind of super saying right now Well, I think the answer is to continue looking at yourself in the mirror and fishing for compliments to your haircut Um, yeah, we maybe look at maybe I do look in the mirror not on the podcast I focus on the job. I hate don't want anymore. No We'll be freezing man. I know anyway, so yeah guys the plan. Good luck. What's the play? Where's more money? Fully realized

No, we got to figure that out. Um, so yeah, we're thinking we're gonna we actually are gonna go to japan We're gonna go to japan before or after australia before that'll be nice little fun boystrip It's going to be like kind of us trying to save the marriage And maybe like we'll we'll have some momentum from it for a couple weeks afterwards and then we'll just slow down to The slow the pace of our normal lives and you know, whatever man. I'm eating sushi. I'm eating ramen I'm eating fucking. I'm gonna eat so much food when I'm there. Um Before we go to japan though, we will be yaki tori We'll be in cleveland on this fucking sunday. I don't know. I gotta check the numbers

But I don't we in fact, it's not without they would have said something so please buy tickets to that We are in hilarities on the second Uh in cleveland sunday sunday 420 So please buy those tickets. Uh, you find that on my website and then the next day on monday. We are in boston Uh, we're doing a live podcast at eight o'clock at laugh boss. That is sold out though So now there's a six o'clock stand-up show if you want to come see that I posted the link for the The tickets, but I'll post it again. And I also post it's also on starvy.biz sdhv

Also, there's funny mom's the next monday, which I will not be there because it is I'm the tenth. I will not be there, but nick and star. Why aren't you gonna be there? It is the jewish holiday of rosh Hashanah. Really? Are you really not gonna be there? I'm gonna go see I'm gonna go see my folks. Oh, okay. That's cute. Um, I also want to get into jewish holidays You can't they're cut. They're pretty bad for the most part. Yeah, they're not very oh san jenaro is coming up That's a better holiday. Fuck god damn. I love san jenaro um Let me plug my ditch real quick and I am in connecticut on the 7th at the fairfield comedy club friday the 7th

Please buy takes of that and then I'm in your lens on the 14th. I'm sorry on the 15th and lafayette louisiana on the 14th Uh, so please buy those mother fucking tickets and then finally chicago I am at the Lincoln Lodge on the 21st of the 22nd and then the 23rd. I'm in detroit Doing a fucking hour. That's an early show. He's driving. You driving out there. No taking the plane Um, how far is the drive to detroit? It's fucking cool. I drove. I drove me and louis and dave out there. You're doing coke though That's true That doesn't mean that I didn't drive there. You did drive. He did drive. You had some you had some help along the way Yeah, and then we're in australia in sydney the 23rd melbourne 26th brisbane

28th, so buy tickets to those motherfuckers too, and I guess there's two different shows It's going to be a podcast and a stand-up show Yeah, when they sell sell out we do we'll do a stand-up show after the live pod So if you didn't if you missed your chance to watch do the live pod come watch us do stand-up or do both We're probably never coming back to australia again for the rest of our lives. I'm gonna go once a year Damn, we need some fucking zanis for the plane, dude Yeah, we're gonna give zanis mail them to nick or adam who's both the dresses have been said on the podcast Stov's address. No

Do not say it. I can't remember because one of those weird bullshit queens dresses where they got two numbers With a dash in the middle. What the fuck are they thinking? I don't know what's going on in queens. I like queens, man I like Astoria. I'm hiding nazi's weird addresses. You know, it's so much from him and we were big man I am more mad about the addresses in queens than harboring a nazi for We're gonna nick and I have a little queen's Uh date night At the end of this month when I when I will be in chicago and stov is out of town. Oh, yeah We're gonna see paul simon. We're gonna see his final concert ever. Yeah. Yeah, neil simon died today, by the way

He died yesterday. Are they related? Uh, no, well Probably they're both part of the same global R.i.p. To neil simon r.i.p. To john mckay. That's right. Just kidding. R.i.p. Those guys that got god at the mad tournament I was pretty fucked up. Yeah, it's been a week of r.i.p. That guy was from baltimore the shooter. Yeah David kats represent dude. Are you proud? Are you proud of him? Shouts out to baltimore. Are you proud of him? All right guys. We'll we'll be back. Bye

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