The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 122 – The sopranos

Episode Date: September 27, 2018

the episode is late because im getting back into the sopranos and didn't have time to upload it before i finished the first season again today. i like the show because tony is a mental health guy like me. cum town will also cut to black at some point.

All right, we're ready to have a rip-worn racist good time. Are you gonna hit record? I already hit record Fucking imbecile You just like my new French fuck tape the muzzy for fat people Who's muzzy motherfucker? French how about it's cozy and it's muzzy and he's still French, but now he's like a black guy. That's like a Crip Okay, he's a good a Savakas

Blue You guys can't you guys kid definitely can't speak any other languages, right? Savakas I can say that bitch Sava Sava means what's up, or how it's a vibe just means like hello now I mean, I think it translates literally to like it goes. So it's like, you know, like Savabian Yeah, it's going well. Yeah, like that. Yeah, or like I was going maybe, you know, like we're gonna go to the store Sava Sava Sava, you know, yeah, so I'm up

Un Sava in my asshole Undo tois, cats, sanks, seps, we, noof, dies Yes He's all yeah alls is 11 all these you took French school. Yeah, these I did these nudes I took Spanish I took French one for three years In middle school you took French one like you took it You take the first half of French one in seventh grade the second half in eighth grade and then in

High school. They're like, well great. You can start a French too, and I was like, oh, no, no I will be skipping the line In seventh grade, I took French one and then in eighth grade I took French one B. Hell, yeah, because they had like to be like, yeah, you weren't good enough So you only have to repeat half the year Yeah, but then I just like nailed French one because I already learned all that shit. I just failed the last test Yeah I didn't have to study. It was great. Yeah, dude. That's high school was awesome. Yeah, and that's where my French class

That is where I saw 9-eleven happen. Nice. Nice. I was in gym. I was eating a baguette I was And then the teacher's like, yes We have this on it. This is what they get for changing the name of French fries like that hasn't happened yet I found out on my clock radio from the 98.5 morning zoo. Are you sure it wasn't on your sock cock radio? Oh, it wasn't on that Adam. No, it wasn't it was on my clock radio because I was on the Suck cock Pacific time zone kid. So and then I woke up my parents. I said not it today is 9-eleven guys Did you not did you not see the calendar? This is 9-eleven related, but this is a French teacher related my high school French teacher

Someone wrote graffiti on the desk that I you know how you guys remember it was different period so it wasn't just your desk and He he pulled me aside. He was like, I know I know what you did and I was like what Yeah, and he was I was he loved me I was like and he I could see the despair in his eyes. He was like on your desk. It said Mr. Aziz is faggot No, mr. Aziz

I mean damn somebody wrote I'm a faggot on his desk. Mr. Aziz Put his fingers in a woman's mouth in the claw weirdly He does the claw motion. I saw a woman's mouth. I saw it's Davros. You heard my feeling I see whole article arrived on babe I was you say Aziz She's asked for a white one, but you get her red To imply that I am Engaging rapey behavior

Whatever the fuck that means stop beating puffers on Mike you fucking dunce. Yeah, I can hear it You're wearing the head. Adam's is wearing the nobody even knew I was Yeah, I'm tactically eating cereal they say no more no more free Randy They are I was getting my dick sucked a little beat and then I tried to fuck and now everyone knows It's very embarrassing salute to mr. Aziz salute to mr. Aziz My Moroccan my Moroccan teacher I'm gonna I like I want to get real successful And then like just pick up young women and bring them back to my apartment and then lock the door and make them watch

Me use that racing wheel Just seeing how long it takes before I can get an article like that And you ruin their comedy just people don't know how to My manager How much he loves video games and didn't try and fuck you it was gonna think he's gay and weird. Say he tried to fuck you I still can't do any shows, but you're definitely better. So they're like wait Mullins with Dave Becky and he's like no This is just my thing I don't even know

What I like to do Is call people up and give them the business Yeah, which you know, it's like Dave Becky calling up women and threatening them for like trying to expose Louis CK It's probably the most a manager has ever done You know, you know in a strange way that makes you what you will the man works for his client That makes him one of the best managers. That's what makes him like the guy Makes him a fucking good manager. Yeah, it's hard to get an email. I can't get an email back Yeah, it's like I don't even have a manager if you have a man if you have a management company

And are interested in the services of stavey, baby, please message me at Suck my nuts at no just on my website It's very available stop at stave Stavey Dot biz yeah all inquiries if you want to threaten women That are trying to go public with that story and there are a lot of them No For some reason they come to me phone books like no women who have been sexually disappointed

Disgusted and are forced. No, it's always a nice time. We're always having a nice time Yeah, now maybe sure does it take a couple pumps to get my Penis all the way up to fucking. Oh you use your birthday your birthday present I tried but it's a wet pump. So what am I gonna water it up and jerk off? I'll be like what I'm like hold on the bathroom and then I come back For some people finding out stop fucks and it's it's only men for some reason women get it, but like that What's up girls? Yeah, because he's confident and right exactly Men hear that stop fuck. It's like some Brooklyn Heights like Hillary woman not understanding how

Donald Trump won the election Like oh, yeah, mr. Cheeto sure he's gonna win And then just living in fucking constant despair That's a realizing the world doesn't reflect what you thought it did yep, sorry Yeah, I'm I'm your what your girls pussy has some economic anxiety You know it does it's funny because I don't like the The de-letcherousness, right? I don't you don't like horniness. I don't like horniness, which really seeing how angry it makes people when they realize that you fuck I really enjoy that yeah, there we go because all there's is is like a subdued horniness

I can't express it right which is even worse. Absolutely. Those people should be killed Mm-hmm, and then you'll get to me. Yeah, yeah, like guys that thing. No, I'll say my bloodlust with that Yeah, nice dude. Yeah, we found it. That's honestly the biggest tension in our relationship Oh, is that you can't enjoy when I fuck but now that what are you talking about? We all we all like now Nick found out the way to enjoy it No, he doesn't like you're like you're your horniness. I don't like the horniness. Yeah, he doesn't like your performative horniness Which is which is fake which he's he's calling out for being I know I never said it was fake. I think thank you. I think it's indulgent. It is indulgent

I'm a whole I mean it's definite. Yeah, of course my whole being is not being able to not do what I want to do That's my biggest issue. I love drugs and sucking on tea and food and chocolates Yeah, and a whole and my thing is I've already done all the things that I want to do. Mm-hmm, and it brings me nothing No, you probably have some more stuff on your list. No, not really You ever learned how to code. I mean I did that yes And I did the racing wheel thing kind of as a joke, but it was like I mean I bought an eight hundred dollar racing I mean If that doesn't do it. Yeah, here we are a year later. Hmm But I'm glad it's fall man. I'm telling you. Oh, yeah, we definitely should hit a cabin

Yeah, let's do a show in like Vermont or something and then stay there for a couple that would be nice Yeah, I really would we should do it Right when we get back. So we just always be on tour in Japan. Yeah, we're perfect We're professionals. Mm-hmm partial podcasters will always be on fucking so I'm the most one of the professional people Stop because they're almost are eating puffins to do to have them I put them out there for you They are very tasty. Okay, it's cereal shout out to the puffins corporation that peanut butter flavor is fantastic Cinnamon is pretty good shoes Peanut butter is very good. So stop you just got back from the Chicago shots out to Detroit

You guys got to go do the Lincoln Lodge, bro. Yeah, it was awesome. That place fucking rocked. I Heard people were giving you mad pills. I did take a loose pill from somebody We just handed me a colon up and I'm out instead of the Lincoln log It's the blinkin log, right? And then the mascot is a dick and then It's it's winking. I like that You know, that's a little eyebrow the top of the foreskin. Maybe it's kind of monocle, but there's no other eye It's a blinking long. Does it have a beard Yeah, a little a blinkin beard a blinkin hat. It's also a blinkin. It's a blinkin. Oh, then it comes back to Lincoln. Whoa

You know nice, so then it's the blinkin, but it's spelled B. L I N C O L N Blinkin colon the blinkin hog. Yeah, and they were like, what a direction It's a double I love it. I love blinkin hog I Wait, what is this from? Lincoln log With a monocle for some reason And it's winking at you, which I don't know how we would even

Business before I Ever been to a restaurant No blinking and winking mean the same thing Blinking and winking. No blinking is what the two eyes and winking is what it stands for by winking and by winking. Yeah I'm really into etymology these days. Hey, I'm really into etymology. Yeah Damn, I had one night where I was like just there's some edamame and I was eating it I'm like, man. Oh, it's fucking edamame. It's like

It's all empty and then I realized I was just sucking amber's leftover edamame shelves. That's a sad feeling That's a sad feeling when you go for the bowl. It was pretty awful. Yeah That's really yeah, it's really gross and I went to like five of them before I realized yeah It's like drinking from a straw or a water bottle something that's been sucked on completely submerged in there Yeah No, I did that with a dick. It's like a level of intimacy. I wasn't prepared for yeah That's why I had to move out. Yeah, that makes sense. We had a mommy thing Yeah, it's a lot of fucking. I just saw Ernest this morning. I'm cat sitting right now. Are you? Yeah, did you fuck him?

He's fat dude. He's fat again. You gained weight. Yeah, and it all came back. You got biggest shit and in on tour Dude, I can't stop getting fucked up. It's awesome. I am gonna die like every fat comic man Yeah, it just feels too good. You're gonna be dead in five years. No, I'm not. I don't know what's gonna happen with the show I'm not gonna be dead. You should uh You should try to get cast as in Confederacy at Dunstice. You should try to get cast in like plaster And so that you're in my body You have to be fed to her too. Yeah, that makes you try you could just get her that kind of casting No, dude, listen, okay. I mean I'm I'm going I'm basically off the road until we go to Japan or whatever

You're not gonna be on diet in Japan Absolutely not so for a couple weeks before that I'm gonna get it together Australia, and you eat an entire kangaroo It hops what just one hop into my mouth And the truth is I truly have been abusing my body and I felt horrible for four weeks Yeah, but every time I don't feel horrible for a second I start getting fucked up and that feels awesome Yeah, so what I'm gonna do is be sober for a couple weeks Maybe start taking Adderall again to suppress my appetite. Yeah, that's a good idea

And then yeah, and then I'll be good. That's a great idea Yeah, yeah start smoking cigs and chewing gum and doing Adderall you should get really into cigarettes Yeah, and leather jacket do that You should get Spanx. No, I don't want that. It's not gonna lose weight He's just gonna show his ass more That's actually, you know, maybe I do Be funny if you got into corsets He's just got real busty real hourglass

Just like a fucking whore in the Old West That would be fucking hilarious dude Yeah, and then just my tits get because I'm not a fat man with titties I've seen some of those guys, but imagine if I could read if all my stomach went to my teeth. Yeah, yeah I said my flat stomach. Do you have like a bowling ball shape? Yeah, it's actually as for obesity. It's probably the best-case scenario. You know what? Yeah, for regular obesity You're not like a pudding shape. I know listen. I wear my I wear my fat. Well. Yeah as well as possible And I'm a cute little rascal dude. I know what the fuck is going on here. Yeah

Well, yeah, shots out to everyone in Chicago that came out to see me you Shots out. I'm sorry Come boy tried to give me drugs, but I said no I Couldn't I couldn't go pick it up or something like that I really appreciate the offer and next time I'm in town. I will what kind of drugs a couple pills Zanis clonopins I needed I was gonna I was gonna stock up for the plane ride because we got a dose for the plane ride to Japan Yeah, yeah, knock that shit out. It's gonna be a long ass. That's what I did on the way to South Africa

I did yeah, I took a half of a Xanax like that Drake song. Yeah. Yeah, it really doesn't work I'm gonna find the TV show. I've been seen and download all the episodes dude The they got a TV right on the at the seat. I had to plug my shit in I'm gonna find the TV show and watch That's what I did actually last time one Japan. I watched a term it all all the terminate Yeah, dude, I got I watched a bunch of homicide life on the street that way That's how I got into homicide. Where are you going? I forget just said like been on the road and stuff, huh? Yeah By the way, it's a great show isn't it hilarious that Drake is a pedophile seems like is that what's going on? Yeah, yeah, you miss we've spoken in your office. It's we've spoken a couple things. Yeah, that was us

Right. Yeah, if it if any penetration, although if it a better be fair. It was me in the car years prior No, it wasn't in the car that was that Eric's apartment while we were walking on If it ain't penetration ain't a legal dog That was the night where you guys know you guys slept over at Eric's apartment, right? I remember specifically because it crushed and I was proud of myself. We were by those basketball courts. Yeah Yeah in bedside. Yeah, fuck that was when I was saying it Eric's right when we moved up when I moved up So I was visiting for the weekend. I thought we were he was driving around though. He driven I was driving. Yeah, but you crashed at Eric's that night. Yeah

Yeah, he drove up. Yeah, we were in his car by those basketball courts. Yeah, that's where in open a trash and a lead very funny Yeah Before we had established this dynamic, that's yeah, we were just people happen to hang we're just friends. Yeah But the 18 year old who he's known since he was 16 she was 16 and that's borderline That's weird and then he's that's not pedophilia. That's weird But he's texting. He's uh, he's texting the girl from stranger things. Yeah, but they've been texting for a while

Yeah, but that's like I'm gonna start texting a boy from stranger Which one the lion kidless boy? Yeah, that's mine, dude. Come on. You've been grooming him. Yeah, I was like, I just have advice for I got advice. Yeah, I just care about this young man's Image that girl from stranger things does legitimately. I'm not defending Drake here, but she looks like an old woman. There we go She does so you should be able to fuck children. I'm not I'm not defending Drake. Yes, ma'am. You're saying nope. No, you're here first No, Adam Friedland. You should be able to fuck every child. That girl. No, no, that girl Bobby Brown Yes, ma'am. If you throw a gray wig on a little boy, go ahead and fuck his ass. No, that's not what I'm saying I'd be allowed to fuck like a 26 year old. It looks 14 interesting. I'm I'm not because I'm you ever plenty of those

women. I I prefaced. It's rude. I mean, I'm back in the day. They're like, wow, this girl's so hot and she looks 12 Looks like a child. No, come on. That's not true. Yeah, some 12 year old. The dress is exactly like you. Yes, that's the girl with your shirt. Yeah, a Brooklyn girl with the same haircut as he man. Like the like us open dad hat. And then like a rain. That's why I had always wearing a raincoat. Very long, very long sleeves. This place fucking sucks. Let's get out of here. Like we're outside. I don't know. Yeah, I mean life. It sucks. Let's get the fuck out of life. Well, that's kind of your your wave too, dude. What do you mean my wave? Just referring to life that way. Anyway, the point I was saying was there was no I prefer no, no, we're not going to make this we're not going to make this we're not going to make this into another me in the alleyway

thing. Are you guys twist my words to make me see a bad person alleyway thing. There was no twisting of words. No, you said 100% help out. No, I never said I would not sandals. I never said that. I never said that. Dude, take the let's check the tapes. I wouldn't fucking help it rain. Can you imagine if I said that? Oh my God. Okay, now we're back. That was Adam. Damn, I'm so glad we got that tape. I'm glad we invested in that tape machine. All I'm saying is the cassette player of truth. Yeah, a lot of people want to know why the XLR cables have been fucked up for so long. It's because we spent $20 million on the tape. The cassette player of truth. The man claimed no matter what it's made out of solid gold. I never said God damn it. Dude, if there's one thing I wouldn't do in sandals and stop it right. I never said

that. Everything else. I'll go do take acid and go to get it. Oh my God. Sandals activity. Go to the Holocaust Museum and snicker about every one of these. I think it's cool that Drake's raping that girl. I never said that. To be fair, she looks hot. I didn't say she looks hot. She looks like a sexy little baby. God damn it, guys. I'm just gonna have to fucking hear this from guys with no chins. No, man. Go ahead. What were you saying? Sorry, man. Just having a little bit of fun. I think that girl looks weird. That was just the only point. She looks kind of like an old woman. And you should be able to fuck her. No, I never said that. That's what you said. I literally didn't even bring it up, but I literally defended that the gun guy like last week. Yeah, you didn't even think about that. You're too busy thinking about yourself. What do you mean? You could you could just make this about me and you didn't even. Yeah, you defended the fucking

3D printed gun guys. It doesn't matter now. He's already pointed out preemptively before you can think of it. That's not how it works. You still said it. Checkmate. Alright, let's run the let's run the tape back on. You don't have access to back. Oh, fuck, dude, the 3D print. Oh, wow, Eric was one Adam. Damn it, dude. I was gonna. I was gonna hop in too, bro. But it was your bit. Yeah, dude, fucking. Here's me, Eric. I saw a couple weeks ago. I was like, what's new? He's like, Yeah, I'm really into mushrooms. We're like tripping on mushrooms. He's like, No, just like she showed it. Like just going picking them. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. I was gonna say she showed us, but that's not our mushroom. She says she does pepper shiitake shiitake mushrooms. I thought that was so funny when I was a kid. Yeah, I was like, what? For real? Yeah, shit take mushrooms. The guy the new quarterback. Well, I'll say it during the bed DSI promo

maybe. Speaking of which, my favorite website beat beat me off guys.com. You can the premier sports betting website. Where is the real read? Yeah, it's bet DSI. We should probably say that I already said bet DSI. But you can also and one of our fans do this for us by bet me off guys, beat me off guys.com and redirect it to bet the DSI just to help them out. You know what? Look, if you buy that and it redirects there, then like we can just say beat me off guys.com and we don't even have to say bet DSI anymore because we're technically still driving traffic. I've been talked to anyone in that company in months. I don't even know if we have a contract. We haven't gotten a check in a year. But hey, there are the premier sports betting website on the internet. They got an easy use mobile app that's

it's called the fun play win app. I think so. Is that what it's called? I don't know. I don't think so. But you go on the app store and you download the app. And this is really fucking great guys. My grandson showed me how to spend my social security check. I don't think Mullen Jr. Yeah, how to spend my social security check betting on jousting events at medieval times. The only sport I'm into is jousting. And my grandson, Ronaldo think junior because the first one was Ronaldo. So it's not my son. My grandson, Ronaldo think junior, which I honestly, I'm kind of disappointed he wasn't named after his grandfather pretty fucked up, you know, pretty fucked up of your infant son. My fucking I'm glad he died. Anyways, you can bet on you can bet on you can bet on a lot of shit. What's your fucking sports games you got that over there? Child exists. You can bet on pictures, you know, which

picture is going to win the best fucking one. Oh, yeah, you know, what's Donald Trump going to say next? Yeah, well, I got an idea. I think that was literally one of the things you could bet on. Really? Yeah, imagine being that much of a fucking dork. How many times is Trump going to tweet? Oh, I can't wait to bet money on this. That was like during the Super Bowl, right? They said how many times is he going to tweet during the Super Bowl? Yeah. Anyways, they got a lot of stuff you can bet on. They got great customer service 24 hours. You know, a lot of these companies, they may only have 24 or six. That's right. Service or 25 24. And what is 24 seven mean 247 days out of year? Yes. Yes, 247 days. Those other whatever amount of day not scheduled. That's how I say a chance. So you bet on whether or not they're going to be open. And then you find out the hard way, the very hard way. Yeah, drift. Beat me off guys.

Well, speaking of, but what are our picks? So last week, I said that the Buffalo Bills wouldn't win a game. And this year and they were 16 and a half point dogs to the Minnesota Vikings on the road. And they beat the Josh Allen, dude. And Josh Allen, church of Josh Allen, Josh Allen one. So that was count that as the Freedland blessing. Here's what I'm saying. Okay, I made the Ravens beat the Broncos outright. And I may have said not to take them because we were getting points. But this time against the Steelers bet your whole fucking house on it, man. The Ravens have never have never lost to the Steelers and they never will. But more importantly, I think I think what you were getting at Adam is that if you're really a come town fan, you will bet everything on the 49ers winning the Super Bowl this year, right? Because Jimmy Garoppolo is injured, which means they're a beat hard. Their new quarterback is a guy

named beat hard. And you know who's backing him up? A guy named Nick Mullins. Oh, yeah, Nick Mullins, Nick Mullins for the 49. Yeah, yeah. So those are our picks guys. So if this beat hard guy doesn't work out because of Jimmy Garoppolo's ACL, we're going to get Nick Mullins in there. I like that we're terrible at the actual predictions where people can make money. But then the fun ones like the Catholic Church is going to fuck a bunch of kids again. And Drake's the pedophile. I mean, don't bet on any of the things we say during the read wait until we make predictions later, and then find the way to bet on those. That's right. Look, and when you're doing it use promo code come 121 20 come 120 CUM 120 I'm gonna see if they can change that to come 41. You still get you still get 120% bonus, which means, you know, you know, we covered it last time. Yeah, you guys. Yeah, we already did this read last

time. That's how that works. Yeah. I just go listen to the other one. The commercials already playing the last time we did the show. God damn. I really you know what I was like, they tell you you get like dumber as you get older, which is true. I definitely am becoming dumber to which seems like it'd be depressing. But it's awesome. It's everything so much fun. I love being you don't give a shit about fuck. No, you know, I don't. I love yeah. So anyway, anyways, yeah, 120. And you get 120% bonus on your deposit. So you put in $200, you get $4,000. I'm like that. Anyway, they get mad at you for eating that DSI.com. We're back. All right. And we're back. We should do a whole episode. That's just one horrible read. We should do an hour long horrific read, dude. We thought about that actually try and try and try and sell that to companies is like look, we'll do an entire podcast episode. Yep. And then

you get it make sure you get the money first because you would charge him like $50,000. Yeah. And then most of it is about how if you do on Drake wants to rape an old child, a child that looks like an old woman or something. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. Anyways, we're we're back and we're back. And we're back. And we went out and went to see Paul Simon. God, I'm so jealous. Are you? I am the whole time. Oh, nevermind. Yeah, three hours, two on four. No, I would have brought my own little chair, dude. Well, yeah, there was like a there was a blanket section. It was all these like shitty as baby boomers like taking up way too much room. Like two of them to like a huge blanket was very annoying. But yeah, the show was amazing. I'm not a guy that thinks baby boomer means pedophile. Yeah. And he hears all these people identifying as baby boomers and he's a pedophile. So he's like, Oh, we can just show them child porn.

Hey, boomers, going to VFW hall with just a bunch of child. Yeah, right at the Paul Simon concert, showing everyone child porn on his phone. Yeah, baby boomer. Everybody was booming, baby booming kids. There's a lot of guys and his wife there, you know, like guys with their like wives who's recently sexually liberated 65 year old women with their just huge sagging titties like doing recently sexually like just women being like, Oh, it's amazing out here. You know, you know, like those kind of women just doing they're like really embarrassed women saying it's amazing. I honestly do not know what you mean. I'm not trying to even make fun of you. Yeah, I don't know. But I don't know that. Oh, it's weird and sighing too. It's just to start fucking at 65. Yeah, you know, that you know, have new like sexual awakenings. I'm hoping for that for my mom. I want that for my mother. But do you know any of the big I did have a genuinely good, unironically good time.

And then right after the show, we saw a 13 year old boy who clearly just had a growth spirit holding hands with his mom and we completely just napped out of it. Shout out to that kid. You guys can figure out who that kid is based on that. Simon concert grown apart. You're so good at finding people. Please find that kid. Yeah, Mayor Bill DeLazio, which by the way, that guy Ian already heard that made this. Oh, Ian from Boston. Ian from New Bedford. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Already, you're fucking shitting on me. I don't think he's upset at all. But he said he wants to come on the show. So yeah, we'll have one. Well, yeah, I already forgot. Yeah, we would go up to Massachusetts in like two weeks and do an episode. Yeah, I would love to have him on the show to go up to Massachusetts for him. No, I got there anyways. I got a place. You got a business. Yeah, I got business. Nice. What kind of business? Don't worry about it. There's plenty of shit that I know about your business

and make money on the side. Don't talk about it. People don't know about. Yeah. What was I going to say? Are we going to Japan in two weeks? It's before that. It's actually in three days. We're going to Japan tomorrow. That's where I met by in two weeks. Oh, okay. Please suck my penis. Maybe five days. I don't know. Who knows. 28th or something. Yeah, we should go up there and do do do one with Ian. Really? I was worried about people figuring out who he was and like him shit, but it doesn't seem like people are doing that. Nice. Yeah. Well, let's make sure. Yeah. Wait, did people figure out who he was or he just randomly heard it? Immediately people figured it out. Just from his first name? Yeah. Who the fuck are these people? I don't know. That is crazy. Oh, damn. Are they going to cyber bully Mr. Aziz? Damn. You say I am a fuck. This is Mr. Aziz is faggot. And I had to be like, I had to like not laugh in his face. The Blasio introduced Paul Simon and got booed. Really? People were like, fix the fucking trains.

Shouts out to young de Blasio dude. Shouts out to Dante de Blasio. How about de Blasio. What? Yeah. What's his first name? Real? Reginald Giovanni. Giovanni de Blasio would be a great fucking player's name dude. Well de Blasio is a fake name. It is? Yeah, his real name is like William, like Bill Helm or something. Yeah, it's like fucked up German. Really? Yeah. Damn. De Blasio is like a completely fake name he came up with. Well, it was like his stepdad or something, wasn't it? He didn't have a stepdad. No, he just he was reading the names on the side. That's not actually his witness protection. He's just posing as the mayor. I'm going to change my name with Giovanni de Blasio, dude. People are still engaging in like Julia Salazar, like apologia, which I don't. Dude, she's definitely mentally ill. She already won. Yeah, I know. And she won. Stop apologizing for her. She's like a liar. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. To this side, like, I can understand not wanting to not wanting to say anything prior to the election thinking it might have some fucking impact. Yeah, like she's clearly just misrepresented like a bunch of shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I just I want liars on my side too. Well, that's the point is like I would have voted for her still like because her platform I agreed with more than the guy that like took all the like was the biggest recipient of real estate. Yeah, lobby funds in like the state Senate or whatever. Hell yeah. Yeah, I would have voted for like the crazy girl liar. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I would like some terrible Democrats who want to like do. She wasn't lying about anything like substantive. It was all like just weird identity shit. But it was like, but I was from Columbia. She probably probably smashed Keith Hernandez, which is cool. He's cool. Keith Hernandez legends. Yeah. And he probably fucks good. Do you ever listen? No, if you take that like he's got a cat named Tito. No, it wasn't that she had sex with him. He called it the least. Yeah, the least like that's pretty favorable reading of the situation as far as like she's concerned than what she did was like pretend to be his wife to steal money from her bank account. That's the thought shit. But she then countersued the wife and then they settled. But the wife was also dying of cancer. It's a mess. I don't know what they that's not good optics. Brother, it's not not a good look about bop ticks. Ooh, and it's what you're looking down again. Your dicks like that. I love bop ticks. I love good bop ticks. It's glasses, but on the inside, it's just on the bottom. You know, it seems like I'm getting my dicks. That would be incredible, dude. Call up your local lens crafters. Ask them if they're bop ticks.

They say what's bop ticks. Describe it to them. Yeah, it's a kind of glasses. Yeah. Oh my God. It looks like you did your thing. That is the stupidest shit. Dude, that rules. That is the stupidest. I want to always be looking. It's like bifocals. Fuck you. It's not stupid, dude. That's the most brilliant shit I've ever heard in my life. I would be one of the Shark Tank guys. How'd it go on Shark Tank? No, I would be one of the money guys. He would pass. He would be pitching it. No, yeah, I would be one of the sharks. He'd be missing her lunch man made $18 billion on bop ticks. The bop ticks empire. Can we scam our way onto Shark Tank, dude? Do some stupid shit. To do a pitch? Yeah. The pitch bop ticks, of course, dude. The pitch. The Blinken's hog. Yeah, we got a lot of ideas. Blinken hog. Blinken hog. Bop ticks. Mark Human, Dallas Mavericks. How are you doing? I've got an idea for you. I'll be like, yo, this is funny, man. Mr. Wonderful is also my penis's name. And then we're in with him already. That's his name, right? Mr. Wonderful? Mr. Penis? Mr. Wonderful? Isn't that the that looks like Fat Mr. Penis? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Canadian guy, the bald guy. He's gay, right? He's gay.

No, my name is also my penis's name is Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful, Kevin, whatever. Wait, Mr. Clean? No, the guy from Shark Tank. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary, the one that looks Jewish but isn't. He's O'Leary. He's Irish. Yeah, clearly. Yeah, what I was going to say is I will endear myself to him. By being like, this is crazy, my penis's name. Wait, stop. Did you say he's gay? He seems gay. Did you allege he's gay? I did. I think that should just be our stance as the show. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm saying I think he is because he acts gay. He's like bitchy. He's bitchy. How about you go on Shark Tank? Your business is never going to work. You go on Shark Tank. You go on Shark Tank. Yeah, good idea, sis. You go on Shark Tank and your business idea is a gaydar and you just pointed at him. He's like, what the fuck? And then, like, you know, Mark Cuban will be like, I don't know if I want to buy this. And you pointed at him and was like, maybe I do, maybe I do. They did that on the Sasha Baron Cohen with pedophiles with Roy Moore. That was so fucking funny. They had a pedophile. It was like a pedophile. And then he was like, I'm sorry, this must be malfunctioning. Every time Roy Moore would just be partitioning. He's like, oh, you're wearing somebody else's jacket? He's like, have you had your jacket all day? It was really funny. That's funny.

Suck my fucking penis. Damn, is that an airport from the above? Yeah, that's fucking crazy. Looks cool. Yeah, fuck the Detroit Airport, by the way. Aerial photography. Detroit Airport, I thought is kind of nice. I was there a couple months ago. It must have been crazy to be like a bombardier in like World War Two. I mean, even now it was fucked up because you were like the Apache shit where you just kill people in infrared. But to like drop bombs on a city, you're like, damn, this sucks. My bad. Just killing so many people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that Paul Tibbets as long as they were crowds. What's that guy's name, right? Yeah. Yeah, your guy. What's that guy's name? Paul Tibbets? No, but I didn't know his name. That's that. I'm sorry. It's a terrible tick. Paul Tibbets is the guy that flew the Enola Gay who dropped the bomb and never apologized for it. He's like glad to this day that he did it. He used to do reenactments of him. Fly the plane and wave to people and he's like, and that's how I killed the Japs. Yeah, he loved that shit. That's awesome, dude. You know what? Respect to him. Respect to him believing in himself. To the Japanese culture. Yeah. Oh, that's true. You know what? No respect. No respect to him. I changed my name. I had the idea. Fuck Paul Tibbets. We're pro-Jap. Suck this. Suck my tidbits, Paul Tibbets. That's what I say. And we're pro-Jap. The Japonois. The Japonais. It's Nipponese in French. That's what they call it. Really? Nippon. Yeah. Well, that's what it's called in Japanese. That's what it's like.

Nippon is called Japan. Really? Yeah, they call it. I thought it was Nippon. Fuck. What's wrong, dude? This thing came unplugged. It's fine. Is it still recording? It's still going. Dude, you're being rough, dude. Well, I mean, I'm trying to make sure this shit doesn't fucking turn off while we're doing the show. That's true. A warning. Anyways, macweldon.com. You've heard about them. You've warned them. If you haven't warned them, take off the underwear you're wearing right now. Throw them out and go to macweldon.com. One of the greatest underwear companies in the entire world. They searched far and wide to the dark jungles of Africa. The heart of darkness. The dark country of Africa. The dark continent. The dark jungles of Brazil. All of the dark, every dark... Also in Nippon. Every dark ass place in the world they've gone to to source the most premium ass fabrics. Dark. Another place, and also other places. Some of the most junglest ass places you've ever been. To find the most smart designs in premium fabrics and simple shopping. Their website comes straight from the Papua New Guinean tribe of the Dudu Pichu people. None of them stand over five feet tall. They're a warrior clan that believes a man's child's penis must be ripped off by a toucan before you can progress into adulthood. They went even to those guys. So these guys they live in constant pain because their dick has been ripped off by a colorful bird without medicine. So they know the importance of good underwear.

And they can't procreate so they have to continuously steal people from other tribes to join their tribe. None of these people have families. They've all been kidnapped. They've been kidnapped by Irish nuns. And you know why they stick around? How good that fucking underwear feels on that nub, ripped off nub compadre. Oh, if your cock is Macworld and underwear is amazing. Irish orphan life. Living in a jungle knowing your dicks about to get ripped off by a toucan. Angela's ashes. The only thing you have to look forward to is Macworld and underwear. That is the only reason you don't put a sharp and stick a bamboo in your mouth and then jump face first off a short branch. The only way to quote unquote blow your brains out in the dark jungles of the world.

And I know you're thinking those guys fucked up toucan pit and dicks might smell bad. But guess what? Macworld and underwear is naturally antimicrobial. What's that mean? Oh, it means they got them special fabrics that suck off all the odor and make you smell good and you're fresh as hell. You won't smell like that dark ass jungle anymore, that's for sure. And that's their silver line of shirts and underwear. That's right. But they got a lot of stuff. Crew necks, tank tops, socks, underwear of the feet. As they're known to be called. I think they have a duffel bag.

That's good shit. They did at one point. Anyways, go to macworld.com and use promo code COMTOWN, C-U-M-T-O-W-N to receive either 20 or 25% off your order. That email is so far buried in there and we've been doing the same read for a year and a half. We'll say to be safe, we'll say 20%, but the underwear is great. And if you don't fucking like it, complain. Call them up and say, hey, I thought the toucan came with the underwear. I'm trying to get my shit ripped off.

They'll refund you, no questions asked, you can keep the underwear. They might ask, I don't know, they might ask you what your name is. Yeah, what your credit card information was that you bought the underwear with. I can't even smell that because I'm wearing anti-microbial underwear. Yes, they have a guarantee that your farts will be odorless. I would love to work in one of those places where it's like, if you don't receive a smile, your meal is free. And then the person behind the counter is like some minimum wage employee. And then get hired and make a point of not smiling and just put them out of business.

Day one. Yeah. They're like, fuck you. Fuck my dick, bitch. I always think it's very difficult. Nah, they say your father's Boston Mark, your motherfucker. Fuck you. I always think it's pretty convenient how they make people conservice, sing for people.

What, a cold stone creamery? Yeah, and they're like Applebee's or whatever. They don't sing for you in Applebee. Yeah, happy birthday and shit. Oh, yeah. It's like my little pimp. I forgot about the birthday shit. But they can't sing happy birthday because it's licensed by two old bitches.

Yeah, they gotta do that. I would love some fucking mom to come up to somebody at a restaurant and be like, it's my son's birthday. And then it would be like, okay. Yeah. Oh, congrats. Yeah. Who gives a shit? Can I have the tip now?

Yeah, tip me now. I'm about to leave. I don't feel like finishing your food. I'm just gonna bring my tip. I'm going home. Your shit's probably gonna be like around 60 bucks. So I don't know. Give me like 15 cash.

Dude, can you get off the tip now? I'll be your waiter. And if you can tip me right now, I might really appreciate this guy as well. I'm trying to get out of here. Dude, the only thing I'm waiting on is your tip. I'm gonna bring your tip up front thing here at Outback. Bring your upside downville because it's like Australia where everything's the opposite. So you got to tip me up.

I can't wait for everything to be the opposite in Australia on our tour. Listen, bitch, I like to refer to you as an entrepreneur. Okay. So I'm trying to see tips. Cash on the fucking barrel. You want that food? Hot. 20 bucks at least.

Up top, bitch. Right up front. I need to know how to treat you. For whatever reason, I'm wearing a thong. Yeah, you're whale tailing. Yeah. Yeah. Put it right in that crack.

Yeah, I'm a good waiter. You see your ass a little bit? Oh, fuck. That would be nice, man. Yeah, I would love that kind of dining experience. It's like Dick's last resort, but it's like whatever restaurants theme is like irony. We should do an irony restaurant pop up. That'd be cool.

Here come your French fries. Psych, bitch. Psych. They're like, okay, but when are the French fries coming like just now? Psych. Then you bring the French fries at the end of the meal. Like, I don't get it. Nobody really gets irony.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, you want a hot meal? It's cold. Yeah. Bitch. Psych. Excuse me. You spelled the n-word with my French fries?

Psych. Just saying the n-word and then psych. It's a regular restaurant with pretty good food. It's a way for you to be racist. Just serve good chicken parms. It's a macaroni grill. I'm doing a little irony restaurant pop up. I got a job at Carabas.

I say the n-word while I'm on the clock. It's a pilot program. Hold on. It's a theme. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Yeah. That'd be great.

Oh, baby. I like K-6. Oh, baby. I like K-6. Does Joe's Crab Chacks suck? I used to do it. I used to do it. I used to do it.

I used to do it. I used to do it. I used to do it. Joe's Crab Chacks suck. I used to open first in my town when I was like 10. I used to think it was really nice and good. What is it? Just like a competitor red lobster?

It's like more sit down and more fun. Yeah. They got a little hippie bullshit in there. Yeah. Yeah. They wear like tie-dye shirts. Oh, really? Yeah.

I think that was the first place I ever had popcorn shrimp. I don't trust tie-dye. You don't trust tie-dye in general? No, in general. Why? Because it is like a boomer thing. No, no. But it's back.

Tie-dye is back in a big way. Yeah. Kanye is into it now. Maybe I shouldn't trust you. You shouldn't. I don't have tie-dye. I hate to say this, but I like tie-dye also. I like tie-dye too.

I shouldn't trust anybody. Sorry, man. I think like a cool, like a grateful dead tee. Too many colors, man. Too many colors? If you go one, maybe two colors max. Do you ever like the dead? No, never.

What about the American flag? What time was that? I was doing... That's more than two colors. I was doing mushrooms. What about the American flag? That's more than two colors. Yeah.

I don't like the American flag. Whoa. What? You're not a patriot, bro? No. I think the American flag is the hell of a flag. It's the most beautiful site of all time. I think the anthem sucks, but I think the flag rocks.

I got fart on that shit. One time I was doing mushrooms with a Jamel, and he was telling me he was like in third grade. There was a kid in his class who was just like a fucking dead. He was just like wear grateful dead shit every single day. Like go on tour with his parents, but it was like, you know, he'd do devil sticks and shit. But for some reason, because I was tripping, I thought that was like the funniest thing I'd ever heard. That's really funny.

It'd be a little ass kid that loves the grateful dead. But that just means your parents are fucking losers that force you to like everything they like. Yeah, they like fucking in front of you. Your mom's pussy smells extra bad as opposed to all of our moms. Well, my mom's pussy smells great, dude. Yeah, his mom's pussy smells pretty good. His mom's pussy does smell good.

See, thank you. Venetia. Thank you guys. I'm paying her a compliment. Don't say your name when you talk about a pussy, man. You've said it. Oh, Adam, I fucked you, dude. Yeah, I fucked you, dude.

This episode is also brought to you by Barbara's Puffins Peanut Butter Cereal. Yeah, we said that earlier. This is, I'm eating on the mic the whole fucking time. Yeah, they're gonna like that. She at least explained to you how good this cereal is. It is really good. Yeah, I got mad at shit. I literally, I cannot stop.

Yeah. Yeah, I went to a health food store once thinking that I'd have puffins because you can't really get them everywhere else and they did not have the peanut butter ones and I fucking, I threw a fit. Peanut butter, I feel like is there like that's their marquee brand. Yeah, it's the rarest one. It's not rare. I feel like it definitely is. No, I feel like peanut butter is their flagship.

No, it's Charizard, dude. No, I feel like it's like their, you know, whatever. It's not. It's their Ford Focus. They have regular puffins. They're flipping the most ERizard. Can you spell it out? Yeah, that's probably not okay.

No, no, it's not. You can't. But you don't really say it. You don't say it. You don't say it in the same way. It wouldn't work as the word. It has to be spelled out. So I think maybe it is better.

It's better, but it's not good. If you were to spell it, it would be E-N-A-Y-E-G-I-G-I-E. We don't have to do the math on this one. I don't even get what you're doing. Because it's not the N-word is hard. The N-word is hard. It sounds funny, though. But yes, I see where you're getting at.

What I think is it's better than saying the N-word, but not good. That's where I'll land on it. I think it's good. I think it's good to say these things. Oh, Adam, I love gay sex. Do you guys like my raspy, sexy voice? Do I sound like Scarlett Johansson? This is just off the plane.

You don't smoke. This is just from, like, what, eating chocolates? I smoked a lot of weed. I smoked a bunch of spliffs that were sort of tobacco in and weed. But also just from being sick, I think. That's the thing I miss most about drinking is you wake up in the morning and you just sound like Nick Nolte every day. Yeah, dude, I was getting fucked up.

God damn it, I don't fucking... I got time for this not-spell-in-the-end-word-out-motion. Ah, hell, just let me do the show the way I fucking want. Uh, young Nolte. Why do people confuse him and Busey? Because they both had iconic milk shots. No, I don't know what it is. I think it's because reality is a giant simulation

and there's certain, like, overlaps and programming. Yeah, it was like what we were talking about with basic instinct. Yeah, like that. Or how people confuse Helen Keller and Anne Frank. They're completely unrelated. There's some weird shit in your brain that does that shit. I don't think that's what's going on with Nolte and Busey. I think Busey looks like fucking Rosaro and Nick Nolte.

No, they look nothing alike. They don't look that similar. But they both had, like, very iconic mug shots where they both looked like shit. I think Busey looks like fucked up Nolte. That's what I say. Busey's got, like, a big-ass mouth and shit. He used to be sexy as shit, too, didn't he? Nick Nolte?

He used to be a stud. Yeah, and, like, Prince of Tides? Yeah. You know what I was thinking about the other day? It's like, you know, because everybody has unique fingerprints. But everyone probably also has unique asshole creases. So true. And, like, what if in the 1800s that guy who came up with fingerprints was like,

gentlemen, I present to you a new method of identifying criminals. We use the silver nitrate photograph to take a picture of every man's anus. Smear ink or just use their own fecal manner to press onto a transition plate and then we'll create a database of all the assholes. You know, we could have lived in that one. What if, brother? What if? That's what that showed.

They're like, OK, but what's your idea for Shark Tank? Oh, my gosh. Imagine if that guy did that. That's my idea. That's a fucking funny thing. But how is that a business? It's like, I don't know what you're talking about. Do you want it?

Best or not, motherfucker? I thought I just said an idea and then you'd give me money for it. Offers off the table. You take it off the table. Offers off the table. Yeah, I'm sorry. I think we're going to go. You're out.

You're out. I'm not taking it from you. The other three, anybody else want to get fucking, want to run their fucking mouths? Oh, yeah, I should have mentioned before. This isn't an idea for gay guys, so. Yeah, sorry, Mr. Wonderful. You're out, bitch. If you're not a gay guy, maybe you'll want to admit it.

That little guy, Kevin, or whatever the fuck's like, I'm not gay. Who, Kevin Hart? No, no. Isn't there a guy named Kevin? I don't think so. Who's that little elf looking guy? Who are you talking about? On Shark Tank.

On Shark Tank. Yeah, with Kevin O'Leary, Mr. Wonderful. No, okay. Who's the other guy? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's like some Eastern European type of. Is he? He's in the, he's always, they're always like, he made millions in the technology industry.

It's always very like. How about Mark Tank? And it's just Mark Wahlberg. And you bring him the idea and he's like, that's great. And then he just takes your idea and turns it into a business. That is probably what he did. He just steals your business. That's good.

Yeah, you're watching Mark Tank. A show where people come on and then I take their ideas and me and Donny turn it into a business. Mr. Wahlberg started. Oh, shit. Yeah. It was originally Jamal Burgers. Yeah.

A guy named Jamal was like, I gotta play. I got a pun. The Taj Mahal Burgers. Taj Mahal Burgers also. The Taj Mahal and it's Mark Wahlberg themed casino. Mark Wahlberg and Taj Mahal theme casino. It's Mark Wahlberg. Picture him with like fucking.

Him stopping 9 11. Yeah. Take that. You fucking sultans. Picture him with us. What's the shit? A turban. Yeah.

You got it. Thanks, man. I was going to say scarf wrapped around this head when I was really sure. I'll be honest, man. Turbans, especially the ones with the jewel and feather. It seems like a good idea. They look cool. I would love to wear it.

I'm mad. We didn't come up with that. Yeah. Are people still dressing that way? Sultan style. Yeah. That's not like that's not out of that. They're still doing that for the summer.

That's in bad pants. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It's flowing. It's flowing. Yeah. Yeah, that would be a good. I would look like a great person.

I would look like a great soul. They have like like shirts that look like regular button button up shirts, but they just go to the knees. Yeah. And then sin bad pants and then the feather jewel thing. That is a good look. Well, especially the long shirt Indian guys wear that. And so you can get fat as shit and not have to tuck your shirt in.

I love that. It's a good idea. I'm in on that. Yeah. You should get that. My wife says to me, why do why read them? Why haven't you talked to her shirt? It is because it is too long.

She has mad at me, but I have a better way to have you shirt is just longer. Have you been given any thoughts like your look in in Tokyo? No. Probably the usual come on pants. I'm going to all black patent leather for me. Yeah. Same jeans. We got it.

I mean, like it's like kind of the it's like the fashion not brushing my teeth the entire time. That's probably a look I'll go for. I don't know. I think that we got a look. I love that. When I go to a hotel, I'm like, can I get a toothbrush? You're like, we actually don't have any.

I'm like, oh, damn shucks. Yeah. I guess I just won't brush my teeth for three days. Jokes on me. I guess I honestly brush my teeth more regularly on the road. Yeah, because you get those free to brand a brand new toothbrush. It feels good. Yeah.

And you know that it's like sliding a brand new condom on your dick. You know what I mean? Nothing feels as good as that. You reuse condoms. Of course. Of course, man. What are you wasting latex? It's green.

Yeah. Everyone's talking about all these strong. I prefer to find the condoms that are on the sidewalk because it's like, you know, those ones work. Exactly. Yeah. Somebody already is. Yeah.

You know, that's a good one. The new one, it's like this thing could break. Absolutely. Well, everyone's talking about how straws are bad for sea turtles, but con latex is even worse. Yeah. Is that why people are mad at straws because they hurt turtles? I think so.

Man, fuck turtles, dude. I did drink out of a paper straw and I got to say that shit sucked my dick. They suck, dude. It's horrible. Yeah. Why the fuck? Who gives a shit about turtles? They just integrate by the end of the drink.

What happens? It gets stuck in their nose or something? Oh, I think it's just like the like straws are used once and then thrown out and then they go straight to landfill. They just go in your fucking house, bitch. So true. They say they have a shell. Yeah.

If you can't, if your shell can't protect you from straws, I mean, yeah, you, you're involved wrong. I'm serious. That's the whole point of the shell. I don't think it's turtle. Is it turtles? I don't fucking know, man. They were saying that, wasn't it the six pack like the plastic rings for six packs?

You have to cut them because yeah, we get stuck on a dolphin. Dolphins. Yeah. It's like they're supposed to be as smart as we are. Yeah. They suck each other's cocks. You think they know. They have gay sex.

You think they would know how to avoid. Oh, you know, maybe that's probably what it is. They keep trying to fuck those things. Yeah. They're little cocks. They're very horny. They get stuck on their cocks. If you're a dolphin's dick, your nose gets stuck while sucking its dick.

Okay. That makes sense. They fuck each other's blow holes, dude. They're horny ass animals. Does that feel like getting your blow hole fucked? They do it for pleasure. The only the dolphin fucking feels good though, right? The dolphin getting fucked.

It's blow. Well, I think it's about kind of submitting power to the other dolphin. So it feels good. Yeah. I think it feels good to be a bottom. I think you can bottom from the top. I think you keep talking about that. And I think that's more just kind of like bottoming from the top.

Kind of like your thing, man. Yeah, of course, dude. But I learned it from the dolphin. I'm so mad about these turtles. Why are you mad? Because like I thought I thought there was a better reason for we can't have straws anymore than fucking turtles are hurt. I don't think it's just.

No, I think that it's I think that it's that you use a straw once and then it just goes into a landfill and doesn't disintegrate for thousands of years or whatever. So there's a lot. So there's a lot of shit. Yeah, they tried to cut. They're trying to cut out styrofoam. Landfills aren't a fucking problem. You know how many places should be landfills?

Philly. Yeah, there's one. What? Take that. Take that good comedy theater. Israel. Let's turn Israel. That's two.

All right. We got to go to the show guys. Oh, do we? Yeah. Time is it. We got to go to funny moms. What time is it? Seven or something.

Oh, shit. I forgot. I got to pick up laundry. Well, do it tomorrow. Do you have time? It's 7.15. We got to go. Okay.

It shows at nine o'clock. It's not. It's at eight, dude. We do it at the same time every week. It's been at eight for like six months. How the fuck do you not know what time our show is? All right, everyone. Come to funny moms on the eighth, October 8th.

It's our last one until November until yeah. I will also be at the stress factory on the third for Bonnie McFarlane show. She started a show there. So come out to that in New Brunswick in New Brunswick. I forgot how far it was when I agreed, but it is far. So I'm doing it anyway. And she also thought that far, dude. How far is it?

It's like midway between here and Philly. It's like two hours. Isn't it? Is it less than that? No, it's less than that. The stress factory. Yeah. No, it's maybe an hour and something.

I mean, I've been there. I could just tell you. Please tell me. No, Adam wants to discuss where he thinks it is. Rutgers University. If I drive, how long will it take me? Just take the train, dude. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just take New Jersey transit out there. Okay. Maybe I will. And then the train lets you off like really close to the comedy club. Okay.

Sweet. Yeah. And then if you are in Australia, please come see us in Sydney on the 23rd, Melbourne on the 26th, Brisbane on the 28th. And then we have some southern dates, but we don't know when they are. Yeah. Sorry. We forgot to look there.

National, I think is the November 11th. 11th, really? Yeah. I think. That's pretty soon after Japan. Yeah. We get back on the road immediately after. We have a week off.

So anyway. Yeah. Fuck you. Suck my fucking dick. You piece of shit. Bye. Okay.