The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 124 – D’Jia Jones

Episode Date: October 11, 2018

good afternoon you've reached the desk of D'Jia Nasdaq-Jones I'm not available right now please leave a message

And we're off we're fucking having sex Wednesday, what is it October 10? Wednesday October 69th is gay sex cool three experts way in yeah I believe that it's I don't know whether you guys cool, but it certainly feels good Four out of five dentists agree getting fucked in your ass feels great Damn, I do want to ask dentists what they think about getting fucked in the ass Yeah, who's the the trident if who's the fit dentists? It's like Trident suck my fucking cock. That's probably a cool dentist. Yeah, he's like he does he'll never sell out

I'm not I'm a I'm a soul dentist. Here's a lot to big gum. Well, he recommends brushing your teeth with his cum Yeah, that's why he doesn't recommend trying. Well, maybe it's not so cool Yeah, remember that dentist that just like snuck come into women's mouths No, he shot like a he was like all right. That's one of the McDonald's characters Hamburg was brother Burglars brother just grimace the bird bitch Hamburglar and the cum dentists I don't know the 70s man was a different time and they came up with those

With those characters. Who are the McDonald's care? Let me see if there's some I'm forgetting. I know there's like two Nuggets. Yes, there's a little nuggets. There are yeah for sure Ronald, of course more for knuggets I think there's like a your contribution is Ronald You didn't say it. I think there's like some kind of captain or something some kind of nautical guy It kind of looks like yeah, you're right dude. You got stops got this. Of course. He's got it Obscure Character that I've never before seen in my life. He literally knows No, well, which one of you motherfuckers knew about the little captain guy from McDonald's bitch

Like probably you felt during the movies game that we're playing. Yep. Yeah, we should do that Ambrose Burnside looking Scientist I guess he's a minor. I don't remember. No hold on dude. I'm doing this I got like a girl right fucking third grade grade game where I'm not allowed to look at pictures you're looking at videos Well, I'm sorry. Have you not been to third grade? Yeah, I didn't mean to offend you by having been to third grade. I didn't realize you were too stupid to go to third grade Whoa, and you're you get your feelings hurt whenever third grade stuff comes up. No, well, whenever we revert back to it

Oh, we're as revered and now I'm reverting, huh? Oh, you revert brother. Yeah, you care as to Levert revert That's not to the book. That's a little LVA reference pipe cast coming back in the next six months Sunday, well, that's all the work for us. Well, it'll come back. I guess well McDonald has a dog. There's a dog. Isn't there like a sexy girl, too? Let's see. Uh-huh. Yeah. There's the chicken bitch. No. Isn't it like a real woman? Yeah, L. McPherson Kathy Ireland I mean, I would have sex with whatever woman is inside that chicken costume. Yep. I was wearing it

That'll be hot dude. Can you imagine? She's like, I gotta be back at work in 15 minutes. You're like, oh, trust me I will be done. Oh, that will not be an issue, baby girl. You will be you'll be clocked in 17 minutes early My dick travels back in time. It's so small PSI already came As soon as you said chicken bitch The nuts were flowing the quantum lead every time I come my dick is so little it does a rips the time I would love a space time continuum That would be cool. And then people have to fuck you for the good of the world. Yeah, you know Oh, there's you like he hates tix. He's in conflict with the Hamburglar

Mostly in visitors from outer space, which is the xenophobic McDonald's movie Mm-hmm when immigrants come and they try to change the language you order. Yeah They try and serve tacos right and Hamburglar and grimace have to team up so they get some tiki torches and Drive the McDonald's Challenger I don't know if grimaces on the tiki torch team. Yeah, yes, I think grimaces an African-American male Yeah, grimaces definitely a fat black guy. Yeah, that's I Would I just do that bit about how they put lips on them for black history month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good bit Thanks, man

Grimaces a large purple character Used to be evil What oh, yeah, he was the original hamburger. He is a check checkered past Hamburger, he would he would he was he was the guy that stole hamburgers before they invented the hamburger. Mm-hmm Oh, the they red condom so appeals. He also used to have four arms. Whoa. I don't remember that. Yeah That's some wild war like Commercials and merchandise generally portray grimaces a well-meaning Simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald so I guess stop you're like grimace, and I'm like Ronald

Mm-hmm, and Adam of course is Oh, okay, I thought you're gonna call me the thieving Jew What about the turd burglar? Yeah, that's Adam. That's he'll shit. Yeah Somebody's reached into my ass and stolen all my turds God damn it Turd burglar wasn't that a anti like a homophobic term. Yeah, I think so Or am I just making that up? No, I'm a turd burglar before I think so, too right ass ass Clown but pirate but pirate is really good, but pirate should make a full come back

That's a great one. Well, I think I've said grimace grimace An unnamed dad a grandma named the winky a great great grandma named Jenny grimace And might have a brother named King gonga who is the king of all grimaces I want to be a screenwriter for McDonald's only McDonald's is in-house Hell yeah, right or that story in yeah. Yeah, they just writes all of their fucking weird movies. Yeah, that'd be great There's the Bible came up with King gonga. I mean if grimace wasn't racist enough We've got King gonga. He's the king of all grimaces. Mm-hmm. Well, yeah in Grimace land before the hamburgler stole them and sold them into slavery

They were kings. They were kings in gonga. I like about the hamburgler is he gets out of prison, right? He escapes continues wearing the prison clothes, but puts a cape on that's right Yeah, true You can never forget that time Well, maybe that's to cover up his ass because maybe someone ripped the prison thing Pants to fuck oh, it's right here. It's often stated that hamburgler was sexually assaulted in prison. Oh Really Often stated no shut up that you made that's a joke, right? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I mean who knows me who knows what he's I know it's not true, but who knows what you think we're spoken gibberish, which was often translated by captain crook

I guess captain crook is the pirate you were talking about. That's right Wow, do you think that's a common response to? molestation is to drive your brain into Like being a simpleton so you can sort of forget. Are you accusing me of being molested? No, I think grimace maybe was could have been a genius and then he he got raped He got raped in prison then you decide to buy on buy about the rest of his days as a simpleton It's great grandma Mimi or whatever the fuck King Kong. No, that's his brother you idiot. Oh, sorry

He's got a grandmother and a great grandmother Damn, that's a that's a full family tree. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the fry kids That's right Mayor McCheese. Oh, yeah, Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971 to 2008 They got rid of Mayor McCheese. He has a burger for a head and sports a top hat diplomat sash and a pair of pinching as spectacles Mm-hmm to 2008 it was Obama's first thing in office. Yeah, he proclaimed that Mayor McCheese Yeah, grimace won the election. Yeah, and then they found out that grimace was actually born in grimace, Kenya

Yeah, where's your Berg certificate that was like a 70s thing right like all Companies had like cartoon gangs and like TV shows and stuff officer Big Mac. I guess I had a cop Mmm, I don't remember him. He was similar to Mayor McCheese And then he had a large Big Mac for a head except he was the chief of police and as such he wore a constable uniform with a Disproportionately small Custody and helmet resting atop of his head bun. I like that move look big head small hat Did they also have like the the ma the burger

Master general You know and it's like the post master general. Yeah, that's cool every They have the burger cop troller The burglar men what the fuck is an alderman. I have no idea. I just remember in that Chris rocker is rock movie. He was an all right head of state. Yep. Yeah, great flick. I Love I love professor. We really were bad bearded scientist type character. There was a scientist. I told you I saw a guy getting literally blown during head of state. Yeah, which in the theater. Yeah, have you guys ever gotten? pun

head Like maybe at head of state. Yeah, something called Yeah, I put on maybe underdome every night. Maybe you're spinning a top while you're getting top Yeah, you know, maybe you're wearing a top hat. Yeah, or maybe you're just wearing a hat because that's another way to say Getting head is saying getting some cap Although now capping is bragging language evolves so beautifully Don't you agree Nick? Yeah, sorry. I'm now reading about Uncle Ogrimacy

That's his story. Yeah, that's how you go after the blacks in the Irish at the same time He's kind of like the Cedric the entertainer. Oh, Grimacy is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace Variant of the Grimace design that he is green instead of purple sports a frock coat Covered with several four-leaf clovers and carries a shalele. Wow design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun Ogrimacy resides in his home country for 11 months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March bringing a shamrock shakes incredibly delicious shake Stop you called that you had that one. I had it unlocked brother. Yeah

Buddies a couple of chicken McNuggets that but fuck each other Mm-hmm. This is a flute passed down from a great-great father. Yeah, I wrote this is cool cosmic temporary character for McDonald and cosmic was an alien who wore large space suit and he talked like a surfer dude. Hell, yeah Was McDonald and a place did they have a theme park? No, this is where they live. Oh Trash cans talking twin trash cans I Jesus Christ, yeah, you have to deposit garbage into them to feed them. Nice. What about your own shit? Yeah There's one of the characters of McDonald's is the giant shit you take after eating McDonald's

Ball on the road. Yeah, I am hungry a short-lived McDonald character to self-proclaimed vice president of snacking. Mmm I Want that job with a gridler. Oh, yeah, he uses slurs Mike of the microphone. He was a one-time character created for Kid Rhino albums Ronald makes it magic and Ronald McDonald presents Kid Rhino, I don't know early hip-hop did Rhino When you click on it just goes to Rhino entertainment company. Interesting. What's that? It's a it was a Novelty music label. Oh, yeah, Rhino. Yeah. Yeah

What else they do they did like compilation albums, you know Simon sell on TV You know Simon Cowell did like Macho Man's album The Macho Man Randy Savage and maybe even rapping Rodney. Oh, he used to do He was in the business. Yeah, he was in the rap. Yeah albums. Mm-hmm. Fuck him, dude. Who fuck Simon Cowell Yeah, he's like, you know, what's he making people feel bad about how good they sing? Well, they say background is fucking Rodney danger. No, he doesn't know what he's talking about I think he's a fucking savant. He's grimaces big fat ass meeting his stupid Irish uncle Oh grimacee, yeah, uncle. Oh grimacee

Folks, yes, this this episode might not be as good because Adam took my spot on the couch I don't have to sit on the floor every time. He's thrown off. He's thrown off the equilibrium You don't have to get the fucking trundle bed in the hotel room. I Had I was injured man. I couldn't I know take the trundle bed. It was bad for my circulation And I already could have held how it was a PR nightmare if anyone found out You didn't want it It would look bad The bed of nails that I had to sleep on in Cleveland. It looked nice honestly, it was not nice

It looks really plush. I got so stoned that first night off those edibles and I was just laying Yeah, that was not able to go to sleep because I was prohibitively hot. What that's the best time to go to sleep Sometimes I get too high and can't go to sleep So did you guys see that fucking the Saudis chopped up some Turkish guy the journalist. Yeah, yeah They they got him in America It like the fucking consulate they fucked his ass up in the Saudi consulate Trump Trump They saw his ass up and just took him out. They had a bone saw Dismember this motherfucker and just like carried in the US Embassy

I think I thought in the Saudi consulate the Saudi consulate Saudi consulate here. I think so DC. I think so That's badass. That's awesome. Remember when that it is pretty big dick it if they did it But it's also scary like air to one's guys had beat the shit out of people like in front of that Yeah, I remember that last year street brawl. Yeah, that was all really what they do Yeah, it was a bunch of guys in suits just beating the fuck out of protesters. Yeah, we're like protesting outside of Like this is America Damn and they're just getting away with murdering some journalists who wanted to like do a pro-democracy Some shit or something. Yeah, that's that's how it should be reported

Trying to do away with some journalists is trying to do a pro-democracy some shit or something That's basically it man. We don't need all these fucking words muddying up what happened What did you say about a style little districts Which is what it is man, they fuck up the little district so you can fucking vote Republican or whatever it's not little Sometimes they make them really big Doesn't sound smarter than Jerry Mandarin. Yeah, yeah, I mean there's a retarded word. It sounds like Australians name Oh, it definitely does speaking which it's too late to do it, but we wanted to sell shirts

It's got a little kangaroo and he's got his hip, you know pushed out to the side and it says okay, man Hey, my guy guy. If you're if you're an Australian come boy, and you have a screen printing operation If you want to make those shirts bring them to the show. Yeah, we'll pay you will pay you and then we'll sell them Oh, will we price Nick will pay? No, oh you you already figured out sales tax in another fucking country and evidence Oh, we won't do it wink wink. You signed us up for that already Adam listen, and then I'll take care of it Huh, we won't do that Don't make those shirts don't make the shirts Sorry because it's friendly friendly because if you did make them we'd have to pay taxes

But if you don't make them, thank you, we'll never have to pay taxes I was really do all the work and then we'll sell them For money for us, but no, no don't do that. Yeah, nah, no, we'll get paid in in Tickets that we sell mm-hmm. We sell a little or a little like fake To bloons, what if we charge for our time? Yeah, pay taxes for that Sure damn You don't have to pay that. What if I guess there is sales tax, but we do have like a

Visa, right? I don't know. I hope we do visa. I think you did like the visa has to say specifically what you're allowed to do Oh, we're allowed to perform. Can you suck dick? Yeah Imagine getting kicked out of Australia I love it Dude, I so I've looked into I was blue too much Kicked out of every country for second day I've sucked dick in every single country. I sucked dick in North Korea. Can your dick get too sucked

Philosophical quandary my friends. Yeah. Yeah, does there exist a dick that can be too sucked? I guess if you came a bunch just like a minute ago You know it's hard to get a boner again unless you're a strong young man mm-hmm like me No, I can get three four five boners in a row. Really? No, how much how much I remember when I was younger I could I could get hard again right afterwards. Those were the days those were the days. I'm still able to do that. I Thought you can't get hard initially, but then once I'm going once it gets going and then it's like stuck that way Yeah, it's like a fly over. Yeah Yeah, you got a flywheel dick. I'm to the point now. I've been having a I had it

Well, I've been eating healthier because I know I'm about the while out in Japan, Australia Yeah, and I was shocked that my dick was working again. Like it was one of those things where it was like. Oh, it's pretty simple Yeah, it was like it was just no issue. Yeah, I looked good. You're castrating yourself and making yourself Yeah, yeah and killing yourself Literally if I lost three pounds all my problem, like I don't even have to be not Tooth with grow back. Yeah, I just have to not be this bad. You wouldn't need glasses anymore. Yeah, you know But it felt good dude. It felt good to fuck without dick pills dude with a hard-ass dick. I Was restored because tech stocks are all fucked up today. Why I don't know

That's the beauty of the markets, baby Fuck markets, dude. Fuck investing. Mm-hmm. I'm against that shit. All right Okay, I'm gonna buy every house in Greek town. No, I'm gonna become I'm gonna become the mayor that's investing though No, that's hard ass. That's investing. I understand hard ass. I'm gonna become a feudal lord Yeah, I'm gonna be down and everyone must kiss my ring and pay me trip sort of like the guy with the cape in Godfather 2 Exactly. Yeah, what the fuck's his name that? Don Fannucci. Don Fannucci. Yes. I'm gonna be Don Fannucci I'm gonna dress the exact same way. I'm gonna walk around white suit all white suit. I'm a walk around Greek town I'm gonna get fucking a gyros and fucking tubs of Zaziki and Feta. You'll make diner guys kiss your ring

I'll make yep. I'll fuck their daughters. That'll be pile. They pay me or so on. I'm reinstating. I'm reinstating prima-nachta I'm gonna buy all of old hamstreet Mm-hmm all of fucking Eastern Avenue is gonna be mine, dude. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's a cool move Yeah, I'm buying up the entire neighbor. It's just a block is gonna be mine, dude I'm gonna get back in the car. Why don't more millionaires do that shit? I don't know especially in like ball. They do That guy Dan The guy from your right calves. He owns like Dan Gilbert owns like blocks and blocks of Detroit

Yeah, I mean in Baltimore. You should just do that. Yeah, if you were like a millionaire It's like it's like a million dollars doesn't mean shit to you just buy like Hell of blocks. Mm-hmm, especially the ones right by Hopkins because those exist where it's like you just kind of push out the Hopkins Fear a little bit. Yeah I'm invest now as a homeowner. I want Baltimore to bounce back. Mm-hmm. There's no return on investment owning a whole block Maybe there is Is there I mean it's not it's not gonna be you're not gonna have like Baltimore's on the way back if I bought a block had my own private police force. Mm-hmm guaranteed your safety

That'd be cool. Then I really am a feudal lord, dude Yeah, that would rock There's uh, there's places in Detroit where they don't have police anymore. That's insane or the police just don't show up. Yeah Well Sorry, I have two minutes off the mark here, but Stock market's fucked up guys. So you're if you want to sound like money advice, you got a gamble That's right on sports on sports. Mm-hmm. It's the only it's the only guaranteed safe bet in the world And you can go check them out at 100% guaranteed safe bet calm which in a week's time should redirect to bet the aside

Beat me off guys and now 100% Oh, yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah Salute. I'm sorry that guy DM me and I didn't get back to him. There's no way to lose money.com. Yeah Listen, I do want an email that's stop at beat me off guys calm So if you can make that happen whoever bought it, please holler at us We want stop Nick and Adam at beat me off guys calm. Please. Yeah Yeah, bet the si.com is a premier website that does sports shit bet on fucking games and stuff

If you like that kind of stuff, I don't know. I guess they're like cool or something. Yeah, I guess they're like Yeah, they're cool. They smoke cigs. They blasts. They go to bed after a finger girls. Yeah I guess it's supposed to be like a pretty good website or something like that. It's Mm-hmm. I know I heard something along those lines, but people are definitely saying they play electric guitar Everybody you fucking I can't speak to a person. No, we can But also other people are saying it too. Yeah, which means it's really fucking good Yeah, you know, I mean, I wouldn't even come on this show with my own opinions. I mean, don't be fucked up No, this is irresponsible to like you can't have your this is mine Adam and Nick's opinion that it is a good website

I mean some guy a Christian. I know this guy is Christian. Yeah He's never lied ever He told me he told me the betty as I is like where he goes to bed on shit all the time This guy's in church every every every day. It's not just Sunday. He just loves praying Tuesday mass He does that thing with the hand his hand all the time the cross. Yeah He's like never even I tried to like tell I was like I was like, yeah I was fucking this girl that are pussy other days. I would be talking. Whoa. He was like, what are you talking about? No, he didn't know what sex and he's like, but what's a pussy? Yeah

Yeah, I was like, there's a hole in a woman and he's like that man. That's wild Yeah, I gotta pray about that and then he left. He just went to church. He started crying I go into church. I see him and he's got the Bible open and then in the in the side of the Bible It's his phone and he said 100% safe guaranteed bet.com No way you can lose And you know in-game wagering in-game live in-game wagering they got an award-winning mobile app, dude I think I'm pretty sure I can't you don't hold me to it, but I think they won an Academy Award last year Yep, for their mobile app mobile app and a Tony and yeah, they wanted they did that in so if you were an Emmy

a Zion Award for best Israeli yeah from a contribution of the tech in Oscar and then the ends, you know, you don't want to know what that Really raised this guy named name the fucking Yeah, she called not out not algorithm. No, it's just called an any. Yeah. No. No. What the fuck What's this continuous about the palgorithm and it's where you and your friend figure out the best way to have sex I'm gonna suck each other's dick. Yeah What is the word I'm thinking of hog logistics? It's like laser is one of these where it's multiple word and anagram not an anagram

Palindrome no laser razor and not everything stands for not an acronym Acronym an initial is a very racist guy created the an acronym is like an FBI. Yeah Yeah, it's an Enzo is an FBI is an acronym. Yeah. Anyway, bet the aside comm folks Really bet there put it use promo code come 120 24 hour seven mother fucking award-winning customer award-winning customer service from Good Housekeeping magazine high times and And You know you bet What is it you put in? Oh, yeah, shit or some shit. Listen folks. I know you're thinking that we're just like

You know goofing just goofing around here, but this is fucking serious You have to go to bet the a sign sign up Look at them won't cost you at the minimum it cost you two three hundred dollars That's it though. That's it. What are you being an asshole fucking asshole you fucking asshole? You want this show to continue brought to you by by sponsors like and corporation for public broadcasting and people like you Yeah, you need to go to bet the SI deposit every fucking penny you have take it out of the stock market Take it out of your 401k. We're headed for a drastic recession Mm-hmm. I've been warned by the SEC not to tell my crypto picks anymore after that man killed himself. No

I am not allowed to do crypto picks anymore, but I will tell you that's right bet everything you own on bet the SI Yes on the future on the ravens on every dollar every time On that did we lose to the Browns short but the week before that we won is I'm gonna tell you something empty your life Savings take a life insurance policy out on your wife kill your wife. Yeah, and then you'll get a good cool quarter mil Take that quarter million. Yeah bet on the ravens money line. You put you put the ravens for the Super Bowl beating the Dallas Cowboys a hundred to zero Now I know you think that sounds crazy. You will get crazy odds on that You'll get very good

You will I've done the math on this you will get Sixty billion dollars, which will put you ahead of Carlos Slim the world's Richest Mexican. Yeah, and guess what Carlos Slim? He's named after his own dick Yeah, and you'll have a bigger dick than him too because he's got a slim dick So come one 12 promo code come 120 bet 20 you get you put your deposit down you get a hundred and twenty percent bonus Mm-hmm. You know what that means It's even more money even more money than the first fucking yeah, do the math yourself Bet you a side I come

Damn, I love gambling man. Yeah, I love gambling and I love telling people about my favorite website Bet you a side I come mm-hmm. This is the read that never ends I Was responsible for listening these ads the bet DSI is like I mean they certainly gave us this time I don't know what Grover's fur being held on with calm Hasn't Grover actually being completely hairless He's covered in blue pews

That's all actually cookie monsters come How that really relates to sports betting Our Grover and Cookie Monster related they're both blue. Yeah, well Cookie Monster is Grover's retarded brother Oh, I'm afraid my brother with Down syndrome is I don't remember Grover sounds like that's pretty good. I think yeah, see is for chromosome. That's too many for me Well, she's chromosome monster Originally was the What you got an autistic character, there's a gay cup the sexless gay couple you got plenty of blacks on the show

Why can't we go Down syndrome? So true. Why isn't there a Down syndrome muppet? Mm-hmm chromosome monster? Yeah, he snacks on the extra chromosomes and cure or there's a Down syndrome monster Who is a villain? He's the enemy of Cookie Monster. Mmm. She's always trying to get those cookies. Oh, cuz he also wants them He also That's the thing man if you want real representation, it's not just the hero roles You know, you just have black panther. It's like we're the movies where black people are just villains serials pedophiles Raping white children across the land. Yeah, that's right. We need that Here it comes down we've pledged our own dollars to fund any movie about a black pedophile

Look, I'll tell you I know what black people want. They want to feel like human Mm-hmm. So it's you got to get the good with the bad because even all of us there is a panther and a pedophile That's the original yin and yang is about yeah one is a panther and one is a guy that sucks off little kids very small penises And somehow gets sexual gratification out of that. That's so fucking weird. No, it's weird. That's the other thing about pedophilia. It's fucking a little kid's dick and getting hard. Yeah. Like it's ridiculous. It is. It truly is ridiculous. So yeah, we were saying on stage. That's how weird Al got his name. Oh, yeah. It's weird. That guy's weird. Like queered Al mm-hmm mm-hmm queer yeah cuz I'm queered Because I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm really really gay. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom.

Shymone, yo dick is hard. Your ass is pretty gays. My ass is fat. What is that your butt is min Isn't that yeah, he says yeah, which is pretty gay. You see Prince being like Prince refused to be in that video because of that lyric Bad. Yeah, did you see that interview? No Prince and he was like he was like Yeah, he was supposed to be Wesley Snipes and Prince that he does a video and he's like Excuse you. My butt is yours. I don't think literally Prince is like I'm not with that gay shit He's a religious man Respect the Prince for being gay but not gay. The gayest straightest man of all time. He got he got too much pussy That he went pussy blind. That's why you try to use all those pills

You just have to Prince too for being 411 our all shared height that we all that's right. We're all the same height as Prince Especially Adam is the most extremely the same height as us. I'm comfortable I'm comfortable with you saying your butt is mine I Yeah, when we saw Paul Simon a couple weeks ago had to be 5-1. How about Paul wall Simon? That'd be cool Yeah, you don't know what height Paul Simon was 500 feet away. So I'm gonna monitor. I bet you it's 5 You only saw it. I mean, I'm sure I bet you on celebrity. I'm sure he is but I bet you celebrity heights 5-4

Which is inflated. Yeah, I'm sure he is at height, but don't pretend like you could do he was on stage with like 20 people You were looking at a monitor. He was tiny 5-3 5-3 listed listed. So he's got to be 5-2 really Joe's 5-5. I'm just saying you're bad at estimating distances and Measure art sounds like I'm perfect. I know this is something you already looked up and then you pretended This was it. So you're good at space Willie Nelson is 5-6. I looked it up Bob Dylan 5-7 perhaps because he looked 5-1 on stage. Hold on Willie Nelson He's 5-6. I just told you bitch. No, no What's his name sound like? Oh

Hmm Emmett Tilley Nelson You guys want to go to Fright Fest at Six Flags We have literally 24 hours to do that before we leave the country. Oh, yeah, I got a package shit, dude I haven't done shit man. Stop. You want to go to Macy's with me after this and get nice duffel bags? I have a duffel bag You want to go to Macy's with me and Bedding and laugh at the gay guys

The gay guys are working the bedding section. Are we only doing one usually I would like to that's what happens If you become a sexless gay man, you get into textures. Mm-hmm feeling like feeling things. Oh Yeah, yeah soft smooth. I feel like every gay guy fucks though. Is that my prejudice? Not all of them. No, not that concierge at the Radisson in the Inner Harbor. Oh, yeah, you you experienced him I don't know him. Oh, yeah, that's right. It is funny to see you know a small-town gay guy. Yeah Boom, I'm sure he has some they're always they're always working at Starbucks and like looks so desperate to get out Yeah, so this Florida is getting owned by these storms. Yeah, my good. That's what they get for George Zimmerman I hope all those people die

Well, they also make me feel good one is also to make me feel better about my politics That's what the guys are all the people that those people heard also in that all those black people deserve to die because of George Getting off Take my dick Florida. So Market cap Take a look at the crypto markets. So I've been like really working my way into this Fin-Goth thing I think that's like the new thing I am Financial golf. Yeah, I'm a financial goth. Hmm. It's like, yeah, I just have fucking investments

He's talking about a rich guy, I just I'm rich gay guy that wears black. I want to die and I'm worried about my portfolio I just cut myself and diversify my portfolio. Yeah, I cut a line down my fucking arm mimics the Nasdaq's EMA 200, you know, mm-hmm. I just Love mucho ass. Do you have do you have blue ship investments or just crypto? I don't have any investments. Oh, yeah, he has none He's not ever discussed my actual financial Do not let these people know that I am worth over seven million dollars now There's not true because this podcast would not be happening. Oh, yeah, you had seven million dollars. I would be so gone

Adam and I would replace myself with somebody that I knew would fuck it up No, we would not continue doing the show. We wouldn't know there would not you guys would still need money Whatever, we'd figure money. You couldn't even be friends anymore because I would be so well be your bunker Well, I wouldn't be in my bunker. I would just be hanging out with other rich people Who's your other other other high net worth individuals like who I don't know There's people come out of the woodwork once you become rich. No, they want to hang out with you Those people are just hangers on. No, I mean other people that are worth 10 15 18 billion dollars. Yeah Is there is there one guy in Nigeria where that scam thing worked and he has like I'm sure a hundred million dollars

Well, according to a lift driver. I had that happens a lot. Yeah, guy Jiriya Yep Diarrhea mm-hmm, and they have diarrhea song song song my dick song song my thing Yeah There's one for sasudio sasudio, it's the studio apartment where you suck eyes off No furniture, just one there's some knee like a pillow for your knees on the floor. Oh, this is something we should bring up We're me and stave. We're this is a great story for the podcast me and stave

We're talking to some girl the other day and we kept saying as a joke. Let me see your pussy We were laughing pretty hard at that. Oh, yeah, that she would like but you're not in a sexual way You're like, do you mind if I take a look at your pussy? Can we see your pussy real quick? And we kept saying it to her and she laughed the first couple of times and then stopped and then we were laughing Then we kept doing it maybe six or seven because it was funnier every time especially when she wasn't laughing Well, she's told a story about some guy being like can I see your hands? She's like training a box and she held her hands out and then he just held her hand and it was like that's cute Mmm, that was his move to try and fuck and then we thought naturally. Can I see your pussy? Can I see your pussy? Yeah?

Can we see your pussy real quick? Oh, that's cute Look how well my dick fits into your pussy It's also sounds like you're just trying to borrow it. Yo, let me see that. Let me hold it. Can I hold your pussy? Let me hold that. Yeah. Yeah, can I borrow your pussy? Mm-hmm other current events going oh Do you guys hear about that fucking guy who loves it? This is a cause we have to get behind worry. Oh, there's a guy who loves trains He's autistic or some shit. Mm-hmm, and he got in trouble. He keeps getting in trouble for stealing the train We've definitely talked about that on the show

Have we or you know what it is is I've heard about that guy so many fucking times and people keep emailing me the story Yeah, that we don't that I don't talk about it because I feel like I must have or but I saw it because I think will share the link like now He's like he's about to go to he's got a big trial coming up And if they find him dangerous the poor guys got to go to fucking jail for like his whole life Or if they say he's like, you know got mental problems, then he gets to like black autism I know but but that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Well, it's like autism trains Obviously the uniforms like an obsession black part crime and you combine the This man is a victim. He should be working for the MTA. He's a trained savant

But I mean that's true. It's like if you're so good How hard is it to be good at they're on a fucking track? The man where is he gonna take it? But he fucking was a little kid who learned how to do it. That's pretty impressive What was the Leslie Nielsen movie? We're wrongfully accused. That's wrongfully accused. Yeah. Well, here's the thing Instead of packing let's watch the airplane movies after this. Let's watch your make up. I'll make an apple crumble pie I don't want pie. I'm keeping are we gonna do to dude. I can't wait to buy a house I have to go see you. I'm gonna be my own housewife. What I'm gonna be my own housewife I'm gonna buy a house and just make myself pies. I bet your pies suck dick, bro. Probably. Oh, it'll take a long time to get good

Yeah, you gotta put them on the windows. I'm actually I like I would post pictures on Instagram of like food that I had made because it looked bad, but Like I have tried so hard to make food. That's good. Like it was like a joke After time like I started off with no I know attempting something for real I know because I could see the pride in your eyes when it turned out good. Yeah, you know, it's so fucking hard to cook I don't understand it. It's not that hard, bro I have no idea how it works. You just gotta have a natural flair. See I'm gonna cook because I love food So you know where you have to like develop film in the dark. That's how like cooking works for me Mm-hmm. You can't taste it throughout. I have no idea what's going on

You're supposed to taste it throughout. That's like you can't taste raw chicken. He's right No, no, no, but you're supposed to taste the food before Baking is hard. Cooking's easy. Baking's like baking's easy. You just follow the rules No, you follow the instructions. No, it didn't go wrong. I followed so many fucking recipes when it's done It's like this is barely edible I follow it to a fucking tea recipes like cooking recipes is harder than no Because baking is like just you just put it in the right amount of ingredients and no listen you I've watched a great British bake Off, okay, she can go wrong. Yeah, but those people are really going off. I mean, they're about the great bitch

It's bake off the great what a great bitch tits bake off and it's only men with breasts Those guys would honestly make really just topless and they go they have their arms band They're back and they go yes chef and they're tits shake Yes, yeah What the fuck is fringepan stuff who knows but I'll talk about that in bake off. I tell you what underpants. Yes I Take it away take it away gold Goldie me gold. Yeah, what's what's a good? What's a good like I like friendly Enduring nickname for your anti-semitic. Yes at the same time. Oh, all right. Here's here's the return of Adam's deal corner

Mmm. You ready? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah carved out a British mandated Palestine deal corner is the forefront of horrific atrocities In the world first of all before the secret intelligence organization that's allowed to carry out assassinations without the international community batting an eye Adams deal corner First of all, I just want to say that the lowering prices around the globe, the mandate for Palestine, had nothing to do with it, but Israel is the only thing preventing globalist

capitalism from taking over the world because Israel keeps prices down. They love deals. They love deals so much. The balance between Israel's love of getting a deal and discounts prevents capitalism from just making all the money go up to the top. Well, did you see? It's not taxation. It's the Mossad.

It's a loot to them. Trump was... Keep capping those children. ...working with an Israeli security firm during the election to, like, basically, everyone's been waiting for Russia, and the second Israel's implicated now, no one's saying anything. You know, I got people say, like, if you want to know who runs the world, see who you can't criticize. It's Mack Weldon underpants.

Yeah, if you want to know who runs the world, see who you can't criticize. But I posted some, like, pretty nasty comments about this three-year-old with Down syndrome on YouTube. Everyone's, like, fucking mad at me. It's him. But that's who runs the world. That's who runs the world. Yeah, it's Cody from Salt Lake City, and his mom is a school teacher, and I said, what,

I'm supposed to be impressed that this kid knows half the alphabet? He's fucking retarded. It's a good point. A regular child knows the whole alphabet by the time he's half his age. So true. Anyways. You know who isn't supportive of Israel? Bad Baby, the rapper, the 15-year-old with big titties.

She came out as staunchly pro-Israel on Instagram. She's fucking retarded. The best, like, the best Zionist celebrity is John Voight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, they got him off of drugs. The... Israel did? No, the Chabad, the Orthodox Jewish organization, got him off of drugs.

The Chabad? And they made him really right. That sounds like a good sandwich. Chabad is, like, those dudes in Crown Heights. It's the, it's the Blues Brothers, guys. The guys that dress with that. How about a movie called Chabad a Boy, and it's about a boy, but it's a Hasidic guys trying to cut off the tip of his penis.

Circumcising him and sucking his dick. I haven't seen about a boy, so I don't know what it's about. I don't know what it is. I'm assuming it's about a boy, but Chabad a boy. It's the boy cute. The boy is very cute and precocious, and then you got Hugh, Hugh, what's his name? Jackman? No, no, no.

What do you go up to? Who's that British guy that's like a huge brand? You go up to Chabad, guys, and you go, how bad do you suck my dick? Chabad, guys. Oh, yes. How bad do you want to suck my dick? They're the, uh, the RU Jewish really bad, probably. Yeah.

Anyway, so, but if you want to get your dick sucked by a Hasidic guy, you got to pull your underwear down. Yep. And the best kind of underwear to pull down to reveal your, your, your ready to be sucked chubby. Mack Weldon underwear, Mack Weldon.com, simple shopping, premium shopping, simple designs, simple designs for simple people. Are you simple?

Are you stupid as fuck? Are you a dumb motherfucker? Are you a stupid bitch? Are you a stupid fucking asshole? If so, go to Mack Weldon.com and check out their, even a fucking idiot like you can figure out the website because it's that easy. Look, dude, I spend so much time at my computer just fucking screaming obscenities and online shopping websites.

Oh yes. The other day I was at this website and it's like, before you can download the video, you need to like submit 30,000 bitcoins through like this escrow service to make sure that you're not working for the fucking FBI. And it's like, just let me, by the time the video downloads, I'm not even going to be hard anymore. This kid's probably going to be over 18. Absolutely.

I gotta think about that. It's like, it doesn't even work for me if he's not still, it's not still a child. Sure. You want to see a newspaper next to one of your fucking phones. And I'm like, I'm like, you know, I was like, you know what? Fuck online shopping. And then I found Mack Weldon.com. A website for guys like me.

For an idiot that wanted to download something. Real dummies. I figured out how to use websites on Mack Weldon.com with their easy shopping interface. Damn. If only all websites were this. It's so much easier than the dark web. When I'm trying to buy an AK-47, I could just go to Mack Weldon.com and load up on underwear.

Beautiful. Anyways. Yeah. Mack Weldon.com. They got a silver line of shirts and underwear that are naturally antimicrobial. That means that if you got a small dick and you put them on, they'll burst into flames. Yeah. And it's silver.

Bursting. It's silver, so it's made out of coins. Yeah. It's silver, so your skin turns blue. Like a smirk. Like a smirk. Green. Yeah.

Yeah. I want silver poisoning and just have blue skin. Yeah, sure. Yeah. They got duffel, the duffel bag, I think. They got crewnecks. It's crewnecks season, dude. Fall coming up.

You wearing a hoodie? You're a fucking asshole. What are you? Mr. Robot? You go crewneck. Mm-hmm. Hoodies are for children and criminals. I think they sell hoodies, too.

Okay. Well, if they sell hoodies, I've rescind that. Check out their hoodies. It's the only company that sells hoodies that aren't for criminals or children. That's right. And sweatpants, too. They do it. They got sweatpants.

Great track pants. Are you a guy that likes to drive his girlfriend's car? Mm-hmm. His girlfriend's father's car? You know? Mm-hmm. You're really into Quickstar. Get some sweatpants.

So true. You know? That's what I do. Mm-hmm. I used to. I used to be one of those guys. I miss being one of those guys. What kind of guy?

Just a scumbag. Yeah. Where your girlfriend pays for everything. Yeah. Getting ahead in her father's car. Yeah. The car that you're driving drunk. Damn.

I used to be so much cooler. Yeah. Really cooler. It's funny. It's like having money does cuck you no matter what. Mm-hmm. Because there's no way to be a piece of shit. Mm-hmm.

I guess you can. You can't. You just... That's why people fuck kids. You can be a total piece of shit. No. But the kind of piece of shit that takes things from people. Are you kidding me?

That is exactly who rich people are. I'm too charitable to be like that. My heart's too big. No. It's not. No. That's what the doctor said. Oh, yeah.

You just got diagnosed with a large heart. You're like, yeah, I'm charitable, so... Yeah. The doctor's like, no. That's not what it means. In fact, you're kind of a bad guy. The stress of how bad you are is probably enlarging your heart. Yeah.

Anyways, go to macwellin.com and use promo code COMTOWN, C-U-M-T-O-W-N to get 20 something or 20, 25% or something like that off your order. Yeah. I have completely forgotten. We've been doing these ads two years. But it's somewhere up there. It's a nice discount you fucking need. Yeah, it's a fucking decent.

Because I'll tell you, those underwear are fucking expensive. So you're going to need that... Yeah. You're going to need that night. Actually, comparatively, they're not. If you go to Macy's or whatever, you try to get fancy underwear. It's true. For nice underwear, they're very nice.

Yeah, it's reasonably priced for nice underwear. And also, listen, you want to run that scam? I wouldn't say that, you know, if it weren't true. That's right. Definitely wouldn't. I have zero fucking interest in actually being nice to these companies. I'm not putting my fucking word on the line. So true, brother.

My goddamn word means more than anything. My fucking... Look, at the end of the day, the only thing you have is your word. So true. Herpes. Yeah. And also... And a promise that you do not have herpes.

But you do have. At the end of the day, the only thing you have is your word. The knowledge that you've lied about having herpes. Never lied. Never once. If you believe something. Yeah. If you say you don't have herpes, it's still your word.

When you said, do you have herpes, I thought you were asking me if I wanted to play the drinking game, herpes. Yeah. So true. You have herpes. I didn't understand it was a literal question. I thought it was euphemism. Referring to the classic drinking game.

Do you have herpes? Which I have never played because I've only been drunk once and it lasted 25 years. That was one drunk. That was one drinking I've done. And that was an entire session. So to say that I am a drunk or somebody that drank a lot is incorrect. I'm somebody that drank one time. And...

Yeah. Did I ever black out? No. But do I remember anything? No, not at all. I think my memory is black, it's more of like a white, kind of hazy color. Yes. Smoky.

A lot of, yeah, more of a yellow submarine out. Smoked out, brother. I was also on ketamine at the time, which was legal in the 1980s. Cocaine and ketamine were completely legal. Completely legal for the 1980s of which we were alive for two years. An average of two years between the three of us. Look, I don't want to yet actually you, but there's a little thing called ex post facto. Maybe I can elucidate.

Elucidate, go off. Elucidate, go off. Elucidate eyes, you motherfuckers. Elucidate me, dude. Ex post facto means that if you were alive when something wasn't illegal, you're allowed to do it. Yep. Interesting. And if you were alive while something was illegal, for instance, we can't do inter...

Nazi Germany. We can't do interracial marriages in certain states. Yeah. Well, that, I mean, the only reason I wouldn't interracial marry is, like, just to be safe. I'm pretty sure it's fine. But it's like, why risk it? Yep. No, that's true.

Anyways, promo code, come town. Yeah, and you can return them if you don't like them. Yeah, and you don't like the fucking underwear you put on them. Oh, yeah. Mack Weldon. We've got 24-7 conversations. Award winning. I always forget that.

Oh, man. I love pussy. No, you don't. Yeah, huh? In fact, I've heard the opposite. Who? Shut it! It's all over Twitter.

What? It's trending. Oh, my God. Are you serious? Yeah, stop. You didn't see that. Stop doesn't love pussies trending on Twitter? It's trending on Twitter.

The New York Times is reporting about it right now. I'm honestly so fucked up. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna have to post a video of me eating pussy on Twitter to revert those claims. I'm all about this limo driver. What limo driver? The guy that killed all those people. Oh, yeah, that sucks, man.

Why are you about him? I don't know, man. That seems badass. No, it doesn't. How'd he kill him? Limo driver. You've been down too long in the midnight sea. Limo driver.

Killing an entire wedding party. Yeah, deadly one. Did he die too? Or just every... Did he kill them with a gun or a crash? Well, the brakes went out on the fucking limo. Oh. The company was owned by some upstanding immigrant from Pakistan.

Mm-hmm. A guy who came here from Pakistan who... That's what I love is like, you know, like just like talking about like, oh, guys are gonna come here from Mexico and they're rapists and criminals. And for the most part, that's like statistically inaccurate. Right. But think about all the people that just suck at their job. Yeah.

You know, to don't get the brakes changed on their fucking limo. To save probably $3 over the long run. Right, yeah. Yeah, the more expensive than that, Adam. You side with the business owner that didn't... No, I was gonna say there are plenty of Americans that don't like doing... Yeah, no, this guy... Life-saving.

And the company was like indicted for fraud in 2001 when he first came here. And to let him stay in the country because he was Pakistani, he turned into like an informant in trapping other Pakistani people and like bullshit. I didn't really look into it. But, you know, how the FBI just tricks retarded Muslim people and driving vans full of fake bombs. Yeah.

They're like, we got him. Look at this elaborate plot he had. That we created. We entirely came up with. Yeah, we're against the Patriot Act on this show. We're against it. I don't want the government listening to our... Let me just say this.

What kind of patriot would give up his essential freedoms? So true. Good point, dude. I would love to die in 9-11. If it meant that I don't have to go through one of those body scanners anymore. Yeah, I don't want all those guys looking at my dick. I like showing up. My dick isn't even hard.

You shouldn't be able to look at my dick through my pants through that body scanner. No, that's not the Patriot Act. What the Patriot Act is, is... No, it is. Government guys reading... It's Adam reading... Believe me. That's the Patriot Act.

You're trying to get nudes from girls. Huh? Yeah. They have all those... They shouldn't read those either. They shouldn't. I agree. I'm a patriot.

But fuck the Patriot Act. How about that for a take? Oh, I agree too. And also abolish ICE. You see they fucking... They're just deporting people. They found some guy's wallet who was already applying for a green card. And they're like, hey, we found your wallet.

And then they called him and then they're just deporting his ass. Back to Brazil. Oh, god. Where Brazil seems fucked up, bro. Yeah, they're just... They're electing a fascist. Damn, we're fucked, huh? Yeah.

Global warming is gonna fuck our asses. And it's gonna be fucking fascist again. Yep, but we're gonna be broadcasting into the abyss, folks. And Cory Booker's gonna run for fucking president. How about global horning? And in 40 years, everybody becomes horny. I love that. That would be a beautiful change.

If we could do global horny? Okay, how about that? We run, and that's our platform. We turn global warming into global horny. Everyone sucks in fucks. Yeah. Maybe the cum can... If we come enough, we get cum.

We missed it. We make it turn into a mist. That, it's so sticky, it closed up the hole in the ozone layer. Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah, you get a big bucket of cum and hook it up to one of those paint sprayers. Yeah. Yes. And then you just go around...

You go around midtown painting women until the cops stop you. No, no, not women. What are paint sprayers? You know, there's like compressors or whatever. Yeah, compressors. No, no, we have to take a hot air balloon all the way up. That would be a hilarious crime. Some guy with a backpack filled with cum.

Like Mario Paint? Like Mario Sunshine or whatever? Yeah, where's the backpack for the cum? Where the Mario Sunshine outfit. And then you just go around Times Square painting like middle-aged women from Minneapolis or like, what the fuck? And then you're just painting them with cum. Yeah, he's bombing.

Welcome to New York, bitch. He's bombing the city, dude. He's doing tags. I would love to read an article about something like that happen. There shouldn't be a penalty for that. Well, there was a story. Somebody told me, not even a story, somebody told me they got a friend that works for like the Secret Service, which doesn't really make sense, but there was this guy.

You know, my boy? This guy was like, they caught him. He was sending the musical instruments to disabled poor kids or whatever on the country, and he was coming and all the flute mouthpieces. Oh my god. And he sent out like thousands of flutes to kids. Why were the secrets? And the kids were like playing the flute and like putting the cum on their mouth.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That's just a prank. And he's beating off to that? That's like that prompt. Like if you had a button that killed somebody anywhere in the world, but it's like, you had a button that makes you cum because of the knowledge that somebody else is eating your cum a million miles away, but you don't know who it is. Would you press it?

That guy's like, yeah, of course. Yeah. No, I get it. I mean, if I had that button maybe, but I guess he is coming, huh? Yeah. Damn, dude. Just some kid putting cum in their mouth. Before the fact, though, like you're beating off to the idea of somebody putting that flute

on their mouth. Not somebody. A disabled kid. You're beating off to the idea of a poor kid putting their cum in your mouth through the flute. And so presumably you're beating off to the idea and then you come on the flute. And at that point you've already come. Yeah, I know.

Why are you still? What the fuck are you doing? Don't mail it. I know. I should be this guy's life coach. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

Just keep the food. It's not like he's planting seeds because it's like maybe he'll be down sometime and he'll want to get horny and think about someone eating his cum, you know? Mm-hmm. Just kind of not condoning his behavior. Just kind of trying to figure out exactly what he's getting at. Mm-hmm. A lot of irons in the fire, you know?

Do you think he has pictures of those kids? Is he thinking about, or is he just abstract people? For the price of a cup of coffee a day and then that guy's like, can we just send a cup of coffee with cream in it? Damn. That's how that dentist did. He just would squirt cum, but I guess he watched it. The McDonald's character?

I looked it up. That guy's not a McDonald's character. Really? So he's just a guy? Yeah. I went through the whole list. I mean, this whole time everybody thought that McDonald's had a cum dentist character. I guess they don't.

Dude, I'm so excited for fall. I feel so much better. I hate the summer, dude. We did kind of, we are going, we're kind of missing a nice chunk of fall actually. No, we're going to get a nice fall too. I looked up the weekly forecast this weekend. Oh yeah? Yeah.

What's it looking like? It's between 69 and 72. Nice. Yeah. Can we fuck some Japanese porn stars? Yeah. That would be awesome. Yeah, but your dick has to be blurred out while you do it.

Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck is going on in my cock? Yeah. Just walking around the street. What's the deal with the fucking blurred out dick? What's going on over here? It's going to be so hard for me not to do the voice. I'm actually really worried about it.

Yeah. Just doing, because people are going to say shit to me in the voice. Yes. And then I'm going to lose, I'm going to... I mean, I saw you laughing at a gay man dancing the other night. Yeah. And I knew what was going on. And I was like, don't make eye contact with him.

He's only going to get worse because we'll lock eyes and laugh about it together. Where was this? I can't say. But I saw you doing it. I don't want to say. So don't say it, but tell me. There was no gay man dancing there. There was.

I saw it. I guarantee you. Nick and I were laughing at just a fat gay guy ordering donuts. Well, let me clarify. I wasn't laughing at the fact that he was gay. I was laughing at the fact that he was a big fat nerd wearing Tiva's. And he was like, one adulterated, let's try it please. Ah, adulterated, let's try it.

No, that's not what he sounded like, dude. Yeah. He had like a lady's voice. No. He was like a big fat nerd. And he was like, one adulterated, let's try it please. How do you guys know he was gay then? Adam.

Because he had a lady's voice. I didn't even think he was gay. I thought he was a nerd. After Adam was like, we're just laughing at a gay guy. I'm like, sure. He could be gay also. Who cares? That's the kind of bully I am.

Yeah. I don't give a fuck if he's gay. I'm non-discriminating, dude. Yeah, yeah. A little of those people are like, hey, I'm not racist. I hate everybody equally. That's cool. Except kind of blacks a little bit more.

A little, just a pinch more and cues also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And okay, Muslims as well. But after that, Chinese a half step less than them, but also more than white people. But I respect them because they're smarter. I respect them because they spit inside. And Indians again. I'm racist even though they're smart too.

I hate them too. Suck my penis, lick my balls and fuck my ass. I saw Mandy, guys. Oh yeah? Fucking rules. I saw Candy. I heard it's great. And it was your ass.

It was good. It rules. Nicky Cage. It fucking ripped. Maybe I'm going to see it tonight. You can see it on demand. No, I've been told by numerous people you got to see in the theater. I saw it at home, but I'm sure it was better in the theater.

I got a big theater set up. Is it scary? I mean, you have fucking surround sound Dolby 10.1 and this amazing TV. I mean, if we fucking close the blinds. Is it scary? Yeah, I don't get scared. But yeah, it's scary. Oh, you don't get scared, but it's scary.

It's a movie. How are you going to get scared? Oh my God. Answer the fucking question. Is it a scary movie? It's a scary movie. Adam was in fear so much in his regular life. He'd never be frightened by a movie.

I'm not going to get afraid of a movie. I'm a giant coward that shrivels up anytime another man is on the same side of the sidewalk. That's not even true. Don't tell people these things. I've seen you every time a black person passes you. Fuck off. He's like, actually, I don't want to go get a coffee. He's running back inside.

Super professional. He ordered food. How long did you order? How long ago was the food? That was a while, yeah. Yeah, because this episode is almost done. Yeah, we're almost done here. I have a hard ass fucking dick.

I'm so excited to go to Japan. Dude, this rules. This is going to be fucking awesome. I know. This is the last good thing we're ever going to do, dude. Oh yeah. Broadcast is going to go downhill. Many say it already has.

No, that's not true. But it will soon. Don't get me wrong. We need new sponsors. I just want this show to transition into an hour-long library. We're almost there. Let's do the boat. Ah, fuck, the next one's a bonus.

You do one company an episode and you charge them $800 million. Love it. Then you gamble all of that on the Carlos Slim fund. That's right. That's right. You put that in there. You seeded the spot on the couch, Adam. How does that feel?

That's fun. I'll stand the rest of you up. Well, it's almost over. It's almost over. So catch us in Japan. Catch us in Australia, the 23rd, Sydney, the 25th, Melbourne. 26th, Melbourne. 26th, Melbourne.

28th, Brisbane. I thought I had that memorized. And then I am coming to Indianapolis on the 29th of November. I think Cincinnati on the 30th and I think Columbus on the 1st. And then in DC, I'm coming. My first show. Dude, that's November. No, that's, yeah, November to December.

And then DC, the weekend of the 7th and 8th. I'm at the DC Draft House doing my first real comedy club weekend four shows. Please come out. I could really use the numbers gang. So see you then, everyone. And we're about to get sucked off in Japan. The next time you'll hear from us will be, well, actually we're about to do another one, but at some point you're here from us in Japan.

All right. Goodbye, everyone.