The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 133 – grandma’s boy

Episode Date: December 13, 2018

dam that movie was funny as hell lol

All right, all right Here we are at CUF TWN.com You're the nation's number one premier destination for ordering sex with the young I don't know if we actually have we don't have that domain which one come town.com probably not We do have calm.town. That's a good one to have. Yeah We're here in the pad Nick bought Mario Party and Yeah, we got a switch and we got a Mario Party going a lot of people complaining about me playing Red Dead Redemption

On the show and I hear you. Yeah, I saw all the people deleting their subscriptions. I saw the feedback I got the emails you win. I'll play Mario Party instead Yeah, and now if you guys were mad that only Nick was playing video games Guess what? Don't worry because now all three of us are playing Mario Party. We're all playing Mario Party now This is interesting. There's actually been 11 Mario Parties. Really? Yeah, this is the 11th Mario Party And if you play Mario Party 9 and then Mario Party 11, you get to play as the towers If you delete it to be Muhammad bin son, what the fuck is a save file first you play Mario Party 9 You put that in the switch and then you unload it and then put in 11

And then you delete your save file for smash and then reload the save file and then you get to play as the twin towers Really? Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah What was it? What were the hijackers names Muhammad? That's a cool name who evolves in the Muhammad Yeah, I'm the fat little check this out You got special dice you can that's right bitch, and I'm rolling them right now So suck this fat hog so Monty the mole so I was playing as Monty mole who looks surprisingly like a lot like Except for the two front teeth. Yeah, he's only got one front tooth. Thank you. Is that one? Yes

Yeah, it's one tooth Adam Adam is we're playing a game for babies because Adam doesn't know how to count between one and two It's difficult for me Oh, I just got a special block bitch. Do you don't roll it out of your head negative to how you dumb bet a bastard? You dumb bastard. Oh now we're playing a game a mini game. Yeah, so this is Don't wake Wiggler, that's a good game. I wish you'd say I got another one on the tip of my tongue Oh fuzzy flight school help how apt yeah for 9-11 11 we playing no, this is just practice. Oh, what you got to move the shit around. Yeah, I Want to do buttons dude. Yeah, I'm more of a button. Okay, so I thought this would be a good idea

This is a horrible idea destroy the show. Yeah way more way more than Red Dead Redemption All right, let's just play this we'll play this one mini game, and then we'll get to work and then after that we log in We clock in we punch punch in the clock Yeah, we get we start clock punching up in here punching the clock, and we suck off the cock It's getting the hot in here, so I'm gonna take out my cock I am taking out my cock just to cool it off My cock is fucking hot just so I'm up taking it out 50s guy and like At Birmingham, Alabama, and he's just washing his dick and balls in the blacks on me. Oh, that's hot today. I tell you what

Certainly is just sculpture Just a fucking a family waiting in line a black family patiently waiting in line Like suits he's an overall like you got yes, sir It just the sign says colors slash white penis The sheriff washing his ass What it is a Out there What the fuck Adam press SL and SR bitch. Oh, we're waiting on you. I didn't realize sorry

Yeah, I bet you didn't dude We're all fucking busy here. If we don't finish this we can't punch in we can't we can't punch the clock in J6 I love to have the J6. Hello. My name is J6 in doll. Oh Fuck god damn it. Yeah, no, this is so this game sucks. This game sucks Fuck this fuck you fucking sucks. She's fucking gay, dude. Yeah, fuck you fuck Damn, I got one life left and my ass just got fucking obliterated fuck. Oh, did Adams gas? I won by being Yoshi, all right, it's over the game's over. I don't know. This game sucks. What do you mean? I won? No, it's over. It clearly is a glitch in the controller game. It's broken

Yeah, it's you know because the game is for babies. I got Fucking gay I got plus eight coins. Yeah, I bet you did man. I bet you know exactly how many coins you have I have 14 coins All right, this is over. Fuck you. Yeah, you clearly cheated you clearly programmed the box Yeah, that's what Adam does he programs box instead of smashing. Yeah, which is what me and he's like, ooh, baby You mind if I write a computer program? Not gay dot XO. Yeah, how's it going, baby? Oh Fuck I should also say real quick before we get a cooking. I was supposed to be in Indianapolis this Thursday India And I can't make it the India of the Midwest the Indian Midwest all seen from Indian that's right

I was supposed to be doing a show exclusively for stretchy armed bald motherfuckers I can't make it had a death in the fam We'll still be in Columbus the next night this Friday. We'll still be in Cincinnati on Saturday and Cleveland So sorry about that indie. I'm gonna make it up But had some shit I have to take I gotta go a fucking funeral on Thursday. Unfortunately, so Anyway, just wanted to clear that up. Everybody should have already gotten their refunds. We'll get them in three to five business days It's already been processed, but if you have a problem holler at me and I will I will be there soon I'm also coming to Pittsburgh and Buffalo and all this other shit stop it up is the but the breakfast tour has kicked off

Phoenix I'm there the 18th. Yes LA the second all these dates. Please go to stop it up is and Buy them shits for but yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming to cities and I'm sorry. I had to cancel Indianapolis So now Adam are you still playing this gay game, dude? No, I'm not okay turn off. Just turn the TV off. Why no I get to stop turn. No, it's my turn. So yeah, maybe we should keep playing actually now that I think about it Monty the mall, baby the big dig savage the Chinese looking rodent. Yeah plus one coin a suck me But I stay put which is nice. Yeah, this game sucks now. There's not my turn. I just decided Yeah, we're gonna see what happens on my turn Let Nick do his turn and then maybe me one more turn and then we know no no no turn off right after mine

Oh, my man. My man rolled six. Well, his dice only he's got sixes and lose two coins on it Oh, that's a pretty. Wow, warrior. That's a twist of his wife. That's a pretty big big with a bee the sexy bee I'd love to fuck that be there. Although her nose is a little too big, but that fucking caboose. Yeah She that bitch is around bro. This one pays for itself the coin NATO, you know, I was having a conversation yesterday What are your fellow's thoughts on? Invaginated nipples you ever hear of such a thing. Is that the inside nipples? It is I kind of every once in a while I do like those as a change of pace. It's like what's going? What are you doing in there? I like a puffy inside nipples. Yeah, but it's got to be puffy. They pop out like King Friday on

Wait, what are they? What are inside? Indent you've never seen a nipple like that. They're Invaginated where the titty they're called in vagin inside titty the real inside titty was at the areola or no Yeah, I mean, I don't know it. You know how it usually comes out like a little like a tip of a little slim gym Mm-hmm. Those are dented in this you got to get your gay-ass picture taken Every game I love get my this is what I do with my dick. Look at me damn dude. I'm in that pic. Yeah. Oh You just slap each other and then take fucking pictures. All right, let's play this one real quick After that we're done though. Yeah after this game for sure after this game. We're fucking done

What can I say the camera loves me camera loves this hard-ass dick actually damn look at me Look at you just fuck. I feel like I'm looking at my picture taking me too. Fuck you. We're not even playing Adam you dumb bitch press SNL LNR bitch. I didn't realize we were playing sorry after this We're done though for everyone wondering Fuck what I Knew this guy that was like You go hang out at his his place like in yes, I'm right in the front you fucking idiots In my dick when we were like on my late teens or whatever

Uh-huh And what would happen then? I would get like drunk and play Mario Party and in like the basement or whatever I remember like turning like 21 or maybe just one. Yeah. No, I was like 19 I guess I'd moved away and it was like, okay. This is you can't keep doing this forever. This is fucking And now I'm still now I'm 30 yeah Well doing it But now I'm just spending my money instead of his parents right and also wasting other people like the people

Oh, yeah Fuck I'm wasn't even in that one at all. I've turned it into a job term. I a hard job that I get tired of doing All right, you gotta fucking stop doing this now that I won since I won it's time to stop lost Yeah, it's about the way it goes bitch Monty mole The cutest actually bitch your Wario that he's fatter than Monty. No, he isn't yes. He's just Italian No, if you took Wario's oh hold on. I'm not a fat. I'm the power. I'm fucking if was that Guido tweet you had athletic I'm a natural athlete. I've always been a natural athlete

Which you know, I know you're mocking fat Italians, but I am a natural As you do also say that it's like a Mediterranean thing. It is. It truly is morbidly obese It's completely out of shape minutes from a heart attack Yeah, but that's because of the dick pills not because of held together with scar tissue and blood That's right, yeah, don't forget wing stop Let me tell you something. I love taking dick pills. Yeah. Yeah, we don't even have a read coming I was gonna say I didn't think we had them this month. No, yeah, none this month Yeah, listen, we love taking all kinds of dick pills actually so fuck you take that you motherfuckers pay if you want us to say your name, bitch

Except thank you for also, you know, whatever. Yeah, right He turned it off man, it's embarrassing. Yeah, we should turn this off I can't I'm I'm not as talented as you guys at talking and playing at the same time. Yeah We're talking about it. So what should I get tennis? Oh, I love that shit too on the we Mario tennis or on Looking through Amazon for things to Purchase for the Nintendo we and then we'll just talk about them on the show. You think we are that's Yeah, I have a nice fucking switch I just got smashed to yeah, and I can't wait. I haven't played it yet because I've been you know busy

I've been traveling shots out there when they came at the DC to that shit fucking rocked. Yeah, we already mentioned that I think didn't We know we just I think we talked about it before the show It was fucking tight But now alas back to reality back to this fucking job Punching the fuck I rod we watched saving private Ryan again. Oh, yeah What's that? Did were you rooting for? Uh The here not the Waffen SS but the German soldiers who were just in the regular conscripted on the regular

Uh-huh, cuz they were just caught up in the wrong shit does suck. Yeah Well, no, I think I really only a real villain in the movie is the Jewish character the wind Howard It's not a coward He's the guy that can't that can't fight. No, this guy's not Jewish. Oh Oh, oh the Brooklyn guy is Jewish. No Adam Goldberg plays the Jewish character. Yeah, who gets stabbed by the Nazi

Oh, cuz they he saves him, right? No, the other guy doesn't save him The other guy just hears him being stabbed upstairs and doesn't go Sits in the hallway and what well, that's fucked up dude. It's an allegory for how the Western world Failed to act and didn't save their Jewish friends and that makes sense. That is true. They did sit on their hands for quite a long time Yeah, FDR dude, that motherfucker was shady. You know how Bush, you know how Bush did 9-11 FDR did Pearl Harbor. You think so? Yeah, yeah, FDR definitely as an excuse to lock up Yep So jealous how they fucking flexed their how high they could kick with their karate

Mm-hmm. You think a man in a fucking wheelchair wants to see that all the time. Yeah, he's a total hater He doesn't so guess what every fucking Chinese and Japanese motherfucker Mm-hmm getting to these fucking camps Chinese dirty knees. Look at these don't touch these Mm-hmm. The Chinese Japanese dirty knees dirty knees. Look at these look at these Yeah, and it was like you made you made Like you don't touch these to me. Don't touch these definitely had a problem because you had a grabbing problem Oh Not even there's no rhyme involved the women just told me just made me don't touch these we can get a garden frowning like Nick

Stop touching their A baby with a hard-ass dick frowning Don't touch their pussy No, this and then okay, you can touch it, but what do we say about sharing? Okay, you have to let all the other little boys touch a girl's pussy when you touch it That would be fucked up if that's how sex worked. Yeah, like I fuck well That's probably how it happens a lot of the time is I fuck someone and then sex when we yeah We fuck you guys get them after me. I'm a sexy second. No, I'm a sex worker. Yeah, so I work work and I have sex

I work that pussy over. I'm a sex worker. I'll spend all my day in the sex factory. I Love Lucy that I love Lucy chocolate team, but it's me eating too many pussy Lucy. Why are you covered in? Ricky that's none of your business I'm a sex worker And you have to respect it as a real job dumb bitch who lives next door talk me into it Ethel that down the whore Ethel Have you tried watching that show before Tried watching bits and pieces. She's really annoying. Yeah. No, it's not I didn't like how annoying

It's like all this shit. They're like one of the greatest shows of all time. It's like bitch. There were four shows Yeah, right, right. Yeah, I'm sure it was better than guess the number Journalist George Brock Maya the 15th will be competing against Rosemary Clooney and guess that number that literally is dealer No deal is people opening briefcases with no writer for national report George my esteem. Thanks for joining us There wasn't there was a fucking show there was guess who's lying. Yeah, what was that shit called? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Some guy just pretended to be something he wasn't boss a man who needs no introduction Bruce Chainsmith A confirmed bachelor He just can't put the ladies away. Can you Georgie good afternoon Georgie boy

Oh Georgie when you ever gonna settle down with one of these days when I get tired of dancing And all the girls are like And he's a prettiest guy. Yeah, he's gorgeous. He's wearing he works out in blush. Yeah, okay today's top question Ape rabble rouser Martin Luther King recently given a speech 60s no, that sounds more like a fucking 40s or 50s show. Well, I don't know whenever I love Lucy. Yeah, that's the 50s. Yeah, the idea that Martin Luther King is alive I'm an ape on television I guess that did happen. Yeah, probably yeah, probably King of the jungle. Yeah, King came what? Oh

Shit, yeah, they got it. They got what they got Trump brothers at Atlantic Terminal great. Let's do it. Let's skip our show and go to the best by Tell you what I'll hit I'll hit over the best Bible you guys get the show started I'll go get this the game and bring it back here and play it. Okay, okay? And then when the show's over you guys let me know. This sounds like a good plan Should we start or what? Lucy desi definitely fucked around Ornés

What like desi fuck his wife or is this guy a closet? That's good. Yeah, I like that desi also a type of a desi our word instead of desi Arnaz I find like some sort of Puerto Rican And she's like she's like god and here we go two plus two equals four Lucy, you've got some explaining If it's two how does two twos make four I love Lucy. I love Michael. I love kitty. I love chocolate. I love mr. Lamb. I love couch Just have playing music

horrifically just leading the band He's in a band he's the band he plays triangle in the kazoo Is he our word everyone He's coming home from work like he's just all tired he comes to the door and then just takes his helmet off and throws it on the couch Oh, it's so funny that Twitter account that was like come town character generator. Yeah retard desi Roll with some of them on there cuz it's like some of them are good some of them are I could do it's been a lot of time With yeah, absolutely. Some of them look fun. Yeah retarded wharf. Yeah, it was that on there was on there Oh, that's great Sesame Street. I like our Sesame Street. Yeah

We should just have a wheel, you know of like two different things spin the wheel Mm-hmm, and then try to do it. Yeah, that should be our TV show You can identify how a system works. So that means that the system is bad. You know, what do you mean? Well, what that us he's talking about us. Oh, I don't think I mean, I don't think that's why we're back It's all building blocks. Mm-hmm So, yeah, you figured out the fundamentals of the show how hard do you think it would be to get a lady in the 50s to cheat on her husband? Very easy. They did all the time. Do you ever see that show revolutionary get like Revolution Road or Revolutionary Road? Yeah, it's it's not good. It's not good

But yeah, it's all about how like, you know, the man went to work and then the women were like is that based on a book? Prisoners and horny is that based on a book? It seems like it. It seems one of those movies It seems like it was based on a book that was probably good. Yeah, sucked ass. Yeah, actually, no it is based on a book because Someone a friend of mine read it. Wait, is that the one Tom Hanks is in? No, that's road to perdition That is that is a friend of mine read it and said that There's this one character that's gonna get nominated for Best Supporting Actor before they even Put it in development and then that was the Michael Pick or Michael Sheen character

Yeah, who's only in that one scene, but everybody's sitting around in the house having gay sex with each other Not realizing that it's madness. Yeah, I'm crazy because I have gay What was his deal is that he was good at math and he went crazy for having gay sex That is what happened here in a research lab all day long when I could be out having gay sex in bathrooms on the New Jersey That's literally what happened to that code breaking guy. Yeah, like invented computers Oh, yeah, you gotta recited when he's not him. He was another gay guy John Nash. Yeah, no the code breaker the Cut his cock off they erased him from history chemically castrated they cut his cock off and they gave him tits Yeah

As a punishment like Iran. Yeah, yeah, which is fucked up They would turn you into a girl if you were gay and if they found out you were doing karate They'd fucking surgically If I give you a bowl haircut Do you think they they was it just Japanese in internment camps or did they racially like get some Korean? Oh, there had to have been a couple. Yeah, some mistakes Yeah, yeah There's no way I'm telling you you got the wrong guy

There's no way they just did that correctly in the 40s Yeah, that was not done like delicately Yeah, and what's his face is just some poor Chinese guy that was like, you know what today's the day I try sushi I just come do something different general souls every day for 35 years It is literally general so yeah, yeah Shots out to the Jenny. I think general so was actually like a Jewish guy, right? No, like it's an American nice try You saw that document. I didn't watch it. Of course. I saw the documentary. What is what's the truth behind it? Just some random fucking Just some guy made it. Yeah, and like there isn't any general. So there's no general. It's actually if you listen to them say it

They're saying genitals chicken. Mm-hmm. Oh genitals Oh, genitals chicken Never ever heard a Chinese person say general so's chicken. That's right. Oh, general's chicken Fuck they're making you eat rooster cock. Yeah. Yeah, just so that's what a Chinese man's penis Really? Wow, like a general so's chicken. They spread the rumor that it was small when the truth is it's actually delicious Delicious little nuggets right because they don't want us So

Oh, and when they have too many guys in China, they chop the cocks off and sell it here China found out that they have these abnormally delicious cocks Like Westerners, you know, they were building boats to go all over the world eating anything that didn't taste like dirt Right, and they're like go to heavens Matthew eat this Chinaman's balls Delicious all at Panda Express the Chinese Started the rumor that their dicks are small interesting look at them. That's their glorious penises And they're bad if there's too many They cannot find out

That is actually delicious pieces of chicken Frat chicken a dick And the sticky sweet sauce Yep. Yeah, they come honey glaze. Yeah, they're so oh, so the sauce the sauce is always on there. Oh, there's It's like like six or seven stacked up nuggets naturally with the cock sauce stuff. Yeah, and I'll tell you what What's that? I'll tell you in four minutes Oh

Can't wait Damn, that would be awesome. I would want a hundred percent Super black people Yeah, let's hear you out and what do you think is that you have the floor or black people melee? It's just black Friday videos I change store here apparently this was the biggest black Friday of all motherfucking time Really, I would assume not because people shop online now, but I think online counting for counting for online. Yeah Well, that makes sense then. Yeah, I ask you this. Do they ever get around to counting the crows?

Right, you know, I was just talking about this last night with Dasha Because I always thought it was county crows the county crows like a like there was a county with a lot of crows in it Then I found I was counting crows I was like, that's a way worse. Mr. Jones is dick Jones penis They say he's good. Really good. I Want to suck his penis and get fucked by it I'm Mr. Gay

six Is that the killers that's mr. Brightside you can't don't don't They rip off a join that's She was sucking my dick Calling my dick is real small and I'm fucking gay. I'm fucking gay It was only a dick Gay I'll never be straight again man this penis hurts my ass I just want to come my pants. I am fucking gay

Mr. Gay Come on Adam. I thought Brightside gay guy. No, man. I'm mr. Gay sex. Yeah, I'm mr. Anyway, I think it's fucked you guys shouldn't make fun of that band because they're the band of my city Las Vegas, Nevada Aren't they Mormon? The lead singer is I think Mormon They meant panic You have to please show respect to panic A bunch of dicks that's much that guy from panic where the dicks go

Yeah, I don't know panic at the disco song off the top my head. That's the one Oh god damn door sugar. We're sucking off penis. No, that's a No, I'm having fucking gay That's a So get this Donkey Kong country. Yes, get them all goodbye get every video game if your dick is big I Haven't heard anything about Donkey Kong, but it's probably fun. The switch is some good shit, man I'm a big dick. I'm a big motherfucking fan of the damn switch. I

Wanted I want to buy a big-ass TV from just my room now. I've decided that's what I did. I know I got jealous But I want a swinging-ass wall mount. I want to swing that shit around Yeah, but I don't give a fuck bro, I also don't have the kind of space you have to play with it looks like a dentist's office Yeah, yeah, so I'm about the root canal that pussy. That's what I'll tell the girls. Hmm. Maybe I'll get a dental chair, too You're about to fuck girls and then like watch gay porn on your yeah, just stay hard. No, yeah, don't worry about what's on the TV Boxes, what's that this shit for this much? It's like cardboard boxes I don't know. It's some shit that they can build shit or something. It's like circuits. I think or some shit trash Yeah, it's like you build

controllers, I think Or like a robot exoskeleton out of cardboard or some shit like that. Why I think so You got this what pro controller? I got a knockoff. I didn't pay $60. What's the pro controller for just like you You're it feels more substantial in your hand for playing what like smash smash Mario Kart Mario tennis, whatever you want. Do they have sports games on switch? You play like 2k on switch fuck that dude. I mean you're multi-platform First of all, I got every motherfucking. They have so many goddamn accessories for this look This is the poke ball throw it at the TV

I Break your TV. Yeah Now I guess their strategy for this is just go like way too many accessories. Yeah, which is good Yeah, I'll buy whatever dude So I used to have all the accessories for NES dude. I had the duck hunter gun Do you have that glove? You have the power glove? I didn't have the power glove. I didn't either I guess I just like but I did have the mouse for Mario paint I did too, which was sick and I used to make beats on Mario paint make songs on there

Stuff like that is that the kind of beach you shout out to Mario paint girl not about myself One of the only people we support on that's right. One of the only one of the only artists we support. Yeah, her shit's great Just Adam wearing like 70-year-old Adam and then like a just a tall and extremely tall black woman comes up and grabs his cross you guys his penis is so small It's like It's like a white Caribbean woman he's digs so small Topless, but you can't see your titties the camera just

That's a great commercial man, they should hire you to art direct Well, I've been laughing I'm gonna start my own clothing line called gay sex Milan Yeah, it's just you know like women walking up and down a catwalk real quick lights flashing zooming in and out on the catwalk And then just like a 40 year old man with like a ten thousand dollar haircut You know the fancy designer frames sitting like this, you know with his legs crossed over completely in a chair at that far end of Like a stage and he goes get sexy It's all clothes for women to Yeah, I love it. I love it. Okay sex

I've just been laughing about and I don't know if I've mentioned on the show. I've told you guys about it before but Terminator, but it's Arnold and he's like come with me if you want to be gay come with me if I'm gay With me if you want to be gay I don't want to have gay sex. My brain is a Cybe and it is a fucking machine. You can in the future. You cannot be gay My brain is a t18 16 flashlights It is shaped like a man's ass though, don't worry. I've been reprogrammed to give you a pleasure John Connor Just John Connor is like listen, I'm just sending myself back a gay sex robot. We're gonna die anyway I might as well be gay shit

Yeah, yeah, beautiful in the future your son finds out that he's gay He sent me back in the past To explain it to him now. He's just crying What was it was John Connor his own dad or something? No No, he's not his own dad the bodyguard from the first movie fuck Sarah Connor and becomes his dad Oh, the twitchy guy. Yeah, his friend is his dad Oh, right. That didn't make any fucking sense. That's tight. If if one of you guys were my dad are both your dad Well, the fact that he's his own dad proves that like no matter what all of those events will happen

So no matter like what you know the movie is always somebody going back in time But then the shit still happens anyways because nothing ever changes. Oh unless he kills himself. We can't yeah Maybe you kill himself. The only terminator I remember is the one with the German bitch That big titted Austrian. Oh, yeah, Christina Richie Christina Hendricks. No Damn, I want to I want Christina Christina Cristana Logan. Oh, yeah, I definitely look which one was that T1 Yeah, that was the weird one that it was like remember when all TVs were like fucked up like and everything looked fake Like smoothing or whatever the fuck that shit's called what?

Do you remember when like movies looked horrible on TVs for a while? You know I'm saying damn No, that's fake That's fake. We're looking at her titties. No, this is from Terminator 3. That's cool. I'm in I'm in on that You know, I was looking at yesterday. Oh, hell. Yes What's that? Oh a man's penis this this pic there inches from your face No, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. A watercolor painting of a man's penis. It took you no

Please shut up Kisses it and puts it next to his bed. No No, that's not what I was looking at yesterday. What was it Adam? The picture of Amanda Seyfried from the Fappening. Well, I'll tell you what you can bet on what he's saying The number one premier sports book number one website that's ever existed bet the si.com Has been in business over 20 years 25 now winners suck them off. It doesn't matter if you're woke racist White black will suck your cock. No show up to the website. You play bet win, baby They got an easy to use mobile playing interface also known as an app you download it on your phone

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Mm-hmm, and you try out their live in-game wagering. Yeah, and if he bets correctly Maybe he can see these titties of this woman that was in that one-terminator movie that sucked dick But right now, which one? Absolutely not Yeah, what else is there Connor was James Cameron by the way, if I told you motherfuckers I Told you motherfuckers take the Ravens and we almost beat the bitch-ass chiefs They covered so you would have won bitch almost, you know what I'd say the problem was lack of defense So, yeah, no, actually I said defense wins championships defense wins championships. You heard it here first Anyways, I always say that bit the SI offers odds on pretty much everything else

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Including Ian five dance Bonnie McFarlane Bill Burr David Kross Chappelle Dave Chappelle Billy Crystal In black Ted dancing in black Gregory will be here We will resurrect will pull it be playing Mario Party. Yeah, yeah, it's all She's the one dick Benjamin. Hmm. Oh is that George Christmas George George? After that Georgie Christmas becoming the best the Georgie Christmas Yeah, so bet the SI No, we actually should do that. I agree. Yeah, play Mario part set up Mario part

You can gamble on who's going to win with only 15% of the pot going to us Yeah, you will gamble by give it you actually it'll be through our Venmo's Send money to stop 69 on Venmo. Here's how it works. You bet $20 you let's say you want it's four of us playing It's me Adam stop and Ian and you think stop is gonna win it all you can bet $20 on stop 15% of your bet $15 goes to me and Adam and stop and five goes to the pot and then someone else bets You know somebody says oh, I think he is gonna win They spent $20 the 15 distributed us five five five the other five goes in the pot Turns out Adam wins no one bet on it the additional $10 that goes right. That's right. That's directly

I agree to that. That's right. And if it looks like actually we're losing whatever would sometimes the game But just shut off some of the will have power failures. And in that point, there's no refund So listen bet with us, but if you know if you want to definitely be paid out You bet with bet the SI. Yeah, they pay out winners or you could go to come town Mario party bets dot com Or again, just donate direct or not donate but pay directly into my Venmo and I'll make sure the money Yeah, actually. Yeah, if you if you don't know we do a premium episode every week at patreon.com Slash come town and if you sign up you're guaranteed entry into the Mario party sweepstakes

Which are the details something that is real and we will do yeah the details will be announced shortly Just some of just some of the details the details will be announced Adams dickedly. Yeah, I love dude Love the the patrons where it's like if I reach a hundred dollars. I promise I will draw myself as Knuckles the kids. Yeah Those are goals. I will clean out my garage. Yeah What's the promo code promo code so if you're looking to be in the sports book, which is where we love the sports book So when you sign up make sure to use promo code come 120 that we're talking about bet the SI now just to be clear Everyone see you and 120 so they know we sent you and when you sign up

You've got some options you can just play and cash out or you can take the bonus bucks Which is I get in a casino comp up front before you play at the table I love it, you know, that's like getting let you kiss the dice Maybe smell a little piece of that fine Vegas pussy For you to lose any on the craps table. That's what that's the secret. That's why seizures are so good Uh-huh, they ever there's a bunch of bitches that they just get you get the dice in there, but she's welcome Do you get to touch the bitches casino? That was actually a you know where you get to touch the bitches

That was actually my my father's shop for some time. Yeah touching bitches but being a dice pussy holder He would suck the dice out of women's pussies. Yeah with his ass. Yeah, that's just what it's like growing up in Vegas crazy You know, it's crazy. Did you know Siegfried and Roy? I knew their house. What about I knew where I was Are you sure you didn't grow up in mosque Vegas, which is Spanish for more gay guys? Well, yeah, this is where you're from. Are you sure mosque? I'm not sure Yeah, I bet you're not well Let's get a casino comp up front before you play to tables as a rollover requirement, but it's free cash Free mother if you're gonna be in the sportsbook, which is where we love the fucking sports

If you use promo code CUM 120 up to a thousand dollars You're gonna give you 60% bonus cash, which we turn a thousand into 1600 to play with like my penis That's bet the si.com come 120. Let's start the show. Let's start the fucking show Let's start the month. All right. Welcome to come town. Oh, my penis. Yeah, so Christina Locan's Twitter image is her breastfeeding her infant. Nice. Is it titty out there? No, no fucking on the second through the bikini top Yeah, respect to that guy. I respect any baby that sucks titties. It looks like this bitch's tits got smaller after the pregnancy Can you imagine being her? I would I would kill myself. I would yeah for sure. What the fuck Why is that guy's penis out, man? I don't like this video

We are free of the frogs and crows. We are free of the Belgians So that looks exactly like your dick. It is not does not look exactly like I think that guy's dick might be bigger than you No, actually, it's not it's smaller. Thank you. No, Adam. Is that guy's dick the same size as Stavs? Um I actually would say that Stavs dick is bigger than that guy's dick. Thank you. Yeah, and I'm not being like thank you I'm just being honest. You're being an objective warrior for truth. I've seen your dick. Thanks, man Your dick is surprisingly not as bad as you make it sound. Thanks, man. I keep expectations. I'm not saying it's good It's not good

But no, I don't I really don't want to see this guy's dick anymore, man. Honestly Is that is that Boris Johnson Of the Belgians and Who did he send that to I don't know what an awful dick to have that's a bad. Yeah, that's a really rough dick. Yeah At least my dick is smooth So your dad's taking the divorce. Well, why does he go a willy pouch? What do you guys think you're back on Twitter, huh? You're loving it. You're back in I am you're posting for now Bobby Kelly would like to FaceTime I can't do it now. Sorry Robert FaceTime. I'm into the pod dude. Okay

We're doing come town Bobby Bobby we're recording the show Oh, you're always invited open invite. Yeah come net come tomorrow Turn your volume up Good. We were just looking at a guy's penis on the internet. It was really small. Yeah, I got a Dyson Yeah, I'm all about gear Bobby you're a tech guy Bobby, what do you think? What do you think about this? Is that working can you see the man's penis that we were looking at can you see this guy's dick? Oh, hey max

Yes, Bobby's. Hey max What do you think about that? Merry Christmas, buddy. Yeah, that is adorable. Well Oh, no, sorry max almost made his podcast debut on come town. Hey maxy Bobby's Bobby's FaceTiming with with stav and his son just thinks he's taking a selfie Hey, buddy Good to see you. Wow. We've had a child on come town guys. All right. Well, tell the tell that baby. We got to do our jobs. All right. Yeah All right, I'll talk call you back soon, buddy Bobby come on the show. All right. Bye, dude. Hey, buddy

Oh, my beautiful father Robert Kelly. Yeah Damn, I missed that. Yeah, I bet you guys are pretty jealous. Oh, who's this calling me barack obama? Yeah I'm gay Let me be clear. I'm ryan shut and I'm gay shot and I am gay And I am barack obama obama not now And recording the podcast who's calling me now the ghost of senator john mccain I I just wanted to say I'm very disappointed that they're letting muslims up here

heaven which I fought for I've lost the use of my arms fighting for heaven and uh To see you just go to shit like this Frankly quite disappointing You think john mccain's mad bush is just plowing barbara in front of him in heaven just driving his wheelchair in the repose Yeah, they got that wheelchair fucking decked out with a little fucking dildos on each handle He's just bending over. He's driving the dildos in like a battering ram You think in heaven you go back to like the hottest version of you or you're just like the old dying gross

I think you get to choose You get to choose. You need to switch back and forth So actually you get to be a baby and you get to fuck women Because you're like i'm an adult man. I'm gonna be a baby forever. I'm a baby and I get to eat pussy as a baby That'd be pretty funny. I mean, there's there's no concept of consent in heaven. No, no, no, no They can't resist the baby. You can't that's the thing. No one a baby can't rape If you think about it, I I guess so that's a loophole in heaven. You choose your baby You choose your baby form and then you get the fuck as many as much pussy as you

I get that. I guess Baby's fucking grown That was a hilarious announcement friend of the show Kevin Hart Is backed out of the Oscars Oh, yeah, we're a pro Kevin Hart. We are pro Nick Cannon. Absolutely. Have Nick Cannon host him actually dude I'm a bit on the record saying I've always been my low guy kicked off patreon stuff. You probably think that's pretty good Uh, do I yeah, fuck Milo. I don't care Adam you're probably on board with that happening too with who Milo. What did he do?

Did he like do something violent? Yeah, he was he was being sassy. Oh, he's being too gay No, he literally they didn't cite anything that he did wrong. It's just that he's associated with the proud boys Well, no, then I'm against that. Okay. And uh, Gavin got kicked off youtube today But the proud boys have been labeled as like, I mean, it's a matter of opinion, but yeah the splc Yeah, listen. First of all Milo is a countryman. Okay. My greek blood runs thicker than anything. What's his name, dude? Milo Yiannopoulos. All right Milo Yiannopoulos That's it. That's it black people Milo Yiannopoulos That's so funny

Milo Yiannopoulos, I don't even honestly know what Milo, I just know he's a troll. What are his even his beliefs? He was like an alt light. Yeah, I think that was the movement he was associated with. Yeah, no, I don't even remember I mean, I can't it's like I just knew him being a gay troll. No, he'd be like, you know, like trans people are just Yeah, he's you know, like yeah, just anti trans stuff. Like I'm not calling you by the anti pronoun It is like he hates palestinians. Oh, okay. He wanted to be like a gay and coulter. Yeah, this is kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah That's it. No Palestine. He's just for Jews. And then he's like, I can say it. I get fucked in the ass by black guys Which is a pretty funny like rhetorical strategy. He married a black guy, did he? Yeah, so he's getting his ass cheeks worked over Even though I think he was against gay marriage too. So I don't know how that works. Those guys are hilarious

He's like a gay people getting married. He's like, what's next they're gonna adopt dogs And be like straight people's disgust About like, you know, like some like a wop comedian being like They got women turning into men men turning into women now. You got gay guys wearing Ladies clothes. It's like, what's next gay women? What do you put on a fucking button down shirt? What do they got next with boots? We have a gay woman next You're kissing a fucking other woman, but you got you're not wearing lipstick neither. Come on. The fuck is this shit? He just

Can't even conceive of it She thought she got a fucking short hair. Oh, maybe you cut your hair short. What she got next a gay woman, perhaps Yeah, folks, I mean we're living in strange times and I'll tell you when my daughter looks at me My beautiful my beautiful fucking daughter Um, what do we got fucking? Um, but yeah, we we will be hosting the Oscars now three of us Kathy Griffin said that uh, that a woman should host it. What really? Um, she came out and said that she was uh Facing federal charges for doing a bad joke that picture how much yeah, how much like it's how fucked up

It is that she got in trouble for telling a bad joke But then also that kevin hart is bad. Yeah. Yeah, he's been tweeted years ago. Okay, and then yeah It's time for it's a girl's chance to host the Oscars Um, there could be a woman didn't would be goldberg do it literally who gives a shit Yeah, it should be someone named oscar That's true. That would make a lot more sense. Oscar from the Oscar de la joya Oscar fuentes oscar admire the just the car Yeah, just have that on stage oscar marina mobility. Yeah, I I knew there's a guy um

That I lived two doors down Growing up oscar's a good named oscar and I tried to see his son's penis when I was four Yeah, maybe you tried to see his son's penis. Yeah, what do you mean you Stop stop his parents family didn't have much money. So you have to go to school dressed only in venetian blinds Stand in the middle of the street peering through his blinds costume and this man's son's penis So maybe that guy maybe that guy could be that guy oscar that guy could host Just as a as an I'm sorry for what you did. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I mean, I didn't see I just tried man We should tell dan nine and he can host the oscar's if he gets

Bottom surgery Reach out to him as if he gets a pussy and be like look we we want you but we want a woman Dan dan will get surgery. That should be like a shrewd Hollywood move of dance is to come out as a weird trans. Yeah. Yeah, because then he's like, you know Then he'll be like think he'll be more in demand or something. A lot of people. A lot of people remember the trans movement from call me katelyn Uh, I say call me whatever you want as long as you don't do it on my samsung galaxy Thank you nine and thank you. What is the nine god up to these days, dude? Oh, he's crushing it, dude He did a dentist son's birthday

Okay, five thousand a night a cell lounge Yeah, somebody pointed out To me in like the mentions, but they're like, yeah, what is the acela lounge? It's like just another Sucks. It's not like the united club area. Right. It's like he thinks it's like the admiral club Yeah, the delta sky lounge. No, they have a little spot where you but yeah, it's just great cello people It's just a bench that's cordoned off. Oh, it's not even a lounge. No, no, there's some fake walls. I think I think so

But it sucks dick. I mean, it's still in fucking Penn Station Hanging out in Penn Station in the lounge. I'm actually I think I'm anti trains now again. Yeah, why? I don't know. I love taking the trains trains and brains trains and brains, baby They call me the midnight zombie Really? Yeah Sucking midnight cruiser What song is that midnight cruiser? Oh

I've never heard it steely dan Sucky dick. Yeah, how about that? That would be a good band sucky dick. Yeah What are some other steely dan songs? Oh, there's that one kids about the kids are all right. Is that It someone fucked me then they ate my asshole filled with calm. There you go I will never have sex with a woman just a man dirty work Oh, yeah, I don't remember how that goes Everybody's sucking off my penis suck your dirty hog Oh, yeah

I got a piece of my cock banananana they make a star fox for switch No, but they fucking should Damn star fox rocked. Yeah, I suck dick at it. I'm really not that good at video games. Yeah I'm probably better than you are, but no, I'm better than you but You're good at first person shooters, aren't you? Yeah, that's the only thing I really play though. I'm good at sports games I just played like 2k and madden. No, you suck, bitch. You play too gay too. Yeah, that is true Be gay sports Being gay, I'm being gay. I'm being gay

Um, yeah, I missed the days where I was good at sports games, but my little brother's just so much better at them I just don't have the finesse dude. Really? I don't have it in my fingertips Some people are built for things. So I was I was literally never good at them I thought I was okay at madden until it went online then the first time I'd ever played Yeah, you just gotta be I'm like, oh, I don't even know how to play the game. You got your pussy hole absolutely worked over. Yeah, yeah, yeah Uh, because that's all those people do me. I know But it was like a medium. I love it. In fact, I've been bad at most games like when I first started I got better at first person shooters because I would just play him online all the time

Right, but first time I try to play anything online. I'm usually terrible at it Did you ever play rocket league the soccer car game? No, it's like you play soccer, but ever like it's four cars It sounds like it's for babies. No, it's not that game sort of sucks. It sounds like it's for babies I just agree. I think it's pretty cool. You're coming through with the fucking baby games immediately You guys ever play lego and in joggo. It's for adults. Do you guys know that? Do you ever play the game where there's like lego indiana jones? There's a farm. Yeah, I put the star worst one There's like a thing like something you press a button

It goes moon and you have to pick which animal says it. Yeah, that sounds cool Adam have you ever played that game? Which game? It's a game where there's you press a button and it doesn't sound. Yeah, you pull you pull a cord and it spins around You have to pick which oh, yeah, the cow goes That's kind of that seems the concept you'd like yeah, yeah, that's a good game or like maybe you get a shape and there's like a hole Uh-huh. Sometimes you have to put you have to decide which shape goes into the hole That's you know that's they can get complicated. That seems pretty stimulating like the way you stimulate my

Uh-huh glands Yeah, I play I mean I play more mature stuff than that wall ball Someone fucked me smear the goal balls for a chinese guy's Damn, it was so funny. We were just playing a game called smear the queer. I don't remember that game You know, it was just like it was like uh, everyone had to tackle one person who was the designated queer That's why I got tackled all the time I

It would be funny if it was like instead of smear the queer, but it was like it was smearing like slandering the queer Yeah, or talking shit smear the queer. I heard me as a bitch and you have to like cover them in the clear How about that smear the queer, huh boys? How about queer the queer? It's so psycho kids are crazy. Hey Michael. How was school? Uh, it was pretty fun. We all got together and tried to sex out the gay kid What? Yeah, we all sucked his dick and fucked him

But he's gay You know like you kids back in my day, we went steady with each other Two gay guys would go steady I get into too much heavy petting My friend was telling me last night Uh that in middle school He asked the gay black kid to be his valentine and the kid said yes and he's like no hell no I'm not going to be your valentine. You're gay and then his three like gang member cousins like

Saw him at a mcdonald's and like tried to kick his ass and the mcdonald's people Kicked them out of the store and then he had a runaway from them into a blockbuster They followed him in they were like throwing dvds on the ground and stuff Wow, you never get our gay cousin hopes up like that. It is kind of nice. Yeah, very nice that they stuck up for their cousin like that Yeah, I mean that is very mean to do to the gay kid. It's totally mean although expected for, you know, a certain age demographic like No, that's like That's too far I don't know how to get him up. No, no, I mean no not beating him up the like like

Yeah, telling a gay kid. Do you want to go to prom? Yeah? Yeah, and then you like psych. I think it was like like queer Do you like be my valentine or something? He was like what and he's like never mind. He's like psych. You're gay or something Was your friend gay? It's a very mean thing. Is your friend gay? No, he's not gay. Are you sure? Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure. I think you're friends gay. No, no, no, no, he's not gay That was fun. It is pretty mean, dude. No, they forget the guy's gay Let's ask him out and then say to psych. Yeah, I gotta beat him up I was nominated for uh, I hope we get to do that today. I think as a prank. Exactly I think as a prank I was nominated for junior prom king

against one dude who was like a Drug dealer and another dude who was a gay black guy and the gay black guy just waxed. Yeah That's I lost got king and he was just like crying and stuff I lost I lost mr. Polly The award for polyamory. Yeah, mr. Polly. I didn't I didn't do enough food bonding. The most polio string cheese Who ate the most live parents the award for mr. String cheese It's just the only name on the ballot is mom's a problem holding his hand

I'm crying and eating two string cheese as well. It's going on stop Yeah, just running the stairs to the stage break I'd take a breather just smashing through the stage like a street shark Yeah, your feet are like where the rest of the room is Just barreling through the floor boards do the street shark you guys said I could never do it And the teacher's like what the fuck is this all the ballot? Yeah, it's just technically so fat. He's retarded and we had to do it. We'd lose our funding

Mom's just holding your hand You're writing up the Just crying and eating string cheese Uh, no, mr. Polly was the coolest kid in school and I lost it to a gay black man as well Yeah, although I think he was in the closet, but the guy responded like he just won miss america. He was like crying Yeah, someone I think his friend gave him flowers. How about I felt good for it? Say it again. Nice. America. Yeah, there she is. Miss piss america She has sex monkey style

Oh, that's monkey style. I don't know Hang from a tree Okay, I would love it if I could wrap my dick around a tree branch and then eat pussy upside down like a monkey would Yes, absolutely That would be awesome. Like a yep with a tail. I'm sorry. Would you would you have a tail like that? Yeah? No, would you be would it be your legs or your tail that you're on the I forget already? I don't know what I'm talking about Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, I was never able to climb a tree in my life. Yeah, even as a youth I was too scared of heights

And fat. Yeah I hated climbing fences. Oh, I you know what? I loved climbing shit as a kid. I was definitely a climber I'll go to the tops of fucking trees. I'm like, Nick get down Fuck you Fuck you You know, let me touch the little girl's pussies. I'm staying up here. This is my house Shut up But I want to touch their pussies. Nick stop touching their pussies

Yeah, I could not do that shit. Yeah, I could not climb. Yeah, because of gravity No, because my um I didn't want to his penis is too small. It was too big actually. No, it's too small My little baby penis. The doctor's like looking at your penis through a magnifying glass and he's like He's never going to be able to climb Your mom is like crying. Yeah, check again. That's what my dad is doing again. Yeah, yeah, the doctor's like I'm gonna write you a prescription. It's just like string cheese. Yeah Yeah, the idea of you just smashing through the stage

Because all the steps break as you step on each one you just go right back down to the ground level It's just right here like belly. Yeah, just smashing through all the boards. Thank you everyone. I'm so happy Mom, I did it There you go, mr. Stavros Did I not a girl did either your parents ever have you in karate very briefly? I took a couple taekwondo classes But it was pretty fucking boring. Yeah, I was that was my thing. I remember like begging to go to kung fu And then going like twice. Yeah and be like what the fuck. Why aren't we smashing? Yeah, right? I know

I just stayed in the back and like fucked around on the punching bag and they wanted to do like dances I'm not doing that Yeah, dude the first couple fucking classes are all just like Going height and just fucking stretching and basically yeah, that's just you get to throw like two kicks Yeah, fuck that fuck fuck classes of anything. Uh, I'm doing that shit straight on. Yeah What is that like? Yeah, it's much more fun to just go pick fights with the retarded kids Yeah, because they can fight they're strong as hell Yeah, and you could ding their fucking head off the curb. You don't have to worry about it pops right back up

So true you might actually even out their head shape. Yeah Did you guys know any kids with fucked up like dented heads dented heads? Yeah, I knew a couple of those motherfuckers with weird little oblong ass heads. Oh, yeah I mean there's people with like weird shaped heads, but they had a fucking I don't know about like a dent I got a friend who's got a square ass head and then I found out it was because he was born in the ussr And he wasn't given a pillow when he was like a baby And so like the the like he was sleeping on a hard surface and it just flattened out the back I felt so bad Lego ass head mother fucker. I felt so bad for making fun of him

Like look at your big ass dome ass head. And then I found out it was because literally They didn't have that shit. They didn't have pillows for babies just because Adam's penis was useful. Yeah Yeah, that is so true. Actually. Now that I think about it. Now that we think about it I'm so fucking true Did you buy an extra like gig like an extra card for this? No, I didn't I need to because I already ran out of space Because I've been downloading so much fucking shit. Do you download the games? I just go buy them. I've downloaded a couple games. Yeah Dude, they're fucking the ps4 like I even buying the CDs you still have to download it's still like it ran out of a tear. Yeah

Uh, no, you're out of a tear bite. Yeah, I just got a tear bite one, too Yeah, no, I ran I have like seven games and it's like out of space. That sucks so much fucking kawaii What fucking Gran Turismo takes up like 150 Because it's all like yeah photo realistic for the Italian countryside. Yeah Damn Maybe you should move to Italy. Should I? Yeah suck dickily I can't wait to be like I hope I get to be a Porsche millionaire at some point Yeah, dude, or you could be like Joey in that episode of friends

Which uh, he just buys a Porsche jacket Uh, and tells girls he has a Porsche. We could do that right now. I don't give a shit about telling girls I have a Porsche. I've won an actual Porsche It's the ultimate, uh Rich guy car The Porsche. Yeah. No, dude. There's cooler cars in that shit. No, that's that's for rich assholes No, dude, what about um What do rappers whip in these days? I don't know they were obsessed with like Maybachs for a while

No, it's it's not Maybachs now. The name is What's a rave? Uh, I don't know a Rolls Royce maybe Rolls Royces are dumb. They're just like living rooms that you can ride that shit. Yeah, I want that. I want to be comfy, bitch They're like just a really nice living room Yeah, there's a British guy that comes with that sucks your cock. You remember I had the baby said a uh a Rolls Royce Oh, yeah, for like one of those. Oh, yeah

Yeah, yeah, was it cool? Oh, it's a it is a wraith. It's a Rolls Royce wraith. Yeah Rolls Royce wraith. What is that? It's like, uh, it's they're like Not uh, they're performance car. Yeah, it's a $400,000. Yeah The $400,000 Rolls Royce wraith is a car with no rivals. Hear that, Adam? That sounds like a fucking living room to you. You fucking bitch Sounds like a nice living room in the doors. They got Wraith has it the phantom has it where it's like in the doors. There's uh, uh

Umbrella's yeah, I just said that. Yeah, they they like pop out it comes with custom umbrellas that rules Yeah, I'm sick um Oh, fuck dude Life anyways. No, of course game. Of course, it's a better rich guy car This is more of a performance vehicle. Yeah, it's like that. That's like the rich guy car where you just like, you know, you think your daughter's a slut Like a hot daughter or whatever Yes, of course, you know, you want to fuck her friends real bad. Yeah, you still do drugs at 60

They're like, they're like mr. Mullen's so funny or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty funny, huh? Fucking hanging out in the basement or something. I don't come down there. All right, sir. I'll tell your mom Winking at her and shit. I'm the cool dad. She's watching everything happen She's watching me just clearly flirt with the child The island kitchen just downing wine and I look at her. I'm like, what? What the fuck is it now? Oh my I'm the cool. You know what? I'm why don't you go upstairs and the fucking sit on the balcony. I fucking bought us, huh? You fucking whore. Why don't you go upstairs and sit on that fucking card? I bought for you

The fucking card I bought with the hard work that puts the food on this fucking table The hard work I do every fucking day. I leave this fucking house and I do the fucking work Tony you've been home all day hitting on a child every fucking day I go out and I do fucking work Did meadow have any hot ass friends? No, just david chase's daughter. Yeah, she was busted I would love to smash meadow hunter hunter. Let me get some of that. She looks like shit Let me let me let my meadow. I want my dick to swim in that meadow, dude. You know what I'm saying? She's so hot. That is all right. Hunter hunter skirangelo. No, skangarelli or something. Yeah, bitch What is it?

skang Skangarello skangarello Skate. Yeah, skagrant. San Gennaro. San Grangelo. San Frangelico. Yeah, look how busted she looks just like david chase. Yeah Yeah, that is a tough guy to look like as a woman. Yeah, I know. Oh my god But at the same time You know what I'm saying? I would let her do the hokey pokey on my pregadoro You put my left nodding you put my left nodding you put my left nod out You suck my left nodding and you

And then you put my dick inside your mouth You suck my little penis and I come inside your ass I don't quit movies to be a mom I just think her career wasn't going that good. She was on maxim. I remember Yeah, she'll always be on my hot 100 There was some nice fakes of meadow Deep fakes Not even deep. She would she quit before the deep fake era. I remember pregnant meadow. I would smash

Yeah Hell yeah, oh damn. Yeah, she's got some honestly. Yeah, she's got some big-ass pregnant that don't us Damn My favorite meadow is right after We're gonna play mario party My favorite meadow is right after jackie jr. It dies. Yes, she just becomes a bitch. Oh, yeah Yeah, she she like she she snaps at that woman who's that girl that's clearly talking about She's mean because here's the thing that's clear with the soprano's meadow is actually

Meadow is actually tony's air. She's the one that should have been his air That's definitely cocaine. It's either cocaine or molly or something. I don't know what's doing on the floor It came out of Adam's ass. No, if it was cocaine and the bag was empty the bag would be torn open. That's true You should try you should just do it for fun You put my left balls in Right. I'm just gonna say my full dates. Yeah, I think this is this is Molly or something Molly do a little molly before funny moms. Yeah

Imagine how bad comedy would be the performers. We're all doing molly. Yeah, I think that's so funny that you said that Dude, what do you think? What do you think would happen? Dude, imagine if that Can you imagine that what? Dude, what do you think? It would be sort of like dude Can you imagine No, no, no, no, no, what are some other dude, can you imagine if the performers were on drugs? No, but molly specifically. Oh, yeah. Oh my coke makes sense

Being drunk makes sense for comics to struggle with those things Even being high makes sense, but being a molly. I can't I honestly can't imagine. That's too. That's too. Fuck. I'm just trying to imagine If the performers are on drugs, dude, that is not any drug. That is so crazy That would be fucked up. I think actually it's so crazy to imagine that dude That is such a go like how would you even come up with a wild scenario like that To imagine and just not even say anything about it. The implication alone is already so funny You don't need to say I think in general people on drugs when they shouldn't be now. That's some funny stuff. That is hilarious Can you imagine if like

What are you? I don't even understand what you're making fun of Molly we're not making fun of anything. We're talking about what a good comedic premise this is Oh, what a hilarious observation Yeah, hilarious. What a hypothetical. I'm not. I'm just imagine if the comedians were on drugs I've had a comment You know, I know you're right. You're right. It's fair. It was bullshit, but It is just funny to just key in on something. I know I know It is funny. I get it. I get how this works

You suck my heart as dick. You suck my left first one. You're gonna be on in the For the breakfast tour the but the breakfast tour baby. I hear some good things and we're selling calendars, baby So buy the fucking stavey baby calendar. It's out there stavey.biz my website They're beautiful calendars. You're gonna love them. They're flying like hotcakes. We're sold over a hundred already. So keep them coming Um, I'm in fucking Columbus this friday. Sorry again about indy. I'm in Cincinnati this saturday the 15th and cleveland on the 16th Um, I'm thinking about maybe doing a benefit show for my

Family friend that recently lost his mother In baltimore on the 22nd. I'm still a friend. I don't know where I am I can't find my mom Yeah, he's just out of it's dead. It's desi our word. My friend is a 40 year old guy wandering around the mall Yeah, somebody help me fire Um, so there might be a show in baltimore on the 22nd. I will post about that soon But for now come see your boy in fucking pittsburgh on the 11th buffalo on the 12th Schenectady on the 13th. Oh and also

Lancaster on the 10th on the way to pittsburgh and then big show phoenix. I'm motherfucking coming on the 19th Please buy your tickets. It's a big-ass venue our analytics. Say people listen in phoenix I'm gonna be fucked if people don't show up to that show. So please come and then la We're gonna add a second show Buy your tickets now. I need like 10 more people to buy and they said that'll be enough to buy a second show To start a second show. So do that shit, baby boys and girls. That's on the second And i'm in san diego on the 27th before that stavey.biz for the but the breakfast tour come on out you fucking

slobs And then this is the last funny moms of the year. We're also We're probably gonna be in dc in march with all the boys So that's something to look forward to we'll finalize all the details there We'll likely be part of the underground comedy festival doing a live podcast and a stand-up show So get your little dick dick holes a very nice venue get your little dick holes wet probably coming back to the motherfucker black Um, also funny moms. We'll be back. We'll be returning january 14 Nice, so have a happy holiday season everyone

Have a have a holly Suck a man's dick. I wish you a figgy pudding. We suck you a hard-ass penis. I wish you a figgy pudding Yeah, they say that that song Do they we should record the song when I come back from cleveland. We should record an album I got I wrote my song already shut up, dude You you heard it shut up bitch All right You guys want dinner? I'm fucking hungry as shit. I eat too many Oreos. Yeah

Um, let's just get tacos. I always get tacos. I'm too tired to do the show Come on. We have to do the show. It's a good show It's a good lineup body mcfarland jp mcday nick manny. None of you will be able to go to it because it's happening This is coming out after yeah, but I am very excited about it. It's gonna be really fun So if you didn't come to this one, you probably feel like an asshole you dumb piece of shit Yeah, I saw what the who is that? I don't know. I'm on some Twitter page called uk slags and sluts UK slags and sluts we've probably talked about this on come time before but um, that fucking

Okay, that fucking uh genre of porn dogging. Have you ever watched that? No, where it's just british women being driven to a field and like being fucked. Hell, yes This bitch just pulled it. Let me see you No, man All right guys. Well, that's the show Wait, what's dogging? Dogging is like just go to a field and fuck a bitch in a field. That doesn't make any sense. That doesn't sound like enough Why is it called dogging? I know, but it's only british. I think maybe I'm completely wrong. Yeah

My name is genre Genre genre my name is genre. Oh genre my name is genre category Man, I tried to fucking change my flight To like and delta has like a bereavement policy if there's like a death and uh, and at first it was like, uh, Like I got a really like nice asian gay man And then he was like, okay, this all sounds good. We're gonna figure it all out And there's like I just need to transfer you to my supervisor for the final steps And it was a old black lady and I was like, I'm fucked there's no and then it didn't happen

They're like, oh no, we can't do that It's just once you once once you hear once you hear an aged black lady customer service trying to do something like Not me, dude extra. Not me. You just need to know the code words. What are they? Say, uh, Gabrik, uh, I say No, no, you gotta be like uh No, I don't talk about saving private ryan. Oh, yeah, what was it? Not very good Not a lot of bad. I remember it being very good. I did you were like 13 when I know it's just like gladi There's a lot of dumb shit. No gladiators person foremost. It's like, you know, they're all just like yeah

Well from Brooklyn, you know, I mean, yeah, yeah, that's worse than band of brothers is but then yeah Ed Burns is in it and he's the brooklyn guy and in case you didn't realize he was from brooklyn He's wearing a jacket that says brooklyn new york on it. No. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah Yeah, that sucks. It's very stupid. Fuck that. I watched boogie nights again. It's fucking rules still Best movie of all time, dude The best That's the movie corner everyone. All right. I saw oh, I saw the the favorite anytime to go incredible five stars I think that's the show favorite. See you