The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 140 – fake news

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

im doing fake news now

and and my cunt and we're gay and we're gay breaking news tonight being gay turns out to be cool recent diagnosis from a doctor labeled one newscaster homosexual whoa why america is changing its mind about being gay i don't i don't think we are jim we're actually not jim actually yes we jim just read the prompter jim we actually recently found out jim actually someone get this homo out of here good afternoon it's december 22nd 2007 and being gay is no longer bad i don't know about that jim my bomb is not even for it yet yeah we don't even hillary clinton says she doesn't know everyone still thinks it's bad had hybrid cars are still called gay currently the democrats are running it they put a bill

in to call hybrid cars gay damn 2007 what heady times the end of the most beautiful george w bush administration now now they're giving fucking free semen to gay kids in school yeah dude if you're a gay kid you can't afford lunch you get a bunch of free cum to drink you just get a ladle full of cum slop down on your styrofoam tray yeah right next to the fucked up little cardboard ass looking pizza all paid for by uncle sam yeah their uncle yeah i was watching my 600 pound life the other day yeah i love it i love when they just choose a part of the woman's body the sensor oh yeah i guess this is this is it i guess this yeah we have to pick one fold maybe this her kids are so just facing down you don't even see the nipple i don't know looking at this woman

like you as soon as i look at her the song just starts playing in my head the this is halloween this is halloween halloween halloween halloween why is town weak because she looks like mr boogie boogie oh i don't remember that movie that well i don't either yeah i love i would watch yeah i would watch that movie over and over and over again i remember jack skellington i remember the the fucking the uh the bitch that poisoned the guy with the slotted spoon being hot that poisoned the guy and being like the the archetype for a lot of a lot of women our age sally yeah hot type of goth i've been looking at a lot of tim Burton slash do you listen where to voice sally does anyone know no call in now i like to hit our line good afternoon you're you're listening to the the ken

levine show i'm gonna say it was the hell on a bottom new york public access probably that's just my guess yeah public affairs he smashed he smashed he was married to her right he must have been yeah paul pownstone paul pownstone tim bird tim bird and fucked paul pownstone yeah with her fucking suits i just watched the movie recently called embert scissor hands he's a bunch of lesbians hands put you a little pussy in between his middle and i was having a like an italian guy is like wife asking him to go down on her and he's like i'm not a fucking lesbian what i look like a fucking dyke everybody's gonna think i'm a fucking lesbian yeah oh yeah mm-hmm it is so funny that they think that's gay yeah the least i mean eating

pussy eating pussy yeah uncle jr loves older black men think that too right i think so either they think it's seven black or they think it's the most sensual thing i say because i i feel my gayest when i bust too early right that's the gayest feeling right absolutely yeah well and your boyfriend's like timothy you're like my name's nick how many times are you gonna tell you yeah that's right i'm timothy would you would is that your gay name timothy yeah no nicholas is gay too i guess it's a pretty gay no but the full version is is the gay yeah why do gay guys not like diminutives or nicknames they always like christopher because um you know it's the opposite of their place in society mm-hmm they like the full name yeah they're marginalized in

society mm-hmm they want their name nice and long i love being a woke ass thing hear that man i love it like so they make their names long and the dicks they suck even longer when you first heard marginalized did you think about it was marjoram yeah and i got hard i love those people are getting the woke woke stuff because they want to feel like good people or whatever that makes sense these people to get into woke stuff because they think it makes them smart they're like oh yeah i know how to think about yeah which is okay sorry what happened i thought you went out for a second but i think the headphones just suck dick i switched them back to the dominant right ear or left ear i suppose yeah stop when are you gonna go on my 600 pound life never bitch i'm gonna get that 600 pounds 20 more

pounds baby yeah yeah then you'll get a tv credit baby as long as i don't have a heavy dinner tonight i'm staying off so i rose halki is uh from the late the from late night with jimmy fallin my 600 pound life that's right i was on credit network yeah i was on tom papa's show baked msg msg msg food network it's like every shitty open my comedian when i started it was like i do have a tv credit though uh missing me on cops right yes of course that was a guy that's funny missing me on cops when i raped what was the local like public access to virgins for what for if you're a muslim saying they get 72 virgins when they go to fucking heaven it's like shit 72 whores oh yeah i was that yeah that joke was all i was under the impression you could rape as many people as you wanted

to have it's fucking heaven it's for eternity you're gonna live that shit to 72 mother fucker i can rape 72 virgins in the fucking six hours that's that's what i call a fucking appetizer it's the entree it better be a fucking infant i'm not doing all this good i'm gonna spend my whole life not raping infants to get to heaven and just busting in what half a freshman class of high school girls that's what you got too old for him huh i could go i got an ar-15 at home i could go into any fucking school in this district and get 72 virgins before the call even gets into the non man he was that quick yeah look i said fuck i didn't say finish oh true true i'm sorry i apologize sir round them up round them up let me get one just one pump one dip in each in each

what was it that is actually very funny and that guy would like come hang out at like mr smith's afterwards yeah like yeah this comedy thing's pretty cool yeah honestly that joke is your name clint that joke's not bad it isn't bad compared to everyone did do 72 horse that's why i made it and that guy didn't yeah that's a good bit man that's a fucking appetizer that's the damn appetizer appetizer open my guy i missed the most and there wasn't a lot of them but he would show up is like the guy that would just talk about being in jail oh those guys i only got there's only a taste of that guy you would think in Baltimore you get more but every once in a while you would get like a very hood newcomer to comedy they would go to sidebar because they just looked it up

and it would be like i mean it would be hilarious because it's like it's like just a shitty fucking punk bar and it's like a bunch of fucking loser you know white open bikers and then they're just nervously laughing at him talking about how he raped people in jail and shit like that that was awesome shit you know better to sleep on your fucking stomach damn will they fuck your ass if you sleep on your stomach i'm a stomach sleeper i'm a back sleeper so you're always prepared i've been afraid of that shit for years oh yeah you learn your lesson when your dad wakes up and some guys holding his ankles up god damn it it didn't work just fucking a missionary stuff

looking at him in the face and kissing me just fucking giant belly just dropping against your kind of cape chest dick he's just kissing you he's just like having passion and gay sex with you hold on to my fucking biceps bitch i love eye contact tell me how fucking big my biceps up bitch yeah kissing your neck and shit he's like kiss my neck he's asking you to kiss his neck that's fucking good pussy oh fuck bitch that's such good pussy thank you daddy thanks thanks yeah i guess being raped face to face has to be way worse i would say so yes when we're out together and i'm raping you face to face

in san frangelico as a gentleman maybe remember the tune when you're raping girl face to face thank you when you're raping when you're raping the whole world rapes with you when you rape that's right i forgot the song yeah when you smile when you're raping when you smile the world rapes your mom i played the song the starlight lounge 1973 reno nevada right after i was raped brutally reminds me of story when i was on the road reno nevada i was raped i was raped by the whole the night manager at the hotel i was staying in i went to the police they laughed at me

we all know and the police never believe a victim ladies and gentlemen mr wane newton hello everybody do y'all know there's no such thing as a perfect victim but i'm played them clothes i was raped i got raped under the moon he's got the kind of plastic surgery that just makes him look philippine no he doesn't have plastic surgery he has a he has a klinefelter syndrome or something no but he is slain to guys right way new yeah that's definitely a style of plastic surgery i think no but i mean maybe a plastic surgery but way newton is the way he is because he's got like klinefelter what's that sounds like a horse he's got like xxy chromosome so he has an extra girl oh that's why he sings like

a girl that's why he's got like a falsetto voice mr las vegas baby does he have good boy pussy then facial hair does his ass get wet he looks like katie lang he does yeah they look very similar does she have klinefelters no she's a lesbian before the nfl uh hold on does that mean one second i'm sorry yeah please does that mean he can uh like does his tits get full of milk adam please yes we had to ask does his tits get no that was better than that well this weekend in uh i guess two weekends are there other more you know female like characteristics i'm guessing would you drink wane newton's milk hell yes dude that would be hilarious i'm gonna go open an ebay account right

now and try and sell wane newton's milk as you all know wane newton has klinefelter syndrome and as a result his tits does fill with milk dude i would i would drink does his tits that was also that's how you phrased it does his tits does his tits get full of milk does it sound like a nine-year-old i was just thinking about wane newton with tatie's full of milk i started laughing dude in my head is that like a lotarian melted as my guy shuts out lotarian free free tay yeah i think he went back to jail oh yeah yeah before the uh patriots uh chiefs game um they were like dude that guy's got a spallous plastic surgery yeah yeah yeah no i i you said he has plastic surgery and i i wasn't denying that he had

plastic surgery i was i was explaining that he looks weird because he has a genetic disease right right right so it's not like he fucked himself up with plastic surgery he's always looked weird right what's he what's young wane newton look like um like pretty sexy like katie lang like a fucking lesbian oh damn yeah yeah that looks weird he's got like a little boy face mm-hmm but yeah they have like uh they have like long limbs they're like lanky really yeah weird alien proportions they're like um like falsettos or not falsettos kistratos kistratos yeah but he definitely fucked mr. los vegas wane dude so did the fucking kistratos in italy but they didn't have balls it doesn't matter and they had like baby penises you mean they put

their little dicks in a woman's pussy no uh stop you would have lived like that would have been the incredible i didn't no joke i had a beautiful voice as a baby as a child yeah i'm not even kidding i could sing beautifully i was meant to be a kistrato you would be the king of the italian opera soft dress like a clown yeah i would love just women sucking your son my little little limb two inch cock those fucking kistratos they like clean up as opposed to my limp four inch god now well it's funny it's because it's like that's the shit that uh that fucking uh you know it's like fat women are like you know fat women used to be beautiful but no one talks about how the castrated boys were sexy that's right that used to be hot that was hot dude that's my thing i'm

going to bring that back as as i miss my chance to be a kistrato yeah this guy alessandro moresci the last kistrato i'm basically a kistrato honestly dude can you imagine being famous for having your balls cut off i'm chemically castrated from all the the uh the fucking and like chemicals in the foods i eat i think i'm getting so fat i'm basically chemically castrated i mean that's not him play one of his songs an ad for here we go okay here we go oh that was you adam hold on series here are you dumb bitch i yeah it's coming through beautiful that's not a piano that's him

yo that doesn't even sound that good you know pause that doesn't sound good enough to get your cock chopped off i'd rather have balls okay hold on dude my main guy is nuts chopped off to sound like adam sandler doing opera man oh my god incredible beautiful oh my god it's him getting held down it's a kistrato getting held down get his nuts chopped off wait is he getting raped is that what the hell was that was that a kistrato getting raped what are these pictures damn that's a kistrato with a naked bitch is that a cock an ear and his cock what the hell is this shoot dude

what is this freaking shit where did you find this video red tube yeah it's red tube anyways yeah they were like they would just smash that's great what do you mean they could they come no they're probably not they'd no come in their balls they had no balls but they were like bisexual too okay i would i mean i would assume so yeah i would get my ass you have to that's the only kind of sex that's the only good thing that was the last guy to get his balls chopped off can you imagine how much that would suck yeah that doesn't even mean you're the best you're just the last guy who doesn't have balls anymore yeah yeah so the class after you that's like yeah where's gonna let you sing with your nuts and he's like hey what the fuck yeah yeah they're guys with balls

they could sing higher than that that guy claus know me could sing really high class know these guys nuts chopped off everyone knows no he has aids he's died of aids they invented aids to make pop music better a lot of people ready mercury class know me did you see the movie no i didn't see i didn't see it i protested out of disdain for brian singer but atlantic published a big thing about brian singer and fucking rami malek the guy who played that was awesome dude what what do you say what a fucking piece of shit he said look just say nothing he's like he's like i had no idea about the allegations in fact i think in and i'm paraphrasing but it's like i think the spirit of freddy sort of protected me from knowing no just like it's like i just saw that he said he had no idea

which is insane yeah everyone fucking you no he makes it about like freddy and art and all this bullshit it's like there's no way you didn't know you participated in the project with the rapist you did it because you only care about your career which is true for everybody everyone in halloween that's why people keep getting it's true for everyone almost everywhere very few people are like principle and the thing is too the only you get it's like it doesn't matter you're gonna fucking die anyway so you might as well rape some king no principles are for people with nothing to lose right it's very easy to be principled when you have your whole life to live right you know that's why i have no principles i know i'm gonna die any day now fuck that yeah me either dude so

whatever you guys you guys got a hot tip on some illegal shit you need a bank for me and nick are looking to spend some cash some dough i'm trying to get a little little fedora some riskier than krypton something that could land us in federal prison yeah let's be some mobsters immediately murdered bring on forty thousand dollars to prove that your loyalty yes sir and then they just kill us and take the money they say you can get a lot more with a smile and a buster sword i'm gonna smile i'm gonna be the mob sort of carries a buster sword what's a buster sword the big giant sword that cloud has in final oh hell yeah that would be good any inconspicuous this is getting stuck at the subway trying to take the train

whoopsie three-piece suit and fucking spanish stripes and a big ass sword that's me awesome mm-hmm yes ma'am that's that is correct that is yes sir yep well he gets apparently he's gonna keep directing red sonia brian singer yeah good for him yo apparently the michael jackson shit is the documentary adam famously thinks he's completely innocent i'm i'm you know i'm and apparently everyone who's had seen advanced like screenings and like damn well you know it's his llama phobia because as you know he became a member of the nation of islam did he i think they did his security detail like during the crime the track the second trial respect he had like a bunch of bow tie guys all around that's awesome yeah i didn't

know that i mean i think i've i've i've uh was it word proffered my theory uh proffered is that correct yeah this is don't you mean offered no proffered it sounds almost collect hold out to someone for acceptance no that's not correct synonyms offer present this thing wait a second proffer it's a synonym of offer yeah pick one you can't this is the same fucking word it's a smart sounding way to say offered that's fucking stupid as shit yo it's got it's one of the other so many more words yeah i don't know i don't know shit i'm so fucking i know like like really just one word that i can think of what is it if i try and think of words there's only one that pops in my head don't say that one maybe we're making young men stupid by not letting them say

words a specific word because you get stuck on one word right then you can't learn more words after that that makes sense to me yeah maybe that's the appeal of maga as it sounds so close it's so close that doesn't it's close enough i didn't think no one will ever suspect it the perfect crime yep no one suspects maga guys being racist that's certainly true well no one's suspect no one's getting mad at them for saying maga that's true greatest trick the devil of polls was convincing people that the accusations against him were sourced in homophobia i love that singers like reacted did exactly the kevin spacey yeah respect he didn't character video no he was like people don't like me because i'm gay right he's like it's homophobia that's why that's

awesome he's still married or he left his wife he's saying that like because he was never married was he yeah with kids yeah he's he has he has like a fake wife with a bit that is he had a baby with yeah wait would was he the one that was married to kate beckon sale no different director that's matt rife the guy that brandon got in the fight with he did price man you guys are threatened matt uh uh uh uh brandon and brandon didn't fight him that'd be so awesome if brandon just got a shit fucked up just beat this right beat the shit that'd have been awesome team right i would love to bet on that kind of thing bet on it at bet the aside that'd be the undercard for louis versus like uh i don't know like a you a retardic army well i would love to bet that

on bet the aside dot com i would love for louis to his career to end with him doing like back alley prize fights with mentally disabled from like one specific shopping center they're all just employees of the like the people's drugs and you know the fucking radio shack they used to do bum fights not too far from where i went to high school really yeah that was like there was like a back alley behind we go check it out super mark about cum no it's even at that time and i was like a shithead high school student who probably would have laughed at a native american guy playing a drum but admittedly still now you would know that to this day you would just say the thing about the bum fights man don't you're gonna start you're gonna pretend that you wouldn't you didn't like

bum fights when you were in high school no i i think you didn't watch those kimbo fucking videos i think i even know i watch kimbos i watch kimbo those were backyard you might you probably don't know what bum fights was terrible i remember i remember even i was like this this is like fucking that's the point yeah even like as a kid i was like yeah because in the video they're like you want this sandwich where you're gonna have to fight for a motherfucker oh it's actual homeless guys not just like yeah they just like yeah they and it was basically like yeah it was hard to watch yeah it's terrible but you know as a young 15 year old boy i watched everyone with the tear going down my face yeah train yourself embrace this and then two years later it was like

i've done it i've completely suppressed yeah my normal emotional reactions to anything and now i'm a cool man no longer a boy ready to post now ready to post and drop out of school it really was a weird it was a weird thing to be like such an amoral high school student and then to see that and be like this this is too far you would say you would consider yourself amoral yeah high school kids are evil yeah i mean that's what we talk about all the time on this show no they're cool you think they're cool yeah it's just i think i think you know you really need to hold kids to a higher standard they shouldn't ever smirk yeah can you imagine how poorly a kid has to be raised to smirk in a situation ever to ever have a smirk on his face that is true

yeah no i wouldn't be a bitch ass kid yeah kids are kids are all shitty i thought you i was a wonderful child no you weren't yeah you're probably a shithead too i was beautiful david hog is a shithead hey come on they're all shithead all high school students are shithead doing is he doing louis bit uh yeah he did a bit about how like kids shouldn't try to make the world a better place all right they should do drugs let me ask you this so this kid's supposed to get out of the way right i'll tell you another story about another teenager and another native american native american by the name of george zimmerman oh my god now hold on you can't look at that man and tell me he's not a native american that's true i thought he was he was half

this is a great take what was it george no no no let me hear what was it zimmerman half uh columbia i can say this is definitely not white would you expect a teenager in that situation to get out of that way or would you want him to stand his ground the teenager stand his ground to be clear um well the teenager stood his ground and he lost i guess but that the act in itself was disrespectful according to the native american to the sand man so you're you are pro trevon and sand man yes okay i mean niggas bro all teens team activists and stepping outside of the joke yes i think george zimmerman murdered a child i also think like a 17 year old boy shouldn't be like fucking railroaded for smirking when somebody comes

and doxxed i mean like dox and his family being doxxed the kid made a public statement so it was not like i mean he identified himself yeah he was gonna get god anyway yeah people knew what the school was but he was already identified and then he made the statement kathy griffith is the only one that was like you know dox these kids and she's a fucking retard anyway i don't know dox but it's funny dude it's really funny she's like name names i want these kids names what yeah damn would you yeah it's gotten so ridiculous i didn't even show it to nick because i knew it would make you mad but there's a picture of that that high school's basketball team doing the like three point oh yeah the point of thing and they're like they're like this is like oh this

is a hate symbol a white power symbol yeah no and then people are like replying to it and they're like well here's like steve curry doing that symbol too she deleted that tweet yeah yeah i mean it's just it is it is insane oh wait fuck bet the aside dot com yeah yeah yeah yeah you can bet at bet the aside dot com i hope they don't like pull the read and just hear me say but you can bet it bet the aside dot com the read starts now the read starts now oh the read starts now you can remember remember when it's the premier sports betting website you remember the thing we saw about brand where they'll get in front of fighting oh yeah that was one of Louis's fights with men with down syndrome in the alley behind the shop right frances park shopping center in edison new

jersey dude i'm telling you fighting is the only thing that's ever mattered to me now that they made it legal to fight men with down syndrome for cash they didn't they didn't make it legal oh i just need the money yeah no this is one of his interns oh i thought that was the guy with down syndrome no it is it it's one of his interns that has down oh i got you and the other down syndrome fighters are like how could you turn your back on your people there's just a down syndrome guy that's that's samuel all jackson and jango he's like get these retards out of here so yeah they're the premier sports book sports website on the internet they've been in business over 20 years wow how many years is that one two three four four five five six seven eight eight nine

10 i was gonna say that my bed yeah it's all right nine 10 11 12 13 yes 15 14 15 i knew all these 16 17 18 19 20 years over that over that so even maybe one 22 we're not gonna go into it but yeah more than 20 i'm i think i'm i'm that age um but uh plus 10 years i'm actually i'm 30 oh so how many is that so that's uh 21 22 23 24 i wish my life expectancy was 27 28 29 30 so that's how old nick is and bet the aside has been around 10 years less than that yeah bet the aside has been around there's so they pay out winners and they pay out winners dude they got award-winning customer service dude there's a blue ribbon tied around every guy they got a blue ribbon award-winning customer service this is 100 true they actually won a Pulitzer prize for customer service last year at the

Kahn's festival yep we got the jury the jury selection selection yeah at peace peace the shit piss the shit stuff shit do fuck festival they got award-winning customer service and easy to use mobile app play bet win you can play anywhere wow that's you can play with my fucking balls play with nicks cock and balls you can play with my actually you can't please don't don't please do don't ever please cock and ball keep your hands behind the velvet rope hands off don't touch i got a little placard over my asshole describing my dick and it's history what it did back in the 90s a little velvet it's like yeah bitch welcome to the museum keep you keep your damn voice down we don't want to wake up the exhibits

are the exhibits other guys in their cocks no it's just we only got one exhibit but you don't want to wake it yeah that's right okay another placard a little velvet rope around my asshole welcome and then another placard right the asshole plaster on putty oh okay oil on ass yes olive oil on ass rubbing your own ass with oil on bethias i'm bethias they got an award-winning mobile app that you can use anywhere play bet win at the museum play bet play bet win bet win win ass fuck win cock fuck suck shit hunt win win have you ever have you ever uh shit the bed while fucking i've never done that what are we still doing every year yes we are yeah yeah no that's for the copy i want to try that you want to try

getting the bed while you're just pretending you're like oh my god it was an accident oh my used to full turd or what just spraying diarrhea it would have to be diarrhea yeah doesn't that part shut down don't be like you're just so hot you made me squirt yeah so wet damn you're so hot i know wet i'm wet all down my legs anyway see uh they're like this is your apartment just put on a fedora walk out of the apartment completely nude see you later touch it's just like police lights on the hallway wait who is it you live there sir with the hat there's a shitty shitty ass leaving a trail of diarrhea down the steps how did you find me well we just found a little spot of diarrhea yeah lead look to the public park where you're

sucking off another man yeah i want to try that yeah you totally i want to try something new i bet the inside is a great mobile app easy to use for anywhere you know for a live game wagering you can make plays throughout the entire game and event wow here's what we're going to be betting on this week take the damn super bowl bet on the rams the pennsylvania uh 1600s to win the super bowl against the denver no it's the rams versus the patreons and i'll be in la actually yeah during the super bowl come see me february second the day before the super damn rams versus the patreons kind of reminds me of nathan philips the liar versus nick sandman the patriot young patriot boy stood up for for for unborn americans everywhere every

unborn baby because of our fucked up naturalization laws has the potential to be an american they just got to get that you know their mom's pussy over here that's right once you once you slip in slot that's a that's a good argument that i would make if burr if life starts a conception yes like why the you should oh naturalize somebody so if someone if someone gets busted in in italy on their honeymoon yeah well no somebody gets busted in in america they're over here as a native as an immigrant get busted in go back to mexico you're pregnant here and then you're pregnant baby in mexico and you'd be like well life begins at fucking bust that's so true i got busted in back back in tejas mm-hmm okay i was at the fucking greyhound

station i got raped by a cop yeah okay yeah and then that's 20 years later i guess who's getting sworn in to the office of president the baby alexander okizio pretes she's gonna be trans next year i see and that's alex i don't think i think she's from uh new york actually i don't think that's what happened at all my bad i thought her mom was raped by a cop no no no anyway i don't think we've technically finished the anyway so there's a promo code there's a promo code i'm just trying to help i'm just trying to help the democratic party win i'm saying look here's what look i know everything about messaging and signaling you want to win the si dot com's last one tell them what here's who's winning here's who's winning in 2020 for the democrats who put

this forward a pile of rape come with a pink bow on the top okay and you're like what that's a boy it's not a way to wear a pink bow and it's like actually she can do whatever she wants and then the you know it just sits there on the stage and trump yells at it uh-huh and people are like well look how many times trump shouted over the pile of sexual assault come so anyway they never got a word on the pile of cum don't they give you some kind of money that's as good as a voucher or something hey look i got excited there for a second i'm trying to help the democrats i know look i know some people they say malin you cross a line sometimes yeah you don't even know when you're joking anymore right and you know what i'm a dreamer all right yeah like all the dreamers

i like all of the dreamers yeah in fact you call me a wet dreamer and i'm trying to find different ways to make this world a better place and listen if you're an immigrant struggling to make you don't like these ideas just don't adopt them but you can't get mad at me for trying so true okay that's that's the heart of it like we just want to like for the sake of the discourse just put these things forward mm-hmm could you perhaps run a pile of cum rape as the democratic said rape yes as rape come with a bow with a pink bow and the kente cloth okay and um you're a democratic nominee pile of rape come with a pink bow that nominee needs to be 35 finish oh that's the problem you can't fuck it has to be 35 year old bust yeah that's ages well well that's the law baby the

constitution so when you sign up make sure you use promo code cum 120 so they know we send you i mean you sign up you've got some options you can just play and cash out you can take the bonus money which is like getting a casino up front before you plate at the tables it has a rollover requirement but it's free cash free cash so if you're going to be in the sports book we love we love to gamble if you use promo code cum 120 up to a thousand dollars they're going to give you 60 percent bonus cash would you turn a thousand dollars in the 1600 to play so once again that's bet the si.com cum 120 let's start the show i feel like you guys aren't hearing me out with this thing no i'm with you i think you're trying to bring america together i think that a lot of people

there's a lot of division and i get what you're how about this the pile of cum has a gun okay i love that but here's a bible i it's not that i didn't like what you're going it's just that i think our sponsors pay a lot of good money for us to keep keep it out of politics they don't pay any money these are products that we use you're so right yeah that we happen i just think listen i love the idea i just think it's a little risqué to talk politics during a read yeah we try to yeah we try to rape it a a political we don't we keep it apolitical you know i don't know i think it's a good idea my feelings are honest i'm sorry no i think you always have good ideas you have plenty of good ideas it's a really good idea we know we don't try to make you feel even if they're bad

ideas it's like please just like embrace my free spirit i know yes and yes and my free thinking you know you're right i love where you're coming from with that i love the energy behind that idea you have any more ideas no yeah you do that was my big idea i'm sorry dude come on brother i didn't we thought we liked it and i'm sure bet dsi let we'll like it too uh my dick is small damn dude i feel weird i feel strange do you know elvis came back into town i've been i've i've shat like six times today really went to wing night yeah yeah it's tough it's a real co-dependent relationship wing night is it is it rude wait hold on what the fuck is wing night do we free like at a bar where they do cheaper wings cheap wings i didn't even

know those exist what are you talking about where they have like 25 seven wings tonight no i didn't know i mean i know they have ladies night but i didn't know they had a night for fat they do everywhere first of all it's a night for people who love bargains okay bargain hunts it's it was it was an economic decision first and foremost to eat it wasn't even that many honestly 16 wings that's not that's nothing 16 wins a little appetizer it's like what that guy considered 72 virgins that character from earlier if you'll recall rude if you get sent a nude to like do that like adam loved this picture i don't think it's rude you should say something else you should say something else you can get back to your girlfriend and you're receiving news from i'm saying theoretically

not from people from my girlfriend you fucking don't start that shit don't put that into the universe i'm just saying i got it i got a young healthy fresh relationship where we send nudes to each other send a picture of your cock no never why not dude because she knows what it looks like i don't know what she looks like the flow she said well she i like sending a nice cock pick every once in a while to your wife to dasha to my wife to all my friends and wives i guess i should um now it feels nice i like that someone's looking at my penis in a positive way i like knowing that you know what i mean you mean you like pretending that they're no they are they ask for it i'm not just sending a cock pick what do you think the what's going on on the other

side of the cell phone i think they get that picture just licking her lip you think that's thing you think that's yummy yummy yeah just nine fourteen year old girls in a locker room being like gross no not true yeah probably just like a heavy sigh right i think no they're beating off i only send them in the heat of a sexting conversation i'm not sending it like oh you're like babe you got me so hot yeah she sent her titties she maybe oh yeah i guess that kind of makes sense in context what do you think i'm just sending a cock pick on a wednesday at three p.m or something i mean yes that's what i assumed you're doing yeah that's what that's what i when you said that that's what i thought no i'm beating off she's beating off we're on snapchat that kind of thing

oh snapchat beat up snapchat beat up why don't you just do facetime that's a more fun way of doing it now it is sure but that i think there's more intimacy there mm-hmm you can't really weird you gotta jack off exactly and hold the cell phone the other you can't frame your cock so it might happen if you do that you might fucking like hurt one of your joints or something okay wow and then you might need some shit called yeah cb the hemp bomb cbd oh yeah that that actually that would be yeah that happens to me all the time yeah yeah what's the what that happens to me when i have heard my joints beating off yeah you might need hemp bombs cbd i love that i do that i use the largest selection of us grown cbd products on the market well cbd is rising in popularity because

it's a non psychoactive compound found in marihuana that is helping people break free from stress plus pain plus anxiety wow i love that about cbd that's so awesome yeah um you could do this yeah no i mean i've used it i love i love the max i've used it myself personally it helps me sleep it helps me max chill i use a thing called max chill that helps me sleep whoa they got another thing called capsules that are great for anxiety during the day as you know i'm often so anxious oh yeah every day i wake up and i'm like what the fuck what are we what what's going on with climate change oh my god it could be over any of my fucking weed pills from hemp bombs cbd my capsules i clutch my chest and i go where

my fuck where my capsules my capsules and then i i shove the young boy next to me and i'm like fuck and earn your keep get me my capsules they got gummies you know those gummy bear vitamins well these are like the opposite okay the gummy bears they got the opposite of vitamins in there drugs no they're not drugs they're really good for you they're great for anxiety and going to sleep love you got pain freeze it's great for aches and pains love that shit on your night to reduce inflammation do not put it on your nuts that's like the one thing i will say with this do not put any fucking mint and then don't product on your nuts and then don't take a shower to try to walk that was so funny yeah yeah you're dumb ass did that yeah no that shit burns

i did that once i thought my day i thought i'd destroy i thought i'd never have a dick yeah what were we going to meet up or something and you just no i was that visiting my parents oh that's right that's right yeah and i used to see that cbt and here's why we're recommending hand bomb cbd it's 99 cbd purity domestically grown it's 100% legal get that fucking get that fucking foreign cbd out so you're not going to fail a drug test if you take this shit no sit back on the job at ups after you beat up the fucking one woman that works in the store well we got do we have the product for you you got it you got an official brown frown notice from the manager well i'll tell you what you can come back you're not going to fail the drug test because you're on cbd no sir

the biggest product selection on the market unique products like tattoo aftercare lube and beer damn and you know it's cool you know i'm definitely the kind of person that loves this kind of shit that's i'm absolutely we love you know i love getting just sick blink 182 tattoos doing some aftercare with them with that's right and then lubing up my cock to have sex with a beer feeling my boyfriend's beard while i'm oiling my beer bomb cbt oil oh yeah it's one of the best and most reviewed brands on social media third party lab tested so everyone go to hempbombs.com and use promo code come town for 20 off again that's hempbombs.com use promo code come town for 20 off of your beard oil of your of your fake we chill what was it called

max chill that stuff is kind of good yeah no joke i my brother got me some of that shit i have a whole box all that shit oh yeah cbd so i might actually oh i'm trying to get frick frickin i like my upper chest might look peck you should try it out dude hurt and well that he did join i did have great oh you did i mean i you should have tried it on you did more i mean you guys already know this story but i went to a massage part oh yeah that was awesome yeah and i went in and it like they looked like whores but i was like look my fucking shoulder i like my my shoulder is so funny and i need that and they're like yeah yeah she's really good she'll take care of you and then she like comes into the locker room she's like take off all your clothes and she's

standing there and then i get completely naked in front i'm like all right whatever it's like i don't want this to like you got totally naked yeah i mean fucking she's like take off all your clothes like all right i mean they didn't give you a massage always do that sometime no they give me a towel yeah yeah they had a towel but then like you know you have to take the towel off to lay down the bed they don't really it wasn't really much like privacy offered right and then i'm like laying there and she's like doing my back for a bit and did she put on this like bullshit chinese song it's like that's hot dude like one of those songs i think five minutes in it's just like my neck my back my pussy and my crack and then it like was like mashed up i don't know where the

fuck that's incredible what and then she's like yeah she's like roll over and then she starts like doing the shit with my chest but then she's like you know like touching my hand and shit yeah she's like you want me to jack you off i was like no i need my fucking mic i paid you 80 dollars i need my shoulder like incredible incredibly tight it fucking hurts but she wasn't that good of a masseuse no the whole time she's big she's like huh she's like she's a hand job practitioner but look you chose that as the front for your business right or your illegal process so at least learn how to give a good yeah satriol says good meat yeah it's fucking like yeah like yeah we don't have any pork you fucking dumb piece of shit the one time i went i knew it was a hand job place 15 seconds in

because i was like this massage sucks yeah right yeah well anyway so she's like where to get her yeah she's like my hands are walking down the street and then you know i mean because i'm like naked so i'm just like sitting there with my like dick flopping out going like just use your elbow and i'm like demonstrating on the pillow yeah yeah wait you don't even have a towel at this point yeah no the towels i mean it was there but like it was an afterthought i had to get up to like show her like how to keep you keep moving your mic i had to get up to show her like with the elbow on the pillow i'm like do that right here right you know and then she keeps missing the spot it's like there's like a tight band right under my collarbone you made a sex worker sex slave she

literally would have rather sucked your dick yeah of course that's way easier yeah they're listening to nick specific i don't know man that seems like god letting you get permission to get sucked off what do you mean giving me permission to get sucked off i can get sucked off if i want to i don't want to get sucked off by some i'm just saying oh was she bad looking she was okay but like i it's in no way would i feel good about myself paying for a fucking blowjob from some like chinese sex slave what i do want is it a proper massage from somebody i regular chinese slave yeah from a regular chinese slave fix my fucking shoulder how did your shoulder feel afterwards awful dude damn yeah she used like menthol like some sort of menthol rub but then

like my like the skin was burning and i have this huge bruise there now i went to a spa for my anniversary last year with dasha she was just punching me and i got a fat gay guy give me a massage like a real massage look at your little body and oh my god look at your cute little body i must say i was like god you're like a little kindle i was like fat gay he's probably gonna be the best massage ever one of my hands all the way around your right and i gotta say not very good it was i really i wasn't it's pretty homophobic look at you why i was i just want to put you a little baby shoot push you around i thought it's like a little race car yeah i just eat you up it was i bet i could fit you entirely in my ass it's just like a bunch of condom over right yeah while

you're like getting the massage she's like starting with his ass at your feet and eating you like a snake yeah yeah he's holding his ass open sizing you up slowly asshole slowly inching his body around yours with his ass there you go you're like let me go nick you can't see it but nick is doing that i'm acting it out yeah which he was playing when we got in here i was playing and he was of all i wasn't playing i was simulating fucking asshole so i would not play well i just want to say that nick did text the location and name of that place and i will be sure yeah to not go there yeah and i'm happy to know that oh yeah and then also you found the review oh yeah i found the review that was incredible what was the guy's name i can't remember

something spanish it was like one of those like best buy geek squad kind of guys yeah carlos de la joya because i love it 15 chinese duckies take your pick from oh fuck dude that was so good i'm pissed dude sorry man sorry he should have just gotten sucked off i know i didn't want that i wanted my shoulder fix yeah but you should have dude at some point that you let go and let god it's fucking medical care i know it'd be like they're like i'm like having like heart palpitations and you go to the fucking doctor and they're like oh here's a valium and it's like oh but that's not what i thought or the doctor sucks you off is that a problem yeah just going to the fucking car it's medical happy i think after my fucking stress

test i'm like do you offer full surface i'll tip extra i mean we don't have to report it to the fucking insurance i did have a car uh a uh what's a cock doctor called i don't know you're all just yeah there was a lady you're all just had handled my penis one time it did not it was not arousing i gotta be honest yeah i thought oh am i gonna get hard she was holding my little ass yeah and one time i got a felt weird yeah the one time i got a physical from the fuck you're otherwise a woman i was like 15 and she was like drop trowel and i was like i hope my dick is all right and it was the worst it was trash and i was like ashamed i was sad you were hoping it would be hard no i was like i hope that it's like looks at least robust or something there's cold or something

my dick yeah my dick was extra small yeah yeah extra small yeah it felt terrible yeah you wanted this lady but then i was like just she's a professional dude you wanted this grown woman to be like hmm that kid had a nice car i wanted her to be like yummy i was hoping it was a pedophile i was hoping she would molest you ever you ever feel like you really served good dick at his doctor's appointment has there been any time yeah but it was with like guys but you have gay but you remember being like damn i have no there's one time that that many doctors touching my dick that old man that put his finger in my ass to do a prostate yeah i have my dick look great that well i wonder why it was before he put in my ass was salivating i was like i'm excited sweetheart loop me up your

ass was drooling for that one just spit on it before you throw it in there cowboy you're like okay now two fingers what'd you say neg yeah i've not had many i guess when i thought i had ball cancer i got that that time i had a doctor that chinese doctor touched my dick but honestly i cannot recall any kind of like even considering like i wonder what my dick looks like for this old chinese man no you always gotta consider you gotta be friendly well i i i recently had i went to dermatologist and did a full checkup and two women looked at my penis there was a doctor and a trainee and they were they looked under my nose they looked just like like a telescope on a motor all right they used the naked eye thank you very much my penis was visible

it was a naked eye no there was no motorized telescope necessary to give me a full skin exam 20 000 pounds oh they weren't even wearing glasses 15 declaration right no sir not what happened oh fuck yeah so i think i don't know i don't think a doctor will see my penis anytime soon though i feel like i don't want to make love to one oh yeah i guess that's i could now i'm an adult

i could fuck a doctor you ever think about that like wouldn't it be nice to just get married to a rich woman yeah who's like a professional mm-hmm oh good news what all the t-shirts i ordered are being shipped nice congrats man yeah next got some new merch coming through folks well this time because i did drop shipping for a while through printify and the quality was bullshit so if you bought a t-shirt off that old shop it's like it's gonna be better shirts probably destroyed already so my bad folks but i got a guy that prints them so i'll be doing fulfillment myself if you want to get a t-shirt or mm-hmm um you can also go to uh style shop calm i think or something well i would love to just be a lifestyle brand you know oh yeah just two different life

lifestyles stylings like what like the fire festival oh nice yeah did you see that dock i did i did not which is a jealous or netflix i wish i could be like that you see that i guess they were the netflix uh the netflix i saw the hulu which was the one where the netflix was a propaganda fuck jerry my the fuck jerry people put it out and they were also villains in the story now but the hulu is the guy who sucked dick or something yeah that that part's hilarious that keeps coming back up there's like the the uh that fucking the main guy is that calls up some gay guy and he's like i need you to suck the dick of he's like you're gonna take one for the team you need to go down to the commissioner of like water's office and suck his dick to get approved for this

water and he's like and i put wash my mouth out with uh listerine and i got my car and i went down to his office fully prepared to suck his dick for this festival i respect yeah and he's like in all of my career he's like i couldn't believe what was happening he was like that i was at the point what was his job like the foco kind of guy he was the gay guy that's right for them yeah i mean that's definitely the funniest part of the whole thing that's awesome salute to that man hey i guess like honestly yes salute to that guy legit that's a ride or die friend right that's that's more than any veteran has ever done for a lone survivor that story goes down the fucking drain as soon as you hear about the guy's sucking dick to save him music for water bottles to help

jaw rule is jaw rule the guy told him to suck dick well jaw rule was one of the like families in festival right right right yeah oh wow you you got shot four or five times for your buddies he's this guy blew some bahamas fucking clumbahamian yeah commissioner did he have to suck his dick well the guy like let him off the look he's like you do not have to suck my dick but he was good that yeah i want to kick back but that was the deal like disgust no i think this guy was just like we'll send my i'll send my gay friend down there to suck the worst case scenario left to suck his dick that's awesome i can't imagine being in a position though where like some old man comes into my office and he's like look i really need this

loan for a hundred thousand dollars right mostly because i can't imagine a scenario where i have an office right or a hundred thousand dollars that i haven't already blown on coins or cryptocurrency right and uh and then me being like no i can't do that and i'm being like well i'll suck your dick me being like was this guy you know what you've got a deal yeah it was the i'm not i'm gay now right that's the thing was the guy in the Bahamas gay i guess okay maybe man if he was a hot ass girl i mean i would consider it uh but for a hundred thousand dollars i mean if i have a hundred thousand dollars to loan out and a hot woman comes in my office and says i'll blow you for a hundred thousand dollars i press the button under my desk so

i'm at the lock the door and i get that blow job for free you want to be on two and a half man or what sweetheart give him the the les mounves special damn fuck les mounves yeah um can you imagine how bad you would feel if you spent a hundred thousand dollars on a blow job oh i would feel horrible come on that would be brutal but i would think about it for a second i would say no but i would think about it i'd be like i don't want to give you this money but will you please just suck my penis yeah i mean that's called negotiations maybe she will maybe she won't but you never know unless you that's such like porn logic for the real world that only works in porn right i love the real estate genre now or oh yeah well i only have

a hundred dollars who's like listen no security positive sex no for once around this pussy is worth you know twenty eight hundred dollars yeah a Honda you got like a 1998 civic pussy uh fuck i mean yeah i feel bad sometimes after i bust when i spent no money yeah i can't imagine how i'd feel that proposed bust hundred k yeah you gotta go to your boss and you're like listen i'm not really a bad after busting kind of guy in fact i that's like the five seconds i have where everything's okay where you're clear headed i am yeah yeah yeah listen the sensation of busting after you know you jack off or whatever but i'm talking about you bust you're like oh no yeah why did i look at me i'm naked naked why did i fuck this person you know what are the repercussions

gonna be that sort of thing you know what i mean no you never had a regrettable hookup oh yeah well plenty yeah that's what i mean um but it's not like no i got to sleep here everywhere i just hit my bad just i read everywhere i didn't put down enough uh plastic sheeting yeah no but i'm saying well i'm usually though i am overwhelmed by that feeling of like god nothing matters euphoria not euphoria it's like it's i think that's what xan is you know busting i think that yes yes perpetual busting with a girl who uh i i hate i see you know that just no you don't have you don't panic all the comedians what's that you don't panic when that happens um what do you mean oh i see you have absolutely girl you he hates and then he feels absolutely oh i i get that

you feel like hate and don't care how you know i yeah not not not not necessarily that i think it's like that in terms of like mistakes or whatever like you know when you like fuck somebody that just is like someone you just thought that everybody just fucks right it might be cool but it's just like you know a slam pig if you kind of yes a slam a whole town an old town slam hole those girls yeah and heroes and it's always like you know it's like you know they're crazy and they're gonna try and pull some bullshit or whatever but they usually have a sense of humor about it right you know right i don't know i don't like going to like specific i feel you know the ones that it'll be like i'm pregnant or whatever right no you're not come on chill out so i gotta come over

here and talk sense into you and they're crying right right right it's like you're right i'm not pregnant then you get drunk and fuck them again and see that's like a better order for society because ever since yeah you're fucking retard ever since all this feminist mumbo jumbo right you can't have an old-fashioned town slam that's so true which is like everyone could go like when they're just ready to ready to commit a mass murder or something or tits around she's got a bell around her neck she's 600 pounds she's a cow she's just drunk with a big bell she's got udders stumbling through the town square she's like who's my husband today like i well i got laid off from papa johns i guess i can right come over to your shitty

apartment i think that that makes the society function better and fuck you and then hang out with your roommate after oh that's fun yeah yeah before we knew what retards were we just had the village idiot right town slam pig this is the town slam pig well that's i think they're here we're just it's like the volunteer fire department yeah exact also retarded people like my house is burning down sorry ma'am what a volunteer you're all just holding a giant stick oh fuck yeah that's true adam we should get if you guys listening get out there become a slam pig yeah and there's a lot of there you know the whole thing about how there's no dignity in that

that's what society wants to tell you so true there's a there's a ton of sex work is work yeah well it's not even sex it's not even sex work volunteer sex work is volunteer yeah it's volunteer sex i will say though that like there is something nice about like just uh an intelligent whore absolutely you know those girls yeah they're like really smart but they're like you don't feel like fucked up right you don't feel like you're tricking them oh yeah of course no they know they know what they want they know the deal yeah yeah those well they're taking advantage of you shout out to those girls they're taking advantage of you more than your day advantage of them i don't know about it it's kind of i think it's i think it's more pure transaction you don't

certainly not true but at least everyone knows what the score is i guess that's probably more accurate yeah this is love line with dr drew and adam corolla adam corolla here today we're proving that black people are a myth where the fuck are they i've never seen them my man took a true hard ass turn after a while yeah i remember yeah i was a i was a love line fan i was i was listening to some of the adam corolla stuff like the podcast in college and then i was like i remember exactly when i was like oh fuck i was like i had i made a big evening out of it where i was fucking i was i got pizza from the dining hall or you know you swiped my meal yeah that's a pizza was really looking forward to it had the adam corolla had the adam corolla just a fat young

stop with long hair already balding just stringy long hair i had short hair at the time my zeppelin shirt that's right way too small it was a barbecue sauce i know exactly what let's bring up bring a pizza i was a little fat pizza back to a different era never had sex i did not have no idea what year until i had sex no idea no i did one year it would be one year until i knew the pleasures of pussy wait wait continue set the scene and uh so i get back got your pizza got my pizza this is in the days where i didn't have a i don't think i even had a smartphone i was listening on my computer yeah and uh uh you know brought it up and adam corolla was just going on a rant about how welfare is fucking wrong and like everyone that's on welfare as a piece of shit yeah and i was just

like what the fuck i want you to say you know call someone gay or so you know make fun of donny yeah from when you grew up but now he's just talking about these welfare he literally was talking about popping out kids to get more money literally talking about the government it was brutal man yeah and i was like come on man you you the man show guy the juggies i wonder if i'll turn into that you may i mean a lot of me think i will i don't i really can't see it i think that that's the other thing is like i think that if you were to become alt right you would have done it before alt right was a thing yeah you're right i am cool i think i am you're right i am supremely cool yeah always oh i taste maker no because like i think that you there were a lot of things that

you had your ear to the ground about that have become you know like when you were talking about campus sex politics things that was like pre me too and then it completely blew up a couple years later yeah i guess i was right about everything and you were right yeah i'm saying that if you're going to be a reactionary you would have become a full reactionary four years ago so what's the next move then nick what do you think you're gay i'll just gay and happy yeah i'm telling you i'm like i know you think i'm dumb throw all your money in the crypto car all right all right it'll be the next move there it might take a year another year but it's not dead there will be shit you can't make money i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna chill on that okay all right you know what i'm

getting into stop sports memorabilia that's really that's that's my investment what do you got the market if it hasn't found it has found a bottom it will soon i think it did find the bottom his name was nick mullin no jokes on you that's not even my fucking name anymore so that's my name now for years the move it's not the next name snake piss diablo that's cool that's my name respect does snake piss diablo become a reactionary yeah that's your fucking what's that wizards name that said the n word that we made fun of all the more yeah yeah yeah the uncut scene the director's cut what was it yeah we did that thing about him working at the sword store for the chinese person what's his name asgard or something asgar yeah

who cares fuck him we're talking about wizards some guys got a stupid name some fat british guy they got banned from patreon was fucking on sargon sargon not asgard yeah what a fucking he didn't try to get us cancelled no his friend or his fan oh yeah whatever man fuck him about sargon baby gone yeah i remember that move that guy being pedophiled in boston gone baby gone was good i think i kind of didn't like now all those like dennis lehain adaptations or uh well that was like i was led the baby live with the cops and have a good life and not with their parents i used to like mr was that the message i forget i like a mystic river as a teenager and then i watch it again as adult and i guess the real mystery is why i enjoyed that film

if you ask me um that's you know what that's probably how that's how i feel about gone baby gone um i remember watching was it like whenever whenever first came out college and being like damn deep i watched bits and pieces my roommates were watching it recently and i popped in some of the pieces hold up but i didn't watch the whole movie to be fair all right it's about right it's about a kid who has like crackhead parents yeah and like and they try to take him away adopts her or like steals her the cop steal like they say she's she's yeah and then they put someone in jail who had already fucked kids they oh they put her already guilty person so it was like it was like the cops saw it as like we're gonna get this scumbag off the streets we're gonna get this

save the kid from these fucking crackheads you know no way you got to send him back to the parents ellion gonzalez what's ellion up to these days he's with he's in cuba he's getting his dick he got a little operation carlo oh he had a little operation working on classic girls change his name to alexandria whoa then he's debusted in rule you should fucking you should make a meme you have to shit is everything okay well we should i mean we're oh you have to take like six bathroom breaks during the show your stomach has been fucked up i just i well i do pee a lot in general sure i know that i wish i i wish i still had that problem my stomach is not fucked up but i

did take a shit before the show i know it smells horrible my body's made out of salt yeah i'm like a desert mm-hmm i'm like a guia monster a gila gilla monster gilla monster snake piss diablo aka the gilla monster the gilla monster of radio whoa dude are you serious yeah well everyone go see snake piss diablo in in chicago on march what is it first or second or some shit i will be at mother fucking la this sunday the second or i'm sorry saturday the second i'm gonna be there i'll also be it's gonna be super if you have a good party i'm not coming to it how about fucking a tattoo of stone cold steve austin right but his arms are cobras you know like in the picture but then the cobras are just passionately

sucking his eyes closed mm-hmm that's really good so la on the second please come see me at the lodge room there's a few tickets left for that let's sell that motherfucker out the late show and then i'm in hartford on the 16th at the elbow room and in delaware i'm bringing ian fight ants with me making up a date on the big mistake in the 22nd of february it will be a mistake the odds are he will stop at it at the rest stop and suck off a guy and i'll lose him on the way down but we got any truckers in here stopby dot biz slash tour for those but yeah please fucking come out guys i'll be promoting him all that shit and we got a fucking funny mom's popping off on the 11th my birthday show

that's my actual birthday i turned 30 years old on that day and again the offer stands if anyone can beat me in a sword fight you are allowed to replace me on the show but it is a fight to the death and then big news march 30th we've teased this a little bit by now when this show comes out the ticket should be out we are doing a live podcast and a stand-up show at the black cat dc as part of us the stand-up underground summer festival march 30th come to one show come to one show come to both come to one we're doing stand-up and a live pod it's going to be very fun am i on the show you are on the show we discussed this we talked about the tickets are free folks tickets are not free they'll be twenty dollars each please uh so yeah listen forty dollar night to see to spend hours

with your boys and remember that stavros is the sub-boss of said aforementioned said sword fight and you will fight him goro style which i i just what is goro style i don't know you both have four arms okay that sounds hot uh no you're both completely nude okay save for a ponytail i love it i wish pubes grew out indefinitely you know what i mean i would have such a cool ponytail what have you ever tried to completely grow your pubes out yeah i let them go for like years really oh yeah i just like didn't that's like you know well i was gonna say if i'm like in a relationship with somebody and i'm full pubes it's like i don't care that's a sign so if you ever find yourself dating nick moan and he's got that little fro yeah you know he's checked out emotionally

yeah dude if we're going if we're just if it's just a mess if everything just smells bad constantly because i don't shower either oh yeah you're fucked you're fucked you're fucked bitch um all right it's time for you to move on which you'll probably do which you'll do probably a little too late guess guess what it's time for you to come to your senses and you knew this day was coming honestly if you're being honest with yourself if you're being honest with yourself i'm not he's not emotionally available i've never been there's no there's nothing that changed i was never here nothing is different it's been like this the entire time

so yes we'll leave you with that adam anything you'd like to plug just took a nice dump god damn it dude it's gonna smell horrible when i go in there to take a piss isn't it i can light a match or something yeah maybe you should have men yeah maybe you should i got i got some things maybe to plug maybe maybe you should have yeah adam look it's me your cousin israel it's your cousin from israel oh my god the pictures of you having sex again cousin more to hide it's me cousin cousin more more the guys more more more more the guys and i'm here just say i'm gay all right well that's a gay cousin from israel i'm having fun i love broadcasting goodbye everyone