The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 142 – Chelsea Clinton RACIST

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

chelsea clinton EXPOSED for being anti jewish anti semite, wants to kill all jews. chelsea PROMISES new holocaust if hillary elected...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, it's Valentine's Day folks. You know what that means. You're at home by yourself listening to the podcast. Maybe you're beating off. Maybe you're thinking about all the women in your life or men that you sucked off or ate their pussies off. But now you're alone bitch. It's just us. And I want to give a special Valentine's Day shout out to Miss Chelsea Clinton. Adam's motherfucking Valentine. My wife. Gerald friend. Chelsea. And Gerald friend. Yeah. Is that your match? He's flirting with you. Chelsea. Mm hmm. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think I think Dosh is feeling the heat. And that's really what I want. So it's a win win for me. That's good. She's like Hillary's face with Bill's body fat percentage. It's a beautiful
Starting point is 00:00:58 combination. Bill's not fat. He's skinny now. Old Bill dude. Phil Harman making fun of. I think she's pretty skinny. Her face is kind of fucked up looking. Yeah. Her chin. She's got Bill Clinton's jaw. You know the main point is that I learned a lot about anti what anti Semitism is from her. What is that exactly. I've never heard that word. Basically you're not allowed to to as a Jewish person make a joke about how we're all ugly because that's anti Semitic to myself. It's funny. It's like she goes the the ugly Jew is a centuries old trope and it's like is it. I mean they're cheap and they control the government but it's not like that. The the portrait of the money lender guy. Sure. But is it was the
Starting point is 00:01:48 point of that that he's ugly. Well then he's kind of like the hook the hook nose has been around for the hook nose. But no one ever says that's ugly. They're just like it's less ugly than it is phenotypes. Yeah. Or that that may be but no one ever said they're ugly. People have said they're ugly including myself. I think I don't know if that's a century old trope. It's it's like I don't know telling you like vermin. That's part of the trope telling a Jew like that they can't make a self deprecating joke. It's like maybe I'm wrong here but it's like Chelsea Clinton going up to black people and say you know that word has a lot of history behind it. You guys are being racist. Yeah. But if if she was supporting
Starting point is 00:02:31 like a Blue Lives Matter caucus. And yeah that's also the main thing is like a pack and suck my hard cock. Yeah. It's like we're not supposed to think that there's a fucking Jewish conspiracy over our government. It's awesome when literally every single member of Congress buried this woman for just saying that people spend money on lobbying to have influencing government like that. But they're there. She literally did not say anything beyond it's literally what a lobby is. That is what a lobby is. And then she like apologized because she said all about the Benjamins. But like which is again what it is. But she meant like she meant Benjamin not as Netanyahu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah that sucked
Starting point is 00:03:17 dick. It was also the most hilarious thing of all time to be like wow can you believe this woman is anti-semitically claiming Jews control our government. Less than 24 hours later she's like I am an anti-semit. So just acknowledging the existence of a pack makes me it really just makes Jews look terrible. The best part is it really just makes it look like there is a Jewish conspiracy. Well there is. But also I heard that she said she had to let Sheldon Adelson wipe his ass with her hijab. That was the punishment as an apology. He's just on all fours. Yeah. He has his diaper removed. And then they pressed the button on the computer that keeps him alive to produce feces out of his ass. And he went directly
Starting point is 00:04:09 under a hijab. Computer stop molestation run running remolestation program. Begin running shitting. He's so funny because it's like just die. I know. If you look like that just died. When I was a kid I would see him in Vegas in a fucking motorized scooter surrounded by like five ex Mossad guys. Like he had security detail because he was a he was like a union buster. He didn't. He doesn't hire any unions for his hotels. Oh wow. So he's like paranoid. I'm a union buster. But I don't mean I'm in the busting. You're trying to bust in you. Yeah. Local four twenty six nine. I've been. I've been busting for twenty five years. My father was busting here before he was ever hired. I was a fucking serious.
Starting point is 00:04:51 You see this. This floor is baked. My boss. Nobody needs non slip shoes in here. You can go around. Put on fucking bowling alley shoes. You walk around this place. You stay on your feet. Even fucking hurricane winds come by. That's right. Turn a pair of fucking ballerina slippers in the gravity boots. That's right. Busters on the floor. The bus bus in the fucking whole goddamn industry. Yeah. I've been watching network television again. I got the antenna moved over to the other side of the room. So I can watch my precious Jeopardy. Did it fix it. It did. Jeopardy comes in now. I feel like Jeopardy's gotten easier. Maybe you're just more. No. I think they may be the older and smarter. No. And I mean in the last like
Starting point is 00:05:38 two or three years. Really. What are some of the questions now. I mean they're they're like like one of the categories was Bugs Bunny cartoons. And it's like I don't I haven't seen a single I don't know anything about Bugs Bunny but it's all like like the fucking the what is it $2,000 for the top tier question. It was like just a picture of Marvin the Martian and it's like this guy. What is Marvin the Martian. What is Marvin the Martian. This Jeopardy host used to have a mustache. Right. As easy as a taxi cab Jeopardy. Right. That's the good shit. Yeah. Yeah. I feel smart in taxi cabs. Yeah. Well I want to talk about the other more about Jews for a second though. Yeah. Let's go a while ago. I just realized
Starting point is 00:06:26 I watched some documentary. Isn't like a bunch of people who support a pack like crazy fundamentalist that like want Jews to have. Yeah. The Holy Land so that like God can come back. Yeah. Yeah. But they don't they're not they don't like you. In fact no no. God is probably going to kill them right when he comes back. They'll bring the rapture if there's a holy war between Jews and Muslims in the Holy Land. Yes. So literally they want Jews to support. They want to support people dying. Yes. On both sides because they think that that will bring the rapture. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it makes sense. Like imagine if black people were like we all need to leave America and go back to Africa. Mm hmm. It's like of course white nationalists
Starting point is 00:07:08 would love that. Oh that's right. It's like we need to do everything we can to protect them. Yeah. Yep. Isn't that what Marcus Garvey wanted to do. It is. Why weren't they supporting my man Marcus dude. Who. White nationalists. They did. Did they. Yeah. Damn. They were boys. Yeah. Was he boys. Well that's why that's why there's like a Marcus Garvey Boulevard in Brooklyn because when this was all Italians they were like yeah how about go back to Africa Avenue. That's there's no there's no MLK Boulevard in Brooklyn. That is true. There is in the X in Harlem. Wait there is. I drove down it actually on my way here. Stop. Just stop. No Harlem has Malcolm X. Oh yeah we have Malcolm X here too. Yeah. Dude I love that guy. Malcolm
Starting point is 00:08:03 X. Yeah dude so sick. Sean King. Sean King. Dude that's the funniest place on the Internet as Sean King's mentions. People are literally everything he tweets is like we're raising five million dollars for black girls so they can go into STEM and then the first comment is like Sean King is white. Yeah. Yeah. They call they call him. Well it was originally like storm front and all right people calling him talcamax but now black people have started calling him talcamax. That Martin Luther cream. Those are good. Those are good. Those are good. Those are good bits. I know it's mean. Marcus Gravy there. Gravy that goes on biscuits. I know they're raising a guy's identity but you know then again he potentially did steal
Starting point is 00:08:47 money for vacations and shit. Yeah. Yeah. So you know fuck him also. If that's true. From like people giving money to like Black Lives Matter. Oh shit work like charities and stuff. What's his story. I don't really know much about him but so he's got like white parents but his mom cheated on his dad with a black guy. I think you told me that. So I don't know. I don't really know. That's what happened that because on his birth certificate is a white guy but it turned out he got he's like a poster basically he like he like posts like police brutality shit and then he's like let's find out who these people are or some shit interesting. I don't know. I have nothing against the man. Well you said you said fuck
Starting point is 00:09:33 him. But you know who I do have something against. That's Chelsea fucking. What a fucking loser. What an absolute loser. Name searching. Can you imagine being the heir to a fortune of probably a half a billion dollars. Like fucking all them all that fucking Goldman Sachs growing up in the fucking White House. Well they take the money away from me if somebody owns you online. Oh really. Do I get that money. Well no it goes to the state. It goes to the state. Oh it goes to the state. Yeah that makes sense. Can you imagine being so fucking insecure that you name search yourself on Twitter and you try to get in arguments with a guy from a podcast called Come Hell. Well she doesn't even know you're just a guy.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Just anyone. Just some random. There's no I guess you have like followers so that maybe that's why she goes after people with like a following to get a little buzz going or some shit. Yeah. I don't know dude. Yeah. My men she's a mess. I just have like Cheryl. It's like it's like they're always named like Cindy and then like like nine numbers afterwards to one to six which I can only hope are their social skills. Let's try. The best one by far is is someone just posting my avatar of Chris Bosch and saying like you're calling Chelsea ugly. Look how ugly you are. How dare that was amazing where she's like dragging the former power forward for the heat and
Starting point is 00:11:05 raptors. Put your hall of fame or Chris Bosch whose career was unfortunately cut short railed by some kind of heart issue and he was also called gay by his teammates. Everyone called him gay because he liked to read and instead of going to the club program. Everyone called him gay because he didn't have any illegitimate children. It is literally the most middle school reason to call someone because they like to read it. We should also call him a catfish. He'd like to move of taking my glasses and then putting them on other people and then calling them for us. Oh that's interesting. That's a good move. Yeah. Well how would they react. He does. Dr. Ross also has some wild. He's got a weird
Starting point is 00:11:52 a weird body. Why is the eyebrows going so hard. He's a really poking out of that little purple satin shirt he's got on Dr. Paws. He does look like he has those big nipples that some gay guys have. You know where they really milk them to look nice. Yeah. I know that thing. They all got dinner plates. No he's not wrong. They're called bull nips. There's a thank you. There's a YouTube community of like older gay guys that smoke cigars wearing like a leather daddy hat and like blow the smoke at the camera while they like they use like little suction devices to make their yes. Thank you. And it's my favorite. And then the comments are like love it. We'd love to suck on those nipples when you blow that
Starting point is 00:12:37 cigar smoke in my face. People want to jack off to everything. Yeah I know. That's such a hilarious combination of big ass nipples and like a cigar smoke for them. And I just love that it's on the same website where you're like a click away from like you know like cute doggo you know make friends with a kitty cat. Yeah. Someone's using that website to like learn how to do algebra. And I know like yeah it would be like if like like somebody was like it goes into a public library and they're like yes I'm looking for the children's book section for my daughter. They're like oh yes it's it's right there in between periodicals and child pornography. You can just go right through that section and that's where it goes.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Gaped assholes go right into the children's section. Well you see that man with the cigar in the bull nips. Well walk past him and that's where the door of the Explorer books are. If you see a man smoking a cigar out of another man's ass you've gone too far. So they like big silver dollar dinner plate nips. Yeah they have like regular it's not like they have titties but they have the nipples of someone with titties. Like a big breast. Exactly it's bizarre. That's that's fucking weird. But good for them though. So anyway that's what Dr. Oz's nipples. I have alarmingly small nipples. I got a nice size. I got I got real tiny. Yeah here you go. Here's here's on porn hub. Here's. Oh no dude that guy's nips. Whatever
Starting point is 00:14:13 those things are smoking the cigar and he's making his nipples bigger with these ripe smoker cigar smoker playing with hairy nipples. Oh my god. It looks like Macho Man Randy Savage after he like went biker. Jesus fucking Christ dude that guy's nipples are so long. Does he shave his armpits too. No. No he doesn't shave anything. Oh god. Oh he's putting the under so he gets a sense of scale. Now I don't understand like what. What are you jacking off. I guess than sucking the nipples. Maybe he appears to be like. Here we go. This is a video of a guy that looks just like fucking. What's his name. Have a nice day. Mick Foley. He does. Yeah. Like Mick Foley with three fingers in his ass. Three fingers asshole in the title
Starting point is 00:15:04 of the video is wet pussy. It's verified. So he's a user. Yeah. Yeah. This is named sugar ditches. Yeah. He looks just like Mick Foley. Yeah. Everyone we were literally watching gay pornography on the show now. I should have said. He has an ass plug in. He has an ass plug in. He's about to shit out the ass plug. No. I can't watch. That's too much for me. Other people have other preferences. Yeah. Good for them. We support them. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. The anonymous Trump official daily caller Screed is pure mega bait. Is that still on Pornhub. Yeah. I saw some video of like like that. You know that website now this like news clips out of context with dramatic music. Yeah. You know they did some
Starting point is 00:15:58 video to prove that Donald Trump was being racist against Native Americans in 1993 when he was like looking for like casino funding. Mm hmm. And he just makes them like dumb. I mean the point he's making is stupid. Yeah. You know he's like he's like talking about like you're not even checking to make sure that these Native Americans are actually Native Americans. You go to these casinos. He's like they don't look like Native Americans to me. And I don't know what fucking some congressman from 25 years ago is like he's like how dare you sir. He's like do you know how often that that claim has been made in history. They don't look like Jews to me. And it's like what are you talking about. Yeah. That wasn't like
Starting point is 00:16:38 an issue like in the Holocaust. No one's ever said they exonerated the Jew like what the fuck are you saying. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah how they don't look like Jews to me. There's so many ways we're not going to kill them. Send them away. There's so many ways like Trump was just like during his campaign said so many things that were like just racist. Yeah. And like calling for violence. And you can purely racist. And you can point at those things and now they have to like reach because they already covered all of those things. Yeah people are like I really care. Yeah. The fucking video of him imitating that disabled guy. I mean. So much of like. So much of Trump coverage is literally just pornography for
Starting point is 00:17:21 liberals. Uh huh. Yeah. They fucking jack off to now this video. Yeah. Right. If Trump released a video of him saying the n word while enlarging his nipples. Oh yeah. Smoking a big smoke and a cigar. Romeo Iulieta. They're like see. I knew it. I told you. He's appropriating daddy culture. That guy fingering his wet pussy watching the Trump video. That would be so funny if Trump came back with a fucking beard for the new election. Yeah. Just looks fucking like a gay guy. Did you get off Twitter before this Esquire thing happened. What Esquire thing. No. Did you see this. I saw. Yeah. They did a cover story on like a teenage conservative boy or some shit or some. Yeah. I guess like the cover of Esquire was like a white teenage
Starting point is 00:18:07 boy. Uh huh. And they did a profile on like what it's like to be like a white teenage boy in the Midwest who's like a Trump supporter. Yeah. And people were like cancel this. How dare they were like even write this article. Uh huh. There was some huge huge issue about it. What was the hang on social media. I didn't know. I haven't seen shit. It just seems to be the thing this week. Yeah. I've missed everything too. It's been kind of nice. Yeah. I watched that movie Reds yesterday. Dasha took my phone away. Bruce Willis. No. Warren Beatty. That's all. Yeah. Warren Beatty and Bruce Willis. We're talking about the Holocaust earlier. Do you think like a guy who wasn't Jewish that looked kind of Jewish got God.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Of course. But what if he was a circus. Do you think they checked the ultimate way to get out of their way. The synagogues and they like got like registers of they was well they also literally yes they would check to see if you were circumcised. Oh really. Yeah. Damn. And they did also throw people in camps who didn't even know they were Jewish but had like a Jewish grandparents or parents even if they were if they were uncircumcised. This is where I come in on the issue. I want to make sure no one uncircumcised got killed in the Holocaust. I would have been fine. I just I worry about my uncircued brothers. I'm going to do the uncircumcised Holocaust Memorial. Just the gypsies and one random guy found out that
Starting point is 00:19:30 they had plenty of food in the concentration cancer. There was just one guy that looked like stuff. Just getting like thirds out of food. We're fighting a war. We don't have any more money for food. Salute to him my spiritual ancestor. I would love for just sorry to keep going back to this guys. No please how are you feeling. I would love for Chelsea Clinton to like like retweet a picture of Mel Brooks dressed as Hitler and be like listen this is anti-Semitic. This is like Hitler actually killed six million Jews. And while you think it's funny it's not very funny that six million people. There's literally an episode of Kerb where he throws a dollar bill in the middle of a room. Do you remember that episode there
Starting point is 00:20:18 at that funeral. And all those like 50 old Jews are like fighting for the dollar bill. It's like all Jews like especially in comedy just say anti-Semitic self deprecating things. It is a pillar of like yeah it's the fucking because we're all thinking it. We're all thinking and we all get to watch it. It's insane. It's insane how like and it's true how the fucking pro-Israel lobby has now co-opted like canceling people. It is pretty funny and like call out culture and stuff. The ways you get canceled by pro-Israel lobby. Just to defend ethnic cleansing. To defend just crimes against humanity. What was the first tweet she said about Oman or whatever. Didn't she say as an American or some shit. Yeah Chelsea. Yeah whatever.
Starting point is 00:21:07 What a fucking whore. Fuck her. Fuck Chelsea Clinton. You lost. You lost to Trump. Hey bitch. Why don't they just go away. Yeah. Why don't they go away. Shouldn't they be ashamed of themselves. Your dumb ass mom lost to Trump. You fucking idiot. Just go away. Just be rich. Just be rich somewhere. I know for the rest of your life. Just eat at nice restaurants. Do you think she was already rich for the beginning of her life. Yeah because she came out of she just got nothing out of the right. Nothing's changed. It's not like you fucking you know hit the jackpot. What do you think she does. What do you think she does for fun Chelsea Clinton. She fucking explains anti-Semitism to Jewish. She probably plays the new Nintendo
Starting point is 00:21:54 switch. Oh yeah. Available in GameStop now. It is not officially brought to you by Nintendo switch but it's pretty tight. Did you get it. Yeah. Is that why you mentioned it on the pot. We've been playing. Wait I thought you said that there was a new switch. Just now you know when did it come out like nine. Yeah it came out. No it came out like 15 years ago. Yeah. I should just get one. Yeah you should. I stopped playing it though for a while. I got to get back in the zone. I got to take a shit like the Dickens. Oh yeah right now. Yeah. What are you shitting out. What did you eat. I get there's a mission Chinese in Brooklyn now. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's too salty. It's the it's the best. What's
Starting point is 00:22:37 mission Chinese. The best Chinese. Well it's not Chinese food. It's like. What is it. Explain. It's like Asian. They got like a Dan Dan noodle ramen. OK. Like spicy peanut. They got dumplings and shit. It's like. Yeah. They're green tea noodle thing is very good. But yeah there's one in Chinatown I guess they just open one of rich. They sound in pain. Those yon sounded scared and then in pain. Yeah. I hope I get sent to a fucking Clinton Foundation Black Sight in Syria and they torture me and kill me. Is that what you want. Yeah that's what I want. I mean we are we are pushing up against the limit here where we're going to be murdered at some point. Everyone wants to kill me for being disrespectful to the elites. Lena Dunham
Starting point is 00:23:30 befriend trying to befriend Dasha the day after that is bizarre. That's awesome. It's such a stupid world. Personal friends with Chelsea Clinton. It doesn't make any fucking sense. She made a fucking rap video the day before the election. Like where she played where she was like Hillary Clinton's a gangster and stuff which I personally think was more damning than the Komi Komi. Yeah. I think that that did it. That's what did it completely. That was it. That was a really good rap video. Yeah. It's so funny. It's like they called Lena Dunham a human beanbag chair. Well I just think she heard it and was like yes. Well because right. Like sometimes if you're just fat you just want a hot person to be your
Starting point is 00:24:15 friend no matter how rich you are. Fat bitches want the approval of a skinny mean girl. It's a tale as old as time Adam. Beauty and the Beast. Yep. Yeah. Dasha. That's a great photo shot. A day a dick as long as mine for entire inches. It's hard. Oh it's off. No. No. So it's hard. But it doesn't get that much bigger. But a little bit. It's like are you a show or a grower. Technically both. That would be so frustrating to have like a five like a meaty five soft. Yeah. And then it just grows. I used to say this. I used to say this on stage but I was what if you have a show or not a grower which means that your dick is seven and a half inches flaccid. But when it gets hard it's 3.5. That would be pretty
Starting point is 00:25:17 good. So you dig. Then you would just force yourself to have gay sex all the time or whatever the opposite of your orientation is. So true. So you would get fucked in the ass and have your big ass dick slapping between your thighs. Yeah. You'd be like yeah I'm so into this. That's why it's so hard. That's why it's so big. And then when it's hard it looks small and it's because you pretend you're not. You're not. You're not into it. You become the opposite. Opposite man. The ultimate Batman. God damn it opposite man. I can't tell if it's hard or something. And you never will. Basta White. Some just want to have gay sex. But does he. But does he offer it. Do any
Starting point is 00:26:03 of us. Suck my little dick. I've never had straight sex. But that that plays mission Chinese that you brought up the chef the guy who like started that restaurant is a Korean guy who was adopted by Jewish people. So when he became an adult he like learned how to make Asian food. Stopping. That's good. Technically Chinese food is Jewish food. Yeah. You guys created it. Yeah. He's I love how Jews try and take control that just because it's the only thing open on Christmas. You're like it's actually Jewish. Yeah. We like we like Chinese food. Everyone loves Chinese food. Well I'll tell you what we really love here. What's that. Is a betting. Yes. Yeah. Take it away boys. Damn I if you guys ever heard
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Starting point is 00:32:56 is. It's me Mark Maron. Mark. Yeah that's pretty good. It's me Mark. It's pretty good Mark. Talking about stamp stock. I'm Mark Maron. Man. My name is Mark Maron. Yeah. I'm Mark Maron. Devin Franklin author of the truth about men. This guy was on the real prior to being on Dr. Ross. He's doing a media. He's doing a media tour. Dude that real show is fucking terrible. It's like black. Is that the fake view. It's four black women three black women and then one Chinese lady that talks like a black woman. Right. Like she's like yeah yeah she was like she was like well I just got to say not now that she's famous now that she's famous. She's gone back to yes she was appropriating. Yeah now that this
Starting point is 00:33:43 guy well this guy goes on and talk about like I guess he wrote a book about that Gillette commercial. The same he's like he's like it's up to us as men to be better and then like all the women in the audience. How the fuck did he write a book about the Gillette commercial it came out like a week. No I mean it's the same tone. Yeah. Gillette commercial. I thought he was like I saw this commercial and then I took so much Adderall and I wrote 300 pages. We could write a book. Basically the argument is that men should go back to acting like they did in the 1950s. Which was classic man. Which is what the point of the jet Gillette commercial was whether they think it was or not. Right. Yeah. It was kind of a trad
Starting point is 00:34:19 thing. Right. Yeah. But this. Yeah. So I don't know but he's on he's on there with Tia. Yep. Which how one of the ball over which one got the job. Does one have a better post sister sister career than the other. I don't know. They share one husband. I bet you really. Yeah. They share everything. Really. Yeah. Taj. Barry. Smart guy. Oh they're brother. They fuck him. They keep it in the family. Game of Thrones. Cersei and fucking Jamie type shit. Yep. And he just gets to he just sucks and fucks double teamed by his sisters. That's pretty cool. That's a pretty smart guy move if you ask me. Yeah. Sounds pretty intelligent to me. Get double the pussy. Keep it in the fam. That's the best kind of pussy. You know
Starting point is 00:35:06 maybe I should read this guy's book. The truth about Franklin's book. Is that Ray Charles about Ray Charles. I guess. Wait. That isn't that Jamie Foxx has Ray Charles. No that's Ray Charles. Are you sure. I think it was Ray. I don't know. It's clearly. I don't know. It's not only Ray Charles. No mother fucker. That's a picture of Jamie. Yeah. Why the fuck would he bring it up then. It was the other. I guarantee you. We're watching Dr. Oz. Dr. Oz with with the fucking Devin Franklin. Look it up. Let us know if it was a picture of Jamie Foxx. Look at the way Dr. Oz is sitting. He is absolutely crushing his testicles. He didn't have nuts. He had them removed and put into his breath. No. That's right. So
Starting point is 00:35:45 you can say transphobic things. Yeah. He's a Charles Clymer special. Damn dude. Dude I'm telling you I was right. Charles Clymer going into bottom surgery. The doctor's like are you sure you want to do this. He's like I cannot lose my followers. Who's Charles Clapper. I guess he's Charlotte Clymer. Charlotte Clymer. She lost an argument on Twitter and then came out as trans. There was yeah there was an argument happening and in the middle of the argument she was like I'm actually trans. Whoa respect. Yeah. Honestly true respect for that one. Yeah. Yeah. Getting your nuts chopped off. She's like one of those like it's funny. This is like people I forgot like I forgot about. I was thinking about like the
Starting point is 00:36:31 toast the other day. I don't know if you remember that website. No. It was all it was like jokes for like women. It was like it was sort of a chive. Chive. No it was like shouts and murmurs or fucking McSweeney's for like girls that got an English degree. So wait isn't that what McSweeney's is. It's for. Yeah. Well McSweeney's is for like both genders. Oh gosh. It's like a text from Ernest Hemingway. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. And toxic masculinity. The kind of gifts. But anyways. I hadn't seen anything from Mallory Ortberg in forever. I was like what the fuck happened to Mallory Ortberg. It's Mallory Ortberg is now a man. No. Yeah. Who's Mallory Ortberg. Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:37:19 The person that found the toast. The toast. Yeah. Oh shit. So it was a man's website all along. So I guess you can say their penis toast. Which is not. That would be if it was the other way around. Oh yeah. No. They're pussy's toast I guess. Their titties are toast. Yeah. What would the man version of toast be. A better type of breakfast. Pancakes maybe. French toast. A lumberjack. Texas toast. Texas. Man only. A ham steak. Breakfast burrito. Bagel. With cream cheese. You think the secret service is listening to this. Yeah. Probably. They are definitely. If you're a hot secret service lady and you want to give me some pussy please DM me. Yeah. And when I called him or Chelsea a whore earlier I met it because
Starting point is 00:38:12 for money. Yeah. I guess stop. Stop offering to have sex through the federal agent is worse than a death threat. That's worse than threatening to kill. I'm saying if you want to if that's your thing. Ladies and gentlemen the jury we're going to show you pictures of Stavros Halkius's body. Not guilty of his penis based on his own work. And we don't do this to traumatize you but to demonstrate the viciousness of this off the jury. Oh my God. And the pain he intended to flick upon our agents that protect the freedom and liberties of this country every single day of their lives. They put it out on the line and they do it so that you say the Pledge of Allegiance not so some morbidly obese Greek bastard can threaten them with
Starting point is 00:39:06 his objection regular obese your honor. Shriveled child penis. His premature penis. The doctor said it's a miracle my dick was born. Yeah. Stavros just had to go around all the time as dick in an incubator. There's a little box. There's other dicks like holding hands and watching through the window. Other full grown dicks. Come on little buddy you can do it. I don't think she's going to make it. It's a boy god damn it. It's a girl. It's absolutely my dick. She is gay. But yeah. Aside from what Nick said if you are a federal agent listening and you want to have sex with me. Let's go for a federal agent agent Jackson you're on line one. Yeah I just think it's I think it's really messed up that Stavros
Starting point is 00:40:05 guy said that that I could have sex with him. Okay. I'm a hot ass fucking agent. I'm hot as shit and I big ass titties. Yeah. And I want to fuck him. Oh thank you so much. Stav you were doing a that was handsome. I'm of a phone next year. No I literally just my thumb dude. I was about to do it but I just did this to play it off. Yeah it's called being an actor Adam. I have to get into the character. Okay. I mean I didn't know one could tell that wasn't me. But you had to give it away. Dr. Dr. suck me the dick. I got a bad case of being gay. Yeah. Speaking of if you're out there and you got a bad case of being gay you know what might help you out buying a new pair of boots. You get yourself
Starting point is 00:41:07 some cool boots. Stop around. Straight as hell. Stomp on some nuts. Well tell you what guys I don't know what kind of fucking boots you guys like. You know I like good ones that are good. There's work boots you know. I mean I don't know which one. Why does Jake keep well Stav personally might not like work. No I mean ding. No you already I don't remember maybe you prefer delicate fashion boots. No fuck that. Or maybe cheap boots that fall apart after absolutely no we're selling out $400 or more for a pair of boots to get you through one season. Fuck that shit. I hate all that shit. Well guess what there's another option. Yes. Do you know what it is. Do you know what it is. Getting your cock sucked
Starting point is 00:41:53 by a guy who works at the. It's getting your dick sucked by a federal agent. But say fuck you to those goods. Goose stepping boots down there. Secret service. Trying to tell us we can't threaten the president and make our own money. With our faces on it. I'll tell you what when I'm threatening to kill the president and printing my own money there's nothing I love more than wearing Thursday. No I just like wearing them. Our four year of activity. A four year old bootstrap start up that's been shaking up the industry like Chelsea Clinton's new baby which we plan we will break into her house. No we will not wear it. No we're not going to do it. Officially sponsored by the Secret Service of the United
Starting point is 00:42:48 States. We wouldn't be wearing Thursday boots if we were doing it. Come down here for the Secret Service of the United States teaming up with Thursday boots. We are not teaming up. As members of the Secret Service we promise to keep this country safe and we recognize that Chelsea Clinton is the enemy. No we don't. Thursday boot company a four year old bootstrap start up. They've been shaking up that industry by making really ridiculously high quality boots they sell directly to the consumer at unbeatable prices. Unbeatable much like Donald Trump who the Clinton family will never be. I'll give you that one. If she runs for something. No no no. Why I stop her. No that's Nick Mullins speaking. I'm stop her. Hey everybody.
Starting point is 00:43:43 That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking to you holding your cheese to make them fat. But directly through the chicken that's now in my mouth to say that I will personally kill Chelsea. I am stop Rose. I will not kill her. And I'm at this counts as a confession to the Secret Service directly. Brent started in 2014 and the name Thursday came about because on Thursday you work hard but it's also the unofficial start of the weekend. So true. We all know that classic weekend. We all know. Love it. Love work Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Wednesday we realize fuck we haven't recorded this week's episode. We're part of we're part of the gig economy. So we don't have any weekends. It's just nonstop. We're
Starting point is 00:44:33 always working on working dude. Just gigging 24 7 gig and 20 gig and driving Uber delivering caviar playing guitar in the Anthony Coomia band. The guitars for me and then it could be a band. I drive for Lyft Juno Uber. I'm now on a new app where you can hire a surgeon to come to your house if you don't have all the insurance five bucks and it's called five or five bucks. I'll do the surgery. Who needs insurance. We have a guy in Silicon Valley who can make more money than the person doing the surgery. It all goes back to the venture camp. All like. Did you know that 99% of the money goes to the contractor after fees. Brent started in 2014 and the name Thursday and so about some of the fucking weekend here.
Starting point is 00:45:27 That's who gives a shit with the name. It's cool. Oh yeah. It's cool. Durable enough to take the serious beating and sophisticated enough to clean up for a date so you can fuck the shoes and wear them while flocking. That's so true. That's what I will support that. They're built for men and women or the other. Any whatever gender you are. Or they them's we're gonna. They them throw these motherfucking suits on you. Whatever you identify. Whatever you identify and if you're if you're of your other can out there you know you think you're a dragon. Maybe a chimera. Is that where you're a bunch of different shit. Maybe. Listen if we have any people that identifies millipedes go to Thursday boots and buy a thousand pairs
Starting point is 00:46:08 and years. Put your money where you're fucking. Yeah. Exactly. Because I want to get serious for a second. Please do. If you're one of these fucking pieces of shit is out there pretending to be some kind of bug. You know. Yeah. You think you're oh I'm actually a spider. You want to draw pictures of yourself as a spider. Why boots bitch. Why aren't you wearing eight pairs of shoes. Or I guess four. But yeah. Spiders have a shoes. Yeah. The pair refers to one shoe. OK. I did they change that recently. I just decided something guys. Hold on. We have to keep talking about Thursday. I have an announcement to make. What is it. What is it. No we'll say it after Thursday. We'll say it after Thursday. Made in the same North
Starting point is 00:46:52 American manufacturing facilities as the heritage brand your parents and grandparents wore that sell for two three times the price. This is true guys. Most of their factories used to be internment camps. No it isn't true. No. Sorry. I tapped over. I was reading something else here. That's your personal. Keep your personal website away from the business. Yeah. A lot of people know this but bet the SI was a plantation. Thursday boots was an internment camp. Thursday boots are not only a better value but they use better materials to like the famous chrome excel leather from the Horween tannery in Chicago. That's where Harry Potter goes to have gay sex. That's right. That's where he goes and he finds out he's gay.
Starting point is 00:47:32 What the fuck is J.K. Rowling. Or a gay guy Harry. She stopped writing books like 15 years ago. Well she's doing a Chelsea where she's just like Jeremy Corbin is an anti-Semite. You can actually shove the book in your ass and let it fuck you. Yeah. The books the books themselves are gay. A lot of people don't know that. You can sandwich your dick in between the pages and fuck the books. That is correct. It's so funny though that like because I remember when Harry Potter came out back when like the most insane people in culture were still conservative Christians and not like rank and file liberals and like Harry Potter is like this is witchcraft. Yeah. Yeah. This is poisoning people that don't
Starting point is 00:48:10 like Halloween and then like now J.K. Rowling is like well Dumbledore was trying to teach four year olds that they should suck each other off. That was kind of the point is it was trying to tell children that it's OK to sodomize each other. A good service done. Yeah. Right. Call the action here with prices starting at $149 in free shipping and returns Thursday boots are the best buy for this winter and with their clean timeless design and durability Thursday boots will keep you standing comfortably for years to come. They don't do sales or discounts. But if you head over to Thursday boots comm slash town that's right. Leave off the come part. Just town. They don't want that on their website. Which we understand
Starting point is 00:48:52 which I personally I don't. I think it's a cute name. Thursday boots comm slash town that's Thursday boots comm slash town and get free shipping and returns. Use my links to the boot people know I sent you Thursday boot comm slash town. Put some boots on your ugly fucking feet. Put some boots on your bitch. You know what I'm going to do. What's that. It's like a million dollar march. It's clear that Chelsea Clinton's like been doing this Twitter thing because she she has comms people. They're like we need to get you out there because you're going to be running for shit in the next couple years. No no no they want to groom her for office. Well 2020 is going to be like not 20. She's not running
Starting point is 00:49:30 20 in the world. She's not ready for 20 20 but she might run for like New York Senate or something when the first black president is a Republican. Yeah it will be Condoleezza probably Kamala Harris fucking clearly has hired whoever the fuck Hillary. Oh yeah you're trying to make her she has she has she's on the breakfast club talking about she smoked weed and used to listen to two punk and I'm just chilling in Cedar Rapids. Fucking loser. Well this is what I'm just chilling in Cedar Rapids. Whenever it's me Hillary Clinton here on on chat snap just chilling with the with the culture. It's me doing showing a pussy pic for Vine. All right so whenever. Popping my pussy everybody cap my pussy here on pussy
Starting point is 00:50:20 cap. It's me Hillary Clinton on chatterbait. Let's get those tokens. I've got the vibrating thing in my asshole right now. I love inches going off here. Every token makes a Bernie bro man. I will be doing private selling tickets to private. And then it like comes out that Saudi Arabia has been paying for private. Oh for sure. It turns out that all of her private come shows if you look up the IP addresses there in Riyadh they're all going right to that. That thing that the Mueller investigation is like uncovered that Israel like influenced the election and got Trump elected. I thought that people said that it's 100% true. It hasn't found anything. It's 100% true. There's no there's no way. That wouldn't surprise me.
Starting point is 00:51:15 There's no way to deny it. It wouldn't surprise me. If I had to guess Nick has seen that even one thing that says they invited me. It is not completely. I was shared with a private Google document but you know are impossible to forge. All right. Well I'm going to make my announcement. Announce please. When Chelsea Clinton announces that she's running for office I don't care if it's fucking God damn shows her. They're like the view is great. But now there's like this space. It's like four women with eating problems. Well that's a couple of these. That's Jordan Sparks. I remember her. That's Alex Gernichelli. She's a celebrity chef. Who. And this is also a chef. Oh yeah. She's on chopped. Yeah Alex. She sucks. She's
Starting point is 00:51:58 the worst one on chopped. She's trash. She's trash. The hot blonde one is sometimes on beat by women that look like the fat mannequins at Target. Can complain about something on Twitter. Two of them could get it. Her and the blonde one. All I'm saying is I'll have to go against me here. I am going actually you know what Ellen but I am go. Go ahead. I'm going to run against her. I'm going to run against that women can fuck her. The society never said that fat women were unfuckable. We just said that they're fat and no one wants to date them. No. And they can't live with that. I think they're hot and beautiful. Yeah but you don't want to date anybody. This is all bullshit. I do. I'm starting a new leaf.
Starting point is 00:52:37 I'm going to be I'm going to stop being a slut. Yeah. I'm going to be in a community relationship. Yeah. Come on. Hey what the fuck. I'm going to run against Chelsea Clinton with chocolate. You're going to run against Chelsea. What do you have to do to run. You have to sign some papers or something. Honestly. How do I get on the stage in a debate. I cannot wait. I'm going to be your campaign manager. Dude I told you I said at the live show but I'm voting for people. I don't care whether he runs or not. I'm putting people down. I want people to be president. Awesome. He's he's a Cuban American. So he's he's Mexican but he's still white. Excellent entertainer and pride from Florida swing state. Florida swing
Starting point is 00:53:21 state. He's got a good relationship with Microsoft. From the surface pro commercials I believe. He can't stop making hits. He's addicted to making hits. Did you know Kesha or that's a flow writer song actually. What. She sang that. She sang that. Bottom jeans. Maybe I have about jeans. Hey Kesha sang as a flow writer hook the hook on one a flow writer song and she didn't get any credit. She was uncredited because they didn't want it to fuck. Look at this weird posturing. I know. What is he doing. He just put on one thing. The amount of equipment that is required for Dr. Oz to come has to be incredible. I would love this if there if like there was a man that gets to interrupt to the view constantly.
Starting point is 00:54:08 You'd want to be that guy. He just comes out and he says things and interrupts the show. Well I don't know about that. You girls are fucking. Yeah. No I'd be honestly that's a pretty fucking stupid take. Barbara you kind of sound like a dumb. No look I don't want to look. Hey it's your show. I'm just saying you're a fucking idiot. Not really the view. I like the view. The views. The views somewhat legitimately do like it. Yeah. It's a pretty good show. The conversation on the view isn't an entirely one sided. They disagree with each other and like it's not like obviously it's not like the fucking pinnacle of like critical analysis but like they do have a conversation. It seems to be going somewhere.
Starting point is 00:54:49 It's not for like hens just agreeing with each other. Which that show. And they're hot. They're fucking hot too. Joy Behar. The real is literally it's they just repeat the dumbest takes from Twitter and then agree with each other. And there's also one with Sharon Osborn. Is there. Yeah. Yeah. The odds. Who's not with Ozzie anymore. I think they broke up dude which is honestly the saddest day of all time. That is. You bring my phone. Where is it. I don't know. Whatever. You just sit down when legends die. This article about Dasha and Anna and the cut is pretty funny. Is there. Yeah. I think they're pretty embarrassed by it. The article. The article itself is very. I mean it's like the modeling thing.
Starting point is 00:55:33 The modeling thing but it's like the fact that they got this like journalists to convey the humor of what they're saying in the interview. Yeah. Because like this could have easily backfired. I wouldn't have talked to this woman. I don't think they talk. I think that woman just listened to the podcast and then and then just ripped quotes from the pod. Well I was surprised reading it because like did you imagine what does come through. It does like translate. Uh-huh. Correctly. They were getting dragged for being pro anorexia there. It's like clearly satirical. Yeah. It's their joke. I mean but even like and I'm not I can look at it through a lens of like I don't know what the show is or who these people
Starting point is 00:56:13 are but how you could read this and not get the joke especially like this line. It's like it's so nice to being in the same room as Susan Sarandon and her politics. I would say in her pair of tits. Yeah. Both were grateful to be in the same room as Susan Sarandon and her politics. Cassian had a slightly different experience in that crossover when asked how she felt about modeling she said completely deadpan that the experience was both demeaning and demoralizing. Then she laughed in her signature dry tone and said no it was a lot of fun. I mean that's crazy. It's funny. Did it just come out. It came out like last week. Oh shit. Yeah. No I mean it's like the humor like transcribes. Yeah. I think that there's
Starting point is 00:57:03 like a quote from Dasha that's all right where she's like I just want to be a model where I'm like starving. That was like that was a little over top but the way it closes like this is it's like a very funny article. I would be worried that they just wouldn't like they wouldn't be able to. Oh Dasha read it when she was like I think that Saudi Arabia was right and we should kill all journalists. No I mean it like I don't know how you could read this and not have it read as a joke. Probably because anytime they get pressed for anything there's like a thousand like yeah there's a thousand like people in there jealous ass haters like buy my nudes for five dollars. Hey hey hey don't fucking. In fact
Starting point is 00:57:47 the only part of it that doesn't read as funny is we're catching a greed and said I'm with you Dasha I think it's only a matter of time before fashion people take note of us. You look like a Russian schoolgirl and I look like a Chechen urchin who sells MDMA by the subway tracks and the only reason that part's not funny is because it's like you know strict joke writing. I thought it was funny. Yeah but you're stupid. No. You're a very stupid person. Chechen urchin that says you don't understand nuance. Whatever bitch. Whatever bitch. The article's not that fucking funny. Just fucking finish. This is why you'll never be in a writer's room. I don't give a fuck. I'm a performer baby. I know you are. Put
Starting point is 00:58:23 that beautiful face on the fucking screen. Think about that. You and those little print money again and they can't put them on any of the bills that has to be coins because the bills aren't round enough. I'm like guys you just put a round thing on a bit. No we've tried. It doesn't work. Draw a circle. Somehow you're rounder than a circle. Oh this is a commercial with Phil Mickelson but someone told me recently that he likes watching guys fuck his wife. Yeah. He looks like that honestly. That's actually not surprising at all. What percentage of guys who likes watching their wife do anything. Yeah. Go away. Roger Stone Roger Stone loves seeing guys fuck his wife. We covered that. We did. We covered that on
Starting point is 00:59:10 our news program. I mean this one's been all news. We talked about this. Turned out gay. God damn it. Fuck. Walter Cronkite tearfully taking his glasses down. I'm Walter Cronkite and this is master. Ladies and gentlemen the president is gay. Thank you. I forgot the actual quote. Just received a straight man. Just received news from Dallas and the grassy know the president is gay. The only thing we have to fear is not having gay sex. Well my dear. What is that. FDR. What a name. Can you imagine if it was FNR. I could. Yeah. Franklin Nunez. No. No. No. All three of the bad ones. Oh yeah. And he won. He was such a good candidate. They're like let's rebrand him just as the initials. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:00:29 That's his name. And then people people saying the whole name emphasizing the middle one like they do. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. That's who you want to be president. That was good for me. And he's in a wheelchair. I guess he was the most progressive president. Yeah. Well it's a new deal. The new deal. Didn't they say he stole a bunch of shit from like a woman or a black guy or something. Yeah. It was all a black woman's idea. Yeah. And he was like what. No. The secretary or secretary of like labor or some shit. Wasn't that bitch like she had. It was a black woman. No it was a it was a woman though Francis I think. Francis Sinatra. Francis Ha. Francis Ha. That movie hilarious. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Yang Yang Twins reboot. Francis. Or is that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or are they talking about how you make chocolate cocoa powder and cocoa butter and the oxen and Mufas meals I'd like to fuck. Mufas. Mufas. Damn. Yeah. I love eating chocolate. Me too. Honestly. For real no lie. I love that shit. Yeah. I had chocolate with my breakfast. Did you. I felt like I was on a little Valentine's Day with myself. You know I got a mocha at a cafe. It was a little bar of chocolate sitting on top of the cup. And I didn't realize I was supposed to put that in the car. Let it melt. Oh that was the that was the mocha. Bullshit. I thought it was bonus. That's fucking bullshit. I thought it's not. It's like a fun science. No you
Starting point is 01:02:28 got you got fucking hosed on that. That is fucked up. It's a week and a half later I just bring stuff with me sitting there holding my backpack between my legs and he yells at them like my dad would do while drunk. Fuck is this. I love this. These women are just dipping strawberries in chocolate. Oh yeah. You really truly did get fucked on that one brother. It's a chocolate. It's actually healthy for you. Yeah. Yeah. It's got antioxidants. Dr. Ross says it's healthy. Damn. I want some chocolate covered strawberries. Yeah. Well you get it. Get it for Valentine's Day. Yeah. Are you going to have a pretend girlfriend for Valentine's Day stuff. I might maybe I'll have a real one. Who knows man. Are you doing
Starting point is 01:03:17 Valentine's tomorrow stuff. Perhaps I am. I am. What are you going to do. Wait there's a there's a Dasha subreddit. Just Dasha or slash Dasha. Wow. Nice. You're the king of reddit bro. They better respect my queen. I'm not the king of reddit. I'm just I'm just a regular poster man. Put your shoes on one at a time. I'm just trying to get back in it. You know. Ground floor. That episode 30 Rock where Alex Baldwin takes a job at the mail room. That's basically what you're doing right now. No this isn't some mail room shit dude. I'm just getting I'm back to the community. Oh I see. Give it back. That's why I'm talking about the mail room just the fellas. Oh the mail room. The M.A.L.E. room. So where I
Starting point is 01:04:02 go to have gay sex. Gale room a gale room. So a bunch of women named Gale. Oh my pussy doesn't work anymore. Jussie is beautiful you fucking loser. My pussy doesn't work. You're squirting a whole bottle of lube into their pussy and it keeps sucking all of it. Yeah. Not working at all. Damn look at this guy. This guy rules. That's just that's Norman if he never got married. Damn. If that was hair that'd be me. If I had hair that'd be me dude. Yeah. This is me. Yeah. This bullshit. What is that I wear the wild things on. Pomegranate juice. You fuck with that shit. Yeah but apparently that's the bullshit. They said you had you need it and I think there was not but POM is the bullshit. You got to go to a
Starting point is 01:04:49 health food store and get the good shit. Same with part cherry juice. It can't be concentrate. That's the health tip of the fucking week. Go off. Thank you. I will go off. By the way if you're in Hartford Connecticut this Saturday please come see me do stand up at the elbow room at 7 p.m. and next Friday in Delaware I will be there with Ian Fydans. I don't know what those dates are because I don't have my phone in front of me but I'm going to guess it's like the 15 Valentine's Day is what a Thursday. So I'm like I think it's tomorrow dude. Oh fuck. Yeah it's tomorrow. So that's so the 15th 16th. I'm in motherfucking Hartford and then fuck I hate math dude. What's the 22nd. I'm in Delaware with Ian Fydans. So
Starting point is 01:05:37 please come out to see those and then we have to start plugging this. We're going to be in motherfucking DC on the 31st March. Doubling up. The boys will be there. We're doing a live podcast and a stand up show come to both. Our dicks are getting very stiff. Can't wait to come back to DC. Back to the black cat. Oh fuck. I got to call Sean Joyce back. Shout out to the underground comedy festival. We're in that bitch. Doing a nice big show. Two big shows. I'm fucking hungry dude. I can't wait to eat the rest of my fucking sandwich. Got a salsa leader with pepper jack. So tell us about your your night. My sleep apnea test. They strapped your boy up like Bane dude. I had wires going all over my shit. They glued
Starting point is 01:06:23 shit to my head. They were they were they were fucking measuring my eye movements my breathing patterns. Different electrodes and shit. They had shit on my you find out you have sleep apnea. You have to sleep with one of those pain. I get a bay mass and I have to be less fat. Which is a plan of mine in general. I want to be as fat as I can be without any health problems. So like I don't know a hundred pounds less than I am. Did you did you beat off in the sleep study room. No they have a camera there. I thought what if you told them that you have a routine. Yeah. And you can't fall asleep unless you need you unless you beat off. I did jack off in the shower before I got there at home at home.
Starting point is 01:07:02 Yeah. You do that in the shower. It was just an American beauty guy. It was kind of a time crunch. I should rewatch that movie. It's a great movie. It's not a great movie. But if I might try to do weed and then watch it and then recapture. I think it's a great movie because I'll tell you this. I used to beat off to that movie. To the flower. No to the rose petals. No. No. You see Thor Burch's titties in the window. Thor Burch was a fucking 10 in that movie. Dude. Hurts. Oh my God. Dude. I haven't ever seen American Beauty. Dude. Don't. Dude. This is just a dog. I'm Thor Burch. It may have already happened but this is slowly going to just transition into a podcast where middle aged guys can
Starting point is 01:07:42 only talk about what we've masturbated to. Zero jokes. That's a tenant. That's a core tenant of the show. Completely out of touch with like I have no idea what's going on. Yeah. No insight into anything. You can describe it to me and all I can say is damn that's wild. Yeah. Fuck. We're just going to talk about what we used to beat off to and make threats against members of the. That sounds awesome to me. First family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah. No. Thor Burch in that movie is is stacked. You should look good. We've done. You know what. I've waited. She's the one that's under age in the movie. I doubt she's underage. They didn't show a fucking this huge. I don't
Starting point is 01:08:20 care. I really don't care. That's where it's at the point where it's like who cares. Damn you know that pizza because those are not a child's tits. Your honor. Those were not a child's tits. Sustained. Yeah. Let me see. Let me have a court out there. It's cheering. Oh good God. Damn. Those are some beautiful milky whites. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah. That's on VHS. Baby needs the feeding. Just like just a massive pair. Yeah. So beautiful heavy looking too. And in a good way all the weight is proportionate. Distributed very nicely. Yeah. They teardrop just a pinch but not a weird amount. Yeah. So what's the other bitch in that movie wasn't really that hot. Who though the the blind girl. The seductress
Starting point is 01:09:21 is that Elijah Cuthbert. No. I don't remember Adam. Come on. You know this. Do you. Fuck. Claire Danes. What are you looking at on your phone. I'm trying to look up who the other girl are you. Claire. You get health insurance. Yeah. Dude you should sign up for the one I got. Which one is that. Did you just get it. Hey guys. Health first with that it comes with eye and dental. Oh I need that. My teeth are in a lot of pain. I need to get my wisdom teeth out dog. Yeah. I got your wisdom teeth out. I only got them on the top. Let's go with you and make a cute video of you saying I hate that. David after dentists you hate that you're constantly getting surgery. Yeah. I'm being recorded saying dumb. Yeah
Starting point is 01:10:04 exactly. I've said every slur after anesthesia. Yeah. My roommate Eldis has has just so much fucking blackmail. Oh yeah. I remember I remember when I came out of me. It's Mina Suvary. Mina Suvary. Oh yeah. The other girl over Mina Suvary. Oh damn. Yeah. You know Suvary is hard to do. There were a bunch of those big fat tetanus. Yeah. Come on dude. Let me get a fucking suckle. Fucking. Yeah. I know. I know the word for tits in almost every language because of Pornhub. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna cut him in. Gotta. Anyways in Greek it's Vizia which is really funny Vizia Vizia Vizadas if they're really big. What the fuck. We'll return a second. Oh yeah. No. Damn it man. Did you use to wish
Starting point is 01:11:14 you were like the video kid in American Beauty because she was kind of autistic. We should do Twitch streaming of Jeopardy. Yeah. Just for the amount of times where I know the answer and I can't make my mouth work. And I'm like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. I love general which happens all the time. So come on. You see this is Gucci Gucci. Yeah. The blackface turban neck. Damn. Imagine that but it's her tits instead of the shoulders. Sounds pretty good. Katy Perry made blackfish shoes. Yeah. She made blackface shoes. Wow. Different colors though. Yeah. Is that the brat. I don't like I feel like most of network television now is just tattling on white people. It's like nine shows in a row where they're like
Starting point is 01:11:59 white people did something bad. Gucci really fucked up because black people love it. Do they. They love. I mean there's a rapper named after their brand. I didn't watch. I didn't watch network television in all of like 2015 and 2016. Yeah. But like I don't because it's weird to see it so closely track with social media because I was under the impression that a lot of the stuff on social media that has no bearing on like what most regular people are consuming because it's like this is a show where somebody will scold you know yeah like Esquire for having that cover and repeat woke talk like they literally said on the show that it proves that Esquire isn't woke and they didn't describe that term. Wait what
Starting point is 01:12:47 what was the great. They thought that Esquire should have talked about a kid. Well they did that like Trump. Yes. They were like can you imagine if we had magazines that had a profile of Trayvon instead and then everyone clapped and it's like they did like every time. What are you talking about. I mean like that. I mean it's not even worth arguing because it's like it's a really stupid. It was stupid but it's also like you're just you're operating on like such a level of delusion and like you know there's no entry point you know it's like everything you're saying is wrong but I thought that these are conversations only happen on Twitter and I was like surprised to see it on like the morning news. You know
Starting point is 01:13:33 what I mean. Maybe. Yeah I do think that like yeah should Twitter it does like amplify the fringe and like the most annoying people but it does like leak into general the general discourse and you can track it. I remember in 2016 it's like you know everyone here thinks like oh yeah there's no way Trump is winning this is silly and then I went out I went up state and then as soon as you get out of the city you're like oh clearly Trump's going to win the election. Yeah you know like this. This town which there's a million of has no like it's indiscernible from what I see on social media. Oh yeah and like how people think that the world should work on social media. Yeah. And it's like was network television
Starting point is 01:14:16 that way in 2016. Uh huh. But aren't you describing two different things you're describing like woke versus like Trump people. No I'm describing like or I'm trying to understand what the difference is if there's any between like like cultural observations on network television during the daytime versus what's happening on social media. Is it like this huge because like this this show will go to break and it'll be commercial for like personal injury law firms and oxygen tanks and like hearing aid and that like button you press if you fall falling down this is all this is all for like people over the age of like fifty five sixty years old. But maybe isn't that maybe that's why fucking Fox people like old people watching
Starting point is 01:15:07 so much Fox News. Yeah but they always have. But this is this is not Fox News. Right. This is like. This is daytime TV. But there's probably others. I mean yeah I guess you're right. I don't like good morning America used to be all like makeovers and then a story about like a cat that got stuck in like a you know a sewer you know it's like never didn't survive. Yeah we have there's a retarded kid that wants to play football so we brought him on TV and them one. Right. You know I mean it wasn't like. Yeah they do look good. Once again. Yeah but they always have like a news. They have like a news guy come on good morning America and say like these are the headlines and then go there was like five
Starting point is 01:15:49 minutes long. Now they would talk about things. On good morning America. Yeah but I mean it's like they feel like they paid less attention to 9 11 than they do like you know some kid wore a fucking MAGA hat to his high school. I think they paid more attention. No they didn't watch it. Damn another really good. Nikki looking great. Yeah. Menage. Really out there. Yeah. Yeah she's basically naked. Yeah. Wait is this the Ricky Smiley show. No this is Dish Nation Dish Nation. Bish. Bish Nation. And it is where you live. It is where you live. It's the Dish Nation. The Bish Nation. It's him. A lot of people have taken it upon themselves to try and draw or depict the San Frangelico guy. Yeah. What is it. I admire
Starting point is 01:16:40 it. Anywhere close. No. No. Not what's going on. No. No. It's close somewhere. You know what it is. Ballpark. I'd say it's kind of like like a thinner guy with his hair combed back comes his hair all the time. Of course. A little salt and pepper. But frail. You know definitely frail paint paint like like a shitty button up shirt from like his pants clothing maybe he's a little too baggy. Not crazy but a little cold. Yeah. He's wearing all cold. I was going to say cold is pretty good. Yeah. Slacks up to his fucking you know waist. Oh yes. Yes. Of course. His mom's pocket is right. Velcro wallet with the bus pass. Visible for sure. Yeah. That kind of stuff. I love it. Yeah. Not a not a full on Italian guy.
Starting point is 01:17:31 No absolutely. No he's not even Italian. That's part of the point. The point is that he's not that he's from Fairfax Virginia. Well what else is in the news folks. I don't know dude. I'm fucking Adams off the off the grid dude. I'm I'm hiding out from the Clintons. What are you looking at Mortage. Yeah just on my phone. So my phone over here. Oh fuck Rear Sorvino was the rose petals girl. Wait how many Thor Birch was the goth. Thor Birch truly big ass titties. Well it's just I you know I don't it's it's weird watching this because it's like are they talking about the best you can do in our position. I guess living in Brooklyn with a fake job. Yeah. You know is like try to just like minimize how completely
Starting point is 01:18:29 out of touch you are. There's no way. You know I have like no I have no idea. I don't know you know what people are thinking or what they're exposed to. And I mean I just assumed it was the opposite of what's happening on social media. Yeah. But then I watch this and it's I guess you're wrong bro. Oh am I though. I don't know. I mean who's watching. I don't understand like it's it shows that seem like they're the tonality is it's for fucking like a 22 year old and then all the advertising is for like the old people that don't even know like what any of these things. Yeah. The fact that they was watching have a discussion about how Esquire isn't woke and then not even explain what that word means
Starting point is 01:19:12 and it's playing at 1pm. Yeah. On a Wednesday. Were you hit by a truck driver. Yeah. Yeah. You know I'm born about Nicki Minaj. Do you need your fucking your hearing aids delivered directly to your house because your knees are fake. I don't know. Maybe people like popcorn. We've talked about this. We've talked about this before but I missed the like being homesick from school TV lineup watching Springer and Ricky Lake and then watching around the horn. Oh of course. And PTI. Maybe catch that around. Maybe catch the replay on ESPN too as well. Yeah. You know just watch it twice. Watch it twice. I need more. I need more woody page. I just remember the movies that would play. You know I watched again last night's
Starting point is 01:20:01 Bloodsport. Nice. I watched a rachnophobia in Bloodsport. I have a network TV edited for TV. Oh you watch it on network TV. No I watch it on Apple TV but like that those were the two. Right. Right. Right. Rachnophobia. Christine. Bloodsport. Into the mouth of madness. Mm hmm. Only seen Bloodsport. What else did they play. What else. In the mouth of madness what's that about getting your dick sucked by a crazy bitch. You know what I'm saying. You know what's going to do it. That's going to do it. That's it folks. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Come see me this weekend in Connecticut next weekend in Delaware. Come see us all in DC on the 31st. Goodbye. Oh I got some stuff. What. I'll say it when it's
Starting point is 01:20:50 booked. Bye. Sounds good. Bye.

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