The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 145 – Cum Town with Gene DiNapoli (adam did the levels)

Episode Date: March 6, 2019

MACK WELDON PROMO CODE: CUMTOWN20Gene DiNapoli, owner of Gene DiNapoli’s Central Stage Showroom And Event Venue in Yonkers, NY joins us to discuss Elvis, the Sopranos, and the nature of the beast (showbusiness). Also featuring bam margera and his friend.

You know, we have a saying in our family, use sports, don't let sports use you. Hi, it's Jeff Merrick from 32 Thoughts to Podcast. Are you a sports parent, rep sports, travel sports, whatever you call it? If you're like me, you know that one of the great joys of having your kid or kids play sports is travel. You know, our families use sports to see different parts of the world, meet new people, and stay in a number of different places. Recently, we've started using Airbnb. The kids love it because it feels like a sleepover at a new friend's house, while my wife and I enjoy more space, a proper bed, and mostly a washing machine. That really comes in handy for baseball trips. Trust me. In fact, it was on a baseball trip last summer when my wife sent me a text after the first night saying, do you think we could do this? Look, if you've ever

stayed at an Airbnb, you've probably wondered the same thing. Could our place be an Airbnb? And now that our kids have also discovered the joys of skiing skiing in addition to travel hockey and travel baseball we're on the move even more while our house just sits there why not make a little extra money to cover some costs right we have friends who travel south every winter and they airbnb their place why not look if you want to make a little extra cash and who doesn't need that these days maybe your home could be the way to make it happen find out how at airbnb.com and we're live we're going baby welcome live from yonkers new york we are guys we are live we're going it's all right it doesn't matter yeah it's fine this show sucks that's kind of the whole thing about it right You guys went live and it was the most hectic it's been the whole time we've been here.

Well, there's an issue with the, maybe the batteries will die halfway through. What's that? We got the sounds of Ray Stremmer coming here. It's Phoenix Wolf's favorite song. He's 14 months old. That's your offspring. Yeah, if he cries in the car and we play Powerglide, then he stops crying. That's so cool.

Ray Stramet. That's right. That's cool. What are the themes of Powerglide? I think he's driving in the Lambo, skidding around, and green paint from the rims is coming off of it because he's going so fast. So that pretty much defines what Bam's got going on in his life right now. I can relate, only it's not green.

It's purple and blue. You got a purple and blue Lambo? A blue Murcielago and a purple Gallardo. But the Murcielago is convertible, and Pennsylvania has too unpredictable rain, so I traded in for a bentley which is in san francisco now with three bullet holes in it you got shot hell yeah i went to that's how bullet holes usually get in somewhere to a skate park and somebody was like i wouldn't park a bentley at hunter's point i was like what's the worst that could happen well worst could happen is

three bullet holes in it those were just warning shots i. I wasn't in the car. I was skating. I came back, and it was like that. I love that because that's the kind of crime where you're just like, I don't want the car. I just want this to destroy it. Well, I realized I wasn't very mad because I was like, you know what? More people are staring at this car than before. Just because we're like, why does Bentley have bullet holes in it? What does this guy do?

Yeah, he must be a drug dealer of some kind. It does make you seem cooler. More like a rapper than a skateboarder. It's like a street creditor in a way. Yeah. I've never had anything with a... Have you ever been shot at at any point in your life? Yeah.

No. No? I don't think I have. I got shot by the rubber bullets on the riot control test on Jackass. That sucked. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I stood in the worst possible place because knoxville got

it seven times dunn got it eight and i got it 14 yeah but didn't you not know where it was gonna go it was like a bunch yeah it all went shooting everywhere and the most painful one was the one by my uh my my dick hang area and then the other one was right there on the thumb is that what it's called fucking bad dick hang. What's the worst? Do the cops aim at your dick? Are they trained to do that? No, this was a bomb that just goes off randomly. All these little marble pellets.

Is the bomb designed to aim for your dick area? It's a dick-seeking bomb. I'm not aware about the dick hang bullets. I mean, I don't know what they're trained. Yeah, that was pretty painful, though. And the stun gun. The 40 stun guns in the hallway suck, trained. Yeah, that was pretty painful, though. I guess that is still non-lethal, dude. And the stun gun, the 40 stun guns in the hallway suck, too. Yeah, that's brutal. What's the worst you ever fucked up your penis?

Actually, with my first girlfriend, Michelle Morrison, we were fucking. What's her middle name? What's her middle name? Just so we can get that down. What's her zip code? But yeah, we were fucking and somehow I kind of lost balance

and fell and my boner landed on the rug dead on head on and it didn't have any which way to bend except directly up. So I really thought I focused my dick. So it was never on the show. You thought you focused it? I'm was never on the show you focused no i'm not filming fucking to go put on mtv

no i also racked my nuts on a 14 stair handrail trying to nollie lip slide in san diego that one sucked i had to go jerk off and around the corner to see if things still worked in the writer's room for jackass how many many times do people pitch gay sex? Well, the thing is, that's why we have such a big gay following. There's no additional theme. We have a big gay following because it's much more funny to do stupid shit in a thong or naked or whatever. That's why, like, Steve-O, if he does a pole vault jump into the pool, it's funnier to do it with a thong on. If Party Boy's going to dance, it's funnier to do it with a silver thong on. 100%.

Yeah, but you flew a kite out of your butt. That was insane, man. Oh, I flew a kite out of my ass, yeah. Angle bead kite. It was big, dude. It was, like, pretty massive. And the wind ripped it out. The dildo that just got shot up basically into your ass, right?

Well, the thing was – That is gay sex. When we did the first jackass, Steve-O said his dad would disown him if he shoved the toy car up his ass and went to the hospital claiming that he was at a frat party and he doesn't feel good. You know, so like – Classic thing, yes. Because you were having weird sex last night, somebody shoved a car up your ass. So Dunn did it.

I was like, this is way too gay. He's going to be known as the gay dude on Jacket. He got the ending of the movie. The ending of the movie means you did the best fucking skit. Right, of course. And everybody talks about it. I'm like, fuck, I should have done that. Because when they X-rayed it, you could see the car.

Got the ending of Jacket. With the wheels and everything. So the doctor was like, you couldn't have ate this. You only gave to pay for it. Yeah, I guess. Oh, interesting. That's the line between gay and straight. It's not shoving a car up your ass.

It's paying someone. Come on, you have a glove on. That's good to know because I've been having sex with men for free for years. I can fit my dick through your no-tooth. Yeah, you honestly could. You want a, hey, hey reboot what do you think we'll do uh toothless face fuck yeah that's kind of established you kind of have the look of like a fat skater that keeps falling on the front of his face you know oh yeah i could never i couldn't skate for i could ollie maybe really yeah dude i haven't you can't yeah can you ollie maybe. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dude, I haven't.

You can't. Yeah. Can you ollie before or after your pedophile sunglass? Yeah. I guess so. That's right. I guess both. How was the lovely bones shooting that movie?

How was it shooting the lovely bones? It was good. Stanley Tucci's a sweetheart. Oh, no, but do you guys want to introduce yourself? This is Bam. Bam Ardair from that Jack Butt movie. Yeah. You already know Bam.

I'm Vinny. I'm a nobody. We got Vinny also here who's on tour with Bam right now. They're promoting their shows at West. Oh, yeah. We should say that. West. West Side Comedy Club in New York on Thursday night.

What's the date? It's tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. This episode is going up tonight on Wednesday, so it's tomorrow night. Yeah, we have two show times. Go see Bam and Vinny tomorrow night. We're trying to get invited To barbecues at Castle Bam Yeah and I'm showing

I'm showing clips Of the new movie as well How much are the tickets To the door? 50 bucks There you go So get in there Come out see Bam

Theater Bijou No that's tonight In Connecticut This will go up In a couple hours We'll get this up This afternoon

Yeah yeah Bijou Theater In Connecticut Tonight in Bridgeport. Go to nomadscomedyclub.com for tickets. Tomorrow night we've got two Showtimes Westside Comedy Club for tickets. Thank you guys for the plug. Oh, yeah, no problem.

We're glad you – Also, I'm having a big event April 1st at my house. This is the big one. It's called CastleBamEvents.com. We're having Yellow Wolf play. It's a huge party, guys. It's a skate park grand opening and movie premiere of the movie I've been working on for nearly a decade. Hot tub pool with skater piss.

We have some proposals for you for some events, but we can talk about that afterwards. One of them's an orgy on Craigslist. Yeah, yeah. No, we're trying to plan Cumfest right now, which is our festival. It's Ocean City, Maryland. It's off-season. Off-season. It's Ocean City, Maryland.

It's off-season. Yeah. We're planning on winter, like February, like a cold February in Ocean City, Maryland. But obviously Castle Bam, you know, if that is available, we obviously. Yeah. And we have a hot tub there that everybody, all the workers have been pissing on. And so by the time April 1st happens, it's going to be completely filled with piss. Yeah, like there's skaters that are building the skate park. So on April 1st, if people go into the piss hot tub and somebody shits in that summer,

bitch, I ain't going to be mad. Eleazar's going to shit in the tub. He already said he's going to. That's great. And he's going to step in his own shit, too. It's how you get into the party for free, basically. It's nice to have goals, Eleazar. I'm glad that you're thinking about your future.

I bet you could shit on command at 8.28 p.m. I honestly 100% could. At 8.28 p.m.? Yeah, I% could. At 8.28 p.m.? Yeah, I could. Because that's when I want everybody who's there who has to shit, shit in the fucking hot tub all at the same time. Yeah, just leave April 1st open. Come to Pennsylvania, man.

Is that a specific, is that like a special time in your life, 8.28 p.m.? Yeah, because it's right when Novak arrives. Oh, yeah. So we're just kidding. Are you beefing with Novak right now? Big time. All right. Because I've paid for his entire life since he was 14 years old.

I had a paid pension. Every goddamn drink, every flight, every hamburger, every hot dog, every slice of pizza, every fucking car ride, everything I have paid for. And now that he's buying himself a half a million dollar house in Philadelphia with these dumb Namibian giraffe lamps, I think it's time he can start paying me back. Hell yeah. Because he can afford it now.

Yeah. So start fucking paying me back or else Karma Police is going to get you. Do you want us to fuck him up? Payback. Radiohead. Do you want us to fuck him up? Because we will, dude. Fuck him up, Sam, man.

Fuck him up. Dude, yeah, we swear allegiance. We offer you our sword. Well, the thing is, if you beat up Novak, he always wins. Because he doesn't fight back. He just laughs at you and says, my grandmom could punch harder. Has his teeth all bloody. I've seen him with bloody teeth.

This guy's pounding him in. He's like, that's all you got, pussy. My grandmother could do better. He's like, you motherfucker. And he, pussy. My grandmother could do better. He's like, you motherfucker. Punch, punch, punch. And he's like punching the shit out of him. I was just thinking about that today. That's all you got.

Yeah, I said nobody could kick that guy's ass. He'll never stop. It's like crack head strength. Bam, bam. I win. Bam, when was the first time you punched your dad? Yeah, this is big. Well.

Because I also wish I could have the guts, the courage. Well Cause I also I also wish I could Have the guts The courage Well, I always have I guess since fucking Four years old Three years old I don't know But the older I got

And the fatter he got The more I was tougher And he was slower and fatter Yeah Are you guys Are you still slapping him In his big old No, no

He's too old now He's too old Was there a medical reason Did the doctor have to intervene So you Can't slap your father Well, he's too old now. Was there a medical reason? Did the doctor have to intervene? Well, he can barely walk now, mostly because of his weight, but I tackled him when we were playing a football game. He landed on his knee so bad that it fucked it up for good. Really?

You fucked him up on a tackle? On a tackle, yeah. He landed on his knee. Justice for Phil, man. You literally retired your dad out of the NFL. It's a knee, blown out knee. My son did it. Are you scared that your son will have the same taste for paternal violence as you?

I'm hoping. Can't wait. Where do I sign up? I can't wait for you to kick his ass, young man. Does he want to say something? Oh, yeah. There's a baby here. We got a baby.

Come on, dude, make your podcast debut Grown up on stage last night And he goes, Phoenix, say something The baby's just like Is he verbal yet? He talks He says ata and adat and wisher He says the n-word

He knows what His first word was the N-word. He knows what. His first word was the N-word, actually. It was to a Mexican guy. That was the weirdest thing. Oh, he's so cute. He is. We should just have babies on the show. Dude, we should have our own babies with our wives.

Should we have babies? And then make them fight each other. That's good. Baby fight club. Or just grow them up through the podcast. Show their progression as humans from babies all the way to toddlers and new children. I think that's a bad idea. Should we do come down babies like Muppet babies?

I don't know if you can use come and babies in the same sentence. Can we talk about babies and come at the same time? Oh, we easy could. Why don't you come down to Castle Bam events on April 1st and shit in that summer, bitch? I'll shit in it. You'll shit in the jacuzzi?

You and Elzar just... Me and Elzar, yeah, we'll hold hands. Well, it's a team event. Your buddy has to be in the piss tub as you shit in it, so it's a teamwork event.

Sounds good. So you need to find somebody But you have to shit in the old 28 PM. So what's that? He's like demoting Elzar to just sitting in the fucking tub. This is just what I think trans people are shit in the old 28 PM. So what's that? Demoting Eleazar to just sitting in the fucking tub. This is just what I think trans people are doing in the bathroom. Yeah.

Shitting. Shitting on each other. They make laws against it. The other day, this is what I heard in the bathroom. I go in. Yo, Tyrone. What? You taking a shit, dog?

Yeah. Hi. Man. Wow, we're like a real talk show. We're getting a little anecdote. Yeah. I love it, dude. You guys actually need to backtrack.

You're like, this is getting way too organized. Yeah, I know. It's doing nothing. We need a band guy that we can... Oh, to cut to? To laugh at all our jokes. Yeah, we haven't really had a talking point in weeks. There was a story about an orangutan that got dressed up and lady...

It was like a prostitute orangutan in Indonesia. Yeah, yeah, a bunch of Indonesian guys bought it. I found out that story was from 2003. But it's pretty good. It's a good story, yeah. It's just really old, so you guys aren't forming your readers on updated shit. No, I didn't look at the date on the article. No, but it is funny to think about a uh monkey prostitute though yeah yeah especially one

wearing like yeah why would they need money for anything for bananas well the owner the person that enslaved you i like the idea that the monkeys buying bananas and shit with it like the monkey has an addiction no it makes perfect sense yeah it would be honestly if you had a whole system of nothing but orangutan prostitutes, it's a business that would make way more sense. Absolutely. Supply and demand, there's nothing else. They have no law.

There's nothing else, but yeah, it's way lower overhead. You don't have to pay for lawyers for water. I guess. Depends on the upkeep on orangutans. Did you say orangutan? Yeah, an orangutan. That's like a bigger. No, they're small. You gotta shave them

every day. You do have to shave the monkey. Why do you have to shave them every day? So they'll stay fuckable. So it looks like a woman. Come on, Vinny. Try and keep up, man. What the fuck? You wanna fuck a hairy monkey? Use your fucking imagination. Thank you, Bam.

Thank you, Bam. Can you imagine walking into the fucking... Just the whorehouse with an ape in it? Yeah. And you go in the room and it's not shaved and you're like, this is disgusting. This is unbelievable. Clean it up. Y'all review it.

Yeah. This is unreasonable. 2.0 stars. This monkey had hair on it. Have you heard about the frumping going on in Copenhagen? What's frumping? There's an article out that they started writing tickets for frumpers. In the summertime, all these girls are always on their bicycles riding around with their skirts on.

So if they pull over to go in their Copenhagen 7-Eleven, whatever it's called, they park their bike and then a frumper would run around the corner and huff their seat. So many people were doing it, smelling the pussies in these seats. They called frumping, and they could write you a ticket for it. That's how Saab's parents met, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was frumping her seat, and she was like, yo, what are you doing? And then we hit it off from there. My mom told me that story.

I said, so that's cool, because those guys at Copenhagen are like, dude, let's go to? And then we hit it off from there. I told me that story. I said, so that's cool because those guys in Copenhagen are like, dude, let's go to Minnesota where it's totally legal to frump. We can just sniff girls' bike seats all day. Frumping sounds worse than just smelling pussy juice off a bike. It sounds gross. It sounds gross. Pussy huff. I would call it pussy huffing, personally.

Frumpers name themselves that. In Japan, they have vending machines where you could buy used panties so you could sniff them and jack one out. We were just there in a sequence. We were just there, yeah. We were just there. How many did you order out of the vending machine? I don't know. It's weird because there's tidbits about Japan that people hear and they're like, they hone in on the panty vending machine.

But the entire country is dedicated to rape anyways. Yeah. So the panty vending machines kind of fall country is like dedicated to rape anyways yeah so the panty vending machines kind of fall by the wayside when you get there and it's like oh it's there right exactly there's like an ambassador of rape on every time you go to disney and see the teacups they're just like this has been here yeah exactly i really like it when like the girls are in pain from fucking it yeah i think it's a fantasy baby let do you think, baby? Did you have a little bit? Yeah, yeah. Let's weigh in. How do you feel about Japanese rape?

So cute. He's for it. I know. It's like when you play classical music to a baby and it's like better at math. Yeah, he's like, you got to get your baby out of here, man. It's going to be like 22. It'll be 22 and he's like, why am I in in 20 years it might be a sport guys like we might be preparing him for something that could be an olympic event in 25 years the way this world's going uh damn yeah um is you guys no kids between

any of three huh that's it no sterile? I don't have teeth. Yeah, and then we're gay. We're gay to get me and this guy. And most of our sex involves just me spotting him at the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Him cursing at me. Maybe a fucking bag of lotion in between these couch seats. Exactly.

We chalk his asshole to make it more painful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the watermelon in half, letting it sit in the sun so you can cup it like an ass. his asshole to make it more pain yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that shows funny was that the cartoon all the cartoons look like me in that show yeah that's that was that, that's the show for me. Well, I'll tell you what, guys. We have a big surprise. Our returning friend, Mack Weldon Underwear.

Look who the fuck came back. Yeah, came crawling back to us. Crawling back, you motherfucker. They thought they were too good to fucking sponsor our podcast. Well, guess what? Wrong, bitch. Welcome back. Welcome back. Their stock price plummet podcast. Well, guess what? Wrong, bitch. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Their stock price plummeted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The three months they didn't advertise. They almost went out of business. MackWalden is an underwear company that's Vinny. I'll just fill you in. Yeah, just look me in the eyes. Do you wear underwear yourself?

Yes, I do. I have some on now. If it's not MackWalden, you're fucking out. Take them off. Shove them up your ass. They're no good. Shit them out. Unless they're Mack Weldon.

Flex your stomach muscles so rapidly that it sucks your underwear out. It's a lot of recycling with my old underwear. I'm just kidding. Bam, take yours off. Put them in his ass, too. All right. All Mack Weldon underwear is going in Bitty's ass. Last night at the show, Bam put his ass on me.

Bam, do you remember? Bam got naked and just put his ass on my face. I'm like, all right, I'm in now, I guess. You're in the crew now. I tossed his salad last night pretty much. Damn. Yeah, my girl liked it a little too much. She's like, can Bam come over tonight?

We can do that again. Do you ever think he'd be? No, I'm just kidding. You know when you're a young boy and you're like, I can't wait to do comedy. You've just been meeting your heroes. Guys, I'm doing a show with Bam on Tuesday. His ass is going to be in my face. Everyone in the audience is thinking, that must be the luckiest guy in the world.

Dude, there were guys waiting for this. They're like, dude, is Bam going to do that in the VIP meeting? Is he just going to put his ass there and we can shove our faces in it? Well, I bet if Bam was wearing Mack Weldon underwear, his ass would have smelled a lot better. It would have smelled a lot better because it's naturally antimicrobial. Quit talking about it and be about it. Let me get a pair. Oh, we'll give you a pair.

Yeah, we'll get it. You can just go to MackWeldon.com and use promo code COUNTOWN to get 20% off. They actually changed the promo code, so I'll have to update that with them later. Okay. But, yeah, they sell underwear, crew necks and shit. A whole bunch of shit. All the guys' stuff, you know? Stuff for the fellas.

Big sizes. I'm a big dude. They got big sizes. Oh, yeah. They got it for big boys. Yes. Premium fabrics, simple shopping. It's very easy to use the website. I love that shit. I'm a big dude Oh yeah They got it for big boys Yes Premium Fabrics

Simple shopping It's very easy to use I love that shit Check it out man I think Please do I think I could use A new brand of underwear

MackWeldon.com But what's Most important Is that they're What is it Anti Naturally Yeah

Micromodal Something like that Antimicrobial silver ions Yeah They got silver ions And shit They got silver inal fabric. Something like that. Antimicrobial silver ions. Yeah, yeah, they got silver ions and shit. They got silver in there. Yeah, some shit like that. Which is normally, I think, a chemical that can fuck you up. But not anymore, Vinny.

With Mack Weldon underwear, it's good for you. Yep. You guys backtracked to not having me want it. I was like on board to buy it. No, you do want it, right? Vinny, shut up. Vinny, you want it, don't you, Vinny? Vinny, this is why you're at the asses shoved in your face level.

I'm cutting Vinny's mic. And not kings of underwear level. No, I will go buy a hundred. There he is. No, truly, we are glad to have Mack Weldon back in the family. So check him out. Smart Designs, Premium Fabric, Simple Shopping, MackWeldon.com, promo code COMETOWN for 20% off. That's right.

And I will update the promo code once they email me back because they changed it. In post-production? I don't think that they want COM in the promo code. Okay. Yeah. So try a bunch of stuff. COMETOWN, TOWN. Try Nick Mullen's podcast.

Just try different promo codes. Until you get something that works You're going to have to brute force the website To figure out the correct promo code Mackwald Anyways And here we are back Doing the show

Back to talking Like we were already doing Discussing the product that y'all personally use. Yeah, that we enjoy. Yep. Specifically enjoy very much. Oh, 100%. Hold on a second.

Sorry. What's that? Oh. Yep. That's one of our classic things. That's good for you? Bam's laughing. Bam's laughing.

That's the first thing Bam's laughed at. Hard. You should just give yourself pink eye. That's what the glasses are for, to block the pink eye farts. I can see fine. It's a protective layer against all the shit particles on this microphone. I just suck a fart out of my buddy Hannah's ass once for a scavenger hunt. That wasn't even for the show.

Real quick, Mack Weldon, if you don't like him. Oh, that's right. That's the most important part. Get this. Back's the most important part. So get this. Back to the read. Get the fucking Mack Weldon underwear. If you don't like it, you call them up. They'll refund you.

You keep them. You keep the underwear. Right after his fart. You're like, she's farting. That jogged his memory. Stuck in the shit crystals in his leaky ass. Yeah, yeah. I do have a leaky ass.

And the thing is, is they're short stocked on the big underwear, so I might get some of your old ones that you sent back. No, you don't send them back. You get to keep the underwear. And they send you your money. They give you your money back, and you get to keep the underwear. Can you believe it? We're going to like them, though, because they're great. So that's not even an option.

You can get them, put them on, and then you call them up. You're like, I immediately shit myself. I want my money back. No refunding your money. That might be the one clause that they're like, listen, I'm done with myself. No, they won't. Numerous times. They won't.

Yep. That's great. Anyway. So what's this party? What's going to happen at the party beyond the toilet pot? It's a new bowl that we built that's like a one-of-a-kind bowl. And skaters could, the more you pump it, the faster you could go. And it's like perfect for like a

skate contest or a jam so uh we're having a grand opening for that and then having yellow wolf play i got these big lights showing up with um gnarly um street bike tommy from nitro circus travis pastrana they're showing up uh he's catering the event because he has a uh barbecue called loony bin barbecue travis i was hopingony bin barbecue no no street by Tommy I was hoping he would which makes more sense why is any barbecue on the pastrami's yeah I'm saying Travis pastrami should have a pastrami business yeah called Travis pastrami yeah I think it's it's unbelievable that he hasn't opened it yet so actually have it in the barbecue business incorporated

like some kind of barbecue no I think it's a totally separate thing you should have a restaurant did you ever heard of dung beetles which is like shit food no no no um they take these dung beetles from cow shit and they boil them and they've considered a deli delicacy. Where is it? In Burma. He's been more places than all of us. He's like, oh, in Jersey. Yeah. That's why it smells so bad. If you go to like Banderseri Bajajuan or Burma.

Really? I feel bad. They boil the dung beetles that come from shit and then they eat them. Interesting. Because they don't know that they're playing with shit. I think they know. No, no, no.

I think they know. The beetle? The beetle doesn't know what it's doing. I was just talking about it. They're like, look at all these resources. Oh, yeah, yeah. They think it's oil. Like, if you try to get snake piss soup, it would be very expensive.

Really? In Burma? Snake piss soup. Interesting. Why would it be expensive? Just because it's hard to get It's a delicacy Go capture a snake and try to make him piss into a goddamn cup

I'm gonna do it Now what's the pussy like over in Burma? See I don't know I don't fucks with it It's got glass in it Interesting Well I was wondering. They got a military dictatorship over there, right?

I think they did like, what, 40 years ago? Oh. I don't remember. That's where Pol Pot was, or was that Cambodia? No, that was Cambodia. Pol Pot. Pol Pot was a dictator. This guy killed a bunch of guys.

That's the keyboarder from Turbo Negro. Yeah, you're right. No, they were communies, weren't they? That was Holpot. That was one fun thing we did about the show last night. Bam knows the capital of any country in the world, so we were just shouting out to the fans. Really? Any country? Yeah, so people were just shouting out weird countries, and he was saying them, and people were amazed.

And then one douche goes, Vermont! And it just ruined the whole thing. He's saying some pretty exotic countries, and Bam's just banging them out. Then they tried to stump him, Vermont. You know, and it just ruined the whole thing. Because he's saying some pretty exotic countries, and Bam's just banging them out. And they tried to stump him with Vermont. What's Zaire? Zaire. It doesn't count. Zaire is Lusaka.

It doesn't exist anymore. Whoa. Zaire, I think that is this. What an interesting skill to have. I would never have guessed you'd know that. This is why. It's because it's kind of like if you relate it to music. Like, all right, Back in Black.

Oh, ACDC. Sweet Child of Mine. Oh, Guns N' Roses. you relate it to music. Like, all right, Back in Black. Oh, ACDC. Sweet Child of Mine. Oh, Guns N' Roses. Pour Some Sugar on Me. Oh, Def Leppard. It's that, but only capitals. So when you say, you know, Namibia, I say Windhoek. It's just the same thing.

That's such a different skill. Yeah, or like Ivory Coast, like Abuja. Okay. Yeah. So it was a fun part of the show because fans, like, it allowed the fans to get involved and just yell whatever the hell They wanted out You know

So it was fun Alright fuck Wow The party though I mean like Well hold on This is going to be The next 45 minutes

Yeah It's like okay Well we'll try this out Yeah But then the real challenge Is for me to think of The name of a country Yeah yeah yeah

Let's go around the thing Very difficult I love it Everybody name a country. I heard you. Name any country. I got nothing. Scandinavia.

Well, Scandinavia, that's Norway, Oslo, and then that's Sweden, Stockholm, and then that's Finland, Helsinki, and then Estonia, Tallinn, and then Latvia, Riga. And Denmark. Copenhagen.

Denmark, my man. Scandinavia is Denmark. Copenhagen is Denmark. Amsterdam is a city in the Netherlands. That's the Netherlands, yeah. Bangkok. South Africa is Denmark. Amsterdam is a city in the Netherlands. That's the Netherlands, yeah. Bangkok. South Africa is Pretoria or Johannesburg. You hear Gene.

He's like, yuck. Central stage. Trying to get a plug in. Yuck. Uzbekistan. Tashkent. Damn. Damn.

All right. Georgia. Bolivia. Tbilisi. Bolivia. La Paz. And Sucre. There's two.

Well, there's two. La Paz and Sucre. Or Santa Cruz. Suriname. Paramibo. Montana. Damn. Bam is the smartest guy I know.

Djibouti. Djibouti is Djibouti. You couldn't even say it. Djibouti? You couldn't even say it. He's like, he's trying to think of shit and he just stumps himself trying to stump Bam. What about, is Antarctica a country? No, well, the only place that's called...

Oh, we got him! No, yeah, well... It's a bunch of tents. It's called Ross Ice Shelf. There's no town in Antarctica. It's called Ross Ice Shelf. One, bam, zero. Sorry, dog.

Seems like we got you. That's the secret. Find an uninhabitable place How about the fucking moon asshole You figure that one out Damn Damn Let's do one more quick round

This is fun Fuck Albania Albania Tyrain Fuck God damn I mean it's like also I don't know like Doodle door from like what it's got genius here Kyrgyzstan Kyrgyzstan yeah al Madi guys is it that where I was Kazakhstan. That's Astana. Can you do the states too?

You have to be able to do the states. They're too easy. Can you do all the presidents in order? No. Why don't you go on Jeopardy? Because I would lose. Because there's one. It would just be about geography.

It's more about. If there was geography Jeopardy, then I would win. There is geography Jeopardy. It's a huge thing. Yeah, but then there would be the other shit that I don't know. You would ask me who won the football game last year. I'd say, I don't know. You would ask me who won the football game last year. I'd say, I don't know, Steelers. Who won the football game last year?

The football game. Who won the hockey game? I don't know, the Flyers. Who won the basketball game? I don't know, the Sixers. You're just saying everybody from fucking Philly. What about... Jeopardy now is just exclusively autistic people.

I feel like it wasn't like that when I was growing up, but now it's now just how deep into the... No, I agree. I yearn for the days where it was just pussy and hounds on Jeopardy. They have the craziest questions and there's some brain men people like, what river was Lincoln floating down during the war of whatever?

Oh, that must have been the Potomac River. It was all it was all like you know academics before and now it's just some guy like you know burning a hole through the camera with his dead eyes and drooling all over the what about when trebek stares at the autism people and he wears them here's a jeopardy question you recently switched the skin guys what's that like he's like oh he's pretty good i got a jeopardy question. How many pussy rings does Nikki have? your wife Including or excluding her butthole pierced

So not including the butthole pierced but now he's like letting you know he's like what about the guy she killed last week It's like a tool. It looks like a tackle box. No, it's a tackle box. You split her open and see how old she is? How old the tree is, I thought that's what you meant by pussy rings. How much money would the Jeopardy box be? Yeah, when she goes to the airport, she dings. When I eat her out, it's like French embraces.

Wow, that's love, guys. Yeah, that's real love. I'll never know it. It's like French and braces Wow That's That's love guys Yeah that's real love She's a magician I'll never know it Yeah Put them together Are magnets a problem

Yeah what if you put magnets there They'd be all over the place So you got your pussy You got your pussy Pierced shut Is that Dick so bad She got the pussy pierced shut? Is that... Dick so bad she got the pussy pierced shut?

I apologize, man. I have tremendous respect for you. No, I only have a five pussy ring. Just five. Wait, so it's uneven? There's three on one side? Oh, the lack of symmetry is going to, like, Nick isn't going to talk the rest of the episode.

He's just going to be, like, thinking about it. No, that bothers me. Yeah. You can have three on one side and two on the other. That's weird. Is it the list? Two and one. Two, two, and one, I would guess, right?

What do you mean? Like a clip piercing? All right. Like a house of cards, kind of, you know? Looks like a church. Wow. I'm happy my girl isn't here, man. She'd have some ideas. She's house of cards, kind of. Looks like a church. Wow. I'm happy my girl isn't here, man. She'd have some ideas.

She's into tattoos and piercings. She's got like five in her ear right here. Yeah. That's a much more standard place. You're already at pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't top that story with my boy. I got my ear pierced last week.

I got a stunted player. Yeah, it's got to be like a kidney pierce. Like you put it up her ass and pierce it. That's the only way you top five pussy piercings. Oh, she was crazy. She got her ears pierced. Yeah. I'll tell you what, if you like piercing pussies.

I'll take a hot poker on my ass and rip my dick off. Let's get back on Mike. That would be great. Say you beat on Mike. Let's get back on Mike. Say you beat on Mike. You got to beat on Mike. I was trying to stick a hot poker on my ass and rip my dick off. Yep. But we would come up with these ideas with Jackass,

and they would try to pass it through. And I said, you know what? Mike Tyson bit off Evander Holyfield's ear. How about I'm in a boxing ring with Evander Holyfield, and then he tries to bite off my ear? And they're like, you're willing to have half your ear missing for a skit? I'm like, fuck yeah. You know the street creds I'll have when I have a half-assed ear, and they say, how did that happen?

Evander Holyfield bit it off? Yeah. And you don't believe me? Look it up on the internet. You should have gotten Tyson to bite it off. Or that. I would do that as well. I don't know if he'd be able to control himself.

He's available. What I want to do is be raped by Ryan. know if he'd be able to control biting this part of my ear off, it doesn't hurt at all. It's like pinching the bottom of your elbow. Careful a little, Bella. Yeah. Yeah. Well, real quick, if you like piercing your pussy, go to bluechew.com. This is our second sponsor. This is our favorite.

We honestly, we're big customers. We're big customers of this. Because our shit doesn't work. Dick pills? Yeah, generic dick pills. So you can get the, like, it's generic. It's the same of this. Because our shit doesn't work. Dick pills? Yeah, generic dick pills. So you can get the, like, it's generic. It's the same ingredients as Viagra and Cialis. Well, Boner Boy right here doesn't have a problem getting a heart on, so.

Well, even if you don't. Is that like your superhero name, Boner Boy? Boner Boy. I don't have a problem not killing myself. I don't need, like, not need cocaine to also, you know, have a good day. Yeah, yeah. I get an extra heart, Dick. It adds to it. Yeah, exactly.

It's the same ingredient as Viagra and Cialis, but it's chewable. cane to also, you know, have a good day. I get an extra hard dick. It adds to it. Yeah, exactly. It's the same ingredient as Viagra and Cialis, but it's chewable, so it works faster. It's a subscription service. Like, you don't need to go to a doctor. For children or? Literally anybody. I guess, theoretically. Theoretically, yeah. As long as you see your 18-year-old in the intake form, it doesn't matter.

Why don't you take one now and then fuck the couch and we'll see if it really works. Do they give you samples for the guests to see? Unfortunately, we took them all. Took them all? Yeah, we did get samples. Hey, I'll take one now and then I can bone her in the bathroom because I have a babysitter right now. Yeah, that's true. We could give you hundreds of dollars of free dick pills in life.

Yeah, it's the best part of the job. What do you get more of, underwear or the dick pills? Easily the dick pills. pills easily the dick pills. Yeah Walk around with a hard-on with no pussy lined up Yeah, that's what Don Vito would do God be doing all right He was all right here, and then he would go to the bar with a fucking Chill yeah, it's a grown-up Vito, just take one to go chill. It's like going to my boy's house.

Let me take this Viagra real quick. What are you going to do? I'm going to go chill my body. I'm going to go to the bar. But my dick's going to look great in my sweatpants while I do it. Yeah, I wear gym shorts. Is that good for your heart? I feel like. Oh, yeah, it's bad for your heart.

No, it's actually not bad for your heart Really? Yeah, it lowers your... I have high blood pressure Which I did not put on the form when I signed up Yeah, yeah But please don't lie on the form Please don't lie on the form

They got, I think, mad at us last time Because we told people to do it, but don't Yeah, no, I don't think it does Everybody's lying on the form Look, they got a fucking doctor that looks into all this shit Yeah, you got a doctor He's a real doctor I'm taking one of these pills right now.

I'm going to go work up a burner. All right. You sign up for the website. They send it to you in discreet packaging, okay? Yeah. Because I know you don't want to have people know that you're ordering dick pills. That your dick is limp as hell. Right.

They send it to you from custom medicine. It says custom medicine. On the package. So there's nothing suspicious about that. Yeah. Yeah. Work. What's that?

Are they work? Yeah, they work. Oh, they work. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you can choose whether you want the I can't remember.

It's Saladin the fill or which one's like the Cialis version. I think I think the dollar dollar dollar fill or something. You just chew it up and chew it up. Done. They got Cialis is a kind like. That's like a 24 hour. Yeah. It's more than that. That's what I liked about it.

I take it in the morning with vitamins. Really? Yeah, I treat it like a vitamin. You put it in your Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I chew it up. Actually, they taste good. It's like testosterone. They do.

Yeah, yeah. They taste good. They're like candies. Just as candy almost. Yeah. Except your dick gets all fucking hard the whole day. That is exactly the difference. You ever eat too many?

Is there like an OD on your dick explode or something? No. How many have you had? How many have I had? Lifetime or in one sitting? Like four. Two or three. Yeah, that's a lot, right?

Yeah. To get your dick hard as shit? Jack's a customer. One will do it. One will do it. I've gotten impatient in taking an extra one. Because the game samples with you? Unfortunately, we don't.

But listen, we'll get some to you, buddy. We can meet you at West Iconic. Yeah, let's introduce the random guy who just started talking to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the radio listeners. I know, he gave it to you. Bam is taking a dick pill right now. Yeah, he's out there literally.

So he tagged in our buddy. What's your name, buddy? I'm sorry. Joe. Everybody calls me Keen. Keen's in and you said you have taken dick pills and walked around. I've taken Cialis because Buddy Mike gave me some. I was like, what do I need these for? And he's like, dude, trust me, you'll like them.

And then I found out one night of drinking and doing enough booger sugar that I was like, it's not going to work. I was like, I'll take one of these Cialis right now before I get home with this lady. Say Blue Chew for the story. Say you took Blue Chew. This is a customer testimony. It's not gonna work. I'll take one of these. Yeah, it's like right now before I get home with the same blue chew for Yeah, you take blue Customer testimony, I don't think you heard the rules at the beginning. Yeah, it's the same drug except blue chew is what we want What if you're a

Great, it's the same What if you're a blood gang member and you can't do anything with the color blue you keep it a secret You just keep it a packaging is That's what street packaging is for. That could be a big deal in the streets if there's some blood member out there taking blue chew. I don't know. I think it would be nice if they were that technical. I mean, it's fun.

You're like rocking it all 24 hours, man. Wind blows right, and you're like, oh. Well, all the pills are manufactured in the United States, so if you're a patriot. Take that. Yeah. If you love this country and you want your dick to get in the United States, so if you're a patriot... Take that. Yeah. If you love this country and you want your dick to get hard the American way, you take Blue Chew.

You want those white blue-collar workers to keep their jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not turn into fascists. You'll buy Blue Chew. That's right. If you don't buy Blue Chew, you're a fascist. If you don't buy Blue Chew, you're helping fascism. Yeah.

Because of laughter or something. Yeah. That's true. I'm sure. Same after the breeze. They're handing a lot ofism. Yeah. Because of laughter or something. It's true. I'm sure. Same after the breeze. They're handling a lot of things. Yes, but they're chewable, so it gets into your system faster. Take them any time, day or night.

It's cheaper than the other two. How was that pill, Bam? How's your dick feeling? Not working yet. It's not working yet. It's kind of immediate, but soon it'll be so hard. Plus, you don't need to go to the doctor's office. Anyways, go to bluechew.com and get your first order free when you use promo code COMETOWN.

C-U-M-T-O-W-N. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code COMETOWN. Vinny, check it out. Yes, I will. Yeah. Please do, buddy. Then it's free.

You just pay for the shipping. We're going to check it out. We are back. I think we should even video on Instagram once we get the pills for BAM and we'll just take them. Yeah, please show us your hard dick when it finally gets going. Send us a pic. Post your dick on social media and use hashtag Bluetooth. Bam's no problem with that.

Congrats, Bam. It's nice that you have a hard dick, man. Log on to Club Penguin. Post your dick. Keen came through with a nice burn. He said Bam doesn't have much to fill up. So I just wanted to get that on the record. That Bam has a small penis.

It's like a tuna can. He calls it a tuna can. I love how MTV can't show a lot of things, but when I broke my tailbone in February and had to get an X-ray of it, you could see an outline of my X-ray dick, and they had no problem showing it on national television. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, it seems like they would always tell you guys,

like, they draw the line somewhere, but then another skit would, like, why didn't we do that if we're doing this? You know what I mean? It's like, if you're okay with us putting a car in our butt, why can't we do this? So it's like, they always, like, maybe, did they ever change executives during the making of

Jackass one to like jackass three and a half isn't all that shit arbitrary anyways the network just wants to like some it's somebody's job to say yeah yeah like you can't just there's a person hired that they can't just watch your episode and say well that looks like it's good to go no they have to have a list of complaints because if they don't then they didn't do their job which causes us problems that's why you got to put a red herring and everything. You always. That's why we go over the top.

So we know that they're going to delete shit. Drag a black man behind the pickup. And they're like, well, we can't do that one. And I'm like, guess who got their penis on daytime television? So true. Well, it's Oscar season. As Bam's swinging the mic Around his baby's head So Bam

Are you voting for Bernie? Who's that? Even better Just endorse Full throated endorsement of Bernie Sanders Thank you Bam Just get it out there You should

I'll do well with voting As a favor from Bam Marger. Just get it out there. You should. He's an old man running for president. I'll do well with voting. That's a favor. Just promote Bernie Sanders and not know who he is. I bet you Bernie would know who Bam was, though. I don't think Bernie knows who he is.

I think Bernie's about to die. He's an 80-year-old Jewish man. Since like 1983. We did a show about a month ago with Artie Lang, and he said that playing around a golf with Donald Trump was one of the funnest days of his life. Yeah, well, because every other day was sucking dick for heroin. Did you see that photo of him with his nose all caved in?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every photo of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't want to shoot up, so I just sniffed my nose off. Artie looks like he's just been in a wind tunnel for the last... Well, heroin addicts always have that thing where they try to hide their marks with a sleeve, but he can't put a sleeve over his face. He's hiding it by drawing attention to his face.

So he put up a cartoon of him putting cocaine on a frying pan and then smacking himself in the face. I thought that was the funniest shit. Yeah, that's a tough look. I want to show these track marks, so I'll just have my nose cave in. I brought him to a show in Connecticut. My friends were like, you just made us pay $40, and it looks like you just punched a homeless guy in the face 20 times.

And then I look at Elzar, I said, guess what we're doing for the next gig, buddy? Beating him up, making him look like Artie. Save the money. Bootleg Artie Lang. Nice. Yeah, shit. Making him look like Artie. Save the money. Bootleg Artie Lang. That's a smart move. So what's the movie? Did he fix that thing?

Nah, he's fucked. Nah, he's... He's in rehab now. I mean, it looks better. I've seen a picture of him like a couple days ago and he looked a lot better, man. A lot better.

But they're not going to release it until he's officially better because he could go back off the show. Oh, you have like a Gen 1 nose job. Like a Michael Jackson nose job. Yes. Yeah. Artie with a little ass nose.

A little ass white girl nose. You should do the skin thing like Michael, but the opposite. Like in a few years, Artie's just black now. Blackface. Blackface Michael Jackson. He's just doing like BET specials. 1987 Michael Artie. Posting the hip hop awards and shit.

Yeah. So did Don Vito get a lot of pussy? Not a lot don but there was times where i was just like whoa how the fuck is this fucker like this getting this chick right now and her boyfriend or husband said that she has a hall pass for vito i'm like what the fuck and he's outside of the hotel waiting for her to get finished fucking. What's my list? But no, she wasn't bad looking.

Really? She was like a seven. He fucked a seven while her husband waited. He fucked or whatever. It doesn't make sense. He's like, yeah, she showed up to the show already crying. I fucked Veronica Vaughn and she was one piece of ice piece of I know but I know a buddy Who did

But a buddy of mine did No they didn't No no no they didn't Michael Jackson documentary I heard about it We heard about it today I didn't see it yet He's not guilty at all

He's not guilty Coming from a guy Who was at the Free Michael OJ thing where it's like He did the guilty at all. He's not guilty. It's coming from a guy who was at the Neverland Ranch. It's like an OJ thing where it's like he did the crime. So he did it. But he's not. I wouldn't convict him. He's not guilty.

In a court of law. If you send your child to a place called Neverland Ranch to hang out and sleep in the same bed as a man who giggles and rides a magical train around his property, you raped your kid you might as well suck your own son's penis fuck yeah yeah fuck yeah in fact why nothing came out is because like the parents would compete to have their kid molested the most. What if you knew your kid was gay anyway? Does that matter? I don't know if it's a gay thing.

If you're gay. I don't know if it's a gay thing. I don't know if a five-year-old gay thing. Yeah, I was raped repeatedly from age four until eleven. Thank God I'm gay. That would have been a real doozy if I weren't a homosexual. Damn, dude. if I want a homosexual. Yeah.

Damn, dude. Yeah, wasn't a very good documentary. No, not very good. What's this? Two minutes. Two minutes to wrap it up? Okay, we got one more read, and then you can just, like,

as long as we can chill and... Yeah, you can chill. We can just do the show. Yeah, is that cool? Yeah, it's cool. Or, I mean, or you can just, like, you know, you can dip now or whatever. I mean show. Yeah, is that cool? Yeah, it's cool. Or you can just dip now or whatever. I mean, thanks for coming on. Well, yeah.

CastleBamEvents.com. Check it out. April 1st, we're having a big party. Come check out our show tomorrow night. Once again, CastleBamEvents.com. Also, tonight we have a show in Connecticut, and then tomorrow we have a show in New York at what? WestsideComedyClub.com.

Go get tickets. 7 and 10 o'clock. Stavros, you guys, if you want to come hang. I'll be sitting in the hot tub. Yeah, I mean, anytime you guys see us having a show, pop by, because we always have a few stand-ups go up before BAM. Cool. Does this Q&A and storytelling stuff.

So, yeah, more the merrier. Tonight, Bijou Theater. Get tickets. NomadsComedyClub.com. Thank you, guys. You want to get a pic of the boys in BAM? Yeah. All right, BAM, you want to get in on this, uh, the boys in Bam? Yeah. All right, Bam, you want to get in on this brother?

Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Honestly, I appreciate, uh, Adam here's fucking 12 other people. Oh no,

I'm sorry. Cool guys. Yep. Just taking a pic during the podcast. Everyone. Yeah. Yeah. I'm actually a big Stavros fan,

believe it or not. I love this fucking dude. Thank you so much. Hell yeah. You're a massive inspiration to us. For real, dude. Yeah. I'm actually a big Stavros fan, believe it or not. I love this fucking dude. Thank you so much. Hell yeah. You're a massive inspiration to us. For real, dude. Yeah. Thanks for coming on, man.

Thanks for doing the show, bro. Yeah, yeah. I was going to pick a skateboard to see if you could do that ollie. Yeah, yeah. He can't fucking ollie, dude. He's lying. I was lying. Well, I'll tell you what.

We can bet on whether or not Stavros can do that ollie at betdsi.com. Bet DSI. I will, dude. I'll go oiltsi.com. Bettsi. I will, dude. I'll go oiled up. Yeah, hey, thanks. Okay, we're still doing the show here. Later, dog. Okay, cool.

We'll get out of here in like 15. Yeah. Is that cool? Yeah, we got. Yeah, for sure, man. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, we got, yeah, 13 minutes, then we're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cool. For sure. Sounds good, man. Of course, bettsi.com Guys, I've been waiting for 45 minutes To tell you about Beth Thankfully We can just be alone together Yeah, thank god

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No, there's no problem. Later, bye. Man, business is 20 years you gotta easy to use mobile playing interface play when get paid they offer odds on pretty much everything else too including all major sporting events politics reality tv yeah pretty much everything else pretty much everything you can bet um like getting you getting your dick sucked here's what we're gonna be betting on this week well um i guess they're all leaving now. Yeah, they're all leaving.

Now, here we are. Hey, we got 10 more minutes on the show. Is that all right? Get on the air. Grab the mic. Grab the mic. Yeah, come on. Yeah.

Okay, so this is the red one. The red one, yeah. All right, the black one. Both of them are still live, right? Those are both still live. Yeah, get in there. This is the owner of the club here in Yonkers. What's your name, sir?

Gene DiNapoli. Gene DiNapoli. Guys, this is going to be great because this is a much better format. It's actually better. Yeah. Yeah. Gene's on my course rodeo. 40-year entertainer, Gene.

What's the club? Let's plug the club. Where are we right now? Well, we're at Central Stage on Central Avenue. You want to hold the mic a little closer. Sorry. Central Stage on Central Avenue in Yonkers, New York. And this is a music and comedy and live entertainment venue. Yeah, I love it.

Just this week alone, we have a salsa show tomorrow. Wow. A disco show on Friday. Hell yes, dude. A black comedy show early on Saturday. I love black comedy. A country band Saturday night. Sunday afternoon we have a brunch with drag queens.

Oh, that's a pot. And Sunday night we have a show that's dedicated to Woodstock. Whoa. That is honestly a wild lineup. That's pretty awesome. That sounds fun, dude. Also, it was just Bam Margera and his, I don't know, simpleton friend from Connecticut. Yeah, Vinny.

Now that Vinny left, we can really talk some real shit, can't we? We can make fun of Vinny and his thrasher hoodie and thrasher hat. Quoting Billy Madison. No, interrupting Bam quoting Billy Madison. To also quote it. You seen that show, Big Mouth on Netflix? Anyway, real quick. We got to finish this live.

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Free cash, baby. My dad was a professional gambler. Really? He used to travel the world shooting dice. Really? So one day we'd have a million dollars in the house, and the next day we'd be begging for $20 for gas. That's wild. Wow.

A wild ride. Where'd you grow up? The Bronx. All right. I still live there. Just down the road. What? Just down the road. Yeah.

I remember one day coming home from school and sitting in my living room was Bruno San Martino, Mario Andretti, Gilles Pizzito, and Leo De Rocha from the Brooklyn Dodgers. What? Holy shit. Because in Atlantic City back in the 80s, every casino had like a sports figure as a goodwill ambassador. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my father got to know them all, and they came to my house for lunch one day, and I walked in. I was like, whoa, what the fuck?

You know, this was a great upbringing as a kid. That's wild. But then I know what gambling does to you. Sure. Some dark stuff. I gamble on business. I've lost a bunch of money this year. Yeah. You lost a bunch. That's wild. But then I know what gambling does to you. Sure. Some dark stuff. I gamble on business. I've lost a bunch of money this year. Yeah.

You lost a bunch of money in cryptocurrency. You heard of that? Yeah. You heard of that sort of thing? Yeah. Yeah. That kind of shit. Yeah.

It's fun. It's nice. It's nice, but if you want to lose money like that, just give me your money. I'll throw it down the toilet. I'll tell you. There's a rush. We got you, Nick. Boy, you give me $5,000.

I'll give you 500 tickets to any show you want. Yeah. You go see black comedy. You go see black comedy. First time you're me $5,000, I give you 500 tickets to any show you want. Yeah. 500 tickets. You go see black comedy. First time you're up $7,000. It's like, wow, this is pretty cool. You can just print money. But then you're down $14,000.

It's like, well, it'll come back. And then you're down $32,000. And it's like, well, I guess I'll just file my taxes. Yeah. And stop trying. My father told me, if you really want to hear the machines go off, take a roll of quarters, go to a pay phone, put them in and hang up. It's the same noise when the coins come out.

I lived both sides of the coin. So you're not a gambling man. No, I gamble on business, like I said. How'd you get into comedy? Well, it's not comedy. I'm an entertainer for 40 years. What kind of entertainment do you do? Well, I was at one time America's youngest Elvis impersonator.

Yeah, you do resemble the guy. I was 14 traveling the country. The world's youngest Elvis impersonator now has to be at least 47 years old. I think so. You know, Bruno Mars did Elvis when he was 3 and 4 and 5. Oh, so he beat your record. Yeah, well, that was in the 80s and 90s. But I used to travel the country doing Elvis, and then I stayed home, and I started doing the Blues Brothers.

Okay. I'm an entertainer. I work every weekend in different restaurants and casinos. And then I became an actor about three years ago. Nice. And I did a couple of mafia parts and detective parts in shows. Okay. What's your favorite role?

Anything we've seen? What's your favorite role? You know what? I'm doing a horror movie right now, and it's called Demon Nun, and I play a detective. Wow. And that's pretty cool because I get to be nasty with the people and have legal behind me. Yes.

You know, so I can say whatever the fuck I want. Did you go out for the Sopranos prequel? You know what? I'm not going to tell you I did. My name was thrown in the hat. Yeah. I'm probably the only Italian-American entertainer in New York that was never on the original Sopranos. I know.

Because they offered me a small part, but it wasn't speaking. And I thought I was bigger than that. And I said, no, I need a speaking part. Right. And they pushed me under the rug, but I'm happy with my career. Yeah, I feel like there had to have been 30 million people that went out for the Sopranos prequel. I will tell you that three years ago when I started, I beat out 4,500 actors to play John Gotti's friend Angelo. Oh, in Gotti?

It was a show called Kingpin. Oh, in Kingpin. It was on History Channel. And they flew me to Bogota, South America for 12 days. Oh, yeah. Carte Blanche. And that was the first thing I ever went out for. Wow.

So you were spoiled. I was spoiled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, but. And that was the first thing I ever went out for. Wow. So you were spoiled. I was spoiled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, but you've been in the game 40 years, you know. Yeah, but not acting. Not acting. But you know what I made a living as Elvis, and I look nothing like Elvis. Yeah.

You know, only for the black hair and the sideburns and the jumpsuit. Somebody said, hey, you've been acting all your life. You just didn't know it. Right. Exactly. So the mafia roles come very easy because I guess I'm a street kid From the Bronx Sure I know how to talk

I know how to You know Shake someone down Yeah I can do What I gotta do I feel like Probably the sweet spot For that kind of stuff

Was like the early 90s It was I feel like that genre Just kind of died out Well What died out The like mafioso genre Well it did

But you know There's a new thing Called the Irishman now Yes So I got a very Very very very small part in that. And that was actually given to me. That's the one that De Niro and Pacino were in those dumb costumes for.

Yeah, why were they dressed like that? They got those high-ass shoes. Because the guy that De Niro plays was actually 6'2". Oh. So they had to make him taller. But there couldn't be any suspension of disbelief? They just had to put him in stilts for the whole thing They were like Frankenstein shoes

I mean, I know who Robert De Niro is I'm not going to watch a movie and be like Oh, this guy's supposed to be 6'2 Well, you know, Scorsese's directing it And he wants everything spot on So, you know, I was in a room this big People can't see it, but what do you think? It's a 10-foot room?

I was in a room with De Niro, Pesci, Pacino, Harvey Keitel, Bobby Cannavale, and Scorsese. That's crazy. And there was only four of the guys like me, which were non-stars. And I looked over to one guy and said, yo, how the fuck did we get here, man? There's like 900 guys outside. I was like, well, I was an Elvis in person. I got into black comedy.

So, you know, I figured getting to the nightclub business. I love the club. Beautiful club. This is great, man. Maybe we could do something here. Yeah, honestly, yes. It's a great venue. It's not a bar. It's not an upscale showroom. It's right in the middle. People come here. They drink a little bit. It's not a bar. It's not an upscale showroom. It's right in the middle. It's fun.

People come here. They drink a little bit. It's not high-priced tickets. You know, you go to the city, you're getting $40 for parking, $75 a ticket, $15 a drink. We're not like that. Right. You know, and like I said, we run the gamut of shows. We have 40 shows in 30 days.

Right. And it's all on the website. May I plug the website? Please do. Absolutely. CentralStageNY.com. Hell yeah. And Bam was here last night and for

the first night of the tour, we had a pissing, man. It was great. It was great, man. People came from Connecticut and Yonkers and the

Bronx and New Jersey and I hope we get enough support to keep it going. Yeah. So it's new. It's a new venue. We're only open

four months. Okay. Yeah, well hopefully this will give you a little boost. We got a good listenership. Well, that's great. We're only open four months. Hopefully this will give you a little boost. We've got a good listenership. That's great. Maybe we can produce something here.

Do a show in Yonkers, boys? Yeah, sure. Why not? Do a stand-up show up here? I thought about buying a house in Yonkers. Did you? Yeah. We're both in Bed-Stuy now.

We're in Brooklyn. It's hopping. We've got downtown yonkers. They're building up restaurants. You still live in the Bronx? Yeah, I'm in the Bronx. My wife works at a local hospital. We've got no kids, so it doesn't make sense for me to go to a better neighborhood

with schools because we can't take advantage of the school system. With my gigs, I hit any bridge, George Washington, I'm a half-out from anywhere. I've got to do my gigs. If I move George Washington Frogs Neck Connect I'm a half owl From anywhere I gotta do my gigs That's nice If I move up here

You know it's a Now when you were A young entertainer Were you also a married man Or did you No I got married later in life I'm 32 You must have been

A hound dog out there The Elvis Some nice pieces of pussy Out there You know it was fun Yeah It was fun Had a nice time

You know I'm no Brad Pitt Or Leo DiCaprio But No but you're onCaprio, but there were three things that had the girls flocking. Did you ever fuck a woman that afterwards they realized you weren't Elvis? No. No. I wasn't in any federal institutions. But there were three. They might have screamed Oh Elvis But There were three things

That made women gravitate To me and the guys in the band Yeah We were Italian Yes We were from New York Of course And I did Elvis

Yes So in the Midwest And Florida We were cops You're exotic We were cops The triple threat You know we used to walk

In the nightclubs Italian from New York Yes We used to walk In the nightclubs. Italian from New York. Yes. We used to walk in the nightclubs, and it was like the gates of heaven would open. That's the best. Really? Really. It gets old hat there for sure.

But see, here's the thing, man. Scorsese should do a movie about the Elvis impersonators. That sounds fascinating, honestly. Operating in the mid-Atlantic in the fucking 80s. In the Midwest. The Midwest. Or the Midwest or wherever. I mean, it's just like. Well, there's a lot of documentaries on it. impersonators that sounds fascinating honestly in the fucking in the midwest or the midwest or wherever i mean it's just like well there's a lot of documentaries on it you know elvis

impersonators yeah yeah but that's an interesting what you just said is really interesting yeah somebody should option something let's write that movie somebody write the book and then i had a friend of mine writing reality show about me yeah called the king of new york yes and it was supposed to follow me for my day-to- day activities I used to own a couple of businesses Like laundromats and pizzerias Okay And then I would go back And at night we'd do a big show

Cool And we were pitching it And they didn't think it would sell And I said to the guy Listen we got the biggest demographics In the world Elvis fans Yep

New York fans Italian fans That's right And you know Sopranos At the height of that Yeah And you know

It fell to the wayside But they're trying to pitch it again. Yeah. You know. I'm, if we could produce it, we would watch the shit out of that. Yeah. It was fun. It was fun. It got to a point where we were telling girls and women, we were staying at the Ramada.

Yeah. When we were actually at the Hilton. Yeah. Because we'd walk in our room and there'd be like two girls in the bathtub waiting for us. They would break into the room. Yeah, they'd break into the room And there'd be like Two girls in the bathtub Waiting for us They would break into the room Yeah they'd break into the room Yes Yeah

That rules Damn Should we become Elvis in person Oh yeah Oh yeah Just sucking off An Elvis impersonator

Through his jumpsuit In the Ramada That's sick That's sick Grandma I love that man That's great That's beautiful man

It was a fun life God I wish I I used to be into Elvis When I was a child actually Oh yeah I used to be a little Rockabilly kid

Yeah Back in the day But I I don't know What are you like 25? When I was a little kid I was like I was obsessed with Elvis

Looking at this guy You think he's 25 years old? Yes I'm youthful This looks like a 25 He, I was obsessed with Elvis. Looking at this guy, you think he's 25 years old? Yes, I'm youthful. This looks like a 25-year-old. He knows I have youthful energy. He's completely bald and missing a tooth. He's wearing sweatpants, red sweatpants. Thank you.

Well, that's only because we're pieces of shit. Fight all the hookups. And Bed-Stuy. Thank you. Shout out to Bed-Stuy. He's very young. In my heart I guess he's got a young energy

So you're a rockabilly guy And you're in large part No no Rockabilly guy No when I was When I was like a baby I was just obsessed with Elvis Yeah yeah yeah

Elvis That goes with a lot of people Yeah it was great Were you a fan of Elvis Yeah I was a fan since I'm five Oh okay I was a closet Elvis You know I used to sing in my bedroom

And then One day my uncle Owned a restaurant About a half a mile from here And he said to me You want to get up and sing And I was a closet Elvis You know I used to sing in my bedroom And then one day my uncle owned a restaurant About a half a mile from here And he said to me You want to get up and sing? And I was like yes We got up we did some standard

And I turned to the band and I said You guys know Blue Suede Shoes? And they go yeah I said well I want to sing it And I was 14 And he goes well we can't tell them no That's the boss's nephew And I did like three songs

I made like $400 in tips And I thought it was great, but they were throwing money at me because my uncle owned a restaurant. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mother was the coat check girl. Right. So I got up the next morning.

I thought I was like, you know. Yeah, famous. I thought I was like Mario Alonso. Yeah, yeah. I came down to the bathroom with a towel, you know, around my neck. And my mother said,

throw out the garbage. I said, excuse me, I'm a trained singer. You're a star. Pounce! Hit me in the back of the head. So I brought the garbage right out. So my mother kept me grounded.

Yes, of course. You know, you go out and do your shows and make your money. Sunday morning, you're getting up, you're doing your chores. Of course. I was like, all right, you know. Good woman, good woman. Yeah, it was a fun life. I wonder, like, why is it just Elvis, though, that people...

Where did the impersonations of Elvis start? He's such an iconic person. I think it's the fact that he was a nobody that became somebody. And he loved his mother, he loved God, he loved his country. In the height of his career, he got drafted. And he could have opted out and said, listen, I make the government $5 million a year in taxes. Leave me out of the service

He felt it was his duty To go in So when he did that He got all the adults To like him So I think he was the first Child Teenager

And adult Performer That everybody liked I can understand Transcending Generational interest But like why Why is he the guy

When you think of Celebrity impersonators, Elvis is the go-to. Why not? Well, because it never really caught on with anybody else. So think about it. There aren't that many like... What did Elvis have? He had a voice? Sure. A look. He had a look, yeah. A handsome man. Almost a costume that was... But people don't do it.

Well, I guess there is Michael impersonators. There is Michael. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And for females, it's Marilyn. Yeah, Marilyn Monroe. And she's not even A singing star Right right right She's more of a movie star Sure

But there are things That make Elvis iconic I heard she was She was actually real big You know Marilyn Monroe She was a large woman Heavy set

No No that was a thing online Like a couple years ago Right The anniversary of her death No she just had big titties You go in that bathroom And look at the picture

And you see she You got her in the bathroom? Yeah. Because fat women online like to say she was a size 20. At the anniversary of her death, there was a thing that women online were like, oh, when she died, Marilyn Monroe was 215 pounds or whatever. And it's like, it's not true. Doesn't everybody blow up

when they die? I mean, Elvis was 260. If you die in a bathtub, yeah. And Michael, you know, I mean, you're talking about legendary performers. Sure. You know, the Beatles. Sure. There's never going to be anybody from this era

50 years from now that's going to be imitated the way it is. Well, our heroes now are Elon Musk. Bam, I would say. Yeah, bam. Have you met him before? Were you hanging out with him Throughout the week? Well last night

Yeah yeah yeah Did you know who he was Before you did the show? Sure From the TV show He's big Yeah he's big Yeah

I'm not gonna lie to you And tell you I sat home And watched it I saw clips But you know I was a working entertainer I didn't watch much TV You know I used to go home

And throw VHS tapes Which you don't even know What those are I know what they are No we've jacked off To VHS tapes which you don't even know what those are I know what they know we've checked out we're 30 yeah but that BAM here was I had already lying here a few weeks ago then we had some older legendary guys like Jackie the Joke man Nick DiPaolo who's oh yeah yeah we got you know we got up-and-comers. Yeah. We have people that are popular, and we got people that were popular 20, 30 years before.

We give them the showcase and the venue and say, hey, let's do it. Let's put it out there to the masses. That's great, man. Yeah. We're doing all right with that. Yeah. We're doing great. How long have you been in this spot? Four months.

Oh, okay. You ever do Elvis here? No, I'm not allowed I work at the casino Oh, contractually you're not allowed Yeah, I'm not allowed to do my own show The casino also does comedy, don't they? Oh, they do everything

Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, they do it And I'm contracted by them Because I play there four or five times a year Nice So I can't play in the area Right, right, right They have a non-compete for Elvis in person

Well, for any tribute act they booked on a Thursday There's a non-compete for Elvis in person. Well, for any tribute act they booked on a Thursday, there's a non-compete for this area. Because they're not going to pay you the money that you ask and then have you work two blocks away. Unfortunately, fortunately, I'm there. Unfortunately, my club is only a mile away.

Have you ever had... Can we get a little Elvis? I don't want to violate your non-compete. That's a show, baby. Have you ever had... Can we get a little Elvis? Can you do... Yeah, here we go. What is this? I don't want to violate your non-compete. Well, that's a show, baby. I'm allowed to talk any way I want. Yes. But I can't do a show within a couple of miles.

Can you do Elvis saying, in the same way he says, thank you very much, but suck me very dick? Yes, yeah, yeah. We'll go out on suck me very dick. Yeah, yeah. That would make this. That would make our day. Seriously. Yeah. Yeah. We'll go out on suck me very dick. Yeah. Yeah. That would make our day. Seriously. Come on. I respect that.

It's disrespectful. That would be disrespectful. Elvis. Yeah. Suck me very dick. That's almost better. That's almost better. Yeah.

It is better. That is better. But man, I wish I could go back. I will leave you with a thank you very much. I wish I could go back 40 years and give you the advice of telling you to say that to the groupies. Yeah. As a young Elvis person. Suck me very dick.

And me as like a time traveling, possibly mentally disabled man coming to you and saying, listen, you've got to say something. When you're getting blown in Duluth. In the Ramada with the door kicked down. With a high heel print where the handle used to be. After these bitches have scaled the third floor to suck you off. I love it. Well, thank you. This is great.

This is so much. This is the highlight of the show. It was better than the beginning It was too chaotic It was too chaotic Yeah we had a baby Yeah yeah yeah Bam was talking about his We're in the same room

Yeah yeah yeah Bam was talking about His wife's pussy Yeah yeah It's something you'll never hear me talk about Yeah yeah They got a lot of love Well thank you so much

Thanks for hopping on It was great meeting you man It was great Thanks for hosting us here. Love the place. Love the show. Appreciate it. You want to plug the...

One last plug for the venue. We're at the... Yeah, centralstageny.com. And that's at 2361 Central Avenue, Yonkers, New York. Check us out on all social media. And our calendar's up. Great. And maybe in the next couple weeks we get you guys.

We'll do a Comptown Live. We should. Also, come see us guys in D.C. We didn't plug this one. March 30th. Two shows. A stand-up show at 8 p.m. A live podcast at 10 p.m. That's the Black Cat D.C. as part of the D.C. Underground Comedy Festival.

I have it on my Instagram. I have it on my Twitter. I'm going to put it on my website. We'll all plug all that shit. So, yeah, come see us. We have Funny Moms on Monday. Monday the 11th. 11th. And I'm in Chicago the 22nd.

Milwaukee the 23rd. Eau Claire the 24th. I have the ticket links up on my Twitter. Yeah. Come see us, guys. And go see Bam. Go see Bam at the dates that they plugged earlier. Yeah.

All right, bye. Let's keep going over here. guys. Go see Bam. Go see Bam at the dates that they plugged earlier. Alright, bye. Store belongings you love and need Access Storage has flexible and portable storage solutions at a location near you. Store belongings you love and need extra space for. Try four weeks free. Details at accessstorage.ca. Shop Canadian. Store Canadian. Car accidents are dramatic enough, so the claims process shouldn't be. Thankfully, TD Insurance Auto Centers are a one-stop auto claim shop for all your car insurance needs.

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