The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 173 – CHang Gilis

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

HEY EVERY BADDY MEET OUR NEW HOST, CHANG GILIS

Well, we're back, folks. Hello. And we're doing an extra Chinese episode. Welcome to Contown. Nick, what do you think about the recent controversy? Which recent controversy? In Hong Kong. I'm talking about the mass protests. Oh, I'm actually like pro PRC on that. Are you? Yeah. Why, the extradition rules? It's colonialists to support those Hong Kong protesters. I mean, seriously. Well, wasn't it? Okay. I mean, I didn't really mean to go into that. But yeah. No, yeah, fuck those first. And the media is not going to cover. There's plenty of people in Hong Kong that are on the side of the Chinese government who like the

what that lady can't sell them apart. Yeah, I'm supposed to know which ones are which. That's why there's fighting happening. Right. If everyone there thought it was good or bad, there wouldn't be any fucking protest to have. Exactly. It's like that scene with agent Smith, multiplying into more agent Smith's and then you can't tell who the original agent Smith is, right? Yeah. That's what it and but they're all doing karate and there's no Neo. They're just all agent Smith's. Yeah. Um, gauging Smith. How about gauging Smith and people send me tweets and I'm back on Twitter now and almost every tweet somebody sends to me.

I click on it and it says you can't view this because you're blocked by this person. Like I have no I'm blocked by a ton of people. I don't even know who they are. I'm blocked by the I was like sometimes it hurts. Yeah, there was a guy had no interaction with them. There was a guy that for like six months was like my guy on Jeopardy. I was like fucking somebody like I clicked that and I'm blocked by him and I'm like, but I root it for you. The Arthur Arthur says some shit about you, bro. Yeah. He talks. He talks shit on the Jeopardy winners for you. Fucking Alex from Jeopardy blocked me. Not Trebek. No, of

course not. He's he's based. He's he rocks. I'm gonna go. I'm pretty sure it's actually him. It's the user name is N word griper, but it's a picture of Alex Trebek. Yeah, it's probably him. I think it's him. Yeah, because why, you know, would the real Alex Trebek use his real picture real name and then be dropping n bombs and group DMs? Of course not. Right. He would use N word griper. So people are like, there's no way to. Yeah, the scent, you know, to throw off the scent. Absolutely. And he thought he was gonna get like, because, you know, people dox them. They were like, no, this is Alex Trebek. And he immediately fucking went

to the meeting and he's like, I have cancer. Brilliant. I have stage four pancreatic brilliant. So we all felt bad for him. Yeah. And everyone was like, Oh, my God. And then, you know, once that guy, the guy who was going to dox him died of a heroin overdose. Luckily, excuse me. He died of a heroin overdose, like, like most white men. Oh, my God. That's our death row. That's that's our Omaha Beach is is the opioid. Yeah, I think so. I would love to start my own mini opioid crisis. Yeah, sounds nice. Anyway, so then that guy, that guy died and Alex was like, guess who doesn't have cancer anymore? Did he go into remission? Yeah, he

doesn't have cancer anymore. He's you can't survive stage four. He did. He survived. Wait, did he say that? Yeah. I think I don't know. Trebek. You got on. I've been like too busy learning everything about these Chinese protests. I've gotten I've been filling my brain with every detail and I have so much information. They've been obsessed with the Chinese protests. The Chinese government wants to put Hong Kong and ease people in prison right for breaking Chinese style rules. That's unacceptable for it. Basically, when you cross the border from Hong Kong into mainland China, you're supposed to take your shoes

off and for no one is wearing shoes in the whole country for years. People were just leaving their shoes on. That's rude as a matter of courtesy. It's like when I got that double parking ticket on Alternate Side Street parking. That's bullshit to most of the time. You don't get those, but they got me. How they get you and it's bad. You're better off just getting the fucking street sweeping ticket because that's $45 and the double parking ticket is one 15. And that's kind of what's going on in China right now. Yeah, a little bit. You know, people were going back into China, but they were leaving their shoes on. That's right. I

mean, I think that that's I mean, that could totally be related to the SNL scandal. Yeah. Right. Is that Shane was pro PRC and Lorne Michaels and the powers that be at NBC pro Hong Kong. The reporting on it's been fucked up because it's like they keep saying that Shane's talking about Chinatown. He's not. He's talking about Hong Kong. Yeah. He's talking about Taiwan actually. Uh-huh. Not to be more specific, which is a disputed territory as we know. Yeah. It when he said, let all the the CHN words, the CH version of the N word, the Chinese N word, the Chinese N word is what I'm not going to say. We're not

going to say it because apparently it's it's as bad as the N word and Nick and I are also both up for. Yeah. Rolls the SNL. Right. It's it's I had no idea that if you said it's apparently it's bad as the N word. Apparently if you say that CH word, black people might beat you up. They get mad about it too. Well, that's isn't that what makes something as bad as the N word? If you take away the part where black people might be the N words, not that bad anymore. Then it's just a thing that hurts people's feelings. I'm not really concerned about that. There's no threat of direct violence. Yeah. Oh, no. What makes the N word bad is that I

might get beaten up by black people. Oh, yeah. No point was I concerned with hurting people's feelings. Oh, not the historical legacy of slavery. Yeah, I'm not that word has been used. I'm not. Look, my history goes back to when did the Simpsons come out 1989? Yeah, 89. Yeah. Well, what was I gonna say? Yeah. I don't know. Well, solidarity with our brother Shane. We actually wrote that bit for the man change. Yeah, we've been ghostwriting. And you know what? And here's the thing for everybody criticizing Matt and Shane, we I scripted that entire episode personally in Chinese and they said they weren't sure about it. They in the

Chinese in traditional Chinese and Matt and Shane sat down and learned Chinese and then translated back into English. So think about that before you criticize these guys that they spent the time to learn your dumb language. Most people I mean, it sounds funny. Can you just I mean like our language sounds funny to Chinese people? Yeah, I mean, if you that's why people do the accent because it sounds funny just because I can't make this point on social media or whatever. And like, because it's not even worth it fucking waiting into this. But like what he says on the fucking show, because like it used to be for a while,

it was like, you know, when the first when all this started, it started with that Lindy West article about the comedy has a dude, bro problem. Yeah, yeah, sure. And the point of that article was that rape jokes are bad because they punched down. But there's a right way to do a rape joke. And she says like Louis C K's joke, which doesn't even even by her own dumb fucking, it doesn't apply. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. But then there wasn't understanding for a while with all this up until now that like you can't there is a time and a place to say those things. Mm hmm. And then like the Bill Maher thing was where it's like, you

know, that one was kind of a gray area. But he got off for that. But even if you if you apply the like punching up and down rubric, if you can there is a defense for what Shane said, because it's always people saying that's indefensible. It's just pure hatred. It's like, no, what Matt says, initially is is talking about Chinatown. He's like, Oh, yeah, they just had some like fucked up building. And change. Shane says, that was close. I called him Chang, because to me he's trying to kill. Because I think you're a chain. Yeah. Shane says, Yeah, and then somebody's like, Yeah, why don't we just let all the in there? Let them live in

there? Yeah. Which if you like deconstruct the joke, he's speaking from the voice of like whatever social elements that are a play that relegate Chinese immigrants to shitty tenement housing. Right. So it's like, put all the, you know, whatever in the put all the C8. Yeah, fuck, I hate this. I don't even know how like I don't want to say because it feels like I don't want to make a point of saying it because that's stupid and I don't fucking care about infantile. Yeah. But let's just let's call them Japs. Okay. Because it's not a good Japs. Great. Because that's not like, is it racist? I think it was, I think it's now seen as

racist. Damn. But it's misapplied because it refers to Japanese. How about you're here? We'll call them Jews. Let's call them Jews. I'm going to give you the pass on that one. Right. So it's Shane says, put all the kikes in there and then, you know, or should I say Jews? You could say either. Honestly, it doesn't offend me. All right. Well, I don't, I don't know the way to go here because I feel like Jews doesn't hit hard enough. Yeah. You can say kike. The point is, is that it's not Shane calling the Chinese people kikes. It's the system. It's the system speaking as institutionalized. Exactly. Right. The, the, the local,

what is the actual line? What does he say? It goes, it's the institutions that's society. God. What are the funniest lines of all time? It's so funny. So that and the, the I was happy to see he started doing shirts to the Epstein shirt. Epstein shirt looks like it. So he's all the time he fucking. Yeah, I'm sure he caked up off that good for him and he handled the logistics too. I know he's a brother of the of the shirt game. Yeah. Anyways, anyway, yeah, I mean like whatever. What the point is, is that like, even if you want to use the punching up and down fucking metric to, to weigh whether what

he said is okay or not specific instance of him saying Jews, Chinese Jews. Yeah, whatever kikes, whatever you want to put it, you say it, I'll start and then you say it. Okay. So he goes, yeah, let the kikes live there. Yeah. So that when he says that, but for Chinese people, right, you understand, he's speaking, he's talking about whatever, like, you know, it's local government, literally no difference from when Mark Twain says the N word. Right. Because it has literally, man. Yes. It's not Mark Twain calling that guy the N word. That's the name speaking in the voice of the system. Uh huh. You know, now the

Andrew, you know, Mac McCarthy and blood meridian. Yeah. He says it the whole book, the whole book. And that was written what in the 80s? Yeah. It's like, that's funny, too. It's like, woke people are supposed to be smart. And it's like, have you read any book ever? Every book has the every single piece of literature I've ever read. Page one is like, it was a gay day and a bunch of poop hanging out in front of the soda pop. You know, 100%. Look at the back cover and it's written in 2003. Yeah. Yeah. And they want a Pulitzer or whatever they give books. And then they started doing books where it's like a

Hispanic guy that's like, you know, how to beat your girlfriend. The blood poured out of her nose, like a beautiful rainbow that turned into butterfly. Very descriptive. Yeah. The magical realism of domestic. Yeah, most books do have that word. Yeah. And Shane, I think as an artist, he should be a protected class. And yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know. They were wrong about MSG. I don't know. That's that's they were dead wrong about MSG. MSG is delicious. That's the thing where it's like, you have to get to know Matt better. And what makes Matt fun is that like, he's just a guy. I do the same

thing where it's just you like waste all this time learning bullshit. Half of it's wrong. Matt's like a Reddit guy, right? I think so. Yeah. He like reads a lot of shit. He reads shit. That's just a fucking like waste. Yeah, you know, like just there's no reason to have any of that information. But yeah, no, that's that's what's going to happen to their show. Do you know? I guess they're probably just going to go back to but they deleted the whole thing. Didn't they know? I think they just deleted some video episodes. I thought they deleted deleted the whole back archive. I don't know. And then the other thing

Shane says is that it's like annoying to hear someone learn English or whatever. I'm going to hear someone learning English. Oh, you know, which like doesn't I don't think I've ever overheard Chinese people learning English. No, they're just speaking English with a heavy Chinese accent. You know what's so funny, dude? I lived with that Chinese family. I told this story before, but like the parents did the parents didn't speak English. The dad maybe a little bit. The grandma not at all. And then the son and the daughter would have to like translate and the son was like just this like, you know, he was

younger. He was probably like 13 and he would just sit on his laptop playing like Korean fucking MMOs all day long. And but while he was sitting there, like he'd be like, you know, he was like very like nice and polite or whatever. He's like, oh, Nick, my mom wants to know if you can pay the rent a couple days early this month. I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. No problem. And then he's like, okay, thank you. And then he would like go play MMOs. And then he would be on like Mike and he would be like, no way. And then he was just driving n bombs constantly. Oh yeah, just constantly. But like not like that was the only part of a gamer link

that was the only part of a he adopted was just saying the n word. And it was like, this is insane. I was like, this is fucking insane to listen to. Yeah. And it's like, but really it's like why like the first generation Chinese immigrants living in like tenement housing in New York, like that kid is the face of how like cultural sharing is supposed to fucking work. Right. You know, it's like that he's probably so far away from any idea of like being canceled is like, yeah, that's how the other kids at school talk. Well, I think even New York City like teenagers of any ethnicity just say it all the time. Yeah, I saw a hijabi girl

outside of the bagel shop by where I used to live. And she was like, you know, she looked like a sweet like Pakistani girl like wearing a hijab and she was like talking to some other little kid and she was like, yeah, anyway, I was saying my my m word like, you know, like she was just dropping it constantly. Yeah, like Arab kids drop it. Korean kids love saying it. Yeah. Everybody loves saying it's just like, you know, let black people have something. Right. Everything's been taken away from right. But I feel like some people get the past like that guy X or not. The rainbow hair dude. What's his name? Yeah, you don't know. It's kind

of like how, you know, it's unfair because, you know, the real problem with pedophiles is the wealth disparity in terms of access to being a pedophile. What do you mean? Well, with money, it's bad as it is. But like with pedophiles, it's like, I guess Bernie would put it. He's like 1% of 1% of the pedophiles get the fuck 99% of the kids and get away with it because of their power, because of their power. Yeah. And it's like, where's the solidarity among that? They should have more classes in Jeffrey Epstein, you know, and why Jeffrey Epstein and Chris Tucker fucking helping out the guys on to catch a predator because they

want to keep. Oh, because they want to because they forgot the old neighborhood. Right. You know, right. They forgot where they came from. Yeah, they should ever got coming up at the very least be buying all those mics hard lemonade and the fucking lube and condoms or whatever. They they use lube on the kids. I don't know. That's the thing that there's like the decoys. That's that's a day. How dumb are you as a pedophile? You think you're talking to an 11 year old and they're like, bring lube. Yeah, like an 11 year old. Right. Yeah. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want my shit to have any like rug burns or anything. Yeah. Yeah. Make

sure you bring lube to rape me. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sounds good. Um, what was I gonna say? I forgot. Oh yeah. They got to Kashi six nine, who I guess is in jail right now. I'm ratting out everyone he's ever met was like a Mexican kid that like grew up in Bushwick and he just says the n word all the time. No one has a problem with that. Yeah. I mean, everybody has shit. The problem now, too, is like now this is reached a tipping point where like they're just like all of these people that tried to drag, you know, like fucking the legionist gang's guys never figuring out that you can search old tweets and they're like finding shit

because like everybody has something. Of course, you know, there was some like New York Times opinion writer who fucking drag Shane and then immediately like conservatives just went through her history and she's like, you know, be like if like, if you were faggot, don't touch it. You know, it's just like, oh, boy, shit. I remember there was a ton of like anti Asian racist jokes and stand up when I started there. That's until people forget that cancel Colbert happened in 2014. Oh, yeah. And we were all like, okay. That was five years ago. Yeah. They're like settle down. You know, yeah, we laughed at that. I know. Yeah. We thought

it was funny. Yeah. That's some like Taiwanese slam poets got mad at Colbert. Yeah, literally for saying Ching Chong, too. It's not like he was fucking. Yeah. It's not like it's not like, you know, he was like China sucked. You know, it's like he was doing racism to the same fucking degree. It's it's kind of wild. Yeah. I'm not saying that it's like it's bad necessarily like because it probably wasn't good for him to say that in 2004 or 14. But like it's wild how people just suddenly act like the rules have always been the same. I don't know. But whatever. Yeah. I mean, they just outlawed beating women like three years ago. Yeah. And like

what did they do? They put out a press release or something. Ray Wright. That should have been Ray Rice's defense. He should have said, I'm the first guy to go to jail for beating a woman. He should have. What are you looking at? I just made fun of Jake on Twitter. No, he's mad. Is he going off, dude? You can't like. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did I say this? What did he say? I know. All right. Whatever you say, man. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Oh, that's going to drive people nuts. Oh, that you showed me a text on your phone. Yeah. And they know we like they want to know what it says. They want to know what it says, but you'll never know. They'll never know. Yeah. And that's what

they want to know. And they're going to hate you for it. It's my fault, folks. You can jump into my mind. I don't get to see the text and I don't. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other thing too. It's because it's like, you know, I mean, Shane, everybody should be able to do these kinds of jokes or whatever. But then it's like, yeah, but you're appealing to an audience that's, you know, it's like, well, they're not dangerous per se, but they are annoying. Well, you're kind of which people, you know, people that like comedy. Oh, yeah. Comedy fans are the worst. They suck. Yeah. But but here's the thing is like well, comedy doesn't have any actual fans. These people, they don't like the people that

consume that don't like comedy. They just feel like these are things that they should be participating in people that are actually fans of like comedy. Like, you know, no, I mean, my parents like like Bill Maher and SNL and stuff. Yeah, like shit that feels like no, they're stupid. They're like Matt. They are stupid. I mean, but they feel like it doesn't count if they're like, Alec Baldwin is like doing a Trump impression. They feel like that's that's that's funny. I did talk to my dad. My dad's like, I think Colbert is great. We like Colbert came up and I was like trying to be like, yeah, can't can't believe what happened to that guy. Yeah. My dad's my dad's like, I watch a show every

night. And I was like, it sucks. Does he laugh? Do you think they laugh? My dad's like, yeah, I think it's funny. And it's like, I'm like, how? Because here's the thing. It's like, I look at like, you know, all this woke bullshit. And I'm like, these people are completely out of touch. This is not Trump one. But it's like, I'm also out of touch 100%. And it's like, no, like what is reality is a bunch of people just being like, you know, everything's fine. You know, like things are fine again. Because I think about it and it's like, yeah, the world's fucked up or whatever. But I think about like my dad and like, you know, what situation he's just in the living room, what his situation is economically or whatever.

And it's like, you're never going to be able to retire. You're gonna your job is in like a fucking precarious position. It's like you're the health insurance situation with them is like fucked up. And but it's like, well, I guess it was like that when I was a teenager. And he didn't really seem to give a shit then. It's like, why would why would he care just because I moved to Brooklyn and I'm surrounded by these conversations all the time, right? You know, it doesn't it doesn't affect him whatsoever. Nobody nobody. Yeah. If you live in Delaware, you're like, you know, Oh, there's a new Batman. Oh, it's a Joker. I guess that's that's a type of Batman, right? No, okay, I guess we'll try that Popeye sandwich. And

honestly, that sounds great. It sounds a lot better than whatever this we're gonna like go to war with Iran. It'll be something that's like wildly unjustified. And like, there's just people that are just going to sign up and go to that war and come back and then like, have just have to be lifted into their truck. Are we eligible for the war? What do you mean? The draft? No, we're too old, baby. What is it? 28 is the cutoff? Some like that. Yeah, so sick. Yeah, you're still military age. I think you can listen till you're like 40 now. Imagine a 39 year old in listing. Yeah, just like I always wanted to squeeze it right under the deadline. That happens to it does. Yeah. God damn. Yeah. That's sad.

Maybe I should do it. Yeah, I remember I remember selling a car to this guy that was like fucking 38 this dopey 38 year old guy that was like fucking E one. Yeah. And like his finances were shit and he was trying to get like a car. But it's like, I mean, I you don't know how long he's been in the military, but he's just like never once ever been promoted or increased in like pay grade and he's just been in the army forever or like he just recently enlisted at like, you know, 36, 37. And it's like, man, just stay a game stop. He just needed a change, dude. He wanted to get away from his ex-wife probably. No, she was there too. She was there too. Yeah, they bought a rap for sick. Yeah, sick. Yeah. Yeah, I felt real

bad for that guy. Because I had sold a car, or at least like I remember talking to someone prior, either that day or the day before that was like a sergeant or something. And he was fucking like, I don't know, 22 or whatever, and just real arrogant and happy about his like military career. And he came back and I guess probably probably had some signing bonus or something because he had like money to throw around. I remember just like seeing the comparison between those two guys. It's like one that's like the kinds of person the military wants. And he was rewarded for it. And he came back and just talking about like, you know, I was like, yeah, it's hot out today. And he was like, Iraq, 110 degrees, 100 pounds

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that do like pink pilling or whatever where they slip like hormones into like how Halloween candy into like not Halloween candy. There was somebody that was mixing them into Xanax and selling them to high schoolers like an insane to make them ladies. Yeah. Pink pilling is like a type of black pilling where they're like, just be trans. But those don't last. I mean, like you just let your nipples get sensitive for a couple of days or something. I guess I don't know how it works. Yeah. But that's crazy. That sounds like some like six o'clock news. Like, yeah, your kids are doing this bullshit. This would be a good thing to ask Matt McCusker about. He probably would know. Yeah. Pink pilled Urban Dictionary,

the act of turning seemingly straight males, effeminate transvestite e-girls or transgenders commonly used among edgy Twitter right leaning transgenders. Wait, what's what's a e-girls? E-girls are trans women. I thought they're just girls. They use the Internet. I don't know what anything means anymore. I don't fucking know either. I'm too old to know anything. Pink pilling is apparently when women get convinced feminism is about women. I don't know. I just heard the term once. And I didn't really look into it. Well, that sounds right. Yeah. They should do that with Halloween candy. Yeah. Make all the kids girls. Well, that was the thing when I was a kid was that you're always worried that there might be razor blades

in the candy. Wouldn't you know? Yeah, you would know. And it never happened once. Yeah. There was never a case of that happening. There was a story. How'd that come? How'd that go around? There was a story in Texas where some guy said like, Oh, somebody poisoned my kid with a Halloween candy. But he was doing it. He did. He killed his kids. Something the Joker might even. Yeah, that is twisted. I love how mad people are at this movie. I might go see it just because people are mad. I'm definitely seeing it, man. Let's go see it. Is it all right now? I tell you that I was in Toronto at the film festival and some guy, somebody sent me a picture at the film festival. There was a guy just in the full

costume, like looked exactly like Joaquin in line in the standby ticket line. He didn't have tickets to see it. He got dressed up to see just in, in the, on the event. He could score a ticket in the off chance. That rocks. That's something even the Joker might do. That is truly that rocks, dude. He's in the parking lot of scalping tickets. He's trying to get the jet. Jesus Christ. That's awesome. I hope he got in. You just have to take the train home. All sad because he didn't see his, his movie dress like that. Yeah. He has to do the makeup all again, all over again tomorrow. Try again. I'm going to dress up like the Joker and go to Petco and try and teach them a call at the end word. That's, yeah, I think

that that would be chaotic. Yeah. We were like, man, what are you doing? It's like just trying to introduce a little chaos. Like please just stop. We just go home. We, I don't want to turn this into a thing. Just please leave. Oh God. So how's Toronto? You liked it? No, man. Toronto sucks. It's boring. Yeah, it's a shitty town. Yeah. Do you remember that like window we saw that was like that coffee shop? And it was like, we're, we're Canadian as fuck and we don't give a fuck what you think. Canada's like, yeah. When was that other coffee shop we went to that's like warn women about shitty dudes and it's like the anti rape coalition, like all over the place. And it's like, can I just have a coffee? Yeah.

What are you accomplishing with that? It was insane. I mean, cause you go, you go to a lot of places like that here where it's like refugees welcome. Yeah. It's like one or two things is fine. But that entire coffee shop, like the cash register was like, my pussy, my choice. And it was like, I just, you know, I wanted a croissant. Welcome to rape coffee. Yeah. Jesus Christ, man. Well, I got in trouble for that tweet that I did about the coffee, one of the coffee shops in my neighborhood. Yeah, playground. Don't say it. Oh, beep that. They got really mad at me. They got mad. And I do go there every day. Fuck them. They're allowed to be there. You're allowed to criticize them. I wasn't crit. Well, I said that their

cold brew was $6, which is not. It's a, I think just under $5, just under $5. But I do tip. But when you, yeah, it does work out. You add the tip. You factor in the time it takes you to get to the coffee shop. That's at least six times you could be walking. You could be making money. You know, this is time. Excuse me, but I have, I make fuzzy dice. I'm at home knitting fuzzy dice and I need my precious $6 cold brew. Sir, it's $4 and 92 cents. Yes. But the time I remember they told me they were like, you said that our cold brew is $6 and we didn't. Yeah. Like it's, it isn't $6. And I just like, for some reason I tried to like reason with them. I'm like, yeah, I'm a comedian. I, I like make

jokes on the internet where I, you know, exaggerate things. And they were like, they were like, this is a family owned business. Like what are you doing? But they did take down. What are they? I think it's going to happen that they're going to, that family is going to get divorced. Because what does that mean? Oh, it's I'm here with child protective services. We heard that your cold brew is $6 and you have a refugees are welcome here. Yeah, we're going to have to take your son to foster care to be molested because comedian Adam Friedland told, tattled on, I tattled on Twitter for charging an unreasonable $6 for this cold brew. The joke was that the refugees couldn't even use the bathroom

there. Yeah, which is probably true, which is probably true. But they had to sign up anyway. Yeah. So they had the, they had to cling to the $6 fucking ice. So they're like, it's not $6. I was like, well, which is kind of an admission that they wouldn't let the fact that they didn't even try to fight you on that. Yeah. They're like, of course they can't use the fucking bathroom. Where's a refugee going to get six? I mean $4.92 for a fucking to use the bathroom here at their job that they stole from, you know, me from another family. Exactly. Yeah, they took our jobs. These damn Syrian refugees took our jobs. I used to walk around with a baby in my jacket. That was my job. I was going around

and I'd sell babies out of my jacket and this fucking David tell look at a piece of shit comes by and he stole my, especially on the post. He stole my goddamn baby guy. Everybody knew me. Oh, there goes Mitch. There goes baby selling Mitch. Right. I was a hero of all these barren women. I'd go up and down this town. I'd say, listen, I got this baby. I got this baby. It's usually $15. But for a pretty thing like you, you can have a phrase as long as you suck my dick. And I got my dick sucked every day. And now what now fucking Puma from from who gives a stand who gives a sheet who gives it a car, car, carot, carotchi that's Pakistan. Yeah. From Kumar Ratchey. Like the racist guy trying to come up with

fake names for a place in 20 minutes. But but he accidentally names all the like real places. Yeah. Yeah. No, but where the hell is this guy from fucking Bahadirabad? Fucking, you know, well, Bombay, well, you know, some made up place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that guy. I was the bait. I sold all them damn babies. Well, that's what they're coming here and doing. They're selling babies. I don't know. I just know that is that what he thinks the picture of the guy with the baby and it looks like he's selling a baby. It looks like he's trying to sell a baby. It does look like David. Tell it also looks a little bit like a Ahmadinejad a little bit. Yeah. What's he up to? I think he's on Twitter, but I'm

not sure it's really him. Yeah. And then people are like, this is an epic tweet from Ahmadinejad. Yeah. He was so cool. It was funny when he like, kind of did middle finger Israel every day. Yeah. Just constantly his response to that Danish, like the international response to the Danish bombing of the cartoonist. What do you say? He was like, he was like, you're absolutely right. Muslims are out of control and it's unreasonable to be this angry about a cartoon. Anyways, we're going to have the national cartoon Iran to come up with the funniest cartoon for your precious Holocaust. They had like a contest for kids to see who could make fun of the Holocaust the best. That rocks. Yeah. Honestly, that does rock.

He rules. He fucking absolutely rules in another life. He would be on serious. He would be on OP radio on serious. Oh yeah. He's just saying it like it is, dude. So be radio still exists. I don't know. Does it? I don't know. It's funny how the landscape has changed so much in my relatively brief time in New York of like media in general or comedy comedy. I mean, the fact that like you think about OP and Anthony, right? And what it would mean for a young comic to go on the opening. Oh, yeah. To walk into that studio and know that you're like, these are, this is like, these are killers. You know, to fucking sit there and like be on record with Patrice and have to hold your own. And now possible. And now

it's like Anthony Kumi is doing a show with like, you know, a guy that hands out race realism flyers outside of fucking McDonald's. Yeah. Like a porn star who uses the N word and doesn't apologize. Yeah. Yeah. Take enough of that dick. I could say the word. I can say the word. Yeah, it is pretty crazy. And then I guess they all hate OP like all their fans, but maybe they like him. I think he has a decent amount of his own fans. I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, here's what he certainly has is like just boatloads of money. Both those guys. All of them. Yeah. Yeah. Jim too. I know. Yeah. You guys went over to his crib. Yeah, it's insane. That's crazy. I mean, it's like excessive. It didn't like it's like,

you know, just one guy living there too. I know it's one little guy too. Yeah, he didn't need. He doesn't need all of that space in Manhattan. It's nice, but it's like that. Yeah. It's selfish. Yeah. I mean, it's literally a penthouse from from Jim and Sam show. Yeah. Just fucking like so long on the radio. I mean, it's like, I don't know what those guys got paid, but it's got to be at least like a million a year. You know, probably like and then he does stand up. Probably like three million a year or something like that. Holy shit. Dude, there used to be so much money in radio. I know like every like local market fucking shitty, like it's the dick and fuck show. You know, like, man, man, like all those

guys spent that would basically do this. You know, it's so funny and people are like, oh, you get like annoyed with how much money we make in comedy. And it's like, yeah, the radio guys who you despised, right, never did stand up, right? Got paid like so much more shit for doing. Yeah. Get like a half a million dollars to just be like, you're not going to believe this. Mother in Arkansas founder baby, uh, with his penis in a vacuum one, I guess what, John, that really sucks. That sucks. It sucks. Oh, the, the vacuum sucks. It sucks at that. Oh my God. Cause it's a vacuum cleaner. And I wonder if it's one of those ones that also blows like that president we got Obama. That's pretty good.

We both sucks. Honestly, put us on the radio. Yeah. Fuck this. I actually did. They have there's a radio show in like Louisiana or something like something that I think it's like it's on a shit ton of Southern markets. It might have be out of Houston. It's like the Walton and Johnson show or something. And it's just like, I was driving through the South one time and I was like, this is insane. I mean, they like, you know, they were doing care. I wish I could remember because at the time you, I was listening to it. I'm like, this is just like off, like off the deep end, like, you know, fucking like, like right wing boomer Facebook level. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and they actually like had me call

in because they thought one of those articles I did was real. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Wait, did you got a girl to call in? No, I called as Nicole. I had a girl talk to a British journalist that wanted to know that some British reporter that wanted to do a story about the breastfeeding thing. But that Walton show, they were like, you know, I just, I was like, yeah, this is the cold or whatever. And the producers like, all right. So, you know, no matter what, just like stick with the story, you know, when we're on the air and it's like, so you know, it's fake and you want me to help your shitty radio show. Right. Right. You know, are those articles still getting people? I don't know. But they had me on to

talk about breastfeeding my 12 year old and immediately brought up Sharia law. It was like that gives you an idea of what that show is. Right. Yeah. I guess it was on Alex Jones recently. Yeah. That's pretty cool, man. Well, I'll tell you what. If I'll tell you what Alex Jones can't do. What's that? Wear underwear. What do you mean he can't wear? Oh, he can't because he's too slippery. Oh, every underwear there is. He can't. He doesn't know how to trick you and slip. I'm going to need you with me on this. I got you. I got you. I got you. Yeah. So he got to him. Fuck. I can't. Mack Walden is a name of a thing in my email somewhere. Well, okay, so I'll just look. I'll let you guys in. We're about to talk about

Mack Walden underwear. Yeah. And we're going to talk. We're going to talk about Mack Walden underwear for about 15 seconds. Okay. Now here's what we do. We just stay silent for 15 seconds. They skip ahead directly to the read. Right. Okay. And we're done talking about Mack Walden underwear. I'm glad to talk about that. Are we actually? Are we? Because no, and I just remembered Mack Walden underwear is the best underwear that I've ever wear or weird, weird. Because at Mack Walden, I, they, I believe in smart design, simple designs and simple minds. Yeah. But it's simple. Just like, we're never going to get out of the hood. Why do you think

so? This dumb white bitch gonna come in here and tell us we got a future? I shit myself every day. She's like, yes, but have you heard about Mack Walden underwear? Because if you're wearing Mack Walden underwear, you can shit in it every single day and the antimicrobial. The shit disappears. The shit disappears, baby. It's diapers for the 21st century. Yeah. Space age diaper technology. Look, Mack Walden is an underwear company on a mission and the mission is simple. Right. Just like you to make sure all of your basics and beyond are smartly designed and

shopping for them is easy and convenient. Okay. They actually, this is that they do have a nice website. Yeah. Yeah. I will say great UX. They do have a good UX. So I'm so used to am anytime I have to go buy shit on another website because you're spoiled by Amazon. So easy. You could buy with one click while you go to another website and it's like, what the fuck is this? You got to zoom in to like the little dialogue boxes. So much extra bullshit going on. Really annoying. You know, not Mack Walden. Easy. I love. I just love clicking on stuff and they got a mobile website. So it's you could buy underwear on your cell phone. They got an award winning app award. They have an app for the underpants. Every

company has an award winning app now. They founded the Mack Walden because they wanted more out of their basics and always questioned how something so essential could be such a pain in the ass to buy. And that is true. You know, I got I bought my underwear at the store. I used to do the same myself. Yeah. When I went there is the Adidas store. And you know, I mean, I was I brought the underwear up to the counter and I was like, you know, is there a place I can try this on? And they were like, no, it's underwear. We don't have fitting rooms for underwear. And it was like just the other clothes. Yeah, they're like, we don't have fitting rooms for underwear. And I was like, I was like, really, you don't

have a fitting room for that? And they're like, no, I was like, all right. So I took all my clothes off in the middle of the aisle. And what else are you going to do? I pulled my penis out and everyone's laughing at me. And they came over and they're like, what are you doing? I'm like, you said you didn't have a fitting room for underwear. And they're like, yeah, you can't try on the underwear. I'm like, so not only do you not have a fitting room, I'm supposed to not expose my my penis and balls to try on the underwear. I'm not supposed to wipe my penis on the end. You're telling me I'm not supposed to wipe my penis dude. She sounds like she was being a bitch. She was being a bitch. And you know what? So

that bitch said you couldn't you couldn't put your bear your raw dick and balls. Yeah. And the guy came up to me in a top hat and he was like, sir, my name is Sir Marcus Weldon. I go by Mac for sure. Oh, it's a nickname. Marcus Sir Marcus Weldon. My my father's were Earl's that were cousins. And he's a knight. I am a Duke in English. Oh, you could be a sir. And my family is so inbred that two men are able to produce offspring. I don't know that. That's how inbred we are. And we are constantly wiping our penis on underwear. And we're going to create a new type of underwear called me called Mac Weldon. His nickname, his well, his real name. I thought he was Marcus. Well, Mark Mac is short for Marcus.

Is it? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was just like a general inbred people call call Mac Garvey. No, no, people call him that. I think so. Is that song return of the Mac about a guy named Marcus? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. No. Well, who, who, who, who, there's got to be at least one. I'm pretty sure Marcus is long for Mac. Anyways, the frustration was real. And our Eureka moment happened in a department store aisle full of brands that dominated our top drawer. I get frustrated. So this is this is actually this is on their website. They leave out the part where the Duke saw me wiping my penis on. But they're talking about the aisle. They're talking about that story surrounded by a mind numbing assortment

of underwear and socks. We realized consistent fit and quality became a game of roulette. So we decided to take matters into our own hands. Okay. And you ever like hold your your dick and balls like a cheeseburger? Oh, like with your balls on either side with both hands, you hold the whole set of a cheeseburger. Yeah. I mean, I'm kind of a one handed cheeseburger man myself. But yeah, I know what you're talking about. No, I mean, would you hold it side like this? Oh, like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not you don't hold it like a, well, it's kind of like a dick taco. Actually, there's no thing about yours. There's nothing you hold with two hands, maybe a golf club. Baseball. Baseball. Yeah.

There's nothing you hold with two hands. What are you talking about? There's nothing I can think of that you hold with two hands other than like a baseball bat or a golf club. I guess you might be right. What about a steering wheel? Yeah, but that's not that's gay. It's an arch. It's gay. It's gay to drive with two hands. Yeah. Actually, I don't drive with two hands. What do you mean? I always I'm always doing some other shit with this thing. Yeah, me too. Fingering. I'm on my phone fingering. I'm always, um, yeah, smoking six. I love doing the like, whoa, you know, oh, yeah, reaching in the backseat, the finger. Oh, you finger someone in the backseat. Yeah. I was assuming it was the front pass. I always have

my car bitched up. You know, I got bitches in every seat. You know, you know, I like to go MDWD when I tell you something when you're riding my car, you're always riding bitch because my fingers are fine. They're way to those pussies. Mack Weldon started from scratch and engineered their own fabric. Mm hmm. That seems excessive. Their own fabric. It does. Yeah. I mean, you got scientists to do that. Yeah. They could have been doing more creative things. Make sure the design process was meticulous so you can fit on the count on the fit being the exact same each time, no matter how fucking fat you get. We built a world-class customer service experience. The difference is in the

details. So we obsessed over every stitch and seam until we reached our definition of perfect and by stitch and seam, they mean obviously the stitches on the underwear and the seam on your penis and balls. Mm hmm. Cause stitch and seam, those sound like those could be synonymous slurs. Oh yeah. That's what Shane said. Yeah. Yeah. So look at all these stitches. That's what they call trans people. Stitches. Yeah. Go in a bathroom. It's full with a bunch of stitches and seams in there. Yeah. They built this fucked up bathroom downtown. A stitch is a male to female. A female to male is a seam. Is a seam. Yeah. Yeah. Stitches and seams. The stitches and seams comedy show coming to Netflix. I love

how everybody's like, Oh, great. Now he's going to get a Netflix special called triggered. And it's like, you're already, you're already upset about like something that has not happened. It's not happening. It won't happen. Also, like every single one of his shows is going to get protested and like he's going to get shit. No matter what opportunities, his life is over here. His life is an over. He's going to have to kill himself. He should. I mean, like he probably should kill him. What I do like to find two shit on Shane. I like that is like apology in both of his statements are like just totally just fucking like football coach bullshit. Yeah. Just like, I did the best I could. I gave it 100%. I came with

100%. We got a lot of good guys. We went out there. Yeah. It's like talking about it like we got a great group of guys. There was a, there was a great hustle. There was good effort and I understand this is fucking year zero of a 35 year refill. But we have the desire and determination and persisted to persist inosity to overcome and achieve. Yeah. Do you think I'm so funny? At the end of the day, just putting, putting things like at the end of the day in an apology. Yeah. Good enough for what are you saying? Yeah. Good enough for us to know 100%. Yeah. At the end of the day, you can't take that away because hustle is something, you know, and it's all, all of that is solely caused by people quoting

Vince Lombardi. They should have never done that. He should have just been a guy that was good at football or like good at coaching and then nobody should have ever listened to him. I don't know. I think it comes from that culture in general, but it probably stems from Vince Lombardi. I think it's like the ex that fucking the dog in the fight bullshit. Yeah. Which doesn't make any sense. Yeah. It's what are you talking about a dog fight? You take the dog out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of the dog. And it's like, hold on. It's like, they do that all the time. Yeah. The whole premise of fucking Brett rescue pit bulls is that you can specifically take the fight out of the dog. Yeah. So also,

what are you doing going to dog fights? You're at the Super Bowl. That's kind of you needed more like that wasn't enough for you to be at that. You had to create the Super Bowl and you're like, yeah, but what if we got like a, we've got like a warehouse somewhere and we made dogs kill each other. That's kind of a thing. It's like you can take the dog out of the fight, but not the fight out of the dog. That's kind of like saying, oh yeah, like a criminal mind will never be able to be rehabilitated. Yeah. That's kind of could be like a racist thing to say, like, oh, they should all be locked away. Yeah. Anyways, Mack Weldon actually, the part of their process is putting the underwear on dogs and then having

them fight. They don't test on any animals besides besides pit bulls and the dogs that they do test on have committed murder. They have committed murders. Mack Weldon is better than whatever you're wearing right now. You got underwear, take it off, fucking eat it. Eat your shorts. Oh, literally, literally. Mack Weldon is a premium men's essentials brand that believes in smart design and premium fabrics. Required. The host producer cannot use the word. Oh, okay. What word? It's the, the one we said before, the one Shane used. Yeah. Is it Mack Weldon got him fired at SNL Mack? Well, I didn't, I didn't know that. I thought they were just making underwear to wipe your penis on. Listen, it's the best

damn underwear I've ever used. But now it's pretty messed up. That Mack Weldon was on board with that. Yeah, I'm kind of just, I'm not on Shane's side anymore. Oh no, you're pro Mack Weldon. I kind of meant Mack Weldon believes in smart design, premium fabric. You know, it's so funny because they do have a thing that like a word you can't say and I'm not going to say it, but it's just so like fucking banal. It's part of their like branding strategy that completely goes out the window as soon as you're like looking at any other aspect of this ad. They're like, but don't say this. Yeah. Anyways, Mack Weldon believes in smart design, premium fabric, but this is all, I got like a new email with

new copy in it, but it seems like it's more of the same. I'm always terrified that I'm going to fucking do specifically that. Say the last whatever they done, but they haven't changed, you know, the quality of their products. Yeah. Actually, they're, I think they're nicer dude because we have gotten nicer. We got some more, some more underpants and more underpants. Yeah. Yeah. I like them. I love them too. But and it's also like the truth be told, I don't wear underwear in the summer. Oh, just because it's like uncomfortable and I sweat a lot. But now there's winter. Yeah, I'm excited. Keep your shit hot. Yeah. It's just my shit's fucking like, it's just gets stuck to my leg and it's fucking uncomfortable. Yeah. Having

balls is terribly uncomfortable. Yeah. Why talk my balls into my ass? I mean, I've tried to, but I forget all the time. And then you can't like, if you try to booyah yourself, you're like, Oh, I forgot to booyah myself before I left the house. I'm sorry, everybody. I forgot to booyah myself before I left. You can't be on the trade. Just stuff with your balls and your ass. If everybody I'd like to make an announcement if you're concerned about the smell, I just like to say booyah myself before leaving the apartment. My name is Mortimer Shekel. I work at 325 Broadway. If you have any complaints, go in, go to the front desk, talk to Sharon, let her know that Mortimer did not booyah himself. And then

his penis and balls smelled bad on the train. Thank you. Uh, Mack Weldon's, uh, line of, uh, silver underwear and shirts are naturally antimicrobial, which means they eliminate odor and they want you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair, you can keep it and they will steal or still refund you. No questions asked. Now is Mack wall underwear socks, shirts and shirts and socks look good. They perform well too. It's good for working out, going to work, going out dates, going to work, going on every day life. That's all I do, baby. Fucking I don't do shit. How long is my apartment look like this? It's been pretty messy for a while. Yeah. Yeah. My life is just in shambles.

Yeah. My mind too, dude, we'll get stopped back. You know, it's all of skin. It'll be great. It's fine. I'm going to be back on the next episode because I got mad at us. I got that luck of the Irish or whatever. So I have all these things that I don't deserve. Is that a sarcastic thing? No, Irish people aren't lucky. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I genuinely feel like I've been like extraordinarily lucky in my life. But I don't think it's an Irish thing. The problems I have are all like internally sourced. It's like, and that's not really luck. It's just a bad outlook. Anyways, I guess I got to say that I bought the green underwear. I don't know. I don't know the name of the underwear. I bought the

green one. It's nice. It was very easy to buy. It was so easy to buy that I picked out the underwear that I wanted. I got green colored or green like a carbon footprint. The green colored one, but they look nice. My dick looks nice in them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your dick will look bigger in them. They do. The bulge area is well designed. It's nice. I will say it's nice. Yeah. I do have other like compression style underwear. It's like too much pressure. Right. And it's terrible. Yeah. Just like it jams your shit up. That is my whole show. Sometimes it pulls it too far forward. And then it's like, then your dick looks too big. And it's like, I don't want that either. I do want that. No. Yeah.

You look like a clown. I mean, if you're walking around with like, like the wrong type of underwear that pulls your dick forward and you just have like a big boy, it looks stupid. Dude, someone reached someone reached me to this video. This guy on my anyways, what kind of show you after this? Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyways, I wore them around. And I wore, I like the underwear is fucking good. I don't know what the fucking tell you. Now I'm getting mad at this copy. Anyways, so for 20% off your first order, visit Mack Weldon.com and enter promo code come town 20 a checkout. And yeah, 20% off Mack Weldon.com. If you don't like the underwear, they'll refund you no questions and you keep the underwear and you keep the

underwear. Right. Check them out. I mean, with that, it's like, you know, what do you have to lose? Literally nothing. Literally fucking nothing at all. And we're back. And we're back. Yeah. So Shane's actually like, you just started to call me. What's up? Shane just started to call me. Does he want to call into the show? I don't know. I mean, we don't have too much left here. Should I get into Hot Wheels? I'm thinking about getting like a pacify like a teething ring. Baby should. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking about getting into like, just sucking on a teething ring all day long, maybe like a little play cash register that I bang on. Yeah. Like a like a car with a feet like Fred Flintstone. So

yeah, yeah, go around my apartment and be like, these SJWs are trying to ruin my fucking life fucking cancel culture and cancel this. Yeah, I mean, I think we should go to one of those adult daycare places in Brooklyn. It'd be funny. It's like a first generation like Chinese person trying to tell their immigrant parents about Shane and cancel culture or whatever. And they're like, you know, they're like, yo, mom and dad. It's like this fuck this cracker Shane be, you know, like, Michael Rappaport. What are you saying? That's her son's name is they wanted him to have an American name. Yeah, he both is Michael Rappaport and sounds like him. But they're a big cop. Yeah, they're like, yo, this cracker Shane be talking

mad shit online about about us, you know, and now they're trying to say that it's cancel culture. And they're like, oh, but console is real bad. They're like, no, mom, it's cancel culture. Like, yeah, yeah, your brother had cancer. The one you know, we had before we came here and we couldn't get health insurance for him. And the joke there is I get it. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. My first girlfriend used to do this impression of she took some like English class, like some Chinese just like Chinese, like, but like Chinese Barbie, basically, you know, like a very like glitzy Chinese girl and they had to write like a like a like a persuasive essay and read it in class. And she used to she was the first person I knew

they could do like a just fucking rock solid Asian impression. Yeah. And she's to crack me up because she was like, yeah, she's this girl in this class gets up and she's like, shopping is my essay is on why shopping is good. Shopping is beneficial because you get exercise from carrying the bags and fuck man, that's what you used to crack. Was that in like a what context was it was like in the English class? Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, shopping is beneficial because you get exercise from carrying the bags. Yeah. Yeah. And she was telling me about they had to write another because they were always like writing essays and having to read them. And there was another one they did. And she was talking about the

about like the effects of war on people or whatever. And she's like, a lot of people don't consider the psychological effects of war as a physical effects of war, such as like, bless cancer and brain cancer. Oh, my God. And before you get mad, and say that that's anti Asian, remember, that was my first girlfriend. Not me doing the voice. Okay, reporting. If the voice okay, the voice is bad. Okay, the voice isn't fucking we just admit that it sounds funny. The voice is funny. It's not bad. It doesn't it's not like a sign of like disrespect. It's like the same as literally doing any other fucking Russian accent or a French accent. There is no difference if like anyone that tells you that it's there's

a difference is lying. It's like any argument that I've seen has been bullshit. That's like, oh, you're mocking the struggle that Asian know I'm laughing at a silly voice. That's it. I'm not fucking like it's not like fuck these people trying to learn English, at least with me personally. Shane might feel that way. I don't. I just like it's just genuinely I think it's like, like it's a funny voice. Also, I was making myself laugh the other day imagining like fucking Chinese Tony soprano. That would be good. It would be good. Just going to Dr. Melvin just going to Dr. Melvin being like, I feel bad. And then Melvin's like, don't feel bad. Oh, she's Chinese. Oh, okay, bye. And that's it. Yeah, the whole

show. Yeah, woke up this morning. He's just crashing his car all over the New Jersey dirt bike, smashing into the guardrails and he's like, oh, fuck. Yeah. No, that won't stop being funny to me. I'm sorry. I can't you're not going to convince me that's not funny. You can't do it. And I don't like, you know, I don't know. I'd rather live my life and laugh at things because it brings me fucking it makes me feel better because life is garbage. Yeah, it feels nice to laugh at something funny. Yeah, it's like, and they laugh at our shit, too. Right. They think we're ridiculous. I'm not fucking Mark Wahlberg. I'm not going out and like ripping people's

eyes out with fucking meat. Oh, it's not a you. I mean, in a lot of ways, you, you truly respect the Chinese. You lived with them. Sure. But I don't know. Yeah. Disappointing time to be in comedy, I guess, unless you're somebody that does, you know, well, it's like sort of like what we were saying before the lip sync stuff. I'm sure that's great. I'm sure it's a great time to be in comedy. If what you do is just a reenact to tick tock videos. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were talking about the other guy that got us. Oh, I completely forgot that that's what he does. Yeah. He does lip sync videos. Yeah. Which you know what? And that's the other, those are pretty, some of them are pretty good too.

He's like, then there are people that were like, you know, not a lot of them luckily, but there was people that are like going after that guy and it's like, you know, yeah, it's like, you know, he didn't, he's not trying to fire Shane. Right. Yeah. And also he was her. He really worked in SNL. He was like a writer there. Yeah. Just, just added him to the cover. The initial coverage was so funny. The coverage. Like it was like, it was like they plucked him out of nowhere. Right. But like this means that we can all, this is the most powerful moment. The, the, the falling of the Berlin wall, uh, fucking Neil Armstrong on the moon and Bowen Yang pretending to be Kim Jong-un on a show, fucking people with

like, you know, Alzheimer's watch anymore. Did Fred Armisen play at Obama like four years ago? Yeah. And somebody's been linking all old SNL shit that I've never seen because I was never really even a huge SNL had. Yeah. And there's this, there's a sketch with Dana Carvey that's just like the entire thing is like, he's Chinese. I mean, it's like, it's literally, there's nothing else there. Sorry. I keep getting my shit blown up. My shit, my shit blown up. Um, yeah. I mean, it's, it's obviously ridiculous. The problem is, as it's like, what we were saying before, it's like, if you just divide the community into like the good and the bad and like the good, the good boys are the ones that are

getting TV shows and stuff. And that, that shit sucks. Where do like kids that think it's gay, like go, like go to, you know, and they'll just start like watching Jordan Peterson videos and stuff. Like if there's no like alternative to, you know, whatever, whatever garbage they're putting out nowadays. I'm, I'm doctor. I'm Dr. Jordan Peterson. I was trying to do him the other day and I got him for like a half second. I'm Dr. Jordan with the frog. I'm not, I'll tell you what, if you want to get your dick sucked, you better bring it around me buckle. I'll give you a goddamn dick suck. If you want to come in my classroom, you better unbuckle my goddamn pants and fuck me in my ass. Yeah. Um, I

don't know. Yeah. I mean, if you like, you D platform people to the point where it's like, no, I want some fucking MSG. I was disappointed. I was gonna go out to fleshing. Well, I got my car here. I mean, I came in LaGuardia and fucking Abby came and picked me up and I was like, let's get great. Let's get good Chinese food in fleshing. So I looked up anything that was close and it like one of the, like there was an article and one of them was like grand Szechuan house. So I typed in grand Szechuan house or something like that. And then we went to one and I didn't realize after there's like a million of those. So then I ended up at just some, just regular fuck some chain. Yeah. I mean, it was like

a run of the mill. It was fine, but it's like, I want like just some like good like shit. You know, dude, let's go after that, after the Paul Simon Paul. That was good. Yeah. It was really good. Yeah. We got with Max. Yeah. I had, I had really good. Actually, I didn't, I don't know where the fuck I went, but it was like on par with like, I don't know what I want is, and I don't want to like, I want Korean barbecue, but I don't like, I have to limit myself to like once a month. If I ruin Korean barbecue for myself, I'll kill myself. What do you mean? Like have it too often. Then I get burned out on it. Yeah. I see what you're saying. I've done that with every other cuisine. There's a, there's a

like a strip of Chinese places in Forest Hills that I really want to go to. I haven't been to yet in the mall. It's like close to that mall. Yeah. The mall, there's a mall and flushing that has like all those Chinese places. Yeah. I could do that. I just started. I'm one. There's this other place in Elmhurst. I went to recently a Chinese place that was insanely good. Yeah. I'm like minding my diet again. So I can't really fucking with Chinese food. They had this. I had this dish called oil spilled noodles. The other day that was just one of the fucking most delicious things I've ever had some Louisiana Creole style fucking Chinese food. Some. Yeah. But I was telling somebody like when I was a kid, I used to go to Popeyes and I didn't

know what New Orleans was. So I thought that was just like Popeyes brand was just that shit like that word. Well, no, just that music and like all that like, yeah, come on, Popeye. You know, like I just thought that was just like Popeye. And then I found out about Louisiana or New Orleans and it was like, Oh, it's just like a Popeyes city. You thought that. Yeah, it would happen the other way for me. Oh, God, at least in terms of my exposure to like New Orleans and Mardi Gras. I got no idea what fucking Mardi Gras was. I knew about it from Girls Gone Wild. And Popeyes Biscuits. You want to go to Popeyes right now? I would love to. But I'm so hungry. There's no good Popeye. There's no good fucking fast food

restaurants in like, at least near Brooklyn or Manhattan, Manhattan. No, Queens has good fast food because Queens is like legitimately like middle class. I had a I had a Boston marketing Queens once that was yeah, incredible. Yeah. And they have Boston Market there. Yeah. I feel like you don't really have as many chains. Welcome to Boston Market. We don't do any of that fucking faggot cancel. Yeah, just stuff you want a chicken pot pie open open society open free. Let me see your fucking Twitter. I bet we're going to search through it. And if there's not a slur in there, you're not getting a fucking chicken pot pie. How about that? When's the last time you went to one of those Boston market? Yeah. I used

to go maybe once a month when I was a kid. That chicken pop as a family that chicken pop pie I never I've never you know what I'll tell you what I've never actually been in a Boston market. Yeah, we used to get it and then eat it at home. Yeah. Yeah. My mom would get Boston and then and then Kenny Rogers came to town. Yeah. And then it was the great chicken wars of the 1990s. I'll tell you I love that fucking Kenny Rogers guy. Uh huh. You know, because I used to I thought he was a faggot, but it turns out he's he's from Quincy. Oh, really? Yeah. No, he's from Dorchester. Oh, okay. Yeah. I didn't know he was from the Boston area. Yeah. No, you because you think you hear his name Rogers. You're like,

where's this guy from fucking California? Where's this guy? He's got like a whole cow. He's got a long hair like a fucking girl. Uh huh. You know, he's playing music. Uh huh. Yeah, this guy's probably a girl. Uh huh. This guy's probably a woman, a female. What about Boston natives? Aerosmith? Those guys have long hair. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I always saw it. Aerosmith. I thought that guy was a faggot. Then I found out he's, you know, he's from Boston. He's from Charlestown. Oh, he's from the town. Yeah. He's from Roxbury. Like the movie. I found out Aerosmith is from Roxbury. It turns out it's actually like four different guys. It's you thought it was one guy. I thought it was one guy named Aerosmith.

You think he was like a multi-instrumentalist kind of like plays the drums with his feet. I was like, who's this Aerosmith guy? He sounds like a faggot. Yeah. But then, you know, my buddy Tommy, he was like, it's four guys. Yeah. My buddy Tommy was like, yeah, no, it's that's actually like it's a whole band. Yeah. And his first name isn't Aero and last name Smith. No, it's not a lot of people. That's easy to make. He's like, no, it's a band. They wrote that song about Kenny Rogers. Dude looks like a lady. Oh yeah. I didn't know that was right. I remember hearing that song and I'm like, you're right. That guy is a faggot. That's what that song is about. But they tell you in the song, you know, songs, they got

like hidden stuff. The hidden meaning is like, he just looks like a lady, but actually he's from Quincy. Oh, okay. I didn't realize that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, I'm going to kill myself this week. Yeah, me too. Yeah. All right, we done. Let's get some dinner, dude. Yeah. Yeah, we don't. Oh, damn. How much we do? Okay. Our 18. Well, they're going to have to sift through that one. All right. Bye. Bye.