The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep 175 – epardy

Episode Date: October 3, 2019

i aint answerin no questions

First of all the questions they do them in a reverse order which is like what the for how you supposed to know the first question He goes, you know, he says let me get off famous paintings for $200. I'm okay. What paint? Well, I don't know the fucking paintings and he says this side her famous smile This guy says her famous smile is known all over the world in this classic Paint by Leonor not clicking you ask me in the regular way. First of all, there's only one answer to that and this faggot Yeah, yeah, you know, you your friend your boyfriend Leonardo paints for you. Yeah, first of all There's only one answer to that And I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, but I may have already done. Yeah. Oh, yeah, fuck

Yeah, the fucking council said we're not supposed to say slurs no more. Yeah, my I'm by my the rules of my probation Fuck yo, I got caught stealing car And I can't call people gay no more they said no more slurred they charging me with a hate crime First for calling everybody a faggot at the Napa while stealing batteries out the back And how did I know they was all gay I was just calling them that cuz they called the fucking police on me Yeah, come to find out them. Then we're all fucking gay. It's a gay Napa They did a they did a now this a little sistine second video about it I keep being called out by that now this company every two weeks. They got me on there

They're calling you fucking video about my god video me saying some shit Like we ain't all been mad before Yeah, you put a fuck it you put the deed to your grandfather's house on the Ravens beating the Browns You're gonna say the n-word a couple times when it doesn't come in you're gonna get into a fight with a child and Yeah, that motherfucker was looking at me yo That little and I don't care what people say Chinese people can read people's moms They can read they should go on that eppity show. They should go on eppity. Yeah, I was watching eppity the other day I

Love eppity. Yeah, this famous orange bridge. No, it's like boop-boop-boop the Garfield Bridge. Yeah No, it turns out I'm gonna find out ain't even no Garfield bridge in the world bridge It's the Golden Gate Bridge, which the first of all bitch. Then why is it called go golden? Yeah? It should be which golden bridge the aren't no gate. There's no gate ain't no fucking gate there Your options are gate or bridge you chose bridge should be called an orange orange bridge Yeah, the orange bridge in the homo town the gate and shit fuck Delete this. Yeah, delete this live blog Yeah, everyone was telling us we need to get into twitch streaming

So but no don't nobody snitch on us though. Yeah, we got a show on NPR coming up called our talk It's like car talk, but we're hard-ars. So, yeah, we got a letter here my mom 1993 Honda Civic is having trouble starting in the winter Okay, and I I've used so what I've used cold start It's called a cold start stuff before and that works But for whatever reason now that's not working anymore and sometimes it stalls the traffic like okay that could be first of all You fuck off. I don't know who the fuck you think hold on Yeah, you're getting mechanic stuff for free for me. Well, I've never touched a car in my life

You know what race she is because it's our talk Everybody's what you assume everybody's bleak everybody You know for here's the answer to every question go to that fucking gay Napa and steal whatever the fuck you need Why don't you head to the I'm not gonna say it but the faggot Napa? No, yeah, we're back to get arrested This is what I meant. This is just Vinny's life Outside of doing this hanging out with those guys

What's up everybody welcome the motherfucking come town for the week. Yeah, I'm Italian So, you know that I you know I got arrested for slurs when I was seven years old Mm-hmm. We used to have to go around the neighborhood and call everyone in the neighborhood a slur. Yeah What does Vinny sound like? I don't know exactly. I mean, I can't remember his voice. He's from Connecticut, right? Yeah But he's dumb. That's why that's why it's kind of weird. Yeah. Oh wait I didn't never I didn't realize Nelson gets pussy from Lisa. Nelson gets pussy from Lisa. That's the name of the episode Season this is the latest season Really? Mm-hmm. No, it's not that's why they're showing sex and stuff. No, no

I remember that actually I do remember this episode people that still watch the Simpsons are 47 years old They're like, yeah, I still watch this and SNL. That's right And oh, that's right. She finds out that he's from a broken home and shit And she like empathizes with him. No, she likes him because he's rude. Oh, yeah She doesn't care that the broken-home thing turns her off. Whoa, really? Yeah, so Lisa's a bitch. She's a bitch Is this is this the episode of television you watch every day? Oh me? Yeah, why because someone loved they love a guy because he's rude No, I Just have it on loop

I'm not making a decision to be rude. I Just don't know the rules You know, it's I know you wouldn't call Chinese people rude because they let you would shit and piss yes You do and you would do it often. No, that's their culture. I will I'll call them rude for that. Yeah, I'll take a stand I don't know if some Chinese guy wants to pull turds out of his son's ass for chopsticks in the middle coals You had the third chopsticks in there, didn't you? I had to Shit well, we're here another freaking week. No, Adam. He's a

Russian I'm taking one of his cool vacations. That's right to Vegas to eat matzah to bris Vegas That's still the dumbest thing I've ever heard Shout out bris Vegas bris been Australia. We call it bris Vegas Well, we're not caught. We're not you guys can continue calling Yeah, it doesn't there's no pun there is you just shoved the first half of your it doesn't make any sense Bris Vegas those I those always made me laugh is like right around when the our women funny debate started happening They came up with that word man explaining Which is like that sounds nothing like explaining. No, it doesn't work on any level

Explain those heart. You should have hired a comedy writer to come up. What would you have gone with? sex explaining Mmm, but that's still involves that sounds like it's about but it makes more sense in terms of what about mex explaining Oh, like when a Mexican is Explaining something he's like, well, there's corn and then there's flour In the corn ones are better for breakfast But the flour ones are when he could be I guess he could be explaining anything, you know, but I guess yeah Mm-hmm, probably tortillas. I like to go up to Rebecca Trister and I tell her like listen

You're probably too much of a dumb woman to know that the corn ones The corn ones are for breakfast and she's just reading a book on the train The flour ones are for dinner Fuck yeah, yeah Fuck indeed. I was just in freaking Kentucky. Yeah, Louisville Louisville Louisville They love saying it dumb there Louisville. I love when you meet somebody from Louisville. They're like, well, we actually say it's I don't care No one cares the town's up shut up shut up go back there go the fuck you know We have a way of saying it that no one cares

No one gives no one cares is there anything that your town does besides baseball bats. Mm-hmm nothing That is cool though to have the Louisville slugger. Yeah to be the place that you make little baseball bats. Mm-hmm. I Would like to be that town. Yeah to be a baseball bat. Mm-hmm What was I doing? Somebody I got sent an email. I gotta read. What's that? I got sent an email that I gotta read. Oh, okay What kind of email? That's like a legally. I got to apologize. Oh legally. Yeah, okay Yeah, well shots out to everyone who came out the Indianapolis Fort Wayne and Louisville now that they got Indians there Yes, because in Greek Indianapolis means Indian City

that is Which yeah, it just means Indiana City means Indian City Indian means Indian Annapolis, so it's Yes, it's a bunch of Indians with just boat shoes on yeah walking around salmon shorts. Yeah Yeah, I didn't know they had an Indian Annapolis. Mm-hmm. He's like let's get some fucking crab cakes Who wants to go to the reserve officer club and get some fucking crab cakes? Oh Yeah, man, I can't wait to go to the old-timey post office and get a quill pen I'm trying to sell my boat. Yeah, I'm from Indian Savannah Park

I'm from Indian Glen Burnie. I am we struck a rich vein here, brother Wow, dude, this podcast just bought itself two extra years of life This is from Indian Annapolis from from saying Maryland stereotypes in an Indian voice. Oh hell Yeah, they got this show a party on TV This fuck knows the answer to that say that oh, right because because we are being they will send me to jail Yeah, they're gonna send me to jail for doing it. Yeah, that place was tight though. I did have a I had a great time Shout out. Let's comedy shout out. I met the guy who made the fart compilation YouTube video a bit a huge pioneer Thank you for that my friend. Whoever came up with whoopie cushions. Dude. Oh fucking a

Oh a good guy like a Fucked up prankster. Yeah. Well, it's funny. It's cuz it's like, you know, this show makes too much money Yes, it's like wow, this is weird and it kind of puts you in like a weird like, you know, it makes you feel weird Mm-hmm, but then I think about stuff like that. It's like that guy probably has so much money It's like it's not even he didn't do anything. Yeah, there was already had one dumbass idea for a second I know but it's like balloons already existed. That's true He's like, what if there was just but it all it did was you you put it on his and because they don't work either Yeah, they stopped working about for they never work

You have to sit directly on it if you put it under a cushion it won't work Remember trying to prank people with a whoopie cushion when I was a kid you do you put it under the chair and you were you wait? Yeah, and then they just sit on the chair and nothing happens And you're like, well, this is fucking fucking socks. This is stupid And then you make them just sit on it when that it would just never work. I tried hiding that fucking thing everywhere under the carpet Hmm, you know be like, hey mom come in here. She's like, no, you're like, can you please please? I never ask anything, please. Can you please come in here? I'm like, can you stand on that lump? Please you're gonna you're gonna be such a fucking dumb bitch. Yeah, you're gonna accidentally for her does nothing

Like you farted you you Fuck you, mom. Fuck you. You don't get farted. You dumb nice job farting bitch What did you fucking fart you idiot you're so stupid Shit, you're stupid go back to supporting my life. I'm glad you got a divorce I'm glad you're good. Go back to drinking in the kitchen I'm glad you're how you're experiencing a divorce right now Fucking farting ass bitch Yeah, that's how you wanted it to work

I just didn't work like that. That's how you wanted it to go down. Of course. All you wanted was for that to happen for you to say those things uninterrupted For about seven minutes. Just tee off on your recently divorced mother. Just fuck her ass up for farting And she's like, I guess I probably did fart gaslighter Yeah, gaslight your mom with the whoopie Oh, yeah Make her rethink some things that is the problem with whoopie cushions, man

Uh-huh that whole thing we just said. Yeah, she's like, I don't think I farted you like well Maybe it came from your pussy your divorced pussy How do you even use your six years old? How do you know these things? How do you even know the fuck shut up? Shut up or I'm gonna tell the fucking the arbitrator that you beat me You farted out of your pussy or I'm gonna tell them gonna hit me. I'm gonna sign an affidavit I'm gonna find a file in America's brief a friend of the court that says that you beat me I've got it in my prankster kid

Already signed and notarized Affidavit make your parents divorce worse With them with the sneaky devil prankster The whoopee cushion and a signed affidavit Declaring that in whether you put your mom or your dad's name in here so that it says they beat By the special Molestation add-on but it just comes with a but a hand buzzer just like Harriet the spy And use these doctored photos of your dad getting a blowjob from the babysitter

Just cut and paste your dad's face Let's get a picture of your dad with the included Polaroid camera and pastes Use the double-sided tape that pastes dad's face and then use these Pre-stamped envelopes to mail them to your mom What does with the note that says just felt like you should know just wanted to trick do pranks to your parents Kids only kids only kids parents if you're in the room walk out right parents are not allowed to watch this commercial Yeah, dude, that's a good product a little prankster that little devil prankster kid It's a suction cup to put hickies on your mom's neck. Oh, she's asleep

Before your dad gets home And this is just a little cocaine to put in her coffee. So she fails her drug test. So puts it gets fired from her secretary job And then she won't be able to support you you'll get to live in an orphanage you get a bunch of cool kids boys Playing Genesis all day long doesn't that sound great? Doesn't that sound cool? There's Sega Saturn at the orphanage It's just a product of the guy who owns the orphanage the molest children created They just have it overrun with young mischievous boys

You can the cool made by Hame Saban the coolest prank now introducing the fake The fake mammogram results Collection You can sneak into your mom's at the doctor They can do your make her think she has breast cancer and then a note from your dad that says that's why he left This is because he doesn't he already knew the idea of your mom's breasts being sick discuss him All of that and more the deluxe little pranksters did not

Prank you helping kids be the baddest boys the kids only The parents no not allowed no one what parents don't watch What's a vault there's a vault with a combination lock on the outside? Only kids know it says kids rule Riddle and you have to be on rhythm to use this Tell your mom you're gonna keep setting fires in this school trash can until you get This kid in a sweet prescription to riddle Did you need riddling every day?

Every day you need riddling medicine and the prankster kid Fuck did you ever they ever put you on that shit my man? No really? Yeah, my mom's like an anti-vaxxer dude Nice wasn't on shit, but they wanted to huh? Oh, yeah Yeah, they're like he is severely retarded wanted to zonk your mom's my mom's like I have breast cancer and my pussy Won't stop farting. I don't need this right now. I know I can't listen to this every week I get a new picture of my ex-husband getting a blow job Good job protective services keeps observing me for mailing. Yeah mailing them to me and there's just signed affidavit David Just don't put them on any drugs. Okay, no more riddling

Yeah, they tried to put my little brother on that shit He was a rowdy boy. Yeah, but my parents just because they were villagers didn't trust that shit Yeah, no, I mean, it's like they don't even prescribe riddling anymore. Yeah, it's definitely fucked up There's I you know you're even here about riddling well They got at all they put them on Adderall, but yeah, you never hear about that shit definitely fucks kids up man If you're on that sure, yeah, I take that shit every once in a while just to fucking focus And I feel like I'm fucked up for like two days afterwards Yeah, it's not good for you. You can't sleep that day. Like I don't how the fuck do those kids sleep if they take it every goddamn day

I Don't think they do. Yeah. Yeah, they're just up jittering. It's fine My cousin was just on candy grown up on what he's eat so much candy. Oh, yeah That kid it's amazing. He doesn't have diabetes now damn He's always like hyperactive and shit because he was just constantly like a fucking jawbreaker. Hell, yeah There was like in like a bag from the grocery store. Mm-hmm. So he was just like my memory of him as a kid is just drooling all Over his shirt and it's fucking like jawbreaker and a bag turned inside out like Yeah, and he just not even a ziplock like a plastic like yeah, like you picked up turds off the sidewalk bag and you just

Let's play Nintendo Fucking weird. Yeah Why I don't know man, but he was just so hyper was he fat? No, no rail thin damn Yeah, I mean he's kind of fat now, but I mean he's sturdy. Yeah. Yeah That's the ideal, you know grow up skinny become fat Oh, yeah, cuz it's like you are you are fine. You got the best years in yep, you know It's like, you know people like oh well those you know those people they're naturally thin when they're younger They get fat when they're older like oh, you mean

Yeah, yeah, that's sex. Yeah, so I'll be in shape while my like eyes are throbbing constantly and it's harder to think But hey, at least I'm in good shape now. Yeah, instead of when my personality was being formed. Mm-hmm, you know Yeah, would have made me a normal sort of likable person. Yeah, right who didn't hold a grudge against the entire world Waiter treated me shit only escape is making jokes about your mom having breast cancer But pranking your mom into thinking you have she has breast cancer To stop me from actually doing it can I borrow a feeling Damn you say Luan poor millhouse is dead. Will you fuck my ass?

Will you fuck my ass Luan? Can you fuck my ass? That's right. Yeah That is correct the Simpsons part two Mealhouse's dad gets pegged by his mom. We're redoing every episode and making it even funnier Look, we all love the simpsons. We're going back to the classic We're taking another crack at some of these screen. Yeah, we're doing we're just we're just punching up the old Scripts those old flawed Simpsons look they had a bunch of Harvard hoity-toity fucking assholes

Why don't we get we're taking it? We're taking it blue collars. Look how real Blue collar guys makes three takes nine times as much as the original right But the important thing is we still think being gay in and of itself is a joke Yeah, but being blue collars all about fucking homophobia sticking it to the facts It's not really it's more of a mentality. Yes, you see Joe Biden saying that the middle class isn't a number It's more it's more of a way of life and thinking whatever. Yeah It's like so we're gonna it's time to bring the middle class back by not letting Indian people in the movie theater Or whatever that however, whatever your definition of the middle class is it doesn't involve any kind of economic analysis

I cannot believe that motherfucker and it's funny It's because that shit works on people works on liberals that don't realize that they're just extremely racist. No, not that they're rich Well, what the fuck is the middle class if you take away the economics of it, right? That's what I mean. Well the tuck in their shirts. That's what I mean It's rich people that want to feel like they're fucking That one of they're a regular ass person I think it's more people that like used to do okay in the fucking 90s And then the bottom fell out and then they can't admit that it's like no you were a loser that was propped up by a fake economy

Right, so you're like, oh, no, we can get back to that. It's like no you don't have any skills Yeah, you never had it You could be a middle management guy that fucking did like smile to people and be like keep working on those Spreadsheets, whatever the hell those are right 200,000 remember back in the 90s when like jobs were so good that there would be guys that would just go in and murder Everyone in their office You don't hear about office shootings anymore You think it's because the jobs were good and he was mad he lost it

It was so the economy was so good then that like jokers had middle management positions Guys are like now the profile of the shooter like he went Oh, I see because he's fucking you know, he lived with his mom and he was an incel. It's like no that guy still would have shot A place up. It's just he would have been earning $80,000 right fucking had a little apartment. Yeah That is true. Yeah. Yeah, you don't hear about workplace shootings because the economy. Yeah, that's why we everybody wants those jobs now Everybody, you know, you got it. You know, you're they you know, you don't have to worry about somebody shooting up an office anymore Right because they're like, well fuck if I shoot up this office, I'm gonna afford, you know, yeah My my $38,000 a month rent

Living in a villa. Yeah fucking for swimming pool ass villa. Yeah, that's what I want Overhead I want one of those, you know those mansions with like a marble swimming pool. Yeah, hell. Yeah, and they're just waiting there with all the steam For somebody to garot me Come up and kill me. I want my initials in the bottom of the pool Yeah, then you look up from aerial view and you just see big-ass SH. Yeah GSH Wait and what GSH your initials. No That's my initials phase. No, my name is Stavros Halkus. Gash. There's no what? Are you fucking serious? I'm sorry, man. The contractors already did the pool. Fuck

How much is it gonna cost to fix it can't because the water is already in there? There's no way you can't take the water. Fuck. That's how pools are set up. Fuck Well, what am I gonna tell people to come to my house now? I don't know. You can tell them a sense for something other than gay, but well, yeah, of course That's not my name. The problem is is that there's a they're gonna know I'm lying. No, there's a butler who hands out little Nose cards to people that says the G stands for gay. What? I mean we already paid the butler is that? I'm sorry, but we already paid the butler. How much? Went to kick-goes and how much is the look at that possibly cost for how long?

Is he have a lifetime contract? Look, he's union. He's in the union When is the contract ran out? Look, you can't get rid of that guy. He's in the union. Oh fuck Well, this is really fucking annoying. Yeah, can we ask him to hand out something else? Well, I don't know like what a Sign that says I'm it doesn't stand for gay a sign you want him to hand out a suit only one person will get it You're right, dude. Fuck. That's impeccable logic Well, I suppose I'm gonna have to tell people my first name is gay and my middle name is stavros

from now on There's no other way around it But I got to be honest with you man. I'm not too pleased about it Do you have that thing you have to read? Yeah, why'd you send it to you? Oh? Where's my fucking phone? It fell. Did you want me to read it? No, we got some we got some minutes here. Okay. Hey, what do you know? What do you say? There's the the orange bridge orange bridge? Mm-hmm. I would love to go on Jeopardy and just threaten people just give the wrong answer and be like that's bullshit

Fuck that fuck my buzzers fucking stuck my buzzer. I knew that just knocking the buzzer out other people say Idiot. Yeah saying every answer you get right you say boo. Yeah, like directly into the ear of the person next to you Okay, Mike you're had negative 42,000 Next one right next one. I'm gonna I'm about to get hot baby. Yeah, let's go to sports Thirty two thousand dollars. There's like that's not a category. There's no sports Now please do Russian literature the only one remaining Yeah, who is who's fucking toy story or whatever his name is Letter toy story. Yeah, who's yeah fucking war and peace by toy story

They're like our judges say that that's completely incorrect, but considering how close you were and And how stupid you are we're gonna give it to you For even sort of under sort of understanding that that man kind of exists You get the points. Yeah, who's toy story? and a Karim or pussy And a Karim Abdul Jabbar and a Karim and In a Karenina. What's that book about some hot bitch some dumb bitch who lives in a shitty house

Did she get fucked by a soldier or something? I've never read any toll story Yeah, yeah seems old. When was that motherfucker alive? 1842 Boring, I don't even know. I have no idea probably 18 The first half of the 18 so he should always 19th century. So he should was all lady I always hated that as a kid. I hate that. Why is it one off? Yeah, it's fuck you man. Yeah, just call it the right one I know it's so stupid. What what what is the thinking there that it's like one of those things is the first century Well, yeah, that's the first century fuck that because I couldn't call it

Okay, so it would be weird to call that one the zero-width century and because of that for the rest of them are fucked up Yeah, or the art century anything. Yeah, anything else. That's not the first century. Fuck that. Uh-huh the first century is 100 From now on. Yeah, you listen motherfuckers anyone listening call the 19th century the 1900s That makes so much sense makes way saying it. I feel so good the 19th century. It's the 19th century You know what I'm talking about the 1900s. I know I'm imagining the 1900s while saying the 19th century I'm thinking about flappers getting it makes me it makes my kitty sucked and now I'm saying 18th century and I'm picturing steam steam One of the one of one out of six stills from the Cheers intro That's right, and now I'm switching over to the 19th century, and it's the second or third one. Okay, you know now

I'm thinking about 60s. I don't know now. I'm thinking about Days of heaven, and I'm going back. I'm saying 18th century again in my head nice and now I'm thinking about Fucking the American Revolution. Yeah, so that's what 17th bitch wigs powdered wigs 17th I'm now. I'm thinking about the 16th century, and I'm imagining pianos that sound shitty But everyone pretend like that's good music. That's good shit because that's the only thing they have we have a child that has syphilis He's wearing a dress, and he's the best at it But this bullshit instrument. That's what the 16th century is or whatever You know what you'd be crazy man if you could go back to those days man and like you know

Rap for those dude and just blow their minds. Absolutely. You know, I'm saying man If you could like could you imagine how their minds would be blown? Yeah, I could be like where are you getting all these crazy African styles and influences You would be the king of Vienna man. Mm-hmm. You would be the coolest. You get so much pussy in Vienna. Yeah, they ain't never seen a wigger before me the wigger of Now there's a Tolstoy book I want to read Just some guide like winters were long and depressing in cold and Anna had breast cancer in both of her breast and brain cancer And everyone walked very hard and toiled and the winter was depressing and her babies They die and they could not eat and then the winter in Vienna a man

crossed his pants and wore them backwards and spun around and he said what's up to people and He was the wigger of Vienna Wish I actually had read Tolstoy. I knew what what kind of shit he was like that you pretty much probably Russians love being sad. I know but I've heard that Tolstoy is actually sent like quite sentimental. Oh, really? That's sentimental is that Russian could be he's probably sad, but also like That is sentimental thinking. It's bad that bad things happen. I'll tell you what I'm sentimental for gambling me to you know Transition slash opening points. I don't know about you guys

But for me my game is ten times more exciting when I'm putting money on I I know and I agree Yeah, sometimes I have a gut feeling about a match-up and sometimes I'm just betting on my team because dude same actually That's insane. They're just saying that regardless Whether you've been betting for years or you're ready to play for the first time my book is your best bet this oh my god I know I Literally know yeah, like honestly dude if you're the kind of guy who likes to bet a little to win a lot Try a parlay. Yeah, for instance if you like a couple of the big favorites this week Parlays are perfect because they let you bet multiple games together for a much bigger payout

I mean come on. That's pretty cool. You know, I still don't know what parlay means even after you said it Yeah, that's one of those words. Well, I do parlay is one of those words like rendezvous. They got used too much by a certain folks and Now it's I don't know what it means. Yes. Mm-hmm. What the fuck is a rendezvous? What's a rendezvous a meet-up? What's a liaison? Jason Maraz ruined that one for me. I don't know what liaison is But I know what rendezvous is because it means date or a meet-up a rendezvous parlay means, you know

What I just said which I understood. Yeah, I don't know I'm so I'll tell you who does is the folk the good folks are good people my bookie I mean between freaking football season the MLB playoffs and the start of the NBA and NHL seasons It's time to get off the fucking sideline and get in on the fucking action mate. Yeah, mate Listen might if you live in another country Then you probably can't use Or maybe you can't I don't know probably you try it Just say you just lie about it

Hey everybody here the Australian criminal here for my bookie dot-com What bookie just come I'm not allowed to use the website because I don't live in the United States But I violate both domestic Indian national laws to sign up Mm-hmm and gamble my fake Australian money On sports. I've never even heard of never, you know Here's Australia's top sports rugby football Boomerang Pussy smishing

Ride the airbow. No You're right We bring him into the bar. It's one of the bars that we don't let him in normally And he's like, oh, this is good. We've ended segregation Twenty-nineteen that's one of their sports the guy told me that when we were in I know what guy told me that we remember that guy when we were in bris vegas He pulled me aside and he was telling me a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that guy said it Yeah, so it's that guy. So if anyone is mad, they should go to that guy that all those frog tattoos

Yeah, the grouper tattoos. Yeah, he did you seem pretty enthralled with kind of his talking points Well, what can I say? He was a charming guy He charmed me No, you know, it's really charming is winning money winning money Let me tell you this if you're the kind of guy who likes to bet a little to win a lot Then try a parlay For instance If you like the couple of the big favorites this week

Parlays are perfect because they let you bet multiple games. Wow much bigger payout. That's awesome. Yeah Yeah, man, if you really want to support your team this season, don't just sit on the fucking sidelines Yeah, get in the game with my bookie dot a g. Oh, it's dot a g. Yeah So if you're gonna bet this thing, you're gonna bet this season Do the smart thing and go to my bookie dot a g because no one gives you more ways to win regardless Whether you've been betting for years or you're ready to play for the first time my bookie is your best bet Because I don't know about you guys, but for me a game is ten times more exciting When I'm putting my money on it, so sometimes I just have a gut feeling about a matchup

And sometimes I'm just betting on my team because they're my team. Oh my god. Yeah, what they call that tribalism Which we're against we're I think it's a good thing or it's before it Yeah, so go to my bookie dot a g and if you join right now my bookie will double your first deposit is that a g Dot attorney general. I don't know man. It's fine. I mean, let's say, you know that they're on the other great legally speaking Is that they have an attorney general domain? That's right. A lot of people they hear, you know illegal online sports betting that that They really that's a real big turnoff Some people here criminal enterprise and they think I don't know I don't know about this

But I tell you my bookie dot com that's the only website that has a dot attorney general dot a g That's right. Would they be doing anything illegal or have shady business practices with a dot attorney general domain? Yeah, of course not and we don't know if it stands for that for sure But we have a hunch it could stand for a girl. Oh, which are you calling women liars? Because if you are think educate, I believe women I Believe them about Harvey Weinstein, and I believe them when they said I don't know about you guys But for me a game is ten times more exciting when I'm putting my money on it I believe the women that said that mm-hmm with a girl top-level domain

So tell you what between football season the MLB playoffs and the start of the NBA run HL seasons It's time to get off the sideline and get in on the action Because this is a this is true if you use my bookie calm They actually let you play in the games Yeah, if you use it enough if you put enough money down at least it's gonna it starts around five hundred seven hundred thousand dollars Once you put down if you make enough Well, that's actually true if you have enough money to buy one of the teams That's true

You can make yourself a player, but you have to do it through my book you have to bet that money first You have to bet the money yet the only way to get enough money to buy an NHL team to demand to be on the ice Mm-hmm except your gloves also have razors in them. Nice. That's what I would be the blades guy If I played in the NHL my style would be Shredder. Mm-hmm. My position would be Enforcer. Yeah, but I would you know, I would have two katanas Interesting and you would then slice the other people's like you know, and I would cut people's arms and legs off Cuz I'm an enforcer. That's yeah, dude. That's old

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Mm-hmm the man you heard the man. Yeah, you heard the man his self How about my cookie calm and it's a delivery cookie website and every and you sign up It's it's 32 hours a month and every month you get a shipment of different types of cookies But here's the real trick is what I'm doing on the back end is going to all the Mrs. Fields Franchises and buying their day old cookies where you get five pounds of cookies for five dollars. Is that real? Yeah And then you just repackage them as like these thirty five dollar package specials smart fucking send them out to people I love that. Yeah, this is you really get that five pounds for five dollars when I used to work in the mall I would go to Mrs. Fields and my lunch every day would be five pounds of cookies

That's cost-effective it's funny how when you're like just trash Like things like that just make sense. Mm-hmm. You're like, yeah takes care of lunch dinner. Yeah You don't understand it what you're doing to your body You don't know how much you're just how much better you'd feel if you had like a salad and a vegetable Yeah, yeah, I used to go to Burger King and fucking ask for like the food that got messed up And then one of the African guys that worked there got mad at me. He's like you can't do this I'm like fuck you. I do it all the time. Please and he's like you give me a fucked-up whopper Yeah, and then he told on me. What? Yeah, my manager. They were like yeah security said there was some issue with you yelling it

Cuz I threw like a drink across. I Didn't throw it at him, but I was like fuck this place Because because they got in trouble for asking for For fucked up food for food. They were gonna throw out any ways of Burger King. Yeah, well he wanted it for himself, dude I know he did he was feeding his family Of however many yeah, I would say about four four four to seven to nine mm-hmm anywhere in that range or 2d2

Fuck when I was coming back from Louisville there was a fucking some kind of Like metal festival and I saw Marilyn Manson in the in the airport. That's awesome. Yeah Yeah, he's he's sucking his own he was like he's only he was rolling down like yeah He was in a circle sucking his own dick and his handlers were just pushing him towards his gate Is this him sucking his own dick in the security line? Yeah, like no no no I said take your shoes off He's like oh, I'm sorry And he puts his shoes on the belt Fucking walks through the machine mm-hmm

Yeah, he didn't have to wait in line Dude, he fucking superseded that shit celeb status bro. Yeah, but he was still in the airport. So I guess you know Beautiful penis the beautiful penis Yeah, he had up Get pretty puffy cheeks Yeah, we're blowing himself The 25 years you think that that pups your cheeks. Yeah What do you think the pump happens from I don't know come explain Marilyn Manson song

I don't think it is. Is that no it is is it? Yeah, I don't know a single Marilyn Manson song. Yeah, you do That one that one beautiful people The fucking sweet dreams remake. Yeah, but that's not his song. Yeah, it is No, it's that bitch with red hair. What's that one? It's like America. Some of them want to suck you Yeah, the Eurythmics some of them want to fuck your ass That song's tight. That's a good song Yeah Yeah, that's when they were exploring like hot androgynous women in the 80s

I'll take that and they went too far. I like that dude. I like cuz they cuz you're like wow This is yeah, I don't kind of because at first you're like, hmm. She kind of looks like a dude I'm really not into this then clothes come out titties are out. You're like, oh nice. It's a girl after all Yeah, it's like a surprise for yourself. Yeah, you thought you were gonna have sex with a man And then it turns out nope The hot lady Yeah, that's kind of my that's kind of my thing like Susan powder Who's that? She was in exercise

mogul Back in the back when like you're back when the only option to not be a fat piece of shit was fucking like What's his name Tony? No, I'm not Tony gazelle Susan powder. No, they Richard Richard Simmons. Yeah, that was like the only out you either fat as shit Or you like bought those tapes. That's true. That was the only options you had available to oh, yeah I would smash using powder. Yeah easy money, bro. Yeah, I I remember because my grandpa was fat as shit and they got him like a Susan powder Like a videotape and he was like no

I'm dying. I Will die just before I do this kind of shit Yeah, you know what dude that's so true because Everyone's doing like at home like fucking and it's like yeah, people were already doing that shit I'm just with a videotape Fucking Peloton just stole Richard Simmons whole shit, dude. Here's a great tweet from Colin Korgie Hey in title. I don't know Let's fucking I don't know. I don't so much you said it to me. Okay. What does it say?

I thought this was maybe a bigger account than it is When I put them on blast They only have 500 followers. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, damn and now that people are gonna look him up But it just says hey in title dudes just a reminder that women on here. Don't owe you anything. Here's a helpful list of just a few things They don't know you and their time Jesus Christ their emotional labor and answer and explanation or reply a follow Shut follow back Like what do you think is like what is this what's going on in your mind that you fucking and pull out your phone and type that in there

He's just he wants that he wants the worst form of clout possible I just and you know, and then he and you know, he's trying to get pushed He hit send and then he did whatever dumb fantasy is happening in his head where it's like, you know I I did it. I did some people remember me as somebody that did something that said something Somebody that had to just had to say it and had to say I reached my break. Thank God. I was here I just had to say something Some of them want to fuck you I tell you man I like the group chats have gotten me sucked back into Twitter. Mm-hmm, and

It's just garbage. It's so bad now. Yeah, it's so much fucking worse than it was Bro, I was never big at Twitter and now I just log on whatever memes going on I post about how I have a little penis in the meme format. Yeah, and that's basically it for me, man I just see dumb shit all day long that makes me Like just question cuz it's like it's not even people arguing with each other anymore They'll take anything and use it to like. Oh, yeah, you know make a fake Are you are you with someone that doesn't exist even exactly? Yeah. Yeah, it's like who is this about who are you mad about? Yeah Although everyone was mad at the Queer Eye guys or something. I thought prospector 88 was dead for like six hours until he dm me

No, I was like fuck this website. I Was about to just shit. I was ready to just shit on so many people because I thought he killed himself Why would he have killed himself? I don't know his life sucks. Oh, I I don't I've you know what? It's funny. It's like I didn't even think to ask that question. I Thought he killed himself and then I found it no at no point was I like why would he have killed himself? It's like of course he killed himself, right? It makes sense. Yeah, of course. He killed why wouldn't he kill? Everybody's like he's probably just taking a Three-hour break from the internet. How wait, how long was he not on Twitter four or five days?

And the last thing he uploaded was a video of him sitting in his car listening to the office soundtrack And he's like looking around his car, and then there's like a hose coming into the hell yeah That's a great bit if that guy killed himself that way salute forever. He's talented enough to do that Which is why you're like a I wish I thought or what would have been awesome is to just if no one knows who he is Yeah, just that's how you log off forever. That would be awesome. Uh-huh cuz he doesn't he doesn't have like his name attached or anything Does he? No, yeah, yeah, that's the way you go out. Yeah, do you see that thing about that guy the furry who like Amputated his own hands. Hell. Yes. I think you told me about the circulation off to his own hands so that he could have paws

So you could have his hands removed and that was pause and presented it in kind of this way We're like well accidents happen. Yeah. Oh, yeah an accident were you yeah? Didn't he plunge his hands into dry ice fucking hours waiting for your hands to turn purple? Maybe like whoops Does he have paws now? I don't know if he has paws they like fucking cut his hands off at like, you know mid forearm But then it was like a month after you're like a week or a half after that that people started with this like well It's a queer bashing to make fun of furries. It's like all right. Let's bring this bring that guy out again Let's bring the hands guy out again

Let's put him front and center a furries gay It well, it's kink and then that like falls under like queer stuff So I know we're fucking don't what can't every kink is queer Well, you saw the thing in Pride parade where those guys dressed up as like leather slave puppies We're like interacting with a four-year-old girl and people were like Okay, is this I mean I Know your heart wants me to not ever being like this is a too far right domain

But it's like you're fucking pushing it for real, you know, and then people are like well There's nothing wrong with it And it's like it's like I just don't want to think about the the outfit Someone has on when they're getting fucked when they're contracting HIV on purpose, which is like even that It's like go for it, man. It's like just don't fucking like Explain it to a four-year-old girl in graphic detail. Yeah, well, I mean they probably weren't doing that I don't know man. That picture is pretty bad. Was it cuz it's like people are like, well, how am I gonna explain this to you? My kid, you know, it's like dumb conservative thing. How am I gonna explain to your kid?

And it's like you don't have to yeah, what the fuck do you think you need to explain to your kid and then like a year later It's like, okay. Well, we're gonna have dog sex in front of your child on Broadway So good luck explaining that to your kid. Is that I Guess I don't get why you would dress up in the in the in your fuck outfit to go on parade Shouldn't that be just a fuck? I don't know man. And then the whole thing's like sponsored by Mastercard What like what is going on Some of them want to suck me

Some of them want to see my balls Some of them will fuck me. Fuck me in my ass Have you ever been to Kentucky my mate me? Yeah. Yeah Where Lexington? Did you like it? I don't know. I kind of just slept there. Nice. It was on the road a Fucking road dog back in the day. Yeah, I I definitely got to get it. I had a little dalliance with getting too fucked up Well, a load dog. That's what they call you. No, that's what I've heard from other comics They call him you the load dog. Oh, cuz I bust so many loads. No, actually the guy at Hilarity's said that

You were drinking a bunch of cum Yeah, Sam Clemus said that Sam Clemus told me That you were drinking cum and you were like everybody. It's me the cum dog and you had a you had a leather puppy dog outfit. No I've never drank on the load dog. Are you thinking of different stavros? Is there a different stavros comedian that drinks cum? No, he had GSH Yeah, fuck dude. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to find that picture of that. Yeah, whatever. What? I don't remember that picture Maybe not a great what side of your body is your heart on the middle. Okay, good Never mind then I'm not having a heart attack probably just my muscles getting ready to

Blakie just like just had a heart attack. No, really? Yeah, damn. I mean he does a lot of cocaine But he looks less fat seems less fat than it's been so pup Chester Right my take on kink fetish at Pride events if you take your kids for a family day-out at Pride and they see stuff That's a bit much for their young minds to translate Then that's on you as a parent pride should not be a kid-friendly place. It's not a day out that that I agree with That's a good point. Yeah, that's that's fair if you want to make it a fuck festival, which I guess it is. Yeah Um, can I see the picture? Well, this is a video. So this is these are people dressed up like dogs and This is not the picture I saw

This just seems dumb and then here's a baby watching it It's like a literal baby, but these guys have pants. Yeah. Yeah, that's not too bad He's got the mask on there was one I saw where like they're just I mean It's like the gimp from fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah pulp fiction with his ass just purely out. Yeah And that was pretty funny to me Oh, oh, baby Hmm, I guess I should put my phone down. Yeah, probably Maybe we should plan our fucking trip to the pumpkin patch, dude

Attorney General Barr has held private meetings overseas with foreign intelligence officials seeking their help in a Justice Department inquiry That Trump hopes will discredit US intelligence agencies examination of Russian interference Nice. Yeah, dude. I hope he just fucking Drags the whole big goddamn thing down with him. He might dude. Yeah, didn't he accuse someone of being treasonous? Yeah, he called the Alonso more a traitor. No, he said he said like that. It's lately. He said someone should Be investigated for treason. No, I don't know. I mean, it's like Yeah, they think people would kill if he was like go out in the streets and kill I hope I hope these invest again I hope I hope he continues to do wildly illegal shit and everything that in the fucking impeachment fails

He gets a second term and continues to just act Just incredibly fucking out of line and break the law left and right and every investigation drags a bunch of fucking like Democrats With him, right, you know, I hope it just yeah I hope he's just a fucking cancer that every time they try to fight it. They end up just like Killing what they would consider to be healthy cells That would be hilarious Like you think well, I thought that's what this Epstein thing was gonna be Yeah, you know, I really thought that they like people would run with the Epstein thing and then find some dirt on Trump

That also implicates like Clinton. Yeah, these other people Unfortunately, I guess, you know Epstein killed poor guy killed himself cell and the guards that were watching all the guilt had gotten to him Yeah, the guards are watching him weren't employees and there's no record of them and the cameras were working Yeah, and that's really fucking bad. Yeah, it's it's really weird that that happened And there's been no inquiry into the weird temple on his island or like where all the evidence from the case went You know, yeah, well, dude, you got to let go and let God dude. Yeah, you can't let you like that drag out it's You just can't even think about it

It's just like didn't didn't some lady that accused Prince Andrew like dying of plane crash or something and it's also now There's always the dipshits trying to be like, oh, yeah, if you care about Epstein that much It's like there's other things going on. It's like, no, there's not There really is you're trying to hand wash that it's like fucking like Joe oh well conspiracy like, you know that fucking I think believing in Epstein conspiracies isn't a personality, which it's like that's not why people care about it Yeah, it was we were so close to having some wild shit blow it open All right, like I'm saying obvious case of fucking like corruption and cover up and like you can say there's more

There's important shit that needs your attention. That's fine. Yeah, but you have to realize this is some wild ass shit Yeah, the motherfucker got murdered Clearly did Kevin Spacey just murdered somebody. Yeah, that was I mean, it's just like all these people that are connected Murdering people. Yeah murdering the one of them the guy caught dead the rights G-Lane Maxwell. No, we just no interest in finding that. Yeah, no one cares She's submitting fake photos of herself to the New York Post. She's publishing them without question No one cares. God damn It's like, yeah, I don't really give a shit that the president is like actively committing treason

I mean, that's that is wild. I mean, it's very it's very funny to me. It honestly is funny Yeah, that he's going he's going to other countries being like, hey, can you help? Can you just find some shit on Joe Biden? Yeah I That video we're fucking like Chris Christie went on the news before the transcript came out And he's like you're not gonna find anything unless he says something like Wildly, yeah, like do me a favor and then the tape is just listen. Do me a favor I love him. I know dude. I don't understand how you don't see him as sort of like Uh, not really an anti-crime. Well, yeah, sort of an anti-Christ

If you've been let down by Christ so much. It's like, well, is the anti who's worse the anti-Christ? Yes, or all of the people in the middle I mean probably him still the anti-Christ. Yeah. I don't know about that. I mean, he's still worse, man. Yeah There's still some there's still plenty of non-chill things happening Mm-hmm, but it is funny. Mm-hmm Damn, what the fuck is this thing? What's the name? This is awesome. It's the planet earth Fuck dude. What do you mean? What is this thing like the look what he just asked? What is this? That's insane There's is that what is that lava? It's no it's lights from cities

Oh It's like a fucking mile above this I thought it was lava. No Are you sure man? Yes over there at the end. That's not lava. No, these are cities Hmm, and there's lightning storms though. That's cool Anyway, um What the hell is it it could not more clearly just not dude that looks like lava. These are clouds I've got the clouds. I didn't think I thought that was like bright-ass lot, but I guess now I sort of see well hold on I mean, I get it does look like lava. I think it's lava. It's not lava

That's not lights, dude. Well, I don't have my glasses on but I'm telling you that's definitely the earth It all right, yeah, it looks like how a city would spread out and be dense in the middle No, bro, that's just a lava. It's not lava. What the fuck? What's that bro at the very end the cracks and shit more cities? It's just those are fucking streets No, it's not lava. We'll look this up later and we'll let you go. Oh, fuck. It's gone We'll never know now Anyways

Anyways folks Our kids still playing with hot wheels. I don't think so. They are how do you know? Oh you babysit? Yeah I Typed in I typed in hot wheels in it, but I typed whore wheels accidentally. Oh nice, which they should make those for girls So it picks you up after just call hot wheels whore wheels. Yeah, sort of a walk of shame Yeah, every whore wheels is another server service. I would love it if there was a toy company just completely fucking up this gender thing You know like the gi joe people are like we made slut joel

She's she blows the military guys and they come back from saving the country But she has health insurance. Yeah, that would be I mean You would probably make a nice amount of money doing that shit, dude. What slut joel slut joel Oh, for sure. If you mark it as like traditional toys. Yeah Yeah, traditional lifestyle. How about gi rl joe and he's he's gone to his Scientists to change him into a Okay, do a girl and so he's got like a metal vagina And uh poor choice. Why metal vagina? Sure. Yeah, because it's it's his wet. It's her weapon

Yeah, what do you want them being fucking? Like raped and more Oh true. They're still deployed Oh, okay. Yeah Yeah, come on abby, of course. Yeah, this is why I'm the head of the toy company gi rl joe yeah James gi rl jones gi rl gi rl stein gi

Jai, work it out, man. You almost got GI track jajo Just game of boggle Joe gi jio gi jio gi jio Yeah, good afternoon. My name is gio. There we go. My name is alawale gi jio and I am I am the professor of driving a taxi here in Uganda I am the dean of the University of driving a Uber AOC is trying to bail out like a taxi drivers or whatever they're like and

like I don't know did you guys see that they have so much debt or whatever like it's like a million dollars how much does a medallion and the medallion costs like 900,000 and I guess a lot of them are killing themselves damn because they have like no prospects or whatever that sucks yeah always tip your cabbies folks that's right and that's all I'm gonna say about that mm-hmm there ain't nothing give them good advice not money but yeah you give them life pro tips on the way out yeah every time I tell I get a cap I like to say yeah hey what happened to those bead things you guys used to sit on what happened to those

things remember that you guys all used to have those guys always had that shit the fucking bead thing what happened to it no I'm talking hello hello the phone down for a second maybe you'd be better at driving if you weren't on the phone with India talk to your passengers customer service maybe you'd learn English a little quicker can I get one of those bead things for my car what do you get those fucking things you gotta we get them from like a market in Marrakesh or something from some kind of like Marrakesh market hey you ever meet Indiana Jones you ever come through your village fuck everybody up steal a little

fucking amulet or something let me ask you something if you got the option of doing this or making a snake come out of a basket why aren't you doing this why aren't you doing the snake thing hmm is it because it's more dangerous who dies more cab drivers or the snake guys fuck you ever worry about that you open one of the baskets in your house and it's the one with the snake in it he's just looking for your slippers but boom it's the cobra basket and what if you don't have your flute handy if you got it what do you do then let me ask

you something right at Rom White had some joke about like you get on the plane and you have to sit there next to some guy with a picnic basket on his head full of covers you're where do they shit you next to some guy with a picnic basket full of cobras on his head like no one has that man that's not even the correct those guys wear turbos even the guys with the fucking snakes wear turbos yeah how does that work snake charming I'm not sure this is a practice of appearing to

hypnotize a snake often a cobra by playing and waving an instrument or called a pungee typical performance also include you know be cool is to see like a snake basket and the snakes are coming out of it and Michael Rappaport is trying to charm them with wraps and he's like yo why is the system whack we got an orange Cheeto this making things whack you know the snakes just start biting the shit hey Joey the snakes to bite me up somebody get these freaking cobras off me I thought I could charm them with with wraps instead of a pungee I thought I was trying I was going to do a fusion thing like Paul

Simon what do you get a damn pungee dude like juggling in the practice most common in India though other Asian nations such as Pakistan Bangladesh Sri Lanka Thailand and Malaysia are also home to performers as are the North African countries of Egypt Morocco and Tunisia ancient Egypt was home to one form of snake charming although the private it's cool you can have a podcast or you just read Wikipedia yeah listening to the wiki podcast the wick cast we go through and I struggle to read and I'm not that good at reading people keep sending me the video of the English

there's like a British down syndrome I guess there's a lot of down syndrome drag queen stuff going on now is there yeah it seems like the majority of drag queen stuff from now is now down syndrome occupied good for them it's DSO good for them which yeah I mean yeah it's fine I don't like I understand like you know there is like people being like this is too far why yeah well who gives a shit if they want to dress and drag dude go crazy yeah I like the idea of taking away what is already a pretty stupid competition from normal people and giving it to people with down syndrome I think dry you think it's

stupid RuPaul's Drag Race rocks dude yeah but you could easily just have only people down syndrome on that show oh damn that would be a good show yeah see what I mean I would watch that for sure yeah it'll be way better because you can't do that with the Olympics right you can't just get rid of the Olympics and only have the special Olympics you still need the super special Olympics yes the extra special except for the weightlifting portion but everything else they're actually not that good at that really yeah damn yeah who would have thunk yeah no how good are the best events at the special Olympics are shadow

puppets the holding small plastic objects in your mouth competition they have to hold things like Lego guys and the rapper for a Happy Meal toy in their mouth wow really the one that survives really I did not know they had that in the event yeah that's a big event that's a big that's their number one event somebody and say oopsie Daisy here messing things up everything going everything's yeah everything's good everything's gonna be baby we should probably just go yeah yeah well winding down well now what I was saying is you couldn't you know you couldn't replace the regular Olympics which you know it's

interesting I was thinking the other day was that the regular Olympics the original Olympics back in ancient Greece were the special Olympics because they would often use mentally disabled people to feed the Lions in the Coliseum they would use people that were punished by Athena with the curse of idiocy you're fucking up all across okay I'm not this is this is true Coliseum's room no I the Olympics haven't way before that no I saw all this in one of the mummy sequels Athena who is the god of either being smart or retarded she would damn the

gladiators and that's why they that's where the word comes from is they were always smiling even though they were cursed why is this guy so glad this guy so glad he's damn he's got a terrible learn all that from the scorpion king huh from the scorpion king three Tokyo drift I love it yes so check that out learn about the history of the special Olympics from the scorpion king come see us at funny mom special gladiator that would be a great movie yeah it's like he's been at war he's been in the Golic Wars with Caesar and then he comes home and fucking comatose as the the brutal ruler comatose has gone to his house

and eaten all of his chocolate chip and banished him to live as a slave in the McDonald's territory and he has to compete in drag shows throughout the Levant to make his way back to Rome then he's just in drag in the middle of the Coliseum going are you not entertained damn about the fire up gladiator I want to watch it again yeah I did actually watch the mummy again and it's funny because it has the terrible reviews from when it came out but it came out in 1999 which is like the best year for movies oh yeah that was a good ass year for movies it's it's insane you think about what came out that year fucking

matrix matrix fight club American Beauty the mummy the best movies ever made I mean some yeah the list is fucking Magnolia eyes wide shut okay election which I thought came out like 93 I was always surprised yeah that came out in 99 no it is a good ass year though yeah but I was to love the damn mummy did how about the silence of the clams yes from the perspective of Buffalo Bill Buffalo Bill yes I like that idea now listen here folks why don't you come see me do stand up comedy at Medford the Flying J October 11th Kalamazoo the October 19th Detroit October 20th and then November I'm coming to Atlanta on the 23rd

Baltimore Thanksgiving weekend and then I'm coming to Houston and I'm trying to on December 13th and I'm trying to add Austin to that so keep check on that shit maybe it's coming out I'm trying to add in your Orleans date and some other little random shit somewhere in there but come see us at funny mom's again on the 14th and then every Monday after that and then come see me every Tuesday at fat motherfucking Tuesdays every Tuesday at the stand comedy club good bye goodbye everyone