The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 176 – da joka baby

Episode Date: October 9, 2019

im da joka baby

I'm welcome welcome you motherfuckers to the pussy parade it is me Rob miss dr. Pussy the robot king mm-hmm of eating come where are we ready to go we're recording yeah stops doing a robot that has a parade or something I don't damn did you derail dr. Pussy the robot and you fucking that's bush leak well I'm the Joker baby Nick and I just saw the Joker oh Nick you went as well yeah we both did I guess we have to go do the chop-o thing after yeah we're gonna we're gonna do but you know this is the fresh takes fresh takes they're gonna get the second hand takes first of all hands down awesome really yeah I

loved it it's okay yeah it's really good I mean you can you like if you know obviously you could point out flaws in the movie or whatever if you wanted to there's a lot of dumb shit there's a lot of dumb shit but if I don't understand how you could sit down and watch that movie and not enjoy it interesting yeah I had a great time at the wow it's it's fucking tense when it needs to be tense it's really funny sometimes unintentionally the violence is done really well what what redeems it is like you like people forget the Todd Phillips is a very funny comedy director yeah so the times when that movie needs to be

funny it's like really fucking yeah there are a couple little like site gags yeah pieces that are very funny you can you show your penis yeah they showed my penis a couple times because that would be that would make a whole well it's kind of a rule of three the first time it was funny the second time not so much the third time yeah it works like does where you can laugh at it for being dumb but it's ultimately still funnier than you and that's what those moments do it elevates the movie about like above the criticism from like boring people they're like oh this is you know interesting dumb for whatever reason but anyways point

number two it's about Adam I don't know about the Joker is Adam Friedler I heard you were whispering to Will some things that he was laughing at and I said what did he say and will wouldn't repeat them so I don't know what it's 100% Adam that's awesome one the haircut for sure the hair the gay clothes not getting pussy yeah right I don't have a gay body not like just does the Joker get pussy no looking up the courage for six months to finally do a comedy club yeah I'm thinking he did a lot better than he did that's not true either that's what happens dancing around his apartment imagining being dipped by a man yeah

there was a little sounds a lot like you actually I haven't seen it then the real fair I haven't seen getting into bed with your mother baby your mother he is his mother yeah he's a good son it's sizing about having interactions with black people happens prominently in the movie it wasn't about any black person was by the love interest yeah it's it's the movie was totally Adam being like I saw this a black lady on the train and she was like all about me or whatever and then it turns out that was a lie that he came up with well there's a difference between a lion hallucination okay I wouldn't say that someone that is

schizophrenic is lying all the time I don't know you would they're fucking liars yeah the only Joker I've ever identified with is the I'm the Joker baby kid who is still I think the greatest Joker of all what about that guy that sings karaoke and like Santa Cruz or whatever oh yeah that guy's gay is he that guy sucks I've only seen him I've only seen a video of him doing it but you know yeah I know I loved it I love the two there was like the draft house did some gay ass documentary about the Joker before the movie and I really did not put me in a good mood to see the movie and the movie completely surprised

my expectations it didn't it didn't like fucking they didn't do any of the searching everyone was being searched elsewhere is that real so if you they went through her back you heard it from Nick guys if you have a gun you can bring it to the go to the draft house but I was yeah I thought it'd be real screen if you just like I could shave my mustache but leave my beard and get like a whole bunch just decked out and like just super muslim shit and then get like searched on the way and be like why cuz it's all because I'm a muslim is that why I'm being searched because I'm a muslim man you don't trust me to go

into the movie theater they're like no it's cuz you're white it's like I'm gonna do whatever they want in here to this one is it's not you for this one I'm just dressing up like a Joker and going through the airport be like oh cuz I'm a white man going flying as the Joker is a great move oh yeah I mean you could do anything as the Joker yeah yeah I'm gonna vote for Trump as the Joker I'll be waiting in line yeah I'm about to vote for chaos in the ballot in the ballot box when you're in there you know you just go I'm the Joker baby

well I'm the Joker baby hell yeah you see they're also making some dumb ass Harley Quinn movie where it's like Harley Quinn and like four women Margot Robbie it's literally like they immediately had to make girl Joker dude they saw how much how successful guy Joker wasn't like oh oh we messed up the formula but it's not even that they took the one from the it's the woman from the Jared led it like it's a simultaneous other joke they make Harley Quinn it's the suicide squad universe how funny would it be if that just tank just makes zero dollars I don't know dude I think women can be incredibly chaotic I think they

can but like again they wanted this when Captain Marvel came out they said the way this we want to have the battlegrounds for this dumb cultural dispute should be retarded gay comic book that's the bell whether of who's who's winning the culture what a terrible time to be a lot so for the faggot in cell movie to make you know yeah break every box office record no it was like Warner Brothers PR like drum that up and it fucking worked they they fucking absolutely yeah because before this I thought I thought I was gonna see it because I see all these dumb ass movies yeah I didn't think it was

gonna be good I thought it was gonna be like just joking how do you say them Joaquin Joaquin Joaquin Noah Joaquin feel it do you really not know it's Joaquin that's right that's right yeah I mean you know it's not like you're only that was a mean move that was a me glad I'm not Adam it was not you were doing it Adam what first of all I would never steal a bit I'm telling all myself okay second of all I know that's not not the Adam stealing the bit the Adam saying the word wrong I know I would if I stole a bit I would at least be funny is what I'm saying it's not as I'm saying it wasn't a stolen bit it was a mispronunciation

you do that to try and be funny I did it because I had yesterday and I space at Katz's deli they have Joaquin Phoenix and it's spelled W-A-K-E-E-N one of my favorite parts of the movie is where they just show that like tight shot of where he wrote in his notebook the worst part about mental illness is people expect to have expect you to act like you don't have it or whatever yeah we're supposed to be like a nod like yeah people don't take mental illness seriously anyways here's a movie about how they paint themselves as clowns okay I guess that's what that point is yeah that's the other thing Nick and I

were talking about in the car is like the like the gay like lefty Twitter politics take on the movie that was actually about subversive politics and not just some how it will they just like a joker and kill people people have been taking that position is Thomas Wayne is the bad guy in the movie ever it says mom's crazy and his mom tells him that he's actually Thomas Wayne's son but it's like that's sort of vague you don't know if like he just did some rich people shit and had her thrown in an insane asylum oh so wait is he actually or it doesn't matter like it really doesn't matter yeah yeah it's just

brother yeah it's that matters that's cool that's family do I want to see the movie now I mean I do but I really want to yeah but anyway but like that whole interpretation work is like a parallel or whatever because I mean it is supposed to be about urban crime in New York in the 80s in the 80s up until the 90s there used to boiling point in the 90s and in the 90s they're like okay Rudy was like let's just be as racist as yeah yeah yeah let's throw them all in jail and put M&M stores everywhere let's fucking put babies in jail for a shopper but yeah but anyway that whole interpretation that will like discourse

about how it's actually about Antifa is just completely like how would it be about it's it's not a lot of people accepted that with like that loose observation with fucking dark night rises well that I heard that was actually about Antifa oh really well I heard it was dark night right I heard it was Occupied I forgot with the thing I heard a really fucking gay man say that a bunch yeah who ripped Torney just died you shouldn't be saying that about him no if you can shut my dear I'm the Joker baby I'm the Joker and I'm gay don't know how I got these scars I'm the Joker baby having gay trash I'm the gay

Joker baby I did get that one well damn it Larry I'm the gay Joker damn it Larry I'm the Joker baby rip Taylor just died to be to go to heaven and be with his lover rip Torn take turns yeah rick or Taylor Taylor to a gay sex game we play called tinker Taylor Taylor rip rip my ass and tear my ass damn what damn that's right rip Torn did die most famously known for ending every jackass film yeah yeah that's true I don't get what my dick you can touch my penis he was just gay and he threw glitter at the ends yeah yeah I did what do you do before that for real I think he hosted he hosted comedy shows I think he was like a

host I feel like he was on Hollywood Squares but I'm not gonna show no that Bruce Valange Bruce Valange yeah there's an even gay or older guy than that match game on TV which I've not like I like hold on what's that gay guy's name Roy Cohn Adam Friedman no yeah the scenes in the movie where he's like just dancing around with his like just a feminine body being like everybody's making fun of me that's not how I had nobody takes me seriously that's not how I everybody wants to laugh at me and nobody wants to laugh with me he doesn't get pussy ever huh no he's a black woman that lives in his building that he stalks and then he

has like a fever dream she's from the show Atlanta she's hot where they're dating oh she is always all Zanzu no it's not so he sold on I said Zoe's all Zanzu it's a different person no no it's not her either it's all Zanzah Zalitsa Zendaya's it's not Zendaya it's Zendaya Jalanzio I forgot her name but she looks good she's so hot dude the mom and just meeting a black woman Zendaya Jaluzian I presume my name is Britney oh I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm the Joker baby well I'm the Joker baby you see hi hmm what did that guy do in the Joker baby video did he just say it

someone tell me what where's the time that we're at we're about 15 minutes in no not even almost I mean look 12 12 and a half 12.5 I've kind of like my dick times three yeah yeah yeah yeah um she is really hot damn do you see your titties no I mean he goes in like one day with her and he goes on a date yeah he has like he had the experience he's psychosis he doesn't go on a date with right but I mean he's like has this psychotic break where he thinks he's like doing well at the comedy club and she's laughing yeah that is like me honestly yeah damn interesting you're right fuck yeah I guess I can't see it

till like Wednesday late in the day and I think he kills her daughter too that's he kills three black women in the movie nice and in one of them's a child so two black women yeah which is part of the reason I liked it how much dying does that happens how many people die yeah is it a lot let's see how many people as you kill just just ballpark it he kills three white men who are rich no I don't want to know and then specific three and then no not specific for white men stop telling or no five up shut up guys who's the fifth guy's co-worker I'm not listening a la la la la Glenn fleshler 20 um no I don't think that many okay

yeah less people anyway so it was a realistic amount of people for that you couldn't kill without the cops it's good thing they did a period piece because man how gay that movie would be if they tried to like work in him being canceled on and Twitter yeah yeah that's coming dude no it's not the reboot the cancelled Joker maybe it may be in girl Joker when they do girl Joker she's gonna be like you know she needs $20,000 to start a podcast that gets given the New York Times gives her $45,000 to start a podcast with two of her and her friends and then she gets broken up with so she can't start it for six months

while she has to go have sex to get over being broken up with that sounds chaotic to me your times goes listen we're gonna sue you if we can't get this money back and then she's like I don't know what I'm gonna do we're like you could just start the podcast you just do it she's like I now I feel like I'm being forced to do it yeah you're not respecting my mental health issues yeah you are and there she's like well now and then she does girl Joker by accusing her boss of rape that's chaotic yeah he didn't rape her he didn't rape her no none of them no she's never been raped yeah and but she goes around to point

she's lying on that's what the Joker that's that would be the Harley Quinn movie yeah I mean that would be evil I guess chaotic Adam are you about to fucking chew gum in the middle of the podcast no I was gonna keep it I was gonna just chew it and then put it in my hand when I talk and then put it back in that's stupid it's twisted that's the kind of thing Arthur flex steen would do is the character's name is real name Arthur Fleckberg Arthur Fleck is it Arthur Fleck steen does he sign you rose in Jewish Arthur Arthur Golden yeah Arthur Cranston gold steenberg really yeah I didn't know that I didn't know

they went in that kind of direction yeah he spends 40 minutes at shul it wasn't I guess it wasn't he was in love with his mother he tried Santa he's like how come all the people that have all the money always get away with things and like but Arthur you have all the money and you always get away with things and he's like oh right you're not allowed to say that though yeah but no but you're not allowed to point that out that's anti-semitism that would be cool for Todd Phillips to do yeah yeah have you ever seen his first movie the GG on doc no man you ask every time it comes up it's so sick stop patting my cat dude I don't

like the way the cat's enjoying that you're disrespecting Nick in his home get him bite at him sick him you can't train a cat like that you can cats aren't trainable well I'm the Joker baby I bet you someone can dogs are well I'm the Jonas brothers when they should say that that'd be something I'm Nick Jonas baby oh yeah they want to know how I got these guys I just get plastic surgery look like Nick Jonas that was bad that's my villain character is Jonas his name is the Nick Jonas no it's not Nick Jonas the nectar he was a guy he's also named Nick but coincidentally he got tried to get surgery and it left him with scars

oh sorry I just he does kill a black woman for sure we all the social worker yeah yeah the woman and her kid which is it's not it's implied that they're killed it's not you know I don't we don't need to talk about this man you already people said you didn't want to see it no I you said it was gonna be bad you knew it was gonna be bad saying you was gonna be bad yeah cuz girls on Twitter told you I did not motherfucker I said you said to me no I didn't say you said I heard it from girls guys keep this under wraps but I'm trying to get pussy from no one don't say that I'm trying to learn at born the new pussy

I'm learning new pussy techniques and if the Joker's got to take one on the chin the Joker's got to take one on the chin and you know I love Joker who stuff you know you know good ol stop Joker lover I love Joker kind of stuff that kind of women change you saw that's the point you're right you're right I even fucking almost sold my purple suit and everything yeah but I'm glad I didn't come on bro it'd be great if instead of like Robert De Niro's late night talk show he went on Steve Harvey's exactly and they're wearing the same suit that's where you know they don't wear the same suit that's where he gets the suit oh

he's wearing one of Steve's that's so that's funny to you then police officers to be in murder you know what Steve you're a bad guy you know what you get when you cross a loaner he's like oh hell nah just done shot Steve don't come on my show wearing paint I'll kill everyone in the audience Steve's the one who kills everyone that'll be awesome yeah yeah well okay a lot of fun at the at the movies I guess I'll check out a Wednesday matinee you know if I had come you know for sure we would have died right yeah because then chapeau and come to I would have died at the Joker at a mass shooting it would have been the

best culmination straight because I went with Matt and Matt was laughing the whole movie mm-hmm and there was a black woman in front of us who kept like turning around looking scared yeah yeah yeah Matt was like I guarantee all these dumb fucking blogs have people convinced that they're in danger by going to the Joker movie I know it's crazy I mean well yeah I remember there was a games homes probably the day after Aurora I went to go see Dark Knight Rises and my girlfriend and she's like can we just like be close to the emergency exits and it's like how do you think the fucking world works yeah it's gonna be a thousand

just gonna be a bunch of people doing Joker shootings now statistically I mean look there's been too many theater shootings but statistically what's it been five out of a million movies I don't know of any besides the Joker there's the Joker or the Dark Knight technically in a Schumer's movie but no one went to see the movie so I don't think anyone died so the people I think somebody just went in and for like unloaded on an empty theater and they're like oh whoops yeah there was train wreck wasn't there another one train wreck got shot up yeah you don't remember that no I kind of like train wreck that must have been in

the lady news LeBron was good in it but I was funny Sam Orrell's in the Joker movie yeah which is weird they should go home and they shouldn't have put real comedians in it and Greer Barnes but not as a comedian yeah as what as another one of the clowns nice he works at a place with a clown place that's cool at the clown store oh interesting and did you notice one of the clowns was like a buff Chippendale style clown yeah it was me that was stuff yeah one of the clowns was the clown from spawn no that was not me yeah the buff guy was me the hot guy the violator no the sexual I'm the guy that lies on the Joker to get

pussy now did the Joker ever fall in acid no no that's no no no that's Jack Nicholson didn't the Jack Nicholson Joker yeah he falls in acid he's Italian he's an Italian mob guy and then he falls in acid and becomes a clown yeah and they made in that movie doesn't he kill which doesn't Jack Nicholson kill his family he kills his like henchman his main henchman in the Tim Burton movie mm-hmm that movie sucks dude no I don't do people for like that movies good I liked it when I was a kid I think I tried to rewatch it recently it sucked now I didn't make it the whole way through though oh yeah Batman can't turn his neck

in it very funny because of a suit yeah suit costume yeah it's funny anyway did Tim Burton do the Danny DeVito one he did right yeah the penguin Rihanna is about to be fucking they just keep moving now they keep making more Batman shit Rihanna's Rihanna's poison ivy and I think the one where the Twilight guy is bad like why is there so many of these movies bro Rihanna's poison ivy I want to see that I want to just do like but because of Rihanna you're right it just pitches the article Joker teaches us that it's time to listen to white national that it's time to tell WSEs to sit down right down shut up because the

Joker has a lot to now it's the Joker's turn okay you had 18 months yeah we listen to you for two years what did you do you made Lady Ghostbusters Captain Marvel cancel Shane what's next lady Joker it's gonna be bad I didn't you listen she kisses people right I already told you what the story is gonna be she gets the podcast money she never does the podcast she just tweets about if I did a podcast about this would you guys listen to it and then a bunch of other girls go yes one million percent fire emoji yes yes you oh my god I have to listen to that and then it never happened but if it did none of them

would none of them would listen to it they would start their own podcast and be like I don't know I don't know about the buttons are too hard to press it's too hard to move the dial so every woman on Twitter would do that yeah mm-hmm I can't button sir my finger interesting yeah mm-hmm it was great dude I loved it all right yeah I'm gonna go to a story on Wednesday probably and see that shit anybody who says it's bad can fuck off I'll tell them you said that mm-hmm that's so funny Matt scaring women scaring a black I mean look at him too of course if you're expecting me it was gonna be him right he's bearded yeah

oh yeah always like the guys you should be like if you went to see Fruitvale station and there was like a black dude wearing a wife beater and his eyes didn't go any degree less than completely wide open like one of one of those guys there were no Fruitvale station shootings were there of course not but me being me I would not want to be in the row in front of like the guy being like that's right that is what they do important important stuff going on text Adam I'm texting will about what time will be over there most likely yeah that's more important than our show why a different podcast will try to be

courteous Adam will you suck my penis no will you suck on his penis suck on my dick will you will you suck on my penis what do you say Louie you suck on my penis does millhouse's dad ever get pussy after that fuck a hot woman for a second or no I'm making that up his mom fucks a hot guy right yeah but this millhouse his mom's kind of a piece of ass I would fuck I love to fuck a bitch with blue hair yeah I love dumb hair will you let me taste your ass I would want listen if you're I would want a hundred percent if some like think about it Halloween costume you'd like to fuck millhouse's mom is

dude I was just saying that the other day when I watch that episode again I was like damn Lou Ann millhouse could get it yeah throw on a fucking blue wig some fucking red glass her body her body's bangin yeah her marge is stuck to her face is just a big button I mean her nose is half her head well isn't doesn't she look like no she looks like no yeah looks like the same yeah Marge could definitely get it dude no come on of course is it if she let that hair down yeah yeah well let's see the ones we wouldn't fuck Lisa Maggie yeah I was gonna say that technicalities I guess yeah um I wouldn't fuck Marge's sisters

definitely not yeah no I guess I would get domed from Edna I wouldn't hit yeah I would fuck the bee guy yeah my ass my asshole Adam a pooh's wife definitely oh damn she's she might be one of the hottest in the whole show but she had nine kids pre pre her pussy getting blowed out mmm plus you can fuck her in the ass yeah that's allowed in the religion that's part of the religion you can fuck her in the air this one day the elephant just like imagine you kneeling and closing your eyes and asking that elephant can I cannot bust in my wife let me fuck my wife can I please fuck my wife in the

please Baba Ghanoush and he's Baba Ganesh he's like yes Ganesh Baba Ghanoush is an eggplant dish Baba Ganesh now that's my kind of God dude an elephant to feed you fucking eggplant dipped smoke Baba Ganesh is good well we're not done naming a Simpsons characters boys late Lisa is that we'd fuck Lisa in this future no you still wouldn't fuck would you fuck the teacher future Maggie though future Maggie although how old is your man who gives a shit she's a cartoon you're right good boy I mean technically she was born in fucking like what 1986 damn she's older than us yeah

well not only not only I was born in 1987 born in 1984 she's your age dude dude you know I wasn't born 1984 maybe you're age going around saying dead ass I'm not 36 scheduling scheduling your first prostate exam and you're like this slaps are we gonna do three episodes in a row of the dead ass attack I think it's in the cannon right now I might I might have to because I'm the Joker baby chaotic chaos dude well well that's my favorite because you want to know how I got these guys well that's just a vine is there anything more than there's a whole video I didn't know the in fact the original I think is still online it's

an entirety which is like man delete that I know the damage is done but what does he do I've only seen that clip where he goes I'm the Joker baby oh it's like the whole scene it's like from like some high school some probably like yeah a theater high school oh they encourage the kids to be gay in every way except just holding hands with each other you know right so this thing man is that the nice stuff about the LGBT thing you know you let preach you're telling fucking 10 12 10 11 9 year olds now like if you like boys go ahead and suck their dick in the locker I don't know that's the exact message they're bringing

trans people into the health class and they're saying just go ahead and suck their balls anybody wants to come up here and suck my dick try to learn try it out learn it up and they're doing that now they're doing this in this that is true but I'll tell you what here's what happens the kids that really want to do that shit they do that and they're not doing stuff like dressing up like the Joker making a video putting on a play they're not it's not being their gay impulses aren't being improperly sublimated right bad art yes but that's what gay people have done forever putting in or putting on show stoppers

right you know they get to suck off that trans I guess woman woman or man or whatever it happens to be this dick I don't think that's gay dude what is that's straight to suck a trans woman's dick you're right you're right and Ian Ian somewhere is smiling right now hearing that yeah Ian is Kirk Van Houten we just said we would fuck him so we would fuck Luan so I guess yeah fucking yeah what do you say millhouse will you take me back as your dad hey if you're in Europe go see Ian actually he's fucking doing a European tour right now really yeah who is he out there with someone or no solo dolo Ian Ian headlining so go go see him

don't laugh Nick at the plug we're doing for our friend he's an Amsterdamer son I don't fucking know just go to his fucking website make sure he's all right yeah and suck him off oh and I should say this if your penis doesn't work yeah we got a pill for that you got a nap for that the blue chew I can't wait to get some blue chews I need blue chews for my blue I need some bleaching my penis is blue and what it did I want to do my penis is blue so I take blue chews is this like a balsam or black yeah we've we've really highlighted the white trash but now it's time for the black it sounds like

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dunk it feels painful it feels like you can dunk you have a hard dick for the first time in your life dude a real hard dick no it's kind of like it makes you feel like when you were first getting boners like in adolescence really take blue chew and they're very angry boners my penis are hardly hard in my bonk bed yeah I was see if you see me my bonk bed and I make my penis hard my bonk my bonk bed bonk bed fuck I still gotta look up the copy for this shit I had too many fried pickles in this I'm struggling here damn what are the snacks you guys I went I hit the I borrow your penis before the movie I went to the

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Because I'm not. I don't have that problem. I'm not either. Oh man, I shouldn't have eaten all those fried pickles. Is that what you had for lunch? Yeah. I had penis for lunch. I had a root beer float in the theater.

It was really nice. Whoa, my man went old school like a child. Yeah. It made me feel special. I remember wanting a root beer float and hearing about them for years before I was allowed to get one. What? And when I got one, it was fucking trash, dude.

Root beer floats are nice. No, fuck that dude. Yeah, because he was like six and he found a way to get the fattest shit off Brussels sprouts. And he's like, he's like, mom, mom, my kids at school have told me about the candy. The funny thing is I did go to preschool with a Greek accent. I was like, hello everybody. And they were like, I wasn't even fat back then.

And then he had to eat himself. Yeah, dude. It's because of racism that I'm fat. You're right, Nick. Prejudice. Yeah. That's what the Joker movie is about. Really?

Joaquin's only thin in the beginning of the movie and he gets much fatter as it goes on. Throughout the movie, and by the end of the movie, he's 472 pounds. I would love a movie with a drastic weight change. Where is that? It's a changing bowl. Yeah. I guess.

That's a perfect example. No, it's not because it's later in his life. Like much later. No, he gets fat like before the fights and stuff because he stops like training harder. No, shut up. Jake Lamotta. He doesn't get that much fatter. Yeah, he's got like a big gut and he's jiggling it around.

The Santa Claus. There you go. Suck my dick. Yeah, the Santa Claus. Fucking idiot. With him. Dumbass bitch. You got me.

That's that's like in a month. That's CGI though. That's low key CGI. You're right. But low key though. This is CGI man. I want a real movie set in like a three month maximum period where the guys got to get fat to get his kids back or something.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean that was that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie jingle all the way. No, I think so. No, I think that's what happened. Jiggle all the way. Jingle jingle all the way. No, he's got to get like a turbo man. Come on.

I have to jingle. I have to do it all of the time. That's the movie. Really? Yeah. So he does get fatter. Yeah. Jungle all the way.

And it's Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was thinking you were going to say that. They made me do the makeup. They said I have to rub the convenience store with the makeup on to play. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Remember jungle to jungle.

Yeah. I don't. Tim Allen's like you mean to tell me I got to go to Africa. Oh yeah. That's right. Why is a son in Africa? I don't know because he loses custody to Africa. This son.

I remember I remember drunk and he gets married to Africa. He teaches his son the word obligation. Mm hmm. That's a pivotal moment where he's like it's an obligation in the beginning when they're friends. Because it wasn't a movie identical to jungle to jungle. George of the jungle. No.

Where Brandon Frazier keeps hurting his penis on trees. There was a movie that was just like jungle to jungle. I don't remember. It's like the same exact plot back getting your son back to in the parent trap. Mm hmm. You know. Who's got the hotter mom. I don't remember who played the mom in the parent trap.

I feel like it's a blonde bitch with a short hair. But I don't know. I can't. It's too painful to see Lindsay. You know. I can't watch it. Damn. I remember when she was lying.

Big ass titties. Yeah. Well she probably still does. But they were like fucking right in mean girls a little later like right after mean girls. Mean girls is when everyone found out she had big ass titties. That's true. I remember in high school I used to jack off really lust after those breasts. Me too.

Those gorgeous breasts. This is an M F H M or a maximum. Yeah. And you better believe my friend Christina had that at her home and I don't. I don't know if I stole it and jacked off or jacked off of the bathroom. Also those pics of her with the knives that like surfaced online. Those don't do it for me. I enjoy them.

No. I enjoyed them. I don't like that. Why. Because it's too dangerous. Too dangerous. Yeah. But she's looking hot as hell.

I guess it is. You like me. She looks deranged. I don't like the crazy part. I just like the sexy part. No. You like it. You like the insanity.

I'm going to pull up that picture. You tell me she doesn't look good. Me. I want to be treated nicely by someone with big titties. That's honestly. Me too. That's honestly what I literally said that to you the other day. No.

Shut up. I want to. First of all motherfucker you can't just hop on the big tittie train now. Something I've been dedicated to my entire life. Okay. I lost my. I lost my virginity. Yeah.

Because it was random draw to Jews. Just everyone fucking pairs off. Everyone knows. Yeah. That's what I trained on. You didn't. I trained on that. Choose that.

Of course I chose it. No. At 17 years old. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Don't even fucking dare. Anyway. Don't even fucking dare. We need.

We need you to meet. Please. I'm trying to figure out what the fuck that other movie was. Dude, there's no way Adam likes titties. Let's put it that way. I love titties. Not as much as I do. Adam's attracted to women that look like him.

That's true. That's not true at all. You say that all the time too. That's not true. That is not true. You don't like titties as much as me man. You don't. Adam's ideal sexual encounter is him and Rachel Maddow touching index fingers.

Like ET. And then when it touches. Like the ET thing. And they both. That's not true. The idea of Trump being thrown in jail. Like God and Adam and that painting. Yes.

Yeah, that's cool. Or like how Q's made on Star Trek. Yeah, that's cool. How Q. My favorite. Q. Q. Q.

I'm watching Sture Trek. Store Trek. Store Trek. And Q, man. They be, they be, you know, going with the Q's. Yeah, they. What do you do, dummy? Turn into a different type of person.

A real shape sifter. That Q. What the fuck was that other movie? Damn. So what do you guys think about this whole? What's it called? Ukraine or something? Rick Perry did it or something?

I don't know. I forgot. Rick Perry was even in the mix. I forgot he was in the government. Was he secretary of energy? Yeah, I think he just quit though. And now they're trying to, they're trying to blame it on. Did he go back to N word head ranch?

Oh yeah. I forgot about that too. His family just had a ranch call. Yeah. Dude, my brain sucks. It's the N word in the fucking title of the ranch, dude. And this man was like, yeah, I'm trying to be president. It's a historic name.

Okay, man. Yeah. When he bought it, that was already the name. Yeah. You know, like it was named after a historical figure. This is the black guy with the head. That would be awesome. This, this apartment was called a Hitler did nothing wrong.

And I respect the history behind the name. It's heritage. I hate as the, the marquee do Hitler did nothing wrong. Now it wouldn't be becoming of me to change the name. You would be spitting in the face of history. And I understand that. Yeah. But you could also spit into the face of my ass.

Jungle to jungle. You're still looking. Yeah. Because I swear to God, there was another movie that was like, Well, there was, it was a movie called little Indian big city that Do you remember the Indian in the cupboard? That's what it was. There's little Indian big city dubbed.

Yeah. So yeah, I was right. It was just, I didn't think it was, it was a French movie. No, you're making this shit up. No, little Indian big city. How did you even see that as a kid? I don't know. I mean, I would pay attention to cinema.

You're a cinephile. A movie buff. No, you were a weapons file. Yeah. You were looking up grenades and shit, dude. It's one of France's most popular movies. What about that movie where Chevy Chase and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and He's a stepdad and they have to go do some, you know, cultural appropriation.

That's jungle to jungle. No, it's not. It's Tim Allen and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and after. Oh, Chevy Chase. That's the man of the house. Yeah. Yeah. That's a different movie.

Man of the house. Listen to this. This is about from the French movie. Thierry Lemite. That's his gay ass French name. Look at this. That's just a regular. No.

T H I E R R Y. Yeah. Thierry Henry. Yeah. The best soccer players. L H E R M I T. His last name is stupid. Learn meat.

Now meat. Sounds good to me. Lower meat. Lower meat. Sounds like a Baltimore guy saying a little meat. Lower meat. Lower meat has been Adam. Lower meat.

Let's find this. Let's see if I can find a trailer. You got some lower on me. Yo, Adam's got some Laurel. Me. Yeah. Little pull out that Laurel. Me.

Big city. The. What are you trying to say that this is the same plot as jungle to jungle? It's the same plot as jungle to jungle. Well, I mean, we could do this or you could continue. Denying the fact. That you are lying about.

Wanting breasts. Thank you. I want. Yourself. To have. That's. That is. That is an out.

Absolutely. Uncalled for. Salacious. Accusation. I get it. Something very suck. Lacious for you. Yeah.

That's what it sounds like. A kid from Milwaukee screaming. Now, I've never seen a tribes person with huge tits. Have you? Yeah, dude. National geography. Amazon jungle. Like Amazon.

I mean, like. Curvy. They got big ass cities on there. Not like that. Not the people in like the Amazon. I went on a sex store of the Amazon. Really? How was it?

Sexual tourists. Was it. Did they have good pussy out there? Yeah. This is the same movie. I've never seen that in my life, dude. Where the fuck did you find that? Has anyone ever heard of that movie?

Adam, have you? Well, I used to like. Never. When I was a kid, I thought they always made two versions. Of every movie, but that was like, there was often a thing where, you know, I mean, you know, somebody, a script would be popular. Somebody would buy it and somebody buy a similar script. You know, it says to get like deep impact.

Yeah. But so yeah, I mean, I paid attention. I don't know. Yeah. I just was somehow aware. I'm like, oh yeah, that's what happened there. I didn't realize it was a remake, but it was so similar. Where'd you get movies from blockbuster?

Yeah. The library. Blockbuster. Yeah. The library oftentimes. You ever get movies from the library? I don't remember going to the library ever. Really?

No. My parents didn't make me go. I used to fuck. I used to have to do the summer reading program. No, I never. So good. I never. I never did.

It made my parents hate. It made me hate reading because my parents made me like, you got to read 30 books. I used to love the irony is I used to love reading as a child. I hate it. No. Did you actually love reading? You just think you remember loving? No, dude.

I used to fucking love going to library for real because I remember reading but read Super Fudge and shit. Yeah. Oh yeah. Judy. I read all that shit. I read all that shit. But did you get those books from like the school library?

No. I would get them from the regular. I get them from the kids library. They would just give you the books. You read fucking the wacky whatever the fuck that school or that school that's upside down. Yeah. That school sucks, dude. They should they should have fixed it.

Yeah. Now I remember the Simpsons and that's it. Yeah. I've been why I've been rewatching the Simpsons. I haven't done that in a while. It's great. It's such a good show. I want to rewatch the surprise.

The fucking the Venus de Milo episode. That's a great one. Uh-huh. Damn. That's how we're getting canceled. That's how we're getting canceled 100%. And then the fucking they bring like, oh, they have like four women on the show to talk about Homer Simpson.

And like this, the female host of the show is like, uh, she's like, and you had an encounter with Mr. Simpson. The woman's just crying. She's like, hey, I'm sorry, I can't say anything. She's like, that's okay. Your tears are better than any real evidence. That is problematic now. Yeah.

Oh yeah. No chance. Right now they're, they're fucking, they're talking, they're drawing Trump for some reason. Like I feel like Trump is a character in the Simpsons now. Really? I feel like he's in every fuck, I see him in every commercial. I mean, that show is so fucking bad now. Hasn't been good in forever.

Similar to SNL. They did have a pretty funny sketch I saw online that was like newscasters, white versus black newscasters being like mad at each other or like competing over which race did a crime. Yeah. On this season? Yeah. Just now. It was kind of funny actually.

Dude, I haven't seen either of the first two episodes. I just saw that clip online. Um, where are we at right now? Don't worry about it. Yeah. Don't fucking watch you fucking, why don't you mind your own fucking business for a change? All right. All right.

Stop trying to pretend like you love titties dude. How long do you have to live in New York before you can just start talking like this all the fucking time? I think that's why I started saying dead ass. Yeah. Timbs. Yeah. But it'd be funnier to just do this instead.

I mean, it is equally as absurd. If I just showed up and I was like, wow, what are you talking about? What are you saying? I've been saying dead ass for years. I was saying dead ass like that. Oh, sure. Well, I'm in New York. I just mean New York.

Adam Friedland. They took, yeah, they took dead ass from the Italians. Yeah. They don't talk about it. Dead ass. Dead ass. Dead ass. It's them pronouncing an Italian word.

It's like Dia di Sandrio Landia. Yeah. Dead ass. That's it. My favorite is calamari. They say Galama. Galama. Galama.

What the fuck are you idiots talking about? It's a southern Italian accent. You mush mouth fucking dagos. No, they just don't know how to say their own language. Fuck Italians. No, I thought it's like. I thought it's like. Nepolitano or something.

Yeah. Yeah. Slam dunk. Slam dunked on your ass. It wasn't a slam dunk. Slam dunk. Wreck. Fuck it.

Kill shot. Boom. Oh my God. Got him in the sights. Got a beat on him. Fire on his ass. Got your ass. Black cracker.

That guy that drew that comic. I showed you. But the dad wanted to buy that. Oh, the hat. Yeah. Yeah. He's funny. He's just sent me a video the other day.

Let me see if I can pull it up there. Who's this guy? Just some guy sending you. Some guy from online. Yeah. Personal racism. Yeah. Cartons.

Just for you, Nick. Custom. Custom racist cartoons. No. He sent the video and then all he said was back on my bullshit. He's just sitting around drunk searching for these things. The video is Old Man Gets Kicked Down Stairs. Oh, yeah.

Someone's grandma. Only in Chicago. Just look out. I mean, it's sad, but it's also the way this guy falls is so funny. Oh, God, they truly kicked this man off the fucking balcony. Fuck. What was he trying to do talking to somebody's grandma? He was sex harassing an old woman.

I guess he slapped somebody's grandma. Oh, okay. He's probably drunk. You got to kick that guy. Yeah. You got to kick him to the chest. Got his ass. Got his ass.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Damn, bro. Yeah. You should have seen Joker, man. Damn. I should have. It was great.

I should go to the movies more often. I guess that's the other thing, too, is I haven't seen anything in theater since... Jesus, I guess probably... Really? Yeah. What was the last thing I saw in theaters? You didn't see the 10... Probably tomorrow never dies.

Shut the fuck up. What's the last thing I saw in theaters? I'm going to say... Shit. Probably the sixth man. The replacement story Keanu Reeves. Yeah. Yeah.

Chain reaction. That's the last thing I saw in theaters. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice going to the movies, dude. I've been getting really into popping my own popcorn now. Oh, yeah? Before you leave the house and then smuggling it in a backpack?

Yeah. In my ass. That's what my friend's Jewish mother used to do before she dropped us off at the movie. She'd give us popped bags. Is that why they did that? It's an ingenious move. Popcorn's the hardest thing to smuggle because it's such high volume. You put in your backpack.

You just bring her in microwave? Brought her in microwave. Can I plug my phone in? Dude, I miss that shit. His mom would drop us off at the movies for the 11 a.m. It's my phone. And we'd see like three movies and we'd get picked up at like six. It's a replacement phone from the store because mine's being repaired.

Let me plug my phone in. It's got numbers on it, doesn't it? Oh, shit, man. Hello, police? Yes, there is a black man not letting me plug my phone in at the movie theater. Oh, yeah. He looks armed. He said he has.

All right, man. You're not talking to anybody. So just please leave your microphone. And then just opening and shutting the door being like, this is the police. This is the police. We had talking like it's a mouth. Oh, this is the police. I got a puppet using the microwave as a puppet.

They're dragging your pants are falling down. Oh, the popcorn's coming out of your ass. Popcorn girls falling out of your ass. Like, God, unhand this man. This is the police. I'm not going to tell you black motherfunders again. The actual police dragging you away. This is the boss.

This is your boss. This is commissioner Gordon. Arrest the black guy instead. Just some fucking idiot. Yeah. That'll be awesome, dude. All right. That's it.

That's the show. Yeah. Hey, guys, listen to the post office. Listen, if you are in fucking Medford, New Jersey, come see me this Friday. If you're in Detroit or Kalamazoo, 19th and 20th of October. And then Lafayette, Louisiana and New Orleans, Louisiana, the eighth and the ninth of November. Okay, bros. Well, we got funny moms coming up the 14th and then the next whatever.

And I might be doing a longer set because I have to run my half hour. All right. That's so you have that to look forward to. And also Fat Tuesdays fight. And then my dick. Also, you get to suck that. Yeah. Yeah.

You get to suck that. Yeah. So, yeah, you get to suck that. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. So, I'm gonna go to the next one. Yeah.

I'm going to do a little bit of the same thing. It's over. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna go to the next one. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna go to the next one.