The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 182 – A friend of ours

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

Former truck boy Dylan Shelton joins us to discuss his independent film "Coons!," which he had to change the name of, and i forgot what they changed the name to. Check out the movie, available wherever he says it is in the episode because I can't remembe

Ooh, you fucking pieces of shit. Welcome to come town. We're over here talking about Judge Dredd Or something. I don't know. We're talking about black water or some shit in the CIA. Yeah Pete Buttigieg's bitch ass is in the CIA did he did the he did the Cool he did the cool in Bolivia. Mm-hmm. Yeah, his his dance was so fucking horrible The guy killed himself or something. I don't know So we've got Like what are you looking at? I'm checking it for the reeds. Yes. Nice We're sipping on a damn smoothies we're we're joined today

Can you remind me your name? It's Dylan. My boy Dylan. We're out here talking about pedophiles and shit And Dylan's sitting in got a fucking hard dick movie coming out Called something about raccoons Dylan's also a vet of the truck boys game. That's the OG truck boys boys No, yeah, I know it was never a truck boy and that makes me feel sad the intro Nick to the truck boy game The familia did that thing of yours Which was never a thing of I was never part of it. Sorry. I'm still trying because we started working on the truck together, right? Uh, well, you got me the job. We didn't start together. Was I already off the truck when you started?

I think so. Yeah, and maybe I worked one or two jobs with you or whatever. Yeah, because I was just I was just transitioning off that because we had a mutual friend to become a woman Taking estrogen Why don't we just give you some titties, dude I've already got no fat ones. I mean they're some suckable ass titties Are they and then you get you some more jobs? Yeah, are there trans people working in production? Oh, I assume so. Yeah, I try not to see trans. That's true. Yeah, like At this point everybody's like

Anybody that looks mildly androgynous. I just I just assume I did call I did call I hear you on that I play it safe. Yeah, I call an eye on this one. Yeah, he's Don's been calling Adam them the whole time. Yeah, I appreciate it I just I have a lot of anxiety when people attempt a gender But I did feel bad. I was in Portland this weekend and I called a Lesb who what appeared to me to be a lesbian woman I just said ma'am just because I've been on a real certain ma'am kick

Oh, yeah, cuz you're a southern gentleman. I was I was in New Orleans So I picked it up. Mm-hmm after I came back with my fucking my fucking my linen suit and my hat and I was caught and then but I saw the look on their face. Like I just made a mistake Mm-hmm, and they had a little mustache. So I don't know if it was just like oh A trend or maybe just a genderqueer person. I kind of look like that when I get a moustache French and you said ma'am me No, now me I'm deaf and from here I'm out. No, I was just speaking to you in French and in sign language Not only is he also deaf, but he heard me somehow

Yeah, yeah, you know, so what do you do in that situation? You know, that's really annoying to me It's like if you know someone's gender or their preferred gender and you say the wrong one on purpose You're being an asshole, but if you make like a honest honest mistake, and there's you don't know the person That's not something that like I saw the their face. You're not trying to hurt someone's feelings I will never I would never try to hurt her in a beautiful vest. What's nice now though It's like, you know, people used to be scared about You know like oh is that woman fatter? Is she pregnant?

But now you can do that to guys. Oh, that's true. So you can be like, oh, when's the baby do you're like? I'm clearly a fat man. I didn't want to assume. Yeah, I'm rude to both gents. I didn't want to assume I assumed you were a trans man Who's has a pussy that got filled up has a man's inside penis Damn can buck can buck angel get pregnant She's probably taking a lot of testosterone. Oh, sorry him actually he's probably taking a lot of testosterone. Wow, dude Yeah, well, I was thinking about pregnant and then it made me say she now you know who's the fucked up guy Well, there was that calling buck angel. She there was that person in in Australia. That was pregnant

After transitioning to being a man. Yeah, it was a big tabloid news story. I remember that scene It doesn't like the the reproductive system doesn't really like the you know birth system the pussy system I wonder if you get a penis if you get a penis, but you still have a uterus You haven't had like a hysterectomy if you could just get a c-section. I wonder what happens on that show I am jazz after they're done with everything. Well, it's like a child, right? Well, not anymore Combs hair spritzes a little bit of mint in my mouth. Yeah, who's the guy that's been waiting for jazz Full house guys, but they're about trans girls Crossing crossing out remember how

And it's like they were famous for being babies. Yeah, that's a There was two of them Twins yeah, people forget to be rare before they were putting You know estrogen in the milk. Oh, that's true. What happened? Well? I think it's all it's in vitro in vitro babies. There are a lot of twins and triplets My brothers and their twins, you know, it's interesting is like, you know You see those like farm videos of them abusing animals and people like oh

I don't want to eat meat anymore because everybody's disgusted. Yeah Everybody's disgusted by them. That's sure everyone also loves watching those videos of them throwing dead cows into that giant meat grinder People love that. I love it. I've never seen that People love it. No, that's but I do that's scary. No, I mean it's cool People like watching people like watching shit get thrown in those grinders, but not the actual cows I've only watched the videos of dead cows and horses being thrown in there. Well, they got horses I think once there's once they're dead, there's a lot less emotional trash. Oh true I would love to take my daughter in the eye to see her horse be thrown in one of those after she gets to be

in Spanish Yeah sorrycito Sorrycito, ahora Whatever are you sorry now is in Spanish? I think is a Zora. It's here here Yeah, it's here now. Ahora is now is it like aura. I got like our anyway. She's crying Horses being ground up in the blue Is horse meat delicious? It seems like it'd be two days in France. I hear it's gamey

Do you like do they have fat horses? Are there fat horses? Absolutely put your oh, yeah Yeah, you gotta stay tight on these they're not like sorry. I'm uh, oh, that's not a broadcast. I'm not I'm not Very much anew, but by the end of the app you'll be Turned out we're gonna sex you into the cold. I just don't have like the sniffles What if we all pulled our dawn what okay? Theoretical zero what if halfway through we were like oh by the way, we're gonna have to rape you for this to air What if we all just on a cookie? And made a meat it you and I thought I'd ask you about your numbers probably okay

We put our Venetian masks on yeah, so would you be cool with it if we had less or more sex? Do you mean numbers is in our body count? Oh, man, I thought I was taking measurements. Oh I thought he won and there's a lot of numbers. I thought he didn't want to get emotionally attached I was more like I was more or worse sex worth you know People hearing about a movie that I have coming out That's what the leverage Body count nix lock cock. Well, I mean like it's all the above. Okay. You have to be pretty good I need statistics. The numbers are pretty good. I believe we team up pretty well. Yeah

Because I think after one it doesn't matter like true like that like I would imagine that the first cuts the deep and we break We break you off and open. So here's the thing. Here's a good news Our dicks are soft unless later on they're not wink wink if you know what I'm talking about Nick I think so today looking at the calendar Maybe we'll actually you know, let's pick this discussion up later. Oh, let's say 11 So why don't you tell us about the flick The flick is killer raccoons to dark territory in the dark. I love it It is a pretty much shot-for-shot parody of under siege to Which is one of the worst sequels ever. So the whole idea was to like parody bad action sequels from the 90s

Hell yeah, what are the worst sequels ever? Well, well the worst equals like I'm talking about sequels that like the second inch of Adams penis terrible Only Yeah, this thing's only three quarters long Having you admit to the second inch, which is I think to this point you have never admitted I'm gonna take it as a win Building you're building the one step at a time pretty soon. You're gonna recognize my third inch. It's like palace You need international recognition

We're just doing our little thing But no, but so basically in the in the 90s like I grew up on like die hard speed under siege We're all when they came out. That's all good moves. That's like die hard is obviously better You're like under siege gotcha, but the sequels are equally in my opinion bad like speed to terrible die hard to With a vengeance That's that's that's the good secret It's you saying an m word on a boat. Yeah speed to you're just going fast on a boat Under siege to more boat stuff. No under siege to is on the train. Oh, right? Yeah

So we essentially got a train for free nice and Travis that Nick you jealous. No Be honest. I'm not jealous. I've never been a train guy. It was it was fun man. Nick's eyes are open. It's fun to climb around on trails I'm openly admit to a lot of the things that I like trains. Just put a pillow on his lap. Yeah What's why is it raising up the pillow? Yeah, I got in the magic It's one of the things that's one of the things you would be jealous of Magic, I don't care about trains. I'm gonna entertain myself doing magic tricks while you guys talk about your fucking trains I don't care about well, we we had real frozen dead raccoons. Yeah, that's cool replace the henchmen You do it yourself. Yeah, you kill them

So getting raccoons is great because Travis Irvine the director shouts out to Travis I'm sure that's a former DC comic comic. You got out of it to kill and freeze record Sounds like he's doing a lot better Somebody found them in the garbage and they're like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm a director. I'll have a business I'm a directing my filmmaker. I'm an author director In 2017-18 he moved back to Columbus to run for governor Oh, I remember that and then we make this movie. So yeah, because Travis hates age of consent laws That's all right. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he asked me not to talk about that

But that was his big campaign promise. Well, that's how he got into Hollywood. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean he's yeah But yeah, yeah, a child's asked for every dick But to get the raccoons there are like they're because they're considered like a rodents or so you're supposed to destroy them Really? If you catch them so animal rodents, they're big as shit, but they're like consider pests Pests pest control. That's the word. I think so they when they catch them. They're supposed to kill them and destroy them And but they they give them to like a biology lab to test them for diseases to see if there are any disease raccoons in the area And if they're not if they're disease free They just cryo freeze them or like, you know, like whatever the dry ice shit looks like super frozen

And then you can get them from them for free like as many raccoons as you want. Wait, you get them for free Yeah, like we got eight raccoons from like a biologist that had had them frozen and tested and was gonna Either incinerate them or give them to us. That's what we got like an official letter that we can have We're not harming anything. So if I want to fuck dead raccoon, do you just get them for free? Yeah, I mean, I don't I'm theory hypothetically that you have to say it was for a movie. Did you say how does you get the train for free? Yes, of course you can get dead raccoons for free. Why why was that nobody? Because nobody wants nobody wants plenty of people who want an entire train. You can make a you can make a coon skin coat Whatever it is the process of getting a free train that's right million autistic people that haven't figured out

That's right claim. This is because I asked a stupid question. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Nick saying it's for the people at home Oh, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't understand how there's a process in which free train that hasn't already been exploited by retarded people Well, we they keep sending them to jail if they try to ride it It was a nonprofit. They have like a in Nelsonville, Ohio near the Athens OU film school, which we have nonprofits are bullshit You put whatever you want on that 501c application. I'm playing on it's like. Oh, yeah, you give away dead raccoons Sure, no taxes for you pal They have a trip they have like they restore old trains and they run a they run a tourist thing

Yeah, we sell trains and raccoons And we don't pay taxes But they just we they we literally just had to pay we had to submit to the board It took like a nine months of going from the board getting approval to do provide insurance stuff like that But ultimately their employees are on salary and they were just there anyway, man I want to meet the the adjuster who who who like does insurance claims for fucking Model trade like railroads

Antique railroads that you can buy Listen, no, they're real railroads full-size trains They've just been decommissioned and they're like, you know coal CSX we got to do that Yeah, we got to go and we got $25 a day to tip the guy that drove him around for us But we got but we got to shoot inside of them outside of them all for free and it made the whole thing possible So we like so Travis came up with the idea that keep doing it on your seat Oh, sorry, but Travis came up with the idea of doing it against under siege to and we both like Historically kind of have like I went see under each two in the theater the screen broke

I waited for two and a half hours So he asked me if I like if I like that maybe I was like I fucking hate that movie He was like will you parody it for me that rock, you know I can so he brought me like a budget in a script and we like Now wait you have a A raccoon seagull or you have a man. No, we have a man seagull, okay? He's actually the he's a recast same role as the original that Travis made because Travis made your the first one Which is called Coons

Investors wouldn't let's call it Killer raccoons to Coons is like on YouTube and This is a sequel this is actually a sequel Yeah, cuz we're gonna do it. We're the trilogy is gonna be a parody on Alien 3 With a little return of the Jedi to make interesting cuz the original under siege was called chinks Stevens ago was like well, there's a chinks in the armor of the ship That's how the terrorists get in through the chinks

They're like you can't call it that please. How about under siege to? Like okay, all right, that's fine Steven I'm just used to doctor and there's these two is like watch it. It's on YouTube. You can find it It's like the worst movie ever. They made it for $40 million. It's a joke Our whole thing was we tried to make sure the movie still looked as bad Yeah, as I'm just how many now is there titties in under siege to There I don't believe there might be a brief interesting. There might be a brief brief Scene with flash there's no like girl jumping out of the cake like one, you know like that was yes

That was a historic thing. I saw that. Yeah, I was like at seven in the theaters being that was a big deal for me Of course, you're hard as shit next to your dad. I was seven I mean getting hard as shit was that wasn't even like in the equation at that point. Oh, dude You never got a surprise boner for the child and our bees all the time But that wasn't like until I was on my way to middle school Okay, like I don't feel like I was poppin poppin wood before then I feel like I was Really you think I mean like well, I know I could get my dick hard by Massaging it as a child. Mm-hmm, and I know one time when me my brothers were having we would often have dick measuring contests

And I remember one time Yes, and I remember one time I Got older brother just losing thank you until years older than your brother beating you You're four they were two Is perfectly reasonable Is blasting the NBA jam theme in the basement your mom's like what are you doing? We're playing basketball Where's my baking ruler

Where's my baking something his mom needs in the kitchen My brothers are twins and they're two years younger than me. I never measured my grown penis next to my baby Brother's penises and lost very much and lost for the record The point I was trying to make a nick was that I would get Clearly one crying I gotta I gotta imagine I I gotta imagine different sizes as twin brothers It's a complex type thing. Yeah, I think I was like okay to be fair. I'm pretty sure my brothers

They're free to turn big sticks to me And I think they're pretty nice size. I haven't seen them grown up. They're grown up penises. Oh, okay quite some time I've seen eldest penis quite a bit and it is pretty small Just for the record Yeah, all this has a vagina I'll do my friend Don't to catch you up my my dear friend and roommate eldest soul. Oh, whatever has a really small penis Like a micro

No, just yeah, let's say you made for life kind of situation. I know. Yeah. No, he's not He's not my roommate for life. I am gay, but anyway, the point is well question I was asking thank guys to keep it to ask back to the movie is Is how if there were no titties or if there's a brief flash Did you put any titties in your movie? We did not we have like a we have a group? I know we have we have a gratuitous parody. Oh, no, we do have boobs. Yes. No, we have more boo Yeah, we have boobs because they because in the beginning yeah They use that they have that they have they're using a special satellite to zoom in on it because that's in under siege too

Oh, yeah Oh, if they if it happened in under siege to great like the only difference is like instead of running across the train Like with a helicopter shot. Yeah, we would do them climbing across the train Gotcha because we could fake shit like that. I see everything that's no drones No, we did use drones to get some coverage, but with an actor running on the train that like that's a little that was a little out of our Element, you know, like we were we were trying to keep you know Like if you watch like hot shots or airplane like those production values suck. Yeah, you're not getting like a like we got so much Better production value out of the money that we put into it for sure

Like every it's amazing how many people will do favors and solids when they to be like, oh, yeah I'm the VFX on a feature right like people like a lot of really talented people will do a lot of fun Shit to make a movie happen. Nice. And so that like so we got a good good Would they fuck to get a move we have to get their dick hard Well, I mean we we started shoot we started shooting like two weeks after the Weinstein thing broke So nobody could get their dick hard until until you got it, you know I think the point Nick's trying to make is if you really needed your dick to get hard for this movie to get made If you know a service that will help if you're reading the Weinstein news and you're reeling about all the rapes

I can't believe it myself And you're trying to get your dick hard and you can't you should check out a website called blue shoe That's true. Stop can tell you a little bit. I absolutely 100% can though You know Dylan earlier when I said would you get fucked by us? I was gonna say me and Nick can't even get hard But that was in a world before blue chew.com. So Luckily for you. We both took blue chew and what they do is they offer the generic version of Viagra sialis we're talking to Dan the little Phil and said then the little Phil or whatever I don't feel so don my dick is that the really other one sit on my dick a little Phil. Yeah, it is a derailleur. Yeah

It makes you quit smoking. Yeah, your dick gets hardest and you get and cigarettes taste even worse Yeah, basically if you like sex, you'll like blue chew. Yeah You're like not blue chew blue chew.com. You'll let you know the web specifically the website You like blue chew.com because they offer men a performance enhancement for the bedroom Wouldn't you like to last longer and go extra rounds? Yep. Yeah, so we'll be like a fight extra rounds And what they mean by that is like don't you want to get your dick hard like in that? You want to go to that episode of black mirror when the guy has sex with his friend in mortal combat? Mm-hmm. Oh, they go act those kind of rounds. Oh, yeah, gay sex round to fight over PlayStation. That's right. Yeah

Now, okay in that movie or that show anthology series You wouldn't even need to be hard, right? Because we move it in virtual reality VR Well, well, that's kind of a nice way. Maybe blue chew should get into that space where you have VR gay sex Well, they don't need to because because they make you hard when you have a white dream, right? Yeah, I don't know I assume it's blood rushing down. I've never had a way. I've never had one there Most of the the fantasy dreams I have is like I'm on the battlefield There's a horde behind me

I did one time thinking about and you never get the rape the queen You only get into the castle and slitter sons throw it in front of her sure and then right as you get hard That's when your mom wakes you up. Yep I haven't you're gonna be late out of my bed. You're gonna be Watching you say this with the chain mail behind you It's all too perfect. My mom's like get out of my bed. It's like mom I told you I took a blue chew before I went to sleep. I don't want to come in my own bed. I Don't want to get come in my bed mom. I have to go to work. I

Had a wet dream when I was a child thinking about I have to go to my job at the video game store that I have So I can get cheaper video games Continue to you pay all the rest of the money back goes to gaming That is a probably huge part of their business Kids and they were like constantly like buying you like pre-ordering stuff and we come out and be like and they'd be like Yeah, this is gonna be great playing this with my son. It's like first of all, he's to I doubt he's playing Halo 3 with you. Yeah

You just use the child to justify purchasing more video games. They don't have clothes for school Mm-hmm, but they have every fucking ninja guidance. Yep. That's all you need They watch you play mm-hmm while they're crying and the way he actually conceived that child is he got his dick hard They call you dot com. Are there multiple ninja guidance? What am I thinking? I think there are see I thought blue chew up until now It was just a slang for chewing. Yeah. Well, you're fucking idiot. I mean, I feel what it is. You rocks No, it's like yeah when you what it actually is is a miracle surface. Yeah, I'm about you don't even need to go You don't go to stay at home. You chewables from blue chew can be taken on a full or empty stomach That's the thing a lot of people don't know is it chew it means chewable. That's right. You try and chew a viagra

Tastes like I thought that I thought that meant like that was like more No, no, people chew up. How's your date work? Does it work fine? Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Well too. Well Well, get the Quick no, I stay hard for too long. That's that's definitely the problem Yeah, I mean, I don't even want to say I see I'm not saying that a good way. It's you're getting. Yeah, you're getting absolutely A negative okay when you say it's too. Well, you mean you get hard and inappropriate things No, like I like it's just like like it just won't go away. Wow Well, dude, you should pop a blue chew and then really go super. Well, that's why I've never touched

I've never touched any any of those but you because I don't I feel like I'm gonna be the four-hour guy You know, like that's that's always but you know, like that's all right. I've had enough Bragging I am not I am not pleased to not Rogan if you're one of those guys But you guarantees that if your dick stays hard longer than four hours you get to do the Joe Rogan Bro, that's crazy, bro Yeah, we'll have to show him your dick you think about your dick being hard and it's like this is something that you know Your penis is like it goes into your body

You know because we always think about it's like it's this thing outside of your body But it goes into your body and it's like what's what's it fucking doing in there? Mm-hmm. You know, yep. Anyways So if you want to if you like the Joe Rogan, that's a very good point, Joe I I have often said that your penis is something that is inside your body if we had For all you wouldn't have to pay anything for Bluetooth. It would be sent to you directly to your house in discreet packaging for free That blows my fucking mind That's crazy. Yeah, so if you want to get your dick hard as fuck as Hard as Dylan's it only takes a few minutes to connect with a bluetooth.com affiliated physician

And if you qualify you get prescribed online quickly no in-person doctor visit no awkward conversation No waiting in line at a pharmacy none of that ships directly to your door in discreet packaging Achievables from Bluetooth were prescribed online by a doctor and made in the USA Bluetooth gives you confidence in bed every time. Yeah, you and your partner will love it But you wouldn't do it So here's a great deal for you guys visit bluetooth.com and get your first order free when you use promo code Come down to you mtw and just pay $5 shipping. That's B. L. You each chew.com promo code come down I was always wrong and I guess like so. What's the deal with the movie? When can we see it? When is it out?

So it's a killer reckons to comm formerly known as Coons Bandits of the night it was a jock electric boogaloo, but the reckons to calm that we have a Website that will have our tour dates me and Travis are taking on a road show to either comedy clubs or movie theaters Adam will be tweeting out all those links, but yeah Watch this space watch Adams Twitter. He'll be tweeting out watch the space live like yeah But the we're starting it in Columbus at studio 35 to see it theater But we'll be doing two shows in Brooklyn one at film nor which is on meseral Over here, and then we're doing a one at night. Hawk at in Prospect Park. That's red. That's cool

Oh the old night. Hawk the one that is pavilion. Yeah turned into night. Hawk. Yeah. Yeah, but they're much cheaper than night Hawk Williamsburg Because I've never been there. It's it's nice. It's way now. It's it's substantially nicer than the Williamsburg night. Hawk same idea Yeah, like table service drinks, but it's all new and updated. Oh, so it's it's nice. It's it's pretty reasonably priced, but the Yeah, don't give you head. You know, I really like I miss I want to like I've been to a couple of just old shitty movie theaters recently Like one's not even auditorium seating that flat shit. Oh, yeah Where it's like the fucking couple of us the ads before the movie or static images that are beyond like diner Lorenzo's fucking detail and

The movie theater and it's like they're great. Yeah, if I it's like cozy, it's like you're in bed bugs, but you don't care People who just you know, you they're talking you're talking to them. They're getting angry, you know, it's like it's great They're jacking off their masturbate You're like, are you a big fan of the Coons series? I was like, oh fuck I'm like, I'm sorry. Lewis Gomez dared me to say I Was Jake Gomez, who's my friend who's sitting somewhere in this theater. I can't tell

I went to see parasite in the theater like that in Portland. You saw it. It was good as hell. I love I want to see it So bad. It's so good They just followed Adam around with the camera. Yeah It's like Nick can't kill himself so I can keep I like I like making my own dashi at home. I Mean it because once you have if you have rice without dashi after having it with a dashi All you need is a combu and a bonita flick sorry, Adam. You can make it in 10 minutes Your breath is sighing is destroyed all of the mics

The lab mics have been breed. They're rusted from all of your breathy exact exasperations Well, they're stuck together because of the air The aired. What am I looking for? What's the vaporized? Are you still making shit Japanese shit? No, I haven't that's all Kind of when you're in a family of one you don't Cook for myself all the time when I was I make I make smaller meals in fact when I'm in a relationship I'm less inclined to cook because it's like, you know, they got to eat the shit and it's like, yeah, fuck Just fuck off. Fuck you. Just get the fuck out of my house

Fuck out, bitch Making macaroni make your mac and cheese my mac and cheese mac and cheese with hot sauce Beef in it, bitch. That's like my favorite meals. It's the best Yeah, with hot sauce and cheese with tuna and hot sauce. It's not bad. Spicy tuna. That sounds gross. That's good I actually made onigiri the other night. Well, it's like the cheese and the tunas Open my windows and be like just in case anybody was wondering what the smell is I'm making onigiri Just in case you were wondering

It's onigiri It's a Japanese meal. It's Japanese. You're not allowed to get mad at me It's like it's not delivery as DeGiorno series of commercials It's like what's that onigiri black guys like what the hell it's like no, it's onigiri. It's Japanese That's like on the bottom of the screen. No, it's onigiri He said onigiri Japanese guys just still pissed or the black guy. Yeah, whatever. You're just wearing a kimono Ultimate outfit is a Ronin kimono Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Chainmail. Yes. It's adventurers Panama, correct. Mm-hmm. Pipe correct kind of like a cultural mashup

Yeah, yeah, all the deadliest warriors the coolest Shoes a probably the gladiator. No, no, no the the the Mexican cartel Zeta boots Yeah Your weapon of choice there persuasion Coercion Waving your hands in front of dangerous motherfuckers. They're beating the bus and I don't pay and I look over to somebody I'm like, they think I'm retarded

That's beautiful brother, yeah The ultimate outfit absolutely beautiful some people are gonna show up to the live show now wearing that Oh, yeah, remember when you said it was the ultimate outfit. I'm like, no, I don't know Yeah, I really don't remember shit. I don't as gay as show comic conning the live show Oh, when I was a boy, and it was there was a fucking there was a bootleg comic con. I wrote the fan I wrote the elevator with a family of cosplayers and I just tell you it did not smell good Oh, there was like musty-ass pussy hole. Oh, like, yeah, I know family didn't the whole family. It's like the rooster-cats family Yes, it was them

There was really like a family of just fat ass sailor moons. Oh Oh, they were all sailor moons. That's awful to raise your kids though. It was weird, man I family was weird. It's like the how Renfest kids in high school smelled bad, too Yes, yeah, and they all had frizzy ass long-ass hair. Yeah, the men and the women I'm glad I don't smell because if I could I would You know, I like I would smell so fucking bad if it was possible for me to smell Mm-hmm. Damn. It's an automatic. Don't talk to me. Kinda. Yeah. Yeah, it's Like better than wearing headphones. Yeah, I've never worn deodorant and I wouldn't you've never worn deodorant

I mean, I've done once or twice, but there's no reason to I just don't 35 Yeah, no, I just don't I just don't you smell at all. No, I mean, I will if I like don't change my clothes and I like work for like three days Eventually, I'll smell like a but you have to like really get in there, but yeah, that's impressive I guess I'm just like chronically dehydrated. So I don't sweat really. Hmm. Wow. That's awesome. And then I like piss red No, they don't after not shaving for a couple days my not shaving first It's souring shaving your pussy. He doesn't do my balls

Look at my balls your balls smell worse like when you're in heat. Mm-hmm. Yeah, like I believe like summer There's nothing you can do about they don't smell bad though. I mean, they do smell. There's a smell though They smell like people are gonna call me a liar, but it's like freshly cut grass And I did call you a liar and I will Cattle corn and I stand by that I stand by I've made women try it and they're like, I guess you're right And then it's like I guess you're right now if you'll excuse me and I have to make dinner for myself You've had your meal

Now the feast of a thousand cultures tuna from Japan to Mexico macaroni from the continent and cheese as the African warriors would enjoy This is just wearing that outfit with your balls hanging out I was like, could you give me my clothes back? I'm like, mom, I'm gonna be late for work I need to make my Japanese Michael my tour of the world breakfast before going to game stop It's it's casual Wednesday. They said I could dress like this Damn Maybe I should that's what you thought about game stop

I thought about for a while, but at a grocery store so that I would get You just want more food specifically the deli section. You just want more food. Oh my god I'll do a little slices all over the butcher would be a butcher Get fucking fucking rib eyes and it'd be funny if you worked at a grocery store and got fired day one Because whoever hired you like you're like, can we take some of the meat? They're like, yeah, of course, you know, you have one. Yeah a little bit and then you're immediately eaten half the case You just thought there's a bite you wouldn't do it that you would just snack way too much You take one little piece and then maybe like another one 20 seconds later in your mind. You're doing it every 30 minutes

Like you know, we're gonna have a job 100% You're just like, oh, let me I'll just try this take a little yeah, I've never had a peppercorn beef. It's also Lido. Yeah Cheddar Sharp, let me see about unsharp. It didn't taste shit. Now I'll go back to the other way and see interesting intro very interesting line out the door I'm trying like without with my eyes closed to like match up every kind of cheese with what they gave me

We're I'm doing the Pepsi I mean some of the customers are doing the Pepsi taste challenge in the back No, I thought it'd be a fun thing for the customers if we did that the honey graham Well, I'm doing it first to get all the kinks out myself. That's I've been doing it I saw a 10 gram flavor called outdoor adventure yesterday and the bears got like a like a net and like a Lot like an Explorer outfit on he's like the but they're like butterflies and stuff and it's like this is just for eating inside Yeah, it gets you like oh, it's exercise. Oh Dick works flavor

Guess who doesn't have tits graham crackers Also, what does that taste like though? You're like, no I work in the deli Oh We kids the customers ask I want to know I need a wide breadth of knowledge Look, do you want me to be 100% committed to customer service or not because otherwise I'm gonna have to go through this store and have direct hand knowledge

Of the productel I just show up. I'm not even working. I'm just eating with a notebook. Pretty good. Yeah I'm from the newspaper. I'm doing a review. I'll take it easy. I'm gonna sleep here tonight Yeah Just take boxes with me I gotta do a fight with my mom Dominoes, let me do take home pizzas. So I'm gonna take home some of the cash right So have you ever had a fantasy of

Yes, being locked in a supermarket overnight not a supermarket like a night at the museum situation a restaurant a Restaurant now we're talking. Yeah, I get all night to whip up all night. You have a sleeping bag Now you're cooking with gas Fucking rock like a grocery store has like everything a restaurant has no they don't have like the burners and shit They don't have like this. I've needs an industrial kitchen. Okay, absolutely like a full commercial kitchen for you And yeah, yeah, you enjoy an evening. Of course Yeah, you want me to get some locks for delis that yeah, you know, they got some sort of true That's true. Like I'm talking about like a grocery store that has like a deli section. No, you're right about that

They cook the car in the back Yeah, where are they in the back of a restaurant? We got to go to Wegman sometime Like this is good. See if it's good Well, they just opened it up in Brooklyn, you know, everybody's shitting their pants over Wegman's and it's like what do they got milk? I hear it's not that it is just a wow grapes. Well, it's just that good But the thing is it's not going to be good in New York because you know, they don't have the real estate Like what makes Wegman's crazy in like fucking Owings Mills, Maryland is that they have like, you know

The same amount of square footage is an entire mall. Oh, it's huge. It's in the Navy Yard Really? It's like by the like production studios and stuff. It's interesting. Like, yeah, do they have that big? What happened to the Navy? They were just like, yeah, we don't give a shit. We give up on Brooklyn, New York They're like, we're going to Virginia. Brooklyn is gay. The cost of staying there, I assume. Yeah, it's the federal government. The government can do whatever they want. Yeah, they probably make more money off the land not having the military. I do like that they tighten it. The military is just an expense. But how much could they possibly be making? Well, I mean, we know they're spending a lot. Yeah. Oh wait, the Navy isn't there anymore. That's why they call it that. Yeah, it was once a Navy. Yeah, they turned all the armories into homeless shelters. They went over on fucking Atlantic and Bedford.

They look so cool from the outside. Yeah, they look like castles. And yeah, just a bum coming out of there like a king. A good day to you, sirs. A good day to nary a land. I seem to fix and to shoot some dope into my scepter if you catch my drift. Damn. I mean my penis. I mean, I'm going to shoot dope into my dick. That would hurt, wouldn't it? There's a vein on the top. Dude. I imagine it'd be very sensitive. The first time you use that dick vein for heroin, though, must be awesome. Yeah. But then you ruin your cock. But that one time. Would you ruin it? I think so. I mean, you don't ruin your arm if you shoot one time. Like you might have track marks. Yeah, but you ruin the beautiful aesthetic value. Yeah, you shoot up enough you fucking, you know, your vein can only take so much stress before it collapses. Oh my God. So then you could imagine that. I couldn't imagine. Yeah. That's funny. I had friends that were junkies and like after a couple years, their arms, they'd get like you get like a Dima in their arms and then they just look like like cookie monster.

They have a very big arms that hang forward. Damn. Yeah. They're just like these big like monster paws. So I think it looks kind of cool. No, dude. I don't want to think of my cock. I want my cock to spring back into action when it's getting sucked. Mm hmm. Well, maybe just a little heroin and then a tiny little bit of blue chew. Yeah. We'll balance it out. You know, that's true. A speedball. That's my kind of speedball. Because everyone in blue chew a cock speedball. Mm hmm. A speedy cock. Well, I'll tell you what, if you want to buy heroin, you're going to need money. Mm hmm. That's right. What are you going to do? Earn it at a job like a bitch? No, you're going to keep it in a wallet. Oh, okay. All right. That one. Yeah. There's a special type of wallet you can get that's just for shooting heroin at the tip of your into the ridge. The ridge wallet is specially designed for guys that love banging dope right in their right into their for their foreskin scar.

Yep. Uh huh. Yeah. Ooh, that's right. You guys have scarred up cocks. Yeah. I wouldn't say it's a scar. Yeah, it is. It's disgusting. It's disgusting, Adam. I regroup my foreskin. So me and Stover friends. I love that. We're good. Welcome, brother. Yeah. Welcome to the team. Yeah, I regroup. I had I had my penis. I had it about an inch removed from the middle. The head could talk in the ground. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it's actually does your scar on your dick look like bite marks also? No, you got your cock bitten by rabbi. The fuck are you talking about? Yeah, for sure. You guys did your model did it with his teeth. No, you don't do jokes. No, we do. We do the jokes. So how about you ask a real man that I didn't know it's because no, dude, you didn't even know that. I wasn't on. You know that my forcing wasn't bitten off yet. Yeah, that's why you're not allowed to use the ridge wall. It's not true. I have one and it changed my life. You have to use the old wallet. Everybody's grandma or ex-girlfriends give them. That's right. Remember that your dumb bitch ex-girlfriend that just gets you shit from the girls always do that.

They're like, let's exchange gifts. And it's like, I don't want to exchange a fucking gift. Fine. I'll give you a gift. And then you spend all day like getting a nice gift. And then it's just some shit from the like, what are those like rotundas? The things that just like like sunglass. Like a postcard. Paracels. Yeah. Paracels. You know, it's like, oh, thanks. Keychain Swiss army knife. You fucking bitch. That's why you don't get any of this fucking bitch. You're a casserole man. You're not getting any of this. Why don't you give me something other than an Eddie Bauer spatula? Let's go snip these grassy balls, bitch. The smell of labor. I've had exes get me like little gifts a lot. You have exes by you guess? No, no, no, like when we were dating. I'm talking about ex-girlfriends by the big old leather wall. You probably have a leather wall, right? You feel like an idiot, huh? Hold on, let's look at this thing. Wow, look at this fucking stupid. Doesn't your ass go numb? It's like a Costanza. I tell you what, and you hate it, don't you? I mean, yeah, it's too big. How we got this fucking sponsor. How we got the sponsors. I had one of those and I just wanted another wallet because like it got too loose and the credit cards are falling out.

That's what's happening to my right now. This company sponsored the podcast. It showed up and I'm like, this is the gay thing I've ever seen. I was like, this is the stupidest fucking wallet I've ever seen. It comes with a screwdriver in case you want to add your own attachments, which I guess if you're like, I don't know, you pretend you're in the military. I was like, alright, I'm going to use this thing for a week and then just go buy a leather wallet. For clubbing. And now it's like, this is great. This is the best wallet I've ever had. Honestly. Yeah, I believe you. It looks a little rigid. Do you stick that in your back pocket? No, it's a front pocket wallet. Just push your shit out and it's like, you know, like credit card is, that's the one I use all the time. So that's right there. It's in the front. I want my ID. It's like right there. It's very easy to get to. It doesn't look like it would be at first, but you get used to it. And then it's like, yeah, I don't want another wallet now. I also don't have a bunch of fucking receipts and bullshit, you know, floating around. Yeah, I mean, yeah, absolutely. My problem is I always, I'm going to feel weird not having anything in my back pocket. Yeah, well, you can put it in your back pocket.

And also you have like so many sandwich club cards and shit in there that like, you know, you'll never use again. Only a few. Well, try it out. They also got fucking phone cases and shit. We'll give you one in a while. No, I mean, this is fast forward. I got that $2,000. I already took the carbon fiber one for myself. Military grade. As an import tuner, you know, I need carbon fiber gear, so I'm faster behind the wheel. When you're talking about, when I'm shaving fucking microsecond stuff my quarter mile is a drag, professional drag.

And you have your wallet in your pocket. Every pound I throw up before I get in that car and I get myself bled off revolutionary war reenactivist. I have all the blood just all over your ass going that car fucking 86 pounds. And we're talking no bone marrow. Yeah. And when that when that like when that clock stops at the end and it says 16.97 seconds, you know, I got the best fucking Toyota Tercel in the business. They say why? It's because this is carbon fiber. They got aluminum. They got fucking steel. And then I don't know. I need some other fucking materials or other popular metal. Yeah. Titanium tungsten carbide titanium carbon fiber and aluminum.

Oh yeah. That's light bulbs. They got light bulbs. It's like that dark metal. I don't know. I think you see these a lot on that subreddit every day carry. Oh yeah. Very funny because it's always like a wallet like this and then a gun. And then like Ernest Hemingway's stopwatch. And it's like, what are you doing? Yeah. Where are you going? I hope someone I hope it would be that would be justified if like every couple of days, somebody was like, oh, hey guys, Bert was shot to death.

Checking in his manager of the radio shack. Another every day carry guy came in and beat him in a duel. Is every day carry motherfuckers that have guns? It's people that yeah, they would have like carry. It's like they're they're they're loadout. They're gear for the day. But anytime the word carry is thrown in there, it's usually has to do with guns. I would imagine. We're all packing. We don't talk about this on the show. Yeah, but we all have a gun gun. We always had a gun under my gun for the last three years. That would be so awesome if you just brandished it one time.

There was one day where I just put a gun in his mouth. Take it anymore. One of the episodes we deleted was you did that guy. He got kind of weird. The podcast could be late. It's my fault. I don't like it as a joke. I bought a handgun when I was 17. Whoa. And I got pulled over on my way home after. Really?

Yeah. Cop cop. Like I was speeding. Why? Because you had that new gun confidence. You couldn't wait. Yeah, cop got out of the car, gun drawn, pulled me out. I thought like he knew something that I didn't know. You know, like he for speeding.

He just flipped. No, just some fucking suburban police officer that just flipped out on me. But I had like a like I'm 17. Oh, so you bought it. And you pulled out his ridge wall in the cop. I didn't realize your military first. No tickets for you, sir. I'm on my way to the black elementary school. He's like, oh, you got a guy here to join me.

I could use some backup. I hear somebody owes a little school lunch debt. And then we flew the helicopter directly over to me. We took a fucking bear cat tank. We rolled through the fucking gymnasium. Anyways, there's a lifetime warranty if you love it and free returns if you don't on the ridge wall. It comes in titanium. I already said that.

So get 10% off today with free worldwide shipping and returns. So we're talking America, India, fucking Uzbek, Kazakhstan, the country of Africa, everywhere except Israel, which I'm sure they ship to. But if you're listening and you're in Israel, please just, you know, maybe go find them. Use a different code. Look at the analytics. You guys get enough deals. Why can't they pay full price for once in your life?

Please for once. Just see what it's like. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. So everyone except people in Israel right now, listen, it's ridge.com slash come town. P.S. don't tell anyone in Israel. Don't tell the Israeli listeners. Use come code come town.

C-U-M-T-O-W-N. Link in the description. ridge.com slash come town or use promo code come town. And we're back. And we're back. Why didn't you buy a handgun? I was 17. You were in Ohio.

Yeah, there was a thing called, there was a, there was a, there was like a swapper's day type field market thing or like flea market thing that you can go to and they just basically you walk up and you pointed a handgun. They're like 150. Yeah. It's crazy how cheap guns are. And I looked like a child at 17. Yeah.

Like I was not. They're like, boom, you just walk in, walk out gun by gun, walk over to the next booth by a pack of ammo. I leave. There's no name. No background check. Nothing. Is there somebody?

No, I just, my friends had a bunch of property and we would do like target shooting and stuff like that. And so for fun. And I just wanted to own a gun because I could. I mean, it's like, I mean, like, I, I'm pretty much, I can argue for always committing a crime without consequence, like, especially when I was younger. Yeah. Yeah.

Like if you were like, you can rob a bank, but you're not going to go to jail. I'm like, I'm going to do it. Yeah. Of course. Like that, like, you know, like that idea. So just buying a gun is, I agree with that. I shouldn't be doing this, but I can. So I'm going to.

And the cop did not find out you had a gun. No. My brother was, my brother was riding shotgun 14, holding it in his hand when we got pulled over looking at it. And he like just stuck it under his seat, but the cop pulled his gun on me, pulled us out. I was just going to 82 and a 65. Yeah.

I didn't see you buy the gun and then no, no, I bought the gun like 15 miles away and he just had, he, he, he, he like radar'd me and pulled the gun was in a paper bag too. So it was in a, it was in a, it was in a box sort of more like an iPhone. Oh yeah. Like who are you like would lift up, like lift up a box and sell a little like cushion thing around it. And it was like a little pp seven looking like James bombs, very like eight in the clip little gun.

Yeah. But I like that. A ladies. Yeah. A ladies. Yeah. No, they didn't know I had the gun. Yeah.

I guess. There's no reason to search the car or whatever. I was going, I was 17. There's no way you could be like a black dude and they wouldn't search the car. Oh yeah. I mean, he pulled the gun on me. That's I had to get out of the car. I was like, hands up, walk, walk, every white guy's the story is like, yeah, I was drunk

and I was doing 200 and I told him I was late to my grandmother's funeral. I couldn't find my clothes before I left the house, so I just taped a bunch of guns to my body. I was wearing my gun suit and yeah, the cop, I guess we were both named Bryce. So he was like, yeah, you can go. Yeah. Yeah. I got it, man.

Relax. Yeah. Adam's panicking because the early bird special at what are you going on? We have a show. We host this show like a weekly, a weekly, like, stand up show. Yeah. Nice. Awesome.

But also that do it. I don't know if you're doing stand up or not. But also to Nick's point, there is a the early bird special at Bergen bagels. Adam's got to get over Bergen bagels. He has to get to Bergen, Bergen bagels. Bergen bagels. Yeah. They're just shitting themselves.

Yeah. I'd never want to go there. It sounds so scary. Yeah. There's a guy apparently who just goes, he's just in the bathroom all night next to the urinals with his mouth open, the human urinal. That's you. You wait.

You just described what you do. I've never been to Bergen, but that's probably, you know, when in Rome, you got to piss in that guy's mouth. Yeah. Would you piss in his mouth? I mean, just for the experience, just if he's getting horny and you piss in his mouth. Was that gate?

Did you have he didn't touch my dick? He didn't touch my dick. It's all about touching. No, it's not touching. Just agree. You said you would on the record. On the record. All right.

Fine. I'll piss in his mouth and I'll put it on the Patreon for the fans. That would be cool. Yeah. Can you show pornography on Patreon? I assume it's like a lot of like cam girls and stuff of no, they got kicked off. Yeah. You got it.

It's got to be like erotic art or something. Well, I'm launching a, I'm launching an only fans pretty soon. Yeah. I thought about that, but it was only going to be pictures of my balls. See how much. I used to pay attention to that shit, but it's like, well, what'll happen when we get kicked off? Yeah.

Who gives a shit? I already bought Luigi's mansion. Yeah. Reach the end. The journey. Can you? I made $60 to purchase the video game. There's nothing you can take from me.

The man is bulletproof. Folks. The fucking Nintendo comes are like, we are taking the game back. Yeah. That's not what I sound like. Yes, it is more sonorous. You're right. It's like this.

No. No. No. Silence. I sound like this, but I'm also gay for the record. You goddamn Japanese. Prusa. Give us the game back over my gay, dead penis.

Give it. Give it back. Give it. Give it. Give it. Give us the game. Yeah. They talk pretty stupid.

Yeah. Pretty dumb way to talk. Pretty dumb and dumb. I like it. If you think about it, when I say it, it's stupid people. When I say it, it's out of respect. I think they're, I think they're incredibly smart. Yeah.

I say it like a Dominican lady. Like you stupid. Oh, right. Oh, like flirty. You stupid. Like you're trying to have sex with them. I love that. You stupid.

No one's ever said that to you. Yeah. A lot of the time Spanish ladies are calling me stupid. They're not. Yes they are. Did they this weekend in Miami? Yeah. Constantly.

No. Yeah. I went to a mega club. Yeah. In Miami and a bunch of women were calling me stupid. Stupid. Yeah. Telling me that, that I had one of the nicest bodies in Miami.

Really? Yeah. You got one of like. You guys just had good body. My friend met a couple of chongas and we asked them if they wanted a chicken fight on our shoulders. Right. Of course.

As the sun was going down. You can feel their pussies on your neck. Yeah. And that's I'm going to count that as sex. That's if. Yeah. That's sex. If she wrote, if she has like readjust and you kind of can feel the different parts

of her pussy. Mm hmm. If it, if you can't feel which part of her pussy is on your neck, mm hmm. It doesn't count. Well, that's honestly why I don't do a lot of neck exercises is so that I can fit my supple, my thin neck between the pussy lips of a of a chonga down on South Beach. What's chonga? Chonga is like a ratchet Cuban girl.

I'm trying to get sucked off by a chonga by a chonga. Mm hmm. Yeah. I'm trying to have a fucking, I'm trying to have some fucking. What the fuck do they eat? No, they, they eat, uh, I'll tell you, I'm going to start calling the police on the show. They're nice.

Nick's a principal man. What are they doing? He believes in the rule of law. He just, he believes in regulation above all. Oh, no permits. Yeah. It's not true. That's faster.

Fucking whores. Fucking slay. Mm hmm. I don't give it. I mean, what are the taxes on the fucking business? Uh, the three dollars a year. I mean, yeah, in general, pay your fucking taxes. That's the thing.

Like sex workers do that shit. Dude, I don't get why sex workers are all communists now because from my experience, they're pretty libertarian. Oh, yeah. They like, hey, paying their taxes. What? That is what I said. Well, I mean, they're trying to brand as, as communists or socialists now.

Mm hmm. I was saying, you shouldn't be, you shouldn't be able to call yourself a sex worker unless you've been arrested for prostitution. What? I don't know. But what do you mean? Why? Because it's like, that would be a sex criminal.

Yeah. Yeah. No. You're not a drug being a sex criminal. Would you know that if you hadn't been arrested, I think, uh, yeah, I mean, yeah, calling if you're like, yeah, I'm a hustler or whatever, and you're like just some fucking like white guy that sells weed. There was friends.

Occasionally, it's like, yeah, you're not really technically Bill Clinton, not a pedophile because he was never arrested for it. Um, well, no, I mean, it works to the opposite for pedophiles. Why? If you have been arrested for it, you're a dog shit pedophile. Yeah. You're trash. Yeah.

And I've been imprisoned. Yeah. Also, I don't think Bill Gates would call himself a pedophile. It should be quite clear this way. I don't think he's going there saying I am a pedophile. I don't care that I haven't been arrested. I'm a fucking pedophile. I'm proud, pedophile pride, baby.

Shout out to Billy Gates, Billy the kid, heritage, not hate, heritage, not hate, suckin' dick, or whatever. Things what week is today? Oh, this weekend guys, listen, I'm going to need you to come buy tickets to see me me in Atlanta on the 23rd, Saturday, hot Atlanta brother and Nashville on the 24th by the motherfucking tickets, baby. And then also Baltimore on Thanksgiving weekend, the 29th and the 30th and then Houston on the 13th. And I'm trying to add some shit in Texas, but I don't know if it's also funny moms is we have one next week and then I'm thinking we'll probably

just be doing two next month. Oh yeah. Philadelphia on 12, 12, Cleveland, January 4th, doing San Francisco the 6th of January. Oh, for the pride. These aren't real guys. December. There's a viral marketing campaign. You got to follow them. You got to check the target website. He's three o'clock in the morning trying to disorient. Yeah. Are you touring with us? Hopefully not. Hopefully never. Yeah. Yeah. That would honestly be awesome if we never did one again. Yeah. I'm a clothier now. I've really restocked the store and everything sold out almost immediately. Beautiful. I have some things left. If you want to go to come dot town and pick up a shirt, maybe a holiday gift for an estranged lover. Oh, and

by the way, Stobby baby counters are on the way for 20 20. We're doing the final mock ups. We're getting there. Just ready. They're just democratic nominees with your body. Absolutely. I'm doing a lot of fucking Kamala Harris stuff. Man, I'm so happy that she's just losing. She's just suck. She tried to do the Hillary shit. Well, she hired all the Hillary's like in it like the big losers immediately after gloating that she's like I'm a front runner candidate to like about Tulsi Gabbard calling around for putting black people in jail. It's like first of all, I'm a front runner candidate immediately polling and fucking three one percent. Yeah. They put out a poll that said Pete was like way

ahead and in Iowa. That. But did you see that half of the half of the respondents were republicans? Yeah, that was so it's not a it's not prospective voters. Data is like that fucking that thing about fuck him about South Carolina, like 400 black fucking South Carolina. I think it's weird. They didn't exist to them. We're white. Forty two percent white people and then most of them like the bigger names on there were like the media asked and they're like, I never endorsed him. Yeah, I never did. And they sent out an email to everybody on that list saying like, you can choose to opt out of saying you endorsed Pete by. Oh, it's like if you don't respond, you endorse which is some Lionel Hut shit.

That's crazy. No, money down. That's Dan nine and shit. That's like sociopathic. Yeah, he bought Bernie Sanders dot com, but with the fucking of the one of the eyes is an L. Yeah. Then I did that to what I want to buy in the in Russell Peters dot com redirected to Dan nine and as I'm looking for the Indian version of Russell. Oh, mate, I'm fucking gay, mate. I'm gay, mate. All right, folks, that's the show. That's gonna do it. Thanks so much for coming. We'll plug the live dates when you have them. Do you have any live dates actually lined up? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, throw them out there again. Yeah. November 29th. We start in Columbus. Then we go to Pittsburgh. And then we're trying to book Philly in DC

right now still finding a theater. We're in Brooklyn 12 412 5, Burlington, Vermont 12 6 Montreal 12 7 Chicago 12 10. Hell yeah. And then we're like Asheville Knoxville and Nashville like Vils baby 18 1920. Hell yeah. But there's killer at Coons dot com. Ron Jeremy's in the movie. Hell yeah. A bunch of other great comedians. Do you see his cock? You don't know. No, he probably cost a lot of money to get him to flash cock. I assume he's real cheap to not do flash. He's real cheap to not. We have him playing a general in like the bunker room. And there's a bunch of really great comedians that have like Nick Vatterot James. We have a lot of great cameos throughout a lot of good actors that did it. It's a fun

like there's great. It's a big like comedy. It's a big comedy. Those guys are hilarious all. Yeah, thanks. Fuck with all those guys. Yeah, they're all good people. They all worked for nothing to help us make it happen. And it's a it's a fun movie that's like completely you know the worst movie ever. We'll be in the third one man. As long as we're in there's there. There are there are some. Yeah, nice. Yeah, we had to make sure it's great. It's rated R. Nice. Next time and T 17. We'll go. We're doing it. It'll be alien three parody next time so we can we can go a little weirder in space. I love it. How about NC eight where it's like there's sex in it, but we want nine year olds to see it. Yeah, it's just

effort. Yeah. Yeah, we can. I came up moan writing for them. Hard core pornography video me expose showing my penis NC five. I don't want any of five year olds seeing those fucking horny six year olds and see five to nine. I'd say. All right, well with that idea, everyone, we're going to leave you. So think about that for a while. What if it's NC nine or eight years like on. The better. Of the ten thank you 10 ÄÔÔØØÔØÕÆÔÀÔÕáÀÕÔÔÔÔÔÔÔØÔØÔÔæÔÔØØÔÔØÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔÔ�