The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 199 – Lockdown Raw

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

Lawd he done be raping people in quarantine. So this was supposed to be the Charlie Rose episode but I guess that file got corrupted somehow and is gone. This was supposed to be the premium and now you'll never ever know about the charlie rose episode, w

Now we're recording now we're recording and welcome to the premium episode for the week We're probably deep in quarantine now. Yeah, that's a fun thing because we thought we were recording We thought we were gonna have to pre-record episodes because I was going on the road and I was going on the road I was on the road and then we were going to Australia Yeah, Adam certainly wasn't on the road, but he had a gay sex festival and that's right No, I was going on the road, but it was not going on the road at all I was going on the road. He's gonna hang out at Spencer's gifts and giggle Yeah, he was going on a little giggling tour his favorite kind of life is a highway kind of soul sir

He was going out to cable Who's also another person that's ugly, but in a way that doesn't do anything for them in Brooklyn Anywhere else in America would be equally hideous Yeah, to him and then giggle at them from his his his vaping throne Mm-hmm. What are you talking about to laugh as to fuck just to laugh to laugh at them. You're a giggler Like giggle at people. I like to giggle. I can't a lot of characters. You don't giggle at people. There's a difference It's true giggling is a mentality. I mean you physically. Yes, literally. I am a giggler all the time The giggler, you know what I'm talking about. I do know. Yeah, that's Adam getting in trouble for filming that that that

The stewardess who was trying to fix the thing that I That was funny that was not me who was filming my ex-girlfriend Let's let's cope. Let's have a nice couples moment by giggling together. We were not giggling Got yelled at strong black woman train. No, she got yelled at Amala Harris do her job of fixing You're putting something on me the power of my wife. That's true. I yeah, I will say you're putting something on me that I Absolutely, 100% did not do Adam is better than that behavior That a dumb bitch, but that but that was the basis that someone that yeah Oh, maybe that's why she was like, oh my god, she was like you like giggling also

You like mocking you're all those fortunate. You're also a giggler There were other bases of that relationship. That's gay. Go anyway. Anyway, we do not you were gonna You were gonna go have gay sex and giggle after you were gonna have gay sex and giggle Yes, well, we were on the road. Yeah, we were on the road doing comedy Sweatin working out. Yeah, wipe my brow meaning people to put in the hard work Put in the heart of early and couldn't walking through an hour And then just looking around and seeing who's desperate enough to fuck me that already the end of the tour with Chicago I was already looking forward to going to the original house of pancakes

They have a couple blocks away from Chicago rules, dude. Uh, Chicago's fine I like it considering that it's in the middle of the Midwest, but that's what that neighborhood where what what do you call it? Is it in it's kind of whack Boston Wrigley? Oh, that was the old one. Oh, they're they moved it to fuck. What's it called fucker park wicker park? Yeah, I think so or Southside, Boston. Something else that's around outside Boston, Chicago. Yeah, entry Chicago. Yeah, Southeast Chicago Rocksbury, Chicago. Yeah, the town Chicago over here. I haven't deep dish pizza kid. Charles Town, Chicago. I'm having I'm having a fucking The Italian beef kid. Yeah Nothing. I love more than fucking

Snowstorms the cut the dub bears dub bears dub bears. Yeah, the bears The South African diamond company. Yeah, the bears the bears. Yeah, not not kid. I'm talking about the bears I have nothing bad to say about Chicago What are some other kinds of Chicago things that can be said in a Boston accent. Yeah You know Chicago doesn't have anything they got they got deep dish. No, so that's the thing This is why the Midwest sucks the bean. What if we have our own version of something that hold on other place already did I will say this

They have there is a pan style Chicago pizza. Yeah, that's what yeah, they're deep dish pizza No, the deep dishes flat flat is crispy and good and I will fucking give them And you can have it with your hands. That shit is delicious. But Chicago style pizza is good. It's not deep This sucks. Chicago style is good deep dish deep dish is fine. I think it's pretty good But it's not pizza. It's a different thing. It's not as good, but I will I will go so far as to say that chewy You know fried oily shit. They got crushed shit that they got. I even prefer it to fucking New York pizza flat pizza Damn, it's that good. That was the the registers you hit on that I love it. I don't even believe the words coming out. I believe it 100 you know, you know

This is the closest you've ever walked to being alienated by your community. I'm absolutely not in fact What I'm doing standing up for my community that's right because I'm not afraid of your voice because you're going out on a Little bit. I am not imagining all the other fat guys. I am not afraid of stave. Listen, they're just the first of all He's out the stave. He's fucking out. They put on their stave out. Yeah, they put on their Hawaiian shirts Staves out he's turned his back on the community First of all, that's how out of touch you are with the fucking community because what I just remember the community exactly exactly even though you claim You know, it used to be emotional membership or some sort of some sort of connection to it from

No, let me let me explain this Let me explain this and here's where the community can never relate to my position Because and I've said as much before but as a personal a person has been fat your entire life Yes, you are in a persistent state of ongoing trauma Okay, so you don't understand what the other side of it is like right you have nothing to contrast it to so imagine you're being raped Mm-hmm your entire life. That's a bad. You're like, what's going on? I don't know So you would say being overweight is the equivalent to constantly being raped your whole life. Yes, yes You're in it. It's an ongoing state of developing trauma

So you never have time to move to have a period of fugue where you don't understand the damage It's been done to you and then come out on the other end when you're like, oh fuck my life was awful, right? Well, anyway, look that point aside what I'm telling you is The community will back me fully and 100 I'm sure some of them will when I say I'm just saying that it was you know It was a hot take that a pant. No, it's not a hot take that I heard it in your voice It's not a hot take. Yeah, why do you go up? You did a Jewish style first of all that I'm doing it. I'll send what I'm doing is I'm trying to get a little a little Variety you did it the way the what the the register that you took in the liver crescendos

Deliberate or send those the register arpeggiating my takes the registry you took in that set in that sentence was you know Jeffrey Epstein was having sex with girls Over 13 years old. That's not a bad first of all. I got nothing. I got nothing like they were babies I got nothing against that way the that style of speaking. Yeah, what I have a problem with is the content So what I have done is taken the abhorrent content the Jews? Everywhere the rounds everywhere use rabbi saying their sermons and I've used it and I've used it for good Okay, to say that that crispy fucking doughy Pizza crust is better than flat New York shit. That's what I'm saying. They're both good

But I like a chewier. It's like a little sandwich and as a fat man I know fat men everywhere will have my back and I'm not scared of that I'm not scared of losing my support Amongst my boys. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm a I'm a I'm a beacon of light for my fat brethren out there You too can get pussy if you just buy track suits and make a lot of money That's the difference become famous. That's what put set it over the edge for you You know and legitimately have a good personality personality a fun guy to be around that's actually what it is I'll give you that be a fun guy to be around

Be a good hang and also you got pussy before that's my enduring skill is being a good hang And getting my my little nuts sucked That's your skill. It is a skill. I get my nuts suck great. It's like good at Chinese checkers. I Am great at getting my nuts suck. I play Chinese checkers. He has Nick in Canada. He kicked my ass Is that a real game? He's very good at Chinese checkers. Yeah, I gotta say is there rules and shit to it No, there's no rules. No, it's just right. It's just a Jewish star with little balls It's actually German too. It's not Chinese. Wow, but they just called it Chinese checkers. I did not know I was laughing today It's how funny is it that fucking Chinese people immigrated to the US?

And they were like, yeah, we're going to opa restaurant and make a food called poo poo platter Yeah, that is Fucking hell yeah, that sounds awesome. And you know what poo poo platters are good. Did you hear about how corona started? Is that real the bat shitting on the armadillo? That they have something called wet markets, which sounds absolutely Disgusting. Yeah, we're bats shit all over the food where they had a bat shit on an armadillo And then someone ate the armadillo and then got was patient zero of the corona crisis real that is what I've heard What's what's what's maybe I'm propagating something. That's just

What's worse the dredges of of like urban China and her cuisine and or just the things that girls do in college Well when they go wild I'm gonna try and shove an entire desktop computer in my pussy. There was a there was a scandal We're gonna go to the library Celine's putting all of the computers in her pussy to steal them She just wakes up. There's a bunch of wires leading out Bagging in a library. Oh Yeah, somebody stole the computers. Yeah, there's a bunch of Dells missing There's a bunch of Dells, but the wires are going into your pussy and we're just wondering if we followed this long ass

Wire from the library directly to your pussy. I don't even know what happened. There was a scandal Am I well, there's a tick-tock video of you wooing and shoving all the computers? You're on tick-tock wooing. Yep, you're on tick-tock doing the renegade and putting Dells in your pussy Yeah, I mean you say that about a bat shitting on an armadillo and some guy eating it and you just hear like fucking LMFAO playing You put him in like I'm sexy and I know it I'm shocked that it wasn't one of those mukbang girls that was patient zero Putting the live octopus in her mouth and shit. I think that's a is that Chinese or in Japanese?

Oh, no mukbang is those eating accounts. Those are Korean. Yeah. Yeah, you fucking uncultured. Those girls are those girls are pretty hot Oh, yeah, I got a live little calamari. They can put I get I can imagine that's something they get see go and see an Acute girl eating it in an order amount of food. Honestly until the point where they're eating like live eels and shit Yes, but seeing a bitch eat a bunch of noodles and shit and dreaming of that being my wife My hot little wife that I can eat the same amount as and we can fuck after well I guess before you want to fuck before eating all that That's not gonna be honest. It sucks that you can't have a decadent meal and then be at your peak sexually

It should you should be able to make that's dude That's the rule like if you're going out for Valentine's Day dinner, you got to hit it first I know, but that's a fucking shame Also, I said as an aside Valentine's Day dinner never go out on that. It's a fucking scam. I love that move in a relationship Like being like why I should probably eat something first. I don't feel well and then eat something be like why I ate too much To avoid sex with the person. Oh, yeah See for me, it's always like I'm trying to bust this little no, I know I guess I got to play video games And I guess you need to be quiet

You need I need utmost silence because you're ruining the immersion Yes, and I will be playing all the the the bullets will be fired at the 1080p surround But I need you to be you need to shut the fuck up you Damn, I need I'm gonna go to Chinatown get a little massage I got one recently. I didn't like it. I only go when my shit's fucked up because you go when you're you're something hurts And then they can fix it. Yeah, you go when you're fine, then they'll hurt something. That's true He did hurt my shoulders. Yeah, but my back my love my back is fucked up Because I had to go get I went to go get my cuz I you know the boy needs special insoles now

It's for my feet to work because of tearing to work. Yes because of tearing tearing my Your petal your planner. Yeah, so I gave I fucking gave my podiatrist the old ones To fix and then make new ones and now I'm just go walking around with store-bought Insoles like a fucking show and I think it's fucked up my whole alignment I just remember being in a Chinese restaurant with my friend Brendan like 15 years ago And he he just started like cracking up and he doesn't laugh very often And then he just points at some old Chinese guy that had like a like a medically short leg Mm-hmm, and the guy had a shoe like a shoe that he probably made himself

Giant wooden shoe just like painted Matt black. That's awesome God damn I forgot about that specific just a disabled man. Yeah I That he would make his own shoe, that's a great. That's a nice aspect of that whole story. Mm-hmm. Oh Fuck yeah, I got dumplings and fucking gelato the other day, dude Just I'm begging the coronavirus. I'm just trying me motherfucker Mm-hmm. I'm going to die the hormonal virus Do you get tits? Yeah, they get even bigger

That would be awesome big old pair of British titties if there was a fucking disease that made women's breasts large But killed like mm-hmm a quarter of the men. I would do it. Yeah. Yeah, what do you mean? You would do I would do the disease. I wouldn't allow that to happen. Oh, yeah, you would think it's good I would think it's good. Yeah. Well, I think yes, of course if there were fewer guys fewer guys in bigger titties Wow, oh my god That is a you imagine what a what a hyper and it only kills man over six three With hair now we're talking the playboy equation the play the playboy virus. Yeah, that's the movie. Oh That's who's called the playboy the playboy

content can True reaction the playboy reaction. Yeah With the Keanu Reeves and Russell Crowe Mm-hmm. That's a nice twosome. I'm fucked with both those guys dude. I started watching gladiate gladiator came on So fucking classic, bro Movie rocks. I tried to watch it recently It wasn't like shut the fuck up. No, it's a fuck up. Damn. What a little Now, okay, I get called that I got hot takes because I said fucking

It's not it was one of my favorite movies as a kid. No, here's the thing Adam constantly as hot takes That's true. It's a rarity for you to especially to red line on the take halfway through saying it I didn't well first of all red lining is not that does not what that means Redlining in the sense that you're like fucking peeking out and I didn't red line it Yeah, you're like actually even the deep dish. I did not run the tape back. I said it with complete authority Run the tape back. I said it with complete authority. I don't mean red lining in the sense of like a bank. I mean, yeah, you know Yeah, like you're you're you're clipping. I wasn't clipping at all You're going outside the bounds of your your comfort. I was not clipping. I was not clipping and I don't do takes

I shave the truth. Mm-hmm. That's the difference That is not at all what I sound like I did not Pig First of all, I tell you you have that motherfucking pizza and you tell me it's not better than fucking flat New York pizza I like all kinds of pizza. I'm what you call a pizza diplomat. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Spamoni Gardens is I won't be I won't grandmas I am not grandmas. Well, okay. Thank you. Here we go. This is a chewier more fucking oily grandmas Have you been to Spamoni Gardens? I've had a slight stop. Here's the thing. I trust you that it's good You're probably right. Thank you. I'm saying in your presentation of the take. No, you became worried

I was not worried that you might violate the rules of the community. I was not first of all I am never worried. I'm a guy. I'm never worried about the community usually and that's why it's it's worth pointing out the times when you are I'm never worried. I don't care especially not with the community. That's not true, dude You saw yourself front page on the newsletter. I'm not all fat boys monthly stop Fucked up. No, stop done. Fucked up. First of all an op-ed written in the newsletter by Louie Andrews by Mike by Mike fuck this guy by Michael barbecue No, dude, if first if the if the mainstream fat media turned against me

I would I would fucking spurn them. I would go outside of them. You're watching big boy My name is sweet baby, Ray My guest tonight is the esteemed yellow M&M And Bob's big boy. I'm way here discussing stop roses recent Operabate, what is the word? Approbrium, I don't know. I don't fucking know. Is that a word? Approbrium? What does it mean?

Approbrium? I don't know. It's it's felt like the funniest word to say I can't remember I like I'm just you know what I'm going on Go ahead man. Take it for a walk Oh, here's the thing dude. Here's what I'll say if the fat community ever turned against me I would fucking flip it on them. I would go third party I would behave the way it Bernie should after they try and fuck him, dude That's right, or you know what to do to do a thing from history. Yeah, it is appropriate Theodore Roosevelt bull moose party. That's the type of shit. I would it means

The public disgrace arising from someone's shameful content. I wouldn't never I'm not appropriated. That's why yes That's exactly. That is good. That's a great word. Yeah Savaro's recent appropriate first of all the fat community can never appropriate me motherfuckers Suck me if you're out there and you disagree with my take on that. Yeah, take that Lizzo Yeah, for real It's like the last scene from the movie the one where you're on top of like but it's like a Chocolate fondue fountain. I haven't seen the one. Yeah, nobody has what's the one? It's a jet Lee jet Lee and Jason Statham. Oh, wait. I have seen that that old black guy that's like not

Fucking Lawrence fishburn the other one. I don't know. I was high as fuck when I saw it, but it was pretty good the one Yeah, yeah, I like I saw it in Greece. It's about like there's multiple Universes so the movie opens with like police walking past a video of President George Bush talking and then when they do the scene again in the Slightly different universe. It's Al Gore. Mm-hmm. And Movie came out in like 1999 or 2000 blow my mind. Yeah Excuse me. Do you think you could write a cooler scene than that Adam? No, go right now. I said it No say something cool now about karate it has to be a karate movie and come up with a whole premise of the movie now

That's true a cool karate movie. Okay, so there's like times up There's a Jewish guy on a podcast. He's taken. He's had enough you find The sensei molest him in the sensei molest him, but he also teaches him how to fight good. Okay, and he comes in yes, Daniel son Nick the back apart Some guys teaching me karate in his shed Oh, this is why we had to leave New Jersey They have to go down the town cuz karate instructors keep molesting him Well, I guess that is a cool movie

Ralph Machia was molestable because he looked like a baby, but he was a grown-ass man He also had kind of a girly 30 years old very very feminine. No, I think he's like 14. Oh But he is he is very feminine. Yeah, he's a trap. He is a trap He's yeah, there's some titties on round. He's a trend. He's a trans cutie trap Well, he does look like the bitch from just one of the guys that movie was a formative pair of titties Ah, fuck the candy fact you've you've copied. No, I did not copy that. I did not copy the guys He's copied. It's a movie about a girl that's let it be no cross dresses and at the very end of the movie when they all find out It's a chick. She oh, yeah, they see her jumbo yum-yums and I'm just gonna go ahead and put one of the guys tits into

Yeah, it's a it's a good. We've done this on the show. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember this damn. She's got big teeth Yeah, she's got their perf dude. Oh, holy shit. Yeah, what's her name? Her name is Ralph Machio Jules Heiser Honestly, Ralph Machio is cuter in the face than yeah, they click on it X videos, but she has bigger titties I want to see them move real fast so Oh, yeah, that's pretty good stuff. Yeah, there's a flop But yeah, Ralph Machio's got a cuter face Wow, that guy's got a large paint. Look at the imprint inside of her body

That is a very funny picture Anyway, did you guys get that chain text that corona chain text? We click on the link and it's a large black guy. Yeah, I'll just send that to me Yeah, that was a good one going around and then I got a second chain tank Text and you know, I'll call him out by name. It was from an Italian friend of the show Who said Adam? I just got this text message and I just wanted to share with you that And this is what it says. It says my my my sister's cousin's godmother works for the city And the entire funny this picture is

What the fuck is that I searched for just one of the guys tits also It's just a fucking Oh, Filipino man with big ass tits big nipples big nipples on on big tits It's very funny. Anyway, so and then uh, the whole city shutting down on saturday morning All the bridges will be closed. There will be no gas available. So please fill up your tags And then I that's so funny that you're making fun of your friend for looking out for you And then I said, who did you receive this text from and then he told me the name of a female comedian? I said Mike, there's no was it. There's no way that this is possibly true. It was both spelled the name

This people know how to spell So it's the same thing And so I was like, Mike, there's no way that's real. Why would she know? Because her sister's friend's godmother Well, look, I don't know could be real Honestly, when I heard godmother, I was like, this isn't Yeah, this is some stupid wop. What if they what is that? Oh damn, Kate Beckinsale defends

Oh, sorry Did I read this headline mom? I thought it said Kate Beckinsale defends Harvey Weinstein after backlash That would be an awesome move But it's Kate Beckinsale defends her Harvey Weinstein story after backlash, but it's so funny to refer to A 23 year sentence is backlash A little backlash Yeah, I'm just dealing with some lash

Having a little a light amount of lash Are they gonna put him in like a white collar jail or is he gonna have to oh, he went straight to the hospital Hell, yeah, they they took him straight from Rikers at Bellevue. My man's gonna uncle jr Goddamn, yeah You think anyone will rape Harvey Weinstein No way, dude. He's too cool He's just gonna go down on it. Don't think yeah, that'll be in israel in two weeks. Yeah No, I mean really he's gonna a quote unquote kill himself in prison. Just hanging out playing dominoes with Jeffrey Epps

Yeah, no, they're gonna be Israel. They're gonna be playing. What's it? What's it called paddle paddle board? What's a what's that game board? No the game on the beach with like the two bats like the two paddles that are wood. Yeah, what's it called? I think it's paddle board. Yeah paddle ball paddle ball paddle board is what Adam Play a paddle ball a paddle board is something that you tattle A tattle tattle tattle ball fantasize about a harry potter world where the sport was tattling Of a magical world where he's he was and harry was the best tattler in school tattling

Damn, I'm sleepy. Yeah, dude. I'm not sleepy. I had a big-ass meal. Yeah. Yeah, I had some greek food for lunch Oh, greasy. Beasy. I told you there's a second location now green point. Yeah green point Oh, it's cool because we just like parked in the middle of an intersection and then went in for 20 minutes And I didn't get a ticket. No ticket, dude. I I was I was parking so illegally for months and I just hit a like a two week bad street. Never go to south philly No, the parking situation there is. Oh, yeah, it's anarchy. It's hilarious. It's just when you park on the Curtin the sidewalk park in the middle of the street. Yeah. Yeah And then yeah all over the side all over the sidewalk. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, I actually I have been there. Oh, yeah Yeah, the fish town to go To go eat some pussy. Actually, is that south philly? I don't know. I think it's maybe central philly, but every east everyone there was uh parking on the on the sidewalks I remember. Yeah, philly's long list, dude. Yeah Yeah, it's a fun city. I wish I had spent more time there. I used to work the club pretty often But then I would just hang out and get drunk either at the club or within two blocks. Right, right. Yeah I never worked there

Healing them. No, it's a great club. Yeah, I want to I worked at the healing in porland. It was really fucking good Yeah, that one's good too. I've never been to the other one was it when a buffalo and it had ways to Yeah, but I used to love that was like the highly they used to book me like twice a year. Yeah, and that was great I used to love that. That was my my favorite my favorite place to do comedy. That's where the that guy got mad at you I mean, there's a lot of places where you guys got mad when you were doing your gun joke Were you there? No, but you've told me the story. Oh, yeah I'm not trying to put myself in the story There was one time where they had to like drag somebody out because I said the constitution was fake

How fucking dare you it was during the obama years I love guys like that guys like that didn't have like an outlet, you know, right, right? So they had to go get mad at a comedy show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I remember that joke was very fun. And now that guy he's on a pretty nice win streak. Oh that guy's life is great That guy is just smiling if he's going to a club. He's watching like a chinese woman be like white man Why fuck you white man? He's just laughing He's just laughing I'm not saying a fucking word. Oh

Fuck Goddamn, dude What do you think are what do you think are fucking? Quarantine situation is going to look like this is going to be a new chapter for the show I feel like you guys ready to just I think I'm going to get into gaming and doing animals again I think um Well, I got a What kind of gaming are you getting into you want to play smash brothers?

You want to like you want to just us though because I'm bad at it and I don't want to yeah I'm pretty bad too and people ask me to play I I literally played it for maybe three hours when I Yeah, I'm going to get back into the fucking switch The switch is great, dude. I put a luigi's mansion was great the couple of days. I played it before I gave up on it What's animal crossing? That's for girls I thought it was for babies. Everyone's excited about that. It's it's literally only for girls. There's no way There's no way you can get into it as a guy. So get into it and then tell girls that you're into it. Yeah Get pussy off animal crossing. You won't get pussy off animal as dressed as an armadillo with a bowtie

Just lie then you I say I'm a girl and then I'm like, why don't you come over? Is it open world and then that's me Your play like is a squirrel that has to like Set appointments with the doctor. Oh, it's just the sims, but you're an animal. It's the sims But you're like a fucking yeah, you live in like a coconut and that's pretty cool. You get breast cancer You get breast cancer. Really? It's the movie terms of endearment Can you get breast implants? Can you be a dog with fucking big-ass titties? Yeah, a friend of mine is getting a breast reduction and I

Repeatedly said they were like, I will lock on should we get a gun? Maybe we should get a gun Should we get a gun and plant it or hit him? Yeah, we should become like terrorists that goes tits fat We should become like terrorists that bomb like abortion clinic. That hurts. Yeah, but I'm like, bitch your brain's Yeah, the hurt. Once I blow it out of your skull 12 games Just murdering doctors that do the breast reductions. Yeah, we should be those guys man. Dude. I'm a fucking I'm a christian fundamentalist protesting outside of breast reduction clinics a white flag with a cross with a pair of tits Beautiful circular tits

Just perfect The 14 words we must defend and unite a future for big-ass titties Protect huge cans and hooters Yeah I could get into that. I could get into that kind of domestic terrorism like 2d's stylized as a swastika I love that. I don't know how it would work, but yeah, you figure it out in your head Yeah, I mean, I think we could just get it into the titties part The iron cross with titties. Yeah, isn't that a cross that has like a circle?

No, no, it's like it's like the independent truck. Well, how about this two Celtic crosses? But the circles are big titties two nipples up top Co-exist But they're all tits coexist, but it's all different breast sizes. They're all big, but just different shapes Yeah You know, so I'm glad of the but in a little titty is not listen if you have little titties. God bless you Yeah, but if you have big ones just consider just consider killing yourself Instead no, I don't yeah. Oh instead of getting a reduction. Yeah. Yeah. Just consider suicide

Just think about it. Just think about it Yeah She was like, I'm thinking about getting my breast reduced. I'm like, is there any way you can get your brain or face removed and stuff? Can I just see? Okay. Can we just have your head cut off? Why don't you get your titties completely cut off? Why don't you and give them to somebody else? Right? Yeah, yeah, like locks for love or an indian child. Yeah starving indian child. Yeah, or okay You know what you can have a breast reduction, but give some of that titty meat to somebody to have Yeah, the woman that has breast cancer the OPS is for like the christian life network or whatever was with that bearded guy

That would walk around like a junkyard in Somalia. Oh, yeah Hi, I'm bob dingus for whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then it's just like that little kid wearing rags Right. He reaches into a pile of trash and pulls a baby out and he's like this is uh Uh, abasita. Yeah, you know for a cup of coffee a day. You can give her a big old pair big fat pair Yeah, a nice fat rack Um, yeah, those were so funny because I remember watching those as a kid and I'm like, what the fuck country is it? Yeah I mean, how is it possibly that bad that there's just garbage ever? I remember being like damn Well, it's fucking somebody gives them some other fucking some coffee, dude. I missed the point completely

Yeah Yeah, they're like give me some coffee you get a picture of the kid. I remember thinking that would just make me feel bad You know, like if I even had, you know, yeah, I'm not drinking coffee. I don't know how much coffee costs. Yeah That's true. I didn't know how much coffee costs Do you think when someone has a breast reduction god gets to suck on the titties in heaven? Yeah, well, they bury the titties according to jewish custom. Do you think in heaven? They those titties just appear and you get the tittie fuck them if you're dead Do you think what what do you mean? Oh, there's just uh, you know every time a reduction floating around. Yeah

Yeah, that's like a ghost. Yes, or like whatever And then when you get back when you die you join your titties in heaven And you have perfect big tits and there's no back pain. I've often thought that about my foreskin Will you rejoin in heaven? Well, there's no jewish heaven. Is there Yes, there is I thought is there of course the bosom of Abraham Yeah, we're you know, we're just yeah, we chill with moses and My foreskin's waiting for me there. He's got a little bindle. Why did uh, why do they say you have to cut your cock off? in Judaism

What's the thinking behind that? I don't know some sort of it's a sacrifice I don't know, but I do think they bury the foreskins The baby's four seconds. That's awesome. I'd like to think that my foreskin's just been traveling around the earth trying to find me You know going up to different men and saying you're like, are you my going to different men? Are you my penis? No, no, not into the asses and the Have I been here going over the helmet the rest of me been here? I gotta call one day on the phone. How about instead of five ish there's four vish or his friend four vish But it's fore vish fore. Yep. Four vish. Yeah, and it's a foreskin. Yeah

Look at a Barney sized foreskin that teaches kids about choppers I just think it's fucked up to cut a man's part of a man's penis off. That's all I mean, I I'm not sure my dick is I feel like my shit's loosening up a little bit. It keeps getting falling congratulations You ever put like a bottle cap in there? Uh, not a bottle cap, but I have put some things in there bottle cap might help It's too rich too fucking gotta get gauges dude. I know. I know we've talked about this plenty That's the ridge of the bottle cap that I'm worried about. We would hurt not this kind of bottle cap like a fucking pepsi Yeah, pepsi was exactly

Yeah, that might not be bad. Yeah Maybe like a gatorade cap. Whoa, that we're getting that we're getting nice. Why don't you put it like a hard boiled egg in there? That would be good a quail egg a smaller one. Yeah, smaller. That's not bad A hard boiled. I could be like that fucking bitch from morio too The pink bitch the fuck is your name pink bitch Quado or whatever pink ass Viatch, what the fuck they got the little bow and they be chara. Do be chara. Do be chara. Do be pink Do you know who the fuck I'm talking about? I don't remember. We've talked about whether they have a pussy or not before

Yes, they pussy do fuck all cuck up people. Niggas doing now going to be translating the show in spanish What the fuck burdo? I don't remember a blur. Do you guys don't remember burdo? I do remember burdo. Yeah, that's what my dick would be like She's girl Yoshi, but with a pussy on her nose. With a pussy dick on her nose. Yeah, and he could maybe you could fuck it Yeah Anyway, if I put a quail egg in my foreskin, I would look like my dick would be like burdo. That'd be cool You trying to suck a quail egg at my fucking dick, bitch Yeah, we were talking about capping off the end of your penis so that you can control each other

To shit in burdo's fucking nose face Or nose hole and we look up burdo pussy real quick to get into uh Damn this thing is just built for sucking cock. Yeah Burdo would be nice to fuck Oh my god, we got some cool So people have thought about this quite a bit. Let me tell you something. Yeah on the internet The dvnr community is ready for this question. I love that if you just search for just the name Yeah, you only have to scroll down half a page for somebody before somebody's fucking it or doing

Oh, wait a second. There's something called burdo the throb slut on porn hub And there's no i'm just on google images, but you search it and yeah here. She is pregnant Dude, there's some jacked yoshis with their cocks all over burdo right here, dude. Yeah, check this out Oh, are they gonna put the dick in her in the nose? Yeah. Oh, yeah, come on dick in the nose. Oh, yeah Oh, oh, shit One of them is fucking pushing burdo's head Oh God, damn. Let me see. Look at them nipples, dude. Yeah, burdo's got nice fat nips in this one

That's cool. The nintendo would do that. Yeah, this is an official nintendo launch. Yeah, I can't see that You can't hold on Wow, is that red yoshi sucking his own dick? Red yoshi is sucking his own dick in the background. You're right I love it, dude Red yoshi sucking his own dick while blue yoshi pushes burdo's head on the green yoshi's cock Good catch, Adam. I didn't see that It's a funny I like playing people that make that shit do it because they're horny for it They don't understand how funny it is the funniest thing in the world, dude

That you would jack off to that. It's so how would they feel if they knew that people were laughing at it? I feel like it's very serious. They probably don't understand laughter. Yeah, you're probably deeply autistic. Absolutely Absolutely. Imagine being like that kind of autistic where you're like, well, it's time to draw donald duck's girlfriend Getting fucked in the ass by a car daisy. Yeah Daisy was a slut for sure. Daisy duck. Yeah, dude. Yeah None of these are no one is making fun of them in the comments Surrounded by huge throbbing yoshi cocks with cum inflation included. Hell, yes Hell, yeah, I hope we get to see more burdo growth and cumflation

Yeah, naughty. Yoshi's looking what look what you made burdo do Respect Let's give them a little shout out a fire on on porn hub Respect to you and your awesome work. Oh, they got a patreon. Yeah Plug it. Plug it. Yeah, that should be like one of our One of our sister patriots. Absolutely The red yoshi self-suck the red yoshi self-suck was the fucking best I always go for black yoshi, you know, I'm saying I don't because I'm intersectional. I'm intersectional within my video game choices

He's a dinosaur. He's a what dinosaur. Whoa adam. Jesus christ, dude. I'm sorry It's just the south carolina primary It's really changed a lot for me. No, because of what why in the world would they support joe? I'm just gonna do that. I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna go off. But you know those guys are out there What oh, yeah Oh, 100 for sure for sure. I know we're supposed to pretend like they don't exist. Yeah, but they they definitely do they definitely exist Yeah, I wonder. Oh, shit. There's about to be a debate. Is that today sunday? Who gives a shit? I feel like you know what? It's not who gets the elections off. If the trump's gonna be president forever. I

I Spend the elections martial law does get no elections, which honestly dudes rock Dude martial law he puts. Uh, what's his name? Samo hung in control of the coronavirus response Who's not a hung he was on that show martial law. Oh, yeah, nice um Is he hung? No, he's Asian. Whoa Adam you're being pretty racist. Actually, that's not true. I was in uh

I was in korea town At uh at the schvitz and I was actually playing, you know, not as bad as they say you look to the korean man's I did look at korean men's penises and I was like, all right, you know They get a bad rap. Wow, dude, they do why not in the schvitz looking at car They because it's all nude and it's bro. I know but you don't look at a man's penis. Listen, they're fucking there, dude I'm not staring at the penises sounds like you were bro. You know what and I did actually feel very comfortable in my body at that moment Hold on. Let me look at the reviews for this place It was it was that we spa in los angeles the schvitz is nice

But there was a man looking at everybody's penis and licking his lips a jewish man. He was licking his own nipple He was somehow able to reach his tongue to his own nipple bad drawings are almost the fun Yeah, the ones who are just really trying, you know Maybe 10 years he'll be able to draw the shit that they can beat off to Damn, I wish I could draw Corona corona corona um guys Do you think this year really started because of bats

A bat shooting on an armadillo at a wet market Anyway, I've been trying as hard as I can to pick my nose and I I did not realize How much I actually fucking pick my nose. I think I might pick my nose three times a minute Is that bad? Yeah, you're not allowed to touch your face, dude Silence I don't give a fuck we probably all have it don't shoot me It doesn't it take like fucking 10 days everyone's gonna get it. Everyone's gonna get it. That's why you gotta quarantine yourself

Yeah, everybody should quarantine It's gonna be fucked up when I mean because it's gonna kill all the homeless people here Homeless people in the elderly. Yeah, it's gonna be fucking tragic because there's nothing you can do about it I mean they have no place to go if they go somewhere it'll just fucking break out Did you hear about the new york city public schools how they like can't shut down because like 114,000 kids are homeless Jesus in the public school and then they rely for their for their only meal of the day Or like free school lunches. It's so fucking sad. There's gotta be one of their parents Yeah, and then a lot of people, you know, like poor kids parents like have to go to work

You know they're gonna have like no like yeah waiters and shares second grade You know service industry in general if you're like a little ass kid and you like have no one to look after you It's fucking terrifying. Yeah Luckily, it doesn't infect children It doesn't well kids don't really die from it. Yeah What about babies do No, no, it's not elderly not a single fucking case of like somebody under the age of like 12 Really people aren't being like hospitalized for it. I think you gotta have fat not people it already have to draw

I mean it really, you know, I know it's easy to get in the territory of like this is just superstition or whatever and being crazy But you know, I mean think about it. It's like it's only killing the older guiltier generation. Sure, you know it's it also There's a toilet paper panic now And think about the one religion that wipes your ass with their hand the muslim Yeah, the the uh muslim People love wiping just scooping shit out of their it's their favorite thing to they love that true. Yes. It's in the caron I don't think that's true. Well, it's a it's a yeah. Well, what about guys with bidets? It's part of the sharia

Yeah, it's sharia law starring sam oh Okay Muslim shit, okay Oh that guy. Yeah. Yeah. He was a fat martial artist. I remember him. I remember we had this guy. We've had it Yeah, we've talked about sam. We've talked about sam before but you know, I gotta piss so bad Go for it. They're adam style Adam style pissing out of your ass. So stop. What are we gonna do in quarantine with no fucking nba basketball hoops?

I'm pissed dude. No league really go bears. Bitch ass had to get fucking that french piece of shit That french piece of crying because he didn't make the fucking all-star team your piece of shit Baby wash your hands. You fucking you took away what we loved Honestly, I'll probably watch old games on on youtube. I think so too if you can get them still maybe we're an espn classic Maybe we watch them together start them at the same time, you know from our respective homes I like that text each other. I'm trying to get a little quarantine girlfriend. Dude. Just Living my home for four weeks. Yeah, I think that's the move get me get top That's the move all the all the all the quarantine babies with a quarantine nine months from now

We were who's trying to get quarantined in a story of new york holler at me, dude. Yeah I'm trying to get my little nuts sucked as we mentioned earlier in the Uh show I have I am very good at getting my nuts sucked So just wanted to throw that out there. I'm liking the tucnik The french tuc the deal the french tuc You're tucked in in the front of your shirt. Oh, that just happened by accident I know you because you just went to pee and then you pulled your pants back up Um

Oh My god, my dick is small I really don't know what to do on this quarantine I mean, it's crazy all these fucking shows got canceled and it's like I have that's it. That's that's 2020 That's the only thing I had planned just go back to dudes rocking. That's what dude. Guess what like By the way girls if you're listening You fucking suck. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you y'all suck dude. That's one thing that That's one gift. That's one gift. I think elizabeth warren has given us. It's just

She's made me feel a lot more comfortable to be a lot more open about my massage Now I can just go back into the tp and fuck my dog bailey It's really straight dude. The thing is she doesn't know anyone anything This person trying to be president of the united states. You're not the boss of her You're not her boss She don't boss her around. She does what she wants girl style I think the thing is

Some dude, can you imagine like being in a relationship with a woman that's like hysterical and crying about elizabeth warren? I mean, no, and you have to fucking kill my and you have to just be like baby. It's okay. Oh, yeah Damn, I would love to cheat on She had to take super PAC money My friend she said she's just cheating on her with another guy Haha, yeah, just take that bitch. Yeah, take that. I'm having gay sex in the living room. There's some guy I met on play stage Bitch shut up shut up, bitch shut up. We're voting for bernie for trump fucking whore I'm having gay sex with my bernie bro in the fucking living room, bitch

So gay guys like I don't really care I don't care That guy's just cashing in on some cock on the side right respect to him. But then he also calls her a bitch Yeah Those fucking teal teal profile pick motherfuckers They are the biggest fucking losers. I've been off I've been off. I don't know. That's Elizabeth warm bros. I saw a picture of your shit the teal. Yeah, it's liberty green Shut up, bitch. Oh like the statue. Yeah Damn, which it was a gift from the italians, by the way, the french the french shut up both of you

How did you not know that that's a pretty sure everyone knows that pretty sure was the italians. It was the french It was the italians Um, are you sure I just want a bit or did you know I swear? No, it was the french. Yeah Isn't isn't the inscription in italian or something latin. It's in latin. Yeah, which I guess is like the basis for french and italian italian Much more so than well, they give us give us your sick your poor. You're mentally retarded You're gay. You're hung your bbw Your bbw sluts, your doms, your subs, your pay pig, your fuck pigs, your gossips Hell yeah, just towed with your twigs towed with a water

A tube injecting water into it. People love inflation shit Is saying mario luigi help So have you ever fucked a feeder? No, but I fucked like two girls that were into fat men that felt awesome. I felt hot I felt like John I remember one of those times and that was pretty epic. I was very happy for you Yeah, dude, we got in a fight right before it happened then afterwards you told me about it and I was like, you know what my boy I'm so proud of you. Thank you Yeah, dude, it's just if yeah a bitch just eye me up like

Like this is the body what I want. She wants to get slain, but I want yeah, I love getting objectified Just feeling like a woman. Yeah, I want to feel like a woman And I'm a lot of gay men do that, but it's not the same. Yeah, I'm trying to feel like an animal Okay, like I live outside in the woods You know I could see that and I could disappear like a spirit guide, of course. That's what I want Where would you live in the woods? Yeah Like at night, where would you sleep? I wouldn't sleep. He would be always conscious. I would disappear Hmm into the ether and rest in the nether realm. Mm-hmm beautiful. Yeah, let's go and walk about this movie

I want to feel that's awesome I watched a movie where everybody had cool fucking nicknames like the golden the white dragon and the golden fucking leopard And the red then that sounds like a really cool movie. It was cool, dude Well, anyway, the white dragon was hanging out on the premise of the movies everyone has cool I think honestly pretty much imagine a world where everyone has one movie. It's called blood of the dragon Okay, it's pretty tight and the white dragon was Caucasian white dragon was a Chinese And they were twist they're fighting the Mongols Oh, okay

So they're fighting the retards. Yeah, and the white dragon the reason I brought it up was because he was chilling on the top of a branch It was pretty cool. It was like early. They had they did a little wire stuff kind of crotch of tiger type shit You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're directed by pao shu cow It had a really good soundtrack also White dragon must get a list with the names of rebel supporters to prince matang The leader of the rebellion trying to stop him in his mission the evil prime minister Fuck that prime minister Yeah, them talking about prime ministers was kind of weird and shit

But whatever, yeah Oh Damn this pre-recording shit is tough. No, dude. It's not because it's like how many more times you're gonna talk about the coronavirus Well, I think we're at a different stage of the coronavirus It felt like a lot changed from Tuesday to Wednesday this week and now this episode's coming. Yeah, it was in seven weeks But oh, yeah, the episode's coming out like a week and a half But it was a crazy fucking week. Yeah when they cancel the NBA Or I guess to spend it

My word That's what I was like. Fuck this dude. Old people dying. That's one thing. But what the fuck am I gonna watch? Old people like I get highest fuck at night and sleep What am I gonna do for that, bitch? It would be funny if like, you know, the coronavirus killed your grandparents and you were like, oh damn I forgot I do care. Yeah, actually, I was thinking about my grandmothers. I'm kind of scared for her Yeah, that's like because a lot of people are like old people who cares and then you think like, oh, I know I love a couple. No, I know a couple of them

Because but like conceptually as a concept being old as shit and it's like pal, maybe you're better off Yeah I'ma go old yell on my grandma just in case. Well, I saw that they're actually probably yeah I'm gonna fuck my grandma to death Just to savor the indignity of dying of corona give her one last bust just really just rail that shit out I mean, I'll be disgusted to do it. Yeah, but that's you'll be doing it for your family in japan They carry the elderly to the top of a mountain and let them die up there It's that's kind of the same thing. Yeah

It's fucking your grandma to death I saw that just going in raw nose not even spitting on it. Just tearing tearing it up Yeah, hasn't been wet ripping all Truman was in office. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, just bleeding out Through vaginal tears. Oh, yeah, just tear it just destroy it. You know what I mean? And you're saying I love your grandma Yeah, I love you kissing her on her neck. Yeah, you're singing. Um, my heart will go on Oh You're playing it my ass will go on

Every night in my ass. I get fucked I get fucked. Yeah Lots of guys busting and then we fucked in the car in the storage area Wow, keep going Either we said that on the show before somebody does that is a bit It feels like an obvious brand is small about when jack and rose fuck in the car. Well I feel like it was it was something either is either a joke I pitched to somebody once and they were like somebody already does that but like the whole idea was the joke

Well, the movie titanic is being told by a an old bitch an old bitch It's the whole premise of the movies. They're sitting around listening to her tell that story which includes sex scenes So they're just sitting there with some old bitches. Like and then he and then he he fucked me And we fucked so much that there was steam on the windows He came inside of me Yeah, and then I took my shirt off and what do they do with the comb my breasts and he painted me. Do you think do you think he What do you think they did with it? Do you think she sucked them off to completion? Or do you think he busted inside? I don't know. They should have gone into that. It would have been a better movie

The director's cut Where people were bitches swallowing come back then Yeah, all this shit nothing's new No, I don't think that's true. No, I know I'm familiar with your joke about how you think older generations weren't doing it No, I'm not first of all. Don't bring my joke. It's a good joke. I've seen you do it But I just agree with the point my first of all, I think you're wrong in that things are cyclical I'm not bringing your act into this to some things are sacred But I know my dad tells me a story about when his grandmother was dying and she had dementia

and he went to the hospital to visit her and She like had like returned to like some sort of adolescent state where she just started telling him about going Into the forest with the rest of the boys from the village to pull her skirt up and show them her pussy Oh, yeah, nice. Your grandma was a fucking slut. Yeah, I think that uh, yeah, she got what I'm saying She got fucking gang banged in a forest by other boys from the village. That's pretty tight My point is I think some things are cyclical and I think sometimes people were freaks suck dick look suck dick look But I don't think people were swallowing cum

As at certain points in history That's all I'm saying They were probably a lot of them were getting cream pie not in the the 40s and 50s. No, you're right. Thank you They were busting somewhere else. I'm saying did rose was rose a dirty bitch that loved to come Um, that's all I want to know Yes, she was did she cheat on billy zane? He was a good bf. You know billy zane was not Getting his dick sucked to completion. Did they imply that he had ed or something that made me that good? Yeah I don't know dude

Um So what else guys? I don't know man. I don't fucking know what kind of meals can we make in quarantine the ramen with cream cheese What you haven't done that? No, it's pretty good. Is it good? Actually, I have done like a packet ramen and you put in a put an american cheese and scallion So somebody hit me with a what when you've done something justice gross It's it's it's pretty gross but pretty good. It sounds like something a hater would do. Yeah, absolutely a giggler One might say giggler Take take take one to note notice. I say I giggle, but I'm not a hater

I giggle. I'm far from a hater. I only giggle at the meek That's true. You do which is the worst type of giggler to be. Yep. You know how I am. You can't giggle at the strong but at least I'm People are posting these pictures of stores that got nothing in them and I have not seen that once trader joes in downtown I've been to like three or four game stops and it's fucking Stocked. Yeah. Yeah, you're stocking up on provision. I thought I would have to go in there and you know get my funko pops Yeah, but now Because once once we're quarantined, dude, what am I going to do sit around and not look at the wobble head versions of

Of luke skywalker and color red little toys, which I need I didn't exist until three years ago. I found out about them on reddit and now I need all of them And they have to be in the box. I have to prove to the other guys who I work at panera bread with that I am an epic nerd They had I'm an epic nerd I am what you call late epic. I am an epic fag Goddamn those people are fucking gay

They're the worst that guy Shout out to uh Shout out to what's his name nick nick nick charelli did a video where he went to the funko pop store Oh, hell yeah, he just posted it. It's very funny. That guy's funny. So the guy the guy does Videos with the other guy's very funny to the tall guy. Yeah, yeah, look at this williams Thomas williams. I had to pick a name. That's his name. It's thomas williamson. I think it is thomas williams So I didn't pick a name off the top of my head, but that guy's name would be yeah I'm getting thomas williamson vibes thomas williamson vibes, baby

Every night and I'm thinking this though. I'm thinking this I get fucked. There's no sports, right? There's no distractions. I'm gonna start watching movies sunday night And obviously this is coming out after sunday night. So it's not gonna even be that good of a point. Yeah Everyone's gonna be watching that goddamn debate It is a shot. This is this is this is the shot for for for our king I think to take down that fucking retard biden And it's adams politics. Thank you. They're gonna they're gonna inject him with whatever like a drug that keeps him Like cogent for like an hour and then it like sucks his life. Yeah, they're gonna give him aterol or something

They have some kind of but him on aterol rambling is gonna be amazing. Exactly. Yeah Yes, I could fly the plane and the damn plane something fucking The famous speech, of course The famous Benzel from flight speech. You bet. Uh, there's two kinds of planes in this world There's the plane one and the second kind Bitch Now when is that latina to give me a head from the beginning? Uh, there's a regular plane. She had some big, she had some nice titties that lady. There's a regular plane

And a sole plane Somebody just said can I get an f in the chat? I just got fired from my job for accidentally sending a big dave video to some co-workers God, man big dave I mean, I guess I'll I guess I'll type after that hit hit him with an what is the what's the origin of f? F is for respect. Yeah. Well, it's from a video game It's from like what the last I call a duty We're like one of your friends dies and you attend the military if you're enrolling it says like on the pc It says press f to give respect. Yeah

That's good. Yeah, damn nice. I'm like getting caught up with internet stuff Yeah, I was not up on that and a lot of people were hitting me with f's in the comments and I thought that they were just calling me a fag Yeah, they were trying to get a fagget chain started. Yeah f a G G Yeah, that is nice. That happens And no one disrupts it. Well, they usually do it with another word That's true

A naughty or one that I've never seen. I have something really naughty for you, dude It's my penis So suck my penis Fuck dude. I literally the second shit got started the second shit got cancelled. I was like time to have a relapse I've been just getting fucked up. I'm getting fat as fuck again, dude And I'm already too fat to begin with so we're in a danger zone right now And I have dick pills on my dick works now no matter what that's the real bad

That's a fucking that I'm gonna get a monster truck to beat the virus because if you stay they say anything under 15 feet is where the Virus lives. Oh the virus lives on low low low ground low atmosphere. Yeah, get a monster truck Just imagine me ripping through brooklyn I'm just driving over like a fucking drifting around corners just smashing a block of a block of park cars Yeah, yeah, I'm like you can't stop me. I'm a socialist I'm a good guy because I do socialism. Yeah This is the ss socialism. I'm one of the I'm one of the podcasts that ruined the burning campaign Yeah

That's what people are accusing us are they who's accusing us the new york Fake news gray lady motherfucking times Gay lady the gay lady the gay lady. I will never listen to a fucking woman, dude a gray woman Be in color if you want me to listen to you. Yeah, I only listen to mama sitas of colorito. That's right I Absolutely papito. Yeah, I'm kind of um, I like to think if I like to say, you know You say people of color women of color. I like to think of kings of leon in that same case What's up my fellow kings of leon the higher more kings of leon

Why don't we have more kings of leon on tv? When you suck at my penis You're making me gay. You're making my penis. I'm getting my dick. So that's the best shreds video Is uh the kings of leon sexual fire shreds Your penis is in my ass I'm burning your bust We'll never vote for biden. I will not vote for joe biden. I won't do it. Yeah, I probably won't I mean, it's at least because we're in new york. We can't I was gonna vote for trump

But now he's not funny anymore with the corona virus. So it would be funny if he dies from it though He probably That would be funny. He was kissing bolson arrow and fucking mara lago bolson arrows. Bitch ass keeps getting sick My man is like almost dead constantly. He looks like evil. Mr. Bean. Yeah, he's doing He's making He's making his supporters do a funny noise You're not coming in on this we're enjoying it what you're saying you're doing you're doing the news and we're doing All right, I'm gonna stop doing the news go back to the news

Oh, I'm not trying to dissuade you from trump kiss bolson arrow mara lago. He probably has it That'll be awesome. The manager of our arsenal football club has it. Who's that? Me can't let anything happen to arsenal. How about a team called up with that was there ever What was there ever a soccer team? We canceled they canceled the season. So liverpool's not gonna get a chip They're like they've they've never won the premier league before they were like fucking killing it this year No, anything funny happened to arsenal in the uefa. They changed their name. Yeah. Yeah, they lost to anybody in a fucking interesting in a fucking

In a really tragic manner. Yeah Yeah, I point to you bro. That was me putting you that was our two clubs And I'm the heavy underdog on that one, dude Yeah, I mean most of the most of the fucking players on the greek team. We're just smoking stokes on the fucking pitch I loved it My dick Well, listen folks, uh, you're listening to this you're deep in quarantine. We pre-recorded this a week before so we don't maybe the world's completely Falling to shit. Maybe the world's okay. Maybe there's flying cars

This is usually where we plug things, but it seems like everything's done. There's no plug all the shit is can't canceliano Cancelion. Hey, antonio canceliano. I just uh, you know, I heard a couple of people saying maybe you're using anyone You know somebody who do we do Tony Sampanero? That's a great one, dude. Yeah Hey queen. Hey, it's michael canceliano It's michael canceliano and Tony Sampanero No, I'm just saying I'm just saying I heard maybe 15 years ago you said something right

You know, there would be a problem It would be a problem if you did that when you were if you use the m1 when you were 13 Hypothetically, I'm saying maybe somebody could get you fired You know, it's a pretty job you got there. I wouldn't want anything happening I just want to say that I have the receipts it'd be a real shame Yeah, it'd be real shame if somebody came through here and told your boss that you uh, didn't respect girls boundaries Maybe somebody sent a little facebook message to your mom You know what I mean? Say this is the son you raised. He's 35 years old and he said suck my dick bitch to a complete stranger on the internet

Maybe maybe your mom who've we've doxxed We've got your mom's job's phone number So people can call him up and say call. Yeah, this woman raised a man who thinks it's okay to tell the woman to shut up Ever a woman. He doesn't know who's annoying. He's annoying. He's being a dumb bitch being a dumb bitch That he'll never meet in real life Because I know if I me fantasizing that I'm the mother of a grown man I would say Yeah, yeah, I brought you into this world. I can take you out of it pal

I just want to say yikes I just want to say from the bottom of my heart yikes. That's a yikes for me. That's a fucking a yikes for me Yeah, like honestly, like if you know, there's believe women But if like a woman I know I've never believed if a woman I know was like, you know Some guy told me to shut the fuck up, but of course you'd be like, what were you saying? And what were you wearing does not equate to what were you wearing? And what were you wearing? It is different. Yeah, it's way different. Especially on the phone. Anyway, whatever. Yeah on the internet Where they deserve it where they deserve to be arrested

This is how I got my penis you want to be online With the fellas you want to be on the internet? Which we can't call you gay. What are we gonna do? Say you suck dick? You probably like that. Yeah, you probably fucking like that, you know, so you got to do something You got to you can't make anybody have a good time ever Good times are canceled good times are canceled. Oh, yeah, Michael cancel the honor. Hey, I'm I'm fucking I'm Michael canceling Hey, listen, I'm just saying maybe I heard you said some not so charitable things about the Chinese when you were in seventh grade I just want to say I always got rapey vibes

Let me ask you this uh creepy rapey vibes You can explain there's my space picture you pulling your eyes back Oh You can't or you can't Yeah, that's the sound of me sending an email That's fucking borts. You sending an anonymous email to mr William Carter sound familiar No, I have no idea who that is. You're like, well, well somebody that has a similar name

Do you works at an office somewhere and he will be getting fired that guy will get fired, which is okay with me I just have a taste for blood. I just I mean vindictive piece of shit You could say who if we're being honest is probably just as bad a person if not worse than you Yes, probably and almost certainly worse. It's certainly fucking six months ago was doing all the things I'm mad about now In fact I probably hate the police, but if you put a gun in a badge in my hand, it would be like the 9 11 of Trayvon Martin's Fuck well Folks

At least podcasting will never go away. It'll never go. You know, it's like what they said in the sopranos there's certain Certain industries that are resilient. We're recession proof. Yeah, so I'd cast certain aspects of the entertainment industry And our thing. Yeah, you know this thing of ours podcasting. All right. Well, goodbye