The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 206 – John Slick

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

I can't keep up with these descriptions. Adam lost his audio again.

We're live, we're live, and we're getting pussy over the internet. Alright, well, Adam didn't figure his shit out, so... Adam's computer can't connect, so guess what? Guess what? We're doing it this way until he shows up. Ideally, I'd like to have this set so that it's like fucking... It drives me insane to start the podcast, and then I broadcast to YouTube, and it gets a couple seconds before, and every single one is gonna start with me shoving my beard

in my mouth, because I can't not fucking do it while I'm trying to figure something out. Dude, you gotta fucking fix your oral fixation. Dude, I tried. I used to put... Because I chewed a hole in my lip years ago, when I was 23, 24, I had a goatee, and I fucking chewed like a... Did this?

All the time. I can't stop fucking doing it, and then it gets even like... The hair just stopped growing at this point, because I can just say constantly just chewing on it. You were like a fucking cow. Yeah. You were just mulling on some grass, and it's a little brown patch. You did that.

You were grazing on your shit. I got hotspots, like a dog. But now I look at the fucking... Here, look, I'll just screencap it and send it to you. Look how fucking stupid I look. I've seen it. I mean, it's just like, that's still now for the video, is going to be me shoving... Oh, that's the beginning still, is you going...

Is me shoving... Like a little bitch. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you look gay. I know. You look like... It's pissing me off. You look sad your boyfriend said he can't come over in this screencap.

No. That's a little too far. I wouldn't say that's exactly what the vibe is. That's actually exactly. No. Yeah. You look like a poor lawn. I think...

You look like you've been rejected by a lover in this. No, I think the look is... I'm upset because my morbidly obese friend ate all of the Toblerones in the world. You snooze you lose, pal. There was too many... You can't trust me around a fucking Toblerone. You know that about me, dude. There are too many Toblerones, or not enough Toblerones.

Don't leave me around your Toblerones or your bitch. Yeah. That's the thing about me, dude. Adam says he's in. He might be in the waiting room. Oh, okay. Very good timing, Adam. Well, well, well.

Look who decided to join us. Hi, guys. Look who thought it'd be a cool idea to wait till 2.59 p.m. to see if his computer... Oh, I was doing it for like five minutes. I had to restart my Mr. Tank Top back in the midst. Look who waited until 2.55 p.m. to see if... There's Mahalo Vibes over here. I love it, dude.

Are you waxing your board? I'm waxing a lot these days, including my... Your hole? Your vagina. You're waxing your vagina. Is that what you're doing, Adam? I was waxing my asshole. Nice.

What do you think about waxing the shit out of your ass and your balls, believing your gooch, Harry? Yeah, people say waxing philosophical or whatever. Yeah. I know. But they're just like, not to wax vaginally here, for a second. Yeah. I want me to wax my asshole a little bit.

Yeah. I think that would be anally, wouldn't it? Not to wax anally or wax penicillly. As-hole-as-holy? As-holy. Mm-hmm. Not to wax. Now, you guys did kind of gloss over, though, my idea of a little gooch mohawk.

Yeah. Like a little... Just like a little Hitler mustache. What do you think of that as a look? In between your pussy and your... Isn't that just... Isn't that how it looks, anyways? It's a shame.

Well, unless you shave it. No, I'm saying you wax your dick and balls and you wax your ass and you let the gooch go crazy. Interesting. You get a nice little fur. I'm getting, like, very, like, caucuses vibes from that. Caucus? Like, that's like a... like a... like a tribesman in the Urals who would be...

Absolutely. Yes. You don't get... you're not a real male in the tribe unless you shave your gooch-hawk. You have to shave all your pubes and ball hair and your asshole, but then they have that and then there's bells at the end of it. And then you're allowed into the army by memorizing a dance. Yeah. And then you're...

I have to pay for... for three days you're on a fucking vision quest drinking nothing but goat's blood. Yeah. Nothing but... Mountains. Like, yeah. Milk. Like goat milk and...

I'm fucking eating bark. And then... then you're in the army and you're allowed to go into Turkey to rape women. Yeah. That's right. And then you come home. That's how you earn your sim. No, here's what happens. You come home.

They snip off your goo chair. They smell it. If it smells like Turkish pussy, you're allowed in the army. You're allowed in the army. That's beautiful, man. Yeah. That's a beautiful people over there in the Balkans. Yeah.

I'm excited. Greeks are kind of like the white people of the Balkans. I went to Home Depot and it was like a fucking hour and 45 minutes. I don't know about that. What? Great. His statement about Greeks being white. In terms of...

Like, I don't like the racism exists, but in a world where it does... In a world... But Croatians... Where racism exists... Croatians are... Greeks are at the top of that race experiment. And I'm not even saying it's good. I'm pointing it out as a sort of ethno historian.

What if racism actually existed? 20th Century Fox presents the black-mind-in reality. Black-mind-in reality. The Merrill black-mind-in... Who's ranked the Balkans then, bitch? If Greeks are at the top. What are the Balkans again? It's like Albania.

Are the Yugoslavian countries the Balkan? I would say so. Slavs. Yeah. So Croatians are white. I don't think Greeks are whiter than Croatians. I'm saying we're at the top. Oh, you're the best ones?

In a world where that kind of thing, if you subscribe to that kind of thinking, which I don't, personally, if you did, we would be Serbs. I guess Serbs are probably the bottom. Let me walk that back. Let me not swear the white ones. You're saying you're the superior ones. We're the superior Balkan race. Which I don't, but some people do, is what I say.

I would say, look, either nobody is white except the English, or everybody's white except Sub-Saharan Africans, Indians, like East Asians, and like the Tasmanian devil kind of folks that got down there, I think they're called Negritos. I think it's aboriginals. No, the racial... That's the new Bud Light Negrito. Negrito with wine. That sounds delicious.

Whatever Negrito is. Negrito is the racial category of people that are like dark as hell, but they're not actually from Africa. Oh, nice. Yeah. Well, that's cool. Negrito are several diverse ethnic groups who inhabit isolated parts of Austronesia. Austronesia?

Yeah. See, that's fucked up because to me, that sounds like a black guy from Brazil. Negrito? Yeah. Or Columbia or something like that. Other bounty hunter and star hunters. Like they would do some dancing like that. Wait, do you guys see those operators get owned in Venezuela?

Yes. That's so fucking funny. See, what were they called? Silvercore? Yeah, dude. So sick. That's your rocks, dude. Look, those guys, what were they from Iraq?

They were like, Iraq and Afghanistan guys that were like, we're going to be fucking... They were seals, I think. That's hysterical. They came in so cocky. They got their shit split, dude. Maduro sucked their dicks clean off. They probably were the guys that got rejected from Blackwater. You know, they're like, you're not a good enough operator to kill Arab people for money.

All they've ever done is like, they were like, they were security for Trump like one time. Were they? I think, yeah. Dude, those guys suck. Yeah. They definitely did. And Maduro, before him was the guy, some guy that the CIA hit with the cancer gun, right? What was that guy's name?

Chavez? Chavez, yeah. Did they get his ass with the cancer ray? I mean, he got cancer out of nowhere. Is that a real thing? Dude, you know they got some shit like that. I know. But why wouldn't they be doing that all the time?

I think they do. Because whatever crystals or human sacrifice it takes, it's too much. Maybe you can only use it every once in a while. Who knows what kind of occult shit the CIA is on, dude? Yeah, I guess. The Chavez, right? Didn't he get like some crazy form of cancer and just die out of nowhere? I don't know.

All I know is he liked track suits, so he's one of our brothers. That guy rocked, yeah. He's one of the brethren. He did look cool. He would give speeches with track suits. I didn't, I messed up, I got the Velour, those Burgundy Velour, Beckenbauer, like... The Adidas. Yeah.

You got the Beckenbarrage and Velour. Oh, wait, no. We have the same one. We have, I've the only got, I got the track bottoms as a present. And I was at the... No tops? The time, I was like, you know what, I'll go get the top, because they were $80 each, the top and the bottom.

Oh, they went on sale, brother. They went on sale, but they discontinued them. And now the fucking top is $450 on eBay, and I can't go around with half a track suit on. No, that's pathetic. Cut the check right now. What are we waiting for? Yeah. You gotta...

No, I mean, you can't... Make the check out the eBay right now. You can't find it. But no, I'm like, now I'm thinking about like, you know, because we all got to think about different economies after this shit, and it's like, I should be buying every type of new track suit from Adidas, not wearing it, and we're just waiting to see if I can flip that shit on eBay in two years. Yeah, you're going into the world of hype, beast, resale.

Yeah. I mean, this thing is fucking hot. The problem is, I love wearing the track suits, and I wear them. Big problem. And then... Wear them with joints. Yeah, this shit's fucking dirty as hell now. Yeah.

But I love it. Would you need... Look at this. One's a stock, one's a... This is so cool. One's a rock. No, it's a cop. There it is.

That's awesome. That's one of the best ones. Yeah. What I've been doing... It's the best of the Puma Motorsport track suits. With that question, with that question, and I've taken a good look at all of them. Yeah. The BMW one is very good.

Well, because it's the M-Motor sports one, the Ferrari one's fucking gay. The Ferrari one is... You think it's going to be awesome, and it sucks. The Ferraris are for fags, dude. I don't like... Yeah, but it doesn't look cool. Ferrari's are because of... Nah, I'm not...

Dude, I got beef with them ever since I saw Ford vs Ferrari. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What? You're disrespectful. I'm not, that's very funny, I'm laughing at it, ha, ha, ha. I'm just... I'm just... I say the fact.

What about that was disrespectful, Adam, would you say? They're rude and disrespectful. They think they're sculptors of gorgeous machines. I agree with them. I like a Ferrari. It looks cool. Yeah, but being in the Ferrari, it's like boomer shit, you know? Yeah.

I'm not sure if...I've said this before, but the millennial car culture is about having autism and appreciating every type of car. Boomer shit is like, yeah, they're like, oh, wow, what if I'm one day I'm a stock burger millionaire and I have a Ferrari? Yeah, dude. And that shit is for fucking Persians. Listen, bro, I'm Eastern European. I got a little bit of that in my blood.

You know some Persians came over in the old days and raped one of my fucking great-great-grandma's. Yeah. You should get into colognes in a sense. It's on its way. It honestly is on its way. This summer was going to be the return of jewelry, because I feel like jewelry is for summertime, and I was going to get into cologne. I'm pissed.

I'm pissed at fucking all my sartorial, my sartorial fucking growth had to take a step back. I'm out here wearing my old faithful t-shirts, my Jordan, my comfy ass Jordan shirt from like ninth grade, but the boomers are, they are correct about some of the cars, dude. Broken clock is correct twice a day, motherfucker, and Ferrari is one of the things they're correct about. Although Jordan's Ferrari in the last dance documentary is very, that's the one I was that one is very tight as fuck, dude.

Yeah. I feel like I just watched a movie where a Ferrari was in the mix as well. They're cool, they're cool. I have something about, I'm kind of back into like something boxy. I used to like sleeker type of fucking car, like I thought a Porsche was cool. I'm not as much into that kind of shit no more. I want that boxy fucking powerful shit, dude. Like what?

Like a Ferrari. What boxy Ferrari do you want? Like Jordan's Ferrari in the last dance, it's cool. I didn't see the last dance. It's good. Very good. It's great. Are you talking, do you mean save the last dance?

Yeah, Michael Jordan save the last dance. It's Omar Epps and Michael Jordan dance together. No, it's Michael Jordan and Hillary Clinton. I'm pretty sure of this. See that movie? Off the top of my head. Yeah, that's true. That's who it is.

Yeah, but apparently fucking Hillary Clinton was being sold to Michael Jordan during the 90s in the Bulls championship years. She was getting fucked by the whole team for cash. Really? Hard cash for cash. Yeah, because Scotty Pippin played in Arkansas, so the Clintons had a connection to the Bulls team. Right.

Scotty used to be their Bull and that's why Bill Clinton intervened and he was like, I want him on the Bulls. That's why then that's the name of the team. He fucked my wife. That's the name where the name of the team comes from. Yeah. It's from not only not only that there are Bulls, but also that they were from Chicago. A lot of people don't know that, but the Chicago and Chicago Bulls refers to the city of Chicago.

Which is crazy. Yeah, just a bunch of, they hired 12 mostly black, but a couple of tall white guys to really just bleed out Hillary's pussy. Just really turn into hamburger meat. I actually read, I heard from a couple of trusted sources verified actually that she enjoyed eating shit. Really? Yeah, that she would.

I did see that too. They would pay extra money to the Clinton Foundation to have Hillary Clinton eat, which she called the finest turds. Really? Yeah. And where were those, those were from the basketball players too, is that from around the world? No, they were from the stadium.

They would just go in after the games and clear out all the secret tubes that went from all the bath house. Is that like that episode of the Simpsons were at the food court? It all goes into one big thing of meat. It went into a troth and Hillary. Yeah. Her big fat ass was chained up hanging from the ceiling and they had the tubes going in there and she was force fed shit from the stadiums.

Every turd that was flushed down the United center from 1994 to 96. Yeah. Well, Bill raped children and played saxophone. And this is, this is a lot of this stuff, a lot of this stuff, you know, you don't even hear about, but if you go through the archives, you can find newspaper articles about it. You can find New York Times, Hillary Clinton's shit eating operation, pause after a plumbing issue. Yeah.

You know, yeah. And they kind of, I've been going through some micro feasts recently. That's the thing, man. It's that's why I'm not conspiracy theorist. All this stuff is out in the open. You just got to look brother. Yeah. It's right there.

It's like they're taunting us. Yeah. Building seven was actually filled with bathrooms. Wow. Yeah. And why a lot of this push for this trans stuff now is to get even more bathrooms so that the curtains, so Hillary can eat more, even more shit. Yeah.

So yeah, we want to men's, women's and trans bathroom, and even though that will still be the same amount of people and think trans people were holding it, that they were, they're getting so long. Yeah. And maybe trans turds are even more delicious. A lot of the surgeries, you know, I mean, because they can't actually make a vagina. They just have to make a second asshole. So trans people are often, they have to produce, they're producing twice as much, you know,

the expression I'm eating for two now, what that means is I've had surgery to have my penis removed and I have a second asshole. I have a second asshole. Yeah. I'm eating for two assholes to shit twice as much into Hillary Clinton's mouth. I've heard that, I've heard that from a confirmed source because I was at a diner and I overheard a woman say to the waitress, I'm eating for two now. And I was said, what does that mean?

And I asked one of my friends from a website about guns that I talked to as a forum for guys that like to memorize details about special forces ranks and trade. Guys that never actually served in the military. Yeah. And then somebody saying, I'm selling a wink, wink lower receiver, wink, wink fully automatic PM me for details. And most of the chatting happens in the private message section of the forum. Right.

And that's kind of like an inside joke. It's, I don't even, I can't really parse what that would even mean. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I started watching a bit of that show, Waco. Is it good? I don't know.

I think I mentioned this already. It's kind of, I think he did. Too depressing. Yeah. Well, let's go back to the idea that Hillary Clinton was, they had a bull. Did you guys know that there's a difference between cucks? There's two different forms of guys that get their wives fucked. There's cucks.

And then there's something called hot wifing where there's a, there's a, which is like, that's sort of like more of like a parrot head kind of Jimmy Buffett style cock work. Just a Hawaiian shirt style. Yeah. Who wants to fuck my wife? Honestly, literally. Yes. That is what it is.

Yeah. We all go out on my boat. I make $800,000 a year out of my real estate investments. You know, I live down here in South Beach and it's like, there's one thing I love. It's seeing my leathery pig bitch of a wife getting railed out by the guys that clean my shoes, you know, that's right. That's music. Right.

That's music to my fucking balls, pal. It's seeing that bitch, seeing that bitch getting railed out by Jimmy Cheeto dust over here and his pal, his pal, Mikey Moonlips. Well, I, well I sit fucking Glenn LeVette on the deck of my, my 55 foot Peterson schooner. I don't know anything about boats. Schooner? I don't know. What's a, what's a cool boat company name?

I don't know. My Jonathan, my 55 foot Jonathan Livingston. Yeah, it's literally a guy who they, they said that because I was trying to research this cause somebody said, I was on the call in show that I do the, some guy said he was a bull and I was like, what's the terminology? I was trying to research it. And I found a YouTube video where it's like this couple and they're like, the husband is there.

He's like, I'm not a cuck. See cucks get humiliated, but I love that my wife is getting fucked. And so she goes out and fucks guys and then they come back and apparently it makes for an even more, he fucks her after somebody has fucked his wife. He's called a stag. That is so hot. There's a bull and there's a stag and there's a cuck. A stag is like a cuck who is kidding himself and pretending he's not a cuck.

He's basically Nick's parrot head. It's pretty, it's an interesting culture, interesting subculture. Are they, are bulls always big or do they sometimes one like a, you know, maybe a petite man? Yeah, you could never be one of them. That I'm sorry. It's not about size. I'm just saying.

It's about, it's about. Adam, you'll never be one of those guys. Well, I don't, I'm not saying I want to be one of those guys. I'm just saying, or is it only big, it ain't never going to happen. Let me go ahead and finish here, Nick. I'm sorry. It's not about size, but it is about temperament and you absolutely would never be a bull. Oh, well, you get me hot.

Get me hot. No, you could never could you could, do you think you could fuck a man's wife while he watched? No, that would be horrible. Yeah. Yeah, I can barely fuck a man while I can barely have a threesome. Like I can barely, I, it's a two, two person thing to me. Yeah.

It wouldn't be my favorite, but I could not be my favorite. I'd like to see you even try, you know what I'd also like to see? Yes. You're getting your picture remains penis, your head getting run over by a monster truck. Where's this coming from? It's like third grade, I'll smash you. What is it? Why, why, why today?

Where's this second grade? I'm a bitch. And I'm not even in third grade. Wow. No, that's. You can't even make it in third grade. You can't. You're not even in third grade.

We know that I was. You're in second grade. No, you know that I was ahead of you in school. Yeah. But that's not dumb. And I was an accelerated class. In the girl's class. My parents argued my way in.

You're in girl grade three, which is the equivalent of boys, great. And that would have been pimp to be in a girl. Grade three is they made you wear dresses and boys preschool. I did. I was put in gym class in middle school. They had boys gym and girls gym girls don't learn girls don't even learn a shortage of teachers one year. And I was put into the co-ed girls don't even learn basic I think it was all the non-threatening

boys and retarded kids because they didn't want anyone. Yeah. I didn't want anyone. Did you lose every time? Messing about. No, I did. I was I was pretty good. Got it.

Pull ups though. Those kids were incredible. No, no, no. No, you weren't. No, you weren't. What are you talking about? Anytime Adam says he was good at something, you know, for a fact that it was. That's not true.

The opposite. The girls, the girls and the mentally handicapped boys ran the floor with you. Yeah. Getting, we get getting walked out like a dog and in the middle of the. Get the lead getting walked out like Hilary Clinton on a trot. Yeah. She used to stroll Hilary out on a leash and then she'd have shit all coming out of her mouth and pussy.

And she'd be in the locker room and gotten her pussy through. Yeah. She did. The whole team would take a shit then Hilary Clinton's pussy and Bill would watch and this was, you know, that's how he won in 1995 or four or whatever. Yeah. Is that? Yeah.

A lot of people didn't know this, but that's Cuomo didn't run because his wife didn't like eating shit enough. Who is his president? What is his wife? Divorce, I think this is wife like eight million pounds and traditional Italian. I think he's a single general. No, I'm talking about his dad. Wasn't his dad going to run?

And then he didn't because everyone thought G Dub was had it sewn up. Who? Oh, Mario Cuomo. I think Mario dude. I don't know. It's a me. A bitch has a Mario Cuomo. I haven't watched my sons.

I've gay. I haven't watched even a second of those Cuomo broadcasts in the last like three weeks. No. It's so fun. Yeah. Now like how quickly all that like, you know, it's so funny all that like president Cuomo shit dried up and he didn't even like fuck up in any way. People just got bored of him.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like just kind of like, yeah, never mind. Yeah. Because he does the same thing. He gets on. He's like, you know, we're going to work very hard. It's going to be hard, you know, but times are tough.

And when times are tough, you got to be tough, you know, it's like my uncle used to come by and he would come by the house and we would see him come by and we'd go where did he go? Because he would have left. And sometimes people leave the house, but not this time. So this time, it's people staying in the house because that's what that's what the science is. It's just the most boring shit. It would be nice.

He ran out of anecdotes. This guy's been sitting there collecting anecdotes for 400 years. Yeah. Well, but he can't even go folksy because he's a New Yorker. So he can't even do that. He can go italic. He can talk about fucking pizza pie and yeah, Monaco. It will be nice if everyone turned on him when he said that shit about you should get

a job as an essential worker or when he was like, you know, but it's that's not it. You're right. It's just everyone got tired of them. They were fucking bored. Yeah. They got bored up. You ask, why do people do lip sync videos? Because they're wildly popular because entertainment is fake.

Like, what the fuck does that is that I'm only thinking that because I saw a lip sync video. It's the same. It's the same reason people do podcasts. Why? Because what the fuck else do you just make something and people look at it? Yeah, but I don't understand lip sync. I guess it's I guess it could be impressive, but I don't see how it could be funny.

It's weird when people share them when like a white male comedian, somehow a black teenager will do a video of them saying their jokes and they're like, oh my God, thank you. And it's like, I don't this seems like a trap. I've seen it. Yeah. Next thought about this scenario for quite some time scenario, Jones, dude. That's her. That's which scenario scenario scenario.

I'm making Mark Mabriglia videos and come get your ass for dinner. Stop doing. Stop doing his hour long one man storytelling show scenario to sleepwalk off sleepwalk with me off and get your ass in the house. It's crazy. No, you're sub sub lip syncing this American life episode. It's crazy to think right before the world ended like they made a movie about what it means to be an improv guy.

I know. Trying to get an accent. That's very funny. Yeah. That's the end of culture. We were doing for a cultural class. Yeah. What was that Zach graph movie or TV show or movie about like a like a podcast.

But then it's like, but, but the twist is his wife's Indian. Yeah. Was that it? Yeah, dude. It was like a successful guy who quit his job and like started invested in a studio. I mean, and just some dumb ass executive. It's stupid. It's fucking like, okay.

And we're going to do something and it's going to be about podcasting is real big. That's hot. It's and everyone's we're not going to look into who's actually podcasting. It'll be Zach graph and he has a midlife crisis. So he has to start a podcast because that's exact. That's what's happening in the real world is it's middle aged millionaires that are starting very successful podcasts as evidenced by every time the industry has attempted that and it's completely face planted.

We're going to pretend like that was successful. And then for good measure, let's go Indian bitch. Let's go. Who is supportive. Imagine supporting your husband. You have children. He quits his job. Quits his job.

Like, I'm going to start podcasting, baby. And it's called, it's called the dot cast and he names it after his wife dot who that's just a coincidence. Her name is dot. It's Dorothy. She goes by. For sure. I don't know.

It seems like it's a little, I don't know about that kind of a coincidence. Maybe you, maybe just name her Rebecca or something. How about, how about just like a three second sketch where I'm like a hiring manager and there's an Indian woman that comes in and she sits down and I'm already like giggling and I'm like, oh, you're here for the job interview. And she's like, yeah, I'm like, uh, what's your name? You know, and she says, die. And that's it.

That's the end of the sketch. Just cover her and drink out of a coffee mug. You know, you are watching man TV. That's the end of it. That's the whole sketch. I love it. Brother. Yeah.

And you kind of, you sprinkle that in and then there's other sketches that are happening. Yeah. That's the interstitial, like right before, right after commercial, that kind of thing. Yeah, and then it comes back and there's like, you know, black lady and she's like, oh, yeah, my name's, uh, you know, the second one, just right to the end, where do you go from there? You know, Nick, we really like the sketches, but it kind of peaks early when you say the end word, 90 seconds into, I'm not saying it. I just, my character says, what's her, what's your name?

Then she says it. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Sorry, buddy. Yeah.

I just, I guess when it's said, yeah, you're hiring female act actresses of color. I'm just spitting. I'm just spitting coffee. To be spit on. Yeah. Yeah. To say a slur and to be spit on. Yeah.

So in the Norton show, I wrote like the opening sketch and part of it required Jim using a black woman's titty to put milk in his coffee and then the actress and while we were shooting it, she's like, what black woman would allow this to happen? What was the idea behind the sketch exactly? It was just like, cause Jim, Jim wanted to do the pilot episode on white privilege. The whole premise of the show was like, he takes something that millennials are upset about and like, like he tries to solve the issue by learning as little as possible about it.

Right. So the opening sketch is like him in line at a coffee shop and he's like, white privilege, what is it? And then he like steps out of line and just cuts to the front of line and then he's like taking people's orders and putting milk in his coffee with a black woman's titty and then he, there's a cop giving a black guy a hard time and he pulls the cop's gun out of his holster and starts like stirring the coffee with it while like explaining to camera what, you know, like, is it real?

Yeah. I would have, I liked the titty angle. We could have done something with the, maybe the black guy's cock or something, you know, well, next time. It's IFC. I don't know if you could sell that to, yeah, basically payable. Yeah. It was, yeah, they weren't, um, we didn't actually show titty milk.

The nipple squirtle. Yeah. No, you couldn't do that. I was kind of hoping you would see. I was kind of hoping it would be a tight close up. They had a fake baby or whatever, but nice. It actually looked pretty cause it was a complicated sequence, you know, to do it all like in one like continuous thing.

You do it. Scorsese style. Tracking. Tracking shot. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. It was cool.

That's tight. Fuck. Let's write a quarantine TV show. Yeah. Maybe we can solve it. Like that's a lot of people are doing. Nah, dude. This is going to be different.

Yeah. It's going to be on zoom, dude, dude. It's about meeting a bitch on zoom. I literally think my beard stopped growing in quarantine. Even like the easiest thing to do. I can't make any progress. Isn't there some, isn't it like, doesn't everyone's beard have it reach a limit? Yeah.

But not within. This is just at a year now. I mean, it takes like, I think like three years before your beard is done growing. How'd they do it in ZZ Top? No, I heard, I was, I was listening to a podcast where they got weave. The ZZ Top guys are just really lucky. They're really lucky and good at guitar. Yeah.

Like what are the odds? Unreal. Yeah. Well, I'm going to let it grow out another year and then we'll see because two years you get kind of a good idea of like what, how much more beard you can grow. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

It's also too, I haven't been eating enough. So could why don't you take biotin or whatever the fuck? No. Somebody DM me about like kelp because I want, you know, you know, I got to grow the hair out. You know, I got to grow this shit out. And I just want that. What is kelp?

Kelp's like, see it's type C weed, right? I think it's C weed. Yeah. I've been making a little Kirkland. Here's a Costco hot tip. Those Kirkland, like the big bags of the seaweed snacks, man, I love those. I salute. Those are incredible.

I've been making like a week's worth of rice and grab a seaweed snack, put a little just a little ball of rice in there, roll it up, dip it in some soy sauce. I love that. I love that dude. Fuck. Yeah. I should do that shit. Damn.

Every time I'm going to live off rice and beans, every time we do this podcast, I sit down, then I get excited about doing the dumbest bullshit in the world and then it ends and then I don't do it. You don't. Yeah. I'm like, fuck dude. I'm going to like. I'm going to watch white chicks.

Yeah. Exactly. White chicks is good. I'm going to watch bring it on. I haven't seen white chicks in a while. White chicks is so funny dude. It is a very funny idea for a movie. I fucking love those guys, dude.

I love that. I also love Sean's post scary movie spoofs are incredible where it's just him and it's just like he's basically doing a one man scary movie. They're so fucking good, dude. I don't even remember what it was. There's no one else in it. Yeah. I mean, obviously there's other people, but it's like, it's like one that's like a 50

shade. I think you did 50 shades of black. That's funny. You should do, you should do a parody, a parody pill that you can take if your dick doesn't work. Wow. Really? Probably something like blue chew.

That would be good. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That'd be a good idea for more Sean Wayne's folks, if you're somehow new to this podcast, even though it gets over 800. Excuse me, guys. I have to take my medicine. Yeah.

If you show them how it's done on air and stuff. No. I'm not taking a dick pill right now. Why not? Why not? For what? The jackoff? You know what?

Actually, yeah. Guys, if you're new to this podcast, show them the discreet packaging that it comes in. I don't know. I threw out this package. It was so discreet. I fucking threw it out. You couldn't tell what the fuck it was. Yeah.

Well, anyways, this is the package it comes in. This is blue chew. Show them this thing. This is inside the other package, but they got this slick. See? That's how discreet it is. That's how discreet it is. This motherfuckers invisible.

This appears, dude. What do you even know? Oh, me? No. My dick works. Yeah. If it didn't, wouldn't I be holding a package of dick pills? Your neighbor's like, what is that man holding up?

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Crack open a fucking can of Bluetooth, your dick will swell up like it's biceps. I'm laughing about it. I was just finished the read real quick, but like so yeah, here's the real deal for you guys, visit bluetooth.com and get your first order free when you use promo code COMTOWN. Just pay $5 shipping, that's bluechew.com promo code COMTOWN, chew it and do it. Yeah, it's like just imagining like Popeye the sailor man walking by a Popeye's chicken, which he had no idea about. He's like, the fuck is this?

What the hell is this? What the hell is this? And then he sees who's working and eating there and he's like, oh hell no. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. It's a bunch of fucking, what are you, what is this? Are we sure Popeye's racist? Isn't he a sailor?

Yeah, he's a racist sailor. He's a sailor from the 19th century. Sailing is an incredibly white experience. What? No, not a merchant, not if you're a merchant marine. He's like a forties, like fucking only good job as a bedjab kind of. Yeah, no, you're right. There's no way Popeye's not racist.

He's a big forearms guy. Fuck, dude. When is Popeye from? He's from like the, he's an early ass cartoon, dude. Yeah. He really is. Yeah, this man fucking, this is nasty ass wife. Yeah, we're going to look up Popeye the sailor.

Yeah. Popeye the sailor. The first appeared in the Daily King features comic strip, Thimble Theater, January 17th, 1929. Mm-hmm. That's something. Let's take the top. Well, if I type Popeye racist, I don't think I'm going to get too much information on

Popeye the sailor, man. Uh, why not? Probably going to be about some other stuff. Why is it named, why is the chicken place called Popeye? I guess that's a different, that's a guy's, just a guy's name. It's named after Popeye Jones. Scrap, Scrap the Japs is an American anti-Japanese cartoon with the popular character Popeye as a protagonist.

So good. It follows his, his adventures after being sent for punishment on a ship and running into Japanese sailors. You have like a beachcomber for racism in your brain, it's amazing. No, I mean, they did that all the, like every cartoon. Yeah, I guess it does. In the 1940s, like Bugs Bunny was like fucking like, yeah, yuck, yuck, yuck, it's not our problem if they're going to the ovens, you know.

That is true. There are some wild cartoons, bro. Yeah. Some wild cartoons. Yeah, but of course Popeye doesn't fuck with, was there, did Popeye ever get any other pussy or was it just olive oil? No, but that's the thing is he wasn't like, don't get it twisted. It's not like he was trying to fuck olive oil.

He was already smashing on the regular. It was Bruno that was trying to fuck olive oil. And so you always do this gay shit, like be a shitty coworker with Popeye, right? You know, like not help at their movies. Yeah. You know, that's some real cut, some beta shit right there, you know, he's strong. Yeah. Like, oh, I'm going to be passive aggressive because I want to fuck your girlfriend.

Yeah. Well, you know, Bruno only cared about show muscles, you know, where's Popeye is from. His muscles were for go. I've been inundated with messages from like starting strength, fucking fat titted retards. Those guys are like shit. They all look like shit and like you get, you get lean and they're like, dude, why aren't you doing leg day and it's like you have breasts. You're fucking disgusting, dude.

Don't talk to me. Why would you try to not look good? Yeah. What? That's the whole point of going to the gym is being hot. You found out you found the one way to do it where you can pretend like this mad and also to none of them are ever like have any kind of impressive lifts. It's like you're 260 pounds and you're squatting 330.

It's like that's not impressive. You're built like a cow. You're fucking internals. Your internal organs are closely, more closely related to what's inside of a cow. It's 18 gallons of milk and then and then 15, 15 months of backed up shit over or like underneath cargo shorts and fucking Tevas. That's right. Yeah.

That's right. That's why the best kind of fat guy to be is the podcaster. The podcaster fat guy who like doesn't, here's the thing, your body looks like there is zero difference between your body and a guy that's been on like the starting strength reddit for fucking two years. And his entire identity is the gym. Is the gym and they have a diverse set of interests. Yeah.

Yeah. Imagine, imagine. I do have a lot of interest. Imagine being a guy who goes to gym nonstop and you don't fuck. You're not ripped. Yeah. You're not getting any pussy from the gym. Yeah.

Unless it's like and some weird tattoos, some weird powerlifting girl with the exact same physique as you. That's the only, it's your only chance at pussy. Yeah. Some truck of a woman. Yeah. Fuck. I want show muscles, dude.

I'm going to get bicep implants like that Russian guy. Well, that was the whole thing is that there was, you know, people that would just fucking, they wouldn't work out their legs at all and they would just make their like biceps and chest like look good or whatever and then neglect their back and then there was people who would criticize them who had well rounded physiques and people who look like absolute shit picked up on criticism. Yeah. And they're like, no, you're also supposed to do like, you should be fucking hitting

your biceps. Yeah. You should be doing those things. That's the whole point of going to the gym. I'm listening to fucking grind core. I said in the text, right, dude, but when this is over, hold on, I'm going to, what's the problem with listening to grind core? No, that's what those guys do.

What are you doing? You just add something in here, I'm just adding a little bit of season. What's grind core? I mean, I'm just giving him a hard time. I don't know. I remember it from metal from a high school. Is that what a man grinds? That's what the girl jeans guys would wear.

Would listen to. Oh, listen to fucking grind core. What's girl jeans guys as the pants that everyone wears now. But in high school, like high school, only yes, primo guys would wear only they wore tight pants and then fucking 10 years later, dude, that's true. Black people started wearing them. Right. Yeah.

I dude, I'm looking at, I found these. You started all that Kanye Kanye was like, I'm going to dress like a rich white person pink polo. That's true. And then from there on out, it's been like, you know, yeah, that's why the old, the old type of black guys, you only see them. There's only homeless people. Those are the only ones because they don't have the internet or something.

So they're like, yeah, man, giant guest jeans, fucking nine, nine XL hoodie. You know, I saw a picture of me from college and I was wearing the biggest jeans. They were like leftover jeans from high school. I was wearing hilariously fucking wide jeans. Dude. I had. So I was a fucking wide jeans boy. All got them.

Of course. Why not? Husky jeans. Yeah. That's the way to go. That's the thing. Growing up in Baltimore, it gives you the cover to just have fat ass, white ass jeans. It's like also cool at the time.

A nice, a nice, a nice big fucking jersey, a nice Lamar Odom Clippers jersey. Well, clothes weren't tight. Clothes didn't get tight until like fucking, yeah, like 10 years ago. And then because I remember growing up, you weren't baggy. You got a baggy shit. That was, everything was baggy. It was cool. You saggy pants were a baggy shit.

And then fucking, you know, I was wearing sweatpants. I was like 19, like fucking three XL sweatpants. But the fucking, you know, I remember like growing up, you see like pictures of people from like the 60s wearing like tight ass clothes and I'm like, damn, that sucks. Yeah. Those guys are fucking gay. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's gay.

And then also like that's got to be uncomfortable, right? You know? And now it's like, all right, I guess I got to wear tight ass clothes. Yeah. Short, short your back. What? I think it's going back. It's going back to bag your clothes.

No. Is that what you think? Yeah, it is. Oh, what makes you think that? I'm cool. No. What? No, it's not.

What do you, you think skinny jeans are in still? They're, they're definitely not. I think you just picked the opposite thing and said, oh, that's what's next. No, I just disagreed with you. No, you didn't disagree with it. We weren't in it. I didn't disagree that that's not coming back. I don't think baggy shit is coming back in the way it was in.

Not in that. Not in. Yeah. Yeah. Not in. People are going to be wearing six XL tall tees. Not in. I got it for cheap.

No. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. What was that shirt all about? I got it. That's your rules, dude. It was just a, it was just the, uh, the clips. It was a clip.

Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. Those shirts now cost like $60. It's every rapper from when we were fucking in high school just is trying to get all their clothing is all based on people are in their thirties, like looking for nostalgia. Yeah. I mean, John has a clothing line and it's like, I'm going to buy a tracksuit, but they're

like $350. Yeah. I'm going to get a 600 a $600 pair of Birdman lugs. Yeah. The 100%. Do you remember those lugs that had spinners in them? Yeah. Those were fucking awesome.

The funk flex lugs, those fucking rock that couldn't even, I couldn't even work up the nerve to ask for those. I knew I couldn't pull them off, but I know they were, where they, they were Dada Supremes I think those weren't boots. Those were the, you think of the spree wells, the Dadas, yeah. The spree well. The shoes. The shoes.

That had spinners in them. Yeah. Yeah. Those were incredible. Those fucking rock dude. Shouts out to, shouts out to Latrell. Fucking rocks. You know, what I, with somebody, because I've been researching all this Jordan stuff, apparently

Jordan was the first guy to wear baggy shorts because he was self-conscious about his legs. And then I think he started the whole, he was started the whole fucking baggy shit fucking baggy shit. Yeah. Cause the guy that's five, 10 and 370 pounds, who's been working out for three weeks told Michael Jordan that he's exercising, that he's exercising wrong. Not a CrossFit guy. No, it's not guys.

You don't, you have no, you don't even know. Okay. All right. This is why I have to post that picture of you on the bench. Please don't. I, it's you. Please. Cause you do this.

Please. Cause it's CrossFit guys. It is. CrossFit guys do look good. CrossFit guys do look good. It is, it is, it is the, the, the fat guys who probably were, who were not powerlifting fat guys. It's regular fat guys that decide to make some kind of change.

They pick the easiest option, which is you continue eating like shit. Now with more, now with milk and you, you get on the starting strength forum and you reply, you get excited when Mark Ripetow replies to you and you, is he on there? And you call him coach. Yeah. They're guys that love the, the appeal of starting strength for those guys is that he uses. They call him coach.

Yeah. Have you seen videos of him? Stop. He's funny. The starting strength forum is the fucking funniest place in the world, dude. That rocks. It's like. Bodybuilding.com.

It's, it's like, it's almost like stealing Valor guys. Let me see. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Starting from forum. Bodybuilding.com.

I know because every once in a while random shit would like screenshots from bodybuilding. Bodybuilding forms are funny and like, like I have more respect for people that are just in the bodybuilding than people that are just into like any kind of like beginning strength program that want to be like, you know, pretentious about it as if it's not just going to the gym three times a week and doing an incredibly simple program. Right. Starting things is just what just fucking benching and squatting. Benching, squatting.

Deadlifting. Take it away, Adam, deadlift bench, squat, nice, and press overhead press. Yeah. Four exercises. Dude, my shoulders fucked. How is that? Are they doing surgeries now? Yeah, they are.

Right. Elective surgeries. I don't know. My fucking shoulder. Your boys, your boys about to get that foreskin. Don't even try it. I'm going to slip it off. I'm getting it brown too.

If you get a foreskin, I'm going to cut it off. I'm going to get a lovely brown foreskin. Mark my words. I'll tear it off. Fucking further up than when they sewed it. How sick would my ship be if it was two tone, maybe three tone? I'm going to get a luxury force. You can't pull off a two tone cock, by the way.

You could not. Why not? You don't have the swag. I'm going to get my cock three tone. It's going to be red, golden, green, rasta colors. No. Why not? Well, how would you even do that?

Tattoos? I don't know. I'll find a surgeon. No. No, you couldn't do that. You can pull it off. Speaking of all this fitness shit, I'm fucking pissed off because Adele betrayed the community, dude.

Oh, she's skinny now. Yeah. She's not fat anymore. Fucking. So, there goes in a fucking role model. You looked up to her? I looked up to her, dude. I was taking voice lessons.

I was saying, what am I supposed to tell my fat son now who wants to be a singer, who wants to be a gay singer? You look up to Luther Vandross, there's a lot of fats. Meatloaf? Meatloaf sucks. I'm trying to think of other, there's a lot. I was trying to find a good post on here. The problem is you would need a producer to go find good shit when it comes up, but then

I wouldn't trust their taste. Yeah. That's right. Well, we could bump Adam down to producer. We should bump Adam down to producer. No, you'd get mad at me if I messed things up. That's actually your natural, that's what you are. You're the perfect producer.

I would be an executive producer, of course. I already get mad at you when you mess things up, so I don't see how it would be different. I couldn't even get on the thing at all in time today. Instead of you interrupting with incorrect information, we would tell you, I got it right. You would tell you what to go find, and then you would do it, but then you would insert your own personal taste into it that would be, that would be, of course, a boring. Classic producer move, pulling the strings. No, that's not what a producer does.

It is not what a producer does. Not even close. Pan's what kind of producer. There's two types of producers. There's Dweeb that everybody fucks with, which is what you would naturally be. Or there's Fat Titted producer, girl that gets sexually harassed. No, I would be kind of more of a Jerry Bruckheimer. No, that's an executive producer.

You're not, we're talking movies. We're talking podcast production. There's no executive podcast producers. There's no Don Simpson's of the podcasting world, and if there weren't, you wouldn't be. Alright. Damn, I have to piss so bad. Nice.

You can piss, dude. Go take a little piss. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to do that. Yeah. You know what? That's smart.

I should just do that instead of like, it gets close to an hour and I have to piss because I make a coffee, and then it's like I just want to end the show in an hour, but I could just go piss, make coffee, come back, and we could chill. Yeah. Well, you know, how long are you going to take to come back? Maybe 20 minutes. I'll be back. Yeah, dude.

Alright. That's cool. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah. You see fucking the Kim Jong, the God was actually faking his fake to death. I'm so jealous of that move. Oh my God. That's like a Huckleberry Finn move.

That's like a you fake your death. You see who's sad. Mm hmm. Whoever didn't cry. There's a lot of fucking, there's a bunch of Korean family members that are going to get the fucking anti aircraft gun right in their fucking asshole to tomorrow, dude. He's such a legend. I love him so much.

That's a big win for us. Again, as the in the fat community, we lose one bitch sister. That pony bitch fucking it's over for you, bitch. I love Kim, dude. I'm a big fan. Me too. I love the psychological warfare aspect. We lose a double.

We get fucking Kim Jong-un back, dude, from the grave. You think they cries if I die? Does he cry? Yeah, I guess. You think a single tier solitary. Yeah. Yeah. Native American from the recycling commercial.

I think he would cry. He would cry in a big performative way. But then he'd get home and he'd be like, well, now everyone's off my back and he would just fucking. He would just make like a tuna casserole or whatever. He would make like a tuna egg scramble and do upside down push-ups. And then he would try and find a new friend to replace you. Oh, I don't know.

It would have to be like a little gay guy. I would be I'd be pretty sad, I guess, if you guys died. I've been, you know, I won't say you'd be panicking. You wouldn't know what to do. What are you talking about? Well, you would have no way to support yourself. My art. No.

I'm an artist. You're going to do you're going to open a show in Chelsea. Yeah. I moved to a small village in France on the coast, a surf kind of France surfing village. Started all over again, lived very simply. You know, are you selling your paintings for sustenance in this scenario? Yeah. In that scenario.

Yes. I'm hoarding them all right now to drive up the price and the market price. The thing is, you probably could, you will have a little show and you'll make too much money selling those two dumbasses. I'm trying to meet more war criminals, more people that have done fraud on Wall Street. Those are the kind of people that that's those are the kind of people you need to sell your art to. No, that's not your thing, dude.

You got a lot of people that are going to like it because it's look, look, I bought a shitty painting from a guy from a shitty podcast. They're buying it for the signature, not the content for sure. But I got to, I got to start rubbing shoulders with like guys that are like 14th in line to the throne of England or something. Those are the kind of people. Adam, are you going to become a pedophile? When become a pedophile, yeah, like, like hanging out with like, I feel like you would

do that. Why? Like you could become an Epstein kind of guy. Do a pedophile because it's the popular. Well, you have all the markings of it, you know, like the, the. What kind of markings? Continue. Yeah.

Um, specifically, specifically that, like your desire to ingratiate yourself to the more selective or restricted aspects of society, um, collection of bad. Like I hang out with, uh, Illuminati people, they were just saying you wanted to just saying you want. I was saying that as a joke about, uh, every joke has, every joke has a kernel of truth, man. Every joke has a kernel of truth. Every joke is actually true.

Why don't, why don't more guys that are 14th in line, why don't guys in the throne just try and kill the queen anymore? That used to happen. Because yeah, there's no benefit to being the queen. Yeah. Huh? Just get more big ass, get that big ass palace. Don't they have like a fucking 18 billion dollars?

They have like a crazy amount of money that they just hoard in jewels and shit. Do they? Yeah, I guess they do, but I don't know, it sounds like you have to go to a lot of charity functions and like cut ribbons. You get to get pussy from a girl that was on suits. Who is that? The one of them just like quit being the world's Harry. Yeah.

Yeah. Harry. Yeah. And then what's he doing now? I don't think they let him quit. No, they quit. They were supposed to move to Canada or some shit. She was doing voiceovers for the Disney channel.

Yeah. I like how that shit, it's like I'm walking away from this to be a regular celebrity. Right. Yeah. It's like I'm going to, I'm going to live the way normal people do and get, trade in my golden temple for a regular mansion. Just for a mansion in the hills. Yeah.

Damn. Yeah. He should be forced to just cam. That should be the only thing Megan would have to cam and then he would. I would hit the only fans for that. Yeah. I would. He should be a mailman.

Have you ever subscribed to an only fan? No, they should make him a mailman in Ohio. What's that? Prince Harry should have to be a mail carrier in Ohio. If he wants to do this whole I quit the world family bullshit, then well, okay, now you're working in a fucking jack in the box and in Albuquerque. That's your job now is what maybe we'll let you manage a quiz nose. That motherfucker has never had anybody like be mean to him outside of his family.

No one has ever told him he can't do anything. Another paparazzi. The most unrestricted person who's never like I really don't think she's ever heard the word no is Gwyneth Valtra. I really don't. If you said no to her, I feel like she would be like, didn't Gwyneth get got by Harv though? She had some not chill stuff happen Hollywood style to her, I believe. No, I don't think so.

You don't think so? No. I thought that was a big reason she stopped acting. I don't know. What's her deal? She's a lifestyle person. Bro, Gwyneth? Gwyneth before she went off the fucking pussy candle deep end, I watched heartache.

She was awesome in that shit. Yeah. She is a good actress, but she is. Good ass actress. But she is also like just. She grew up rich as fuck. Of course. I mean, she does have that look.

Don't get me wrong. She has that vibe first. Damn dude, the lighting at 3 p.m. I need some fucking talcum powder for my nose. Yeah. I'm coming in shiny like I'm that fucking French guy. Yeah. Her mom's Blythe Danner, dad's with Bruce Paltrow.

Who's Bruce? That's a good name. That's a good name. He's a producer. Oh, okay. Who's her mom? Blythe Danner. That's a, Blythe is a pretty cool name.

Yeah. That's a rich old lady name. Yeah. What was Blythe up to? What do you mean? What was she about? She an actress or something? Yeah.

She's the she's the mom and fucking meet the parents and meet the fuckers. Whoa, for real? Wow. Damn. She's pretty fuckable for an old lady. I mean, she's in a shit ton of moods. I would take top from Blythe. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Big time. Maybe she can Blythe me off. I know. I was really working on something like that and I couldn't get anything. I would like to get Blythe. Why don't you Blythe my dick, bitch? Yeah.

Why don't you Blythe? Oh, Blythe. I got something you can Blythe you fucking old bitch. Let's go ahead and get her a fucking home address. There's a center little postcard that says maybe you can Blythe me off, bitch. Meet the fuckers. How about you meet this fucking dick? Meet my fucking dick.

Does anyone ever say that to you? Why don't you meet my fucking dick bitch? Maybe you can get foked in your ass. I'm Ben Stiller. I'm still hard. I'm still pussy. I'm still bending my dick back up in my waistband thinking about fucking getting Blythe off by they're just not taking the microwave or the Q&A or the Comic Con.

There's a meet the parents panel of Comic Con and then there's a lanyard. Blythe my dick. Blythe my dick. Blythe my dick off. Just gotta catch up all over your sweatpants. I'm fucking just horny for Blythe. Blythe probably doesn't look as good anymore but when that movie came out I would for real fuck her as an old lady.

She had a little magic in her eyes. Also the lady that plays the fucker, fuckers the blonde girl, who is it? I don't remember her name. I think her name, wait, is her last name Pompeo or some shit like that? Mike Pompeo. Was it? Yeah, it was Mike Pompeo. No, her name is Pompeo I think or something like that.

I only know because she did Playboy and that name is seared into my head from Google searching the nudes. Let me see your name. Meet the fuckers lady. It's not. Where are you talking about meet the fuckers or meet the parents? Well, you know, it's the same shit. I bet you her name is Pompeo dude.

It's Terry Terry Polo is the girlfriend. Hmm. Yes, that is her name is not Pompeo. Yeah, Terry Polo had some nudes out there that I jacked off to in my in my youth. What what's happening in your brain is that Robert De Niro plays a CIA guy in the movie and that's that's what their premise of the movie was that he was a spy. Hmm, that is, I mean, that's true. Look up.

What were you saying? Nick? What were you saying, Nick? I was saying within Adam started speaking over me and saying words coming out of my mouth. What's that? What? Dude, Terry Polo, bro.

Look her up, dude. I'm looking at this shit right now. She is fucking hot. Hey, this is a hot come town tip for you guys. If you want to go ahead and Google Terry Polo and maybe playboy 2005, maybe maybe Blythe your Fox Blythe, your little fuck. Yeah. Blythe your dick off to see what Blythe was looking like back in the day.

Damn. She's probably hot. At that. She's like a hot she's made to be a hot old lady. You know, I want to, I want to watch right like all day long as there's me come all come car auction shows. Me come. Yeah.

You know that shit? It's just hours of cars. They used to play on ESPN. Oh, there's like Dan or nudes, by the way, dude. Yeah. What do you hook up to the system here? Huh? Yeah.

I'm fucking. Yeah. I had a microchip and playing into my brain. You're all plugged in the system. Yeah. Like the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the matrix or whatever they, yeah, I'm in fucking vanilla sky or the other one. Minority report.

Uh-huh. We was doing this shit with his hands. Everything is a computer. Anyway, Blythe Dan has got some fucking puffy little pink nipples back in the day, dude. Very cool. Very, very, very cool. That's pretty cool. Very cool information.

I got some very cool information from Mr. Shover's. Uh, fuck. I've not seen those car auctions, Nick. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's just fucking like, you know, just hours and they drive the car out and then like rich old guys just pay like $40,000 for, but it's cool, dude. It's cool.

Sounds pretty cool. You look at cars all day. Me come on time. Dude, I mean, it's such a funny name. Is that really? It's N-E-C-U-M. It's N-E-C-U-M. I mean, it's like, change the name, you fucking idiots.

That fucking rules. Yeah. Uh, welcome back. You're watching the I'm Faggot auto show. Um, it's, no, we will not change the name. If you're, if you're just joining us now and you're, you're wondering if- It's not what it meant when we named it 100 years ago. If you're, if you're just joining us now wondering if we were ever going to change the name,

the answer is, no, we will not be changing the name. Uh, but we're back here with the 27th annual I'm Faggot auto show. And next up is a- I'm pretty sure everybody knew what Faggot was 27 years ago, man. Yeah. Our next up is a 1983, uh, Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Hearst, Hearst Motorsports, uh, Cutlass. This was the last of the Hearst Olds collaborations and, uh, uh, the first time seeing this year at the I'm Faggot, uh, car show, um, the big, this is a big moment for Faggot heads

all over the country's fans of the I'm Faggot car show or noon, which started in 1988. Welcome back to the shit pussy auto show. Welcome back to the fuck me in my ass. Faggot auto show, you know, well, it started in 1988 with little more than a few helpers around president and founder Dana Meekum's family dining room table has grown to more than 200 strong on site. The name is Dana Meekum. Yeah.

Babe, Dana Meekum over here. Dana Meekum over here, okay, that's awesome. That's awesome. His name is Meekum. You go to the Meekum shop, buy one shirt, get, we'll get one free. I might, I might make my own Meekum shop or Meekum shirt, which you might be able to find in the next seven months at cum.town. That's right.

Yeah. I love the Meekum shop. It's real. This is hilarious. Yeah. I love being hooked into the mainframe. Yeah. Dude.

It's literally, they just have shirts that say Meekum in these letters. Who is going to wear this? I don't wear it, dude. Do they look cool? No. Not really. They're not cool. And you know what?

The logo itself isn't that bad, but it's like these shirts, these are just bad shirts. Meekum is so big and auctions is so little. They're really highlighting Meekum. This is rocks, dude, respect. Yeah. And this is our Daniel Cunt Pussy. This is our first year here in Jamaica at the first annual Jamaica Meekum auto auction. And this year we've got a special, we've got a 1977 Ford and they called this the fuck

me in my ass mobile. After the CEO afforded the time, Jonathan, fuck me in my ass, fuck dude, I put deodorant on for the first time in like months, I guess not months, weeks and my head hurts. Is that you think that's because of the fucking chemicals? Yeah, it's the same thing. It's probably that. But deodorant you use this shit, this dub shit that I was that I had laying around. I don't normally wear it, but it's maybe too potent for me.

Hmm. I don't know. Maybe I need to be on some holistic shit, dude. Yeah, some Tom's shit. That should always like their toothpaste is tastes like shit. I hate that stuff. Natural deodorants and toothpaste and stuff. We should be on a holistic kick, holistic, wait, me or Adam, I don't know, I don't know.

No, fuck you, bitch, you go on a holistic, yeah, kick, kick this whole dick in your mouth and ass. How about that? Why don't you go on that? We got him, brother. We got him big time with that one. Who me? I wasn't even paying attention.

Why don't you go on that? Yeah, well, we got you. Look at this. This is section. I'm just looking for more shit on the me come website. I have a section called me come on time. No way. Yeah.

No. If you're worried that me come up and if you're worried that me come early, don't worry, me come on time. No, come on. That rocks. Why don't you just look at the fucking website on your computer, Adam, because I'm not sure if it'll crash my computer. Because he has a bit.

He's a little dick. How the fuck have you still not bought a new computer? You've destroyed two episodes. How am I going to get a fucking desktop out to my parents' house? And then and then take it on a plane back to New York. You need a desktop? There's a powerful ass laptop. You get a different.

I've had this laptop for a year now, and it's fun when I'm when I'm on the ethernet. I bought I bought my brothers for their birthday some nice fucking big dick computers. They were like around a G, but they they do everything you need. They got 16 gigs of RAM. Are you frozen now? Was he just up? Yeah, he's frozen. He's frozen.

He's fucking dumb, bitch. That's what you get for talking shit about how good your computer is, bitch. Look at you. You fucking asshole. Nice. Now we're going to lose his fucking audio, too. Yeah. No, it's literally yes.

It's going to dump because his computer broke. It's dumped all of his audio for the entire episode. Yeah. After bragging, this has happened twice already. This is the third time that this has happened. You know, you can do it. You can record separate tracks from zoom on your shit. So next time we just have his backup.

I mean, I do have your audio recorded on here. You and Adam's audio recorded on here as one track though, right? As one track. I don't know how to set it to if you just record up. We can talk about after show. But if you just go on zoom on settings and you just hit record, well, let's do this. You can explain to me how to do it on the show right now because that's fun content for everybody else.

Most of the people who watch this also have their own podcast. That's true. So you want to go on settings. Yeah. So settings. Let's go to recording meetings and then speak. Oh, Adam's texting. It literally just crashed.

You don't say you wouldn't. How would we have known? Fucking asshole. Just such a fucking asshole. How am I? What am I going to do? What am I supposed to do? Spend $800 on a computer with the job that makes me so much more than that.

Literally a fucking business expense, the only business expense that I can make with my $15,000 a month paycheck. Spend $1,000 on a fucking computer, man. Yeah. Instead of destroying the show, fucking up the quality, causing a fucking headache for the guy who has to edit the thing, who then has to like, you know, he's, those are billable hours. He has to like fix all that and it adds time to the fucking show or to the edit that costs

money for the rest of us. God damn it. So what you do is on settings, recording is there's a little thing you can set for, record separate audio file for each participant who speaks. And that way we always have his fucking shitty zoom single track as a backup. Yeah. Why don't I say, I guess I just see preferences here. So preferences and then chat for recording.

Um, so my recording is that, I don't want to separate video, I don't know, keep temper. We're separate audio file. Okay. Yeah. So that way you can fucking record. You can have a recording and I can do it too if you want as a backup backup, but, um, and that way we just have, we can use that and still use ours. Yeah.

I mean, I record my shit on an SD card on the fucking board. So I mean, I'm not even recording. I'm not recording. Oh, interesting. Yeah. This what I do. I use live and then people can watch them live and then it immediately just goes on YouTube is like the show that they can watch later.

If you, if you subscribe to the Patreon, you should be able to go on YouTube and then use of the chat on like while the show is live. And then once it ends, then you can just watch it, but he says he's in the waiting room. Yeah. Well, he can wait a little longer. You can wait a little longer while we get to the bottom of just exactly what, what is going on in his mind? What could possibly be crazy that he won't just buy it.

He won't just buy it clear. And then he's like, this bullshit fucking, Oh, am I supposed to what am I supposed to buy a whole desktop and then take it back to New York? No, you buy a good laptop. You buy a good laptop or yes, you buy a desktop and then fucking leave it there or sell it there or fucking or even ship it back. Ship it back. It gives a fuck.

You have no, you have no idea how long you're going to be in quarantine. So the concern of like, I don't know how I'm going to get a desktop computer back to New York. Even if it was a $2,000 expense, it's worth it for the fucking show. Right. I bought, once this shit happened, I bought a fucking powerful ass computer because I knew we were going to be doing this shit constantly immediately. Immediately.

You try to find it. Locked down. Right. I spent $1,600 on a good ass computer, so we wouldn't have any technical problems on my end. I spent, this is our business, the $300 on fucking crowdcast over the two months with like those other things. Just to get something to know that it works, get it done, because I didn't really understand

how YouTube live works. Just spend the money, just spend the money, get it done. Good Lord. Fucking asshole. I bought $300 more RAM just to be extra short after the fact so we could run every single program. And he tries to put it on me. I'm projecting the stereo type onto him.

I have never been more aligned with you on this issue. Dude, I'm telling you, if you could have been there at that guitar center, when this fucking guy, I mean, truly unreal. Just like the next, the look on that guy's face who probably makes $12 an hour when he had to tell Adam, it's five past six. They're closed. Like, I don't know what to tell you, man. It's a telly.

It's a great price for it. It's already discounted $500. You could return it if you want. That's the price. So I don't know what to tell you. I make $11 an hour. I don't know what to tell you. Now Adam's like, let me call my friend and let me send a picture to my friend and let

me call him. This guy's like, do whatever you want. What am I supposed to do? Just buy a computer? Why don't you pawn that fucking guitar and buy a computer? That's right. You're not playing. The guitar that doesn't get played at all, ever.

God damn. Yeah. I guess we should wrap it up here. All right. All right. Well, thanks for watching. This should be just on YouTube in a second. The audio will be posted when the audio guy, if you listen to the podcast with higher quality,

at least for me and Stav, Adam's file lost for sure. No chance that that's coming back. He's calling. He'll let me put him on speaker. Yeah. He can join and speak. Hey, Adam. Is it over?

It's about to be over, pal. It's about to be over. Yeah. Oh. Yep. Remember, that's karma for talking about how good your computer is, bitch. Oh, okay. All right, talk to you later, buddy.

I'm not allowed in. No, you're not allowed in. Yeah. Why? Because it's punishment. Yeah. It's going to ruin the recording. Nick says it's going to ruin the recording, so we just got to be careful, man.

You understand? I know. What if your computer has a virus? What if your computer has a virus, dude? What do you mean? Well, look, we can't be doing these kind of things, man. I have to wrap up a podcast. Yeah, we're at work right now.

You can't get a virus from Zoom. We're at work right now, dude. You have no idea. They're saying there's papayas that got fucking coronavirus now, so you can't tell me that you can't get a virus from Zoom. I should call him back, tell him we're docking his pay. Five minutes, he was late in the beginning and we're also docking his mouth and eyelids. We're also going to be docking, I'm going to be inserting the tip of my dick underneath

the top eyelid of his face. And I will be enveloping his nose with my foreskin. Yes. All right, folks, if you want shirts, check out com.town, where there are some new things coming soon, working out the last details with that. You can check out, if you want to watch the show, live streaming with the chat on YouTube. Kinks are pretty much figured out with that. I don't know, let's fuck something up and I don't know, maybe reach out to me and let

me know because I can't check it while we're doing it. Go to the Patreon and we will post the link to the YouTube live stream at like right when it starts, which is every Wednesday at 3 p.m. and then Sundays at 3 p.m. Eastern time. You can watch. Otherwise, the recordings of the live stream will be available on the Patreon or for the regular episodes, they just get posted to the YouTube channel, which all of them get posted all over YouTube, but the R's is, if you want to subscribe to R's in particular, which I would appreciate, I guess, just because that fucking, I don't know.

It would help, yeah. It would help. If you can, if you can subscribe. The metrics, having those metrics centralized, yeah, if you can, if you want to say fuck you and fucking get the show from another person on YouTube, we really don't give a shit. It doesn't matter to us, but you would be a cool guy if you subscribed to R's. Yeah, and R's is, okay, your channel, what is the fucking URL?

How do I go? What is this URL? It is, okay, great. It's youtube.com slash channels slash uc6ext5uabrlt2e5y5bc6rtq, question mark view as equals subscribe. There's got to be a way to change that. We'll figure out how to change that. So that's, yeah, just a real simple link to remember.

I'll be doing a Twitch show on Fridays at six o'clock on Twitch and you can leave a voicemail. It's 903883stav and I'll answer your voicemail on air if you want to be a part of that. So that's six o'clock on Fridays, you little sluts. But subscribe to our fucking YouTube, buy Nick's motherfucking shirts. Tell Adam he's- Oh, here we go. Right here.

You get a custom URL. Here's how you'll look like on YouTube, youtube.com slash c slash come town stream. There you go. Can it just be come town? I don't think so. I think that's already taken by- Someone's taking it. That is already taken by somebody else.

So we are come town stream is the- You fucking pricks. It's so funny. Yeah. All right. Goodbye, everybody. All right, folks. We'll see you next time.