The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 207 – Piss of Penus

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

Pliss give me piss of pinus

Oh shit, you got flood workers on the head and flood workers in the background Nick Big respect, but this is the kind of shit we should be doing before exactly 3 p.m. Yeah Yeah for for not only future reference, but also past reference literally the last show we did Yeah, when we said hey was agreed Yeah, let's try to get this going by make sure everything's good to go by 255 It was a five minute window was all you had to do So maybe tried 253. No. No. No, 255 is fine. I think yeah

I understand it's it's Rosh Hashanah. There's other things going on. We're constantly doing different Rosh Hashanah Rosh Hashanah does anyone say like that What's Rosh Hashanah the day of atonement? Yeah, uh, no that it's the new year 15 15% off Passover is 25% off. Yeah, nice It's like different tags at a thrift store Yeah, Passover is the day that circuit city went out of business and they did an 80% off liquidation So Rosh Hashanah was the the holy day of sticks and stuff liquidating. Wow liquidating furniture. Yeah That's where Moses got all the stuff for the fucking the little

Little shit with the ram. What's that shit called? The shofar No, not the shofar didn't he have like a didn't he have like a like a treasure chest? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he had a tabernacle. What was in that motherfucker? What was in the treasure chest? I don't know some gold. They made him carry it around for 40 years. Yeah. Well, he was just in the desert Did you either you guys notice I trimmed my uh mustache? I did you you can see my mouth now. Oh, I guess that's true. Oh, yeah, you do. Yeah, you look better I trimmed the whole the eating area

So I shoved all I shoved all my hair in my mouth and then I just used the razor on to cut it out and then I spit all the hair It's fucking gross That's how you have to do it Yeah, it's weird. It looks your face looks better, but now the bottom looks like Oh, this is a place. Well, it's because it's all frayed You gotta put some oils in there daddy. I don't oil that shit I didn't I slept three hours last night. Shit. What were you up to? I don't know. I just woke up

You want some manic shit? You've been working on shirt ideas. No, no, I just didn't sleep well I'm not sleeping either. It's well, I get up at like five. We're talking about me Okay We were discussing mine. So what else is going on with you? It was rude of me. Yeah, I had breakfast this morning. That's awesome Adam Yes, put the coffee down, please Come on. I'm trying to listen to what nick had for breakfast adam. We're trying. That's true We're trying to talk about

Fud rockers here I was making fud rockers at home for breakfast and I hurt myself I haven't been sleeping well. I hurt one of my balls making fud rockers at home Hello police police police. I've hurt one of my balls making fud rockers at home. One of my testicles has been stuck in a cast iron skillet Please send your best man over here. I need I need the essential workers to come here immediately I've hurt one of my balls making fud rockers at home I was trying to make an ostrich pack

Like I was from fud rockers and it was so dried out. I threw it on the ground I was like most people in quarantine. I was missing in my my American right my constitutional right to access fud rockers I the Thomas Jefferson said I shall visit the salad bar un molested Absolutely That's true. I'm about to get the pussy from Sally and then that's in the constitution is that you're not allowed to be molested Dude, I love doing shit un molested Yeah, I hate when I'm trying to do my American rights and then someone puts a thumb in my ass When I'm trying to stop a British guy from being quartered in my house

And then somebody and then the fucking the government puts a thumb in my ass molesting me That's so annoying. Benjamin Franklin had his asshole licked by an older gentleman when he was eight And that's why you had to invent stuff. That's why he's such a fucking freak. Yeah, that's why he was like He's like fuck this shit. I'm gonna kill myself with a kite. Oh So he was mad. He was trying to get electrocuted so hard. He wasn't gonna be gay anymore for being molested Yeah, I'm gonna put the stove in the middle of the living room to kill myself and then it didn't work He's just just warmed his house just warmed his house I'm about to make milk punch to kill myself with milk and fucking booze at the same time

He hooked all of he's made it put all the port all of the wine in his house in the glasses and set up a pulley system So you could drink All the wine at once And then somebody came over like what's that? He's like, oh, it's uh my new piano. Yeah They're like, that's not a piano. It's 35 glasses of wine. He's like, yeah, no, it's uh, it's an instrument. Oh, yeah, watch this Yeah In 15 years 100 years now everybody's gonna be playing this thing Of course, it's a musical instrument. You guys don't know who Prince is but that a guy like that is gonna love it

No, no, I'm not drinking myself Now it says nothing to do with that thing I put in the Constitution about being molested Just put Hey, Ben you you keep saying at the end of every amendment you wanted to to not be molested all the founding fathers are just Get putting their personal issues in there You shall have the right to bear arms and not have your penis ridiculed by your life I don't want any of these British faggots in my house Make that rule number three. So you can't put on no more British fags sleeping on my couch

My roommate always has his British friends over and I don't No, I don't I pay rent and I'm not having they're using my xbox. I don't want them here once You know, maybe a weekend a month sure, but every day. Yeah Yeah, no British homos. Is it one of them that you can't you have to pay back alone over $20 or some bullshit? I don't know. I put that one in there Yeah, one of them is really stupid. That was Franklin Benjamin. He put that in there No, I'm a different guy. I'm different I noticed I saw that I saw that there was a sign out front that said free luncheon and I always

I just see if my name happens to be on the list anytime I pass by a free luncheon And by chance it was And so I came in here. My suggestion is that you have to you're not allowed to you have to pay your loans back Under $20 I'd listed. I'm not crazy $17 is free $17 let bygones be bygones. I'm not like one of those Jews. Is that dip for the crudité? Is there any dip for it? Can I take it home? Who let this man in here? Yeah, can I take some of the crudité dip home with me? Take whatever you want. Please leave

How about we put a thing in here that says we have to give all our money to Israel? That doesn't exist yet Okay, well, can we just remember that for later? Oh, right. I'm sorry. We haven't told you guys about that yet. My fault. Okay, well, just we'll put it in so when you read it backwards it says you have to give all your money to Israel All right, we haven't orchestrated the Holocaust yet to get Israel yet. Yes my fault The plan hasn't gone into effect It's gonna be another hundred and fifty years ahead of my bed

Franklin Benjamin Sneaking his way in For one of those legendary free lunches when they wrote the constitution. Yeah You get a pint of sam Adams and you know They have some there's deli meats out and they got a sandwich from jersey mikes What was the spread back then man? They exalted the constitutional convention. Yeah Uh, yeah, probably your shit. Did his shit cut out for you too or it's just me? No. No, I hear No, it's no it hasn't

Okay Yeah, my internet died a lot of people know this but my internet died right as we were finishing the uh Uh, last step last episode got it in just under the water through the wire We did the last episode And then ex-internet cut off because he was downloading too much salt Yeah, it sucks because it's like there's literally only one option for internet here And I mean it would almost be better if they just told you to go fuck yourself because it's like You know like what are you gonna do not have the internet at all

They got you so by the balls. It's just optimum I had a roommate that had a dispute with uh, the internet company when I lived in dc And they hung up on him because he was being too rude and we had to get, uh Cell phone internet we had to get like 4g signal into our basement apartment and it just never worked And because he refused to apologize at the cell phone company The cell phone or the internet company or the sorry the internet company. Yeah Damn, we had to get like it was the worst internet in the world. What did he say? He called the lady a stupid cunt. I was like in the room. I was like give me the phone

He's like you don't have to be such a fucking cunt about it You guys know this you guys have met this guy That's so fucking funny calling the lady a cunt He's like too proud to apologize to fucking time Warner cable or whatever So now I mean they are the worst companies, but yeah For sure. I want some fucking rcn. They don't got that shit in the story. They almost do All we have is time. What is rcn? It's some other cable shit. I don't fucking know it works better That's what people say

Yeah, my shit. Yeah, I think we're naked. I live in Brooklyn. It's only optimum. Yeah Yeah Yeah, it's just optimum Damn, dude. I'm over here drinking your little beet sludge nick Yeah, how is it? Sorry I had to respond to not bad a very important email. What was it? Um, I've been selected to participate in a survey Whoa dude for real the top prize for being the best of the survey is a girlfriend from the orient That's real dude. Is it the census? As you know, I've been I haven't been getting any pussy because of the the quarantine

Right, right, right. Yeah, the only reason is the quarantine. It's uh Yeah, the girls don't like me because it's the quarantine. They're worried that I have corona virus What's happening until? Because they heard about all the pussy I used to get they heard I got it from that from all the girls. They know about all that my my uh, philandering, right? No wife. Yeah, my swashbuckling and philandering that I used to do And so they're like man, I wish I could come give pussy, but You know, everybody's quarantined by law. Everybody's down by law Yep

And so therefore I just now I respond to spam emails So now you've got a survey that's usually sent out to guys It was funny to imagine is like some like Like 52 year old man who's like new to computers just responding pissed off to every single spam email he gets like You must think I was born yesterday To fall for this free Ray-Ban sunglasses. I'll have you know, I don't know you from Tom Dicker Harry, but I've been I've worked at fucking batteries plus for 25 years And if you think that a district manager of my caliber and esteem

Would fall for well, I got a Brooklyn bridge to sell you pal And let me tell you it's just a fucking robot Just emailing robots all day long A bridge would be nice to own. I know that saying I got a bridge to sell you But wouldn't it be cool to own a bridge? Wow You could just fucking sit up there by yourself. Nobody fucking Like you get pussy from the girls on the bridge. You get pussy on the bridge. Yeah, there's a lot of options

You could sponge you could bungee jump off it You'd have to deal with them damn trolls underneath the bridge. Well, you get to shoot whatever troll under the bridge Dude, I wish I could shoot my trolls. Yeah, that's for damn sure, brother Are you being trolled Adam? Do you have people trolling you? I don't know not really. I don't think so. I mean always Nothing nothing too Yeah, nothing out of the ordinary I feel you don't just your average, you know

Just get it go to the To the camps. Who's that thing that yogi bear would say just your average Fucking bear. Didn't he say something like that smarter than your average bear? That's what I don't remember that I remember the picnic basket. Um, but um, just some I'm a fucking just a bear over here I'm a fucking bear. I'm a regular ass fucking bear. I'm just a fucking stop. Um, just fucking don't look at me That's what he said, right? Don't make fucking eye contact with me. Don't fucking Don't piss me off What was yogi bears

I would love to have a trivia show where you don't have to get the answer, right? You have to guess whatever I'm thinking That's good. I like whatever. Okay. Yeah You know, it's like you don't say anything. Yeah I think you just sitting there Yeah Someone's like, um, you want lunch? No get off the show You're off Yeah episode 52 over no winners. No winners and we're gonna have your balls. The money is burned

Money's burned. Yeah in front of children. You're just sitting on a pile of money. That's what dying children. They just love cash They just we're going into children's hospitals bringing cold hard cash the kids with cancer I'm just opening a briefcase on some just slamming it down on the hospital bed. My lungs My lungs Shut up and smell the cash Cold hard cash you got by being a pussy You better open this guy's fucking thinks of what I'm thinking of yeah when we got back from Iraq We knew we wanted to do something with either charity or coffee

The problem with both is that they're both gay All the coffee has been unfagged by other veterans So we do we do we do make a wish but Fuck you style charity So we're going to show these kids how they would get treated if they were in Iraq They have to be born in Iraq instead of America. They were one of us One of the devil brothers Devil brothers from hell have come back from hell doing hell shit

To say to save good white children white meaning American not white nationally white We don't mean racially white. It's not racist Look, you asked me brother as long as you as long as you're fucking And you got one hand up towards the American flag. You're white to me. I mean this the one the way we do I mean the one that we're supposed to do Whoops whoops. No, I'm not a Nazi psych. Yes. I am. Nope psych It's part of my just kidding mentality I don't know those kinds of guys were that big kidders

Yeah, you know those guys are hilarious. They're some of the funniest guys Part of my just just kidding lifestyle Yes, sir, you never know when i'm joking around Let's say yeah, we're in Iraq. You really learned how to laugh for the first time. Yeah At all the suffering just bringing bringing a fucking Humvee to a kid who's got leukemia You're like get in it's yours. Where's John Cena? It's yours. John Cena is behind you pushing you Making you step on the accelerator. Let's do 95 into 30

That's not John Cena. You got to prove that you're not a P. U. S. Y I'm getting cold Yeah, it's because your blood sucks Because you got nothing, but what do you got in those veins? You got fucking menstrual fluid in there What's this? What's this bag? We got a big old bag of pussy fluid here. What is that from your mama's pussy? Why don't you man up this shit? Yeah, we're taking the lessons that chris kyle taught us to save these kids from cancer by being By doing exactly what they need which is some tough love jenny jones boot camp style

Uh-huh, they're gonna boot camp jenny jones jenny jones. Okay today. We're talking to eight-year-olds who have cancer We're gonna straighten them out. We got marine kyle coming in And boot camp kyle is gonna tell these kids what for you know What do you think you're doing pussy? Do you want to grow up to be a pussy? Stop having cancer now drop and just stop having cancer. Just stop Hold my pocket. Yeah None of this no chemotherapy for you, bitch Coming up my girlfriend's unscared not having cancer anymore. We're taking we're taking white kids to jail

You suck my dick till you ain't got cancer no more That's what i'm gonna do to you. I would love I'd love that just the guys they get for scared straight They're like sexual predators. They're like, yeah All right, listen up fellas Just tension real quick. Hey mark is quiet down. So we got an elementary school coming to the prison A couple of the kids are pretty bad. We need to know who is willing to threaten to rape and murder children to their face So they stop uh stealing gift cards from best buy Or that they do their homework

We need to impose lasting permanent psychological trauma on these kids And document it on video and replay it so that throughout their life, you know when they check the tv guide listings They'll remember the day that they were verbally sexually assaulted It'll go into syndication who's well boys got an extra dorito packet for you I remember they did that remake of scared straight and they had one They had this like little blackhead and they these guys like threw him into a bathroom stall and it's like two grown men And this kid's like five feet And they're like when you win here now, you can't do nothing

What are you gonna do? We can have all the way with you know, they're just to describe They're saying that they could like rape him in the bathroom stall and he's just like crying I saw one where a kid like yeah, well he I bet he'll never I better never tell the teacher to shut up after He'll never take paper clips without permission anymore Now that I said I was gonna put my thumbs in his ass and spread him open Yeah, that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna put a speculum down his throat And then drip and get the paraplegic guy the paraplegic gang member. We're gonna beat him off and let him drip nut down your throat

Wheelchair guy We use I saw one where a kid actually swung on someone and he basically called their bluff. He's like you can't hurt me And then you just swung on somebody It's pretty funny actually wasn't there one maybe we talked about on the show where Uh, there's like a british version of this where they did not really Do any homework and they sent a guy in there and he did get raped

What yeah No, I think we talked about this like a year a child the british people they get raped at like regular private school That's so funny that you you like You could go to private school in britain and get like there's a good chance. You'll get raped right Oh, you know and then you have to be in it your rapist. Well, and then you have to be an adult or whatever And then like you're trying to navigate your life. You run away from your stupid fucking rich family And you're like slumming it and fucking

Maybe that's why they had them in chester bait everywhere Chester bread or dory burg or wherever the fuck, you know don Uh-huh northern english town you end up in yep, and people are like, oh you went to private school Is giving you a hard time and yeah, you must add it real easy That's why I left So I left to be adam senior That's my origin story Dude, uh, you think that's why they invaded india because they were like I have to go

I'm getting away from here. Where's the farthest place? Mm-hmm. They just got tired of getting raped. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna go down there. I'm gonna put a big feather on my head I'm gonna be an indian guy I'm gonna rape them that'll show them. I'll bugger them. I'll rape them Man raped by inmates during scared straight prison tour British columbia. Oh, we're gonna pull that up. Oh, so that's in canada. Oh, yeah Yeah, we talked about this before but still it was in terms of probation in the late 1970s And I think we can squarely put that man in the owned category. Yeah, boom

It was in the late 1970s So it's probably I feel like there was more rapes happening in the late 70s and mid to mid 80s than any other decade in history You think that was rape. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, that was that was the uh That was the hangover from the free love golden age late 60s. Yeah, the golden age of rape The free love generation was followed by the golden age of rape. Yeah It is the time to get raped in prison We're raping everyone

Yeah, that's some 70s style sucking peanuts eating asshole Oh You know, I'm just a child of the 60s, you know getting raped in jail Just the free love movies are the forced love movement of the 1960s. Yeah, I used to drive my vw bug We got to beat me and a couple of guys rate of vw bus and we'd go around Pick it up, you know, just just fellow lost traveler souls and we time down in the back and we'd uh, we'd have our way with them Yeah, we put it. We've usually put a shotgun in his mouth or in his ass and Whatever the shotgun wasn't in we put our dicks in it was kind of a whole scene, man. It's like the a team, but

But our version of the a team that's going around raping veterans Kind of the same theme there The same thing We talked about it involves a bang bus in each of them Remember how people you said they say like rape van all the time and it was just because of uh Silence of the lambs He had a van that he raped people in I believe yeah, he gets the fact he picked up fact roll up. He's like, can you help my arms fucked up?

Can you fucking help me put this uh couch in the back of my van? She's like, oh, yeah, of course. I'll help the stranger 10 p.m. And he's like, oh, we either if you are get my van I would see it like I said Really what you should watch it dude. It's a baltimore classic. Yeah setting baltimore. Well, yeah, actually yes Hannibal lector is the insane asylum. It's said it's said in the mid-Atlantic So it's all from like virginia. I think it goes like southern virginia to Up the baltimore, but I forget where it ends because buffalo bill is in like Ohio

Oh, yeah, Hannibal lector Hannibal lector is from baltimore and he's oh nice. He's in an insane asylum in Maryland Fuck yeah, maybe I will watch it I'm thinking on saturdays. I'm gonna do a thing where I watch three movies That's my saturday move. So maybe I want to watch Constantine I want to watch with keanu reeves where he goes to hell No, that's cool. I want to watch a little nicky Yeah, oh, that's a class. That's fucking classic. I saw somebody post about you're doing you're doing the hell series I think yeah, I think I'm gonna do the hell series. So what's the third house?

So, okay, I can't do end of days end of days End of days end of days is a great pick really who's in that? Arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger Hell yeah, dude. I'm it's done. Was that his comeback after governator Was end of days or did that come out before I think six days came out before that Whatever no end of days end of days was what my penis is six inches exactly I thought that was his first movie after governator 1999 yeah, end of days came out before six days. They come out six days was probably what 2001

Is it a banger or is it like some old Arnold shit? The sixth day is two thousand six days two thousand fucking end of days is 1999 Oh, you should also watch spawn I've seen spawn though. You should watch the HBO spawn miniseries Okay, starring james gandalfenians as as antonio spawn Antonio spawner ready. Yeah Spawn Antonio spawned ducio

Hey, I'm fucking in hell hell's different than it used to be You know, is how you how used to be it's different now We stuff guys like say thing eight off head. Look Now it's Jeffrey. Yep, Steve Oh, he's child molots as a child molest these she is Who is the honor now? Where's honor? Where's the guys that used to kill a bunch of jews? Now it's the fucking jews not a jews are down here, too Where's the ethnic cleansing now? We got jews in here. Where's jewish l you know used to be my people that ruin this neighborhood

We used to be the ones doing all the crime And they got other people they got other guys moving in here doing a different type of crime Used to be a respectable place you could go around breaking people's knees and demanding money from milk vendors Now now look at it. It's somebody doing heroin and minding their own business and listening to music. I don't like Now it's a different it's just they fucked it up down hill. It's Nobody's camera rising blue collar workers just trying to make a living barely getting by You know like we doing that to have mistresses to also beat like their wives. Yeah Because we brought that's something we brought over from the old country

Literally the only piece of culture we retained is the worst aspect of No, I don't speak the language to do chileo. No Yeah, no, no and when I do I speak it worse than somebody who's in a the first First first class you could ever take on italian I speak it worse than if you just showed a mentally Incapacitated person italian and asked them to guess how it's pronounced. I speak it worse than m You could shove uh spaghetti up of an aged patient's ass and have him shit it out and would sound more like italian Spoken in italy then the way that I pronounce capicola then me trying to fumble my way through a sandwich menu

It's true most of their italian is sandwich based. Yeah Well, I'll tell you what um This is exciting exciting news folks. Uh, I love you Uh, I I I need to I need to do re-up my underwear. Wow. Oh And so I thought should I buy underwear or should I talk to our old friends at mac welden and just get some underwear from them Okay, and what did you do and then well I talked to them and they said yes We'll send you some and then I think they forgot but I am eagerly awaiting my mac welden underwear because

The one the one pair I did get from them I ended up because they gave you know, you get like a little credit or whatever To be a sponsor and then I think I blew it on like socks or something I only got one pair of the actual underwear, but they're great underwear. I'm ready to throw out all of the underwear I have this is great news too. I'm glad they're back on the team because I have shit my pants twice during the quarantine. Oh, and I don't know how exactly I've managed to do that You know, it's maybe a lot of fruits and vegetables. It's so funny because it's like I kind of like I have this attitude of like I don't shit my pants

But the other day it's like I went to shit and like just at complete liquid and It's like it was one of those ones where I'm like, I should probably sit on the toilet It might be gas, but I should probably sit on the toilet to be safe And it's just I've like just I've just hit my numbers every time, you know And that's the nice thing about mac welden is that you can't shit in them. It's impossible. It's impossible It's impossible mac welden was it was originally a diaper company and then they thought Everyone knows that they thought

They thought well, what if we could actually prevent people from shitting their pants in the first place And so there's actually dangerous chemicals Yeah, if shit is released your cock will dissolve. Yeah, there's actually second you shit It's dangerous chemicals that go up your asshole when you put on the underwear that seal everything permanently Which actually makes them great if you're ever headed to prison Because uh, it'll uh Yeah, you know, if you're about to be scared straight put on a pair of mac welden. You can't be Sodomized uh while wearing mac welden underwear

I guarantee it You're gonna like the way you're not getting right you're gonna like you're gonna like not being right That's the mac welden promise I guarantee Yeah, no, honestly, I'm sitting here and I wish I had I wish I had the uh that I was wearing mac welden underwear right now Um, and I don't you know, I just want to get rid of I hate the underwear that I have and it hurts my balls That's tough. You don't want that My balls hurt from my underwear

I've constantly hurt my balls trying to make flood rockers at home Oh, I'm gonna ask them anything to do with the flood rockers. Yeah, and so I need mac welden underwear to fix my balls You're putting your balls in peril too often, man. Yeah, they really do. I mean all jokes aside It is a very nice pair of underwear. I tried it on. I'm like, oh, you know, because it's like one of those things You know before the like the podcast took off. It's like, oh, I need bed sheets. So I guess I'll buy Like uh the cheapest fucking piece of shit. I guess I'll buy extra large garbage bags Because I mean literally until two years ago. I didn't know there was a difference between things Like I didn't I didn't like it did not occur to me that there was possibly

A nicer, you know, like my dishware was always like fucking like somebody threw out a bunch of forks You have like seven seven forks and one knife Yeah, you know the good and then all the forks that they like are coming disconnected from the handle That was my setup like fucking plates that were designed for children that come from broken homes to play house with You know like not even real play like make-a-believe. Yes pre-k place Yeah, eating off that or whatever Yeah, so yeah, my my my approach to underwear was very similar You know, you get the fucking joe box or 36 pairs of underwear including an extra one just in case

Just in case 36 in a bag wasn't enough You're gonna refresh if you if you're not necessarily potty trained. These are the But anyways, they're disposable basically. Yeah, but that that mac welding shit, man. I'll tell you it's that's nice Cradles your nuts gorgeously feels good on your ass cheeks Yes, I love having my ass cheeks slicked up by a nice pebble back well Oh, yeah, I said it's the home grown down here in Louisiana all the cottons Cotton never touches a pair of hands. There's a man goes through the field Got his butt cheeks out and just rubs it

Glooves up his butt cheeks and just runs through the field and all the cotton has done stick to him That's how you know God smiled on his ass and said these are that's the cotton for your underwear And that's how we that's how mac welding sources all of their cotton. Yeah, and and feet now going on 25 years Is that it has been complete the entire process not a single stage involved slave labor Nope, it's just glue between a man's ass cheeks since 1995. We are 100 slave It's the owner of the company glue but super glue that boy super glue up his ass now He is a retard boy. I'll let you know that that is true by law. You ain't gotta pay you didn't know he is not Oh

He is allowed his god given freedom to run butt cheeks out through that field Which is don't that's how that's how you know god smiled on him the ultimate form of payment for that He found his way into a position as the butt cheek boy And louis in is number one other welcome if you are if you are if you are um Have mental disabilities your number one goal in life is to pick cotton with your ass How about george zimmer, but he's like, you know, he's got like nipple clamps on it's like a little leather hat And he's new rising his penis is out. It's men's bear house. Yes, and he's like Fuck me in my ass

Yep, I get no guarantee or and we're back to mac weld Yeah, they got underwear the underwear is good they got a bunch of other shit like I said I blew the money on socks And the socks they got those pants socks are good, but that's the other thing too is like, you know, I just buy the cheaper socks I didn't know All their shit's nice. They got you upgrade your shit, bitch. Get some mac weldies. Oh shit. Here. This is new They got a new adjustable storm chaser rain jacket. Whoa. I don't know. I don't know what adjustable means Does that mean it has a zipper? Yeah, has a zip first time ever. It's a jacket

It has a zipper. They're fucking around with the zipper technology. You can adjust it for being closed and open. Yeah The storm chaser. Mm-hmm. Like you're in the movie twister They actually have another line of a jacket. It's called the bug chaser and the atom has that one. Yeah. Yes. It's true I do have that it goes it kind of it buckles Like a baby's onesie Under your balls and ass and actually there's a hole in the ass part. That's what the and it chaser is It's got a slot where you can put your safe word. If you forget it, you can pull it out And say it. Yeah. Also, you can zip it all up and only have your eyes

It's a gimp suit. Yeah, it's a gimp suit. But it's it's mac patented mac pack madden mac welded It's got silver ion technology antimicrobial. Yeah, antimicrobial Um, antimicrobial adjustable storm chaser rain jacket These are really this is the longest lasting highest quality items on the market. Shit I love that kind of shit. Yeah, I love items and I love it when they're the longest lasting When they're on the market and they're the longest lasting on the market, you know me dude. I'm a player I'm a straight up player. I love the game. I'll fucking stroll into the market I'm spending my time piece around my penis is pulled through the fly my zoot suit

And it's swinging back and forth to the tick of my clock very nice Oh, you have them set up so the clock and the cock. Yeah, or are synthetic together, baby And people are like, hey man, nice cock. Where'd you get that zoot suit? And I say mac welden.com. Yep And then and then they go on there. You're like, I don't see zoot suits on here and you're like I meant something else, but the check on the jacket. Check. I forgot to put the jacket I was wearing the the suits nice because I was raining earlier and I had the storm chaser jacket on protecting my time piece In my cock. That's right in my suit. So that's but check them out. So just check them out anyway though. Yeah, check them out Yeah, they got really good stuff. Yeah, they got good stuff

Your dick's just chafing it's bleeding because of the zipper. Yeah What's the word chopper Anybody know what time it is I can't look at my clock because then I can't spin it anymore I want to look at it, but I'd rather keep spinning it if I get it took 20 minutes to get my cock and sink with my time piece It's hard. It's like doing double Dutch if I stop I'm afraid my penis will fall off my penis might fall off. It's fake My real penis is as much as a nub You're so smart. I was just glued to attach it to you. Yeah, I stole some butchie glue off a retard boy and glued up

fake cock here I'm the mascot of Mack Weldon the spy versus spy guy with his dick out Guy versus guy Yeah, it's too gay guys trying to suck each other's dick. It's just like they're they're This is spy versus spy guys and they're got binoculars on they're trying to see each other's dicks They're on a separate buildings trying to look at each other's cocks There's this how does spy versus does one win does the white one win? I have no idea There's a go back and forth imagine being a roadrunner

Whoever came up with that shit that guy got it made That and and the dude who came up with a no fear pissing boy Yeah, yeah Calvin and Hobbes. Yeah, whatever that nobody knows what it's from but the boy is pissing I straight up didn't know that that was Calvin It's cal. It's it's very clearly Calvin Calvin and I didn't know for you. I knew him as the boy pissing for years Yeah, I didn't know about Calvin and Hobbes pissing boy and cat Uh comic it's fine. Just be like a just like a heck reading Calvin. I'd be like, where's he gonna start pissing on shit? A boy doing nothing he's gonna piss on a tiger

Where's he going? I've known him about from the pissing stuff, man That's what got me into this. He hasn't pissed on a Chevy logo once if you watch a preview for a movie That's got a boy and he's done pissing on shit like the words fear, you know Uh fucking Chevrolet and that's being pissed all over and you watch the movie and it's some gay shit about imagination Brother, I'm about to do a James Holmes in the movie And that's all a bumper sticker is it's a preview for the movie of whatever the thing is And that's that's today's sermon for you. I'll see y'all next Sunday

That's I'll see you guys. I'll see y'all amen. Thank you. Yeah promo. What was the promo code for mack walden? Oh, we're still doing it. We're still doing it. They believe in smart design premium fabrics and simple shopping Yes, most comfortable underwear socks shirts under shirts hoodies and sweatpants and more That you'll ever wear More you hear that Like regular pants, not even sweat. Yeah Yeah What if we made condoms

for a part of people Know what you're thinking Do they how would that work don? I don't know Are they thicker or are they thinner shut up? Yeah, well, they have like a safety safety elements. Just shut the fuck up Yes, sir. Just everyone shut up It should be a safer condom. Yeah, what are you here silence? And what do we do in silence? We don't know Don. I'm I'm asking you I've kind of run out of steam here

I've to be quite honest with you. I'm trying to get fired Lucky strikes put them in a shot of man's ass. Yeah Because if I got fired I would spend all of my time at home having sex Yes, Matt. Well, most comfortable. They want you to be comfortable So if you don't like your first pair of underwear, you can keep it and they will still refund you. That's that's oh, yeah Silver line. I forgot, you know, we do the other reads and there's so much bullshit in the fucking talking points They're like, it's the best next bullet point. It's also good. You know, it's like, yeah Do I have to read all this shit? Anyways, but this is there is they do have the good shit

Macworld is just the facts kind of company. Yeah, right. The silver underwear and shirts that are naturally anti-microbial Which means they make your dick look bigger. So big. They're anti-micropenis seal Which means They shrink your thighs somehow make you look big. Yeah, they want you to be comfortable So if you don't like your first pair underwear, you can keep it and they will still refund you. No questions asked That's a free pair of underwear and they're good underwear too. You you could just you could scam them You could just get the underwear and be like, yeah, I don't fucking like it I don't like it

And then you get it for free uh Oh, and this is now we got Mack Weldon really does value its little customers. They've created the Weldon blue loyalty program Wow Well, if you scam, then you can't be in the loyalty program what this shit doesn't need to have a name. I'm sorry Just you can say sign up for an account and you get a discount, right? That's it You don't the Mack Weldon blue lives matter program the Mack Weldon for the cops

I like to get my dick Weldon blue Cut off all circular tie a tie my underwear around my dick and get it Weldon blue Who's that racist children's band Prussian blue? Is that it? Yeah, Prussian blue. Yeah, they're racist children's playing Yeah, but then they went I think they went rasta They went anti-racist. They went they stopped being racist and then they went rasta. Fuck. Yeah. Ross pretty sick. Very cool Um, Mack Weldon really does value its loyal customers. Yeah, that's why they created the Weldon blue loyalty program like the opposite of Montez Yahoo. Yeah, my he does not value his customers they

They created an account It's totally free level one placed in order for any amount and never pay for shipping again. Oh, that's cool Oh That's here that nick now now you mad it has a name. Yeah, I still think the name's a bad idea These are great benefits level one you get a place in order for any amount you never pay for shipping again Level two once you first 200 dollars for the products of Mack Weldon Not only will you continue to receive free shipping? But you also start saving 20 on every order you make for the next year

That actually is also And level two also grants you access to new products before they're released to anyone else as well as free gifts added to future orders They better give us access to those I'm trying to be level two if I have to read all this bullshit Then I'm better being the Weldon blue loyalty. I'm gonna try to be well. I got my balls nice and Weldon blue. Yeah Why don't you how about the me loyalty program? How about you get you can do my program and then I can get free access I want the next jacket. Yeah, I want the wind. I want the parka I want the pussy chaser the pussy chaser. Yeah

Uh Yeah, the pussy chasing jacket, uh personal experience Oh We talked about that. Yeah, okay. All right, so let's see here where the fuck is Uh the promo No, I'm yeah, I'm looking for the promo code Here we go for 20 off your first order visit macworld.com and enter promo code come town 20 That's c u m t o w n 20

Um, if we had we probably had an older promo code. This one is come town 20 come town 20, bitch. Use that one. Yeah Use that one or suck this dick because they gotta suck cold steel. They gotta check. They gotta check all this shit for Metrics or something but c u m t o w n 20 And you get 20 off your first order Which you spend $200 and you get 20 off all your fucking shit Pshh That's really good. So spend $200 get 20 off And then you get 20 for the rest of your fucking life. Damn. I love doing this. I wish I could just be on qvc

Me too, bro. I'm gonna start drinking. If I get a qvc show and start drinking again Just being like What you fucking see this shit? It's a fucking magnet on your refrigerator But you take it off and it's an elevator lift for your shoe I'm coming here. I'm coming home. I'm always losing. I'm coming home from a long day of being five foot six and a half at the office and I see my I see my son for a minute for him to respect me

I take it out. I'm five foot three and then I guess who's putting now It's my turn to be proud and I'm putting his homework up on the refrigerator call Such a beautiful now 15 payments 85 99 families together 87 99 a week for 13 years The entire collection of magnets can be yours. You call now. We're throwing in this lightsaber. I found the salvation army We got one kind of homeless man shit all over the first caller gets the complimentary Life say life's labor from salvation army, which I'm being told is actually just part of a an amour. It's the It's not a lightsaber. It was it was a clothing rack and a piece of wood But what I like to call it is we call it the imagination

Shaft Because it can be a light Okay, we're always drinking. We're always thinking of stuff here at qvc that could be different It could be different. There could be different things. That's a thing the key to qvc Q but a lot of people don't even know qvc stands for They say q how many words start with q queen queer quality yeah Quality vagina chomping. Is that what it stands for?

I don't actually know Quality vagina. I just show up and they pay me seven hundred thousand dollars a year I don't know fucking they got good pussy on qvc honestly. Yeah, I've tried all of it The five three lifts guy fucks every everybody That guy runs qvc He runs Just getting pussy from every bitch selling her mop. Yeah her cake pan. Oh, yeah No, we're all drunk. I'd like to see them try to meet to me

The police are calling qvc and they're like are you a woman? Are you working at qvc call now? In the next 15 minutes if you report a rape, you'll be able to accuse three men for free Yeah, you can try me bitch qvc's in international waters. Yeah, we're in an island floating off the coast Actually, we're in studio city Shut up shut up shut up man. They think they think the culver city is international I've convinced all the women here that international waters. It means any body of water. So if they're pussies wet, there's no laws Yeah, nobody's ever wet. Yeah fucking five three and you're committing rape I'm trying I'm trying to get I'm trying to get some international waters. You know what I'm saying

Sorry, your mic is on. This is a hot mic situation. Yeah, I know I'm talking into it You're talking into the mic. You're admitting all your crimes on television right now. I'm so drunk I've been broadcasting collapsible ladders in Tupperware for 47 hours straight And when we go to commercial break I've been I got much of this little airport shooters And I'm trying to look look behind look behind the craft services desk. There's a fucking pile of them three and a half feet tall There's flu shots. Yeah, I'm trying to die on air

I'm trying to do I'm doing like a leaving qvc moment Yeah, that's beautiful. You know, I told that chinese girl. I said you wouldn't be my elizabeth shoe And she's like, I don't know what you're talking about. You smell off. You smell terrible. Yeah, please leave me alone. Yeah Who is elizabeth shoe? She's the girl from leaving Las Vegas. She's the girl from leaving Las Vegas the qvc guy is drinking himself to death and It did while filming qvc And he's like he's like maybe you can be my The only the reference only exists in his head. No one knows it. Yeah. So she's like, what do you mean?

I've never seen leaving Las Vegas. She hasn't either. You're the chinese girl Oh nice because you both have small small genitalia That's not true. It is true. I agree with you. Nick. That's yeah, what the hell was that? I didn't say that. Yeah, sounds like you agree with me No, I don't yeah What is that? Well, I just said stop at a small penis and stop said I agree with you. Nick. No, I don't What? Yeah, I mean I do not agree with you. Yeah, I think stop sounds like I do

But that shows growth for you hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. What? No You got him back there, buddy. No, what? Actually, I don't agree with you. I just you know right now Because you only get one chance to answer Okay Okay, I agree with you. Nick. No, I don't I don't I'm sorry, man, but we all heard you you said you agree with me and it was uh, well, okay Let me ask you this is Adams penis small Yes, I agree with you. Nick. I agree with you. Nick. No, that's

You can't say that Maybe I can't judge that he can he can say that I agree with you. Nick. Yep. I agree that I can say that Thank you, Nick. I don't think there's a reason to use this button if it seems you're gonna agree I like that it exists though You got to add a psych at the end to cancel it out A psych would be good for your purposes not that I want to give you more arrows in the quiver But anytime I say anything where I'm like my dig isn't small you could say psych afterwards Yeah, I'm gonna bring that soundboard back and use it against you. Yeah, that makes sense. That's my that's my my campaign strategy

For what what are you running for the summer of sound? No, I mean like a military campaign. Oh, okay. Nice Fuck yeah operation Hagen-Daz When I don't I don't even like it that when I turn against stop But only to curry favor with Adam and then once Adam lets his guard down blammo That's The final move That's good to know man now that you've tipped your hand now that I can now I'll go to the fucking

Artillery shack and get more fucking guns than you actually Damn, I'm gonna get a big gun. Yeah I wish I had I should get a better soundboard That's a good soundboard the boss only got three buttons now because it was six But three of the slots are used up for the usb to get the sound back from Interesting. I feel like you know with this quarantine shit I've gone through cycles where it's like, you know and everyone does where first there's maybe like a slight novelty to it You know, you know, everything is fucked for sure and you feel selfish for being like oh, this is

Kind of cool kind of tight. Yeah, even though it's like it's it's not tight It's just that there's a change and it's exciting because life is For like a week. It feels like a vacation. Yeah, it's staycation. Yeah, I don't know if it's like camping out at your house Vacation, it's like, let's see what's gonna happen. I guess and then I guess yeah that goes away and then there's like frustration And now I think I'm dead I don't think I accept this. Yeah, I just I don't feel anything Hey, that's a great stage to get to honestly. I'm jealous of that. Yeah Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like you add or nick you're kind of the way every woman that fucks atoms

The fucks atoms pussy feels I agree with you nick You agreed with yourself. That's not that power because nick nodded Oh, so I agree with him agreeing with me. I agree with you nick Okay And you're all right Oh, we're so to be clear what every woman's pussy the fucks atom feels is what do you guys tea partying or What do you guys tea partying or agreeing with each other when we got a couple guys that's some sort of tea party Fox news boys over here

Why are we the tea party? I don't get it. I don't know why I said I thought tea partying is I think it's wasn't it from the game, uh, No four square. What what are we doing over here? It's very good. A couple of tea four square and seven years ago Adam's dick. I thought a tea party was when two people in of the four Bounced back and forth between the two of them. You call the tea party four inches and seven millimeters. Oh, I got the wrong wrong speech Sorry, everybody, uh It was a letter to Uh, a friend of mine

who measures things It's not it. Uh Hmm. Anyways, uh, slavery's bad Slavery's bad. I'm Abraham Baloraco Lincoln. Bama. My name is Abraham Who's saying Lincoln?

It's true. He wasn't a muslim love To fuck my friend's thighs Yeah, I was putting blubber on my friend's thighs and fucking it like it's a pussy. It's funny. It's like for a second They're struggling and I'm like, I'm like fuck. What does Abraham Lincoln sound like and it's like, oh, I have no idea Who cares? Yeah, I was like, I was like, why can't I do an impression Abraham Lincoln? I can't even like he sounds like he had a high-pitched voice. So he sounded like you I agree with you, Nick Okay

You didn't need a button he would have just said it No, apparently he had a high-pitched voice. Yeah, you know that because of Daniel Day-Lewis No, but yeah, that's why I learned it obviously. Yeah, well, but they like, uh, doesn't count as knowledge if you learned it from a movie That's not true. Yes, it is I learned a lot of stuff from movies Herbie fully loaded. There's a lot of good information in that like what? I don't I don't ever even saw

a rich liar Fucking liar with a little ass dick Herbie the love bug He was the reboot with uh, Lindsay. Yeah, low hand. I mean the car drives up like the golden gate bridge That's pretty cool. Didn't that happen? I don't know. I always wanted to do that Would you like it nick if you had a best friend who was a car? I'm not gonna answer that question. It's insulting The answer is of course you the fuck the fuck does that even mean you would love to have you would love a situation

So I just I am the it's in a world where there's anthropomorphic cars one of them happens to be my friend Your best friend. Honestly, no Why not because you want to drive it? Well, I like cars and they don't need to be people that I can have conflict with There would be no conflict. It's your best friend. It's your best friend. You guys get along great No, you know, everybody has conflict with friends minor conflicts. We get over with your best friend Yeah, I just don't want to have to like bitch the other cars being like well that's It's not even really that big of a deal, but like they won't fucking let it go

And I'm not gonna let it go So now we just have to pretend to fucking still be mad for days on end even though we're both exactly 35 years old This is very illuminating of what you feel of what you think your relationship with your best friend is like What you need is like a second best friend car who tells you and the car that the other one is really sorry But too proud to admit it Kind of maybe a Jewish intermediary car Maybe What kind of cars do they make in Israel?

But the problem is is that that car would just run out of gas if it weren't for the other two cars Towing it around town constantly. That's true. It's ran out of gas 10 years ago. I agree with you That car yeah, that car hasn't had an engine in it since 2012 But every once in a while you can come in handy Yeah, that's true Yeah, I suppose if I had that dynamic, then yeah, that would be nice I had two cars They was like kind of complimented each other. There was like a system. Yeah, that would be fine

That would be nice Yeah, I would like to have a car like kit from nightrider, dude. Yeah There's pussy over here. Stop Rose. Mr. Feeny. Yeah Yeah There's a girl that wants a psycho penis over here. Stop Rose That would be invaluable information to have for my car What are you drinking, Adam? I love the paintbrush out Michael. I can fill your penis on the seats. It feels great

Is your penis getting harder Michael? Uh kit, uh What the fuck Kit that's pretty fucked up that you would do that Michael Michael are you they have your underwear off Because I can fill your balls on the seat. It feels great Michael I love the way your balls so good when you're driving around naked the way your balls stick to my leather seats It feels great. It feels really good Michael What a sick theme song dude

Cool shorts there balls are sitting kind of strange in them. It kind of feels good Michael I'm gonna raise the seat up so it touches your penis more If it's all right with you Michael, I'm gonna turn the seat warmers up so your nuts expand and there's more surface area To touch my seat I think it was mr. Feeny can you hear that? Yeah, yeah, so badass Hey Oh hell yeah Hey

Damn this shit rocks Oh, shit, I think currency did uh, he sampled this Yeah, shit rocks. Yeah That's one of the best the best theme songs all the time Probably one of them That one they watch this they watch is a good theme song They watch is solid for sure the hill street blues theme song might be my favorite theme song I don't know it off the top of my dick. Look at it. How did that sound that come through loud and clear?

Yeah, yeah It only cut off the way your shit cuts off for some reason we still it was better last couple weeks But it's still getting back to that for some reason Uh, well yours is doing it also Well, maybe you fuck you actually What is this it's a fucking ad for for province sound massachusetts I don't know it's some jerry brockheimer show high town On stars. I just deleted the stars. I somehow like once every six months. I find out I've been paying stars

Just hundreds of dollars You're like an elite member somehow. No, I had to fucking delete the subscription and then six months later stars is like, what's up? What's up? Actually, it's no. Yeah. No. Yeah. No, I came I just went outside for a cigarette. I've been I was here You're like trying to fire up Spartacus the fuck is this? Yeah I'm not paying for fucking because I I watched five minutes of space jam before I don't want my stars membership Hmm

Is wait till it gets going Yeah, okay, this is an awesome one Shit this camera on could do something with this for sure. I think he may have actually It sounds familiar Yep from Harlem streets. That's right. That's why I know this. That's right. I don't actually know this one I've never seen the show. Yeah, the show's good too. Yes, dude Yes, I'm playing you guys can't hear but I'm playing the camera one camera on It's fucking awesome. It basically they basically didn't touch it at all. It's the best. He's funny. Are the most comedians

For sure. He's so well, I'm trying to think of other other good seem songs I Honestly neon Genesis The anime I watched has a pretty banger of a theme song. I have to admit um Yeah, night writer is too good of a theme song for the show. It's incredible But it belongs to awesome Yeah, it's sick. Oh the Miami Vice theme is great, but that's all yeah, it's also a good show

You know, it's better than that is the other jen hammer song Crockets theme From from the show from the show, but it's also it's not the main theme. It's this one Fuck you Liberty Mutual Liberty penis No, fuck you. Fuck YouTube. Fuck YouTube shit. Yeah, they're like do you get to the thing where it's like Do you want to watch nine ads now or watch them throughout the video? And it's like, are you threatening me? How about I just don't watch this video. Yeah, fuck you. I'll steal this somehow

Yeah, oh, you know, it's a good theme song Feel free to disagree duck tails. Duck tails is a classic. Yeah Duck tails That what is it the fatal farm video? That's what that in my memory. What a great. What is that? Don't tell him. He's not All right, the fact that he doesn't already know about it and we've talked about it on this We played it on the show like three years ago. Yeah Yeah, it's I don't remember fucking three months ago. Yeah, you don't remember anyone else's jokes

In a week Save space in a week. You'll say you know, it'd be really funny if you did a video where The girl from duck tails gets kidnapped by the weasels and she's She's held and sexually assaulted dude. We played it. I I watched it. Okay. Now. I remember it now. I remember it now I remember it's awesome. Yes, duck tails Oh, I am gay suck my dick and eat my ass and fuck me in my ass I can't wait to suck it on me. Don't fuck me. Fuck me in my ass Use my ass on like a pussy duck tails

How does Scrooge McDuck is Scottish? Yep. Yeah, he's their Scottish Jewish uncle. Yes, uh, he's a miserly scott I mean full house is a great theme song too. It's iconic at least Yeah, iconic doesn't mean good because there's shows that are like have iconic theme songs that suck like the family matters theme song fucking sucks That's it's bullshit office. Yeah, that's family the family matters seems like might be one of the worst fucking theme songs of all time Yeah, it has nothing to do with the show. Is that it really has nothing it sounds like rod steward, but I don't think it is Yeah, it's fake rod steward. Yeah, it's like Um, and you know what this one's uh kind of a hot take the friends theme song sucks friends theme song sucks hard penis. Yeah

So no one told you that I fucked you in the ass Yeah Yeah, Jesse Frederick is who sang the uh, the That was the thing like if you were a gay guy and like the fucking like 1970s or whatever that's all you had you all you could do is either like make puppets for children or sing tv theme songs This is the only two jobs. Alan thick write a bunch of tv theme songs. Did he? Yeah, you know jesse Frederick james conaway is his full name. He was born in salisbury Oh, shit local boy while he was raised in sea for Delaware

Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you. You left fuck off. You don't wear a piece of garbage shit. He died of cystic fibrosis Good at age 12 No, that was his brother. I didn't read the whole thing. Okay. Yeah, let's see Every time you saw cheers is a really famous song as I love reading about these guys Yeah, these like 70s guys, you know with their shitty combovers and they're like sweaters and their giant lapels They just made theme songs and then you go down to personal life and it's always like He died a confirmed bachelor. Right. He died of AIDS He got AIDS by accident

Yeah, he overdosed on AIDS. Here we go. He shuts out the fucking uh Hold on. He was married to his 10. He didn't have AIDS. He's married to his wife holly together They have two grown sons karen and nicholas. So Well, let's see. Let's see who's this beard. I'm going to contact this widow and be like admit it Admit that he's gay. I'm a podcaster and I was saying you're a dead husband's gay On the show and I can't be wrong Tell me he's fucking gay, bitch Hey, I'm trying to think of other I'm I know I'm forgetting some good

I guess I was I guess I was wrong about that guy He was not gay. Yeah, it wasn't good Damn, I'm getting I'm getting bad at this I'm getting bad at fucking shooting from the hip and calling people gay based on a song A song I heard them get commissioned to write Yeah, I mean the first line is it's a rare condition I mean imagine you're an artist and your first thought is like, what's the opening line for this show about a black family in chicago It's a rare condition

And they say it's a black and not being a criminal. No, he broke the sign. He broke the sign It's a rare condition. It's called AIDS Some people have it even though they're not gay Either like, um, they don't have AIDS. That's it. They're definitely not gay. Don't check their personal life Except the one neighbor who might be gay But then it turns out. He's just a nerd He's not gay And neither am I. I have a wife

It sucks that they didn't make like fucking like like family matters and like the mid-naughts Because then you could just have scenes where like Urkel Like Carl tells Urkel to leave and Urkel starts like his eyes roll back and his head And he starts hyperventilating and trying to go super sad And And he's got like, yeah He's like he's like an actual nerd. He's got like shell braids and fucking like He's wearing like avarex

Yeah, yeah, just the most fucking not tended to cornrows of all time. Yeah The messiest corn Laura I brought over sonic adventure 2 battle if you want to play Laura you're not even good at school You're just a fucking loser who's trying to speak Japanese Steve you're an emotional problems class Steve you had to go to alternative school for having emotional problems You have a parole officer because you have temper tantrums

They had to go to the police to the school because you were spitting on people You were talking to yourself and spitting on people. You were narrating how you were getting a wrench They'll see one day They'll all be sorry when Steve unlocks his powers Um, yeah the pitch so basically it's a middle-class black Chicago family, but the neighbor is a black kid with emotional problems Yeah, he's like a black nerd Sounds good. We'll take six seasons, please Up top. Oh, yeah

No, that show was on forever. They changed they changed on like, uh, Rachel like nine times, I think They just changed the whole cast They did that with all the all the black shows. They were like, yeah, I just swap them out. Nobody's gonna There was a couple. Yeah a couple different on vives. Yeah, of course. Yeah Everybody knows that Adam. Yeah, even say that like it's information is embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with you, Nick You're agreeing with your you're calling yourself Did you know there's more than one on That's really interesting

Did you close my eyes sorry who said that did you just pull a tooth out of your mouth me stop No This is a piece of uh Like a flosser Oh, I love those What if one of these flossing sword? Oh It looked like a shark tooth and then I missed the beach. I miss collecting shark teeth on the beach Fuck yeah, brother

I want to get on the beach mahalo Ah, dude, I got to get back in the mahalo mindset. What are you doing pools in vegas? Yeah, but you know, do you have a pool at your house? We we we're always gonna get it But we never do Everyone's got a pool. It's a hundred and fucking 25 degrees in the summer. You should just build a pool, dude You should build a big one. I'm gonna be pissed in the back. You should build one. You should build a pool for your father Look in the bible Look in the bible. Mm-hmm. That's true

Dude like holes like stanley motherfucking yell nats. You should watch that movie again. So You should I don't think I will you should have a A shy afternoon A shy afternoon I do want to watch um, what was that? The rear window remake. He's I remember I used to get so excited about marathons on tv Yeah, hilarious that they call it a marathon I know you're having a star trek push-up contest No, you don't actually do push-ups. You just sit and watch star trek. You actually buy atrophies while you watch

Yeah, you watch 14 hours of star trek deep space nine while Eating as a fat child Just the cheese packet from a craft mac and cheese box by itself As as if it were fun dip Just eating the cheese powder Wedding your finger just sticking your tongue in there and looking at it. Yeah, and then eating ramen like chips Eating ramen noodles like chips. You're like, I'm this is great. I love watching star trek It makes me smarter because it's for smart people to know

It's for smart show. I thought that is a kid. I thought it was like space. I mean science fiction You gotta be a fucking genius to understand this shit This guy's got a french name. Yeah. No, I mean he's got there's aliens You gotta be a fucking you gotta be a genius to know how that works. That's true. That is a good point I think most trekkies still feel that way. Yeah Well, I'll tell you what I have to Do pissaduccio and then I gotta eat something because my yeah, I'm I'm hungry. Yeah, same brother. No, I'm all right Folks, well, we're that's all right folks. Thanks for listening. Catch you next time. Check out, uh

Oh shit. I already ended it whatever But uh, the audio is still going so if you want to uh Check out my twitch channel. I got a whole whole new bunch. Sorry. Go ahead Yeah, I got a whole new bunch of shirts the line new lineup coming out and the next week and a half I'm still finishing up designs. I got two of them out and then uh, oh, yeah Yeah, the shirts are ready to go if you've been waiting to buy something maybe wait another week or so and see what we've seen some advanced copies Folks, these are some good ass shirts. You're gonna. Yeah some by them bit by them bitches a couple of hot boys And if you if you want more content if you little sluts you're starving

I'm doing an advice show on twitch 6 p.m. Friday. It comes out as a youtube video and also as a podcast It's called stavi solves your problems Uh, call 903 883 stav and leave a voicemail and I'll do it right live on the motherfucking show Every friday at 6 on twitch and every monday at 7 30. I do an art show with my little brother Um, so check that shit out you fucking whores and hopefully This shit is a hoax and we can get back to fucking live performance soon. I'm getting I'm I hate not being out there, dude Yeah, how do you got anything? Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Well, that's it folks. Bye fit