The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 217 – Heavy Brain

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

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I'm upset because I've been like blowing just good bits all day to myself in the house. Yeah. And the green penis is pretty good. That's good. I mean, it's just joining us now. We're coming off a black guy that has headphones held up to his penis. Yeah. And he plays classical music to his dick.

He's trying to get pussy from a smart bitch. We trying to get an intellectual time. And you go, yeah, it sounds crazy, but it works, man. I'm going to tell you, I'm a fucking this big bitch. She's just defensive driving. Yeah. She's a professor. She's a professor.

Professor of domestic driving. That's why he plays classical music into his balls. Yeah. To fuck a professor of domestic driving. She's a professor. She's a professor of offensive driving. Yeah. Um, dad, you know, I mean, there was a whole thing about FDR.

Oh, yeah. Instead of them hiding his polio, he's actually, uh, he actually has just bitched a big ol' bazongas. Huge pair of tits. Tits. So he's always just behind the podium that's up real high. Cause they can't have it. And he's like, today is a day that will live an infamy.

He's Barack Obama. We have nothing to fear, but for itself, we have nothing to fear, but getting pussy because we're gay. Just him and that carriage in Central Park, but he's got a big blanket over him. People are like, oh, I guess he was cold. He was a cold a lot of the time. And I'm like, yeah, the secret service had to hide FDR's big tits. This big pair of tits that was actually.

Juicy ass titties. They were a secret from the world. Dude, that would be awesome. We had awesome tits and he was getting them sucked by his mistresses. Well, it was his secret shame. He had, he had like massive, just massive guy. How, how, how massive? H.

H. Cops. Oh, not even like a nice double D freak size. Yeah. Okay. It's cool that they went with the alphabet with titty sizes because, you know, they could just do like small, medium, large for the most part. But when they came up with them, somebody was like, yeah, we're going to need 26 sizes. And they were like, you put breasts on and go up to like, and the guy was like, I choose

to dream. So hope that one day we might say Z tits. The biggest, fattest fucking tits we've ever seen. Look, boys, it's 1890. And we don't look. We haven't started putting chemicals in our meat yet, in our milk. We just invented cesarean sections to keep the pussy fresh. We got no idea which direction.

I'm about like just to show like the nick, but it's about the guys inventing cosmetic surgery. It's just Clive Owen being like, as you can see, this woman's breasts are too small. She's disgusting. A new, a new method invented by me while high on opium last night is filling the titties with milk from a cow. As we all know, the titties are created by milk from baby, baby, you come into a woman and then the cum is turned into milk, turned into milk by our latest research says that

breast milk is the product of cum, which is the same as milk going into the titties. And now we're going to cut her. We will cut the middle man out and put the milk directly in her breasts. Everyone's applauding. Oh, my God, he's done it. Slicing a woman's nipple off and then putting a hose in her cow. Time of death, 815, and they just wheeled the woman out. Does anyone want to volunteer their wives and just everyone's handsheets up and then

assist him just raw dogging like a Chinese whore fucked up while, while, while like with that weird techno music plays, do they have techno music in the nick? Yeah. Yeah. That show rocks. It's really cool. They, I thought they were going to bring it back for a third season. Yeah.

But they shot it all in bedstock. Yeah. It's kind of like that's for white people that they're, that's our spike. That's us. Yeah. You know, that's our do the right thing. That's our history. Is the Nick.

Yeah. You know, there's actually a scene where a part of the show, it's about a black guy that tries to move into the neighborhood and they're like, fire, fire, gentrify, right? Cause he's trying to gentrify the hospital. They're saying that that it's violence. Yeah. They're like, this is literally trying to start serving beef patties and all that kind of stuff.

They're like, you can do surgery on black people in the basement. Yeah. Up top, up top is for find out how to get big titties to women. Right. It's cool. That character, it does start like sort of like an underground urban style of surgery. Yeah. Yeah.

A more New York kind of gritty hip hop style before hip hop. Yeah. Well, a lot of people don't know that, but Clive Owen's character, the Nick started hip hop. Yeah. Well, yeah. He was rapping a lot. It's true.

The black, the black doctor. I forget his name. It's like Antoine. Dr. Boombastic. Yeah. Dr. Africa Boombastic. You know, he's a pedophile. What?

Yeah. Africa Boombastic. He was fucking kids. The inventor of hip hop. Wow. Yeah. So at its very core, hip hop is about. That's the sixth.

The sixth pillar. Six pillars. Pedophilia. Yeah. The fifth is realness. The sixth is getting it in with a kid. That's pretty not chill if you ask me that Africa Boombastic. That's probably the only pillar that is also related to Islam.

Right? Yes. All the others. There is overlap. All the others. The five pillars of Islam. Weird, just cultural appropriation. But that one, that's the pillar they kept.

No. That's the pillar. Islam also does have b-boying as well. Do they? Yeah. They have a break dancing. Absolutely. That's the whirling dervishes.

That's what, if the prophet can't be drawn, but if he was, he would be doing, he would be hitting, he'd be spinning on his head. Yeah. He'd be, he'd be hitting breaks. You guys saw the video of Kanye crying. Pretty funny. I didn't. No.

I like Kanye. I like Kanye now. I like Kanye and I think he has a beautiful soul and people can't really handle. I mean, it's like, it's not, he doesn't really, you have to, it's, Kanye is an abstraction and you have to appreciate him the same way you appreciate Donald Trump or Adolf Hitler. Which is, it's not, you know, they're Buddhists. Yeah. You don't have to vote for Hitler, but you can still appreciate.

Yeah. The Dalai Lama is, I consider myself sort of a trad Buddha where I feel that the Dalai Lama was reincarnated in the Hitler in the 1930s and we've had basically a fake Dalai Lama. So where did the, where the guy that was in Hitler go? Kanye West. Kanye. Dude, double duty between Kanye West and Donald Trump.

I see. We're a little touch of Seagal and I see. Oh yeah. For sure. I see. I see. I mean, the fact that the Dalai Lama is like, yeah, Stephen Seagal's a pretty good guy is evidence that Hitler was the actual.

I see no other explanation. Did the Dalai Lama say something about women gotta be hot or something? Yeah. They gotta keep the pussy tight. It could be a dolly, a female Dalai Lama, but it has to be a hot shit. The fucking. It can't be an ego. Those, those, that ass has to be fucking on dump truck.

I'm going to start to type it like a Zen offshoot that's just for autistic people. Uh-huh. And so the leader is called the trolley llama and it's about, I love it. You know, yeah. Honestly, I think. I don't know what it's about, but it's about trolley llamas good. Those two cultures. Those are guys with bowl cuts wearing that outfit, looking at trains.

I think we've done it. We don't have to do anything any further. Yeah. No further questions, your honor. Do you think that means the Dalai Lama thinks he's hot? Oh, yeah. He knows. He thinks the bitch version of the Dalai Lama has to be fucking has that big ass tease

and full lips and whatnot. You think he thinks he can get pussy if you wanted to, but he can't. Well, if you can't get pussy, I think so, but they just choose not to. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. I think the whole point is, well, I don't actually know. I don't know anything about the fucking Dalai Lama.

I've seen Coondoon in seven years in Tibet and it would be funny if he was getting so much pussy. I liked it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are we allowed to say Coondoon? Uh, yeah. If Marty says it's cool, it's cool.

Damn. There should be more movies that sneak racial slurs into the title under the auspices of foreign words. Is that a slur? It sounds like it could be. Say it and I'll stop you. Coondoon. Stop.

No, try again. Stop. Okay. No, try it again. Coondoon. Do it slow it down. Stop. Oh, I see it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a U, isn't it? Is it KUN? It doesn't matter. Say it again real slow. No.

There you go. I'm not. That's how you know. But I will say it regular Coondoon. Yeah. There's somebody out in the world out there to cut that down, shop and screw it. Yeah. Kind of.

See, I'm so innocent. My brain is so non-racist as opposed to you two. Did you get this from your website? No. I actually got this at an army supply store in Queens because the website was taking too long. So if you want to tell the world about your website, I got it. I found a website that sells bucket hats for the extra large headed man.

Or I should say person. I guess some women might have big ass heads, but this hat is a size eight bucket hat. Retarded women usually have bigger heads. Do they? Yeah. Because brains work the opposite. Oh, that's true. That's true.

Oh, for just for women? Yeah. The bigger they are, the more retarded. Yeah. Frenology is actually wrong. The smaller the brain, the smarter the brain. Yeah. Because spiders are the smartest.

It's like a solid state drive as opposed to a regular hard drive. Spiders are actually incredibly intelligent. So think about it. Could you ever make a web? I could easily. No. I could right now if I wanted to. I just don't feel like it.

No, you don't know how. I would get some string and I would spray glue on it and I would do nice little pads. Spider-Man can't even make a web. He could just spray it. He could if he wanted to. No, he doesn't even know. He's a half man. He has done a lot.

Half man, half spider and he can't even build a web. Where's the way? He's not half man, half spider. The web is not. The web is not like a skill of his. It's like a thing that he built, right? It's like a. I think in some versions it is and some versions it's not.

He has to like reload his web thing. I don't remember. I think in the cartoon, one of them is different from the cartoon. I don't have the Spider-Man knowledge I used to. I think regular Spider-Man has the cartridges and the amazing Spider-Man. That's what makes him amazing. Yeah. Again, this is a Coondoon situation.

Yeah. It's a classic. I've seen a Spider-Man one and two. Wait, have you never watched the cartoon? The Black Spider-Man? I love that. No, no, no. I just remember the.

That one. Rockscock. I mean the one. Spider-Verse. The one after school. No. The only thing I remember is the Toby. McKeith.

Yeah, Toby Keith. Yeah, when he goes emo. Spider-Man 2. When he goes emo. Where Uncle Ben says to him, with white power, come to scraper responsibility. Uncle Ben on his deathbed says, white power. With white power becomes the white man's burden. Keep them safe.

Yeah. Keep them. You have to make sure. They don't know any better. You've got to keep Indian people in line. They need you, Spider-Man. No, Uncle Ben. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to boss Indian women around. Yeah, dude. Oh, Peter. Did Uncle Ben tell you about Indian women? No. Okay, good. Dude, how about Marisa Tomei, dude, because in the cartoon, it's some old bitch. Yeah.

Marisa Tomei could absolutely get this. Marisa Blow-May. Blow-May. How about Marisa Blow-May? Not you. Marisa Blow-May. No, Blow-May. No, Blow-May first.

Marisa Blow-May. Blow-May. I'm pointing to myself, everyone. No. No. You're Marisa-May-Oh. No. That's not even close.

Yes. Your name starts with Tome, but your name is Edissa Mayonnaise. No. What? Say it again? Edissa Mayonnaise. Edissa Mayonnaise. You're deaf.

Yeah, that's right. You're fucking me. Your name is Penis-Suck-Lots. My name is Jonathan Gasexio. Chance. Jonathan Chance. I'm a spy. I'm a spy, and I've got a dossier here.

Hold on. I'm opening up the dossier. And it says, I, Jonathan, am Gasexio. It's got all of your aliases. The first one, Edissa Mayonnaise. No. The second one, Fat Guy. Wow.

That's not my aliases. You came up with that alias yourself? Those are all fake. That's false flag, Adam. You're going to believe this guy? He's a plant. He's a fucking DHS plant. I see him here with this dossier.

He's just stopped with a tiny fedora on meeting people at the Edamonds Outlet. Looking over my shoulder suspiciously. That's when it catches me. I think when you go bald pony, you should get a duster. What's a duster? Every, like, once every six months, probably every time I smoke weed, I imagine myself dressing like Bill Hicks and start laughing hysterically. Bill Hicks wears dusters.

I mean, it's very funny to imagine that Bill Hicks, like, the last year of his life, he's like, how funny would it be if I just said all this, like, serious shit, but then I dressed like the biggest faggot in the world? He was just like, that was all an ironic bit. That would have been a great bit. Which gave us Tom Myers maybe his most enduring bit. I'm going to look like some undertaker fucking special education class retard. Just the biggest loser possible.

And then being like, the government, you ever think about it? And he's really just making fun of Bill Maher. Did Bill Maher exist at that point? Yes. But not in that form. No, not in that form, you're right. What was he, just a fucking comic? He was in movies and stuff, too.

Really? Yeah. Bill Maher? Yeah, I think he had, like, not a big career. And he's not Jewish, right? We did this math. No, he is. I tried to claim he wasn't Jewish, but I think he found out later in life that he was.

And that's how he got into movies. That's, I mean, he couldn't... I mean, let's be honest, there's no other way without connections. I mean, that's, I would say that's why he's annoying. There's no other way I could be in movies. Okay. Yeah, he's ugly, he's annoying. He's not that charismatic.

Yeah. Yeah. What movie was Bill Maher in? We could look it up. Name one. Some bad shit. I saw a clip. Check.

Like, check. Yeah, he plays Mr. McIntosh. Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't that just the kid? It's a fake. Listen, kid. If I had a check, I'd be spending it on prostitutes.

That's the coolest part about him. Yeah. Is that he fucks whores. Yeah. Everything else, though, can get banned. Apparently, one specific type. Black. Is that what you mean?

I thought... Whoa. I thought, uh... Whoa, dude. That's what I thought. Listen, we got a... The election is coming up. We got to swing back to being a politics podcast.

Oh, yeah. We are a politics podcast. Also, like... You got to cool it on making any kind of references to black people. We can't be... Yeah, but they exist. Oh, no. We can't.

That's a true political podcast. Yeah. We have to ignore the existence of black people. We're really... We got to walk on a tightrope here. Well, I was just going to say... And I will say this right now, I've only ever heard of white people. Uh-huh.

Yeah, and they're bad. That's right. I only know of one... I've heard of a good group of people, but I don't know what color they are. I don't know what color they are. I'll tell you that much. I have no idea. No, my place to even acknowledge that they exist.

Oh, fuck. It's time to ramp up the politics. Uh-huh. Yes. Because Joe needs us. Mm-hmm. Who's Joe? I don't know.

Yeah. I've never even heard of him. I don't know who he is, actually. I don't know who Joe is. Um, I think this year you should vote for... Uh... Don't vote. Do vote.

You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. Vote or die. You've got to vote or die. You've got to vote or die. You've got to vote or die.

It's a politics show that really is as fucking cynical. He's just out of politics. Listen, folks, it's very important that you vote, or maybe it isn't. And whatever you do, you've got to trust your gut, but then vote for the right person. And if you don't, it'll be your fault. It's your fault. And then it's... But it's also not your fault.

And there's a lot of... Because it's about society and a lot of systemic issues, but also the fact that you didn't vote in a state that's going to go Republican, Democrat, one way or the other. What is the system anyways, but a collection of individuals? That's right. And you're one of those individuals, but it's also society's fault. Thank you. You're listening to the Patreon politics.

You're listening to Give Us Money, the politics show. That's right. You know... I've always thought that... He's just used the... Can we start using his music? Yeah. As parody long?

His music kind of sounds a little bit like California love. California love. My dick is small. If you don't vote... I am Bill Maher and I'm gay. My show sucks. My show sucks. My show sucks.

My show sucks. My show sucks. My show sucks. My show sucks. My show sucks. California. I'm sucking beans. I was gonna hate my lungs.

We should have gone, dude. We had tickets. Yeah. To what? California? No. It's a real time with Bill Maher. Yeah.

When you were writing on that show... When you were writing on that show, Stov and I scored some ticks. Did we? I thought... We got some ticks. Some guy was like... I thought there was some kind of scheduling issue. We couldn't go because of that.

Yeah. Or maybe we left a little... Oh, when I was writing for Tucker Carlson. Yeah. Yeah. When you were out in L.A. in Hollywood... When you lost that job to the guy that... Yeah.

Bet just got shit-canned. Yeah. Which is... It's weird because the writer's room was that guy and a bunch of black women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It would be funny if they...

If Tucker Carlson had the same woke writer's room as everyone else. Yeah. And that controversy happened. Yeah. It's the same writer's room as Big Mouth. And it was like... It was like a 23-year-old Nigerian girl that was just like, what if we said that it was actually Jews doing all this?

Yeah. Yeah. We can all agree on it. Yeah. Which we can all agree on. Okay. Well, time for all of us to take lunch while the one Jewish guy in here does all the work.

Right. All the jokes. Does absolutely everything. And then we'll come back for lunch. Yeah. Have a great lunch, everybody. Have a great lunch, girls. I hope you're having a good lunch.

Don't worry about me. I'll just be sinking into my spinal column, writing the entire show. It's time to open your eyes. If you go around squinting at everybody, don't get angry when they do it at you. You rule. Bill. Bill. Bill.

Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill.

Bill. Bill. Bill. Did he say it? Do you? No. What? He said it.

OK. I'm a fucking idiot. If he did. He did. Why? Him saying it was hysterical. It was so funny. There is no reason for that.

Just the confidence with which he said it, he was so… Like, what? If they took, they took, like classically- If he took any… He'd be like 65 beats per minute. Dude. It's just as cool as a cucumber. Cool as a cucumber.

I'm a house bee. To a senator too. It's not even with a comic who's going to riff with him. That interview is like a commercial for Clonopin. Yeah. It's like this is how... So cute. Do you want to feel like this?

Yeah. It should have just been out on the field. Tossing a football back and forth. And he's like, check this out. Then it's just a VO. Get your life back. Yeah. Get back to the you that just dropped.

You're son being trans now. Just go ahead. Just get on pills. Get back to dropping in bombs. Really goddamn nearly. Truly a hysterical moment in television, man. So funnier than anything that's been on a fucking show. Speaking of pills, if your penis doesn't work.

Oh, yes. If your penis doesn't work, you can go ahead and get it working again. Get it fucking working with the Bluetooth. With Bluetooth. Why don't you guys take it away? I'd love to, Nick, because you know what? Recently, I have... Listen, I've been taking Bluetooth and I love it.

And it breaks my penis work nice. But I said, let's take a walk on the wild side. Somebody a while ago had sent me random unmarked dick pills. And I took one. Oh my gosh. And it made... I will say to give this random dick pill credit, it made my dick as hard as Bluetooth does. But horrible headache.

Horrible headache. I thought I was going to die. I had to take a fucking shower. Hot ears. Hot ears. The whole nine. I was saying to myself, why did I fucking... Why did I forsake Bluetooth?

Why did I use a different dick pill to get my dick hard? I've got the Cadillac of dick pills. And just because I couldn't find them, because I'm messy. Well, guess what? Got a fresh shipment of Bluetooth. And I took one this morning. My dick is hard right now. No headache, no nothing.

No, we're all hard. We take one before every show. If you like sex, you'll love Bluetooth. And I like sex. I like it. That's the thing. I have an appreciation for that offer. Excuse me, but I like it.

Sorry. Performance enhancement for the bedroom. Like a gun. Absolutely. Yeah. If you can't find a gun to put up your own ass. Have the woman put up your own ass. If that's the only way you know how to...

Just put the gun up my ass. Put the gun in my ass. Just put it in my ass. In Bluetooth, you get the first two of those with the active ingredients. Sildenafil or Tadalafil. Tadalafil. I'm a Tadalafil boy. The same active ingredients is in Viagra and Cialis.

This is more here for Bluetooth.com. Listen, my penis... You've got Bluetooth mort guys. This is big. My penis missing. The official sponsor. Oh, from the Big Mouth writers. Big Mouth slash Tucker Carlson.

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Some of them really talk like that. They get into this way that I... It did not... You know, I've leaned so far into being a stereotype that I'm a baby now. No, I don't know what happened. I just went on down to the Starbucks to get a new swaber and now I'm a baby. I did it for 20 years and now I've just now become a baby that talks like this. Chubbles can work faster.

Chubbles from Bluetooth can be taken on a full or empty stomach. All line physician consult is free, so it's cheaper than those other two. It takes only a few minutes to connect with a Bluetooth.com affiliated physician. If you qualify, you get prescribed on line quickly. Bag it. God damn it. I said it wrong. Fuck it, Faggot.

Fuck it, Faggot. Bill, it's okay. Just take it from the top. Bluetooth.com. Chubbles can work faster. The Chubbles from Bluetooth can be taken on a full or empty stomach. The online condition can... Fuck it, bitch.

God damn it, was Bill really the only guy we had left? His voice over coach molested him when he was a child. But now this always happens. Hey, Bill. You're not gay? Good news. I just called your doctor. He says you're not gay.

And just go ahead and take it to the top. The online physician consult is free, so it's cheaper than those other two. Viagra and C. Alice. It takes only a few minutes to get fucked in my ass when I was seven. God damn it. No. You know what, we got everything we needed, Bill. Thank you so much.

It only takes a few minutes to connect with the Bluetooth.com affiliated physician. And if you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly. No in-person doctor visit. No back of a van in the San Fernando Valley. Getting molested repeatedly. Really, it's a-okay, Bill. No problem. It ships directly to your door in discreet packaging, tied up in bound gagged,

fucked day in, day out, until the end of summer vacation. Going back to school will never be the same again. Unplugged. No mic. Holding a mic not plugged into anything. Now I live outside under the Hyperion Bridge, smoking dog shit to get high. Dousing dog shit in bug spray to get high. Spraying off all over dog shit and smoking it.

Trying to bury the memory of getting molested in a van. Because my mom was a whore. Bluetooth gives you confidence in bed every time. You and your partner will love it. So here's a great deal for you guys. Visit Bluetooth.com and get your first order free when you use promo code COMTOWN. Just pay $5 shipping. That's B-L-E-U.

B-L-U-E. B-L-E-U. This is also- Yeah, I just don't know how to read it. It is so having sex with the- The character of a guy who got raped to make up for the fact that I literally can't read it. That's a great character, man. That's B-L-U-E-U.

B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E.

B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. Without the personal stories, anybody anonymous enough to be jailed, down the street, in the Situation

B-L-U-E. B-L-E-B-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-U-E. B-L-E-B.

B-L-U-E. B Clay can't make this list. I don't let a father get her mother. That's a stupid one. One-off leave. Onecoach. Nothing can keep the poor off the street. Cambridge, you know, all that kind of slow and see Quincy

You know Salem no south shore faggots allowed. No south shore. You homos. Yeah Better clean it up. Yeah Come on, man. It's for Bluetooth. Say homo How'd you get in canceled and you're like I said no south shore homo I Did not say south shore fags Damn, yeah, blue penis. Shout out to blue penis.com. I Chewed and do it. I watched this movie spedders the other day. This is Paul Verhoeven movie from before he came to America and A character gets gang raped. How about Paul and word-hoven? Okay. Yep. Let's go. I think I could she's okay

Yeah, it's my idea of us. There's a policeman who is shot and They but here's a white man and he's shot about but it is some kind of a crazy future They have medicine and machines and they build him they you know, it's Detroit So they rebuild him with parts of just left over black. Yeah Well, I think maybe what if he's a machine instead of well, what if he fights crime? They use black people parts to make him. Well, they could what about what about electronics? No, and

Part machine part black guy part man. Okay, so Part man part machine. He's a black because they turn the policeman into a black man whose head is a boombox He's a ghetto blast and he but yeah, he gets back at the criminals Okay, all right, okay, I think you got a lot of good elements here Paul mm-hmm I don't know how you would hope and I can fight crime Mr. Edward Hoven I like the part the part where he's a robot and a man the name of the movie is called show girls Like yeah, actually

The original script they cannibalize a lot for Robocop But yeah, his original screenplay that the studio didn't like the police and it has to turn into a stripper He's got a good person Give him a pussy because he's a robot and a black man the police department won't pay him So he has to support his family that doesn't remember him because they think you know, he's white Yeah, so when a black man with a boombox head shows up at home. He the family is scared The right that's always become a lady. So he becomes a stripper and he has a penis place with breasts Oh, wait, but he has breasts where his penis would be. Yes, and wow, and he becomes the most popular

Stripper in Detroit Oh, yeah, and then he moves to New York to become a beautiful actress And then so his head is still a black guy with a boombox, but then bugs Bugs trying to kill him and he has to go to space And then you find out the bugs are the good guy and the bugs are actually Jews Holocaust the Jew bugs are actually And then does he also go to Mars was that him too? Yeah, and then yes Mars attacks and he has to

There's two Jack Nicholson's and one is the president I'm talking about total recall. I think Mars attacks is Tim Burton Anyways a character gets gang raped by five guys and then and then afterwards one of the characters is like Yeah, we thought you'd like it and then the next day. He is a homosexual. No, that's what turns him gay That's homo cop. He gets gang raped into homosexuality. Wow, like it's a gang Yeah, it but a woman in the bloods. Yeah, but then he just finds out from the gang rape that he's gay and Every and that's a nuanced understanding of homosexuality. Yeah Pretty cool, I bet that in the Robocop remake

Robocop remake where they show him what he looks like without the suit or yeah But it's just a brain and they've made his dick huge and that's all that's left and he's like and he's just like Yeah, that's good. I like that a lot actually. Oh, you kept my original dick No, actually we made your dick bigger and he's like delete the files Destroy the computer room. Yeah, Robocop's gone rogue. He's destroying all the records Are turning up dead The movie becomes stopping Robocop. It's called Robocop 2 showgirls Oh hell yeah, dude, just a thriller where every all the scientists didn't know what his dick looked like. Keep dying

Anyone that's seen his penis like his old high school coach It kills his wife. He kills his wife. He kills his doctors He's like interrogating his fucking kid. It's like, did you ever see my penis in the shower? You're not allowed to see it. Your son's like, why are you talking like Batman? He's like, I'm also Batman. I'm also Batman now. I've decided that when I moved to New York to be a beautiful actress, he became Batman He pulls his dick out. He's like, look at the wood saw. Is this how it always was? Yes, dad.

Rachel, look at my dick. Well, you see Robobatman cop showgirls. I know your penis used to be small No matter what you do, you can't fuck me Well, you'll never fuck my ass Batman. The Joker and his asshole so he shut There's nothing you can threaten me with Yeah Unseal your asshole

Take it off. Open up your ass. Now you have a choice By the time it takes you to unstitch my asshole, Rachel will be dead You can either go fuck Rachel and save her or fuck me in my ass Harvey go save Rachel, but you're not allowed to fuck her Well, if I save her, I'm gonna fuck her No And by and somehow this proves your dick was regular

It was him just fucking the Joker and the asshole Harvey thence eating Rachel's pussy Batman's on the phone. He can hear her coming. He's like, no I hope you enjoy my ass Batman Because now you're gay And my broadcast you fucking me in the ass on the news Gotham shocked to find out that beautiful actress Robobatman is actually gay for the Joker In other news Assistant da Rachel got her pussy eating last night in an abandoned factory by Harvey Dent

He did a really good job. Yeah, he ate her pussy very well straight. He ate it very well Like cell phone video Cop fucking joker in the ass very loud Rachel no So to speak You're gay now. Yeah now you're gay You fallen into my trap fallen into my trap, man Now you're gay

Oh man, I can't believe in fact, I'm gonna show you master way to gay master way Bruce Wayne's like I stopped being Batman like six years. He's like, no, it's it was from this is over. We're hoping movie Yeah, this guy from Detroit I'm in an alternate universe now where I'm in high school I'm a guy in high school. That's got And I just solve crimes around the school I'm for teenagers. Oh, that's right master Wayne. That's right Well, I guess I'll go kill that her

Alfred's also homophobic When I was in him when I was in Burma, it was a six-year-old boy that we were all taking turns with Alfred where's this story going? I don't know. We found the rubies in his ass What I'm saying is it might seem wrong to rape a child at first But when you find out that they were actually the ruby thief Through the process of fucking them and around them in sort of a you know, sort of a Machiavellian sort of way Is it really wasn't really wrong? Yeah, it's still wrong. It's still fucked up. It's still kind of being a pedophile

You're a pedophile. You're the kid Alfred. Yeah, but I'm British Oh That's I guess it's more of a sort of a systemic problem Were you wearing a pith helmet while you were doing it? Oh, fuck Damn that dastardly Joker strikes again. Dude, what a so anyway, that is my idea for the master of tricks That's the idea You know, that's the whole pitch

We love it. Mr. Edward Hoven Then we are thinking maybe there's a sequel where there's a guy named Bane who is like a black lives matter And the hobby he's very antifa and he also fucks batsman and uh this time bad man bad man is sort of the bad guy I Damn Christopher Nolan's other movies never gonna come out, huh? Yeah, apparently it's dude. I saw the trailer for that on mushrooms when I saw Star Wars and it looked awesome Because I was on mushrooms. I don't remember the trailer I watched it again sober it did not look as good

But on mushrooms seeing that move that trailer fucking was so good one movie tenant Why don't they just release it on demand? I know because that's Christopher Nolan's a fucking bitch people would spend 20 bucks I would I would I got a big ass tea. I got a big ass project I would take mushrooms. It is aren't going to be open for another year probably Yeah, Broadway is shut down until 2021 I'm this is the third time I've mentioned that Naked loves Broadway, but you guys don't know this about nick. He sees a fucking me Honestly, I would like to like Broadway because it's like I live in New York. I should be taking advantage

Yeah, it's the only place in the world The maybe three times I've seen plays in my life. It's like It's nice. I've only gone in Baltimore to the shots out the everyman theater when I was a kid These take us to there's a lot of cool plays there It's mostly guys. It's a guy sitting on stage getting into a fight with Radio shack customer service. Yeah, it's just every man kind of things kind of an Arthur. I saw fences there Well, yeah, it's no it's not clearly labeled what kind of watch the batteries are for Uh-huh, and that's the place. Excuse me. You all sell free days here and there's a lot of yelling. So, you know, it's good

Yes, you guys sell socks Yeah, I know it's radio shack. I'm asking I'm fucking asking Oh, fuck. No, Rachel No You're gay now That being the turn Rachel are you coming? Don't come

You can enjoy it, but at least don't come. Don't come don't come Rachel. Please Don't not in his mouth Please don't bust I'm coming batman There's come leaking out of my penis No I'm gay Do you want to know what makes me calm?

Damn dude That's now that's good stuff. I saw the boss in a play the kid the The king Gandolfini You did one of the three plays I've seen in new york. Damn. Yeah, but that was before I moved here What a brag. I took a mega bus up here. So I could see what a braggart. Yeah What what play was it? It's called god of carnage. I believe they made it into a movie Was he in it? Uh, no, it was him. Jeff Daniels was in it too

Was he shitting his pants? Was he shitting? Did he have diarrhea? No, but I saw I saw the preview before the show like came out and I saw david chase and The king little steve walking in together. Oh, nice. And he is a petite man Who steve van zand? Yeah, he's a small guy. Shut the fuck up. Really little. Yeah, get how tall? Uh Probably like five seven. Okay. So he's a regular. He's a really tall guy and tall guy Yeah, so he's tall. I don't get it. Yeah, it sounds like a guy that's maybe Probably a little above average, right? Maybe just maybe like an inch lower than the cutoff for what would be considered tall.

Tall, yeah, you know a tall five eight. Yeah, so five a towering five eight. Yeah, that's tall enough Tall enough. Yeah, five seven. I would say is the per I would I think through the perfect five ten You start getting in the gay guy too. Yeah, and now you're like a lanky giraffe. Now you're fucking its ass Yeah, now you're probably a bitch. That would be so embarrassing to be over six feet. Oh, yeah You know how hard it is for those guys Because it's they feel people feel so bad for them that they pretend it's good They're too tall to have sex with women. Oh women hate those guys Because they're so tall and so powerful your body uses up all your growth hormones on your bones

So your dick's big so yeah, so it gets so small and guys that are five seven with little dicks. That's regular That's normal. That's what you want to be Yeah With those guys It goes hormones. It makes sense. We're actually sold for cash and they're rich to help people to help Yeah, they went there. They're good guys. It was buying lunchables for people in africa And leaving the the the candies in there There's a lot of charities that remove the desserts from lunchables not these type of guys not these guys five seven guys

Just with little dicks The male the perfect man But he was petite too. He wasn't like a big guy. Yeah, but he is so cool, dude He was wearing his bandana. Yeah, he rocks his stupid face. He's so you know, he was supposed to be cast as tony originally Yeah, originally, you know, it was him and the guy who played um uh Jack april or not Jackie april not jackie his dad. John. Who's the fucking who was boss before john john april

No, jackie was the boss before. Oh, okay. Jackie jackie. You're right. Yeah jack Is those three junior was his fuck up son. I know jackie was the star already corrected himself. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry Don't make it look like I don't know the guy's name. I know. Don't make him look I know the guy's fucking name know his name and then junior and then tone Why don't you go get us a couple of orange cream sodas? All right, I'll be right back. Why don't you go? Why don't you go run a down a block and first of all junior was going One down a block and go get me a big old glass of calm. How about this? Junior was not really the boss. He was not really the boss. He didn't actually have the power

If anything, tony was a genius He kept the heat off him. It was a genius. If I went to one of those like blue lives matter rallies with a sign That says my dick is small. Do you think I would get the shit beaten out of me by italians? uh As but really try and sell it like maybe just like mingle for a while and then bust the sign Out this is like you got to punish your shirt on you got everything out. You're like They're like no, no, I'm here for the cops But I also got personal stuff

That involves me that I would like to address It would have to be a double-sided sign. Yeah, it would have to say, you know blue lives matter or whatever No, I got I have my sign from a different rally. I went to and now I got I'm reusing I'm reusing it I'm reusing the fucking sign. It's about you know, you don't think about recycling I'm protesting the size of my own dick. I got a pride. It's I was in a different rally I'm gonna throw away the fucking sign or I'm gonna use the other side. It's good poster board Count the protesting a big dick rally And I was pissed off

I was pissed off about it Hey, yo, this guy's not for me. Yeah, no, it's fucking different. It's like, you know, look, we're all here because we're pissed off We all are being pissed off I'm just saying I mean you put let me just recycle my fucking sign What the fuck am I gonna get another piece of what is it? What do you call a big paper? What the fuck do you even get this shit a big thick paper? What the fuck is this thing? It's like a big piece of paper or something The fire open up the printer. I take a piece of paper out. I measure it

It's fucking half the size. It's not even even close. So I throw that one out Go back to the printer pull out the next one measure that size. It's basically the fucking same size as the other one It's only a couple inches. No, you're talking about 15 hours I spent measuring every one of those fucking pieces of paper. They're all about the same size. I love you He's so bad at measuring. They're not the exact same size Give it take a couple of Every single one of the none of them I will even remotely qualify as a big fucking piece of paper Uh-huh. I understand the dramatic irony of writing my penis is small on a tiny piece of paper

But I want a big fucking piece of paper I only got one of them and I already blew it at the fucking tiny penis round So forgive me if I write blue lives matter on the back side Of my my dick is small And come here come here down the fucking bay. We're so respect the bay ridge to show my support the guinea-goats. Yeah No, me I live in Fairfax, Virginia No, I'm not from here. No, I'm not Yeah, my name is John Mullain

Yeah, no, I'm not even Italian. My name is Richard Salzwadder Yeah, no, my family uh, uh, german jews originally Uh, converted. I just seen a sopranos for the first time. I guess I'll talk like this No, I get my therapist said it might might make me feel better if I you know blame it on italians Because I'm so I my identity is so wrapped up and how small my dick is They thought maybe if I would just maybe I'd pretend to be that maybe I pretend to be italian, you know Just why don't I care about the police? Yeah, and by therapist. I mean my wife Oh

Fuck and by wife, she doesn't know we're married. We don't she doesn't know we're married. It's actually a picture of Nicki Minaj Picture on my phone That I uh, that I stroke my penis that I do uh contribute to have a little cushy dream about it Oh, oh, yeah, if you are pretending to be italian and you're pissed off because your dick is small What you need to do is smoke some cbd Some high quality is one thing all italians love and that's weed that doesn't get you high the regular way That's right, brother. If you like me, you definitely forget to open up the copy for the reeds Uh

Shit Not me you got it. You got it. Here we go. I don't have it. Yeah, I got it Uh company cushy dream slogan smoke cbd because you can Cush dreams uppers for lining up a premium smokers I'm not even a guy pretending to be italian and mad because of my dick is small I'm just a greek guy who knows he's greek. He doesn't pretend to be nothing in his dick is small If your dick doesn't work try cushy dream cbd. It works at least as good as blue chew Oh, yeah, yeah, blue chew gets you high and cushy dreams get you dick hard. Fuck

Here we go. Um, here we go. Use them together. Send the copy. Well, I just got to say folks We don't even need that. Here's the thing. Here you go. Here you go. There you go. I'd know I sent it to you But I don't even need it. I go to a piss because I love it The sponsor's probably gonna be mad about this, but I'm gonna dip out to go piss and when I come back Your boys better still be doing the weed. No, we'll do it. First of all, I don't even need to And I'm gonna be repeating everything you said because I love it It's the group chat. Oh, didn't get it. It's coming in. It's coming in there. Well, just we're here's the point Here's we don't need to wait because I love I have to dream

Well, guess what man? Am I the only fucking professional left in the on this fucking podcast dude? I don't need these. I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna stay. Okay. So I don't need you man We're big. I gotta tell you man. I love I love smoking high quality high quality cbd Uh-huh. Okay. And I like I love because she's she's a thing. They got the fucking powerful flower All right, they got the shit fucking a little little fucking you want to smoke eighths of that shit great But they got beautiful little pre-rolls. Oh maybe

Maybe you're tired of getting high as fuck Eating so many edibles your brain doesn't fucking work. You watch movies. You don't even remember what happened You you order 400 dollars worth of seamless in a month You know, you know how it goes. Maybe you're tired of living that lifestyle But you're not tired of smoking some beautiful high quality flower Yeah, you want something that looks like high quality marijuana feels like high quality You probably get arrested if you if you were smoking it outside Yeah, but it's not getting you high something that if you were black and you were smoking it in public

You might actually be killed you right? Yes by a by a member of our of our police of our armed services of our armed police services on our armed police services And you know what you might think hey, how's that legal? Guess what they're shipping to all 50s all 50 fucking states You fucking that means hawaii foods, you know, that means if you're out on in on uh, maybe pipeline Maybe you're north shore trying to maybe you're tag the beach. Maybe you're one of fucking Uh, what's your face that the vice presidential candidate with the big titties, um, Um, maybe your sarah palin's fucking children. Maybe your sarah palin's retard grandson. That's right. Um, Maybe that's tatt trigger. Yeah flip flip flip dickhead flip dick

dip dick lip Dick lip palin. Yeah, this is my this is my retarded grandson dick lip palin Maybe your dick lip palin. It guess what it's in all 50 states. Here we go. The folks if we talk about cushy dreams We should probably talk about the primary talking points. I think so bullet point number one It looks like high quality. We already covered that. I'm sorry, you know the content It's got the and I know you're thinking look I like cbd is the is the cbd content going to be a high percentage Motherfucker, it's 20 the highest in the fucking game That's the fucking highest you can't get higher cbd content in a smokable male fucking fake marijuana than this

If you can find a higher cbd content, I will kill myself. I'll kill myself. I'll suck my own cock And they'll fucking pull the trigger. I'll suck my own cock with a gun in my ass And kill myself By a ass ass gun to a gunplay You know and listen, there's a lot of cbd gummies There's a lot of cbd droplets smoking that shit is the fastest way to get it in your fucking system Roll up a little fucking join a rune Okay, and just feel feel like feel beautiful on your balcony and let that cbd go into your bloodstream fast

And you're relaxed you're calm But your head ain't but you're not your head isn't in the fucking clouds. Let that open up your third eye Which helps you see the truth about And this is uh, this is the same type of cbd that they smoke on the tv show jackass Yes, absolutely stevo used this to help get off whippets. Yeah, it's actually copyright the exact same C It's the same cbd that buzz aldrin used to make up the moon landing. That's right. It's true The same kind that astronauts use

To have fuck to fuck get pussy. I'm trying to have fuck. I'm trying to have some fucking poke independent lab testing This is cool. They've actually closed all the corona testing facilities to double check the double check for cbd And it turns out that it's they show compliance and purity and then there's a link here to the results We'll click on that. We're clicking on it. It says a plus and a plus a plus 100 open in safari lab results extraordinary smokable flower and the create effect um, canna canna bedavarian is

0.09 percent canna bedadidol. Yes, sir. 0.61 canna bedigaral is nd Tetra hydra canna bedavarian is nd. Nice. Oh, i love that stuff. Canna bedulia acid is 22.2 12 percent. Yep. Nice. Can canna bedjocker look acid is 0.25 percent. So true. Uh, canna benol All cbn is nd. What about cyclic benol? Delta nine tetra hydra canna benol is 0.1 percent. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah, that's right, bitch Delta eight tetra canna, but whatever is something else And moisture is 6.71 percent. Wow. Nice. And this is from a company called coastal analytical They do independent laboratory testing. I actually sent some of my come there and uh, yep

They said it was some of the weakest shit they'd ever come across zero weed No weed, no sperm. No weed Nick has no sperm has come That's not true. Yeah, that's what i'm looking at the results. That's not true. In fact, he has no no swimmers. Yeah That's it'd be great to get get tested your dick tests or come tested and they're like, yeah, you can't get anyone pregnant And then you're like abortion should be legal Like I just be responsible Do you don't want to get pregnant?

If you don't think just get pregnant If I got a woman pregnant, I would never I would log She keeps it. I would love to be a father I would be an even though the idea of giving of grooming my horse and red dead redemption gives me anxiety That's I'm ready to be a father. That's not true. I know I'm the sort of I'm halfway the guy in this hypothetical Well, I'm thought this part is me. Oh, okay. This happens. Yeah. Oh

Sorry, I can't do that. I'm sorry. That's all right. You love grooming your horse on red. Yeah, dude I would feed the horse. I'd room it Give it a little carrot. It's the best part of the game Easy there boy Okay, there boy. Okay girl Oh, see I would have a girl horse because I'm not gay. I'm like you. All right, you're riding around on a girl animals You're riding around on a man. Couldn't be me Dutch there's another version of me. That's gay

Somewhere out there Riding around on a girl horse on a man horse The gay version of me is on a man horse Arthur. We're gonna have sex with our horses But perfect. I don't know about this plan Dutch. I'm ready for it because my horse is a girl and I'm not gay Yeah, that's how the hell is that gonna get the federales off our back? Well, you see Arthur. We're gonna be smoking cushy dreams It's a new world Arthur Things are changing

It's lab-tested And it's hand-trimmed. It's grown in Oregon An alternative for people looking to cut back on smoking other things like cock Which is what I would be smoking if my horse was a boy. I love sucking my horse's cock Ever since I started smoking cushy dreams. I was laughing earlier about sucking cock But then you pull the cock out of your mouth and you go I Big glass of water after a fucking a hot day stroll

And then the person getting their dick sucked is like can you just that's annoying. Yeah, just not do that There's not a natural reaction. I would love it if someone sucked my cock and then went I Hate it when people do it with drinks. No, I love it. Yeah, again, it's it's a European thing. I think yeah Ah, well, you're a peeing me off. You're you're you're a sucking my dick How about that? It mixes well with other things you can smoke like cock Just sprinkle some cushy dreams over your lover's cock and smoke that thing What you do is you blow it up your boyfriend's ass and then you suck it out of the smoke out of his dick, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm each batch is slow cured for two to four weeks to guarantee maximum freshness. That's beautiful

That's why you do it your cannabinoids. They take an artisan approach So that we got Leon the professional Being you know stopping having sex with a child to we have to we have to cultivate the flowers And then me and my eight-year-old girlfriend I'll kill the police man. We're trying to say this is weed Is Gary olden a policeman in the Just like make just make a Goddard movie Bushy

Out of your mouth She comes in my ass Yeah, I think what it means is you should go to cushydreams.com spelled k ush Why dreams? No, you fucking idiot, sorry check out use promo code come down for 20% off your first order smoke your CBD Because you can because you smoke it because you can and let's start the show That's on you see music yeah, let's that's a good song Wow

Regg against the machine. Yeah. Yeah All those that suck horses Put my dick in there. It would be it's it's interesting to see like what would happen if things calm down Cuz it's very easy to get in like a doomsday mindset. Mm-hmm, but with the record of social media It'll be funny to see if You know, we just have like the same kind of Neo-liberal future as we had four years ago, right? Nobody really gave a shit about anything Yeah, and everything's still getting worse if it's yeah

If it's a race to be as coolly detached as possible among the most, you know Fucking rabid people. Yeah, actually. Yeah, I don't care. I was joking. I was joking I there's three years where I said get the guillotines. I didn't care. I didn't actually give a fuck. I didn't actually it's lame to care actually Man the guys the people that like are like choppy boy or whatever the fuck about guillotines I don't know what's that. Well people are like Doing cutesy names for a guillotine. Oh, it's like yeah, look, I agree. We should kill Jeff Bezos. You die, right? But you're not gonna do it. You're a pussy. You're a fat pussy Unlike me a strong man

Mm-hmm, but I don't I'm not on there tweeting about it. I just it's a belief that you're just making the plans I just yeah, I'm I'm I'm I'm secret. I'm me and my fucking working group You figure we move in the shed real G's move in silence like like was Agna as we all know But yeah, I mean, I hope things get better I mean, well my point is that they wouldn't actually get better. Oh, they wouldn't people would still be bad But I would like things to realistically things are worse, but they're marginally worse than they were I don't know a bunch of people are out of work with all that's the that's the pandemic. Yeah, I mean like that, you know

Whatever, I mean, yeah, I'm not gonna go into what I think about I don't I mean to say like I don't think I think it's just like whatever I mean that the lockdown shit could have happened with Anybody and it's just like a huge bureaucratic failure and a big like in my mind if you want to be have a conspiracy about it It's like Yeah, of course, it's just there's no way to it would have been fucked up regardless of who was yeah I think that I think you're probably right like assuming Biden wins then there's just gonna be a malaise that settles in Going back to brunch Yeah, people are gonna go back to remember Obama remember it's like no one give a fuck about anything

But people like loved Obama and really thought he was gonna change. Yeah Yeah, and then for 10 first the first term and then he didn't he didn't do any of those things Many guys asked she's clapped by the Republican But he just got to be reelected. He's he just became the president no one really cared, right? But then he was like it was able to sort of like wash over all of that by just being sort of cool Right, and and and pussy too. Yeah, there is there is like weight to being the first black president or whatever That made it easy to bomb 11 different countries. Yeah, any of the shit that was going on that nobody fucking cared about That suddenly is a huge issue there. Yeah, they could Obama care and it's like Biden can't do that. Yeah, you know

Nobody's gonna be like he's so cool. Yeah, nobody's gonna be excited about it No, people weren't excited about a vine and but or Biden vice-presidents, right? You know, that was like, yeah Obama, but I guess fine. Yeah, bud. Yeah, it was so funny that they picked Biden man Yeah, his whole career up until that was like the guy who kept getting caught plagiarizing JFK speeches every time he read for president Give JFK speeches. We're gonna put somebody on the moon By the end of the decade that's not would fear whatever or no Ask your country or whatever eat ass not what you can ask your pussy

Fuck me and my Fuck not my ass cuz it's gay. Ask the mouth not what you can fuck me in my Yes, it's Kennedy, okay Jack. All right It's been on gay guy. It's suck dick fan One penis People like yeah, that's that's very cool Can we thank you for saying our language? Please send us more cinnamon rolls

There's a Berlin airlift. They just sent fat pussy over there. Yeah. Yeah, that's a BBW. I feel like Germans have fatter Pussies Berlin. That's just something I think fatter pussies. I haven't done any research, but I just think of sort of Nordic type But fatter, I don't know. I Feel like I don't I still don't trust them fully. I wouldn't I feel like I feel like if they ever think Maybe it's up to them to trust you. No Because if you really look at it whose trust was violated, I have the German people the German people

Listen today Break any kind of promise. Yes, or did they just react to promises broke? Listen, I think pretty clearly They were the ones that broke. I feel like I don't know. I'm just asking But I know that we get about the Nazis Yeah Yeah, you know an apology goes a long way just it's admitting They were just doing their jobs as we can we can see with this pandemic thing You should be happy to have a job. Yeah, and if somebody tells you to put somebody on a train you do it

That's your job because because there was a word that you could be out of work And you could be one of these people just sucking up unemployment benefits Spending it all on PlayStation so true not a care in the world. We need to cut those benefits off We need to make sure people starve to death to teach them a lesson About getting the problem. Yes, the problem with them making more money now than when they had a job is that they're lazy They're lazy not that their jobs don't pay dick hole. Yeah God damn, why don't we just give everyone 600 bucks for the rest of time they everyone could get pussy and Just hang there should be a look if I was in charge of everything

Here's the two things I'd implement right off the bat. You still get that personal property There's zero property taxes on any resident single residents that you occupy. Okay. I love that You should if you have a second property jack those fucking taxes of it straight through the fucking roof I agree with you completely dissuade people from having anything that even resembles an investment property Number two there should be UBI, but the way it works is it's a bribe to never fucking post anything on the internet Yeah, yes, you have to choose between a Twitter account and UBI you get you start off with you get a thousand dollars a week Mm-hmm for every character that you type on the internet you lose a dollar Yeah, the whole idea of privacy is gone. Everybody decided they didn't want it, you know after 9-eleven

That's a fucking pipe dream that we're ever gonna have privacy anymore and now people even beyond If it being the government or a big tech or whoever does it people want to just expose every detail of the personal It willingly want to give it up. Yeah, right? So every word you type every character you lose a dollar out of your thousand character Yeah, for every yeah, maybe word even a space. We'll figure it out. We'll find the right Oh, yeah, we'll do the character character Adam like Adam's hard line on this. I'm hard line It's like a gun buyback program, but it's for social media Yeah, basically we want to boil it down to the only thing that you can post online is a single emoji once a week to let people know How you're feeling? Yes?

Smiley great. I would and all the emojis are in the black skin Well, that's blackface Well, you're actually the only one you're canceled sis. That's the only one you're actually canceled Adam. All right, fine I went too far. Yeah, well, first of all, you do do digital blackface and let's not forget. Yeah for my Because you're Chris Bosch because you're Chris Bosch. I have a lot of people never thought I did digital blackface And I was on Twitter, but if they knew how I was saying the tweets in a black voice in black scent. Yeah, yeah The hell you mean there's no unicorns You telling me I suck doll for regular horse

Yep, dude, it's wild to think about what Twitter used to be into that I used to like go on Twitter I wake up hungover and be like time to have fun online with my friends Right right right time to do jokes on the internet with my friends. Yeah, I can't even look at it anymore Yeah, it's crazy. I Think people should go back to normie posting. Well, it's like it's funny because people are like, you know It's like I've said before like oh, I missed the old internet Which was mean but it was also funny and there was like a balance that you could strike between the two of them Mm-hmm, and it's not like this new internet is any nicer. No, no, it's more me

It's it's way more me more way more me because they want to destroy people's lives, right? Ugly you used to go online so maybe like nice hat faggot. Yeah, that's it. That was the exception lose their job All right, it's like you should lose your health insurance. Yeah Because in 2009 we're finding your mother's address in 2009 you said you wouldn't watch Spider-Man if he was black It's it's sadistic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's suck this dick. It's suck this dick No Damn damn. I wish I could just stop doing all this shit. You don't want to get something to eat after this. I Had some of my green curry that I made last night before we just say yes. I'm gonna say yes on the show

Yeah, you don't know don't embarrass me like this. Let's go back. If I say new new rule new rule If I say do you want to do something? I don't even mean it. We got a I'm trying to transition last episode. I I said you want to go to the beach. I think you said yes on the show Yeah, but you just said no, you said no, and I ended up not doing. Yeah. Okay. I see it. I respect that. Yeah Yeah, then yes, I do want to get something to eat. Okay Have a power lunch. Do you actually though? I don't I'm sorry you wait before the show too. Yeah, I had a salmon Yeah, I also ate before the show. Yeah, I'm in day three. I do want another cover of fat recovery. Mm-hmm. I'm doing my fitness pal I'm doing yoga. I'm trying not to die. Yeah, honestly that dick pill that I talked about giving me a headache

I was like I can't die from dick pills My fitness pal is like hey, we just noticed you should probably keep logging dick pills lunch No, it's maybe maybe maybe 17,000 calories a day is a little bit too much Hmm it would be funny if there was a way to just like you just put something in your body And it automatically tracks the calories if I saw those readings. It would be ridiculous Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna like a pop up on stop soon for my fitness balance like I'm sorry I'm not trying to piss you off. I'm on your side here. We're trying to help you Gentle reminder stop. Hey

So I'm gonna go fucking make some chicken breasts and watch NBA scrimmages. They're on yeah Oh, I gotta go to Costco and re-up mine. I have to go to actually I might go with you the bags of Rotisserie the pulled rotisserie chicken bags you fuck with those I don't really they're great for like actually Costco's are good The ones of my the ones of the key food by me are horrible the bag of rotisserie pulled rotisserie chicken a pulled It's already off the thing they take a rotisserie chicken They pull all the fucking meat off of it and then they bag it up and then like vacuum seal it Yeah, I thought I like like ten of those and I throw them in the freezer saw one out

And then I use it for like chicken burritos and shit like that. Yeah, that's not bad. Oh, it's the the move arena I fuck with that see the key food by me had I when I for I mean this was four years ago at this point Yeah, but I had I took one of the rotisserie chickens and it was delicious But it gave me wild shits and everyone in my apartment wild shits. I just haven't been back since I think Costco It has their own poultry farming operations. That's how many rotisserie chickens. I could see that They sell like millions of rotisserie chickens. The chickens good. Yeah, five bucks Not a bad deal. You know what? I got to try doing rotisserie in my I have a fucking Convection oven that has a rotisserie. Yeah, and now you have an instant pot, too. Yeah, a mandolin. Yeah, that's right. I got it all, baby

Oh, yeah, yeah, what should I eat for lunch? Maybe a little sushi sushi's not make some make some rice raw fish Little sashimi. It's crazy. I didn't know until last year if you buy raw fish at the grocery store, you could just eat it raw You should get sushi grade fish. That doesn't mean anything just means it does not mean anything. It just means it's been frozen, I think Really like yeah, they flash freeze it. Yeah, it makes sense. Does it? Yeah, you just freeze You can freeze any piece of fish for a week or so I read on like fucking a wiki how or something Yeah, yeah, well, it would have to be high quality. I don't know. I wouldn't trust any piece of fish on the way Well, I've been doing it for years and it's okay now since I read that I've just been eating raw fish and not worrying about it

Respect on the wiki how to how to be Japanese Start saying thank you to people. That's right. That's number one. Yeah. Yeah, thank you All right, folks. Well, that's gonna do it for us. Thank you for listening come dot town for t-shirts Stavi solves your problems on Friday problems on Fridays and check it out on YouTube on Mondays Mm-hmm. It'll be up on YouTube. That's right. Thank you a great program. Check it out Mm-hmm. Have a good one. We'll be back on Sunday. Enjoy your lives Adam. Do you want to press a button? Yes, this one That's the one that the one that says delete file. Oh