The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 219 – michael clayton

Episode Date: August 6, 2020

im not the guy you suck off im the guy you fuck

All right, we're just gonna go here all right so wait on some confirmation emails about uh We're gonna have a michelle obama michelle obama. He's gonna be on the podcast little cross promo She she can um and it's okay to do on a podcast because there's no video But she's he's gonna demonstrate how she can unpeel a banana with her vagina. Yeah hands-free Really that was her contribution as the first lady was She would go she would often go lady bird johnson got halfway there. She could never really do it Yeah, well, she could do other things with her vagina. She would fuck dogs Fuck the dog that correctly

That's why he lifted those dogs up by the ears because he caught them having sex with his wife. Yeah Yeah, and then is that something that lbj did? Yeah, there's a picture of him holding a dog by the ears The more you know Yeah, yeah, and then and then what's her name part not barbara bush laura bush barbara kush barbara kush She would smoke pussies smoke weed with her pussy. She was smoking. She would dry out She would fucking juice all over the the weed and then dry it out and get high off her own supply

That's so true. Yeah, this is that bitch. It looked like george washington Uh, it's a picture of lbj holding a dog up by his ears. It's pretty famous. Apparently he had a big-ass dick Yeah, he was obsessed with his penis Respect. Do you know that man was raping? No, I think he was chill. No, I think oh no, actually, I think maybe he was a homosexual Lyndon johnson lbj, I don't know. Lyndon's a pretty gay name. Yeah, I will give you that it sounds british But other than that the man was definitely a rape

I feel like everyone was raping back then if you're a politician. Maybe I'm basing this off of like a A story I read once that was fiction. Yeah, there was a story. Hold on. The room was raping until 2012 There's a story. There's a David Foster Wallace story called Lyndon that implies that he was gay Yes, and I'm not sure if it was based on anything. It's not just that story You all the only the only kinds of stories you read are exclusively gay orotic fan fiction about the presidents Yeah, it's true. And by you mean when you mean red you when you say red you mean rote Yeah, yeah, that's why I'm voting for biden because of all the the gay sex stuff. I read about him and obama Biden, yeah, well, I read it after I read it. Yeah, he's by

But What's up guys? How are you doing? I'm doing fine. I guess. I don't know you had a good last couple of days since we saw each other last Wendy it was pretty recent right sunday. What's today? Yeah, we're on a regular schedule is wednesday No, we're back to our regularly scheduled programming. Oh, I went to the dentist. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the big event days Yeah, they were fucking with my mouth. They were screwing. I have a little screw Hole in my mouth now and they were just fucking shit up and my lips all fucked up because I I got a pair And I don't know what happened, but I just you were practicing kissing. No, I was eating a pair and I kept fucking

Biting it biting into my own lip Interesting and I just I tore I tore into maybe you were punishing yourself for enjoying something No, I was carrying groceries so I but I don't know why not having a free hand would mess up my ability to eat a pair I've eaten probably 30 40 pairs in my life. That's it probably. Yeah I'm trying to think Damn, I guess you're right. It's not a go-to fruit. No

Yeah, you're right. I would say I would actually put it around similar numbers. Yeah I've now apples. I've eaten thousands. Yeah, Adam. How many pairs do you think you go to bed every day with my dad? Had a lot of pairs. No, I don't. You sit down in your bed of lettuce. No I have a regular bed made out of bed material. You lay down on your stomach on your bed of lettuce with an apple in your mouth And went out in the morning. Have I eaten it? Yeah. Yeah, of course And then you slowly rotate until The morning. Can I be honest? That sounds kind of nice if I was swaddled. Yeah, like a baby and I was rotating slowly Just stop is wrapped in twine with an apple in his mouth

And then he slowly rotates until the morning No, I that's not what I do. Yeah Something. No, it is. I have something over my nose You just said can I be honest and then the next thing you said was that is exactly That's what happens. Can I be honest? That would feel good. That's exactly what happened Being swaddled, though Although I wonder about that because wouldn't that wouldn't you feel constricted? What would you know when they wrap up babies and twine? Well, some some fellas like to be wrapped up

Yeah, we're just gonna stick. Do you mean condom? We stick cloves into your back and stomach We'd surround you with cloves and then wrap you in twine and then we put an apple in your mouth And it's every night. It's just it's a you know, a lot of people not every night They can sense the palpable tension on the show sometimes between me and adam and you and it's because we've you know slave every night Basting you and you think I'm setting up a full hawaiian Because I don't show enough. I had to learn fire dancing That's true. You know, that's why my skin looks so good

from being glazed and rotiss Being rotissed to sleep brushing honey on stov And then kissing him good night. Damn. Damn. And now I want to fucking pig a whole roasted pig I think we should offer a come town. Fuck you to judy gold Okay. Yeah, she's trash. I lose it. She's a dog shit comedian. It always has been I don't think she's a bad comedian. She's trash. She's never been but I think she's a hypocrite about what she said about shane

And then releasing a book about like that's all about like and then she did it Say whatever you want. She did an interview in salon this week where she brought shane up again Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah in the interview to trash him to trash it to be like, you know, yeah They mentioned shane again in the interview to sell her shitty book Are you fucking kidding as if she's done? There's not a clip of her on serious from like the last four years where she repeatedly calls Nicki Minaj the n-word Which you know jesus christ I used to be like I thought she like apologized for trashing shane. No, not at all Wow, never apologized. She doubled down this week. You're saying she put a book out which nobody's gonna read

It's a book about like What is it like you could say whatever yeah when they felt free speechy when I saw the title It is it's like when they come for comedians. We're all in trouble. Which is like which is exactly who gives a shame It's what she did mean is don't matter. They don't stop pretending comedy matters. They don't matter But it's also least important how how untimely is this fucking book? It's not 2013 Nobody gives a shit about this and even at the time it wouldn't have been fucking insightful or worthwhile writing anyways Yes, especially now when mother fuck when Uh unemployment is about to be cut off and everyone's gonna get evicted

Definitely. No one gives a fuck about comedy. Yeah uh, well, no people give a fuck about comedy, but it's There's really no reason but no one really does it's like the same people that talk about cancel culture Yeah, that's true. No one actually gives a fuck in the world Anyways, I can't imagine the books anything other than her carving out a system in which she's allowed to go on serious and repeatedly But did you have you heard that clip? Yeah, we I think we played it on the show. Yeah Which and it was hilarious That she would say that and then say Shane is like a mom. She said some wild shit about Shane too

The thing is she fucking sucks. I mean, she's this middling fucking dinosaur that's been around forever That's never been particularly funny. I think she's a solid comic. I don't have a problem with her comedy I just I have a problem for a fucking attacking Shane. What's your favorite Judy Gold? Yeah, I'm dude. I I don't have a fucking favorite I'm not a Judy Gold stan. I'm just saying I respect the old What's a good bit that she's wrote then we had to take down all his Judy Gold stuff to put up all that luow stuff before That's right. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't and you know what I'm still a little fucking heated about it all my fucking uh One night stand

HBO I don't fucking know dude. I just you know, I don't necessarily I'm not saying she's a fucking revolutionary comic. I'm saying her What is fucking bullshit is that she would trash Shane? I don't even know her stand up really I think I've just seen her on talking heads shows Like isn't she on I love the 80s or something. She's like one of those kind of people Whatever it doesn't matter what matters is like you should not trash comics for Trying to be funny And getting their shit taken out of context and then losing the biggest a job that would have made him fucking rich

And set his family up And then especially when you do the exact same shit and then furthermore You definitely shouldn't do that when you're about to release a book about how comedians can say Whatever they want or how they're a fucking endangered species when you did that to your own to a comic Well, I think the official fuck you still stands, right? I think so. Yeah Um, and I I second it So if you can third I third it. Okay. I third it. Yeah, it was bullshit what she's fucking said about Shane. Yeah Um

I'm sorry. I don't want to take the wind out of your sails if you want to trash you to go. No, it's all right. That's fine I don't know what else is going on. What's her hold? What's her shtick is that she's jewish and lesbian big jewish lesbian, huh? I guess there's a lot of controversy with lesbian comedians this week With all the The child sex on the ellen show Damn, you know, there was some fucking like twink assistance that got whipped by ellen That just happened. It was abuse. Yeah, it's it's why I don't even think it was I mean, I guess ellen was like a bitch to people I can't imagine she's a very friendly

But then the um her like top three producers or whatever We're doing like predatory homosexuality Wow The best kind I mean that does also grabbing people's dicks and shit And I guess they would complain to ellen and ellen's like, well, I'm a lesbian So I don't even I don't know what you want me to do about it. I don't even like guys Which is a solid argument I don't even know what that's about. I don't even fuck with dicks

The fuck I give him probably the last person you want to tell about this That's disgusting You expect me to do If some fucking queer is grabbing Your penis, I don't know like what the fuck you're you're making me sick. You're speaking greek to me. You're making me Yeah, I'm fucking about the throw up. He's talking about a man's penis again Now maybe if somebody, you know chewed on your labia like a little piece of bologna without you asking that's something Mm-hmm. Maybe I could come in that's a red line for me

You know, we could have a sit down. I could throw some menstrual blood in her face And then we could share a cigarette outside of a coffee shop For some l justice a big l justice Yeah, they parlay they parlay If somebody gets pussy blood on their face, I'm telling you what I imagine to be going on Based on my knowledge They gather the council of elders rosie ellen

I mean, I it's like, you know, I think louis is right. I think they're canceling ellen to make joe rogan look bad And it's because it's because of the spotify deal. I think it's true. The dominos are falling. Yeah, oh dude If you think about it, dude I mean if you really think about it Why does ellen get cancelled? Because she has a show who else has a show joe rogan Yeah, that's true So they're going after show people

Yep To make rogan look bad because he's squeaky clean. I love how like confident louis wasn't saying that. Yeah Is there gonna be like next week that somebody's gonna be like joe rogan rape me? He doesn't feel like a rapist to me, but I don't know. Uh, who knows anyone can be a rapist, I guess. Yeah Cosby Yeah, never would have seen that one coming No, no one would have seen it coming But I mean besides the joke he did about spanish

That issue he did do a joke in like the 70s about How sometimes you just have to drug a bitch Respect You see that and then telling people to fuck him that boozy clip, right? What that boozy clip where he's like He's like they knew what was in them drinks Bitch you had Bill Cosby's house. You know what's in them drinks That's such a good thing let the man out of jail Man

We got here killing people. You got a 97 year old black man in jail. Let him out of jail with the virus They let Harvey Weinstein out That's a good day They letting Harvey Weinstein out I Put you pussy on live he hasn't dialed That's how to boozy man. Yeah, listen, it's about debate and it's about not, you know hearing all viewpoints Yeah, and he's a he's an important voice. He's never said anything. I disagree with

I agree. I think anytime I've heard him speak on anything. I think the yeah, stop expecting dyke ass allen to solve your problems Come on, man Eleni pussy She ain't never had any kind of genius dna put into a bottle They can't they can't be solving problems because they ain't got no spermin Did you see the follow-up to the nick cannon thing is that he started reading the berry? That's so awesome. He's like, yeah, I'm learning. I'm learning about anti-semitism. He's gonna be a pro-israel guy now The kid is gonna go execute a palestinian child himself. Oh god

Yeah, little boozy has some excellent takes on a dwayne wage transgender daughter as well I think he's when he called him his son The wage son. Yeah, something about you. Come on, man. Don't chop the boys penis off, man The best part about that video is that he's just in between sats at playing Yes, that's right. Just literally playing it. Not the gym playing in fitness. You see the yellow and purple Imagine you're just at playing fitness and you're like is that fucking Little boozy. Is he making a video? Like you'd be annoyed if that was anyone else let alone

rapper little boozy Yeah, respect Yeah, that's so far wipe me down because i'm gay because i'm gay suck me off Don't cut his penis off, man Don't cut his penis Penis off, man. It is very funny that how that works is they cut your penis off Oh fuck. Yeah, suck me off because i'm gay Because i'm gay

I feel like if I were going in for surgery and you're like they're like well We'll tell you what the process is first we cut your penis off. You're like, ah Yeah, can you not say that? Just say we're making a vagina. I don't give you a nice pussy. Yeah Yeah, it's step one of the pussy Step one guillotine your penis because that's gotta yeah cutting your balls off no matter what that's gotta just don't say that You know what I mean? Yeah Just be like if you know you think you get heart surgery like well the first thing we're gonna do is paper cut your eyeballs

Yeah, you're like I just we're gonna rip open your chest. Yeah, I don't want that We're gonna make a decision and this is all imagined. I don't know That is what the surgeons say Can you have it's gay sex? Do you know what that means? G-a-y-s-e-s-e That's sexy G-a-y-e-s-e-e-s Gay seats

I'm having gay sex. Do you know what that means? Shout out to young philosopher a little booze a little booze Adele Oh, fuck fuck mate. Yeah, I went to the fucking dentist. I'm in about three weeks I'm gonna have a tooth. You're a new man Well, I don't have the tooth yet. You're gonna be hot Dude all this gorgeous hair. Oh my god an extra tooth a hair tooth. I've gained probably 60 pounds Oh, yeah, these bitches about to get their pussies chomped on with all 32 teeth somebody sent me flowers

How many teeth are there? Who sent you flowers? I have no idea. They were anonymous like a fan. Yeah, but now they're that's very nice Now the flowers are dead and uh I guess they were expensive. I showed the flowers to some girls and they were like that looks like it costs probably $200 Damn for real. It is it is annoying how much flowers cost. They're so you get a solid one It's like $80 and I don't know if I killed it. They're supposed to die, right? They only last like two weeks. Yeah, that's even long Oh, really? Yeah, two weeks is a good ride. Did you put the little did you put the little fucking food in there? No, I don't know what the fuck that is. You give you a little packet of fucking flowers

If you want to send me a gift it better not involve learning Maybe don't send Nick something that dies. That's kind of sad, you know Send him something back in life. No, you can send just send me more flowers. It's like, yeah You got me hooked on flowers. That's true Flowers are nice, dude. It's nice and like if you have a table a big table in your house, it's nice to fucking Get a nice fresh thing of flowers. Yeah, it is nice. Well, I don't have a big table. What I have is uh Yeah, your apartment is laid out weird. Yeah Uh, it's a plio my apartment set up for working out and playing video games

You're the uber male Yeah um Yeah, it is nice to have flowers around I got ripped off Before we recorded last time by who james bond by a florist and uh Really? Yeah, I was usually when you guys look out for each other No, it was a russian lady

When nick an old woman when nick started and I was here late I was um In the process of being ripped off by a florist How did that feel? It felt bad Felt bad. I said, can I get I was told to go into the store and get 12 Roses garden variety roses and she came out with a massive Arrangement that took her 25 minutes to make damn and she charged me 75 dollars damn

You just wanted lucies. I just wanted lucy. You wanted 12 lucy fucking bullshit roses Yeah, but after the eric garner incident, you know florists are afraid Was that in a florist? He was flipping lucies. Oh You know you get I see yeah That sucks man. I hate to I hate to see my boy go down like that. Yeah, it was it did suck Should we go back there and fuck that old bitch up? Well My girlfriend went back there and then was pissed off that I was taken advantage of like that

Right a woman defended your honor and then she She's like when I came back to do the show she went back and then she got an offender bender Oh, man on the way to yell at that florist respect And then the florist took the flowers back and said this isn't the right card even though it was the right card And we've subsequently emailed and called her back and she's 75 dollars That bitch is eating deluxe borscht on your dime right now, dude How does it feel it was a weird setup at that store because it was like her adult gay son In an office that she was shouting at

And and just her manning the floor of the nice the florist. Did that guy did you and him have sparks? No, no, he looked pretty sad Looked like I have to leave the rest of my life with this woman How do you look was he cute no, no necessarily damn she's so mean to me that sucks I wouldn't want to live with my russian fucking mean ass mom. Yeah, nor would I just find this quarrel a question What's the difference between Cheerios and honey not Cheerios? Fucking idiot. Yeah, whoever asks that is a fucking idiot. Yeah. Anyways, if you like asking questions, you'll love bluetue doc Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, bluetue.com is

It's a website. It's a website that you'll love if you love if you love sex. Do you love sex? If you love s c x e s e g a y s e e x e y. Do you know what that mean? I'm gay f f u c k i n g m e and do you know what that means? F u c k i n g p u s s y e. Do you know what that mean? I love f u c k i n g m e and do you know what that mean, man Yes, if you want to give you your fuck. I got my own dick. I got my own ass If you like sex you'll love bluetue.com Bluetue.com offers a performance enhancement for the boudoir for the boudoir What's a boudoir it's uh..

It's a it's a bedroom for real answer not the real answer, please joke answer. It's a bedroom for guys We're doing professional comedy not looking for the literal answer to The question I think it's where French men commit rape. Yeah, that's where it got its name to begin with. Yeah Very good. Thank you. Very good. Definitely better than um I did not It's it's the French word. I didn't say that

You didn't hear what I said take them to the bit well I blew to wrap them with blue cheer. My name is John fucking My name is John guess X My name is John suck beneath But you that come you can get the first you'll chewable chewable is I put them in my house. Let's chewable is with this not work active ingredients Syllidene feel what a dollar fee Which is the same as via grar

In Chiangles Chiangles I can wait to take a Chiangles What I do is I take a boy and I feed him blue chew Vincenzo my penis it does not work. I'm a penis if you don't know where I'm in chains And so I have to take a Chiangles Come where the fuck Achilles Where's the fuck Achilles the chalice where the fuck is a chalette? I'd like a Chiladid the chuladu pound the gabbagool Come where's all my frozen chiladid?

I'm trying to get my fucking dick You know it did bother. That's very nice Tony you're gonna say that in front of your son that your dick doesn't work He's fucking I don't care. I don't fucking care Just fucking Meadow in the car dad does your dick not work who the fuck told you that fuck telling my penis That's very disrespectful daddy. Does your penis not get you know, it's offensive to Italian Americans We're very hard to make our dick's work. We come over here. We got a monkey in an accordion trying all this shit to make our fucking dick work

Yeah, the accordion is a pump the monkey is actually pumping your penis getting jacked off by a fucking monkey for 200 years It was already dropped off at school The blue shoe.com when your grandfather came here for my valine though Yeah, all he knew how to do was make his dick hard What part of the booty you hear from are you trying to fuck me mr. Supra? No, I'm just saying because you came in here cuz your penis isn't working shut the fuck up Fucking bitch I came in here cuz I'm fine

Cuz I'm perfectly normal It works. I'm only here cuz I'm trying to fuck you the tone The final episode is brand is when it fades to black It's actually Tony gets a phone call from Melphie and she's like come over to my apartment Then he go fucks her finally gonna let you fuck and then yeah, he fucks Melphie And then David Chey said all this by the way. Yeah, he fucks Melphie and then she's like, were you gonna come in on Monday? He's like nah, I'm I never really needed I was playing the long game. I was I was trying to smage

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Dick pills absolutely if they're for life for life. Well, yeah, if your dick is cute enough Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not you have to pay you have to email them pictures of you soft penis Yep, you say hey you ever see something like this Yeah, go to blue chew calm and then go to the help section Go to the help section and then without anything else email them a picture of your that's what they want No in-person doctor visit What I you can you can do this you can get blue chew and then you could just mail pictures of your penis Different doctors around the answer. Yep, and show them your dick hard and be like guess who doesn't need your walk you doctor

Yeah, wouldn't give me fucking dick pills. Well, guess what I found a website on the internet that will Yeah, we got a my own thing going on Yeah, this thing of ours this thing of ours So circumventing actual in-person doctors that won't give us dick pills the chewables from blue chew dot-com are made in the USA by Bruce Springsteen himself Mm-hmm. It's a blue chew. Sog the dick in a small town. Well, I may take pills And my own dick doesn't work And I don't make enough money at the factory to get my own dick pills to use So

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There's a blue chew comic at your first order free when you use promo code come down. He's paying her You don't shoot me as BLU you don't BLU. Why do I do I fuck that up every time BLUE? Yeah, I think it's cuz my mind does it in alphabetical order. No, it's cuz you think of a blue cheese. Oh, yeah, blue cheese Yeah, I'll at the bed while I put the bridges in his ass and I fuck him. That's BLUE chew comm promo code come down promo code pussy. Yeah Slash cock. So if you're trying to if you're trying to get your dick where the Dev sayings I had a I Can't wait to have my penis where they have seeks. I went to the Costco yesterday

Mmm, and oh boy. Here we go. Man friend to beat me up. Really? Yeah, for what? I don't know what I did and You know, my face was covered in a mask. Normally. I would be like, oh I really put that energy out there man that you're a bitch Yeah, but it was funny because he did have a similar voice to like a John-Claude Van Damme, but he was like yeah But he was hey you with that faggot face over here. No, he said why don't you come fuck me and my ass stuff guy? I think he was trying to say Take a picture it'll last longer take a picture of my penis ass, but he said I wasn't looking at him

But he said it was beating off to this man. Why don't you come photograph my penis? What he said was um? Do you want the picture of me motherfucker? I? Mean he got you pretty good. Do I want a picture of him? The were you looking at him? Maybe I was really confused what he was even trying to say or was I think yeah Here comes a Christmas card from my ass Yeah, but he said do you want the picture of me motherfucker? Maybe it was maybe it was John-Claude Van Damme No, it was a it was a it was a bigger bigger Yeah, it was a big fat guy. Okay, you can say it. It was a fat ass. Okay

You can say it man. Mm-hmm. Don't tiptoe around. This should be a good Slur for fat a big-boned Jay was jiggler We got a couple of jigglers jigglies Couple jiggly puffs. Yeah, um, so he was a fat Tarzan he's fucking jigglers. He was a big fat guy to okay say that tall And fat yeah, but I don't know what I did. It was very confusing Look jigglers gonna jig. Yeah, so they're gonna they're gonna jiggle. Yep

I mean, he there were a bunch of you know orthodox Jews around him He could have picked on any of them, but he chose me. Mm-hmm your vibe. You were a vibe. Hey, Santa Claus. Nice curly ears Yeah, John-Claude Van Damme ranch and eat them John-Claude Van Damme was a Costco bullying Hasidic Jews Hey, why don't you come? Why don't you come make me out of clay tough guy? You know be really disrespectful as if John-Claude Van Damme did a split right above your face and then his nuts dropped Just so gently on your nose. Mm-hmm. That would be a ultimate disrespect. Yeah, that would be if he gave me the Arabian goggles Whilst doing the splits I remember after like God damn it's such a good phrase. The Arabian goggles. Well, you know those Arab guys

You saw that scene in Aladdin Remember after the the Farger yeah, there's just nuts on the parent's face. Oh my god Get your nuts off. That's why Gilbert Godfrey by the way. Do Arabians have goggles? Or they just picked the one culture that doesn't have goggles. I mean, they should have goggles for the sand Yeah, all those sandstorms. Maybe they do the British guys that would go there to bugger Mm-hmm Fucking Nigel Thornberry teeth. Yeah, imagine how much sand they got there for us. I would Danny to have guys six

Dude, they're they're fucking they're fucking four skins must have been filled with shit and sand through the British Yeah, having sex in the desert the British Getting high and saying that yourself Just kind of just walk around your apartment doing it. It becomes so fun. It feels excellent I think the British the absolute king I've smoked pot Yeah, dude, he will forever just be a symbol of my beautiful youth. I've tried I've tried That's why I always love Tom because I associate it with starting stand-up comedy. Yeah, so it's nostalgia and he's the best on his own Yeah

Damn, I hope I don't really miss those days. I do when you just suck at comedy And you have no idea where it's gonna go. No, but you're getting better and it's not you're not worried about a career You're just like this feels good to level up. Yeah, it's like the beginning part of a video game Yeah, we have to just do side quests. You don't have to worry about the gay ass plot You have to worry about feeding yourself and you're not a 31 year old man Yeah with a fucked up penis that needs medicine to work You know what I mean? No, that doesn't apply to me that does it does. I know for a fact it does not even though you're not as fat as me

I'm fat at all, but your penis still doesn't work. It works It works 24-7 Is that you're always pissing a little bit. I'm always pissing a diaper always busting It's one slow little fucking drip. Yeah, I Sucked a dick in a small town. I sucked a dick in a factory Was a dick sucking factory And now they're closing the factory down And I don't know what to do because they've made it illegal to suck dick outside

Damn dude, I hate draconian fucking government oversight. I hate draconian government oversight Of the underground dick sucking industry It reminds me of my uncle Ted is sucking on my dick I'm saying son one day you're gonna do this as a job So that's why I'm technically not molesting you This is jobs training. Yeah spring the boss. I'm not molesting you The boss And then just a nice 15-minute sack solo

Shouts out by the way to Silvio Pretty nice run. Yeah, he's a Bruce Springsteen's band. Mm-hmm. Then he's on the best show of all time. Yeah, it's true You must have gotten all types of pussy. Oh, he's probably married. I guess he was a hairpiece guy Yeah, actually he was the guy that danced in the Bruce Springsteen band I Think that was Clarence when he was shout out to the dancing guy in the mighty mighty Boston's the atom of the mighty I just watched Clueless and they're in that movie It'd be funny to see like it. Yeah an atom equivalent of a band

Then it's just a guy on stage with his hands in his pockets Clapping that's nonchalant Like who is that? That's a style. Who is that other guy in stone temple pilots that would just be standing there on stage? Yeah, it's just every 30 seconds being like, yeah No, I think like I would the people think he's chill and technically in the band Yep, by the skin of his teeth and technically on his paycheck I suck the dick in my ass

I got my dick fucked by a guy. I am gay and you can't stop me Uncle Sam I think it'd be funny to use Glenn Greenwald's encrypted email address to send him pictures of your cock Just unsolicited pictures of your asshole and cock. Yeah at his at his P2P private Edward Snowden Tell him you have some leaks for him. Yeah, I got something leaks. All right. I got some nice leaks He has to check it on a 200 pound laptop Yeah, satellite connection. I got yeah, I got important details coming in He's in Brazil, right? Yeah Damn people try to that guy keep city of God that guy keeps getting fucking corona

That's what they call Brazil the city of God who Bolsonaro. Yeah, that may keep the loves corona Well, he always almost dies. That's this rocks. I mean before corona. He almost died. He's so hilarious. He always looks like shit Yeah, he looks like a henchman. I think it's cool. I think being a world leader in the neck brace is cool. Yeah, absolutely But like that's the kind of vibe where it's like he's just always going to survive Yeah, which sucks. Yeah, it would be funny if he died Um bullsuck narrow. That's that's They should try that They should try him dying. Maybe he'll stop tearing down the

Rainforest if they call him bullsuck narrow. Yep He sucks some you have some narrow balls at him. That's actually a great not narrow. They're just I have a lot of scrotum Yeah, actually, that's exactly right. Your balls are narrow. I mean sometimes they're not a lot like after a bust It's they're pretty normal. They're narrow I'm not gonna say it again. Why is it? Don't make him say it again. I'm not making him say it. It sounds like you are you're provoking stavros And you're fucking pissing me off. It's pissing me off in in and you see what that does to the whole dynamic I don't want in time. We're having a nice time on the podcast. I know I'm fucking pissed off because you you're gonna make me say it again

I don't want to make him talk about your narrow balls They're not narrow. Okay. What the fuck did I say? They're narrow. All right. Are you happy? I said it one more time. I'm not happy God damn. Why is it? Why do the balls? Jesus Christ after you bust, right? Jesus, louise It would make more sense if the top if the balls themselves would get small and not the sack itself Do you know what I mean? You topic. Why do you have? I'm not talking balls Why does the skin go in but not the why what the size of the balls are the same? They're not

What do you mean? I don't have to fucking tell you anything the size of your balls diminishes significantly after a bust The actual balls. Yeah, the organ versus the thing at the juice What are you talking about? You know, I used to have a shirt to say it's a camel back Think of your nuts as a camel back eat my dust that I got it It came aren't my dust. Mm-hmm. And I thought it was funny because it's just such a dumb shirt The worst and I'm I gave I donated it and now I wish I hadn't because I'm just remembering how often I was complimented by homeless people specifically On that shirt I mean probably only happened like three times, but it was a weird significant

It was a weird thing that homeless people they love eat my dust. Yeah. I walked by this one guy one time and he goes Uh eat my guts. All right, man. I'm yeah I like that That's a shame man Yeah, you imagine what you could have done if you gave it to one of them I know well, I did technically no probably went to some fucking ass. This were homeless people shop at salvation army I like the whole premise of salvation army is like don't eat your clothes. So some hipster can buy them. Of course Yeah, yeah, dude. So anything cool can go to a dickhead

Yeah All the all the shitty fucking free t-shirts will go to the homeless. Maybe yeah Suck the dick in this month. I can't stop thinking about that. I suck the penis Good night, folks We I'm gay That was the first I think parody song you ever heard me do adam was spring scene in the car Yeah, when we were in new Orleans and you were so amazed by the concept of

No, now you got to turn it into you were crying, dude. You called me. We weren't even I thought I was on that trip You did a hey little girl is your daddy home. I want to suck his dick Hey little girl is your daddy home Tell him to come outside and want to suck his dick Oh Fuck Damn the fucking boss. Yeah, I was getting myself good imagining like csi or You know

Fucking like ncis one of those shows There's like, yeah, we got a handwriting expert coming from quantico But then you just got that like just a quick shot of the letter and it's just from like a teenage girl Right being like if the money isn't in my account in two weeks And just some guy in a suit being like, yeah, this guy's a fag You can tell from his gay ass handwriting By the loops you can tell this is gay and the guy Just put this guy's gay. He puts hearts over the eyes instead of thoughts. Where'd you get this guy?

I'm thinking he wrote this after he kissed his boyfriend. He's just one of the best It's one of the gayest handwritings I've ever seen. It's millennium. It's fucking Lance Henriksen This guy's a fag He's got one of the coolest voices that guy. Yeah, you'll never sound like that like Lance Hendrickson like me and lance You don't sound like Lance. Yeah, I do. Who's Lance Hendrickson? Uh, Daniels Oh, that's not his name, is it? No, you're thinking of um I'm I'm thinking of Lance Reddick. Lance Reddick. Lance Hendrickson is a different guy. Oh

Who's Lance Hendrickson? Lieutenant Daniels is just a black guy that speaks like no his voice. No, he's got a nice deep voice No, he's you know, see you're crazy. He uses like theater voice I think all of the guys on the wire were professional theater actors Or they were literally drug dealers. I think bunk owned a mini mall Bunk. Yeah That'd be awesome. Yeah, I don't think he was an actor. No, I think he was I think David I know who you're thinking of. There's something Living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes. Oh, yeah, we can find them at the market. We're talking about flea market

Montgomery Is just like a mini mall Oh You heard me come shop with us I'm gay. We're a hilarious generation to be to be like a like a black guy that was too young for like r&b or so Yeah, like seven like totally miss rap though, right? But no, but still like old enough for the worst era of rap music Yeah, like early hip-hop you could just erase the entire 1980s. Yeah, and it wouldn't fucking matter I don't I don't recognize Lance Henrykson

Um, yeah, you do. I'm looking at it right now motherfucker. You're looking at a picture of a man's penis No, and the man I was but not anymore. The man is wearing underwear and guess what kind of underwear it is What guess what kind of underwear he's wearing guess what kind of underwear Gay underwear guess it is from a majuel No, majuel majuel Yeah, majuel Sorry, I am looking at the guys. It's great. You're right. And can I say something his dick looks even bigger in these mac welden underwear

Geez, I wish I wish there was a way for me to get the kind of underwear that makes my dick look huge like mac welden And mac welden is uh, you know, they had a simple mission is to make sure that your dick doesn't look fucking stupid Yeah In the gym if you're like me you go to the gym And you spend about six and a half hours in the locker room Always slowly trying on every pair of underwear Sizing everyone up wearing a a a hamburger outfit from the neck up And breaking into all the lockers and trying on everyone's underwear

Oh, yeah, yeah And what I found personally is that mac welden underwear is the best underwear to steal and prance around in silently In the men's locker room twirling around like a woodland fairy. Yep. If you were in a cartoon your feet would go Yes, completely silent twirling and spinning dancing beautifully in the moonlight Uh-huh in the locker room in equinox Wearing someone else's pair of mac welden and then somebody's like bro What the hell the fuck are you wearing my fucking underwear, bro? Like you'll never know

Thrice the moon cursed thee and then you get beaten up And it's not technically a hate crime because the finance guy was able to secure a good enough lawyer to explain that He meant the other kind of fag Uh-huh cigarettes Because he did a semester of his great grandfather was English And so when you were just brutally beaten And called the fag at a million times in the the locker room and he was referring to the other kind But you know what you do it all again just for a chance to wear those mac welden underwear

Well, good news. You don't even that doesn't even have to happen anymore. You don't even have to deal with that You don't have to steal and get hate crimes by a beefy finance beefy finance unless that's what you're into Unless that's the only reason for having the gym membership Our mission is simple to make sure all of your basics and beyond they're smartly designed and shopping for them is easy and convenient I hate when shopping is not Yeah, no, they were we're back with mac welden Nice to be on the where they actually gave me another Another little credit and I got some underwear. I already used it up. So you guys can't

I like the taste. I like to wet my beaks. No, no, no, no, no. I already I already got myself Maybe we could share we absolutely cannot share it adam. That's a good question Can I share it? No, I already I already I'm already wearing all of them. I'm already wearing six or seven pairs That I got for mac welden is that comfortable that you can wear Multiple multiple layers of it. Mm-hmm. I'm ready for winter. That's true. You know, you don't even need extra Yeah, your dick is the only thing you need to keep warm is your cock is your penis. Yeah is the The mind's brain the brain of the body the brain is the brain is

Is what they call the brain the mind of the groin Uh-huh. Um, most underwear is shit. I actually I literally actually threw out all of mine Some of it I gave the Ian when he came to my apartment and had shit himself You gave him some or you gave him one I gave him some pairs of underwear. That's very nice of you That I was getting rid of there weren't mac welden underwear. It was the other underwear That I don't want anymore now that I have mac welden underwear. Um, oh god damn You're right, man. Yeah, I'm sorry. I just I got like indigestion or something I ate probably

Half a jar of salsa this morning respect. Yeah chips with egg whites Wow, no nothing crunchy. I have I have probably 16 gallons of egg whites from cosco that I need to go through Okay, yeah, so make fancy non-alcoholic drinks for yourself. I will I'll make out an egg white egg cream Yeah, egg cream version martinis. Yeah, boston stepdads That's what they call them It's you who an egg whites

Um, so mac welden they found they wanted something more out of the basics You know he's questioned how something so essential Could be such such a pain in the ass to buy Damn, you know what? I'm wearing action. I'm actually you can look I'm wearing mac welden underwear right now Oh, those look very fetching. I'm actually not wearing underwear. I see my balls from my hips. Oh, nice. Yeah For my hips. Oh nice balls. He's got no underwear on for my hips down to my thighs This is actually the only area of my body that's not in just excruciating pain It's the only part of me that's comfortable and the rest is just burning. Just absolutely acid in my veins

my bones are Disintegrated feel them crumbling turning into some sort of like caustic Powder, but now your pelvic bones and my mind is bleeding. It's seeping your blood into my mouth and I'm decaying Yeah, but everything from my cock ball Area penis dude. It's like it's like in fucking aruba. It's Cabo San Lucas. You got a vacation happening in the pants My dick has got a little Lua on a little I'm a mini um umbrella stuck in your urethra. Yeah a little umbrella in there It's this is a guy get my balls are sitting in a coconut

They're on vacation. Oh, yeah, the rest of my body though. It feels like I've been thrown into the gears of big ben Just excruciate. Yep And uh, if you're if you live in constant pain if you have chronic fatigue syndrome Yes, which because it's technically not a real virus. It's fake. Um, we can say that uh, Uh, uh, Mack Weldon is officially the cure for coronavirus for not cure coronavirus, but for chronic fatigue. Okay. Okay, uh Fibromyalgia Lyme's disease and yes anything fake like and and vitiligo If only Michael Jackson all four of which are just Universally accepted as malingering. Yeah, there's malingering fake diseases for board housewives. Yeah

Um, so if you're a board housewife, probably try on a pair of Mack Weldon. Oh, yeah wrap your pussy in some of this Fucking silver anti-microbial put your bitch in him and take a stroll I forgot about that. Yeah um, there's a Mack Weldon's frustration with it was Real. Oh, yeah, he was a frustrated ass guy. Yeah There was a guy named Mack Weldon. He worked in finance and he was Yeah, he was just a gay guy who kept stealing his underwear Some guy at the gym kept putting on his underwear twirling around

Like a woodland fairy Placing placing pagan hexes on him right playing a pan flute. Yeah If you're tired of the moon being hexed by underwear stealing woodland fairies Yeah, maybe you should try out Maxwell and underwear. They start max welding max Well, that was what it started. Yeah Mack Weldon underwear. We started from scratch and then engineered our own fabric They did not we we didn't do anything. I did absolutely. I don't want to give the wrong impression that we know how I used to work there We know how to make on I don't know. I used to work there. I know I don't know much

They're actually they it's not just underwear. They actually make bibs if you're a big fat guy like stop Well, they don't I asked them to but they don't yeah But I don't need one of those. Thank you. It's like I do. I do get stains on my shirt a lot We should bring bibs back actually they did you go to one of your Brooklyn crab you get a little bib Yeah, why is that the only uh, uh, acceptable bib environment is seafood Dude, thank you. They should have that at more restaurants speak on it my brother Surrounded by a mind-numbing assortment of underwear and socks. We realized consistent fit and quality became a game of roulette I hate that the deer hunter

So I hate when some fucking Vietnamese guys yelling me out trying to fucking Chinese guy. I'm trying to just Steal underwear at the gym. Yeah, and some Chinese guy Yeah, he's screaming at you and putting a gun to your head Uh, they started from scratch an engine a smart designs premium fabric simple shop Yeah, yeah, they they're better than whatever you're wearing right now. Um My thing my my what I didn't even know underwear existed until I got back. Well, now used to just have a A small top hat I'd place over my penis. Yeah for a cattillion. Yeah, I would stuff leave sound my pants I have uh, all of uh, all the words to the Gettysburg address tattooed on my thighs

interesting and then my my Uh, penis where is the top hat? So kind of an homage to Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, because you know Look, if you're wearing mac welden like me, you're hooking up with a lot of black girls And you want them to know you're on the right side of history So you have to have an Abraham Lincoln tattoo on your penis Yeah, and you have to support the Lincoln project as in oh my what is the Lincoln project? It's a bunch of gay ass republicans pretending to be good Yeah, I don't know. I just see people mad about it. And I've never looked at the they're they're like never trump republicans No, they're like there's a pack against trump that they started

You know guys, they were like the wreck was tight. And what the fuck does it have to do with lincoln's? Because he was the only good republicans. He was yeah, he was because he said he was so The slaves and he was so old ago that he's not even fucking technically one of them Yeah, it was a completely different political party at the time Yeah, fucking Who's another good one? They was it's every they all suck off him or Reagan Eisenhower, I thought does ike ike was cool Yeah, but he was he had the gat on him

He was fucking it'd be fun to do that with the politician that's still alive like the obama project And then every tweet is like we need to put chinese people in jail Respecting the heritage And the the the foresight that a barack obama had in deciding what he would say today, right? He's like, uh, actually, um, uh the psych. Uh, I just I've been in the locker room stealing underwear. I've been Taking underwear and twirling around. Uh, I've been wearing uh Uh, wearing other people's underwear. I put on mack weld. Yeah, you can't and I get fucked in my ass Wearing mack weld and underwear going to locker room

Twirl around like a fairy They're better than whatever you wear. They they they does indeed mack weld and does indeed offer industry leading underwear Okay, that's a weird sentence. Yeah, they does indeed does indeed. Yeah. Yes. Uh, diddly does it I does indeed there are really one stop shop for men's basics of all kinds Your basic sock shirts hoodie underwear vesper polos and four-way active shorts. Wow vesper polos damn four-way active shorts Perfect. It's like your dick. They fuck your ass. Yeah, well, it's like a lemon party. So yeah The fucker four-way I'm gonna say it's a stretch type of thing

I guess stretch four-ways, but I also I get so many targeted ads for like Kettlebell shorts now. Yeah on instagram It's like, I know you thought you were exercising before what's been holding you back Is the shorts right? Just a million of them by that but I get a bunch of targeted ads with that uh That skateboarder Do you get those? Yes, the dreadlock guy dreadlock guy who's like light skin. You can't tell what So yeah, he's oh, yeah, the light skin the guy with the david koresh glasses

But his ads he like likes the shorts too much Yeah, and they're kind of weird like the latest one I got it's him like opening the box It's weird because for whatever reason that guy's targeted ads feel way more personal And not that they seem more authentic. It's clearly him used to hook up. It's clearly a targeted ad But it's like it feels like he like it you're like The reality of that person existing as an individual somehow comes through more Not that it's like he really believes in this product, but you're watching a human being Or somebody who exists. Yeah, and I don't really know exactly what I mean, but I think you want to fuck him

No, it makes you uncomfortable I mean, you're the one that's saying all this and you immediately knew who I was talking about and pretending like you didn't So it seems like you you're like, oh, yeah, I think I know they he's like light skin And you can't tell he's maybe half asian and you've like looked into it. You're like, yeah star sign is leo and Look, and yeah, you're great. You're good at deflection and you're good at having you're the one deflecting I'm being specific talking about what's going on here that I've identified. I don't want to kiss this guy Yeah, it sounds like you Adam's trying to Adam's trying to try out of you. He's nick is gay. I mean we've established that nick is gay

But it's why is this guy triggering me? You're right. You're right. Why is it this guy? It's a well-established fact that nick is a homosexual. This is full projection from stavros I don't know who has been even before the show and I did I don't want to do this Okay, but he was saying hey man when we do the mac walden read Can you bring up that skateboarder guy? I think I say I I don't if it's in the read then I can kind of play it off like it's just I'm joking around But I wanted this stavros like I want to put it out there that I want to kiss the mixed race skateboarder

First of all, we took a pack that whatever goes into pre-production meetings. Yeah, it's pretty messed up for you to bring that up That's okay. That's against our Now people know that was the nuclear that's against our bylaws mac won believes in smart design premium fabrics and simple shopping Yes, mac walden will be the most comfortable underwear socks shirts undershirts hoodies and sweatpants that you'll ever wear They have a line of silver underwear and shirts that are naturally antimicrobial. Oh, yeah Which means that they eliminate odor. They don't stink if you're like stavros you smell bad from letting come dry in your ass Nobody is a little self-conscious. You got stink lines coming. Yeah. Yeah Who you you know you're attacking me. I'm not attacking the same truth who started this

No, I'm just trying to read the thing I think I'm just trying to read the thing if there was an opportunity Look, you could have called me gay when I was doing the thing about the locker room That was way more revealing about secret desires. I don't think so and you could have said that's that's real That's not a joke and I would have been like touche But I bring up the skateboarder. You're gay. I'm not right. You must be gay for that guy You would have been like touche. Here's the other thing. This is another. This is another beautiful example Not to you obviously you would have been you would have immediately destroyed. No, you would have said, you know what?

Why don't you go get me a coffee? All right, you know, why don't you pipe down while we try to get through this ad You have a coffee in front of you and you know that I ran out. I like the other riff this This is another this is a classic Um example of history judging me correctly. Hold on the folks at mack welden have created because we do actually have to get through this They've created because we got it now. They have this loyalty program. Oh nice, which is something adam could learn a thing or two Is a loyalty program is loyalty We should have a loyalty program for adam where he no longer gets paid from the podcast but gets points

Yes, where we've traded in his money social credit system point system. Yeah, we keep all the money You get certain prices if you get enough points He gets he gets $15,000 worth of points every month that he can spend it either Dave and Buster's or sheets Right and then we get a kickback on that and then I am we I have to go gamble at all Dave and Buster's and then sell The sell the merch the merch that I get from the price then I gotta sell my Chinese finger traps I gotta and you that way you feel like you earned the value of a dollar. Mm-hmm. That is a hard day It's work right there. Mm-hmm gaming at Dave and Buster's The folks at mack welden have created their own totally free loyalty program called welden blue level one gets you free shipping for life

And once you reach level two by spending $200 mack welden will start giving you 20 percent percent percent 20 percent off every order for the next year. Wow Damn, I'm telling you with this I haven't yeah, man. I haven't had talks in sunday. That's true. I isolate myself and just fucking chewing into my goddamn whip The shit is excruciating. I'm sorry. Thank god. I've got mack welden underwear on which they're anti microbial So they have released a small amount of oxycontin into your body as you're wearing. Yeah, that's how you deal with your pain Mm-hmm Wait, but uh, you don't talk when we're not doing the show

No, why would I talk you would you like live at like a monk like existence? I'm in my apartment locked down like everybody else and I don't have roommates I mean, what the fuck do you think I'll text people? But yeah, I'm not speaking. There's no reason to What if you get a phone call? I mean, yeah, if I get a phone call, but I mean, that's like a when I say I haven't been talked. I mean, you know what the fuck I know I don't know. I was just asking God damn it. Why fuck? Why are you mad at me because you're making me talk more I already told you I chewed into my lip eating a pear

You said that this is the time that you have to talk All right, let's move on. What's this promo? Nick? You're still chewing your lips. I'm chewing your lip like that Well, it's not good for you. I'm chewing on the outside. I know but it's because you pissed me off I don't know, but it's like I don't want to see you hurting yourself. I don't want to see you hurt yourself I don't want to see you. Maybe who told you that? Yeah, it's cool that both our sponsors are kind of competing One blue chew to make your penis come out of your pants Mack Walden to keep it to keep your penis in your pants It's the beautiful yin and yang push and pull. Yeah, it's a personal experience required

It says to talk about I got so you're wearing them. I got the blue. I've been talking about it. I guess I already did So we already did that Um Okay, here we go for 20 off your first order visit mackweld.com slash come town 20 And enter promo code come town 20 Lot of steps folks. There's a lot. So it's come town 20s twice It's mack weld it's in the url and it's the promo code the promo code has come town

If you fuck this up for us, we're going to find you and we're going to fuck you in the ass We're going to fuck you. You cannot fuck this up for us. We're going to fuck you. Yes You're going to get fucked in your ass So if you don't want that here we go fabric explanation for host reference only no need to voice Let me see if I can figure out what this active short thing is I think it just stretches that puts stav into a in a gay sex fugue for the chinese Nice try everyone listening knows who wants to fuck the chinese gymnast

Yeah, the only reason you don't want to fucking this because he's not four years old. That's not sure Why would that be a reason I want to you you want to have sex with a four-year-old But he's the size of a four-year-old is he as a gymnast they have a lot of shock on their joints from tumbling So they're oftentimes, you know five feet tall I would have wondered if that was because nobody ever makes that argument for basketball players People are like, oh, well gym gymnastics made that guy it stunts your growth Interesting, but which is retarded. That's not what basketball. They don't really do intense shit until you get like to be like No, but I'm saying nobody's like well that guy's seven feet tall because you played basketball and shooting the ball stretched them out

That's true. Well, I think the reason gymnasts are fucking tiny at the elite levels is because they have better like leverages That's yeah, that's the body that makes sense It's the one that makes sense. It's like the one the people that did gymnastics that fucking Grew to be like six three had to just stop doing gymnastics. Yeah, they just became flexible Yeah, they just became people that when they fuck you put their legs over that girl Simone is like Five, you know, yeah, that's why you literally can do that. It's eldest I can do it. He's just doing that to women Yeah, then they eat his ass like that

Why didn't you come eat my ass? Why didn't you eat my ass? Oh, fuck Damn, I'm I'm thinking about little croissant the chocolate croissant from Myrtle and Marcy the best chocolate croissant in the neighborhood Where's that Myrtle and Marcy? Don't tell him. Don't tell him where that coffee shop that's named after where it is Adam's not allowed to have Yes, you do. I have to go. I have to go do my sport. Oh, yeah, you're gonna go surf after this I gotta go do my sport because I'm actually devoted to athletics

I bet you suck dick at surfing. Yeah, I'm pretty bad Where are you going surfing rock wise? Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't know there was even waves. They got five footers. They got waves. They had a storm yesterday Oh, yeah, the storm was scary I wish I had a fucking bow, dude. I'll go out on me already The bow would be nice. The stu gotts. Mm-hmm La bella stu gotts. Go fishing That'd be nice. It would be

I'm gonna suck on sucking safari. I'm going suckin suckin. Okay, there's a far Barbara Suck my car Fuck me in my ass and fuck me in my go go go go. Sorry Excuse me After you She wasn't sucking in a fucking sucking in a fucking suck my dick dick dick, you know something I just ended at a bar brand bar brand

All right, suck suck suck. You just put me on the spot like that. Oh, did I? Yeah, you did you did that after you did not It's called ISO. Yeah, we ran an ISO play for you, Adam Well, I should have waved you guys out You know at the top of the key. I should have told you guys get out of the way That's not always how it happens. All right, you got to fucking take your chance and you've got to grab it by the fucking balls All right, that's the next next chance I get I'm I'm sure to grab it by the balls folks I'm fucking

Who fucking told you where dick don't get hard who fucking told you that? It was nothing tea. I didn't even say nothing. Yeah tea the pills that make you dick. I shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up. I just gets my fucking dick. I'm just saying I want you to get so fucking mad about I have to get mad. I just want you dick to get hard Chris is taking fucking pills to make his fucking penis hard now. It's a fucking disgrace It's my fucking nephew. I've seen this penis. I saw his penis when he was a baby I saw his penis when he's a fucking baby and I gotta think about this fucking shit I gotta think about his fucking penis getting hard. Oh, you're right. You don't have to think about it. I mean, you're right

Oh, I mean, you know, you're right. I'm sorry I'm sorry my fucking nephew. We should take him pills now to get his penis on Tony, how is that any of your business? The fuck is the matter with you? I don't want you. I saw pictures of his penis on the internet God damn, I love this. I just finished. I just finished my rewatch I missed my friends already. You know what I'm listening to. I'm listening to talking sopranos now Oh, how far are you into it? They do one episode each each episode each week. Wow. I'm only four in

That's a pretty big project. Yeah Yeah, respect to them. I love imperialism. Sharifa's funny too. For the parts that I've heard it's funny that Sharifa is like kind of loud and obnoxious. Well, Sharifa just like in real in in the show. He's like kind of shy It's a total flip. Absolutely. Well, Sharifa always just wants to talk about the like clear plot points and anytime imperialism is like Trying to talk about like symbolism or anything. It's like, wow. Yeah, I didn't even think about that He's just like it's clear a lot of the guys on the show had no idea. Well, they had on the one I listened to they had on Guy played Jackie April

Before he died and he's clearly like a good act, but he's just like such a fucking Italian Just purely an Italian Fucking he called he said he pronounced Amish Amish Like that's the next level Italian The fucking Amish guy the fuck are you doing? I'm in a podcast Oh, I mean, it's just me and another guy I didn't think you'd be mad about I'm trying to do I'm trying to get my I'm trying to start a patreon

I'll kick up I'll kick up every every week. Don't Well, uh, just figured this should be more wlc voices Cuz we're saying we gotta have more fucking WOC's That the mafia is not diverse enough I'm just saying maybe a trans woman of color Is there maybe a 20 year old that's been doing mafia for six months that we could give a job? Maybe she should be the boss

Maybe she should be the fucking boss What are your fucking mind Maybe somebody's done about six mafia open mics could you know have her own show Oh, and she went to Princeton She's a fucking genius Oh, fuck isn't the whole idea of smashing these hierarchical institutions that we then immediately embrace things like Princeton It doesn't make any fucking sense what the fuck are you talking about? We're trying to steal batteries

Not fucking do the do the French Revolution Goddamn Oh, I miss my friend Tony already Yeah, all right. Well, I have to piss so well, that's gonna do first listen come dot town to buy shirts everybody if you want to check it out We have the same designs that were up before And you guys can end the episode while I go piss I myself have started don't forget to hit the button Which one the red one? Yeah, I started selling some shirts go to stabby.biz. I have a dream to imagine a shirt I have a can I see your penis shirt in the style of creed?

Wow, uh, I'm tired of nick making all of the money off shirts. Yeah. Well, then I I've also got a couple shirts on the way So fucking copier. No, I know that's that's my job, right? Go to stabby.biz buy some t-shirts. They're cute. They look awesome Um, definitely go check those out. Check out Nick shirts as well. Um, nothing else to report. Sovereign doing your twitch on friday Yeah, stabby saw some problems. Joe list this friday. Okay, we can you can ask him a lot of pointed questions Yes, about some some atrocities that he's committed. All right. Bye