The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 230 – Oooh Give Me Pussy

Episode Date: October 20, 2020

shut up man

And it's a photo start. We're getting started as quickly as possible. We started, and Adam is still in the living room. Adam's in the living room. And his dick is small. And he's trying to find his penis, and he can't find it. And he can't find it. And he's picked up a chunk. Chicking up speed now is he doesn't even have a penis.

No, the thimble. The thimble. The thimble is coming up on the left. It's the thimble monopoly piece, and he's saying, Is this my penis? Hello, everyone. It's me, Adam Friedland. This is my normal speaking revolution. Oh, we started recording? Hold on.

Hold on. Let me put on my radio voice. And I'm ready. Hey, guys. Welcome to Come Town. Oh, Adam. We'll cut out the first part. We'll cut out the first part. Everyone heard your regular speaking. Your regular voice.

We'll fix that. Your really cool voice is definitely not like an affect British guy, which is what you actually are. That's right. Just kidding. That's a joke. My second act. As everyone who listens knows, we're actually best friends. We would never reveal a secret like that.

I don't like that. That Adam is actually a three foot eleven British man. I am the turtle-dove guy. He's a manx. He's a manx-ish. Manx? Manx-ish. What are they fucking people?

Manx-ish? Like a mank, like someone from Manchester? People from the Isle of Man. Oh. You know what that is? They're manks. That's like, isn't that a place where people launder money? It's what I do there. I think it's a banking hit.

When I go there, I ride my motorcycle around and I wash all my money off. That's right. I love washing my money. I went there and I was very upset when I got there. Because you thought there would be no pussy? I thought there would be all. There would be chick-cock. Yeah.

I was saying before the show started that, and I get this, this is a vibe check, a vibe, if you get this. Let's do a quick vibe. Joe Anne Fabrics. The Joe Anne of Joe Anne Fabrics. I get the sense that she sucks her dick only on your birthday once a year, but it's mind-blowing. Yes. Yeah.

She's rocking your shit, bro. She's just going to town, but it's just that once a year, and then she like, clasps her dumb jewelry back on. She's got a jewelry box for sure. Got a jewelry box. Absolutely. And then she drives her. She's got a little haircut.

She's got big, fat titties that have only gotten larger with age. They're so big she can literally steer. And she drives her. Not that big. Her SL 500 to a charity. Yeah. A charity dinner. But you can tell, dude.

Yeah, some old Italian guy with transitional lenses has given a speech touching her lower back. Normally that would bother you, but you just, you didn't usually, you look over and you know, you just busted the fattest load that you had. It doesn't even matter. You know, in her 20 years. In her stomach, intertwined. And here I am, just some kept man, usually a cuck living off my wife's fabric money.

That's right. But not today. She doesn't view you. She thought I was an airline pilot. That's right. A doorman. He's just same uniform. I smashed once because she thought I was an airline pilot for six months, but I was

just the doorman of her building. Oh, funny, Nick. I keep bumping into you when I'm leaving. At the lobby. Like opening. Yeah. No, I'm always coming to go and you know, I'm fine in places. Yeah.

I was just in Mumbai. I just, I was, I left the, I left the Antarctica and I just came back here to pick up some things. I left my lunch. I headed back to the airport now. You might give me some of that pussy I keep hearing about. Joanne. Joanne. It's not too much trouble.

Young Joanne. Young Joanne, just working at a fabric store. You just, yeah. So you make, you make stuff like bitch clothes or something. Yeah. So one day I'm going to have my own fabric empire. Well, do you suck dick every single day. Every day until I'm rich.

And then, but then she found out you're not an airline pilot. You're just some fucking asshole. Yep. Opening clothes in the door. And getting pussy from her in the broom closet. Yeah. But you know how to lay pipe and that was, that's what, that's what you're saving grace. That's what got your foot in the door.

And now you're Mr. Joanne fabric. I would love to be. Yeah. I was, I was saying, I was all saying that there was a lady that I worked with in college. She was like the secretary of the University of Maryland Baltimore County graduate school. Let's go ahead and just give her full name while we're at it. Her name is Aaron. But the thing is she had a big, I used to beat off in the bathroom of that job.

I just remember that show you put on at UMBC where they still had like a, like a set up from some like musical or something. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I, oh fuck, I didn't even realize that the bar was called Fat Tuesdays because it was a New Orleans themed bar. And that stayed in your head.

And that stayed in my head. Wow. Wow. Just like my years of getting my dick sucked by Joanne while she drives around her SL 500. And I'm in the passenger seat and she's sucking my dick while she's doing 80. Yep. On the, on the, on the, right next to the Biscayne, you know, it's 1983. Yes, sir.

And I'm fucking, I'm just getting my dick sucked. The cocaine, the fabric money cocaine is coming and going. I'm like, this Reagan guy's bad news. She's like, who cares? We're rich. Shut up. I guess I'll just go numb. I guess we'll just, we'll just call this a numb decade.

We'll just write it all off. And that's what we're living in right now. Whether you feel it or not, basically you're getting your dick sucked by Joanne from Joanne's fabric. You think all these things are happening? No, it's still the 80s when she sucks. Oh, in the 80s she sucked daily. Yeah.

But now I'm talking about the present day and Joanne's fabrics has turned into an allegory. Yeah. Sort of a, a, a story for modern times. Yeah. You know, because who the fuck knows what Joanne's fabric says? So true. Who the fuck is Joanne? Does it matter?

It doesn't. You just, you go through there and you feel. She's a concept. She's not a girl that sucks your dick anymore. The textures and it's all just, you know, broken promises, you know what I mean? So fucking true. But what were the promises even to begin with? You were the liar.

You were never an airline pilot. You weren't a pilot. You worked the door. Yeah. But you thought you were entitled to the benefits. And now it's just another write off. It's, it's, it's top down though, McCain from the top. Mm hmm.

You know what I mean? So absolutely. 100%. I am absolutely following. Real. But disengaged. Yeah. That is not.

What does it even mean to get pussy from? I don't know. I don't know. I just. I eat too much deli meat. Now I'm having trouble thinking. Yeah. We got deli sandwiches.

No. Back to the deli and God. I wouldn't say we got deli sandwiches. And say, you said, you were like, we have to try this place. No. I know this place. We have to try. My friend.

I tried a pretty good sandwich. My friend, Anas told me about this place. Well, you guys are going to have to listen to the next episode where we discuss the deli sandwich. My friend, Anas and Seaman told me about this place. Dude. Those are not my friends. Yeah.

Adam's friends. Anas and Seaman. And I'm Jacques. Yeah. Well, we've come from Europe to where little girls close and hold hands with Adam and get $40 sandwiches. And we're twins from Germany. And we flank Adam everywhere he goes.

I said the sandwiches were too expensive. Yeah. I already preface. We told us they were too expensive. You said there's an expensive sandwich place. We said the sandwich is decent. Then you're like, but it's very expensive. But when you bid into the sandwich, it was a good sandwich.

When you bid into the sandwich, you said, this is not $20. That was my first reaction. Because you said it so many times. You fucking. Because a sandwich shouldn't be $20. Okay. Some of them can be. The cats' sandwiches should be because they pay those guys well.

That's barely a sandwich. And you get a shit ton of meat. You get two slices of fried bread. I've never been there. It seems overrated. You'd like it. It's a restaurant. Do they have food there?

Yeah. Oh, you'd like it. They have a menu. I wonder if that place is going to survive the pandemic. It's just stop at like a Best Buy. Like, what the hell is this? Where the fuck is the fuck meatloaf? Where's the food?

Do you have? What kind of refrigerator is hello? Hello. Speaking. This is Stavros. Is there ear to the door of the refrigerator? You rip the handle off the refrigerator. You're holding it like a telephone.

Reality check calling. It's the future on the line. They want their clothes back. They were like, yeah, he's going into the diabetic shop. He thought there'd be pudding in the fridge. Did you just rip ass? Maybe about five minutes ago. It just got over here, dude.

It's like a poison. Now you understand my little speech about the past and the future. I've forgotten your speech. I got to say I've forgotten your speech. Oh, man. I would like to get my dick sucked by an old lady that was so good at it in the 60s. She's just got a little twinkle in her eye. Oh, my God.

She knows that she sucks. I think it had from a very 65-year-old. There was a girl I knew. We went to Dallas and stayed at her mom's apartment. Oh, yeah, I know her. Her mom lived in a nice... She was a single woman who was older, I guess. She stayed alone in this very curated, nice apartment.

That girl was telling me, like, I guess there was a lube like we needed, but the point is she had to get a lube and she knew where to get it in her mom's room because she walked in on her elderly mother getting like fucked in the ass. Yeah, right. And yeah, she... That rocks. Yeah, she fucking... but her mom was like very much one of those like pearls.

Maybe I just put it together that way because we were in Dallas and I was thinking of the show Dallas, but I imagined her very much as like a dick-sucking, little like Mercedes Roadster. Yeah, a little Mercedes Roadster driving, Ursula haircut, cock-sucking grandma. Cock-sucking dramatic Texas grandma. Yeah, her blonde costume.

Me and the girls are going out for drinks, like. Yeah, the girl from the Rock Rose. Wasn't that her name from... Why am I blanking? On the old bitch show, Golden Girls. Yeah, I was thinking of Fat Bitch from Titanic, Kathy Bates from Titanic. No, I don't want that.

But she's in that Jean... She's in that Jean Roy. The Jean Roy of Pussy. Yeah. Yeah, I would absolutely get a fucking dick-sucking from a lady like that. Have her take off her long costume jewelry clip-on earrings before she gucks you off? No, I want the dangling.

What do you mean taking off her earrings, Adam? She takes them off. That's like her... You out of your goddamn mind. That's her sign that she's ready to... Are you out of your goddamn mind? She's ready to guck. No, the jewelry stays on. The jewelry stays on.

I'm out of the jewelry. I want opulence when I get my dick sucked. I want it to be a fucking hole. I'm talking about a businesswoman. This is somebody you're like cheating on your wife with, but it's not even a lateral move. Definitely negative. This is...

Yeah, somebody in the office... You're doing it for the thrill. You're both... Look, we both need to be cheating for starters because that's a power move. Totally. It's cool. 1983, we're lawyers because no one was in finance at the time.

Yeah. But I was a lawyer. They were like, sorry, no stocks yet. Yeah, no stocks. The only thing you can be is a trial attorney. That's... That was power back then. Yes.

And you cheat with Joanne from Joanne's... Joanne from Joanne's fabric. She's got... Who works at the lawyer place? She's a lawyer. She's a lawyer. That's where she got her fabric. She sued...

She sued a Haynes company. Her business card said Joanne fabrics. Suing? No. Selling. Yes. She's like, what is this? What do you mean?

She's like, I'm a lawyer, but also I own this company. So wait, but yes suing then, I guess? And they're like, she's like, shut up. She's like, that's just... Shut the fuck up. Just shut up. Do you want your stocks? They're not.

Just put your cock in my mouth. And fuck up my $800 haircut. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah. Which is the height of fashion. Right. It's just like a coosh ball.

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Coosh ball. I had to go see a gay guy to do this to me. Yeah, you did. But why'd you stop the bid to tell us what happened to you, Adam? No, that's what the lady did. You had to go see a gay guy.

That's what Joanne fabrics. Everyone at home. Adam said, I had to just go see a gay guy to do this to me. And then he held open his asshole for me and Nick to look at. And it was completely blown around. And Porky the pig stuck his head out. Yeah, but he had... Adam's gay, folks.

There's a lot more in here, folks. There is coming here, folks. What the fuck was Porky the pig doing in that hole anyway? Yeah. What was the end with their like... And how about at the end of the cartoon, a pig comes out of an asshole? That's all, folks. Yeah, dude.

It was kind of like a target thing. That sounds pretty loony to me. It is quite loony. Yeah. It's so funny that that was like, you know, during the war effort, they're like, well, we needed all kinds of racists. Some of them will go to the war to kill. And others will stay home to teach children about the Japanese.

And how treacherous they are. Yeah. And that's where cartoons came from. That's true. Is indoctrinating the children. Very true. To invaginate them. Tell them about Pussy.

What would you guys say, Adam? I just wonder if that they hurt Hitler's feelings. Felix saw the cartoons and he was like, that's pretty jacked up, man. Yeah, because they had... There's a line for me, you know, and this crosses it. I'm like kind of like a... I'm kind of an edgy guy, but like this actually kind of crosses it. You know, I've never read Mein Kampf, but I read something that had like quotations from

Mein Kampf in it. Bad book? Good book. It's like atrocious writing. Yeah. I mean, it's extremely gay. Yeah. I mean, it writes like a fucking...

It's flowery? Well, it's like a nerd kind of like, you know... Let me see if I can find... I guess I never thought about it. It was called My Struggle, so he's all about himself. So he's like a little emo prima donna. I think he was in prison when he wrote it. He was feeling bad for himself.

Hitler went to prison? Yeah. Before? Yeah. For what? I think so. For the push. Push?

What do you mean? Wasn't there the first one where he tried to take over the government? Yeah, he tried to do a fascist stuff. Really? Yeah, yeah. And he flopped and then he still got a second shot? And he kept grinding. That's good to show you, man.

Don't give up on your dreams. Yeah, that's like a be a good meme. Let me see if I can... I'm trying to find like a... What is it? Didn't he get his ass fucked up in World War I, too? Yeah, he lost his dick or whatever. I mean, look at Mein Kampf on Goodreads.

I'm gonna say don't do that. Yeah, he was one of those guys that had the helmet with like a spike on top of it. The Kaiser? Like the... Yeah, so you can buy it for 99 cents on Barnes & Noble. 99 cents too much. But yeah, I want to call up Barnes & Noble customer service and be like, I was wondering if you had any used copies that I could perhaps get for maybe 50 cents?

45 cents. 49 cents. Yes, I noticed you have it available for a dollar, which, you know, for something that should frankly be public domain, I think that's a bit too much. That would be the final victory over Hitler. To do an anti-Semitic prank call through a book store. No, no, no, for an actual Jewish guy to talk him down, talk over. Yeah, that's how we get less.

So the way we're gonna defeat Hitler is by being racist against Jews. To buy his book. And harassing a bookstore. No, if that was a real guy, that would be him beating Hitler. Well, you should talk that out. I don't know, he'd be beating the, you know, taking up the time of the customer service department of Barnes & Noble's, really. But if he succeeded to get Hitler's book for free.

I think, are the Hitler family getting royal too? I think so. Yeah. Probably not off the used books. Okay, fine. It's more of a symbolic victory. You know his nephew fought for, was in the U.S. Navy? Really?

His nephew, literally his name was Billy Hitler. No, I'm now a crowd. That's a mistake. Billy Hitler. Well, he didn't have any kids. Mine comes quotes on Goodreads. Nice. What?

That exists. Yeah. It's a famous book. Okay. What are some of them, I guess? I guess we'll do that. These are all the famous ones. Well, give me some, let's get some deep cuts.

Instruction and world history in the so-called high schools is even today in a very sorry condition. A few teachers understand that the study of history can never be to learn historical dates and events by heart and recite them by rote. What matters is not whether the child knows exactly when this battle or that was fought, when a general was born, or even when a monarch, usually a very insignificant one, came into the crown of his forefathers. No, by the living God, this is very unimportant, to learn history. Bitch.

By the living God, how about you livingly suck my... By the living God, but also usually a very insignificant one. It's that fucking Homer Simpson, oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. Yeah. You know what, fuck Hitler. Thank you. Fuck him for that, for just the way he writes. I don't know about that.

For nothing else, necessarily. The jury's still out on all the other stuff, but his writing style, fuck him. Yeah, well, I feel like if Hitler had been Obama, people would have liked him. It's because he was kind of like an autistic kind of fag that people don't... Right. That's why history judges him so harshly. That's your problem, Hitler. Yeah, he was a cool black guy.

I mean, honestly, yeah, dude. Imagine if Hitler had been Barry White. Yeah. Well, the jury got instruction, and world history is a so-called high school, like you do it that way. Yeah, that would be cooler. That would make a lot of sense. Imagine if Hitler was Barry White. Yeah, that's true.

Well, that's kind of what drove him nuts, because he's a fucking loser, and then he's in World War I where he gets to be in the army in some circumstances. He's the what-no pussy does to an MF or a meme, come to life. Well, I don't know if it's that. I mean, yeah, I guess he's Hitler. He got his genitals fucked up in a trench looking some bombs. Did he get gangrene on his nuts? I don't know.

That wouldn't be fucking... I don't know if that... His dick and balls were chewed off by baby alligators in Louisiana. What he was visiting is... He's called Billy Hitler. Billy Hitler. Ouch! These alligators are biting my nutsack.

Something like that. Yeah, they go... Something like that. That hurts when they bite my nuts. You know what's great is on Goodreads, if you go to quotes from Hitler? Half of these are in Arabic. Like, I swear to God, half of them are just in Arabic. Oh, shit.

Like in Arabic people. Interesting, certain ideas of Hitler is resonating. I wonder. It's probably more stuff about the school system. I guess Netanyahu does have a point. The scream of the 12-inch shrapnel is more penetrating than the hiss from a thousand Jewish newspaper vipers. Therefore, let them go on with their hissing.

Damn. That's kind of fucked up, honestly. Yeah, that's what I mean. He's a very like... The vipers. He's an ineffective kind of cringe writer. Hissing. Yeah.

It's not... Can I say something? He sounded like he was hissing. I know that fewer people are won over by the written word than by... I mean, it's not necessarily malady. I'm struggling the land on the right thing here. But it is very much like... You're looking on maybe Reddit or something for how to do something.

Yes. And you come across a subreddit. Four paragraphs. Where there's just a guy that's just fucking really making you... Hiddler would have loved Mythbusters. Hiddler would have fucking loved that show. Yeah, he's a TLDR guy. He would have loved Bullshit with Penn and Teller.

Oh my God. He would have loved Penn and Teller. Yeah. Absolutely. This is the one who doesn't speak. The other one, he's always speaking. I find this very amusing. There are certain truths which stands out so openly on the road sides of life as it were,

but it's not as it were. Yeah, why did you say as it were, you fucking bitch? Well, so he's like... This is like a well-worn established metaphor. Meanwhile, I think this motherfucker invented highways. There weren't road sides prior to... You know, I mean, there were highways, but the fucking auto... Did he make the autobahn?

Yeah. That was Hiddler. Yeah. There are certain truths which stands out so openly on the road sides of life as it were that every passer-by may see them. Yet because of their obviousness, the general run of people disregards such truths or at least they do not make them the object of any conscious knowledge. People are...

Shut up. It's bad. You suck, dude. How badly do you have to fuck up to write it like an anti-Semitic manifesto and make it boring? Yes. Come on, man. Well, I'll tell you, now I'm glad I never read Mein Kampf because that would have really soured

my opinion on the guy. I've been a pretty open mind to this point. You know, I mean, I had heard that it was chalked up there right up with DeLuo and, you know, fucking McCarthy, the masters. The masters. I don't know. Who else? Faulkner?

Mario Puzo. It would be funny if... Mario Puzo. A really good writer. Hitler wrote like Faulkner. Godfather, dude. It would be funny if Hitler wrote like Faulkner. Yeah, I don't remember the one book of his I read in high school anymore because I'm

stupid. Azalea Dying, probably. That was a good one. Mm-hmm. That was a good book I remember thinking at the time. You know what? I had a teacher that had that, the Joanne Fabric's hair cut, but she definitely didn't suck dick good.

Mm-hmm. She was too old and I never could see it. She had, like, sort of bugged eyes and... Mm-hmm. Didn't seem like somebody had sucked a nice cock, I'll tell you that much. I'm sorry. I missed the first part. This is someone that had Diane Fabric vibes but didn't suck it.

No, no. It's just the hair cut. Yeah. Oh, just the hair cut. But everything about her, no. Well, you know what? Well, you know what? If that were a problem, you could always just take a blue chew.

That's so true. To get your penis hard, to get your dick sucked off by that woman. That's absolutely true. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your experience of blue chew stuff? Well, I don't know. First of all, this is the first ever male enhancement format that's blue. Absolutely. It's blue and kilt-ish.

But you can chew and then it's candy. It's the first chewable format pill candy. It's candy for your penis. It's candy and your dick gets hard. It's candy for your penis. And personally, I kind of got to it from the candy itself. The doctors are calling it a miracle, and you, gay, if you don't take it. You're actually gay.

The doctors... Well, the doctors are in. The doctors just came in, folks. The doctors are in, and the answer is blue chew. A pill? No. Yes, actually. Well, it's candy.

It's candy. And it's a pill. It's a pill, sort of. And four out of five recommend that you taste it with your mouth and eat it for your penis. Get your penis hard and fuck a man in the ass. You can also take it rectally. You cannot. You cannot do that.

Functions as is impossible. You can put... You can take one and get your dick hard enough. Yeah, you scroll down far enough, and it's all Arabic on the Goodreads for Hitler. Wow. Yeah, well, I don't know about you guys, but I love getting my dick hard. And not a lot of stuff does it for me anymore. I'm looking at breasts, maybe, but what if I'm just alone, and there's no breasts to

look at, and I want my dick to get hard? You're trying to imagine breasts pulling your soft penis. I'm pulling it. I'm tugging at my soft penis, hoping that my dick gets hard. It never does. Then I pop a blue chew, and two to seven hours later, my dick is hard as fuck. But it lasts for a while. Or even faster.

For some people. Yeah. Yeah. I think the fatter you are, the longer it takes. That's my guess. Oh. It's got a... Your blood is thick.

It's got to work its way through your thick blood. Exactly. Exactly. Through your gravy-like blood. That's who I wouldn't say gravy-like. But yeah, thicker. I would say thicker than normal. Mm-hmm.

And anyway, folks, let me tell you, I take this, I chew this fucking thing, and when it's time to get my penis sucked, it is so hard that it hurts my dick sometimes. That's how hard it gets. Sometimes people are forcefully sucking at it. They're no Joanne fabric. They don't have the style and pen... I have to say, though one girl I fucked recently did suck dick very well, but some of them haven't.

Mm-hmm. And it hurts my dick because it's so hard, there's no room for error. Right. You know. But blue chew really papers over those cracks. Well, now, when we're talking about penetration though, that's when you want an excessively hard dick. And in the past, it has taken me...

Sometimes I've had to stop and get my dick sucked four times before the erection finally took... Settles. ...until it finally settled, exactly. But with blue chew, all the dick sucking is ceremonial, and the pussy fucking, now that's where the business is at. It's ceremonial. It's ceremonial.

Oh, it's not like necessary. It's not necessarily like it used to be. Yeah. So you have a dick sucked ceremonial. It used to really be. Now it's more for the... The police doves. Well, it's, you know, it is a celebration.

It is ceremonial. Eating pussy, getting your dick sucked. It's a token of wanting to do something for you by the woman. Yeah. Whereas in the past, it was an absolute... It's like, you know, the check engine light is on, it's steaming up, we have to pull over, up suck the dick so we can get home. That's kind of what...

You're a... ...foolish. You're doing... It used to be. Whereas now, it's like a beautiful hood ornament on the pussy, on getting pussy. Yes. And Bluetooth, that you can do that too, my friends, with... They got Viagra knock-offs or...

Sudalafil. Sudalafil. Sudalafil. Sudalafil. See, that's the Allison Viagra. I remember Papa Smurf got to lick your ass. Such a good one. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, lick my ass, bitch. Papa Smurf got to lick your ass, lick, lick, lick my ass, bitch. And like the Smurfs, Bluetooth is blue. It's blue, that's what I was thinking about. And so, you can get that shit, you don't have to go to a doctor, like some kind of fucking bitch. Mm-hmm. You go to the internet, you lie and say whatever the fuck they ask you to, so they give you

dick pills. You tell them by your real experience. And you just ignore whatever they ask, and guess what you think, what kind of health you should be in to get dick pills, and you say that, and then they mail you the dick pills right to your fucking door. You have your resting heart rate. You, yes, you ask your friend that weighs a hundred pounds less than you, what his resting heart rate is, and that's what you put in the form.

And they will mail you dick pills, you'll get heart of shit, and you just dial up fucking Bluetooth. Not 1-900. 1-800-blue.pussy. Not 2. Bluetooth. Blue KKK. No, that's not it.

Bluetooth was taken, so they got blue KKK. That's not what it is. 1-855. That's bluetooth.com. KKK. F-A-G-G. No, why would that be 1-855? L-I-C-K.

Okay. Do you call them up? It's not that. It isn't that. Just punch those numbers, folks. Just get punchin'. I don't think that would even do anything. You call them up, you're like, is there any way it could be 50 cents?

Don't haggle. Because the thing is, you don't need to haggle, because our listeners... Because it's completely free. It's not free, but we do have some kind of deal, which is, I think, first-order free. You get some... You get your first-order free, or it's 20% off, or there's free shipping. I'm gonna say the first one's free, if I remember correctly. I think there's like an introductory...

You get one whole fucking thing of dick pills free. Get your dick heart of shit. Go to bluetooth.com. ComeTown slash Viagra. That's cometown slash Viagra.pussygetting.org. You know what I should do is just have the links, the promo links, on... The description? On...

I can just send them to cometown.com slash the sponsor, and then it'll send them there. That's good. Oh, like... Because that way I don't have to remember anything. That way we don't have to remember anything. But it'll save the code and... But for the time, man... I'm like, fuck it.

I'm just so out of it. We could just print that. I was looking for the copy, and I'm searching Google Maps. Like, what the fuck is in Bluetooth coming up? What the fuck is this? Boston? What? This doesn't make any damn sense.

Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be funny when I'm like 80 years old, and I'm like, what's today? February? I got nothing in my... Oh yeah, my brain is completely... Completely shocked. It's already just like filled with plaque. Yeah.

That's crazy that your brain gets fucked up in the same way as your teeth. Wait, really? Is that what happens to your brain? I don't know. They say something about plaques. Plaque gets in your brain? Can you clean it? Can you brush it?

How about on your body, a plaque is bad. But in a business, a plaque is good. That means you're the best employee of the month. That's true. This is what happens to a comedian when you take them away from their audience. That's right. It's so funny to imagine all those club guys just in their house being like, what the hell is this over here, the bathroom?

Hey, what do you do for a living? You're a fork? What do you do? Put food in my mouth? What are you a fucking... What are you a fucking Arab fork? Whoa, somebody wants to eat dinner, huh? This dog's been dead for three weeks.

Yeah, you and me both, pal. So anyway, go to bluetooth.com. Here we go. Okay, nice. Bullet points, make it your own and have fun. If you like sex, if you like sex, go to bluetooth.com. If you like sex, you'll love getting pussy. If you love having pussy, I can't wait to have pussy.

I would like some pussy, please. What do you say we go back to my place and make pussy? We make some pussy. Why don't we make pussy? Why don't we get pussy meant to be made? What do you say we come back to my place and make pussy? Make some pussy. Do you mean have sex?

Shut up. My penis. I'm smooth. I don't have anything. I don't have a penis. I was just going to bite at you. I was going to make biting motions at you while swinging you around my apartment. Do you say we come over and have some PG-13 pussy?

For some pussy genital 13. Visit bluetooth.com and get your first order free when you use promo code COMETOWN. Just pay $5 shipping that's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com promo code COMETOWN. That's an idea starters. Please use your own language and talk about your own experience. Oh, my own language. Okay. Is that the language you're working on?

It's a new one. Me and James Cameron are working on it. Really? No. It's a completely different movie about there's a world and it's made out of water, but the water's an alien. The whole water is? Yeah.

There's one guy with gills, but he's an alien, and Dennis Hopper's in it, and he's part of the bad guys. Oh, you still talking about water world? No. It's a completely different movie. I forgot Dennis Hopper. Oh, yeah. There's that fake Robin Williams in that one too.

Welcome to the world of water. What's up with that fake Robin Williams guy? You guys know what I'm talking about? I don't know. All I remember is at the very beginning of that movie, he drinks his own piss. We're fake Robin Williams. Isn't there a guy that's like fake Robin Williams in water world? He's doing like bits?

He just kind of looks like him. Ooh. On the water? My dick's small. Let me let's look up the cast here. Dennis Hopper. Kevin Costner. I'm not seeing anybody that looks like.

No, there is dude. There's a guy that looks sort of like Robin Williams. Like if you look, if you search water world, Robin Williams, it comes up. So you've done this before? No, I just looked it up. What's his name? I don't fucking know. I just feel like I watched it.

And the guy looked like Robin Williams. You just watched it? No, look at this guy. Doesn't he sort of look like Robin Williams? Adam, what's his name? I don't know that guy's name, but I remember that guy's face. Thank you. What guy?

Can I see him? I don't think he looks like Robin Williams. I don't think he looks like Robin Williams. I guess he does, dude. You hold a close shot. I don't mind. I guess he does. This guy, he looks kind of like fake Robin Williams.

I have no idea who that is. I don't even know his face. He's in water world, bro. Ooh. Ooh, I'm gay. Ooh. Is this water coming out of a man's ass? It's water, but it comes out of your penis.

They call it pee, but we put it in a little machine. Ooh, is it a magic lamp? Can I live in there? Can you piss in my mouth? Maybe I can, maybe you can piss in me. That's my ass. Or you can piss in my ass and I'll throw it up and you can eat the vomit. What the hell is this guy talking about, man?

This stuff sounds gay, man. That sounds fucking gay to me, man. Everybody's turned into a piss drinking freak just because the fucking world is made out of water. How about instead of drinking piss, you come over here and suck my fucking cock? There's some, there's some wiki quotes that is hovering in water world. You don't be great instead of water if the entire world is made out of pussy. Wow, that's a good one.

Baby want pussy. Wow, that's what we thought of baby want pussy. Imagine how good that would feel. You wake up in the morning, you fall out of your raft, your knee deep in a fucking pussy. I'll smoke to that. I'll smoke to that. I'm the bad guy in the movie because I smoke cigarettes. Like that's the biggest fucking problem now that the entire world is made out of water.

And some people like getting cancer. Wait, the whole world is made out of water? That's the premise. Well, they're trying to find land. There's like a map out of a tattoo of a baby. Do they find it at the end, I'm guessing? There's a tattoo on a baby's penis. Yeah, and it's the map of the land.

You can't see it unless you get the baby's penis hard. You gotta get the baby's penis real hard, man. I'm still trying to figure out who this fucking Robin Williams is. He looks sort of like Robin Williams. He's like a fucking, like a bad guy. Ooh, I look like him. But the difference is I'm Chinese. I'm actually from China.

I'm Chinese, I'm Chinese. Oh, Qing Chong. Ooh, I'm gay. Ooh. Ooh, Qing. Ooh, Chong. They had China had a Robin Williams over there. Yeah, I could.

We have what his name would be. Just to try to say his own name. Yeah. Ooh, I can't even pronounce it. I can't say it. Where the hell did I get my name? The goofy name store? Ah, yes, very funny.

Ah, yes. Very good. Robin Williams is very funny. Ooh, can you imagine if I was in China, I bet it would go a little something like this. Everybody wants to solve the problems between the United States and China. And how do you do it?

By being Chinese. By being Chinese. Ooh, but you can't be Chinese, Robin. Why not? Because your name is too hard to say, brother. Because... Yeah, yeah. One of them just doing stand-up with a wireless microphone.

Like he's Janet Jackson sweating. Sweating profusely. Just going from one side of the stage. And they got little hats and little ponytail hats. And they walk around like they own the place. They're walking around. Here he comes. Here comes Chinese brother man.

Oh, is anything about that? What about the brothers in China? Yeah. They got some of them brothers. How could you tell? If they all look alike, maybe some of them are black. So fucking true, Robin. I love when he does his black sense.

So awesome. Who are the black people in China by Robin Williams? I dreamt of him. It's not a bad bit. Well, he was a master. Yeah, he was one of the best. Oh, that's actually one of his bits. It was on his last official.

He came out in like 2011. I'm about to kill myself. Oh, yeah. This is the last one of these I'm going to do. Yeah. I just found out I got a little disease called Parkinson's. Oh. Oh.

And they said I wasn't supposed to tell anybody my agent did not like the idea. Maybe he's fucking nobody is going to watch a special knowing you're going to die. Maybe he faked his death to go live as a Chinese man. Yeah. No, he's in Jamaica with Bob Marley and Tupac smoking. I think in Argentina. Yeah. It's Argentina with Hitler.

It's him. George Carlin. Bill Hicks. Paul Poundstone. Oh, yeah. Ireland somewhere. Fucking the Mount Rushmore standup all legends. God damn sandwiches coming back up.

It'd be cool if Bill Hicks was around for Trump. You hear his, his things on that. He would be funnier than you. I'm not saying that. Yeah. Whatever he said, it would be funnier than what you came up with. About Trump. Yeah.

I don't do Trump material. Okay. That's your whole act, dude. It's not Trump. Mr. Trump. No, I don't do Trump style comedy. I'm not one of those. You love it.

It'd be nice if Dennis Hopper was still alive so he could get his take on Robin Williams' death. That's true. They were friends, right? Yeah. Probably really close. We worked together on Waterworld. Turns out it was a different guy.

Yeah, Dennis Hopper thought that guy was Robin Williams too. Robin. I'm telling you, there's a weird like fake Robin Williams. He's doing a fucking Robin Williams. I'm still trying to figure out who the fuck you're talking about. He's like, he's like a guy, he's like Robb's them or something or like comes on the boat. He's kind of dressed like Peter Pan even like, it's weird. It makes you feel like it's fucking Robin Williams.

He's like tries to fuck the girls or some shit. He's like a fucked up guy and Kevin Costner beats him up. Honestly, I haven't seen that. I mean, that movie sucked so much dick. I feel like I even might have even watched it at your house. Waterworld? I think so. No, we watched Sicario.

No, we did. Did we? Did we watch Waterworld? Is it this guy? I don't know, maybe. No, it's the guy you're talking about. I mean, maybe it's Kim Coats. It is.

It's Kim Coats. Yes. It's Kim Coats from Sons of Anarchy. Sons of Anarchy because I found the screen. Oh, really? Yeah. It's the screenshot. Oh my God, that is him.

They got the same nose. But he's also doing Robin Williams stuff in the movie. Like he's doing an impression. Kim Coats, fake ass Robin Williams. I bet you he did that a lot in the 90s. He played fake Robin Williams. I mean, Christian Slater's whole thing is so funny. Jack Nicholson.

Well, yeah, he's just been doing an impression of Jack Nicholson, which other people have pointed out, obviously. Yeah, of course. And why are you saying, yeah, of course, because you would have. No, you heard that. That was one of the things I told you that you did not picked up. I probably roasted you in the past for pointing one of Adam's words. So now you're trying to reverse the, yeah, of course.

But yeah, marking on it as a matter of reality rather than discovery of a bit. It is wild that you're allowed to have such a career and be such a fraud. That's how good some guys are. You can just do an impression of them. It's pretty good. Who should I do? Should I be Dom DeLuis? You should be a Jackie Chan.

We should all be Dennis Hopper. I can't do the voice you can. You should be Dennis Hopper. Dennis Hopper rocked. Yeah. I should just steal Jackie Chan's whole thing. You could be Jackie Chan. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my ass?

That's good. Pretty good. You don't say with enough conviction. Rush Hour 3 starring Dennis Hopper and Chinese Robin Williams. There wasn't Rush Hour 3. Rush Hour 4 starring, Rush Hour 4 Tokyo Lisp. That's good. Fast and Furious 8 Tokyo Lisp.

Maybe you need a gay guy. Tokyo Lisp. This time they're gay. Yeah, I don't know if we could use a gay guy, but I guess we'll figure it out. Drifting in little cars into each other's asses. Dom, you know I'm a fucking lesbian, right? Yeah, in real life. Not in the movie.

Not in the movie. You suck my dick in the movie. You suck my dick like Joanne. Just on your birthday. Every other year I'm a lesbian. I can see that. I can see her being like a 90% lesbian, 10% dick on special occasions type. Who, Michelle?

Yeah, for sure. Do you think you could handle having sex with her, Adam? Or would she be too powerful for you? I mean, I think I'd bust, but I'd come out black and blue. That's for damn sure. I'll be coming out bloody. Did you realize they busted inside your eyes? Yes, I did.

I am gay. You know I did. I love Kanye so much. Are you voting for him? No, but I love that he's just trying to fuck up the election. Yeah, he's fucking insane. He's insane and he's beautiful. It's a beautiful mind, beautiful troll.

It is beautiful. I like that he's advocating setting up basically a theocracy. If there was a way to canonize people in the church of trolling, he would be a saint. He would be one of the first. He was he's a great troll. Yeah, because every time he always just pushes people's buttons whenever he has an album coming out. He knows exactly what to do. Yeah, and what he's not even trying to it's effortless with him.

That's just that's exactly when to stop taking the those are his natural movements. Yeah, you're probably right, Adam. He probably I think he's like I got an album out. I'm going to stop taking the pills finish it. He's like I'm going to become the I'm going to become the Hulk declare myself the pope the trolling Hulk. Yeah. And then go go away for a game. Come back.

It's a good cycle. He's on. Did you realize? Did you realize? Your penis was too small to have sex. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Yes, I did.

Yeah, fuck yeah. Did you realize? Your penis was too small to have sex. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Just go with small. I got to figure out first for the fall season of come town. I got to figure out a new voice to do.

I'm tired of Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum had a nice run. It is really nice to use the show as an outlet to figure out a voice and then spend like three months repeating the same jokes. In that voice. Yeah. And being like, well, time to figure out a new guy. Time for a new guy. I guess I only got one episode out of Mr. Feeny.

Maybe two. That's true. Mr. Feeny, she come back, man. Only every once in a while. Yeah, but that has to be a surprise. He can pop back in, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm gay, Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews, show me your penis. Oh, Mr. Shmiro. Mr. Shmiro. Mr. Shmiro. Show me your penis. I was wondering if you wanted to show me a penis later. Mr. Shapiro, stay after class.

He's not British either, huh? No, it was a Boston brahman. That shit's fucked up. So you're telling me in the fucking forties, everyone talk like that? No, only people from Boston. It's one of those. How did they become like the guys to talk like is more, more like I'm gay kid. The working class took over the regional culture of the area.

Because New York had an accent like that. Like FDR had the New York equivalent. I'm gay. The only thing I have to sock is Dick itself. Yeah. That's true. I mean, at a certain point, it's like worse than just saying the N word and laughing at it.

Just being like, who else fucking Robert McNamara? I don't know what he sounds like. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. I sat down with the president and we decided that I'm gay. That's good. I looked at the president.

I'm loving that. Me and the president, we looked at the situation in Cuba and I said to him, Mr. President, in all honesty, I am a gay man. That's good. He said, why are you, why are you telling me this right now? I don't care. The entire world is on the brink of nuclear war and you're telling me now that you are gay.

And I said, yes. Yes. It's never an ideal time to come out of the closet. The S and Robert S McNamara, a lot of people, they think it stands for nothing, but it actually stands for sucking. So fucking true. Yeah, it's weird. That's fucked up.

Do anybody, so nobody though still talks like that, right? There's not like a young person that talks like Mr. Feeney. Yeah. Maybe someone decided to make that their act. I forgot his middle name stands for strange. Strange. Yeah. Yeah.

Because as I always, I remember the ass stood for something retarded. Yeah. And it's strange. Strange. Joe Biden's got a weird middle name too. It's like Teresa or something. That's awesome. He's got a girl's name.

Yeah. It's funny. It's Joe like Claudette Biden. Fuck yeah. Robinette. That's it. Robinette. Yeah.

That rules, dude. What is that? A family name? Probably. Wow. Some people get, make their kids middle name their, the woman's maiden name. Yeah. I've seen that done before.

Yeah. That's fairly common. Yeah. No. His mom's last name is Finnegan. Who the fuck is Robinette? His father's name is also Joseph Robinette Biden. Senior.

Yeah. And there's no, that his father was born in 1512, so there's no record of. They didn't have such good record. Right. Apparently he had a bad stutter and frontline did this special on like the presidents or whatever. And they tried to frame his current like fuck ups as part of the stutter, which it's like that's clearly not from a stutter.

He's been in the public eye for 50 years and he was a very good, like even when he was running when Obama ran the mother, like if you guys seen clips of that motherfucker talking, you're like, oh, he's actually like good at speaking. Well, wasn't he like caught? He was like plagiarizing, but I guess it wasn't fucking always. He would do a gap, but the motherfucker could talk. He did. Yeah.

He was good at like the folksy stuff. It would. It is good. My pop would sit me on his knee like that kind of stuff, but I mean, he could talk. It's not like now the motherfucker can't even fucking them finish a sentence. It sucks that we'll never get to be in World War Two. No, it sucks. It was too sounds awful.

No, I would have loved being in World War Two. You would have liked being in Band of Brothers. That'd have been awesome. No, I'm, I'm, I'm going to Canada. I'm back on the Robert McNamara Wikipedia page. It was in World War Two. Yeah. Everybody was to guess that's true.

Every single fucking guy was in, you would have to go to war and then you'd do something cool. What if you were fat as shit? Then no, you're the cook to stay home and fuck everyone's wives. Yeah, probably. That would have been my, well, that's why nobody, people are like Americans have gotten fatter.

It's like, no, they just fatten back up. That's right. Cause all the fat people stayed here. They got all the pussy. Yeah. They ate it. The dust bowl used to be filled with cereal and then they ate all of it while everyone was at war.

And they're like, what the hell is this? A bunch of dust. Yeah. I know that timeline does. It's kind of the opposite, but that makes it checks out. It makes sense to me. Yeah. The dust came after the grapes of wrath.

I would have gotten out of it. I would have probably just stayed behind. Hello, pennies. Hello, pennies. Dr. Lecter, you know my name is Clarice. Well, what if I called you a pennies? What if I talked about sucking you like you're a giant cock? Wait, I've got a new character.

There we go. Gay. It's about damn time. Hello, pennies. Hello, pennies. What if I undressed you in your giant penis? You had the balls and the foreskin. It's just like fucking like buff firemen and thongs all over his prison cell and posters.

Just hot guys. Yeah. Just a Zac Efron poster. Hello, Clarice. Hello, pennies. Yeah. Yeah. Dr. Lecter is down here because he would kiss his victims on the lips.

He's the craziest. He kissed them and sucked their dicks. Dr. Lecter, we can use his expertise. Don't shy away from using the man just because he was a homo. So he's in jail for being gay to be clear. It's funny because he didn't even kill them. Yeah. When he tried to kiss them.

Yeah. He's in jail for being gay. He's in a sanitary for the criminally insane. This is the gayest man I've ever seen. One of the most criminally insane people I've ever seen criminal. You know, they were going to cast Michael Richards. Is that role originally? That's not true.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hello, pennies. Jerry. That's more of a way night. You got did you more Wayne night? But I'm doing the thing.

I'm seeing Wayne night. I'm seeing Newman. I'm seeing too. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing.

I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm seeing to. I'm doing. You guys at home can't see I'm doing a flawless body impression of Kramer's body language. I'm gay.

There's someone was I was going to look up and I forgot it. Oh, I'm gay. Do we have any more answer now? Oh yeah. What time is it? I think we're. Oh, then yes. In that case, you go gamble.

In that case, folks, folks, you want to take your money and you want to gamble and you want to go gamble? You want to gamble? Is that what you want to do? You want to gamble? Oh fuck. Nick, just let out another one. Yeah.

And it's going to be bad because I've been living off protein powder for the last couple of days because I refused to buy groceries. It will flavor. Well, you're not going to pick up on that at this point. That has been through a part of my body. I'd like to refer to as the wasteland. What? But what flavor of curiosity?

Vanilla casein. Nice. Yeah. Vanilla case. Yeah. Vanilla case. Hell yeah. Now we're talking.

The fact I start making protein powder flavors. Yeah. Tacos. Damn. It's that fucking time of year, folks. Antonio Brown is on the Raiders. Odell Beckham Jr. is on the Cleveland Browns. Damn.

I got a good search history going on here. Porky the pig. Mine comp in English. Mine comp quotes. Craigslist NYC. Waterworld. Dennis Hopper. Waterworld.

Robin Williams. Kim Coates and Kurt Sutter. Nice. Who's Kurt Sutter again? Kurt Sutter's the guy that created Sons of Anarchy. That's right. That's right. He's married to Peg Bundy.

He's been real life. He used to have a video podcast called like what the fuck. It was called like WTF at the height of like Mark Maren Singh being popular and I don't think he was even aware that Mike was there. That's awesome. Is he like, what's his deal? He's like a real biker guy. I'm not sure.

That writes TV. No. I think he's like, he's similar to that pizza lotto guy where he's like good at his job. But then they talk and like, because I remember liking, I watched the first four episodes of true detective. I was like, oh, this is a good show. And then I saw some interview with him. Oh yeah.

I think that's what I am. Yeah. He was like personality ruined it for me. Yeah. Oh yeah. The first one is good. The first season. But that's what makes somebody like good at fiction or drama is that they like could get,

what the fuck is that? Did you hear that? My front door probably. Oh, that like resonated my head weird way. I thought it was like an elephant. Oh, it's just a squeaky door. Yeah. It did sound crazy.

Anyways, my bookie.ag is a fucking website. You can go. You can go and you can fucking get where everybody knows your name. Where everybody sees you there, where everybody sucks you off. You can place bets. You can do live in game wager. You can, unless they guarantee that you'll win every bet. Yeah.

I mean, you know what? We're going to go ahead right right here and go to copy. We're going to go to copy. Folks hang by for a second. Definitely don't fast forward as we go to copy on this advertisement. Do not fast forward. If you fast forward, I'll fuck you. Fuck your ass.

I'll fuck you in the ass. I will find you and I will put my thumbs in your ass. We're going to bust aside your ass. I'm going to tickle your balls and fuck you. Oh boy, they say, brother, you better believe we're going to fuck you in the ass, brother. And there's little old me, little white boy in jail. First I'm going to jail and here's young Robin's graphic recounting of his time in jail in 1977.

His latest special leaves something to be designed and they put you off in a sale. God, God save me. But the gods in honor. They paid them off. Hello, being raked. Yes, that is correct. My fucking bookie, a good web dot a g dot a g website. That's where this is where I have to go.

My bookie dad a G is a new website. They have gambling. You're like gambling. You go to website. My bookie dad a G they put in your credit card and it's very secure. They took the information and they put it right down on piece of paper and they remember it and then they folded up little pieces and eat it and it becomes shit to them. That is what they think of your money is that it's shit to them and that you say that sounds

bad but if you think about it, if your money is shit, they will not steal it. So my bookie dad a G go to the website or you'll be thrown in prison where you'll get the what they call the Robin Williams treatment. What they say what we will run him out like like we did Robin Williams when he visit Turkey as teenager when he come here as teenager and he accidentally touched the beautiful drapes when he visit the mayor's house and touch the beautiful drapes on tour and he spent the weekend in Turkish jail and he thought we wanted to hear the porky pig voice. But instead we fuck his ass.

That's right. Instead we fuck his ass and his body becomes fucked. Oh, are you the type of fan that knows football so well that you could choose any game and call it while my bookie is the place for you because they let you turn all your sports knowledge in the cash in your wallet. I love that because I have a lot of sports knowledge. Damn, that makes my lips tingle to do that. It makes your lips tingle to sing the jeopardy thing.

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That's right. Yeah. We'd like you to be, if you're going to bug chase, do it as safely as possible. Why don't you bug chase here? That's what my bookie.hg. That's what my parents told me. Hey, I got a fucking bug you can chase right here, pal. Why don't you come over here, sugar tits?

I got a bug. I got a bug for you. I got a bug. No, I got HIV from roughing up a guy that noticed a couple of used condoms. The gay mafia? Yeah. Well, the regular mafia, but I was on, I was on use condom detail because I disrespected the boss's daughter.

I told the boss's daughter she'll never be a joy in five. I say that with those, those lips, sweetie, you ain't never going to be a joy in five. I don't got any of you and say, what the fuck is the matter with you? You're going to say that my daughter isn't never going to give a good birthday dick suck. You fucking call me, you call me and disrespected me by saying my daughter is never going to suck a penis on your fucking birthday before getting back and I'm fine and sell 500 driving all the way to the charity event with the fucking Italian. The one we fucking talked about already, the one from before, he's got the tinted glasses.

And she, he rubs her on her lower back and it makes you feel uncomfortable, but it doesn't fucking matter anymore because she just sucks your fucking cock. When you were a fucking door man, you were a fucking door man and Reagan was just about to fuck everything up. So what'd you do? You fucking checked out mentally, you checked out a whole generation. Are you okay? I don't know.

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This is my bookie.hg. You play, you win, you get paid, you get paid, you get laid, you get slayed, you get your dick sucked, you ever listen to Metallica, you ever make a pussy when you listen to Metallica? Recently I've been listening to Metallica. I've been playing for whom the bell tolls. I love the way that the music is metal and the name of the band is Metallica. I love saying it, I love having the idea of having sex with a woman made out of metal. A woman that's like metal Mario, but she's a woman.

She's got a pussy. And of the idea of making sex to metal Mario, but she's got big tits. Six feet tall, all legs. She's just a leggy metal Mario that I have sex with. That's right folks. The fuck is a metal with you? What is a metal with you? Metal Mario's supposed to be your fucking metal man.

He's a fucking guy. He's fucking made out of metal. None of this fucking, none of this fucking Metallica shit. My little dog was, wouldn't I tell you about this fucking Metallica shit? You see this guy? How many he says he's going to have sex with metal Mario and she's a girl now. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, listen, I don't know about this. Come on.

I don't know about this. Metal Mario's got a fucking cock. Metal Mario. You tell me you're going to chop his metal cock off. What the hell is this? It's supposed to be, it's supposed to be Joe had fabric. Yeah, I thought I thought I was going to fucking slice fabric. Don't get my fucking dick, son.

Whoa. And that's it for me, folks, I'm going to kill myself. Rob Williams latest special I'm about to kill myself leads a lot to be this I already initially starts going off about water world and something about Joanne fabrics for hinting at the fact that he was raped and that he would prefer to be in China and that it would about the black guys in China. And then there's something about Joanne fabrics again at the end in the sopranos and then and then he just walks off stage.

But a true artist, I would love to watch that special man of 1000 when we just described yeah. We just did his hand Rob Williams a set list. Yeah. I don't know what it means, but I'll do my best. He is a fucking great performer. You got to give them in that as an actor. He's unbelievable.

Electric unmatched except maybe my dick. He moves for Reeves or boys rift all of Mrs. Doubtfire. That's right. That was supposed to be Matilda. Yeah. They hired him to play the fucking dad and Matilda and he was like, Oh, what if I dress up like a dumb bitch? What if I have tits?

What if I had a big pair of jersey tits and you could suck off. Oh, fuck. Fuck my pussy. Folks, listen, if you want to come see some of this style of humor live, I'll be at my Guby's Joke House Halloween weekend. And if you want to see it on a t shirt, you can go to come to town. There's new shirts, new shirts available, new shirt alert. Check out the shirt.

New shirt alert. The shirts are funding my addiction to making more shirts. You do love making shirts. The shirts are kind of self sustaining at this point, but I do love making the shirts. You stop me that biz and all my tour dates are there. And you know, it's pretty soon will be calendar season. So what don't holiday calendar. We are hard to work at the Stavie baby factory making Stavie baby 2021 calendars.

So I've got his little elves working overtime to make your calendars and they look like little stops. That'll be cute. Portley little elf boys. Little elf boys. That's right. Wow. You're thinking about how like the elves in the factory, it's like capital is like Carl

Marks. I'm going to have to do a two hour podcast this week on the elves factory where they need a union and the proletary proletariat and Trotsky. What about the whole? The elves don't own the means and means of production and Marxist Leninism. Yeah. What about the whole? A terrier.

Yeah. You get sex workers. Yeah. That's so true. That's cool. Okay. All right. Okay, well, all right.